#blinding shining star and stuff

[goofyikexd]

don't remember posting this here yet

[c0ntr0lledchaos]

Ive been working really hard on the Febuwhump writing challenge recently and haven't had the time to work on my DCA au so here are some snippits from the upcoming chapters

[navybrat817]

It's Cold Outside

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Female Reader

Summary: Bucky reflects while standing out in the snow and meets an angel... you.

Word Count: Over 700

Warnings: Slight angst, Bucky remembering the past, instacrush of sorts, Bucky Barnes (he's a warning, okay?)

A/N: For @the-slumberparty's December Daze Challenge: the first day of snow. May do a few more ficlets for them ❤️ Not beta read and written on my phone, so any and all mistakes are my own. Please follow @navybrat817-sideblog for new fics and notifications. Comments, reblogs, feedback are loved and appreciated!

Bucky couldn’t remember the last time he was happy to see snow. It reminded him too much of that fateful day on the train. The snowflakes falling from the sky was as if he was falling again, this time in slow motion. The crystals were beautiful, but fragile. They could easily break or spell doom for people who weren’t careful. And it was cold. Very cold.

He rubbed his metal arm absentmindedly under his coat. If he closed his eyes, he could imagine warm flesh instead of an instrument of destruction. Maybe he would’ve gotten a tattoo to honor his unit or family. The needle piercing his skin would’ve been pain he welcomed instead of the pain he didn’t ask for others to inflict on him. He didn’t just lose his arm when he fell. He lost himself.

The life of Sergeant Barnes ended, and the Winter Soldier began.

Tilting his head toward the sky, he couldn’t remember why he went outside to begin with. Maybe the bitter cold would freeze over the gaping mental hole in his heart long enough that he’d stop bleeding. Or maybe he wanted to feel the sharp wind blowing in his face to prove that he was still alive and standing. That no matter how many times the world knocked him down, he’d get up again.

But, God, why did it have to be so cold?

And why did he have to face it alone?

“Hi!”

Snowflakes gently fell around you and made you shine like the brightest star in the sky. So did your smile. It was so blinding he almost looked away, but he was afraid if he did so that you’d disappear.

A beautiful voice drifted to his ears and he was certain his heart stopped, but not in a way that made him afraid. Turning toward the source of that sound, he found himself staring at you. And his heart never beat faster.

Where did you come from? Were you an angel who landed safely from heaven? Did angels exist? He was ready to become a believer.

And it was the first time he felt warm all day.

He grudgingly tore his gaze away to make sure you weren’t looking at someone else, but he was the only one on the sidewalk. “Hi,” he croaked.

“Do you live here? I’m moving in,” you said, nodding to the building behind him. “Figures the day I do would be the day it snows and no one can make it out here to help,” you added teasingly when he didn’t answer right away.

He was too captivated by you to speak.

Blinking and telling himself not to gawk at you like a creep, he then noticed the box in your hands. “Yeah, I do,” he said, his feet moving on their own accord. “Can I help?” he asked, offering to take the box. Any excuse to continue to be close to you.

“Oh, thanks,” you smiled, making him lose his breath. “I really appreciate it, um…”

“Bucky. I’m Bucky,” he said, wishing he could shake your hand.

You gave him your name as a snowflake touched the corner of your mouth and melted. He no longer wanted frost over his heart. He wanted your warmth to fill his heart instead. “It’s really nice to meet you.”

“It’s nice to meet you, too,” he smiled back, spotting the small truck nearby. He understood why the weather might keep people away, but having to move by yourself? He didn’t want you to freeze or risk you falling with the many trips. “And, listen, if you need help with more of your stuff, I have time.”

“Really?” The next smile you gave him was a bit shyer than the previous, but was just as beautiful. “You wouldn’t mind?”

“Not at all,” he promised.

You briefly touched his left hand, and he could blame the gasp on the chill in the air if you asked. He didn’t have to close his eyes to imagine the warmth. It moved from his fingertips to his shoulder and he wondered if you really were an angel.

“That would be amazing. Thank you.” You turned around to get another box. “I’ll have to find a way to repay you.”

Maybe you’d join him for dinner one night. That would be repayment enough for him. And seeing you smile over your shoulder, for the first time since he could remember, he didn’t mind the cold. Or the snow.

Lovelies, I think Bucky deserves some love for Christmas. Love and thanks for reading! ❤️

Masterlist ⚓ Bucky Barnes Masterlist ⚓ Ko-Fi

[t-a-a-1]

Counting Stars

Pt.3: Nemesis Prime

TFP Optimus (Nemesis) x Female Reader

Summary: After revealing to Optimus that you are carrying his sparkling, he convinces you to stay under the Autobot care. However, after the sudden appearance of an old lover of yours, Optimus faces difficult challenges as he tries to win you back and learn how to prepare to be a father at the same time.

A/N: Lots of yearning, jealousy, delusions, craving, fluff. All that good stuff.

3K

Counting Stars

Pt.3: Nemesis Prime

Who is it? Who is walking among the river of memories? Holding into the hope of meeting what they desire ...

At the start of the beginning we walked in different paths,

At the end of the ending, we find each other in the same world ....

Who is it? Who is walking among the river of memories?

Your eyes adjust to the light as the cold makes your body shiver.

Not remembering much, you rub your arms to try and create heat with the friction. Your head hurts but you rub your belly, more concerned with the sparkling inside of you.

A bright light shines right in front of you. Putting a hand in front of your face to protect yourself from pain in your eyes from the blinding lights, you blink multiple times.

"Is that ... A human?"

"There's no way ... I thought they had become extinct after the end of the Great War."

    Suddenly, you are hit with memories. Megatron. The kids, in danger. Groundbridge explosion. You, in the middle of it. Optimus servo trying to reach you only for you to disappear from his grasp.

And you ended up here. An unknown, cold place.

"Should we bring it to Prime?"

    Hearing the title, you immediately stand up. You see Autobot emblems and feel relief to see that they were on the good side. You didn't know them but they couldn't be bad if they were Autobots ... right?

"No, we shouldn't bother him with such ... nuisance."

    His optics look up and down on you, a judging and disgusting look on his faceplate.

"I am sorry?" You ask, offended. "I am actually Prime's Sparkm–"

"But, Prowl, look, this one has a big belly and it's round!" he points at your stomach and you take a few steps back. "So squishable! Can we keep it?"

"Well," the Autobot with red spiky things in his helm, puts his faceplate close to you. You assumed his name is Prowl by what the other Autobot called him. "Its size could be helpful with cleaning out small organic materials stuck in our gears."

"Yeah, those tree-things give out a lot of leaves. I don't like the feeling of it," the other Autobot took a step further and picked you up on his servo. You feel colder, you could feel the cold emitting from his metal through the fabric of your clothes. "I don't know why Prime keeps insisting on keeping them, we should just cut them off and get rid of the problem."

"Jazz, you know how he gets when organic things get destroyed, let's not get there."

    From Jazz servo's you had a better view of the things around you.There are many buildings, so tall that you are unable to see the sky. A sense of megalophobia over-took you for a moment but quickly got over it after your mind made a few questions.

"I didn't know you had trees on Cybertron?"

    Where else could you be? Tall buildings, long roads that move among structures. Things that looked alien-like that your mind couldn't have words for. Especially, robots you had never seen before. But this doesn't tie down with Optimus' stories. Cybertron was supposed to be desolate, inhabitable. This place doesn't look completely dead, but it's as if a grey atmosphere had overtaken the entire planet but at least its people looked to be thriving.

"On Cybertron we didn't. But here, in the New Cybertron, well ... they are rare," Jazz says, he had a blue visor that protected his optics, or so you thought. "We almost ran out of trees during the Great War so after that Prime made a strict rule of not destroying organic materials."

"And that includes you," Prowl steps in, his mannerism a bit more aggressive.  "We'll follow protocol and keep you alive in the meanwhile but you'll have to prove your worth."

"But–"

You wanted to say something. It's not like you didn't want to work but you were pretty much pregnant and unable to move much or fast if required.

"Great!" Jazz interrupts.  "Don't worry, Prowl, I'll take care of it!"

.

.

.

"I've been doing this for hours!" you say as you end up drenched in Energon and carrying leaves and bugs, pulled out of some Autobot's gears. "Can I at least talk to Ratchet? Or Arcee?"

    You ended up in a hangar. What kind? You weren't sure enough. A medical one probably. At least that's what you assumed by seeing so many Autobots with scratches and missing parts. It was quite gruesome. You had many questions. Was the war against the Decepticons still going on?

"How do you know those names? Are you friends with them?"

    Jazz asks and his very evident obliviousness angers you. You didn't expect him to know but that's what you've been trying to tell and explain but he or anyone just wouldn't listen.

    You wanted to scream, to tell him that he is an idiot and demand that you see Optimus right this moment.

But instead, you just sighed and sat down on the enormous berth under you.

"I want to rest," you say. "I am hungry."

"No resting, you still have many bots in line waiting to get their gears clean."

    Prowl looks at you. He didn't scare you but you know that he will make you do your job no matter the circumstances ... unless ...

"I am carrying a Sparkling," you tell them, rubbing your belly. "I am feeling really weak ... I think I need Energon."

    Prowl and Jazz look at you then at each other. The Autobot with a blue visor starts laughing like crazy while the more serious Autobot just looks away, hiding his evident smirk on his faceplate. Feeling more frustrated, embarrassed and tired, you cross your arms in front of your chest and avoid eye contact.

"You are such a funny human!" Jazz puts his face closer to yours, your entire being seemed to be a joke to him.  "A Sparkling? Cybertron hasn't had a single Sparkling, even way before  Prime lost the Matrix of Leadership."

    Your heart stops. For a brief moment just to beat faster than usual.

"... What?" you shake your head, not believing completely what Jazz had said. It must all be a product of your imagination.  "What do you mean he lost the Matrix of Leadership?"

"Well, it was to be expected since he annihilated all the Deceptions during the Great War," he continues, as he considers this information to be common history. "I wasn't there for most part but I heard Prime offline and punished anyone who dared speak against him."

"Optimus ... Killed Decepticons?"

    Suddenly, you feel a pain in your stomach, making your legs weak. You lose balance and fall on the large bert underneath you.

"Jazz–" Prowl notices your sudden change and tries to interrupt the talking bot. But not only that, you had called Nemesis by his old name.

    Prowl had heard the stories from others. From Ratchet mostly who only spoke of the matter once. The day he had arrived on Earth, Optimus was no longer a Prime. Having lost composure and killed mercilessly, Primus no longer considered him worthy. Prowl didn't remember Optimus being like that. He had wondered what had occurred for the Prime to lose all honor.    

And after insisting and insisting, Ratchet only said one thing to him.

"The things they did to them ... I can't blame Nemesis for doing what he did but ..."

"He is so scary but kinda weird too," Jazz didn't seem to be hearing Prowl nor seemed to care about your well-being.  "He demanded that every building in Iacon be so tall that the sky will be impossible to see at night because apparently he hates looking at the stars."

    Prowl just stays quiet, watching your reaction to his words. Looking for any hints that would tell him that he is going crazy. That his intuition is playing a joke on him. Because it can't be. Not. It can't.

"Without mentioning he didn't care that the war would make Earth inhabitable for humans."

"Earth?" you look up as breathing becomes difficult, your stomach pulsating as the pain increases. "But this is Cybertron, isn't it?"

"It's the New Cybertron, it used to be called Earth."

"No, no, he wouldn't–" your hands shake. You look around, trying to look for another human being. For any single indication that you are not alone. But there's nothing. The last trail of organic forms are not even human but trees. "What did you do to my home?"

"Your home?" Jazz's faceplate is still close, there is a cocky smile. Even devilish, as if he enjoyed watching you in distress.  "It's ours now."

"Jazz!" Prowl finally pushes him away. He gets closer to you, looking more gentle, and more curious about your being. "What is your name, little one?"

"My name is," you struggle to keep your eyes closed. The pain was too much and your body was beginning to give up. Tired, hungry, just trying to survive."My name is (Y/N)"

    And you slowly close your eyes and drift into slumber. Or that's what Prowl thought as he studies your body, it doesn't look like you were sustaining any injuries However, it seems you were low on energy. Maybe you were right, you did need Energon.

"Contact Nemesis Prime. Immediately."     Prowl says, without looking at Jazz who stood behind him.

"I don't think we should bother him–"

"Now."

    Prowl voice becomes heavy and louder. That's when Jazz knew it was his time to stop playing around.

"As you command."

    Prowl hears Jazz walk away. Meanwhile, his optics are still on you, his processor, playing memories of a conversation he shouldn't have heard of Ratchet talking to himself.

"If you saw Optimus right now, (Y/N), ... Would you still love him?"

.

.

.

    A beeping sound wakes you up and you wish for everything that's sacred that you have returned to your dimension. That everything was a nightmare. That you are back in the loving servos of Optimus. Your Optimus. Not the one Jazz and  Prowl told you about. You can't fathom it. An Optimus that was capable of doing such things–

"Nemesis Prime will be coming soon."

    You hear a familiar voice and quickly turn your head. There you notice a big figure, white and red. Typing on a data screen, keeping his optics on your vital signs.

"If I were you, I would be ready to answer any questions he might have."

    You let out a heavy sigh, relieved to see a familiar face. But Ratchet looks tired. As if the years have already weighed on him. As he walks towards you, his gears can be heard. His joints do not move as smoothly as he used to. His pace is slower and you get the need to stand up and help him sit down.

"Ratchet–"

    He raises a servo, making a sign to you to stop talking.

Closing his eyes, he doesn't dare to look at you as if your mere presence was painful to him.

"Just ... Where," his voice glitches . "... Where were you?"

    You wanted to say something. Everything that you've been holding these past hours and yet nothing would come out of your lips.

"I ... I am not ... from here," you managed to murmur words that may not be loud enough for him to hear. "It was a mistake–"

"You died!" Ratchet screams and it's the only time you have ever heard him do so. "And you say it's a mistake?"

    Your heart beats faster than your mind can formulate questions, especially about what he just said. His optics show a kind of anger, the kind you never thought would come out of him. Ones that used to be so gentle, kind and now there is nothing but pain.

    The doors of the hangar open.

Revealing bots in arms, stepping aside to leave enough space for him to walk through.

    It looked like Optimus to you.

Yet there was something different about him that made you feel eerie. A tall and strong figure. His known blue and red colors were no longer present. Instead it was just grey and black metal. Yellow, empty, eyes and a battle mask. One that he would not put away.

"Status?"

    He simply asks and Ratchet doesn't look him in the eyes.

"She's organic," Ratchet says, his voice softer, delicate. "At first, I thought she might be a creation of the opposite faction ... But she's carrying a Sparkling."

    You didn't know if anyone else noticed but Optimus servo twitched just a little.

"Does ..." Nemesis struggles and this was the first time in a very long time Ratchet sees Nemesis hesitate. "Does the electromagnetic frequencies match my own?"

"... Affirmative."

    He doesn't move, yet his optics are on you. Studying you, watching your movements. And for a small second. Just for a very, very small moment ... you see his gaze soften.

"Leave us, at once."

    The bots by the door follow orders immediately while Ratchet takes a few more seconds to look at Nemesis. Only to leave, the door automatically closes behind him. Leaving you and a bot that looks like Optimus, alone.

    There is an indescribable silence. As he stands tall and intimidating. He waits for a few seconds before bending half of his body and his faceplate, once again close to you. His optics do not blink as if he was afraid you would disappear if he takes his optics away from you for a second.

    You know he won't harm you, if he wanted to he would have done so a very long time ago. Instead it's as if he is waiting for you to do something.

    But as you move closer, he flinches away.

That doesn't stop you. Reaching out a hand, you slowly make your way to him. This time, more brave, more courageous.

    You touch his battle mask and only after feeling your warmth, he allows himself to close his optics. Baskin and indulging himself in the feeling. And although you couldn't see his entire face, his yellow optics were expressive enough to let you know it's been a while.

A very, very, long time since he felt some sort of kindness.

    Under his bright yellow optics, you feel a cold emitting from him. Running down your spine, your body immediately shivers. The entire room is cold but he is more so.

    He notices this and he immediately puts a digit over his comm-link.

"Jetfire, collect human objects and build a small resting place. Round and soft items take priority."

A few seconds passed until a response was heard from the other side.

"Understood."

    The Prime stopped his previous actions only for his optics to find you once again. He puts a servo next to you and waits. You aren't sure what he wants you to do but you assumed he wanted some sort of interaction.

But you are uncertain.

You were about to reach out a hand. But he moves away. Walking backwards as if he was afraid.

Would he ever say something? Or was he waiting for you to start the conversation?

    But before you could say a word, Nemesis walks out of the medic room, leaving you with more questions than answers.

.

.

.

A robot named Jetfire escorted you to Prime's private quarters. A building with a strange shape that humanity could have never thought of. Yet beautiful in its own uniqueness.

But the inside was cold and uncomfortable. Sharp edges and things spread out, monochrome colors. When you talked to Optimus about having a home, he often would say he would enjoy soft things. Round things. Small and cozy. Not ... whatever this was.

"Prime will be arriving soon. I suggest you," Jetfire puts you down on a table and looks at you. His optics looks up and down. "Become big."

"...Big?" you asked him, confusion clear in your voice.

"Our size?"

"This is as big as I get."

"Then how did that happen?" Jetfire points at your belly as your put your hands on top of it in an overprotective manner.

" Well um, he Mass-shifted," you simply say, not wanting to go into details. "Do I need to be more specific?"

"He ... Mass-shifted?"

"Isn't that something Cybertronians can do?"

"Yes but doing so is a sign of weakness. Vulnerability ... To think Prime would ever do that," he makes a pause. "And for a human ... It's strange."

    You don't think he has ever seen a human before. But you don't like the judging look on his optics. It's as if he was curious, however, wanting to know more of you but didn't know how to properly ask or if he could.

"... How was he?"

    The question took you by surprise.

"What?"

"How was he ... before all of this?"

    He was asking about Optimus and although the question surprised you, you didn't mind answering.

"Kind,"

    You responded.

His optics became wider and he tilted his head in confusion. He looked as if the words 'kind' and 'optimus' didn't go together. Yet, there was some bewilderment.

"And what else–"

"Jetfire,"

    The doors of the corridor open, announcing a new presence in the room. He is intimidating and Jetfire quickly adverts his optics, not wanting to see his faceplate.

    Everytime Prime speaks he doesn't direct a word to you. This made you impatient as you wanted to say more. You didn't like this place. You wanted to go home and back to Optimus. He must be worried. And Nemesis was your only chance but he didn't seem the type to want to listen to anyone.

"You are dismissed."

    Nemesis walks past him and walks towards you. His servos at the back, making you unable to see them.

"I'll wait for your next command," with that, Jetfire simply makes his way to the metallic sliding doors but as he turns around to leave, he catches a glimpse of Nemesis' back. Leaving him more concerned and surprised than ever.

The doors close.

Leaving you alone with Nemesis and you didn't know what to say. How to start? Should you say that you are not from this dimension? That you want to go home? There's people waiting for you, worried about your well being.

    Yet nothing would come out. Maybe because deep down ... You are scared of him.

And the feeling is so surreal. Nemesis looks exactly like Optimus. But he is not. No matter how much you wished for it to be so.

"Umm, hello?" your mouth quickly goes dry as you notice his optics' expression quickly change as you speak. "My name is (y/n)."

    What a stupid way to start a conversation, you thought. Your mind couldn't understand that the giant robot in front of you was still too stunned by your presence to say a word. The fact that he never took off his battle-mask wasn't helping either.

"I am not from here. It was an accident, a groundbridge explosion and–"

    But before you could explain further, a closed servo reaches out to you. So quickly, so fast that it startled you, making you move back a few steps.

Nemesis moves his other servo behind you, to prevent you from falling and as he feels you once again, he quickly removes that servo back.

    You could hear his vents. Louder and louder as you just look at him. His every action, a mystery to you.

He opens the other servo, and on it, lying on the middle of his palm, is a sunflower.

    It is dying, the petals slowly falling.

"For me?" you ask and he moves his helm up and down in a nodding gesture. You walk towards his servo, make your way up and pick up the flower. But you feel something else. Underneath your feet, Nemesis' servo trembles.

    And you don't need to see his entire faceplate to know what he feels. His optics told you everything.

There's pain. So much of it.

    You wonder of the things he had gone through to have changed this much. You wanted to know it all. Of everything. To listen to him and know his sorrows, to share the burden of his sins.

You make your way down his servo and you are tempted to ask him to mass-shift. So you could hold him properly. Listen to him, give him the care he needs.

But ... It doesn't feel right.

"Thank you, I–"

    But he turns and walks away. Leaving you once again alone and baffled.

Without you noticing, he extended his servo and clutched it one again into a fist, trembling and so strong he thought he might break it. Trying to suppress all his feelings he couldn't tell you just yet.

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Previous>

https://www.tumblr.com/t-a-a-1/773493337592332288/counting-stars?source=share

Next (Special Chapter) :

https://www.tumblr.com/t-a-a-1/776307984290725888/counting-stars?source=share

[httpiastri]

favorites – pa17

genre: fluff, suggestive

pairing: paul aron x reader

warnings: mentions of 18+ stuff but it's pretty lowkey

word count: 1k

author's note: sleepy paul <33 forever in my heart <3<3 aaaaa this started out as me just praising paul's eyes and then his entire face and just.... yea idk im kinda obsessed. hope you enjoy and that this maybe can cheer you up from these last few races :)

3k celly l f2/f3 masterlist

paul aron is a pretty sleeper.

well, he is pretty at all times. after a race, cheeks flushed and hair messier than ever; curled up on the sofa with five blankets wrapped around him, the flu making his eyes all droopy; and maybe especially when he's standing on the top step of a podium, cap perched on his head and giant smile adorning his lips.

but even when he's asleep, lips slightly parted and nose scrunching up every once in a while, paul looks like god's most stunning creation. he's not just pretty, he's beautiful, with the type of boyish charm that can make any girl swoon.

back in the day, he adored the attention. nowadays, he only needs you to swoon, thankfully.

his light blonde curls are still tousled from the number of times your hands went through them last night, the feeling of his soft strands still lingering on your fingers. his face is so peaceful, a stark contrast to how concentrated it was a mere few hours ago when you were writhing beneath him as he whispered sweet praises into your ear.

the memory of yesterday makes a shiver shoot through your spine. it's your favorite way of getting ready to sleep; there's no better way to tire out than to spend some time with your needy boyfriend who's just come back from a triple header.

however, this is paul's favorite way of waking up.

the first thing he wants in the morning isn't coffee or a good bagel. it's to feel your legs tangled with his, your skin rubbing against his, your fingers intertwined with his. he doesn't really enjoy the sun shining in through the creak in your blinds, though.

"turn off the damn sun..."

the words lure out a sweet laugh from you, eyes fluttering closed for a moment as you relax further into your pillow. "can't really do that," you tell him with a shrug. "sorry, love."

paul groans – at you or the sun, you aren't sure, but the grumble that vibrates in his chest sounds a little like a frustrated whine, and you have to hold back another giggle. despite his sweet looks, he's a grumpy little thing in the morning; a fact you know better than anyone else. "not fair," he huffs. his accent is always a little stronger, a little thicker when he's just woken up, paired with the very melodious and dramatic tone he often uses which always manages to bring out a smile on your lips. "'m really tired..."

you hum in response. it wasn't too long ago that you both finally fell asleep, after all. when he lets out a sigh and finally opens his eyes, your heart skips a beat. or two. or five.

paul's eyes are your favorite things in the world.

they always have been. since the moment they first met yours, you haven't been able to look away. it's not just a common blue – one day, they've stolen the deep color of the ocean, and the next, they've mimicked the light blue sky of a sweet summer day.

they're especially hard to tear your gaze from since they remind you of so many things you love. the waves by the sea you used to visit when you were younger; the dark rain clouds covering the sky during a cozy storm; blueberry-flavored candy, blue raspberry sour patch kids, bubblegum cotton candy. sometimes even a purple nebula, giving birth to butterflies in your stomach instead of stars in space.

even half-lidded like this, sleep still clear in his gaze, his eyes are enough to send goosebumps all across your skin. the effect he has on you is just not fair.

"how are you even already so awake?" he questions, his tone complaining as if there's a personal vendetta against you not being as sleep-deprived as him. you shake your head, letting go of his hand to instead let yours graze his cheek.

"i've been awake for a while now," you say, watching as he pushes his head against your hand like a cat seeking physical attention, letting out a soft hum when your hand slips past his jaw and lands on the back of his neck.

"doing what?" he raises an eyebrow, albeit clumsily as he's still too tired to control his face properly.

his arm drapes over your waist, his large hand finding the small of your back before lazily tracing up and down your spine. "watching you."

"i can't tell if that's kinky or only creepy."

you scoff, tone growing defensive. "how would that be kinky?"

"i never know with you." paul gently pulls you closer so that you're flush against his chest, making it easier for him to bury his face into the crook of your neck. he inhales slowly, drinking in your scent, before letting out a sigh, his exhale tickling the bare skin of your collarbone. "you still smell of me, you know."

"wouldn't be surprised if the whole room smells of us..." his lips begin a journey upwards, trailing kisses all the way from the sensitive skin between your shoulder and collarbone to the underside of your jaw, before stopping to nibble on your earlobe. his callused palm caresses the skin of your naked back, before sliding down to your ass, squeezing it gently.

your eyes close again, body basking in the feeling of his lips and hands working in perfect synchronization. despite how awake you said you were, it's far too early for wherever this is headed. you call out his name once, then twice, but the sole difference is that his hand moves down to trail along your thighs.

the only thing you can think of is tilting your head down to meet his lips, your toes curling at the passion with which he's kissing you so even early in the morning. his tongue is already begging for access to your mouth, fingertips grazing the inside of your thighs and leaving you squirming under his touch.

it's all so perfect, exactly like it always is; with him pressed up so close not even a single atom could fit between you, with you finding no reason not to give in.

hips pressed against hips, chests against chests, mouths against mouths. your favorite place, your favorite feeling,

your favorite person.

[blue-jisungs]

save you

[ song inspo ! ] save you by yuta

[ author’s note ! ] fun fact!! originally i was inspired by the song... mamushi by meg n yuki chiba LMAO just uh, the line "we are stars" .. i was like,, hell yee, singer power couple yuta n yn! but then yutas solo came out n i uh,,,, yeah, it took a turn. also im really happy w this one hehe <3

[ summary ! ] you decided to prioritize your career. a selfish gesture to do, yuta thought. but in the end... was it?

[ extras ! ] idol!yuta, idol!yn; angst-y/hurt2comfort kinda ? some medical stuff but dont quote me on the accuracy, any med nerds feel free to hmu if something is not right!

[ word count ! ] 1831

“we need to talk” 

those words, oh those horrific words that yuta hoped would never come out of your mouth, struck him like a lighting. 

you were serious, not a single hinge of a positive sign on your face. 

your boyfriend stood still, frozen in time. astoundingly, his heart was racing like a mclaren on a highway. before the ringing in his ears got to his brain, he tried to gaslight himself into thinking it’s nothing serious. such simple words should not impact him that much. and yet… 

“did something happen?” he asked, reaching his hand out. you were standing in the doorway, hesitating to come in. 

“i just… i need you to listen to me” you started softly, fiddling with the strings of your hoodie. yuta knew you like the back of his own hand, he knew you’re nervous.

“i’m breaking up with you”

the whole world stopped, including his breath. eyes widening, lips parting and opening in a shocked motion. 

“what?” he breathed out shakily, brows furrowed. 

“it’s not you, yuta. it’s me. i… god, i’m such an asshole but you need to understand. you’re a singer too” you carefully picked your words, as if you practiced million times beforehand. “i need to focus on my career. and maybe it’s also… i have this feeling that i’m only shining because of your light. it’s eating me up alive”

“are you kidding me?” yuta blinked, mind resisting what you just said.

“i’m sorry, i know you’ll hate me. and there’s nothing wrong with you, i love and will love you. i just need to be alone” pearly tears balanced at the edge of your waterline, threatening to spill out, but you quickly wiped them. because of that you smeared a bit of your mascara. your voice was barely above a whisper from the beginning to the end. “you have the right to be furious, to be mad. i get it. so i’ll keep going. i just… i’m sorry, yuta. it’s about me, i need to be selfish this one time”

there was a hint of begging in your voice, this kind of sadness that one has when facing their biggest fear. but yuta was too blinded by a whole hurricane of emotions to notice.

it’s been a year since that night and yuta can still clearly recall this memory. despite having more positive memories with you, this one always plays in his head whenever he sees your face. you released two albums, with one debuting last week number one almost everywhere. the public knew you were dating, since the company put a statement about it. however, they did not say anything about your breakup. 

so often people that haven’t seen him in a while  would congratulate you through him. each time ending with a sour expression on yuta’s face. 

he wanted to reach out but all his friends told him not to (“give it a rest” johnny nagged “clearly she doesn’t give a shit about you”).

but the more time passed by, the more sleepless nights spent in deep thought, yuta realized maybe there was another reason. maybe… 

“don’t overthink it, that’s how life works. i’m sorry man, she clearly loved you. but you’re in this business too, you know how it is” jaehyun would pat his back with a soft smile. 

maybe they were right, maybe it was his heart after all that never came to an agreement with your decision. 

he even texted you a couple of times, always meeting with his messages only being seen. 

“it’s time to let go, yuta. it’s been a year” taeyong’s advice is always the best, in the end. 

“l/n y/n to end her career! the singer didn’t state a reason, only leaving a long apology letter behind for her fans!” 

yuta’s heart halted, feeling as if a freezing icicle ripped through the muscle. 

first of all, he was genuinely shocked. 

second of all, he was worried. you left him to pursue your career and now you’re… leaving? was it all pointless? 

as your ex boyfriend (god, that still sounded strange to him) and as an artist himself, he felt like something was not right. he truly wished the best for you and now… you’re quitting? 

no one seemed to know what’s up – a massive flood of both hate and sad comments on the internet. twitter was filled with conspiracy theories (like, you flopped or you two broke up – which wasn’t wrong, necessarily. but it wasn’t also fully correct). 

yuta knew he had to find out what’s going on. if you’re doing okay. not knowing whether meeting you will only make things worse or better, the only thing he was certain about was facing it. 

the sound of doorbell caused you to stir awake from your nap. you rubbed your eyes and stood up, hoping it’s the takeout you ordered. 

your living room was covered in darkness, blindfolds rolled all the way down. sure, you were tripping all the time but that way you didn’t have to fight with the mess you made. 

you opened the door, leaning to grab the paper bag but instead, your head bumped into something. 

you huffed, looking up. you clearly left a message on the order to leave it on the doorstep because… 

yuta. 

“y/n” 

you gasped, ready to close the door. but his foot sliding between the doorframe prevented you from doing so. 

you two stared at each other in silence, both analyzing the other’s appearance. 

him, red hair stylishly falling on his forehead. he had his loose clothes on, a leather jacket thrown on a grey hoodie. he looked… well. healthy. as if your breakup never happened.

and you… greasy hair, pajamas that you’ve been wearing for the past – god knows how many – days, deep circles under your puffy eyes. 

“is everything okay?” yuta had the courage to speak up first, genuine worry in his voice. 

you could see he was fighting with emotions on the inside. 

opening your mouth and closing it, you wanted to say it. 

instead, tears pricked your eyes. 

your ex was the first person to ask you that question ever since you dropped the announcement. ironic, isn’t it? 

you started hyperventilating, wanting to scream it all out. 

“hey, it’s okay. talk to me” he said gently and watched in terror how your face twisted with sadness, pearly tears rolling down your cheeks “hey, y/n…” 

you jolted forward and hugged him, arms tightly wrapping around his waist. at first, he wasn’t sure. 

code red was booming in his mind, knowing that there’s going to be no way back. but his heart knew he has to be there for you. he has to be the one to comfort you. 

so he did, letting you cry everything out. gently holding you, swaying back and fourth. just like he always used to. 

just when he felt you calming down, breathing becoming more stable, he leaned away with his hands still on your hips. 

“we need to talk” 

hah. 

now that was ironic due to two reasons. 

you nodded and stepped aside, allowing him to come in. yuta did. 

he felt a stench of rotten food and dirty clothes. your place was soaking in darkness… not a natural one, it was still sunny outside. anxiety rushed over his body. things are certainly not right. 

you sighed deeply and ran your fingers through your hair, thinking. 

then, you lead him into your bedroom. 

quickly putting the blindfolds up and then sweeping the piles of clothes off your bed, you had to squint your eyes. you had to adjust for the natural lighting. 

you felt yuta’s burning gaze on you. 

with a heavy heart, you pulled out your phone. 

“i’m worried. i have my own challenges and struggles but i feel like you need saving more than me” he hummed softly, ebony eyes scanning you with a tender gaze. 

he saw you swallow hardly, typing something. then, you turned your phone around with tears pooling in your eyes once again. 

the note read: “i lost my voice permanently”

his heart dropped, breathing coming to a halt. 

“what?” his head is spinning, panic settling in. that’s a horror for a singer. 

you nodded and added something else. 

“i got aphonia. i recently had laryngitis, it disappeared and then appeared again. and so on. until one day it didn’t go away. but my doctor warned me beforehand that this may happen” 

yuta closed his eyes and shook his head, trying to reject it. he heard of those illnesses, of course he did. his vocal coach mentioned them but also said that they are very rare, often affecting only 0.4% of the people between ages of 14 and 35. 

but he didn’t think… out of all people… it would be you. 

he opened his eyes, wanting to say something… anything. no words came out, his throat feeling as if someone held it with an iron grip. 

you switched to another note. he looked at the date and his eyes widened upon realizing. 

the day before you broke up with him. you already knew, you had it prewritten. 

“i thought this day would come and you know how much of an overthinker i am. maybe it’s good i lost my voice because i wouldn’t be able to say it out loud without my voice breaking. 

yuta, i wanted to break up with you to save you from pain. i didn’t want you to see me struggle, to see me rot inside because im not able to do what is my passion. 

i knew i’d lose my voice sooner or later and wanted to record one or two last albums before i wouldn’t be able to. i wanted to put all my heart in, i knew i had to focus. and spare you pain. 

i’m sorry. i know i ended up hurting you nevertheless. it was inevitable

maybe you wou” 

the last word was clearly stopped halfway, a thought escaping you. 

just when he finished reading, he realized you’re crying again. 

everything clicked suddenly, like a puzzle. why were you whispering when you broke up with him, that you did it so he wouldn’t see you suffer. so your decision was just a cover and it wasn’t selfish after all, no. it was the complete opposite. 

“it’s alright, it’s alright” yuta said, stepping closer. he wrapped arms around you, pressing your head to his chest gently. the drum of his heart made you shake… you missed that sound “i’ll save you. we’ll go to different doctors. there has to be a cure–”

he wasn’t able to finish because you just shook your head with a loud sniff. “i’ll be here for you now” 

you felt weak. like a burden.  

“we’ve got this” yuta whispered, a bittersweet feeling in his heart. he hated seeing you in pain, especially such a big one. but now it was his turn to be selfless and help you, save you; love you. 

nct m. list | event m. list

taglist. @l3visbby ,, @laylasbunbunny ,, @planetkiimchi ,, @mon2sunjinsuver ,, @w3bqrl ,,

@eternalgyu ,, @haecien ,, @slytherinshua,, @rubywonu

[pretty-mik-97]

Daminette Déjà Vu: The Same Story, Over and Over

I'll be honest, when I found out that people shipped Damian Wayne (DC comics) with Marinette Dupain Cheng (Miraculous Ladybug) I was like: Why the hell would people put these two together?

Like canonically speaking, Damian Wayne is the LAST person Marinette would ever date. Baby girl don't like dudes who are rude and condescending, and that's basically Damian.

As for Damian? He'd probably be mostly annoyed by her.

So, in theory, this ship doesn't make sense since both of these two's personalities clash.

However

I was willing to give it a chance and let the fanfiction writers cook with this ship. I've read some ships that canonically don't make sense, but the fanfic writers made it work, and it made me like the ship.

So surely I was going to find some good Daminette fanfics thar actually made this ship work right?

.... kind of. There are some good Daminette fanfics that I've read, but there was one teeny tiny issue I had with them.

It's basically the same plot.

No, seriously. Reading A Daminette fanfiction on Wattpad and AO3 felt I was reading the same plot over and over again.

Here's your standard Daminette fanfiction:

Lila has successfully turned the entire school against Marinette by framing Marinette as the bad guy, and now she's getting bullied.

Alya is Lila's new best friend who absolutely hates Marinette's guts.

The whole class either goes to Gotham City for a school field trip where they meet the Wayne family, or Damian gets transferred to Paris.

Lila lies about having met the Waynes and either previously dated Damian or that Damian has a crush on her.

Marinette is somehow connected to the Wayne family or is related to a DC character (I actually read a fanfic where Marinette is Lady Shiva's niece. Sabine is Lady Shiva's sister and was previously part of the league of assassins.)

Damian becomes the knight in shining armour and the person to expose Lila's lies and humiliates her.

Obviously there's some miraculous/akuma and DC Young Justice and Teen Titans stuff going on but that's generally the what I've seen from damn near EVERY Daminette fanfic I've encountered and read.

Well, except one. It's called Darkest Night, Bluest Stars and it's written by my best friend. It's on Wattpad and AO3. It's pretty good.

It's like people are just recycling the same trope over and over, but don't even bother to be creative or play around with it at least a little. And I ain't gonna lie, it gets kinda boring seeing and reading the same trope for this ship over and over again.

Like is the only thing Daminette is good for is to be an outlet for writers and readers to have this one character/plot device who can actually expose Lila and just happens to come from a rich and elite family and has the power and influence to do so?

Like I see some potential for this ship.

We can go for

Enemies to lovers where Ladybug and Robin are forced to work together because they share a common enemy.

Forced proximity/reluctant allies where Robin is forced on a mission to Paris and has to work with Ladybug instead of riding solo.

You want some non hero AUs? I gotchu

Academic rivals to lovers

Blind Date

Fake Dating

Arranged Marriage/Business Partners

Opposites Attract

Like give us something with this ship that does not involve the Bullied Marinette and Saviour Damian trope, please, and thank you.

[darling2411]

A Bullet wound and a friendly stranger

Jason Todd x reader

word count: 1.2 K

*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧ *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧ *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

"Damn it!" he groans in pain. How did this happen? Obviously someone shot him, but that never happened.

He is a trained killer. No one should be able to take a hit at him, he was gone before anyone could even notice him being there in the first place.

But the steady trip of crimson blood running down his arm left no doubt that he got hit, but how did someone find him?

It didn't matter he had to get his wound cleaned and he really had to leave the dark alley before someone found him in the company of two dead bodies.

The dark haired man stumbled out of the alley and into the busy streets of the city, leaving behind the death that he caused. It was as if he stepped into another world. The sun breaking through the thick clouds made the city's glass buildings shine as bright as  the stars in the night sky he was used to seeing. Jason was so blinded by the lights that he accidentally ran into an oncoming woman, who seemed to be deeply involved in the book she was holding. 

"Oh gosh I am so sorry" the beautiful girl states, "I wasn't paying attention at all, totally my fault." Her smile was even brighter than the city lights.

He saw her lips move but didn't hear the words they were forming. She had really pretty lips, and her eyes ,whoa her eyes were beyond beautiful, they were magnificent. Jason decided then and there that they were his new favourite sight.

"Are you alright?" she asked after he didn't react to her former statement.

"I´m sorry, I-", what was he supposed to say? Sorry that I didn't answer because I was too busy staring at your gorgeous face?, "I was lost in thought. Sorry that I bumped into you." why was he suddenly so nervous? He didn't get nervous.

"Like I said before, it was totally my fault." she said while taking him in. Her eyes widened when she noticed the blood dripping down his arm."Oh god you´re bleeding. Let me help you clean that up. That's the least I can do. My apartment isn't far."

"How could I deny a beautiful woman like yourself inviting me to her home?", he replied, a smirk playing on his perfectly kissable lips.

She was even more beautiful when she blushed and he loved that he made her.

"Come on."

The walk back to her place was quiet, filled with stolen glances and the occasional brush of his fingers against hers. He couldn’t stop seeking her presence.

"You can sit down wherever, I´m going to get some stuff to clean up that wound." she says while walking through the door, Jason close behind.

He decided to sit down at the kitchen table not wanting to get blood on her comfy looking couch.

Her apartment was full of life. Everywhere you looked  parts of her life were displayed.

Framed photos with family and friends, pictures of places she visited, books that adorned every place she could fit them. She was the exact opposite of him.

Where she was light he was dark, where she was joyful he was grumpy and where she was life he was death.

When the woman whose name Jason still didn't know returned he was reading in one of her books.

Had she been gone that long? Without him noticing she looked at him again really looked at him. Taking in his bulging biceps. His gorgeous face and soft looking hair. Then she realised what he was holding in his hands that looked so much bigger than hers.

"What are you doing?" she squeaked. He had opened one of the books that laid on her kitchen counter, she had just read it this morning and forgot to return it to it´s righteous place. He didn't think anything about it. Though it was a harmless romance novel, the titel `Twisted Games` definitely deceiving. This was not a simple little romance novel.

"Crawl to me " he was hooked from the very first words on the page he opened and then the spicy stuff came. He couldn't stop, he just wanted to read a few pages until the pretty woman returned but now? He couldn't put it down and additionally he was turned on.

"Don´t read that" she stomps over to him, her face flushed with embarrassment. As she glances at the page he is on her eyes widens and if possible she blushes even more."Oh god, why did you have to open that book at that page" she says more to herself than him. Is she ashamed? Huh.

"Why? Don´t want me knowing about the filthy things you read about?", Jason leans closer," Tell me pretty girl, do you only enjoy reading these things or do you also like to be treated that way?" His voice dropped and he could see her pulse quickening. Could hear her breath hitch. He was attuned to every little thing she did. Painfully aware of how close she was and how good she smelled. Vanilla and was that cherry? Whatever it was, it was intoxicating and it made him want to do filthy things to her. Things like the ones she reads about.

"I-"she stammers, "I think, uhm" she closes her eyes for a second, inhales and then opens them again to directly look at him ," I think I should take a look at your wound before it turns into something serious."

He watched her as she cut off the sleeves of the tight shirt he was wearing. Eyes widening when she saw the ugly flesh wound the bullet left. That was going  to leave a scar, another one in his collection. He felt incredibly stupid not to wear his red Hood suit and mask today.

"How did that happen", she asks him, concern evident in her voice and on her face.

"Don't worry about it, pretty girl." He didn't want her knowing who he was what he didn’t and he definitely couldn't let her in on his secret. That would surely cost him every chance he ever had at getting to know her better.

"[y/n]" she mumbles, hands busy disinfecting his wound. “Now you don’t have to keep calling me pretty girl.”

"[y/n] ." he tries out her name on his tongue. It sounded perfect. She also liked the way he said her name. As if he hadn't done anything else in his life. It sounded so familiar. “ I like calling you pretty girl”

"Does this hurt?" [y/n]  asks, instead of acknowledging what he said. 

"Not really"Should he hiss, act like it hurt? This little wound was nothing against everything else he had had to endure before. "I mean it burns and everything but it's not as bad as it looks."

"If you say so. I think you have a high pain tolerance. I'm sure I would be crying by now." she laughs. Shit, why did she have to say that? Now he was thinking of her with tears streaming down her face but in a different setting.

Her body writhing under his, tears of overstimulation streaming down her face and her soft voice begging him to stop and keep going simultaneously. 

God what was she doing to him? He never reacted this way to anyone. He was always in control of his emotions, never really feeling anything. It was a part of the job. And [y/n] made him feel more in the half hour he spent with her than he felt in the last months of his life.

A weird feeling emerged in him. He wanted to feel more with her, wanted to keep her around. Needed to be around her. What was this indescribable feeling swelling deep in his chest? He did not know, but he would learn soon enough.

ⓘ This is my first time writing for Jason and I'm more of a Marvel girly so I dont know thaaat much about the DC Comic Universe, but I am trying my best😭

[reuben-7991]

Octavian’s treatment is one of my least favorite things about HoO because it isn’t his character, it’s his lack of one.

We COULD’VE had an excellent character who was a look into what could truly go wrong with blind devotion like Octavian’s, drawing an excellent parallel to Luke’s blind hatred in the original series (Percy even says Octavian reminds him of Luke).

We COULD’VE had a fantastic contrast into a follower’s descent into insanity after making empty promises of power whilst under the influence of a massively elder being, thus leading to said follower’s death.

What makes me especially mad is that Octavian has no backstory. This is a problem with a lot of Roman characters, but Octavian especially. He doesn’t even have a last name. All we know is:

- He’s a legacy of Apollo.

- He used to be sane and probably very charismatic, due to Reyna stating she used to have a crush on him in TTT.

That’s it! One of Rick’s gold stars is that his human characters are just that: human. They have motivations and flaws, deeply personal origins and ideals that affect their actions and their outcomes. None of the villains are just plain villains, evil by birth. They have motives to back up their actions (now weither those motives make sense or not, that’s another story, but they’re still there.) There’s Luke, Medea, Lityerses (who is an entire other can of worms), Circe, Loki, Gunilla, Randolph, hell, even Kronos and Gaea. All of them have reasons for the shitty stuff they did. Octavian is a glaring exception. We know he’s power-hungry, but we don’t know why. We know he’s violent, but we don’t know why. We know he hates the Greeks, but we don’t know why. You may argue ‘oh, he’s a minor character, he doesn’t really get a reasoning’ which is just blatantly untrue on both fronts.

1: Octavian is NOT a minor character in the slightest. He has major roles in the plot throughout the books.

2: Him being a ‘minor’ villain wouldn’t have anything to do with his motivation. Chris from the OG series has stated motivation, and he’s way more minor than Octavian.

Another thing is that Octavian’s insanity is played off almost comically. He’s relatively well put together in SoN, only being super dramatic and reportedly blackmailing Hazel and probably other legionnaires, but by BoO he’s absolutely broken. He’s utterly obsessed with being a hero to the Romans, with being Pontifex Maximus, with killing Gaea and almost proving himself to Apollo (who is utterly disgusted by him), but it’s all either framed as ‘hate this guy more plsplspls’ or brushed away to the side.

I’m torn on his death scene, because it’s a good scene overall but too much of it is humorous in my opinion. Between Will calling Octavian an ‘anemic loser’ (which like. what.) and Leo describing his screams as a little girl’s, it seems almost too light for such a pivotal point in the story. Octavian has truly lost himself to madness, ranting and raving and insisting no, HE has to be the one to kill Gaea, HE has to be a hero.

His death is horrific, yet it’s framed as a silly oopsie.

What the fuck.

Overall, Octavian is a shining example of missed character potential. We could have gotten the Riordan special and made to empathize more with our villain, like what happened with Luke or Randolph from MCGA, but all we get is a crazy blond kid, character so shallow he could count as a tide pool. It infuriates me to no end how in a sea of good, properly motivated antagonists, Octavian is the outlier.

It’s a real shame.

[shiningstarr15]

I REALLY wish that more people in the 3 star fandom would at least CONSIDER the idea that Vanessa and Gregory’s relationship would NOT start off amicable at ALL.

Like these are two characters who basically HATED each other throughout all of security breach. All Vanessa saw with Gregory, was a bratty child who was sneaking around the pizzaplex, blatantly ignoring her, and was breaking every animatronic. But what did HE see? He saw the only adult in the whole place.. acting like a fucking child. Screaming and stomping around, calling the kid names, and shining a blinding light in his face. Not to mention this person ALSO ends up being a masked killer in a bunny suit. But you know what? It doesn’t matter bc VANESSA HERSELF was still being problematic that night! Not just Vanny! She should not be getting off Scot free just bc of that! SHE NEEDS TO STILL BE HELD ACCOUNTABLE

And did it also ever occur to anyone.. that Vanessa wouldn’t take Gregory in outta some newly acquired love for him? That maybe instead she’s doing it out of obligation.. she feels like she owes him for saving her life. It’s a white savior complex if anything..

All I’m saying is.. LET THEIR RELATIONSHIP GROW! Let them become FRIENDS first ffs! They have a lot of awkward and tense conversations that need to be had first. I believe that they can and will become friends later on! I do believe that they will view each other as honorary family later on, but LET THAT HAPPEN NATURALLY. I don’t think things will ever be truly EASY for them, but they will get EASIER. I think they will learn to love each other truly, but again, this stuff TAKES TIME. Especially when they were practically enemies from the start, and ended as strangers.

[yukipri]

So I've been trying out the new Star Wars Hunters game that came out on Mobile & Switch recently!

I haven't played many brawling type games like this so I wasn't expecting much, but I've actually been really enjoying it so far! I've probably put too many hours into playing (especially since I was super sick around launch and didn't have much else I could do), and I hit max level 50 and Kyber in ranked a while ago... (yeah, playing too much, I know...)

Thought I'd share my initial thoughts though, since I've put in the time!

Note: Some folks have apparently been playing the beta version for a while, but I've only started playing since the public release.

Stuff I like about it so far:

-The really creative and fun SW universe characters is the best part. A blind Miraluka sniper? (Diago) An Ugnaught driving a Droideka? (Slingshot) Literally two Jawas in a trench coat??? (Utooni) They're fun and have great personality, you can read their blurbs here. I like how they're all voiced and also all have their own theme songs (which are honestly heckin catchy)!

-Controls are very intuitive. Again, I am not much of a gamer and have very little experience with these kinds of games, but I picked it up quick. I play on my iPhone and it's great.

-The graphics are GORGEOUS. It looks beautiful, everything moves stunningly smoothly. Honestly it's hard to believe this is a ftp game.

-So far it's very much ftp friendly! Most of the money locked stuff are just cosmetics, and even then there are tons of free ones. One of the characters, Aran Tal, is currently behind a not-too-expensive paywall, but he'll apparently be available for free soon as well.

-The skins for the characters are fun and creative! Imara Vex has one that looks like Durge, and Zaina has one that kinda gives me adult Omega vibes. The store has an active rotation of skins that you can buy with either irl money or in game currency, and apparently old event skins eventually end up in the circulation too. Here are just a couple of my favorites:

-I love the locations! Each one is very Star Wars vibes and has lots of cool lil in-universe elements, like pod racers going through Mos Espa (they can run you over). The time period is New Republic era, so everything is relatively plausible for that time period in universe.

-There's a bunch of different game types, so you don't get bored, and they each have different challenges, and different characters who shine in them. It's unfortunately a bit addicting.

-The events aren't too grindy or tedious (so far).

-I really appreciate the different modes you can play on! The main two modes are casual and ranked, so it's possible to play low stakes and just level up your characters in casual, or try to challenge yourself more in ranked. I appreciate how the limited time events that sometimes throw you into random characters you might not be experienced with are never ranked, so it's okay to suck. Character leveling is the same in both casual and ranked. And I appreciate the Training mode too, where you can try out all of the characters so you're never in a "wtf does this do" in a PVP environment. I get so anxious during PVP if I don't know what I'm doing.

Stuff I hope they improve on:

-Playing with people + party invites are kind of a pain. The invites disappear really quickly, so it's really hard to time it so you can actually play with your friends. It's also hard to know whether the party is going to be playing ranked or casual, and if ranked you can't see the ranks of the folks in your party before agreeing to join, which is a little nerve wracking.

-This is less a complaint, and more just general frustration, but ranking up is pretty tedious near the top, which is to be expected I suppose. Through Aurodium, it was generous because you earn so many more points when you win than when you lose, but in Kyber, you win/lose the same amount. You are judged by your team score, so losses bring down everyone's rank, and it feels like you have to take three steps back for every one. Kyber players are comparatively more competent, but I've been in some...unfortunate matchups before. (As of writing this, I'm in Kyber III, but I've been bouncing between Beskar II~Kyber II for the past two weeks...will I ever make it to Kyber I cries)

-I think they started with a decent batch of characters, and I know this game just came out of beta and the team said they'll be expanding on them! So this isn't really a complaint either. But in the future, I hope they add more female characters (currently only 4 female characters out of 13 total, which feels a little skewed), as well as more support characters, who always feel lacking.

I'd love a few more "popular" iconic Star Wars species to have characters in support. Maybe a Togruta apothecary? A Nautolan water medic? A Pantoran doctor? And personally, I'd love a super buff Twi'lek lady as a tank! Either way, lots of possibilities to look forward to, especially given how much I love the characters so far!

So far, I've been playing on my iPhone and it works pretty smoothly, though I've heard of some Switch users having trouble with lagging/connecting. I think I've only been booted out once, and even when I'm forced to pop out of the app for a moment (last night, I got an Amber alert that paused my screen), I was able to continue playing with barely any pause, which is honesty impressive. I've heard controls are easier on Switch, but I think I've been doing okay on mobile.

Have you tried this game out??

Here's the launch trailer if you're interested, it's Pretty:

And a self plug!

Feel free to add me, I'm Akaz!

I main Skora (Rodian support) and prefer to play her in ranked, but also have Aran Tal (Mando, he's my baby boi), Sentinel (Stormtrooper tank), and Diago (Miraluka sniper) also at max level. Working on leveling up the others in casual mode!

I'm very happy to play casual mode with anyone! (and I play casual mode a lot to level up my less-used characters, and recommend spending some time there for new folks before diving into ranked)

I'm also happy to play ranked!

(but be warned, you'll kinda want to know what you're doing, or they will slaughter you in Kyber)

I might type up a follow up review giving my thoughts on each individual character and maybe some general tips idk

[loki-cees-all]

Ch. 4 - Hope Against Hope {Against All Odds - TVA!Loki x Female Reader Longfic}

Previous Chapter / AO3 Link / Against All Odds Masterlist / Next Chapter

Pairing : TVA!Loki x Female Reader

Summary : After you and Loki do the deed, Loki does a little soul-searching.

W/c : 4.7k words

Content / Warnings : Smut (p-in-v), angst (knife-in-heart), mentions of a future addiction for the reader (nothing specific is mentioned, and no actual use of illicit substances ever takes place), and Loki rifling through all of your stuff. It's fine, though! He has a good reason!

Author's Note : Apologies this is so late! It really, really got away from me, and I was absolutely struggling to get it done. But, it turns out I was just trying to do too much in one chapter, so once I cut it off at what was the halfway point, it became much more manageable. (Major shoutout to @infinitystoner for helping me with that. I love you!) Anyway, happy reading!

18+ Only - Minors DNI

⊱ ── ༓ ── ⋅•⋅⊰ ──  ⋅ ∙ ∘ ☽ ༓ ☾ ∘ ∙ ⋅  ── ⊱⋅•⋅ ── ༓ ── ⊰

Date : June 26th, 1977 [Sacred Timeline]

Throughout his thousand years of existence, Loki had witnessed a great deal of beautiful things. The golden shine of the palace he’d grown up in was the first; its light reflected brighter than the birth of a newborn star, shining down with a brilliance unrivaled to anything short of divine intervention. 

Every morning, he’d awake in awe of its splendor, and every night, when he laid his head upon his pillow, he’d wonder if anyone else ever noticed the terrible irony of such a gorgeous place containing the harshest of people. 

The exquisite gardens of Asgard had always been his favorite place to be. Carefully tended to and guided by his mother’s loving hand, they contained every species of flower from each of the Nine Realms - meticulously organized by the shade of their petals, and perpetually in bloom thanks to her seidr. 

It was the perfect place for reflection; he had spent many late nights in those gardens, wandering up and down the rows, taking in the sweet aroma of the flowers and pondering his lot in life. And during the worst of Thanos’ many tortures, he’d often imagine he was back there inside Frigga’s gardens - shielded and protected, and lost in majesty instead of in pain. 

And the stunning destruction of the Bifrost would haunt him for the rest of his days. The explosion’s light caught the shards of the Rainbow Bridge and almost blinded him, illuminating nothing but his many failures in the most glorious of ways as he fell into its wake. The Bifrost had faded into golden dust, and clouds of sapphire and ultramarine had swirled together beneath him, and it was so magnificent that he almost forgot about the look of sheer disappointment upon his father’s face. 

But none of those things, not a single one of them, could ever compare to the sight of you coming undone beneath his devoted tongue. 

Loki continued working, his mouth and eyes eagerly taking in the evidence of your pleasure. His hands gripped your waist tight, as if to squeeze out every ounce of it that he could, while his lips and tongue lavished your clit. He’d never tasted something so divine, and he never wanted your pleasure to end. 

You cried out his name like the holiest of prayers, and Loki moaned its accompaniment. He could almost see the light radiating off your skin as your back arched off the bed, and the blood in his veins surged with want as your thighs trembled against his ears. He desperately needed more, to keep you sated and satisfied in euphoria for as long as he could - but he also needed to be careful. 

Because as far as you knew, Loki was just another simple mortal - one that had a job, and a family, and paid taxes. A human man, one that played rugby on the weekends, someone who was going to die in about forty years - when he was actually the furthest from anything that even resembledbanality. 

Ordinarily, in situations like this, Loki’s seidr would be on full display - to set the mood by lighting the fire in the hearth and the candles on the nightstand. To keep the wine flowing in their glasses, and the sheets warm against your bare skin. To remove his clothing in a flash of green light, just so he could bury himself inside you the exact second he wanted to. 

And Gods, how he helplessly wanted to be inside you again. 

Loki hadn’t been able to stop thinking about it since the night in the alleyway. It had been feral and hurried, dangerous and reckless, to take you against that wall and in public, but he’d be lying if he said it wasn’t the best he’d ever had. And it was so foolish of himself to think he could get by with only having you once, and so incredibly selfish to take you again while knowing what he knew about your future…

But even still, Loki’s cock ached underneath his trousers, throbbing in sync with every single beat of his heart. Desire coursed violently throughout his veins, mixing with both heat and adrenaline as he continued ravishing between your legs. He could feel you clenching rhythmically, your fingers tangling in his hair and your hips grinding upwards, and he could never deny you what you wanted. 

You were just past the height of ecstasy when Loki began to crawl up your body, following behind his lips as they worshiped your skin. He kissed his way up your belly, gazing up at your ethereal expression as your head lolled back and forth on the pillow. Aftershocks washed over you, one by one, and your lips parted with desperate breath and pleasured murmurs. It was beautiful, and perfect, and of nothing but sheer divinity. 

Loki kept his gaze locked on your face as he slowly kissed along your ribs, and your feet flexed, pressing into his hips as yours continued writhing. Your fingers curled tighter around his hair, a silent plea to urge him on, and he couldn’t believe that even after all of this, even while completely lost in the throes of ecstasy, you still wanted more of him. 

His initial plan had been to take you as slowly as possible - to savor, and to idolize you. He’d never been wanted like this before, and he didn’t know if this would be the last time he’d get to experience it. A lifetime of neglect had taught him affection was ever fleeting, and he should always relish it whenever it came. What little patience he had was quickly disappearing by the second, soon to be nothing but a distant memory of the time before he was whole again. 

Your eyes stayed closed as his name tumbled from your lips, and Loki knew this was the moment. He kept one hand clutched tight around your hip, and brought the other down to his belt, unbuckling it just enough to make a sound before his seidr dissolved the remaining clothing from his body and transported them to the floor, as if they’d been tossed aside in a hurry. 

He moved upwards again, and when he reached your nipple and pulled it into his mouth, you whimpered in pleasure and dragged your nails across his scalp. A deep groan rumbled in his throat and he began to suck harder, flicking his tongue wildly against the stiffening peak. This time you let out a sharp gasp, and your feet planted on the mattress to arch your back even more and press your hips against something, anything, of his. 

Loki graciously slid his thigh up to soothe the ache between your quivering legs, and you eagerly locked on to it, grinding your swollen clit against his taut muscles. You had been more than wet when he had gone down on you before, but now you were positively drenched with arousal, and Loki loved that about you. He’d never been so hard in his life, precum dripping onto your belly from the head of his glistening cock as the musk of sex filled the room. 

Your head tilted back into the pillow and your thighs trembled violently, supported only by your tiptoes and your upper back as another orgasm ripped through you. Loki cupped your other breast, his thumb circling its nipple as he sucked even harder on the first, trying desperately to hold back his own ecstasy until he was buried deep inside you. 

But that battle was becoming more and more difficult to win, and his equanimity was dissipating with each and every one of your breathless moans and whimpers. Loki moved his hands to carefully guide your feet flat, and then massaged your calves and thighs into relaxing as he carefully pulled his lips away from your nipple. 

As he moved closer, your hands shifted to cling to his neck, his shoulders, his arms. Anything you could read, everything about him that was solid and real. He wanted so badly to assure you that he was, to shout it from the rooftops that he wasn’t just real, that he was - in fact - yours, and that was the only real thing that mattered. 

Loki’s lips were on your collarbone when he finally coaxed your legs into position, relaxed but open for him. You were making unintelligible noises and your body continued trembling, but your hips kept rolling as he slowly settled his weight onto you and pressed his hips against yours. 

“Loki…oh my, God, Loki…” you gasped breathlessly, sliding your hands up along his neck to his hair, to tangle in the mess of matted and sweaty curls against his scalp. 

His breath shuddered as he gazed upon you, eyelids fluttering open and shut, and pupils dilated so wide to take him all in. His lips hovered just a touch above yours, inhaling as you exhaled, leaning in as you pulled him closer. He wasn’t running or cowering away, there was no fleeing or escaping. For the first time since the Tesseract had slid to his feet in the lobby of Stark Tower, Loki was exactly where he wanted to be. 

“Yes, my darling…I’m here, just breathe…” he whispered, dragging his nose along the edge of yours. His voice shifted into a groan as you wrapped your legs around his waist; the soft skin of your thighs burned against him, branding a reminder into his flesh that this was where he belonged, and the soaked heat between your legs beckoned him back home. 

The two of you were as naked as the day you were born - one born on Earth, and one born on Jotunheim. Dark green and satin sheets lay beneath you, twisted and tangled upon your bed. The air inside your room was almost overwhelming, a delicious mixture of heat and musk, and despite the very early morning hour, the city of London still bustled just outside your window, cruelly unaware of the magic that was about to happen above them. 

Your lips met again, and even though the kiss was just as hungry as that night in the alleyway, there was something else now with it - a touch of familiarity, of knowing and acceptance even though it couldn’t really be - not with all the lies he’d been telling, and the truth he’d been withholding. Loki kissed you harder, trying to push those thoughts out of his brain, and you happily reciprocated. 

As you introduced your tongue to the kiss, Loki cupped the back of your skull with one hand, and brought the other between your hips as he began to rock against you, dragging himself against your entrance and teasing you both into oblivion. Neither of you needed any further teasing, but he did it anyway, just to add the final touch of urgency. You whimpered and opened your hips even further, and on the next push, he was inside you again. 

Suddenly, everything made perfect sense as the entire universe opened up before him. Loki let out the hoarsest of groans as he pushed deeper, and your lower back arched even more beneath him. Your fingers curled even tighter around his hair, your lips fell from his to moan his name again, and you were so wet and warm and safe that he felt like nothing could ever hurt him again. 

All he ever wanted was to feel like this, and he slowly pulled himself out, just short of all the way, before sinking himself back inside. Your hips writhed uncontrollably as he did that a few more times, and Loki realized that you also needed the reminder that even if he pulled away or left completely, he would always come back to you. That he would never not be thinking of you, or of this. 

Loki was already ruined before he began thrusting even faster, and there was absolutely nothing that could have ever stopped him. He buried his face against your neck and arched his back more harshly, pulling all the way out before pumping back inside. Your muscles squeezed around him, and your voice was nothing but breathless and incoherent gasps and moans as you took him in over and over again. 

He snaked one arm around your back and the other around your waist as he moved faster, grunting and groaning against your skin as your fingertips scratched at his scalp. His muscles tensed as yours did, and he could tell by the sound of your voice that you were getting close already. His own orgasm was just seconds away, coiling around in his belly, stretching and yearning to break free as he drove himself harder, faster, deeper. 

The tension broke simultaneously, and you cried out together, curling tightly around each other’s bodies, clinging for dear life as you came together. Endorphins and hormones coursed through Loki’s veins as the universe came into being, with stars exploding and dust swirling to form the galaxies and planets and realms that could stretch longer and further than anyone would ever know. 

You clung so tightly to him during it all, as if you could see what he saw, but somehow he was the only thing that mattered. How could that be, that while an entire universe was being born, that the goddess of a mortal underneath could only look up at him? 

Loki didn’t understand it one bit, but he didn’t need to, because all he could feel and see and smell was you. His hips continued rocking, shallower now that he was absolutely spent, and his sighs were heavy in the crook of your neck. He was in total and complete bliss when you let out a choked sob against his ear, and it instantly brought him back to reality. 

“Darling…darling, what’s wrong?” he murmured, kissing your neck and squeezing you tighter. Had he done something wrong? Had he unintentionally hurt you in some way while lost in his own pleasure? 

He could feel you shake your head, even as another sob escaped you. He could feel the tears streaming down your face and coating his own cheek, but your limbs still wrapped harder around him. Slowly, Loki lifted his head even though he was terrified of what he might see upon your face. His heavy eyelids fluttered open, his blurred vision effortlessly obscuring the tangled limbs and sweaty skin you both shared. 

But when your face finally came into view, there was a smile beneath the tears on your cheeks. Your messy hair framed your face like an untidy halo - disconnected from, but still beautiful and fitting for the angel who wore it. Loki would never forget that smile and its tears, so happy and yet so sad all at the same time. 

“I don’t know why, Loki…but I’ll be fine, I promise…” you answered in a voice that was so floating and breathless and light.

He could tell you meant it, and it should have reassured him, but it didn’t. The image of that newspaper from 1983 suddenly flashed before his eyes, and Loki remembered the initial reason he had come home with you last night. 

⊱ ── ༓ ── ⋅•⋅⊰ ── ⋅ ∙ ∘ ☽ ༓ ☾ ∘ ∙ ⋅ ── ⊱⋅•⋅ ── ༓ ── ⊰

Date : June 27th, 1977 [Sacred Timeline]

Loki wasn’t exactly sure what he was searching for, but that wasn’t going to stop him from trying. 

The sun was just beginning to encroach over the horizon, sending its rays over the city and into the bay windows of your high-rise flat. He padded cautiously into your living room, thankful for the plush white carpets between his toes to mute his exhausted steps. 

There was nothing he wanted more than to slip back into bed with you and sleep the day away, but he had to take this opportunity while he still had the chance. 

Loki could still see you, sleeping soundly in the arms of the duplicate he’d casted so as to not rouse any suspicion while he snooped. It felt so wrong to be doing this now, so soon after the night you’d just shared together, but the guilt of your future was driving him forward, egging him on and eating him away so badly he wouldn’t be able to have another decent rest even if he tried. 

And it was odd, feeling jealous of something he’d conjured to keep you distracted, and in bed. It was, technically-speaking, him…but it wasn’t him- and he was the one who desperately needed the rest. Loki hadn’t had a good night’s sleep since well before Thanos’ capture, since he had lived in the palace on Asgard, and he had no idea when he’d be able to have it again…

Nevertheless, Loki shook his head and rolled it back and forth between his shoulders. His joints popped and cracked as he stretched his arms up over head, extending and pulling and desperately willing his limbs to fully awaken for the task at hand. He opened his eyes wider to take in more light, and he filled his lungs with as much oxygen as he could muster, held it for as long as he could, and released it slowly through his nose. 

If anyone else could see him, they’d say he was stalling. Deception ordinarily came easy to him - Odin had taken advantage of that many times - but this was different; in fact, this was much, much worse. And he knew he wasn’t going to like what he found, but it needed to be seen anyway. He had to know if he was the cause of your future addiction, or if had already started before you’d even met. 

Loki began his search in the kitchen, opening up the cupboards and pantries, quietly sliding items aside so he could see any possible illicit substances hidden in the back. He checked on top of the refrigerator and deep inside the freezer for excessive quantities of alcohol. He even looked through the drawers of silverware and utensils, the mail on top of the counter, the pockets of your coats hung by the front door for something, anything, that hinted at your painful future. 

But he found nothing, just like he was afraid of. And it wasn’t because he wanted you to have an addiction, to be suffering silently and hiding your pain away from the world - he didn’t want that to happen to you at all, ever. But the more he searched, the more it became apparent that he would be the eventual cause of it. 

And if he did manage to find something, he could offer you the help you needed. He could take care of you, instead of hurting you. He could be of use for something good, instead of the destruction he normally was. 

From the kitchen, he returned to the living room, shoving his hands between the couch cushions and underneath the sofas. He flipped through the magazines stacked on the coffee table, and pulled the books off the bookshelves. All the while, trying so hard not to think about how he was going to eventually make addiction a reality for you. 

Loki could tell you were eager to learn more about him, to know him more than just as a man who kept you company at night, and it was getting harder to dodge your questions. He knew you would have more when you awoke, and it wasn’t that you didn’t deserve to hear the answers, because of course you did. You deserved everything happy and safe and beautiful there could ever be, and Loki truly wanted to be the one to give all of that to you. 

But Loki didn’t know what to tell you, because that had never been the truth of his reality. So what was he supposed to tell you? That he was the monster that parents told their children about at night? 

That he’s an alien being from another realm, who could travel through time and space? That there were different versions of every single person living within multiple universes, and that in 35 years his past self would try to lead an alien army to violently take over New York City? 

At best, you wouldn’t believe him at all, and at worse, you’d absolutely hate him for it…even if doing that is exactly what brought him to you in the first place. 

After the last book was slid back into place, Loki sighed and turned his attention to the living room as a whole. Everything was clean and organized, everything had a specific place to be and was already there, and absolutely nothing was amiss. Nothing and everything was wrong, all at the same time, and the realization almost brought him to his knees. 

Loki was going to ruin your life eventually; the only question now was how he was going to do it, and when he was going to hammer that final nail inside your coffin. Was it going to be as soon as you woke up? Was it going to be because he finally told you the truth? 

His fingers pressed into his eye sockets as he collapsed onto the sofa, rubbing away furiously as he pondered his options. Truthfully speaking, how much time did you two have left together? The Loom was still on the verge of total destruction back at the TVA; his friends were back there right now, working tirelessly on a solution while he selfishly snuck away to see you again. To coddle his own emotions and guilt, when none of that would matter if they were unable to save the timelines at all. 

And what was he supposed to do if they managed to prevent the Loom’s destruction? Keep sneaking away to come see you like a long-distance lover? Make up a pretend job for himself, never tell you the truth, and force you to perpetually linger in the liminal space between his crafted persona and who he actually was? 

Not even he could keep a lie that massive forever. You would eventually discover the truth, or perhaps you would realize that there even was a truth different from the one he was selling you. Maybe what the truth was actually didn’t matter; maybe what mattered was that you couldn’t keep living a lie, and that was all it took to break you. 

Loki leaned forward on the sofa, his elbows digging into his knees while dragging his fingertips down his cheeks and over his mouth. His palms pressed together in a silent prayer as his eyes roamed over the room. His eyes filled with tears as he realized this would have to be the last time he ever looked upon it. He would have to leave you, before either of you fell too hard - and maybe, just maybe, that would be enough to save you more than it would destroy him. 

His expression was solemn as he stood back up from the sofa. He hoped he’d been overthinking your expression in the alleyway a week ago, in the club the night before, in your bed as you’d come together. His heart broke as he prayed that you didn’t actually care about him as much as he already cared about you, that this would actually be easy for you. That you still had the strength to pick up the pieces and carry on with your life. 

As Loki turned to leave the living room, to start the long journey back to your bedroom and kiss you goodbye, his eyes caught the painting above your dining room table. His frown shifted into a smile, although his eyes were as distraught and disillusioned as ever. He stepped closer and pressed his fingertips across the frame, thinking about all the stories this single painting told. 

You were so unbelievably talented; every brush stroke had been as carefully placed as the belongings inside your flat. How he wished he could see this tree that you loved so much, and how he longed to feel the same kind of permanent comfort that it seemed to bring you even now. He’d never felt such everlasting solace in his entire life, and he’d even happily settle for being able to provide that kind of love for you some day. 

But it just wasn’t meant to be. And for now, all Loki could hope for was that your father or your friends could help you still move on. 

He reluctantly pulled away and returned down the hallway, training his eyes straight ahead to avoid the beautiful and happy photographs plastered all over the walls. He tried desperately not to look at the candelabrum on the narrow bookshelf. But of course, the morning light caught it, reflecting off the polished brass and right into his anguished gaze. 

Loki couldn’t help but pause in front of it, right outside the doorway to your bedroom. He could hear you breathing in your bed, slowly and peacefully, in the arms of his duplicate. You were so close, and yet so far, because he couldn’t tear himself away from the hall and its haunted reminder of his past life. 

He’d seen that candelabrum before, but he didn’t know how it had found its way here. Surely, it had to be a coincidence, right? That the asymmetrically curved pieces swung upright to form the horns of the golden headpiece he used to wear before the TVA had taken him away? 

Devil’s horns, the enemies of Asgard used to call them. The Dökkláfar of Alfheim had considered them omens of death, but it wasn’t in the same way they had feared Odin’s power, or his brother’s hammer. Those items could always be seen before striking down their enemies; their power was out in the open, demanding to be witnessed, and punishing for their disobedience to the throne. 

But by the time an enemy ever saw Loki’s horns, it was already too late. The damage was already done, secretly in the shadows and hidden upon layers and layers of deceptions and lies. His enemies were already dead by the time Loki finally revealed himself and his Devil’s horns, and their last few seconds were usually spent wondering which trick it was that struck the final blow. 

So what were they doing here, in this young woman’s flat? In London, in 1977, where he’d never been before and surely would never return to again? Surely there was no way you knew what they actually represented. No, it had to just be an unhappy coincidence. 

Back on Asgard, Loki had been repeatedly regulated to operating within the shadows. In his younger years, he had believed it was simply because that was where he excelled. But then he knew better; he knew that Odin had kept him in the shadows intentionally, that he was fit to exist in the light. And now, he was being forced to recede into the shadows yet again, to be nothing but a hopefully wistful and fond memory of yours. 

He had only just found you. He had only just come to know the caring touch of peace, and already he was having to give it back up. 

Another tear rolled down Loki’s cheek, and he quickly wiped it away. He let out a sharp breath, steeled his jaw, and stepped back inside your bedroom, not at all ready to do the hardest thing he’d ever had to do. 

⊱ ── ༓ ── ⋅•⋅⊰ ──  ⋅ ∙ ∘ ☽ ༓ ☾ ∘ ∙ ⋅  ── ⊱⋅•⋅ ── ༓ ── ⊰

Previous Chapter / AO3 Link / Against All Odds Masterlist / Next Chapter

[salvadorbonaparte]

2024 in Films - Part III

I watched a lot of stuff again, some even for grad school.

August

Lola Rennt (1998) - banger soundtrack and editing

Vertigo (1958) - the most boring of the Hitchcock films I've seen so far

A League of Their Own (1992) - makes me want to watch baseball

White Men Can't Jump (1992) - did not expect jeopardy to be so important in this film, also loved the fashion

The Fall Guy (2024) - my mum loves the original series so we had to watch this and I had an amazing time

Blinded by the Light (2019) - the dialogue is strange at times but a banger soundtrack (obviously) and some amazing editing, very uplifting and I watched this on my flight to the US btw

Good Will Hunting (1997) - I watched this during my first week in Massachusetts before starting grad school here

Alien3 (1992) - this film says so much about gender, actually

Deaf Smith & Johnny Ears (1973) - taking lots of liberties with Texan history and also surprising homoerotic subtext

September

Causeway (2022) - a film that I originally only found meh but then kept thinking about all the time

Nosferatu the Vampyre (1979) - equally blood libel as the og with an added bonus of cycle of violence, might write an essay about this

Sleepaway Camp (1983) - another horror film that says so much about gender and I could write an entire essay about it

My Best Fiend (1999) - Werner Herzog must be studied under a microscope

We're All Going to the World's Fair (2021) - not as good as I saw the tv glow imo but asking some important questions about online communities and reality

Jacob the Liar (1974) - the film felt a little too empty but I also don't want to say something negative because I am still angry about a bad review I saw

Chris Grace: As Scarlett Johansson (2024) - absolutely transformed the way I think about stand up comedy

All Quiet on the Western Front (1930) - the old lie dulce et decorum est pro patria mori

The Shock (1923) - as ableist and racist as you expect from the 20s but with a great performance from Lon Chaney

Trap (2024) - I actually really enjoyed this, even though I was waiting for an even crazier plot twist

Don't Think I've Forgotten: Cambodia's Lost Rock and Roll (2014) - a documentary that nearly made me cry

Hudson Hawk (1991) - technically a rewatch but I need to speak my truth and it's that I like this film

All Quiet on the Western Front (2022) - I have so many issues that this would take an entire post or even conference paper

The Russians Are Coming! The Russians are Coming! (1966) - had me in stitches half the time, I love a good cold war comedy

The Bone Collector (1999) - spooky!

Monkey Shines (1988) - also horror and gender but also silly

Death in Venice (1971) - boring :/

October

UPSIDEdown (2013) - I watched this one twice, once with the director, also had lunch and coffee with him, I had an issue at first with how child protection service is portrayed but that part is apparently real, also he cast a neurodivergent kid, which is awesome

The Master (2012) - I love when men are also poorly trained attack dogs, also can you imagine sending that guy to the cult from Midsommar? Also still haunted by Philip Seymour Hoffman

Like Stars on Earth (2007) - neurodivergent kids need neurodivergent role models!!!

The Lost Honor of Katharina Blum (1975) - I have so much to say about this tbh

Farewell Disco (1990) - at first I found this kinda boring but then I was also enchanted by the inclusion of Sorbian culture

The Kangaroo Conspiracy (2022) - just read the books

November

Srikanth (2024) - fairly standard biopic, meanders a bit but solid soundtrack and performance

Innocent Witness (2019) - this one impressed me so much I recommended it to multiple people, also I'm an autistic person who is besties with my lawyer so bonus points for that, I could talk a lot about this too

Hunt (2022) - Probably less confusing if you know more about Korean history, fun plot twist and imo some homoerotic tension

Scarlett Innocence (2014) - tbh I didn't even watch the whole thing because I don't go for erotic thrillers, I just watched the scenes where Jung Woo Sung is a poor little meow meow

Inseperable Bros (2019) - some dialogue was a bit awkward but that might have been the translation, I like that this was about interabled platonic relationships

Remember You (2016) - the first plot twist is predictable as hell but the second one hit me in the face like a brick

The Childe (2023) - Kim Seon-ho has the range (creepy and babygirl) (covered in blood and coughing up blood)

The Good The Bad The Weird (2008) - not only the best western I've ever seen but also one of the best films I've seen this year at all

Sympathy for Mr Vengeance (2002) - very unsatisfying, but in a good way

As We Were Dreaming (2015) - the German answer to banlieu films, a film about the reunification of Germany from a different perspective than you're used to, despite living decades later and in the west I feel like I know these characters

Transit (2018) - the anti Casablanca, a double exposed picture of past and present, a Kafkaesque limbo of bureaucracy and loss of identity

Berlin Alexanderplatz (2020) - long, confusing, too smart for me and I still couldn't stop watching it. There's something very queer about this film too.

Wicked (2024) - I haven't seen the musical but went to see the film with my friend (and her family) and physically went 👀 to her every time something gay happened. I'm sorry I doubted you Ariana Grande.

December

Fly Me to the Moon (2024) - I watched this on a terrible transatlantic red eye flight and it entertained me. Unique concept but predictable execution

Debbie Macomber's Dashing Through the Snow (2015) - shout out to the Jewish biker guy handing out free puppies

Round and Round (2023) - Actually a really fun Hallmark holiday film?? And a nice twist on the time loop genre??

Wicked Little Letters (2023) - Very fun to watch on new years eve while tipsy

[gearbooster]

Fairy Tail Cosmic Dragon

Lucy was sitting enjoying some quiet after kicking Natsu and Happy out of her apartment for the hundred times. She locked her door and window and finally sat down to eat dinner. She took a few sighs then smiled knowing that even if they can drive her crazy sometimes she wouldn't want her life to be any different. She eats her light meat she prepared and is humming to herself. Once she was done eating she did the dishes and cleaned up after herself. Once everything was done she was getting ready for bed. Once she changed into her pajamas a belting blinding light begin to shine in the middle of her room blinding her so she had no idea what is happening. What is going on here? She called out in an annoyed tone. Once the light subsided she rubbed her eyes trying to stop the flashes still going off in her eyes. Once Lucy was able to see again she saw what seems to be a giant egg in the middle of her room.

The egg was nothing like she had seen before it was massive and star like energy was surrounding it. Lucy went over to gently touch the egg not feeling any hostility from it and her genuine curiosity got the better of her. She runs her fingers across the strange eggs shell to feel scale like bumps on it even though the shells appearance seems to be smooth. What a strange egg but what is it doing here and why in my room of all places. I mean it looks pretty with all the stars and everything on its shell but what am I supposed to do with it? She pondered what to do with it and as she was looking at it the stars on its shell began to fade and the egg began to feel cold. Oh no I need to keep it warm I suppose. Without much thinking she took the massive egg into her bed and she cuddled with it under her covers to keep it warm. I suppose I will figure out who you are and why you are here tomorrow. Goodnight star egg. She falls into a deep sleep with a soft smile on her face. The stars on the egg regain their shine as Lucy's warm body warms up the egg.

The next morning.

Natsu trying his best to get into her place through the window but no luck since it's locked tightly. He decided to go through the front door but that didn't work so he went down the chimney when he got in he was covered in soot looking like a robber. Lucy woke up to the sound of him landing in her apartment through the chimney and she couldn't recognize him covered in soot and being half asleep. She threw the night lap from the nightstand next to her bed right into his face. Natsu grunted as the lamp broke in his face. Lucy it's me Natsu stop throwing stuff at me. Natsu damn it I almost had a heart attack because of you. Natsu brushed the soot off his face. Sorry I wasn't planning to do this first thing in the morning but you locked me out. Lucy still cuddles her strange egg protectively. What I was supposed to do I wanted to get some sleep and you wouldn't even let me have dinner in peace. So I had to lock you out, now clean yourself up then clean up the soot you draged into my apartment. Natsu looked at his feet and saw the soot around him. Sorry again about that I will clean this up. Bye the way what's with that shiny dragon egg? Lucy's eyebrows raise. Dragon egg how do you know it's a dragon egg, you literally mistook an exceed egg for a dragon egg. Natsu rolls his eyes. Yeah maybe but that egg is definitely a dragon egg it has the same magic energy as a dragon. Where did you get it from and why is it covered in star's? Lucy stroking the egg in a caring and protective manner. It appeared in my room last night and I have no idea what I should do with it. I just know that I need to keep it warm because if I don't the stars on it will fade what seems to be a sign that it's getting cold. Natsu looks at the egg then Lucy with his dorky smile. Well it seems that it likes you so it's your responsibility now. Lucy smiles at the egg. I guess since it came to me it has to be me that looks after it until it hatches. Natsu went to take a shower to clean himself off while Lucy wrapped up the egg in a warm blanket and made a harness for it so she can carry it on her back.

To Be Continued

[sinsmockingbird]

NOTE: Okay, I'm here to show off/talk about my Genshin Impact persona/oc. If you aren't interested, you can ignore this, but otherwise, enjoy my baby girl.

NAME: Honestly, I haven't thought of one yet, so I'm just using Bri as a placeholder.

QUALITY: 4 Stars

WEAPON: Polearm

VISION: Cryo

BACKSTORY/VISION: Bri was born in Mondstadt before her family (including her) moved to Inazuma. She comes from a long line of kitsunes, but currently, in the line, she isn't a full blooded one. She has the ears and a single tail but can't shift into a fox form. She's partially/almost fully blind in her left eye, which had begun to fog as the blindness becomes more apparent the older she gets.

Bri earned her vision in a similar way to how Kaeya earned his. Betrayal. When she was 18 years old, she was in a one-sided relationship (not that she knew that as her 'partner' always acted like they loved her), when a huge altercation happened between them both. She learned her partner was seeing someone else and actually never loved her. Bri's anger quickly became apparent as she felt hurt by this new information.

A screaming match started between the both of them before something happened, and Bri was struck with a weapon. Lying on the ground with blood pouring down her face, her now ex-partner fled the scene, leaving her distraught. She was overcome with a wave of betrayal that morphed itself into elemental energy. In a large explosion, ice seemed to be unleashed from inside her chest.

Overcome with shock at the sudden ice surrounding her, it was then that Bri noticed a shining vision lying in the grass right in front of her. The altercation left her with a vision and a grisly scar covering her left eye, which is slowly leaving her more and more blind in that eye.

NOTES:

1.) Bri's current best friend is Heizou, as the two of them bonded over Heizou's detective work. She's a huge lover of stuff like that.

2.) Bri is literally just the puppy and lover of all the Inazuma women, including Beidou whenever she comes to visit. Though she does have the closest relationship with Ei (or Raiden Shogun) plus Mavuika (who has recently taken an interest in the Electro Archon's lover).

3.) Bri loves to be petted and cuddled. She really is just a puppy dog who craves closeness and intimacy due to the numerous betrayals she's had in her life. Basically, she's touch starved.

4.) Girl kinda has daddy issues.... like me.

[void-kill]

short story meow

WARNING: 1.3k WORDS !!!!!! DONT OPEN UNLESS YOU WANT TO READ IT!!!!!

tw for death

I don’t remember how I died. I remember the morgue, the funeral home, the funeral. I remember the casket closing and getting lowered into the dirt; but I can’t remember dying. It’s all I've thought about, all I've thought about since I got here. There's not much else to think about when you're six feet down and seven months dead.

I move my hand to my face, softly tracing my wounds; covered by copious amounts of makeup. I was a mess to clean up. Or at least I think I was, I don't really know how long it takes a funeral home to prepare a body for a funeral. I've never been too knowledgeable on that kind of stuff. I don't have a mirror down here, but I have a feeling that I've smudged any and all makeup on my face right now. I’m not worried though, there isn't really anyone to impress down here.

I used to think that once I died, I would be happy but… I miss so many things. I miss getting up in the morning, spending way too long getting ready. I miss my friends. I miss the things that I used to hate, like cleaning my room or when my cat wouldn't leave me alone in the mornings, sitting on my blankets to keep me from getting out of bed. I miss it all. I miss having people to impress.

I press my hands to the casket lid, like I've done a million times since I was buried. I keep hoping that it will open up, let me out. But it never happens. Caskets get locked, trapping the person within. Besides, even if they forgot to lock my casket, I'm beneath multiple feet of dirt. There's no way I'd ever be strong enough to lift that.

Suddenly, I hear something hit the lid of the casket. I think nothing of it, but it happens again. And again. It hits me, this isn't a hallucination. The sound comes a couple more times, until.. it stops. It stops for what I think is ten minutes, and my hope dissipates. Thoughts race through my head, what was that? Who was that? Am I in danger? I'm so caught up in my own thoughts, I don't even hear the struggle at my feet.

A bright light shines onto my body, brighter than anything I've seen in the last couple months… the Moon. The night sky was blinding. There are no stars, only a crescent moon, but it’s so beautiful that I wish I could cry. It's the most I've seen in months. I lay, with my arms crossed over, as someone stands above me.

They're wearing all black, with a mask over the lower half of their face and a hood obscuring the rest. The person kneels down, careful to keep their knees on the sides of the casket. I see their eyes now, and they look... Familiar. Keeping their balance, they reach down and grab me by the shoulders. Tears pool in their eyes, and they pull me upright and hold me in their arms.

They hold me for hours, or minutes. I hope it was hours. They hold me as they sob and wail, crying about how much they’ve missed me. They cry as they carry me out of my casket, as if I was a small child getting carried to bed after falling asleep in the car. They set me down, sitting me up against the headstone opposite to mine. It's bright enough for me to read my own headstone, as they refill the now-empty hole with dirt and shaky breathing.

Andria Monroe 24/10/06 - 12/5/22 “You find God in pain”

The Moon sets, and the sky lightens as they shovel dirt back into the ground. I’ve been staring at the trees, the bushes and shrubs, and the flowers. I didn't realize how beautiful they really were. As the sun rises, the shoveling slows down. With heavy breathing, they walk over to where they sat me and sit down.

They sit, with their arms on their knees and resting their head on my shoulder. They lower their mask to breathe, gasping for air. Oh god, I wish I could pull her into a hug. It was my best friend, Mikey. She has darker circles under her eyes and greasier hair, but it’s her. Her hair fell down to frame her face as she took it out of a ponytail. Her face shined with sweat against the morning sun, and she looked more beautiful than ever.

We sat there, until her breathing calmed down. She was picking the dirt out from under her fingernails, and brushing the dust off of her jeans. She got up, picking me up by my waist and carefully throwing me over her shoulder. With one arm around me, she grabbed the shovel before walking off into the forest. Next thing I know, I wake up. Golden rays of sunlight split through the grids of the window, and I'm laying on a table in the middle of the room. Tiredly, I sat up like I've done thousands of times before. Then I realize, I’m breathing. I sit quietly, with my hand over my chest as I feel it rise and fall, and rise and fall. I’m… alive. A smile breaks out on my face. I’m finally free. Apprehensively, I slowly edge myself off of the table. My feet hit the floor. My legs are shaky, and my knees are starting to buckle, but I'm standing. Gripping to the edge of the table, I take a shaky step. And then another. It's the most active I've been in months. I make my way towards the door, twist the handle, and pull it open. Leaning against the wall for balance, I walk out to a living room. Mikey is sitting on the couch, and is staring absent-mindedly at the TV with her back turned from where I am. I talk, clearing my throat. “Hey,” I say quietly. She turns around quickly, standing up. “Oh my god you're awake!” She says, running towards me to pull me into a hug, nearly tripping over furniture. “How long have I been asleep for?” I ask, resting my chin on her shoulder once she’s close. “It doesn't matter how long you were sleeping. It just matters that you’re up now. I missed you so much.” Mikey says, before pulling away slightly. “Are you okay? You feel fine, right?” She asked, using one of her hands to cup my face. “This sounds strange, but it feels kind of weird to breathe now? It’s like I'm more aware of everything that’s supposed to be involuntary. Also, everything is VERY bright.” I reply, grinning. “Just hold on, I have a pair of sunglasses somewhere on the coffee table. You might want to sit down, it's gonna take a minute for me to find them.” she suggests, pulling away entirely as she leads me to the couch.

With shaky steps; I make my way to the couch and sit down. Mikey finds the sunglasses and slides them onto my face for me, before sitting down next to me. She leans her head onto my shoulder like she did at the cemetery. We sit there, pretending like we’re watching the movie, but really I think we’re just enjoying each other's touch.

I think this is the most at-peace I've ever been. The sunrise is amazing, I’m hanging on a couch with my best friend. The light shining through the window is making everything all orange and pink tinted. My heart is beating, and everything is beautiful again. Totally back in love. A new movie starts on the TV, Spirited Away. It's one of my favorites. 

I don't care how I died anymore. I'm just happy I'm alive again.