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imagowrites · 1 year ago

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Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales; Why It Shouldn’t Exist

Or how I invested time and energy into an analysis of a relatively dead franchise instead of doing it for my actual media analysis university course.

An essay by: a bitter and obsessed PotC fan since they were 7, with a lot of free time.

Lads, this is going to be long. You have been warned.

The Beginning

At the very beginning of the movie, we see a young Henry Turner looking for his dad.

Now, we're not talking about characterization problems or how likely it is that a ten-year-old child would risk his life to look for a man he technically only saw once; we're talking about plot problems, actual logical fallacies. My questions are:

How? The Flying Dutchman is a legendary ship, impossible to be found unless She wants to be found. The only reason we see Her in Dead Man's Chest is because Davy Jones himself is looking for Jack to collect his debt, and in that occasion the Dutchman's captain wasn't even doing what he was supposed to do, so he was most definitely in the living world. Will otherwise, he's doing the job Calypso gave him, so he's constantly in between. Is the movie trying to convince me that a kid was able to do something no one in the history of piracy was ever able to do? And even if he did, why hasn't anyone explained me how? He simply looks at a map and throws himself on the bottom of the ocean. How did he know The Dutchman was there? How did he know it would've come to surface?

Where is his mom? We got to know Elizabeth in the first three movies; we know she's a smart woman and we can assume she's an attentive mother. She didn't notice her son preparing himself for a trip in the middle of the ocean to go look for his dad? Was she distracted? Was she outsmarted by a 10ish-year-old? Or is she just not contemplated in this scenario?

Why does Will look like that? Will is doing his job, so... why does he look like he's slowly corrupting? That kind of corruption is the punishment Calypso reserves to The Dutchman's crew when the captain fails her, which isn't the case. Did they forget about it? Was the idea of putting algae on Orlando Bloom's face just impossible to resist to?

Alright, this isn't actually from this movie but it's bothering me, so I have to write it; also, it would make this whole movie unnecessary, so it's somehow related to it. Why (and I can't stress this enough) can't Elizabeth be on the Dutchman? Why can't they do the job together? Is it because she's not a pirate? I'm pretty sure se actually is. Is it because she's a woman? Last time I checked she was the KING. She wants to stay with Will forever, Will wants to stay with her forever, they can literally live forever on the same ship. Why aren't they?

Whatever the Hell Happened to Jack Sparrow

Imagine creating a character that is so iconic whenever you ask a person who was a kid in the early 2000 to imagine a pirate, they imagine said character.

Now imagine fourteen years pass and you decide to ruin that character by making him the most hideous, annoying, idiotic person in the whole saga, and we're talking about a saga that has Philip the Missionary in it. Why? Jack Sparrow is THE anti-hero. Never on the right side, but never on the wrong one. You can tell he's doing something morally questionable, but you still find yourself rooting for him. He's stupid enough to make you laugh, but he's secretly clever enough to always get away with it. Now he's just... drunk. And that's not even an excuse for this horrendous new characterization, because he was always drunk. The guy FORGOT HE WAS ROBBING A BANK, the same guy just one movie earlier was able to escape from the King of England's palace and steal a lady's earring (by pretending to be a literal slut) in the process. He just switched from the iconic drunk bi bestie everyone loves to my cringe uncle that drinks too much at Christmas parties and makes everyone uncomfortable. Please, if the risk is ruining an entire generation's beloved character, either don't make the movie or find a better explanation than "Bad luck dogs you day and night".

The Pearl in The Bottle

So... what you're telling me is that Jack Sparrow, the guy who was able to defeat Hector Barbossa, Davy Jones and Blackbeard thanks to his slyness, and who loves his Black Pearl more than anything else in the world, had said ship in a bottle in his pockets for FIVE YEARS... and he never thought about breaking the bottle to free Her. That's what you're telling me. This is the pivotal point upon which the entire Jack's plot hinges. I... I don't even know what to say. Was this supposed to be funny?

What an Incredibly Lucky Coincidence

A guy needs a treasure to save his father. To find it, he needs the help of a notorious and legendary pirate. He looks for him everywhere, sailing on dozens of ships just so he has the remote chance to stumble across the pirate. The last ship he's been on has sinked, he's the only survivor. He's been found in the middle of the ocean and someone brought him to the nearest city. Which city? I mean, the one that has both the pirate he was looking for and a lady who's the only person in the whole planet who's able to find the treasure he was looking for! And, oh my... he finds the both of them! In that same city! Without even LOOKING FOR THEM! A hell of a coincidence, if you ask me. Also known as lazy writing.

What's Wrong With the Guards?

Now, I know Pirates of the Caribbean isn't exactly known for its accurate historical reconstructions, but why are the guards in this movie acting like they're some sort of hellhounds ready to kill anyone in sight? Even pirates and traitors as Jack and Henry were supposed to stand trial before being sentenced to death. It would've probably been an unjust and barbaric trial, but there should've been one. We literally saw it, in the previous movie. Why's Jack been sentenced to death for simply existing here? He gave pirate vibes and they decided that was enough?

Paul McCartney

This is not an actual point of the analysis, I just wanted to remind people that Paul McCartney is in this movie and that's the only valid reason to watch it.

Salazar

I am confused. Once again, I have questions.

El Matador Del Mar was so good at his job he had almost defeated piracy. "The last ones joined together to try and defeat me". The last what? Pirates? There were no pirates left? This happened when Jack was young, so a lot of time before the first movie, right? Where were, I don't know... Blackbeard? Davy Jones? Barbossa? All the other Pirate Lords? I might be wrong, but I guess Salazar didn't kill them, did he? Why weren't they there during that "last battle" in which "the last ones joined together"?

The Devil's Triangle. I just don't understand what's the logic behind it. So, this is a cursed place. Whoever enters there, can't get out. One would think it means that if you get there, you die; and Salazar does die, but he somehow also becomes a ghost whose only purpose is to find Jack Sparrow and have his revenge. So, do people become ghosts when they get in The Devil's Triangle? We have to assume people have gotten stuck in there before; otherwise, there wouldn't be legends around the place. So why isn't it like full of spirits ready to haunt people? Why are Salazar and his crew the only ones?

Poseidon or Calypso?

What's the Trident of Poseidon? Does Poseidon exist? Isn't Calypso the Goddess of the sea? Breaking the Trident, you break all the curses of the sea, so the Trident must be more powerful than Calypso, which leads to a question. Where is she? She IS the sea, right? So she must have known someone was about to find the Trident and brake all curses, including her one. She just decided it was okay? It really feels like someone decided to suddenly change the world's mythology without giving explanations.

The Compass

This is possibly the most blatant plot hole in the whole saga. Probably the most blatant plot hole I've ever witnessed, and man, I watched all the Harry Potter movies. In Dead Man's Chest, Jack meets Tia Dalma in her "shop" and he tells her he's looking for the Davy Jones' key. She asks him "The compass you bartered from me, it cannot lead you to this?", making another pivotal point of Dead Men Tell No Tales factually senseless.

That man couldn't have given his compass to Jack, because that wasn't his compass.

So either Salazar is lying while telling his tale or they forgot about that line in the second movie. Anyway, let's pretend that line doesn't exist; even if that captain gave Jack his compass in that exact moment, why would it be the key to free Salazar, exactly? How is the compass in any way related to The Devil's Triangle or to Salazar? In the movie, they try to explain it with a sentence: “if you betray it, your greatest fear comes true”. So, is Salazar Jack's greatest fear? I really doesn't seem right, Jack almost didn't remember Salazar when Henry mentioned him. To Jack, he's only a guy he outsmarted decades earlier. Also, Jack technically already gave the compass away, twice: to Elizabeth in Dead Man's Chest, to make her find the chest, and to Beckett in At World's End, when they're negotiating.

That's... That's Just Body Shaming, Mate

Let's talk about her. So, the woman's ugly. It can happen that a woman is ugly. Was it necessary to build an entire scene around some blatant body shaming? This scene wants to mimic the similar scene in Dead Man's Chest: Jack's on an island, running from the main villain, and he's forced to do things he doesn't want to do until someone saves him, then it was Will, now it's Hector.

Except in Dead Man's Chest it was LITERAL CANNIBALISM he was facing, and yet he looked LESS TERRIFIED and DISGUSTED. What's exactly the message here? Lads, is marrying an ugly woman worse than cannibalism? I don't know... that was just bad.

Justice for Hector Barbossa

If you know me (you probably don't, but if you do) then you know about my obsession with Hector Barbossa. I truly believe he's the best written character in the saga, and he's in my top five of the characters I love the most in all media. I watched The Curse of the Black Pearl when I was seven and I am autistic, so I had all the time to develop a literal relationship with these characters in my head. As much as Geoffrey Rush's interpretation was impeccable, as always, it really hurt to watch Hector in this movie. He just doesn't sound like him. First of all, why isn't he on the Queen Anne's Revenge? Why's he letting someone else sail around on his ships? He would've never. Why's he just sitting on a throne and shooting musicians instead of, I don't know... being a pirate? Being a pirate is the only thing that matters to him. He says it at the end of On Stranger Tides, and he even says it in this movie, to the witch. "I'm a pirate. Always will be".

So, why isn't he pirating? What happened to him? And what about the pact with the witch? He made her curse all his enemies; that's honestly the most out-of-character thing he could've done.

Seriously, watch this movie, and then The Curse of the Black Pearl and tell me he sounds like he's the same character. Then there’s his death... was it necessary? And I don't mean if it was necessary to the plot (it wasn't), but the way he died, did it make sense? He takes the sword and sacrifices himself to kill Salazar, but WHY? Salazar was back a mortal. They could've brought him to surface and then shoot him. What was the point of his death, Disney? I will never forgive you.

I would've preferred if they never showed him again. He's alive and living his best life in Tortuga, if you ask me.

How does Carina Smyth exist?

Let's do the maths. Carina Smyth has approximately the same age as Henry Turner, who was born around nine moths after the end of At World's End. At the end of that movie, Barbossa once again stole the Black Pearl (he's iconic we stan a legend), so we have to assume it is during that time (between the At World's End and On Stranger Tides) that he conceives Carina. He stays with this woman during the whole pregnancy, bacause he says he was there when she died. So nine months, at least, right? Except; Jack makes it clear that he and Barbossa met Carina's mom, Margaret, together.

When, exactly, did this happen? It can't be between On Stranger Tides and Dead Men Tell No Tales, because Hector himself says only five years passed between the two, and Carina doesn't look like a five-year-old;

it can't be between At World's End and On Stranger Tides, because we know Jack and Barbossa weren't together, and Hector was too busy losing a leg and planning his revenge by working for the King of England; it can't be during At World's End, because Barbossa was too busy rescuing Jack and then slaying (literally and metaphorically) Beckett's men to save piracy; it can't be during Dead Man's Chest, because he was dead; it can't be during The Curse of the Black Pearl, nor during the ten years before it, because he was... he was a skeleton, I hardly believe he could reproduce, despite what’s written in some fanficions; it can't be before, of course, because Carina would be too old. The only chance, but it's a stretch, is that Hector and Jack met this Margaret Smyth years and years before, and that at a certain point (while he was still busy slaying, losing a leg or planning his revenge), for some reason he decided to come back to her and accidentally had a daughter. That would mean that Jack remembered Margaret Smyth's name DECADES after he met her.

The Post-Credit Scene: What?

WHY'S DAVY JONES BACK? The Trident technically broke all the curses of the sea. He is THE cursed man of the sea. AND HE'S DEAD. The only answer I was able to give me, is that the moment the Trident broke the curses, the curse that said if you stab his heart he dies was also broken, so he technically didn't die, but it makes even less sense, because if the curses just aren't real anymore, then a man shouldn't be able to... carve out his heart and put it in a chest, right? (Which by the way, makes Will Turner being alive senseless as well). Even if so, Davy should've come back as a human.

My conclusion is that this movie should not exist, and we, as a community, should pretend it was never made. Hector is alive. Bye.

Imago

#potc #pirates of the caribbean #potc analysis #dead men tell no tales #analysis #media analysis #pirates #jack sparrow #hector barbossa #carina smyth #henry turner #elizabeth swann #will turner #calypso #davy jones #salazar

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evilminji · 3 months ago

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You know... Qing Jing HAD a previous Peak Lord...

And they, presumably ALSO a Cunning Bastard of a Strategist, Ascended alongside their generation... to GODHOOD.

You know... Divinity. The Heavens. Where all those OTHER Gods live. Who presumably all have Divine Godly Jobs and Responsibilities.

I'm? Just SAYING??? The change over between generations? Is like... the LITERAL once in a lifetime chance? To TALK TO GOD. Pretty much ANY God. You just have to convince your Shizun it's reasonable to pass along.

Will something COME of it? Pppffhhh! NO.

Of course not. Don't be ridiculous, you arrogant, hubris filled brat. The Heavens don't move all willy nilly for YOU, at YOUR command! What are you, insane? No, no. That's not what you can DO. What you can DO? Is REPORT something. And MAYBE, just MAYBE, the Heavens will eventually act on that... once the forms have all been filled out.

However!!!

Let us say~! For example? You are a terrible, terrible Qing Jing Peak Lord! And it is a LOVELY day in Heaven~

You peacefully meander up to you predecessors. Nothing To See Here™. Don't Worry About It™. Maaaaybe some OMENIOUS whispering begins to happen. Who can say! Certainly not your martial siblings! THEY know to keep their *explitive* mouths shut!

Because THAT? Down there?

Is YOUR Cang Qiong Mountain Sect.

No demon, heavenly or otherwise, half breed or otherwise, is touching a SINGLE FUCKING BLADE OF GRASS. You did not give your ENTIRE LIFE in service to that mountain just to watch it BURN. And the Disciple that came to you? Had WAY too many details to have been anything but a glimpse of the future. Well... a POSSIBLE future.

But your(collectively) Peak is not the Strategic Peak for nothing. You make... friends. Mutually beneficial connections to other gods. Learn the Rules, inside and out. Figure out JUST how far you can push your luck. How fast you can ram paperwork through the machine. Who's palms can be greased. What ears are receptive to sweet words.

Most IMPORTANTLY? You have a wonderfully LOYAL and QUITE little worker, down below. A perfect, dusty, little mouse. A flitting little grey-beige sparrow. So utterly FORGETTABLE, isn't she~? You'd almost think it was on purpose.

And, of course, just like real mice? The damage she can do? Quietly and with time? CANNOT be overstated. Chew, chew, chewing away. Destroying plans that haven't even begun yet, by taking out the roots. Getting in position to do so. Preparing all that they'll need.

So that when the time comes? She full on seems to pop out of clear blue NOWHERE.

Just? Smash, grab, and run! One moment the plan is going exactly to plan... the next? Everything is on fire. Your pants are tangled around your ankles from where she just pantsed you, your sword is at the bottom of a lake and-? W-What? Huh?! THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED‽‽‽

Like a jack in the box.

SUPRISE MOTHERFUCKER!

#minji's writing #svsss #svsss oc #svsss mxtx #confuse the fuck out of luo binghe #keep um humble

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anonymousewrites · 11 months ago

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Pearl of the Sea Chapter Three

Found Family! PoTC Cast x Teen! Reader

Platonic! Will Turner, Elizabeth Swann, Jack Sparrow, Tia Dalma x Reader

Chapter Three: Commandeering the Interceptor

Summary: Jack, Will, and (Y/N) escape Port Royal to go after Elizabeth.

Mouse Note: I'm back! I'm so so happy to be back to posting!

(Y/N), Will, and Jack ran under the bridge near the harbor. They had escaped the fort and the town, but until they had escaped Port Royal entirely and were on the open seas, they weren’t in the clear.

“We’re going to steal a ship?” said Will. His eyes widened as he saw which one Jack was looking at. “That ship?” It was a massive ship, the Dauntless, one of the finest under Norrington’s command.

“Commandeer,” said Jack. “We’re going to ‘commandeer’ that ship. Nautical term.”

(Y/N) snorted.

“One question about your business, boy, laddie, or there’s no going.” Jack looked at them. “This girl. How far are you willing to go to save her?”

“I’ll kill for my sister,” said (Y/N).

“I’d die for her!” said Will.

“Oh, good, no worries then,” said Jack. The pair certainly had commitment.

He led them to several rowboats and snuck under one. Carefully, they carried it into the water, and (Y/N) and Will followed since they recognized it would disguise them from sight as they approached the ship.

The physics of the water and the rowboat at the bottom of the bay provided them with air while they walked closer. The moment (Y/N) touched the water, they found themself smiling. They couldn’t help it.

“This is either madness or brilliance,” said Will as they walked across the sandy harbor floor.

“It’s remarkable how often those traits coincide,” said Jack.

“As long as we make it, I don’t care which it is,” said (Y/N).

Fortunately, that moment turned out to be more brilliance than madness, and once near the boat, they pushed upwards and swam. Jack led the way, grabbing a rope and climbing up the side of the boat. Will tread water and made sure (Y/N) grabbed on next and climbed. Their arms burned pleasantly as they finally exerted all the energy they had, and they felt strong and capable as they went.

The three arrived at the helm, and Will drew a cutlass. Jack had his pistol in hand, and (Y/N) had a sword Will had grabbed for them before they headed to the harbor.

“Everyone, stay calm!” said Jack, announcing their presence to the soldiers aboard. “We are taking over the ship.”

“Aye! Avast!” said Will.

The soldiers stared in surprise before bursting out laughing at Will’s pirate-talk. (Y/N) rolled their eyes.

“This ship cannot be crewed by two men and a child,” jeered the officer aboard, Gillette. “You’ll never make it out of the bay.”

“Uhuh, right,” said (Y/N).

“Son,” said Jack, grinning and pointing his pistol between Gillette’s eyes. “I’m Captain Jack Sparrow. Savvy?”

Gillette swallowed and stepped back. (Y/N) tilted their head and smiled “innocently.”

“I’d suggest you get into your lifeboats,” they chirped.

Will looked at (Y/N), slightly concerned. That was a new tone of voice—slightly threatening, very self-assured. He knew that they were always playing a role around Swann and “civilized” society, but the seamless switch as if this was always inside them was disconcerting (if Will was honest, though, he also found it impressive).

Jack gestured to the boats with his pistol. “Now, if you please.”

The sailors scrambled to obey, and soon, it was just Jack, Will, and (Y/N). Unfortunately, it was true that they could not leave the harbor with just three people.

As they tried to unfurl sails, Gillette drifted with his sailors towards shore and shouted to Norrington, making his own preparations. “They’re taking the Dauntless! Commodore! They’re taking the ship!”

Norrington grabbed his spyglass and looked towards the rowboat to see Gillette shouting wildly.

“Sparrow, Turner, and the Governor’s ward! They’re taking the Dauntless!” cried Gillette.

Norrington trained his spyglass on the three figures on the Dauntless. “Rash, Turner. Too rash.” He was also quite surprised at the gall of (Y/N), a teenager, joining a pirate and apprentice blacksmith to steal a ship and escape to sea. “How terrible, a childhood rebellion. Disgraceful.” He tsked. “That is without a doubt the worst pirate I have ever seen.”

Aboard the Dauntless, the trio were preparing for Norrington to arrive.

“Here they come,” warned Will.

Jack grinned.

(Y/N) noted it and cocked their head. “You were hoping for that, weren’t you?”

Jack looked at them. “One of you is bright! Well, that’s good!”

Will scoffed. “What’s your plan, then, Jack?”

“Let them come aboard!” said Jack.

He ran to the stern to hide as the Interceptor approached. Will and (Y/N) followed, and they watched as the Interceptor threw grapples over to the Dauntless and swung over to search for them. All the sailors climbed over, and Norrington looked over the deck angrily.

“Come alone!” said Jack, grabbing a rope. He swung over to the Interceptor, now empty.

(Y/N) grinned, grabbed a rope, and swung. Will was right behind them.

“Laddie, cut us free!” said Jack, swaggering across the deck.

(Y/N) swung their sword across all the of the ropes tying the ships together, and the sails caught the wind. The Interceptor moved forward, leaving the Dauntless alone. Norrington whirled as he spotted it sailing away.

“Sailors, back to the Interceptor, now!” ordered Norrington.

Several men grabbed ropes and tried to swing across, but the Interceptor, one of the fastest ships at sea, was already ahead of the Dauntless, and the men were sent flying into the ocean.

Jack grinned and waved his hat to Norrington. “Thank you, Commodore, for getting us ready to make way! We’d have had a hard time by ourselves!”

The Dauntless couldn’t be prepared by three people, but the Interceptor had been prepared by a large crew. It would just be steered by three people, quite doable for a bit.

(Y/N) let out a laugh at Norrington’s frustrated expression and how well the plan had turned out. Not to mention…they were out on the sea, the one place they’d been forbidden from going to. (Y/N) had the wind at their back and the salty sea air to breath.

(Y/N) let out another laugh.

Jack and Will looked at them, but they just grinned wider.

For some reason, despite the danger they were sailing towards, they had never felt better.

“When I was a lad living in England, my mother raised me by herself,” said Will as they sailed peacefully. He sharpened his cutlass as the wind took the Interceptor open the open seas. “After she died, I came out here, looking for my father.”

“Is that so?” Jack really wasn’t paying attention and was taking care of the ship.

“My father, Bill Turner?” Will stood and followed Jack towards the helm. “It was only after you learned my name that you agreed to help.” (Y/N) looked at Will and Jack. “Since that’s what I wanted, I didn’t press the matter.” Jack ignored him. “I’m not a simpleton, Jack. You knew my father.”

(Y/N) looked up at Jack as he paused before facing Will properly.

“I knew him,” said Jack. “Probably one of the few people that knew him as William Turner. Everyone else called him ‘Bootstrap’ or ‘Bootstrap Bill.�� ” He turned away.

Will frowned. “Bootstrap?” he repeated.

“Good man. Good pirate,” said Jack casually.

Will looked at Jack in confusion, and (Y/N) tilted their head. They hadn’t expected that.

“I swear, you look just like him,” said Jack.

“It’s not true. He was a merchant sailor,” said Will. “A good, respectable man who obeyed the law.”

(Y/N) winced. They doubted Jack was lying because he didn’t have a reason to, but Will clearly didn’t want to listen to it.

“He was a bloody pirate, a scallywag,” said Jack, turning back to the helm.

“My father was not a pirate!” Will drew his sword.

“Will, let’s not do this,” said (Y/N), looking at the sword warily.

“Put it away, son,” said Jack. “It’s not worth you getting beat again.”

“You didn’t beat me. You ignored the rules of engagement,” said Will. “In a fair fight, I’d kill you.”

“That’s not incentive for me to fight fair, is it?” said Jack.

“I don’t think there is such thing as a fair fight,” said (Y/N), sitting back and folding their arms. “If someone is more skilled than the other, then it’s not fair fundamentally. People just try to make themselves feel better by having ‘rules.’ Real world is a little wilder.” Like the sea.

Jack and Will paused and looked at them after that strange speech. Honestly, (Y/N) was a little surprised, too. They had just spoken their mind, something they only did with Will and Elizabeth. And they had enjoyed it, letting whatever words or opinions they had—no matter how against society they may be—be spoken aloud.

“…Where did you come from?” said Jack.

(Y/N) shrugged. “Found in the ocean. I don’t know anything more than that.”

“…” Jack and Will looked at them. Jack glanced at Will, who shrugged as if saying “it’s the truth, no matter how weird it is.”

“You have a strange way of talking, laddie, but you’re right!” said Jack jovially. “On the seas, there are only two things that matter—what a person can do and what a person can’t do.” He looked at Will. “For instance, you can accept that your father was a pirate and a good man, or you can’t.” He looked at (Y/N). “And you can accept that the ‘civilized’ gents want somethin’ tamer in the world, or you can’t.” He grinned at both. “But pirate is in your blood, mate, and the sea is in yours, laddie. You’ll have to square with that someday.”

“And what about you?” (Y/N) looked at him. “What can or can’t you do?”

“I can lead this ship astray and not work with ya, but I can’t bring this ship into Tortuga by me onesies,” said Jack brightly. “So. Can you sail under the command of a pirate? Or can you not?”

Will hesitated before sheathing his sword. “Tortuga?”

Jack grinned. “Tortuga.”

“What is Tortuga?” asked (Y/N).

“The greatest town a pirate would ever want to step onto land in,” said Jack.

(Y/N) stood at the front of the ship and leaned over the side. They gazed at the water rushing by below. The sun had lowered in the sky and sent streaks of light dancing across the waves. The highlights illuminated fish jumping up from the water, and (Y/N) smiled. With the wind whipping their hair and the smell of the sea flying around them, (Y/N) had never felt better. They felt free, like they were the waves themselves rushing by. They knew this was only a brief moment, one that would end as soon as they saved Elizabeth, but it was still nice. (Y/N) felt like themself.

From the helm, Jack and Will watched them lean over the water below. Will was tense, waiting for them to topple overboard, but they hadn’t despite how long they’d been sitting there.

“Mate, you’re gonna explode before we get to Tortuga,” said Jack.

“I don’t want them to get hurt,” said Will. “Elizabeth would never forgive me if something happened to them. I would never forgive myself.”

Jack looked at (Y/N). “The lad seems fine. They’ve got good sea legs.”

Will frowned. “Yes, but they were found floating into the harbor. That means the sea is dangerous for them.” He sighed. “There’s a reason we want them to stay away from the ocean. We don’t them to be lost again. Whoever their family was, they lost them to the sea. We won’t want them to lose us or their own lives.”

“Mate, the seas are the seas,” said Jack, leaning back. “Better to let them understand it than fear it.”

Will glanced at Jack. For the playful pirate, it was an usually philosophical comment. He looked back at (Y/N), who looked like they would lean out and touch the ocean if given a chance.

He hated to admit it, but Jack was right. The ocean was dangerous, that couldn’t be changed. Yet (Y/N) always sought it out, no matter how many times they were warned off. Perhaps Jack was right—even if he was just making an offhanded comment—and (Y/N) should be allowed to be with the sea in order to not fear it. Not that they seemed to. They wanted to be with the ocean more than most people.

Will sighed. He wasn’t cut out for this, worrying so much for Elizabeth and (Y/N). It couldn’t be good for his health.

But he did. He cared too much not to.

Taglist:

@slytherinroyalty16

@aew-kun-age-regression

@grippleback-galaxy

@andsoigotabutterfly

@insomniacneedssleep

@painstakingly-juno

@kitkatlover015

@chronicallybubbly

@froggyisfriend

@elliottheidiot2007

@paastaboi

@urlocalsabito

@speckle-meow-meow

@dmitrytherat

@vanessa-boo

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finnofamerica · 1 year ago

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Smile at the Bottom of the Bottle - Jack Sparrow x Reader | Smut

Summary: Jack cheers up the reader with a little special treat (A/n: lol)

Word Count: 780

Date Posted: 03.22.24

Prompt: Can i request a jack x reader were jack sees the reader having a bad day and decides to try and drink her/their (idc if its fem or neutral:D)troubles away. So jack tries to cheer them up and he turns it dirty;) if not that's okay to:)

TW: AFAB Language was used, with P in V penetration.

Note: N/a

🔞MINORS DO NOT INTERACT🔞

|| Masterlist || Request Here || Fandoms/ Characters || Req by @1deadpool26

Being part of Jack’s crew was always an adventure. There never seemed to be any rhyme or reason for his actions, yet somehow, things seemed to work out in his favor more often than not. Like Gibbs, you were loyal to Jack. Unlike Gibbs, your unwavering loyalty landed you marooned with Jack during the original mutiny.

And again, now after Barbossa dropped you, Jack, and Elizabeth on the very same island.

“Here,” Jack handed you a bottle, thunking down on the sand next to you and the small fire you had built. Elizabeth was out wanding the beach, doing god knows what; you didn’t care. It's not that you didn’t like Elizabeth; it's just that you didn’t care much about what she did. It’s the bed she made; she’s gotta lay in it.

“Thanks,” You took the bottle, taking a long swig. You didn’t have to tell Jack that it was a shitty day; he was feeling it too.

“Give me a smile, Love,” Jack caressed your cheek, “You know I hate it when you’re sad.”

“Not much to smile for, Jack,” you countered, shaking your head. “We’re stuck here again.”

“Aye, but we’re together.” He leaned in to whisper in your ear, kissing the lobe. You sighed, relaxing into his familiar touch. With his free hand, he stroked your bodice, making his way to your corset ties and undoing them swiftly. Once untied, he unclipped it, letting fall loose to the sand. “And I know what will make you smile.”

You rolled your eyes but made no move to stop him, letting undo the ties that held up your well-fitted trousers. Jack slid his hand down your pants, finding your sensitive clit with precision, using two fingers to rub it in slow, deliberate circles.

You couldn’t help the sigh that escaped your lips, rocking your hips up against his finger. You lost yourself in the feeling of him pressed against you as he continued to kiss down your neck to your collarbone, leaking little hickies and bruises in his wake, claiming you.

“You’re a tease,” You growled at him, “Man up and fuck me like you mean it.”

Jack just laughed at your frustration and pulled your pants around your ankles, making just enough space for him to get between them, repeating the action for his own trousers, freeing his long, thin member. He lined himself up with your entrance, sliding in with ease as you moaned. It had been a while since the last time he’d sunk his cock in you; you had missed the feeling.

He gripped your hips, propping them up against his, forcing you to lay back on the sand. Jack rocked gently into you, allowing you to warm up to his intrusion. Slowly but steadily, he began picking up the pace, sloppily kissing anywhere he could reach.

“Jack,” You moaned, hiding your face in your arm. His hand shot out, gripping your jaw as he forced your eyes to his.

“Don’t hide,” His smile bordered on sadistic. “I want to see your pretty face as you moan for me.”

Jack adjusted his positioning, hitting that spot that never failed to make you squeal and writhe beneath him. It felt amazing, but purposely, it wasn’t enough to get you to tumble over that edge. It only got you riled up until you were teetering on the edge of the cliff, waiting for the gust of wind to send you over.

“I swear, Jack, if you don’t make me cum, I will shoot you,” You threatened, arching you back into him, craving more than he was giving you.

Again, he laughed, reaching under your shirt to tease your taut nipples. Every pinch sent waves of painful pleasure through your body, right down to where that hot coil was tightening at the base of your stomach.

“Fuck, Jack,” You moaned again, brows furrowed in concentration, willing yourself to fall over that edge. You let out slow breaths, each inhale making your pleasure burn hotter, and the coil tightens. “Fuck, Jack, I’m gonna cum.”

“Come for me,” Jack demands as you stumble over the cliff, the coil bursting as aftershocks roll through you. Your pussy clenches around his cock as you spasm, the sensation forcing him to the edge.

Swiftly, Jack pulls out, only managing to stroke himself once or twice before he spurts thick beads of cum over your exposed stomach. He collapsed next to you, using his shirt to clean you up.

“I knew I’d make you smile.” He grabbed the abandoned bottle, taking a long swig. You just hummed in response, eyes closed in satisfaction, a soft smile on your lips.

“I guess you did.”

Tags: @1deadpool26

#Jack Sparrow X Reader #pirates of the caribbean x reader #pirates of the caribbean #finn writes #03.22.24

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theodorecanaryhood · 1 year ago

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Wrong number

Jason Todd (left) x Male reader (right)

Reader gets a wrong number calling and the two get into a discussion

Boxes filled the floor space as you moved them to place, looking around you saw in your mind where you wanted everything.

Finally able to afford a new place of your own, moving from your parents. A bit reluctant about moving to Gotham City of all places sure, but rent is much cheaper here.

With a couple of weeks to spare until you began your new job, you had more time to make your home and home.

Your phone ringing distracted you, the vibration of your cell in your back pocket made you jump a little.

‘Hello?’ You answered, a man’s voice presented itself.

‘Hey Kevin, how are you?’ The man’s voice said.

‘This isn’t Kevin, sorry I think you have the wrong number’ you replied as the man sighed down the other side.

‘Fuck, my Grindr match must’ve given me a wrong number’ he said sadly.

You felt bad for the stranger on the other side, he just wanted to get to know a new guy and got rejected.

‘Guess he did, sorry’ you said as the man sighed again.

The man took a breath on the other end as he began to speak again.

‘So, what’s your name?’ He asked, you rested the phone between your shoulder and ear as you moved a box from the floor in the hallway, moving it to what would be the bedroom.

‘Y/n’ you replied, walking to the bedroom.

‘Well I’m Jason’ he introduced as you smiled a little.

‘Awesome, nice to meet you’ you smiled again.

You could hear Jason smilie on the other end, as he seemed to what you took as lay down.

‘You from here?’ He asked, you shook your head.

‘No, from Coast City, moved here for work and independence’ you revealed.

‘Well Gotham is an interesting choice’ Jason smirked.

‘I’m sure’ you chuckled as you placed the box on the bare mattress.

‘So, you single?’ Jason asked, you laughed.

‘Yeah’ you said as Jason chuckled.

‘You into guys?’ Jason asked, you raised an eyebrow.

‘Guess’ you said as Jason sighed again.

‘If I guess, can I take you out?’ Jason asked, you beamed.

You sat on the bare mattress, enjoying the phone call from a stranger. From his voice you guessed he was a big guy.

‘Go ahead’

‘You’re a bottom, you like men to dominate you’ Jason said.

‘Correct’ you laughed as Jason cheered on the other end of the phone.

‘This is creepy for a first phone call and we don’t even know what we look like’ Jason realised as you nodded.

‘I agree, but I guess we’ll have to meet up’ you suggested.

‘Great, how about tonight at six? There’s a bar not too far away from Iceberg. It’s called Red Sea’ Jason said.

‘Red Sea? Shall I dress up Captain Jack Sparrow or something?’ You chuckled, making Jason laugh on the other end of the phone.

‘Sure if you want’ Jason joked as you walked to a box of clothes.

‘Cool, see you at six, Jason’ you said, Jason’s voice was like music.

‘See you then, y/n’

The call ended, you couldn’t believe the luck you had of a random number calling you and asking you out within 30 minutes of talking.

You had no friends out here so it only made sense that you would not have objections to meeting up with someone.

Course, not a great meet and greet if you have no idea who he is, what he looks like or even if he is a serial killer or something.

‘I’m wearing a black tank top’ the text from Jason’s number said, you walked to the Red Sea doors.

Taking a breath as you walked in, finding Jason with a black tank top and black jeans. Black hair, tattoos, big arms on show.

‘Jason?’ You asked, the black haired man shot his eyes to you.

‘Whoa, hey, y/n?’ Jason took your form in as he stood up.

The two of you shook hands, Jason towered over you, his eyes drew you in.

The two of you had a drink and sat together, Jason’s skin was warm and soft. He reached for your hand across from the table.

The two of you heals onto each other, Jason reached across from the other side as he brushed your hair back.

Your heart raced, blood rushed down to your pants. You felt yourself rising in between the legs as you faced the most attractive man you’d ever seen.

‘Wanna dance?’ Jason asked, you nodded as Jason switched on the duke box.

The two of you held onto each other as you swayed to the music.

Jason leant down as he stroked your face, kissing you gently. You ran a hand up his arms as you deepened the kiss.

Holding onto his shoulders, Jason held your face as he snuck his tongue inside your mouth.

Kisses as sweet as heaven, Jason brushed himself against you as you felt his length rising too.

‘My place isn’t too far from here, want to head back there?’ Jason asked you, you nodded.

Jason took his time with you, greeting you with long slow kisses, little smiles and words of comfort.

Holding onto Jason, his back being greeted by scratches as his neck was greeted by your lips.

Jason was the best sex you’d ever had, you were certain that you were for him too. The two of you made so much noise, making so much mess from sweat, bites, clothes everywhere.

The two of you lay together as you slept sweetly in Jason’s arms, him being so determined to see you again.

You didn’t realise you could fall in love so quickly, neither did Jason.

All it took was a Grindr match to give a wrong number, and for you answer your phone.

#red hood #gotham #red hood fanfiction #red hood x reader #red hood x you #jason todd fanfiction #jason todd x reader #jason todd x y/n #jason todd x you #jason todd #jason todd x male reader #red hood x male reader

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127-crew · 2 years ago

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How they would comfort you

Jack Sparrow:

• Jack Sparrow has a habit of trying to fix problems on his own, and when he wanted to fix whatever had you bothered, you ask him not to, that the best thing he can do for you is just to remain by your side, so he obliges

• Jack will try to get an image of how you’re feeling, but it’s a challenge when it comes to reading body language rather than hear it through words

• Jack isn’t very good at reading others, even you. You always have to tell him, which you honestly didn’t mind doing.

• Jack never was good at offering good advice once you’ve finished telling him. By doing this, Jack seems to be a good listener.

• He offers physical affection, his actions are stronger than words when it comes to you and sometimes that was better, all you need to see that everything is okay and will work out in the end

• Physical affection would include running his fingers lightly through your hair, and that often did the trick in making you feel so relaxed that you begin to doze off

• The next step in physical affection would be taking you into his sleeping quarters and the both of you would be cuddling as he continues to comfort you

• Pulls you close to him

• Promising you in a hushed tone that he would always be there for you

• Once you begin to feel better, you begin to speak

• “Can we stay like this for a little while? It’s nice.”

• Jack would release a small laugh as he agrees to your request

• He loves you to pieces and hated it to see that something has bothered you so much

• Jack had a way of making it all seem not so bad

Hector Barbossa:

• To see you so upset, the very first thing that Barbossa would often think you were upset because of something he has done

• It took a lot for him to finally ask you if it was anything he did and would try to comfort you with apologies before giving you the chance to explain what was going on

• Once you confirmed it had nothing to do with anything he had done, it was a huge relief for him as he tries to help you through whatever was troubling

• Unlike Jack Sparrow, he uses words as a tool for comforting you, he’ll say the sweetest things to you, in which you know he is very sincere and is true to them, no matter how long in time

• “I’m glad you came into my life.” he would say, causing you to blush

• Upon seeing that, he waited until you were ready to tell him what was going on that made you upset

• When you did tell him, he pulls you in his embrace and pulls you close while you continue on telling him

• “I’m here for you.” is how it all starts, and you think it’s the best place to start.

• sometimes he will try and tell you stories from his past adventures

• Your favorite ones to hear about are the ones about Jack Sparrow

• Whenever you feel this way, Barbossa would know how to take care of you and help you to feel better

• He often doesn’t say it, but in this case, he said it again, almost as if he was taking back in time where the two of you confessed feelings for each other

• “I love you, so much.” he would say, followed by your own feelings for him.

• “I love you, too.”

Davy Jones:

• It doesn’t take long for Davy to pick up on the fact that something was wrong, or that something seemed to have upset you and he was determined to get to the bottom of it and find out

• One of the signs he picked up on was the fact that your ability to remember things had seemed to gone out the window

• Next, if you have messed up just the slightest, no matter how small, you seemed to get easily irritated and even close to very emotional, which is very unlike you

• The last part of it was you have suddenly fallen ill, even though the day before you were perfectly healthy

• Of course, Davy didn’t want to find out just by asking so at first, he asks some of the most trusted crew mates to look after you and report back to him if they notice anything

• When that didn’t work, he had no choice but to come right out and ask you, and he worried that it would upset you

• It did a little in the beginning, but you don’t spill everything out at once. So every night as you’re recovering, he comes to visit and you just take baby steps in telling him everything. During that time spent together, you’ve become closer as he gets to know you better

• After learning what’s going on, Davy’s soft spot for you only grew, as he now isn’t afraid to spare you the treatment in front of everyone from now on

• Comfort shows more from his actions than words, but he’s very good at it

• A couple of times, you’ve noticed Davy keeping an eye on you if you’re not close by, he just wants to make sure you’re not in any kind of danger, keeping you safe from harm

• The crew now respects you a little more than they have before

Will Turner:

• If you’re upset about something, it’s easy for him to tell, it’s nearly impossible to hide anything from Will

• He knows just by simply holding your hand brings you calm and comfort, so you’re often seen around holding his hand

• If you have to part ways for even just a few seconds or minutes, he’s always reluctant to leave your side, even with knowing you’d still be there when he returns to you, almost like he never left for a brief moment

• “Don’t go where I can’t follow!” he’d say, but that would be when you go off on your own a little bit

• Hearing Will say that never failed to bring a smile to your face. Upon your return, Will sometimes is overly dramatic with greetings. Usually he greets you with a hug that tells you he thought he’d never see you again.

• You don’t complain, you return the hug before going off with him

• Will was very protective of you, especially during those times you would get upset and often, he would think it was because of something he had done

• “Don’t lie for me, (Y/n).” he’d say.

• You were always truthful with him

• You both work together on looking for ways to get rid of whatever it was that was making you so upset

James Norrington:

• No matter how hard you may try, it was just too easy for James to pick up on the scent that you were very bothered by something

• Once it was confirmed, he would ask you what it was, nearly demanding answers from you

• However, seeing as upset as you were once he started asking, he allowed for you to take all the time in the world that was required of your need to compose yourself just enough to at least.m tell him what was going on

• He refused to leave your side once he knows and tries his best to comfort you in ways he believed would bring you comfort

• And it worked

• You’re hardly leaving his side and he’s hardly ever letting you go out of his sight

• Unlike some, James Norrington was very understanding and sincerely cared

• From than on, he wasn’t afraid to put you first before anything else

• Even though it may have gotten him in trouble a few times, he continued and didn’t care about the trouble it got him in

• You would ask for him to worry about you later, but he wasn’t having it

• “Not a chance in the world.” he’d say.

• Which only made you fall in love with him even more

• It was those awful nightmares that was bothering you, they seemed to never have any plans on ever going away

• If anything, they got worse each time you had one

• One night, you had a real bad one, one that made you scream and thrash around in your sleep

• Of course, that woke James up and he comes to your aid as he begins comforting you

• “I heard you screaming again, is it the nightmares?”

• You nod as you feel like you couldn’t breathe and that’s when James started his mission to comfort you back to sleep

• “Hey, just look at me. Breathe.”

• You did and soon, you started feeling better and laid back down to go back to sleep.

• Just as you were about to enter sleep, you were awakened a short minute at the feel of James Norrington’s hand in yours

• “Hold my hand. You’re going to be fine.”

• “I could use a hug.” you say sleepily.

• The last thing you remember before falling asleep was seeing the smile form on his lips, followed by the feel of him holding you

• Finally, a peaceful sleep takes over

***

@127-crew

#pirates of the caribbean imagines #pirates of the caribbean imagine #pirates of the caribbean x reader #pirates of the caribbean #jack sparrow #hector barbossa #davy jones #will turner #james norrington #requested #requests #request #ask box

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voxteardrop · 4 months ago

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QUESTIONNAIRE DE STONES - BRIAN ANSWERS - 1966

Brian Jones répondant au questionnaire de Proust.

Brian Jones responds to the Proust questionnaire.

note: cannot find the first 5 questions, nor the magazine this is from. this seems like a badly-translated version of the proust questionnaire. image taken from @sophiajones13

PSYCHOANALYSIS (BOTTOM LEFT OF THE IMAGE) NOW TRANSLATED AND POSTED HERE!!!!!

6. Who is your favourite historical personality?

MARQUIS DE SADE

7. Who are your favourite heroines in real life?

QUEEN JULIANA

8. Who are your favourite heroines in fiction?

CANDY

9. Who is your favourite painter?

"GEORGIE" RYLAND. (late senior art master)

10. Who is your favourite musician?

BRUCE WELSH ?

11. What qualities do you prefer in a woman?

OPEN-NESS. + AVAILABILITY.

12. What qualities do you prefer in a man?

HAIRINESS + MASCULINITY

13. What is your favourite virtue?

PASSING FREELY

14. What is your favourite occupation?

HOGGING.

15. Who would you have liked to be?

QUINTIN HOGG. or SUPERMAN

16. What is the chief feature of your character?

SUSPECTED INSANITY

17. What do you appreciate most in your friends?

GENOROSITY, OBESITY, BRISTOLCITY.

18. What is your main default?

OBSCENITY,

19. What's your dream of happiness?

HOW DOES THIS QUESTION DIFFER FROM No. 3 ??

20. What would be your greates(t) misfortune?

GREATES MISFORTUNE? TO BE CASTRATED WITHOUT ANAESTHETIC.

21. What would you like to be?

A BULLFROG CROAKING IN A PALE SUMMER MOON WITH A COWFROG

22. What is your favourite colour?

WHITE OF COURSE !!!

23. What is your favourite flower?

DEFLOWER

24. What is your favourite bird?

HOUSE SPARROW, ALBATROSS, PTERODACTYL, STOOL PIGEON.

25. What is your favourite author of prose?

ISIAH (esp. Ch. 12 v. 36 - or is it Ch. 36 v. 12?) [Note: it is Ch. 36 v. 12.)

26. Who are your favourite heroes of real life?

BENNY.

27. Who are your favourite poets?

THE ACCEPTED ONES - POUR QUOTE NATURELLEMENT.

28. Who are your heroines in history?

JULIA CAESAR

29. What are your favourite names?

AN-AN, GOD, SATAN, ETHELRED.

30. What do you abbhor most?

Abbhor?

31. Which historical character do you despise most?

JESUS CHRIST

32. What military event do you admire most?

CRUCIFIXION

33. Which reform do you admire most?

SODOMITE REVIVAL 1967 AD,

34. Which natural gift would you like to have?

GROWTH.

35. How would you like to die?

HONOURABLY, YEA MAJESTICALLY

36. What is the present state of your mind?

AFTER THIS LOT, YOU MUST BE JOKING!

37. What is your motto?

¹/ DIEU ET MON DROIT

²/ SALUTAS ET ERUDITIO

³/ F--- YOU JACK, I'M ALRIGHT

4/ KEEP LEFT.

#brian jones #the rolling stones #60s #interview

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littlerobbinphantomhive19 · 11 months ago

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Look. I have been a fan of this man for over 20 years. I have never, and I mean NEVER, let myself read fan fiction about him (smut or otherwise), only his characters, if that.

Definitely made me feel all high and mighty. Like, ‘Oh I don’t read fan fictions about the actor. I only read fan fictions about the characters because they aren’t real! I’m respecting the actor by not being gross!’

WELP. That ship has FUCKING SAILED.

For the past couple of months I’ve been watching nothing but Johnny Depp movies. Specifically PoTC1 and Secret Window on repeat. Thanks to 21 Jump Street (1987) I’ve been on a Tom Hanson kick. I found a lovely writer on tumblr, @fuck-i-burnt-the-tea (thank you I love your work), who writes fan fiction about Johnny Depp and two of his characters (Tom Hanson and Captain Jack Sparrow).

I thought ‘Well, reading just one about Johnny won’t hurt.’

Down the fucking rabbit hole I go and now I’m chained up at the bottom.

I’ve simped for this man for YEARS so don’t get me wrong, the brainrot is all well and good but I feel so scummy!

Is this rule for all actors? No. Only him.

Does that make me a hypocrite? Most likely.

Do I regret it? No, not particularly.

Do I still feel like garbage? Abso-fucking-lutely.

#johnny depp #pirates of the caribbean #captain jack sparrow #Tom Hanson #21 Jump Street (1987)#mort rainey #secret window #Sweeney Todd #I’m sorry #i feel ashamed #why am i like this #why do i feel this way #x reader

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drugs-and-daddyissues · 11 days ago

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JD Bedroom Alignment

Yesterdays results: Jack Sparrow - Top/Freaky (you guys CANNOT keep voting top freaky just because it's Johnny Depp), Mort Rainey - Switch/Vanilla

𝐃𝐀𝐘 𝟏𝟓: 𝐉𝐀𝐌𝐄𝐒 𝐌 𝐁𝐀𝐑𝐑𝐈𝐄 (𝐅𝐈𝐍𝐃𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐍𝐄𝐕𝐄𝐑𝐋𝐀𝐍𝐃)

#johnny depp #johnny depp love #johnnydepp #john christopher depp ii #30 days of johnny depp #📎 polls

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ashortdropandasuddenstop · 2 months ago

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The air was thick with salt and tourists.

Chief Inspector James Norrington stepped off the dock and onto the creaking gangplank of the María Celestina, the so-called “crown jewel” of the harbor’s historical attractions. She was freshly waxed and obnoxiously polished, bobbing smugly in the water as if she wasn’t the scene of a high-profile theft.

He adjusted his sunglasses, not because the sun was in his eyes—but because he could feel a headache forming already.

A museum staffer—young, nervous, probably not used to talking to real police—greeted him near the main deck. “Sir, it—it was just gone this morning. No alarm, no signs of forced entry, nothing.”

James held up a hand. “Save the details. Just… show me the logbook.”

They led him past the velvet ropes and down into the exhibit hall, where a glass display case now sat suspiciously empty. The spotlight still shone dramatically on the void. A plaque below it read:

“Gold Doubloon – Circa 1697. Believed to be part of the Mad Red Corsair’s final plunder.”

Of course it was.

James took the logbook and flipped through the pages with a practiced eye. Names, numbers, mostly tourists. Then, at the bottom of the guest list from the night before:

“Captain Jack S.”

No address. No number. Just that—alongside a doodled compass rose that looked suspiciously smug for an ink drawing.

James glared at the empty display case, the stolen coin already weighing on his mind like a stone. He turned sharply toward Gillette and Groves, his tone biting and impatient. “Find Captain Jack S. I don’t care how—trace his steps, check the docks, question every bloody tourist if you have to. I want him now.” He paused, eyes narrowing.

Both officers stiffened and nodded in unison. “Yes, sir.”

@flighty-sparrow

#v: Modern #flighty-sparrow #Cursed Treasure

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bebx · 2 years ago

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list your top 9 characters ♡

tagged by the lovely @foodiewithdahoodie (x) thank you!

from left to right, top to bottom — Captain Jack Sparrow (Johnny Depp), Daniel Harrow (Ioan Gruffudd), Henry Morgan (Ioan Gruffudd), Henry Creel | One | Vecna (Jamie Campbell Bower), Reed Richards | Mister Fantastic (Ioan Gruffudd), Victor von Doom (Julian McMahon), Hannibal Lecter (Mads Mikkelsen), Edward Scissorhands (Johnny Depp), Angelique Bouchard (Eva Green)

I know, I know, 3 of these are Ioan Gruffudd and 2 are Johnny Depp. I mean can you blame me?

also, I could only list 9, but there were more characters that I loved that unfortunately didn’t make it to the list. I still love them though!

no pressure tags: @mobius-m-mobius @mirilyawrites @ikeepwatchinghelicopters @queereldritch @harringroveera @highwarlockofphilly @doseofthreecuties @aragarna @sunflowerharrington @loki-is-my-kink-awakening @lokisgoodgirl @chaos-monkeyy @argylepiratewd @loki-hargreeves @worstloki @cultofsheep @elsbianism @okilokiwithpurpose @josephandjamie @depper-than-you @josephfakingquinn @sullxo @trekkitkat @eddiemunsons-missingnipple @ohfallingdisco @21deppstreet @jensomniac @miraclesheen @madamedepp @immortaltricksters & anybody who feels like joining ♡

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capriddle · 5 months ago

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Ranking of my Favorite Villains

I would like to point out that this ranking is a mix of love for the people but also of analysis of their construction and history, for this reason the ranking will be hybrid and the characters' positions will be given considering not only my love for them but also the brilliance and complexity of their writing.

Let's start with a bonus: Gellert Grindelwald (Fantastic Beasts)

I love Grindelwald very much and I find him a potentially very interesting villain because of his tormented history with Dumbledore and the final attempt to protect his tomb from Voldemort, but we know too little about him, the films in which he was the main villain did not satisfy me at all and therefore I consider him a castrated villain. The honorable mention was in any case due.

10 Coriolanus Snow (Hunger Games)

He's mean, he's calculating, he uses an iron fist and he has a charm all his own. I loved him in every interaction with Katniss, I loved his story and his death with that crazy laugh. The only man I would want to receive white roses from.

9. Aleksander Morozova/The Darking (Shadow and Bone)

Breathtakingly charming, he makes a mess of things by creating the rift, but before he became the Black Heretic, he was just a child afraid of the dark who traveled with his mother in search of peace. Could he have been used better? Yes. Do I still love him? Of course.

8. Hector Barbossa (Pirates of the Caribbean)

Literally everyone loves him, including his old enemies. An undisputed enemy in the first film of the saga, his constant bickering with Jack Sparrow is as iconic as the monkey he carries on his shoulder. Cunning, opportunistic, turncoat and courageous, the ending with his daughter consecrates him as an undisputed icon.

7. Cersei Lannister (Game of Thrones)

Ruthless, opportunistic, cynical, she would kill her children rather than hand them over to her enemies (literally). She wanted something else from life but had to fall back and made sure she could always get the most, using every subterfuge, without shame and without second thoughts. This is how you write a great villain.

6. Bellatrix Black (Harry Potter)

Unfortunately, the lack of more information about her prevents me from putting her closer to the podium, not to mention that she is a secondary villain, but for this reason she deserves this ranking at all costs. Loyal, brave, intelligent, cunning and without scruples, she would kill her family (literally) if they dared to go against her. The definition of strength made woman.

5. Aemond Targaryen (House of the Dragon)

A child bullied by everyone but brave and intelligent, a prince mistreated despite being more competent than the rest of the family. Aemond may be at the bottom of the list of succession to the Iron Throne but he doesn't know it and together with his cunning and his beloved Vagar he becomes prince regent anyway. Always go Aemond!

4. Homelander (The Boys)

Take a test tube, create a god, fill it with trauma. Here is Homelander! An extraordinary villain, a devastated psyche, a cruel and merciless world. You can't help but be terrified by a character like Homelander, he can literally do anything when he's on stage, and yet it's not all his fault, because they created the monster and now they don't know how to stop it. A character so terrifying and well written that he is loved despite everything he does.

3. Loki Laufeyson (Thor/The Avengers)

My love at first sight (not ironically). An abandoned child, a wounded brother, a son cast aside. Loki has exquisite depth, he is a deceiver but has real feelings of suffering, he feels inadequate and unloved, he is in constant struggle with himself. Ironic, intelligent, cunning, he is no longer in anything else just because this is a ranking of villains and for me he has never been a one hundred percent villain, he was certainly the first to have my heart among all these characters and he always will be♡

2. Hwang In-ho/The Front Man (Squid Game)

The fallen hero, a just and generous man who finds himself alone and abandoned by society and so, just as she turned her back on him making him lose everything, in the same way he stops having hope. Does he suffer in doing so? A lot. Does he continue on his path? Despite everything he does, he goes forward without ever betraying his new beliefs, remembering with a resentful pain what he was through Gi-hun. What can I say, a tragic character whose fate is yet to be discovered.

1. Tom Marvolo Riddle/ Lord Voldemort (Harry Potter)

Obviously, who could be at the top of a list of villains if not the personification of evil? Lord Voldemort is not only that, he is a wicked deceiver, a cunning bastard who made his way up on his own from a squalid Muggle orphanage to the top of the Ministry of Magic. Not only that, he charmed his noble companions so much that they swore loyalty to him until death. A man with a complicated past, a disastrous family and only his skills as support. A character rotten to the core but so human with his fears, anger and grudges that he deserves more consideration because he is much more than a simple villain in a children's book.

Here I am finished, I hope you liked the ranking. Let me know if you want your own ranking because I am very curious. See you soon!

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meldoesart16 · 7 months ago

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let me just make a note here cuz the previous cartoon might confuse ppl who don't know about her really(cuz i dont post her often lol)

She's a daughter of a human male&Siren in the Caribbean. After her father made love with Siren, Medeia's mother, her sisters were furious that a mere human took her heart, so they poked his eyes.(become blind eventually)

So when Medeia was living with his blind father in a harbor town, she meets young jack (about 20) who followed his dad to the adventure. She fell in love, also Jack too, but they had to let go of each other since the journey had to continue. (since they only stayed in the town for a week) However Jack promised that he will find Medeia again.

Then later, after 20 years passed Jack visited the harbor town again and greeted her as his crew.

Since Medeia was a half-idk monster?? half siren???okay this is cringe lmao. anyways she had a power of controlling the ocean water by herself. idk just imagine of Elsa in Frozen lmaooo

So she used that power to speed up the Black Pearl or scare the other ships away.

However, since there was a rumor roaming around quickly that "Captain Jack Sparrow has a witch as his crew" Beckett could not let that. He was actually curious.

So with half believing, he found Jack and lied that he needed a negotiation. Since Jack knew Beckett was an another-level-asshole, he thought it would be too dangerous for Medeia to come with him.(cuz he recognized that the rumor was spread)

So when Medeia was waiting Jack in the random harbor town for a month, Beckett approached her on purpose and lied that Jack and he had a deal to exchange her with a vast amount of money/weapons.

Medeia denied but since Jack was not coming back for a while(he was just lost for a while cuz his dumb), she admitted and followed Beckett.

Ofc Beckett was being like "omg but since i'm also a victim of Jack, I'll just set you free but you can just stay with me if u are just broke asf ^.^"(actually dark inside)

So Medeia felt sorry and grateful for Beckett and started to help Beckett's business with her power.(like scooping golds from the sea or wrecked EITC ships from the bottom)

Therefore, it was proven that Medeia had a power, and Beckett was going crazy with that since Medeia could just make a gigantic wave and murder thousands of people or scoop a vast amount of golds from the sea. (ofc Medeia hates people suffering)

But here is the problem, Medeia looked really similar with Jane, so Beckett was lowkey having weird feelings. First, he thought he was just missing his sister's kindness. Second, he was keep distracted by Medeia cuz after she came she was doing things like 🌈⭐️decorating Beckett's gloomy ass office😜❤️. She was new to him. And he did not like himself changing.

But she was too kind and warm hearted, Beckett felt like he was in his childhood home, i mean near to his mom and sister again. He could not stop thinking about that and he slept well after Medeia was near him. Cuz like u know he felt like he was in his home.

Eventually he accepted that this feeling is "love" and he was disgusted initially ofc. He hated he was feeling love and was loving someone cuz he assumed love was just an obstacle for success.

Nevertheless, he started to get used to her and just started loving. Without stress. But he did have some worries that she might know the truth.

And that comic is about that, when she knows that Beckett made a giant ass lie😜

now this is the end of this cringe wattpad story😜

#pirates of the caribbean #potc oc #cutler beckett & medeia marigold

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