#andromeda tonks and sirius black

[mrstellmeafuckingsecret]

'nobody's son, nobody's daughter' but it's sirius and andromeda black

[liv45no]

Ted: dating a Black is great.

James: so great!

Remus: the best!

Ted: but they tend to be a tad judgmental.

James: almost punitive.

Remus: they are monsters.

Ted: that’s why the three of us formed a secret alliance to help each other cover up our little mistakes :)

[toujoursincorrect]

Andromeda: Where’s Sirius?

Narcissa: Around.

Andromeda: Around?

Andromeda: You don’t have any idea, do you?

Sirius, dropping down from above: Did you know there’s a space above the ceiling?

[the-wxter-is-fine]

Alice: Dating a Black cousin is great and all but...

James: But they can be a little mean.

Remus: And dramatic.

Alice: Vain too.

Ted: Oh, and irresponsible.

Rita: Downright cruel sometimes.

All five of them: But that's FINE...

[burnt-up-stegosaurus]

I don't think Andromeda's rebellion was loud, like Sirius'. Not really.

I think Andromeda was a Black through and through. Her parent's pride: Slytherin, prefect, first of the class. She followed the rules, and she knew what her name entailed.

Andromeda Black used to scorn at muggleborns, to mumble stray "mudblood"s when the occasion was fit.

That's how her and Teddy first met. He and his Hufflepuff friends tripped with her, her books fell on the floor, just like a meetcute. But Andromeda didn't blush, she didn't feel like the protagonist of a romance movie.

She saw red. This careless Hufflepuffs had ruined her books, there was spilled ink all over her pages, and, worst of all, there wasn't a single pureblood amongst them.

Maybe she had already been having a bad day. Maybe, in any other situation she wouldn't have reacted, she would have been prideful.

But she cursed them out. She let out a long string of slurs that weren't even in use, a "this is what happens when they let fucking impure thieves into our school", etcetera, etcetera.

And she got a book to the face. Square, right in the middle.

Ted Tonks, one of the Hufflepuffs in the group, had grown tired of her racist rant, and had decided to put an end to it. The muggle way.

Hell ensued: Andromeda brought out her wand and started cursing. Ted charged at her with his bare hands (he was trying to prove a point). The rest of the Hufflepuffs scattered.

The teachers didn't take too long before they arrived and separated them, but Andromeda Black already had a black eye, and Ted Tonks had some ugly, bloody gashes where her curses had landed.

And they were forced to do Detention together.

They couldn't stand each other, from that point onwards. Until Andromeda started changing.

I don't think Andromeda's rebellion was loud. I think it was slow. I think she had to unlearn everything her parents had taught her, and I think at first she wasn't willing. But she was, eventually.

And she did change. She became better.

[not-rab]

regulus who dyed his hair from blonde to black to look more like sirius

narcissa who dyed her hair from black to blonde to look less like andromeda

[moonyswarmsweaters]

waiter: Kids under 5 and cops eat for free

Sirius: *nudging a 6 years old Nymphadora*

Her: I’m police

[rudamaruda520]

Narcissa: Where are the kids?

Andromeda: I thought they were with you...

Narcissa: ...Wait... So that means...

Andromeda: Oh shit!

*They both starts running as fast as they can up the stairs and burst through the door, just to find perfectly fine baby Reggie and Sirius sitting on the floor, listening to Bellatrix explaining in details how to kill a person with a fork in 7 different ways.*

[cryingoverdeadgaywizzards]

Sirius, Andromeda, and Regulus run away together and open up a little bookshop, but can only afford to pay two employees to divide the work with them. Andromeda handles the interviews and picks their two employees. Those two employees are Remus and James (two hot best friends who wanted summer jobs together)

Sirius and Regulus see them for the first time and absolutely panic. Sirius stands there in shock and Regulus tells them they’re fired.

[mrstellmeafuckingsecret]

andromeda black wouldve absolutely destroyed her gorgeous curly hair by straightening the FUCK out of it

[camisadoes]

i can’t stop thinking about an au where the black family is famous and they have a reality tv show like keeping up with the kardashians and i think im gonna start drawing a comic of this immediately

[genderfluidluna]

The younger generation at Grimmauld Place always know how much trouble they're in by exactly who gets middle-named.

One of the parents is yelling "Sirius Orion!" through the house? Must be a day ending in y. Same with Bellatrix Adhara.

Andromeda Venus and Narcissa Daphne are more rare to hear, but not unheard of. Everyone's a little wary on the rare occasions they get in trouble.

And if someone is yelling "Regulus Arcturus" everyone knows to run for the hills. Because Regulus never gets in trouble, so when he does it must be absolutely catastrophic.

[not-rab]

guys i miss them (talking about fictional characters that have been dead long before i was born)

[wisteria-lodge]

The Harry Potter Pretty People's Club

I’ve always been kind of fascinated by how and why *attractiveness* is used in the HP books. So, I’ve decided to play a little game, and score up characters based on how often their prettiness is brought up. Here’s my scoring system:

(1 point) - We are straight-up told that this character (or some aspect of this character) is attractive. The word beautiful, handsome, attractive, elegant, pretty, lovely, good-looking, good looks, nice-looking, curvy, or gorgeous is used.

(.5 points) - We are specifically told the character has nice hair, or nice teeth. (JKR describes teeth a lot, it’s a thing.) 

(.5 points) - The character is described as moving in an attractive way. The word lounging, lolling, graceful, posing, or haughty (so lounging/posing, but more evil coded) is applied to them

In terms of the ranking, twins and and parent+child duos get to compete together, because how common “they looked exactly like their parent” type descriptions are in these books.

No points for “they used to be beautiful” or “they would be beautiful if...” Also no points if someone is described as attractive specifically by Rita Skeeter. We are clearly not supposed to take her as a reliable source. Also not counting the times Petunia calls Dudley “handsome,” or the time when Slughorn calls Ron handsome while trying to cheer him up after the love potion, for the same reason.

(if you’re curious, Rita does describe Hermione as “stunningly pretty,” Pansy as “pretty and vivacious,” herself as “attractive blonde, forty-three” and Harry as “the most beautiful thing she had ever seen” when he’s giving the interview about Voldemort’s return.) So let's get to the top 26 most attractive (?) characters in Harry Potter.

#26 - WILKIE TWYCROSS (.5) 

“Graceful” apparition instructor. Unfortunately the rest of his description stresses that he’s practically see-through.

#25 - MADAM PUDDIFOOT  (.5) 

Has shiny hair. Unfortunately also “very stout” (and unfortunately we we know how JKR feels about fat people  : / )

#24 - ROMILDA VANE (.5)

Has hair that is “black and shiny and silky.” Of course Ron does say that while zoinked out his mind on love potion, so not sure how reliable his report is. 

#23 - HORACE SLUGHORN (.5)

Young Horace has “thick, shiny, straw-colored hair.” He’s also rocking embroidered waistcoats with golden buttons. Idk, I bet Horace was kind of dishy back in the day. Heck, I bet he still is. He’s well dressed, charismatic, charming. Someone has a crush on him. JKR is just mean and wrong about fat people

#22 - NEARLY HEADLESS NICK (1) 

Has “elegant” hands. So, if you’re into that…

 #21 - ANDROMEDA TONKS (1) 

Andromeda’s sisters are not actually going to make the list, because they fall in the “beauty potential” category. Narcissa “would have been nice-looking if she hadn’t been wearing a look that suggested there was a nasty smell under her nose,” and the “long blonde hair streaming down her back gave her the look of a drowned person.” I love Narcissa, but that framing isn’t especially flattering. Bellatrix was once beautiful, but “something — perhaps Azkaban — had taken most of her beauty.” Now if Andromeda looks enough like Bellatrix to give Harry a double-take, and she looks like a Bellatrix with “wider, kinder eyes” who hasn’t been to Azkaban… she more than earns her place on the pretty list. Also is described as “haughty.”

#20 - ANGELINA JOHNSON (1) 

“Rather attractive” according to Lee Jordan. Seems to wear micro box-braids, which Pansy says look like “worms.” Boo Pansy (who is not on this list.) 

#19 - PERCIVAL, KENDRA & ALBUS DUMBLDORE (2) 

Percival is “good-looking,” Albus has shiny hair, and Kendra is “haughty.” I’ll buy that the Dumbledores were a pretty striking family, that makes sense . But they rank a little low because they all only have one attractive descriptor apiece. 

#18 - OLYMPE MAXIME (2) 

She’s an elegant frenchwoman. The only lady on this list described as “handsome.” Also graceful, has shiny hair, and Hagrid is very into her. 

#17 - PARVATI & PADMA PATIL (2)

Both of them look “very pretty” in their Yule Ball dress robes, and are quickly snapped up by Beauxbatons boys when Harry and Ron ignore them.  

#16 -  FIRENZE (2) 

The “handsome centaur.” Also the only character described as “gorgeous” (by Parvati.) At which point Hermione scoffs and says that he’s got four legs. By which we can deduce that Hermione is a bit vanilla for this conversation.

#15 - BILL WEASLEY (2) 

Described as “good-looking” and “handsome” by Mrs. Weasley, and of course FLEUR is very into him very quickly. I considered adding “cool” to my list of words connoting attractiveness, which would have bumped Bill higher… but JKR seems to associate “cool” more with personality. Like Mad-Eye and Hagrid are “cool” without being especially pretty.

#14 - GELLERT GRINDELWALD (2) 

Briefly seen in a memory and a photograph, described as “handsome” both times.

#13 - LILY POTTER (2) 

A “very pretty woman” and a woman with a “kind, pretty face.” Like with Andromeda, JKR throws in “kind” to make sure we know this is good-pretty, one step up from the Patil twins who are girly-pretty (sorry Patil twins.) 

#12 - LUCIUS & DRACO MALFOY (2.5) 

They have super sleek hair. It’s brought up a lot. Pansy likes to pet it. 

#11 - BLAISE’S MOM & BLAISE ZABINI (2.5) 

Blaise’s mom is a “famously beautiful witch,” who “had been married seven times, each of her husbands dying mysteriously and leaving her mounds of gold.” Fanon needs to decide on a name for her, and I think Clytemnestra is the right amount of on-the-nose. Blaise himself is described as haughty, and picky, and tends to “pose” and “loll against pillars.” 

#10 - MADAM ROSMERTA (3) 

Attractive, pretty, and the only character who is “curvy.” (I think she might have the boobs of Harry Potter universe.) Also wears sparkly turquoise heels, which is cute. Ron is into her, and so (I think) is Cornelius Fudge. I mean -  “Rosmerta, m’dear… lovely to see you again, I must say. Have one [drink] yourself, won’t you? Come and join us.” Like, that’s flirty, right? 

#9 - ROWENA & HELENA RAVENCLAW (4) 

Surprising that they crack the top ten, but every time we see an image of them they are described as beautiful. Usually with a qualifier like “austere” or “intimidating.” Beautiful is a word with a little bit of an edge to it in this universe. Beautiful people are just… a little suspect. 

#8 - GILDEROY LOCKHART (5.5) 

Very handsome, good hair, good teeth. The teeth are honestly brought up enough to feel a little off-putting and predatory, which I think is exactly the point. Lockhart is a very 90s-Disney-movie queer-coded villain. But, he is extremely good looking (or at least very well put-together.) Mrs. Weasley and Hermione both have crushes on him, and he continues to get fan mail into his St. Mungo’s days. 

#7 - GINNY WEASLEY (5.5) 

Ginny’s an odd one. She’s described as “graceful,” popular, and “a lot of boys like her,” (according to Pansy.) Honestly, that’s mostly how we experience her beauty. Krum thinks she’s attractive, Blaise thinks she’s attractive, Amycus addresses her as “Pretty” in a creepy way, and so does some random Diagon alley amulet salesman. Both Harry and the narrative voice stay pretty quiet when it comes to thirsting over Ginny. We get the honestly very conflicted description “Ginny gave Harry a radiant smile: He had forgotten, or had never fully appreciated, how beautiful she was, but he had never been less pleased to see her” and then “Ginny and Gabrielle, both wearing golden dresses, looked even prettier than usual [at Fleur’s wedding].” Which isn’t even completely about Ginny! Maybe you could count the romantic descriptions of her hair being flamelike or on one occasion “dancing,” but that’s really it. I am doing my very best, and scraping the bottom here. 

#6 - HERMIONE GRANGER (7.5) 

Hermione seems to fall firmly into the “cleans up nice” category. She is the “pretty girl in blue robes” at the Yule Ball, looking good enough that Pansy gapes and Malfoy “didn’t seem to be able to find an insult to throw at her.” She’s also looking good at Fleur’s wedding, when Viktor and Ron are definitely interested. Her hair can look elegant and shiny if she puts in effort - otherwise it’s bushy, and Pansy compares her to a chipmunk. We also know she has large front teeth, before she gets them fixed. She occasionally gets a “graceful” or “haughty" description, and Greyback does creep on her (again with the creeping!) calling Hermione Harry’s “pretty little friend.” I also gave her half a point for the description of Horcrux!Hermione, who is “more beautiful and yet more terrible than the real Hermione.” That’s another good example of how JKR uses the word “beautiful,” and I guess “more beautiful” definitely implies some existing beauty.

#5 - CHO CHANG (8)  

Cho is very pretty. She’s often described that way, and she has long shiny black hair. She naturally pairs up with Cedric, who also scored an 8. I wish I had more to say about her, I really do. 

#4 - CEDRIC DIGGORY (8)

Our first “pretty boy" - he’s described that way by both Harry and Seamus. Seamus actually seems to kind of have a thing about Cedric. He doesn’t believe Cedric put his name in the Goblet of Fire because “I wouldn’t have thought he’d have wanted to risk his good looks.” And true, Cedric is “exceptionally handsome, with his straight nose, dark hair, and gray eyes” and probably our first extraordinarily pretty person. Angelina and Katie think he’s hot, Myrtle creeps on him - although, honestly - Myrtle creeps on everyone, and the text doesn’t take it very seriously. Interestingly in the film we get a moment of Voldemort turning over Cedric’s head with his bare foot, saying “Oh, such a handsome boy” - to which Harry replies “Don’t touch him!”  That’s a subtle difference - in the books it’s only threatening when girls get creeped on, the movies are a little more equal opportunity. 

#3 - SIRIUS & REGULUS BLACK (11) 

Sirius is hot. He’s “carelessly handsome,” his “dark hair fell into his eyes with a sort of casual elegance neither James’ nor Harry’s could ever have achieved.” He rolled out of bed looking this good. Sirius is graceful and lounging and bored as hell, but you know “handsomely so.” Even when he falls through the Veil, it’s a “graceful,” beautiful death. Regulus gets a shout-out too, because he “had the same dark hair and slightly haughty look of his brother, though he was smaller, slighter, and rather less handsome than Sirius had been.” But, as is mentioned nearly every time he appears on the page, Sirius is extremely handsome. Less handsome than Sirius is still handsome. 

I think it’s actually important to Sirius’ character that he is THAT beautiful. Sirius is a kid from a very bad environment who’s one bad day away from just snapping… but you’d never know it. He’s so attractive, he’s so effortlessly talented, he hides everything so well. Of course none of the adults in his life would be worried about him. 

#2 - FLEUR, GABRIELLE & APPOLINE DELACOUR (12.5) 

Fleur almost seems like a cheat, because she is supernaturally beautiful. She is “a woman of such breathtaking beauty that the room seemed to have become strangely airless. She was tall and willowy with long blonde hair and appeared to emanate a faint, silvery glow.” Even Aunt Muriel thinks she’s beautiful. (We also do get told that Fleur has nice teeth.)

But again, she’s beautiful. She’s that slightly threatening, too-feminine beauty. Until she gets married… and has a kid… which redeems her. “While [Fleur’s] radiance usually dimmed everyone else by comparison, today [at her wedding] it beautified everybody it fell upon.” 

#1 - TOM RIDDLE SR. & TOM RIDDLE JR. (14) 

Our clear winner, and also our second “pretty boy.” (Marvolo calls Tom Sr. “pretty,” and Tom Jr. is “his handsome father in miniature.” so yes, Voldemort does count as a pretty boy.) Poor Tom Sr. - the text frames the aftermath of his sexual assault as him “abandoning” his wife, but unfortunately that falls into the wider trend of only girls being victims of creeps in the HP books. It’s like the weird detail about the stairs to the dormitories - the girls can go to the boys dormitory, but not vice-versa. 

But yeah. Tom Riddle’s attractiveness is brought up almost every time he is. We even get details - we specifically know he lost weight and grew his hair out after he left school, and it looked super good on him. Hepzibah Smith is very into him, Bellatrix is very into him. (Although I do wonder just how snakey he looked when they met.) Adult Voldemort doesn’t treat the loss of his looks as any kind of sacrifice, he seems well rid of them. They’re just another annoying aspect he wants to shed on his quest for transhumanism. He gets rid of his father’s name, it only makes sense he would want to get rid of his looks as well. I do like the detail that his original eyes live inside the Locket, that is cool and creepy. 

(but, logically, I can only assume that means his original nose lives inside the Cup.) 

[starkayezer]

all the s/os of the black cousins have star tattoos.

Ted Tonks? Oh, you bet he has them littered all around his body.

Remus Lupin? Do you even need to ask?

James Potter? Hell fucking yes he has them. He has the Leo constellation, multiple stars around his torso, and the Canis Major constellation.

Rita Skeeter? She has them dotted around her hips and thighs.

Now, Lily Evans, well. She doesn't have stars, but you fucking bet she has flowers galore. She has flowers around her leg like they're growing up from her ankle, and she has one larger one right in the middle of her chest.

[mrstellmeafuckingsecret]

hi, I saw your post on Sirius and the Black family. Have you talked about Sirius and Andromeda? I wanna know your thoughts on them. Specifically her disownment. I personally don't think much of them.

omg this reminds me of an ask i got in like october .... sorry anon that's never getting answered i cant even find the ask...

i love them. i love andromeda she's like my favr of the black sisters and she's so cool and sad and hot i love her. sirius is litr the reason i wake up every day. canonically, i dont think they wre very close at all ,, like he liked her the most because he didn't have many options and he was never super close to her and she liked having some link to her past life and ,, when andromeda got disowned sirius didn't even know till he saw it in the paper or went home for christmas or smth

but in MY mind theyre bsfs u see. andromeda never lost her older sister touch and sirius neededd an older sibling and they were v cute. apparently he never tonks before ootp (i cant find the quote,,) but like that can just be them writing to each other or maybe he only saw her when she was a baby or smth ackk but theyre so cute !!! when sirius ranaway to the potters he dropped by andromeda's w them once before hogwarts and she v much embarrassed him by fretting over him ,,. also sirius had a crush on ted because he was nice and smart and never treated him like a kid .