#but thats a 'same lived experience so that would make sense to me' thing

[red-dyed-sarumane]

sometimes i mention keppi & im like fuck im going to look like one of those people who only cares about the male characters as if im not well known for loving women

[clumsypuppy]

Atla live action 😐

[light-wrath-paradise]

dude no offense but as a system you are so painfully obviously plural i mean this in a completely neutral way but youre plural boi

Are you for real or are you kidding? Please you gotta be honest with me about shit like this, I'm constantly afraid that all of my problems are actually universal (and I am the only one who's bad at handling them) and that I am just "faking" that there is something wrong with me.

[love44lew]

what turns them on/off

彡drivers lewis hamilton, max verstappen, charles leclerc, sebastian vettel, jenson button

彡genre hcs/scenarios

彡summary what gets their wheels spinning and what makes ‘em dnf ★

彡notes i apologize for the wait my loves i didn’t want any of these to feel rushed </3 thank you for 100 followers ❤️❤️

彡warnings sexual content

————-꧁🪼🦈🐋🐬🦭꧂-————

lewis

pleasuring you lewis loves to satisfy the people he loves. getting them gifts, compliments, paying the bill for any meal, you name it. as long as his special ones are happy, hes happy. so in bed you can expect those same things to apply. he gets pleasure from pleasuring you, he loves it. he enjoys seeing you trembling, blushing and fucked out more than his own pleasure. thats why his favorite thing to do is eat you out. and by life itself, this man can EAT!! its almost like your pussy put a spell on him he gets so lost in the sauce. you physically have to push him off to make him stop and by that time your legs are already shaking. he really touches the ocean floor if you know what i mean!! and the d is fire!! and it will put you to sleep. lewis loves being your personal melatonin.

meaningless sex when lewis was single and needed some pleasure every once in a while, he would just go on raya or hit up one of the six trillion girls who wanted him. he wasn’t satisfied with living that way. lewis is a lover not a player. he’s been through a lot of stuff to make him this way and he learned this the hard way through his late twenties and early thirties. born to be a lover, forced to be a hoe !! fortunately though, he met you and looking back on it, he’s realized how much he hated the shallowness of it all. lewis craves for deep meaningful connections and just having sex with random women didn’t fill that hole in his heart. he had to relearn the true meaning of sex and how magical and special such an experience can be. you helped him rediscover this important aspect of his life and it feels great. being with you has definitely taught him quality over quantity.

max

loss of senses max needs to see you, so darkness is a no no. plus, more unnecessary risk of hurting yourselves. he loves the sound of your voice, weather its your moaning and whining as he works your body in every way you enjoy or its just you rambling about your day while running your soft fingers through his thin silky hair. max needs the stimulation of sight and sound to get himself going. “let me hear you” he’ll whisper into your ear

this may be why he loves his mirrors !! the only solution to this issue is to just fuck u in front of a mirror. most men love to do that for their own pleasure but the only thing max is looking at while fucking you in front of a mirror is the way your face twitches, contorts, and relaxes with every thrust. the way your doe eyes roll back and cross, further showing to him how good he fucks you. he picks you up by your neck forcing you to straighten your back as he whispers sweet praise into your ear. “you look so pretty like this baby” “you want me to keep doing that gorgeous?” “uhuh im fucking you good baby” your legs twitch every time his sweet voice sings into your ear telling you everything you need to hear.

charles

charles loves to see you in lace, latex, and silk. the way the latex hugs your figure so beautifully makes you almost look naked. weather its black, beige, white, or print he loves when you look all sexy just for him. silk is almost like maternal for him. as much as he loves to see your curves he also loves the look of ‘sheets after sex’ the open back with the jewelry and the flowy trim, he loves it. it simply just makes him want to imagine you bloated with your shared creation but still keeping your elegance and beauty along with it. the look of silk makes your skin glow like the sun and you simply look like a greek goddess in his eyes. the beautiful custom embroidery that revolves around your every curve when you wear lace is unmatched. he loves that it shows just enough that he can imagine what hes already seen but also covers enough that others cant. the sexy elegant vibe of lace changes your aura enough to make him want to eat you out through your thin panties. your beautiful skin covered by a thin soft custom embroidery made just for him makes his mind go wild.

waiting charles is very impatient when it comes to his pleasure. weather its the pleasure of winning or reaching tip of his climax so good that he’ll just want to fall asleep after, he’ll work hard to make sure he gets there, for you too. sure, he can do foreplay but only for a certain amount of time until he begins to bore. ‘lets get to the good stuff already’ ((sass)) charles is a gentleman, so he will make sure you finish before him. plus, he has amazing stamina, so don’t feel rushed to reach your climax, he can wait for that. sometimes he’ll slow down just to watch you overstimulate for a little bit longer, just until you start fussing before going rough and slow, just how u like it. “whats wrong mon cœr? don’t you like it slow?” “ahh you want it harder.. yeah, just like that.”

sebastian

cuddling (smirk) the bed creaks as seb adjusts himself to face your back swinging an arm over your waist and the other snaked around your neck. “good morning, der liebling” he greeted in his raspy low morning tone, planting soft kisses on your cheek and shoulder. you turned your head to catch his lips. “good morning sunshine” you teased his nickname. he rolled his eyes, a smirk tugging his lips. he kissed your nose before diving back onto your lips, his hand now squeezing and caressing your waist and hip. you scooted back, carefully grinding your rear on his front. his hand stuck on your hip while his other now holding your neck. you continued grinding your ass back on him. little moans and purrs escaping between kisses.

full attention its important that you fully engage with seb while having relations. if you seem at all uninterested in what you’re doing he simply wont have the means to do anything anymore. its important to always make sure you’re not holding back when it comes to him. he loves when your hands are anywhere they can find groping or caressing his skin as hes burried deep in your core. he needs to feel extra wanted every time. “touch me” he whispers into your ear as he slowly inserts himself. the extra sensory makes him go wild as he resists cumming after just a couple strokes. your nails lightly scratching circles into his scalp as he’s pressing your knees into the cushion below. even when hes fucking you from behind you always reach a hand over to run down his chest and abs and make eye contact as you match his thrust rhythm.

(i might add jenson in the future but im trying to get this out for you guys asap!!)

—-

dm for tags!! plz request more ideas ❤️

[disruptivevoib]

Long Ramble about CCCC and my overall feelings on what the album means and such

Something I find important about CCCC is like.

The fact that all three of them are, in some way, trying.

Heart is emotion, he is prone to himself and being reactionary, in the moment. Prone to the past of learned behavior and trauma. Reactive and rapidly changing. He isn't going to make pure sense because he isn't based in logic or in societal ideals or views. He is an instinctual response to the environment and circumstances. His manipulation is not intentional. He has very little control of himself in the end. Its why Mind talks about claiming to relish entropy yet clearly needing help. But, Heart in earnest wants them to be okay and safe. He believes that Mind's control will drain the life from them. It will make things monotonous and the same. Too much order.

Mind in turn, believes Heart is manipulative with intention. He wants to control Soul or wants to just drag them all down with him into this depressive state. Mind is logic, he is the reasoning out of your emotional instinct. Your inner critique, and when unchecked, that inner critique goes from a guiding hand for your emotion to one that debates and bullies it. Invalidating its responses. Ultimately, though. Mind just believes he is helping. He is doing what must be done and telling the "hard truths" to Heart. And that Heart is being the petty child. Which- I mean. Sort of sure. But Mind is definitely fucking petty and childish. He's stubborn! Prideful! So ofc he is. Admitting you're wrong? No.. why would he EVER do that.. nuh uh.

Which is what makes Light so crucial. Mind asking Heart for help- but also. There is Soul.

Who while ambiguous in purpose, is mostly that background voice. Your inner narration. If Mind is Logic and Reason then Heart is Emotion and Instinct,, Soul is all that lives between it. And he is constantly silenced or spoken over or around. He does not get a word in edgewise until TSE. He may show up in the background occasionally but as much as Heart and Mind claim to want to keep him alive and help him, they also fail to actually acknowledge what he says.

Which is that they both are right and wrong. That this fighting is doing directly what they both feared it would. Soul is desperate by the end. He is angry and resentful because.. well. Self hatred due to intense self awareness and reflection is rather ig. Common. Im not a professional here but from personal experience, you get so tired of rehashing the same shit with yourself over and over. It all feels pointless.

The only out, by the end of it all to Soul is that if they cannot be Whole, whats the point? He is desperate. He does not want to die but he feels theres no other solution.

And. About Whole, Soul throughout the album seems to want that. At the beginning, to be Whole or Harmonious is to be mentally healthy, maybe even "normal" by society's standards. To be able to put a mask over your problems and be, again, "normal". It takes the entire album for Soul to realize that this:

1. isnt possible

And

2. There isn't anything evil or wrong with him for that.

Mental health is a struggle. But you are not evil and should not be othered because you struggle. You also do not need to be fixed for being a little different and people's opinion of you is not what matters most so long as you are happy (and not hurting others. Lol).

Thats what Two Wuv is entirely about as a song. Its a "fuck you. Fuck this! I thought I needed to be this! But I DON'T. Stop telling me who I am! How to be! I'm gonna be me!"

His entire arc is parallel to Heart and Mind's and is crucial in the culmination of becoming yourself again and accepting yourself.

But, as mental health will always be, this period of respite and self acceptance is not always forever. And as life continues or as you lapse back into a depressive episode.. you cannot help but forget what it is like when you're not this way- and hell! Vice versa too! Some people have this disconnect between the periods. Where the things from the depressive state seem dramatic or obtuse to you while you are doing better. And from the other end, you just want to be happy again.. but you get so lost in it all you can struggle to feel like you've ever been happy.

The album is about the human experience. It is about self-sabotage, mental illness, self-hatred and reflection and it is, maybe more importantly about self-acceptance and healing. Having a bit of mercy on yourself. Accepting that you are imperfect and that this is okay. And whatever flaws you may have that need to be mended or worked on, can be. And that who you are, for example, if you are queer, is okay. And no one has the right to take that identity from you! That the internalized ideas of how someone should be are not always correct or right. Not for you, at least. Stuff like that.

[ombiblombi]

Okayokayokay. this is going to be a longshot BUT!

are you seeing what I what I see? The hook, The hook in eyefest’s fin… could it POSSIBLY be a searchlights? I mean…. it makes sense why she doesnt show up in the final grand encounter if its true, she probably had a near death experience with the bastards (/aff) and is scared SHITTLESS of them- No way in hell would she near those scary ass things….

“But wait! The hook shape, its different!”

Dearest jury members of this jesters court, might I present this upon the screen:

Behold! This is a snip taken from a clip where this unlucky player is carted off to the ever-so rusty hued sky(s) high above and, rather unfortunately, they did NOT find a Superhuman School run by Principal Powers up there. But, regardless of my silly little reference to my dearly beloved Sky High 2005, do you see the hook? Is it just me, or is it more triangular at the tip than the Searchlights? More old fashioned fisher hook-esk. Like one… PERHAPS embedded on our favoritest living geiger counter? It certainly doesnt look like the same scythe thats dangling from the lights. Of course, this just could be a small, practically unnoticeable error by the devs, but… I like to think that the lights just have different retractable hooks for prey and eyefest got caught up in that lol

anyway courtroom dismissed that’ll be all

[pedge-page]

Imagine baby Sarah angry with Joel for not giving into her asks and wants like idk candy maybe and sides with reader going behind Joel’s back to ask the exact same thing and then in the middle of the day Joel questions how Sarah got a lollipop and reader says that Sarah told her that Joel said yes but to ask reader as well and they then connect the dots to discover that they’ve been played

Joel Dealing with Preggo Wife: Sarah's Bargain

Notes: I’ve derailed from this prompt a little because Sarah’s gotta outsmart all of the adults in the room.

- - - -

Sarah and Joel are walking through the gas station mart when she spots the colorful rack of assorted candy. 

"Daddy, can I have one ring pop?"

"No," he responds plainly, counting the twinkies in his hand and figuring out how many he can get before you yell at him.

"Why not."

He grabs two bottles of Pepsi in one hand before heading over to the check out counter. “Because I said so."

She grumbles and follows close behind him. "If I clean my room--"

"You can't bargain with me. I'm not mom. My answer is no."

She thinks about it for a moment. Then smiles. "Ok Daddy, I understand."

Joel is surprised she acquiesced so quickly. She seems to have gotten over the tantrum phase. Maybe he's doing a pretty good job at this parenting thing after all. 

- 

Later on, you take Sarah along with you to go grocery shopping. "Mom.”

"Yes bubba."

"Dad said if I cleaned my room, I could have a ring pop."

You pause, surveying the special deal for pepsi cans. Despite Joel telling you about the suspicious amount of pepsi that’s been disappearing from his stock, you hadn’t touched any. In fact, you had your own stock that you suspect he’s found out and been stealing from. 

“What?”

“A ring pop,” she repeats. “Dad said if if cleaned my room, I could have one.”

 Thats very uncharacteristic of him to bargain with Sarah.

"He did? So what are you coming to me for?"

"Well he said ONLY if you agreed. Said it was OK but to ask mom first to be sure."

Fuck, making me do the hard decision. Joels always the favorite, and if you say no now, then it’s going to make you the mean mom for no reason. You did see she cleaned her room without being told...

You grab the pepsi case, hoping Joel won't scold you for your own hoarders pile.  

You see the innocent batting of her eyes just as you look over to the candy aisle. “Well if Dad said yes..." 

-

Sarah and Joel are sitting at the table as he unwraps his secret stash of pepsi and Twinkie’s away from you. 

"I asked mom for a ring pop and she said yes,” she mentions while coloring her book.

Joel freezes with half the cream custard in his mouth. “I said—“ 

"Its ok! I told her since you had said no, that she didn't need to get me one. I just wanted to see if she would..."

"You trying to set me up against mom?"

"No..." she adds quickly. "I just... thought it would be an interesting experiment.” She smiles softly, before turning to a very mature, saddened tone. “But then I realized it was wrong and I should have listened to you in the first place. So I didn’t take it because I know you said no."

He thinks about it for a moment. Now you’re going to come to him lecturing about why Sarah doesn't get things when she CLEARLY has a good sense of responsibility, going as far to say no to something she clearly wants just to respect him. She's also smart to test both of you, and even when she could have had it, she still refused. 

“Alright. Just cuz I'm proud of ya.” He dusts the power from his fingers and fishes for his wallet. “You’re a smart kid. But I don't want you testing your mom n’ me for the same answer.  And I don't want to get in trouble with her. I'll get you one. Just this once ok?"

She nods solemnly and crosses her heart. “I won’t say anything.”

-

The next day, you hear Joel and Sarah coming in from the garage and you quickly stash your pepsi behind the potted plant. Your daughter gives you a fat kiss on the cheek before running to the living room and turning on the tv.

You and Joel sit at the table. “I saw the can by the way.” He remarks.

You grunt, pulling the aluminum from its hiding spot and proudly sipping it before crinkling it in your hand. “Well I haven’t been stealing from you. I …have my own stash.”

Joel gasps, offended and surprised by your double standards. “And you yell at me n’ my Twinkies!”

"There better not be any f-ing twinkies in this house Joel Miller," you point at him threateningly.

"Nope none Nada. Haven't seen any." he slowly tucks the new plastic back full of them under his legs.

"The two of you talk about Sarah having cleaned her room without being told. 

"Yeah, I ended up getting her the ring pop,” he tells you.

You furrow your brows.

“?… but, I got her the ring pop. She said you told her I would get if it I also approved? I didn’t want to be the mean mom!"

Fuck, Joel knows you get too worked up on trying to be too nice and cater to Sarah... "What? I told her no first. I never said it was up to you. Then she said she asked you and you said yes, but she refused yours, so I got her it instead for being responsible. I told you to stop worrying about being the nice mom!”

You also know Joel's a sucker for marveling Sarah's experimental mind and working on being responsible over getting what she wants. "She did NOT refuse my offer. what are you talking about?"

Tommy comes in moments later, and waves to the two of you through the open door. Sarah runs up to him near the doorway, and he greets her first suspiciously. They do a funky little hand shake, and you catch a glimpse of something silver going into his palm before she retreats to the living room 

"What are you doing here?" Joel asks.

Tommy shrugs. "Uh nothin’ just.."

"Did you just slip her a ring pop??" You ask incredulously. 

He huffs a guilty sigh. "Sarah asked for a ring pop because you guys told her no, so I went to pick one up at the store as long as she didn’t tell either you...."

Fuck. You and Jole BOTH know Tommy's complex about wanting to be Sarah's favorite uncle (despite the fact you keep reminding him he's her  ONLY uncle and he has no competition).

Above all else, Sarah knows these weakness about each of you. You all look over to her as she unwrap a third ring pop, putting all of them on her one hand and switching back and forth sucking on them. There's an open Pepsi can clutched in her other tiny palm that she sips from, with an exceedingly satisfied grin on her face.

- - - -

Taglist:

@harriedandharassed @lola8888673 @its-nebuleuse @zliteraturehoe @merz-8 @joeldjarin @pascalscoffin @pedroshotwifey @ghostslillady @innerpersonunknown @missladym1981 @mrsoharaxx @survivingandenduring @milla-frenchy @cockykookiee @fairytale07 @daddy-din @pedropascalsbbg @spookyxsam @somehopeatlast @millercontracting @pedrostories @mishala005 @theoraekenslover @animez96 @not-a-unique-snowflake-blog @puduvallee @cassiecasluciluce @loohoop

[urautismdiagnosis-wistie]

Headcanons about Shellington or Inkling? Maybe about their lives before being octonauts?

I'm going to make a larger post about the professor soon, but for now I'll share some more about shellington!

Here's a lil doodle of him and his sister pearl! Sorry if it looks kinda messy <:3

As mentioned in another post shellington has POTS in my misty memories au, and I'm making a post that explains a bit more about it along with a requested artwork but if I get something wrong here pls let me know! This starts out a lil bit rough but It gets better

🦦🦦🦦🦦🦦

Shellie grew up in a sea otter community where half of the town was floating homes and the other half was social areas and family areas in/on the water... falling asleep beneath the stars and all that yk? <3

Having POTS definitely would've made leaving his swimming sea otter community like.. really hard... esp if he wanted to get a higher education.

He always kinda felt bad about his disability growing up (not ashamed!) cuz his sister pearl would often try to stay behind with him or change her own plans for his sake, even tho she had older friends and interests that just weren't POTS friendly... not to mention alot of the sea otter communities games like wrestling and diving courses and races just... weren't really something he could DO....

🦦🦦🦦🦦🦦

pearl never minded or saw it as a pain because they were honestly both raised pretty well enough to communicate their needs and feelings. Eventually shellington did make a few close friends of his own tho,but even then he and pearl were always close and enjoyed eachothers company ^v^

his parents tried to support him physically and mentally-and shellington knew he was loved, but that mixed with autism really just gave him this sense of othering at times. They did talk to him about that and they worked on it through communication and helping him find his own "niche" so to speak. And he always made sure to support his family too, he's a very good listener after all.

He got to have good experiences and got to make mistakes, learn from them, and grow up accepted and cherished even if he just had to do things a little differently sometimes.

🦦🦦🦦🦦🦦

His dad was actually a jeweler that worked on a nearby shop on land and his mom did tutoring and was pretty active in their community.

Shellington was always in their local library researching creatures he couldn't find locally (creatures that traveled told him about so many interesting stories! His own parents used to travel alot before pearl and he were born and his old man would tell him tons of stories about their traveling adventures! And little creatures they met too) and drawing them.

Shellington loved to draw wherever he could and whenever he could and even won a few art competitions for youth through the years.

🦦🦦🦦🦦🦦🦦🦦

Eventually he got older and his passion for sea creatures grew even stronger and stronger, making him dive into a world full of aspiration of understanding them all on a deep biological cellular level.

(Especially since he was very aware of all the "amazing natural cures" that were just a bunch of bs, he'd rather do research to find real helpful uses that might ACTUALLY help people someday)

The word was just FULL of mysteries of so many creatures abilities- and he just wanted to solve them and understand them and SEE EVERYTHING! He even got to work in a lab thanks to his academic success.

🦦🦦🦦🦦🦦

It was that same passion that allowed him to excel and that same passion that lead him to being one of the first members (other than the captain tweak and inkling) to join the octonauts! He had a wide range of understanding and an even wider range of skills. Shellie understood creatures, the complicated webs and nature of ecosystems, and was deeply passionate.

So he did basically got his dream job!

And thats a bit of backstop for my shellie! Thoughts (and corrections/ suggestions for any inaccuracies ) are welcome !

[majimaisms]

If you could elaborate on the health freak isms I would leave my estate and stocks to you in my will, because jeemers is, to me, the epitome of someone who survived for one reason (jeemers' being saejima (to kill him?? So normal of him)) and then, now that the moment has passed, Can't Stop Fighting To Survive even though they don't genuinely want to anymore

*rolls up sleeves* ok. so this is the main one

but there's a bunch of stuff that like... implies he's. generally hyperaware of his health especially with how *often* he brings up stuff like this. putting it under a cut bc its long

i think his obsession with exercise and having an active lifestyle is not because it lets him be a better fighter or because he's vain about his appearance, though i do think both of those things contribute to it -- i think it's because he worries about his future health. "you'll turn into a big pile of mush when you get older" like hello. are you ok. majima is all about *investment* so this is just his way of investing in himself to save himself headaches in the future. and it's not like... abnormal for a person to be conscious of this like it's healthy and everything i just. don't think majima *can* be normal about it, especially considering how RECKLESS he is about his health when it comes to everything else. it's not just the way he fights, it's the fact that he smokes and drinks like crazy too. and i think he approaches it as a balancing act, with a "work hard play hard" sort of mentality. but at the end of the day he does not live like someone who cares about his own wellbeing, and yet he takes care of his health like this? THATS not normal to me

and there's of course the. which i think hes especially weird about because he denies that he has any problems with his sight just before he says that. he's like. my vision is fine i only have a missing eyeball thats it. think im getting farsighted though. which OBVIOUSLY doesnt count as having problems with your vision, because, yknow. because it just. doesnt. dont worry about it. and he says this about getting eye surgery too

and then there's this. which

like this sounds like SUCH a stretch i know but its still interesting to me that he has a mental catalogue in his head of "health problems a person can potentially experience" ALONG WITH how to get treatment for it ("they got clinics for that kind of thing"). like hes just gathering info about that and like. its kept in a mental archive for him to access later. "i saw something on tv about that" and you remembered. because it was important to you.

similarly it stood out to me that in the first screenshots, he talks about the biological mechanism behind the health benefits, so it seems like he actually reads about this stuff, like it's way beyond a surface-level interest. (unrelated but i also thought it was interesting that he mentioned "dioxides" in kiwami when talking about climate change)

also i think these are worth mentioning here

because i think it really shows how *aware* he is of like. dangers and how he takes precautions against them. and worries about other people not doing the same. yes i know this is literally everyone in the world ever, everyone is like this, BUT. again, he's like this *despite* being SO careless about his own safety!!!! like. WHAT is going on there. it's because i think fighting is an exception for him where he *allows* himself to be reckless about this. because he isn't any other time

and i think even this line about his hair which is saying something about how *particular* he is about his appearance

*can* translate into a similar attitude about his health too, like it may seem like a stretch but when you look at the big picture he is absolutely like. neurotically *thorough* about "body maintenance" stuff

theres a lot more lines you can view through this lens of. being really fussy about his body/health/appearance. but i dont think those count as "evidence" so much as like, stuff that makes sense in the big picture. obviously lots of people who are normal about their health couldve said any of these things in conversation but the conversations with saaya end up revolving around these topics *because* majima can't stop bringing it up. so instead of seeing them as isolated lines i think its useful to think of it in terms of. what does majima *prioritize* in life, in his thinking, what does he like to *talk* about. and this is what he literally cant shut up about. so

also this is firmly in hc territory but i can absolutely see majima as like. a hypochondriac who is very strict about his diet and exercise as a way to gain a sense of control over his anxiety about his health. not to mention the "payback" aspect of it all, for the year of torture he endured in the hole where he had absolutely no agency over his own body

anyway. hope this was insightful!! also. if you want to elaborate on your thoughts about majima being someone who cant stop fighting to survive. please feel free im v interested

[butchpeace]

Hey, I am a new follower here and uhhh.. I just want to ask you how did you manage to get rid of your gender dysphoria?

I never did transition and probably never will be able to because it is illegal in the country I currently live in. But the gender dysphoria remained there for years (8) even if I accept the fact that I will never be able to change my sex, along with my homosexuality.

So maybe it is a difference in experience, with me not being able to experience the harmful placebo of the "right body", but seeing other people expressing how they got themselves cured of severe mental distress makes me wish I knew how to do that.

So, thats why I want to ask, what lead to the cure of gender dysphoria? If it is a correct way to put it.

I don’t know if you’re male or female, but I assume female?

It’s less about “getting rid” of dysphoria and more about understanding what “gender dysphoria” actually is. That differs from person to person, but for most people it’s a combination of things.

For me it was:

1) The pain of growing up female in a world that either treated me as inferior or objectified me. Plain old misogyny.

2) The pain of growing up gay in a homophobic religion and society. Being basically taught during childhood that I was fundamentally different and wrong did a number on my ability to love myself. I’m 33 and it wasn’t until recently that I had any kind of self love.

3) The confusion of growing up gender non-conforming. Not feeling like I could relate to my female peers, feeling like an outsider, never meeting people like me or having any role models who I could see myself in. I didn’t have any kind of blueprint for what my life could be like as an adult - my only reference points for what life as a masculine lesbian would be were negative.

4) The constant anxiety of walking through the world as a gender non-conforming girl, and the way people treated me and acted around me. People don’t treat you well when you’re androgynous or clearly gay, and that led to anxiety and disliking being around people.

5) Feeling like I would be more lovable as a man, as it relates to relationship dynamics and gender roles. I had a feeling that I “made more sense” as a man.

Once I separated the feelings I was having from the idea of “gender dysphoria” as a stand-alone condition, I was able to see them individually for what they really are.

Those feelings were a normal response to being who I was in the world that I lived in.

Is my “gender dysphoria” cured? Depends how you look at it. Being female is still hard. Being a masculine lesbian is still hard. The way people look at me and treat me is still anxiety inducing. But none of that means I’m “supposed” to be a man, for some mystical reason that no one can scientifically explain. And I can work on improving things like my anxiety and self esteem individually.

To put it simply, being “trans” is the same thing as being butch. It’s all the same feelings women have always had, they’re just medicalizing it now instead of helping us learn to love ourselves. The only way to fix it is to build community, especially intergenerational community, and be with each other and be role models for each other.

Hope that helps! 🌈

[webothblackedout]

Dude what? Now I can’t unsee it. After reading your last ask. The seggs scenes do look like Lochlan on top having penetrative sex with Saxon 😳 because of the angles and how Chloe is obscured.

is that something our homophobic fratboi secretly wants? Reminds me of the Sam Rockwell monologue on Asian girl 😳 Mike White you are naughty, idk what else he is holding back.

I bet post canon Saxon’s sex life would be interesting ( assuming Lochlan doesn’t feature there anytime soon), he will have a different ( difficult?) experience jerking off, he will have different experience hooking up. In any case I can’t see his relationship with sex remaining the same.

in terms of whether or not saxon specifically wants to be topped sexually by lochlan, it really depends on who you ask. i, personally, interpret it more metaphorically. given saxon’s view of sex as one person imposing their will onto another person, i think the framing of the shots speaks mostly to saxon’s desire to exist outside of the prison of heterosexual masculinity that he’s lived his whole life in. lochlan feels no such pressure to conform to these social norms. of course, tim and saxon try to impose them on him (i think its interesting that he only ever actually tries when prompted by saxon, not tim, but thats kind of irrelevant to this specific point) but he never internalizes it and seems to actively resent it (recall his attitude toward the whole posture treatment thing which seemed, to me, to be a pretty thinly veiled way of telling lochlan to “straighten up”).

harkening back to the sam rockwell monologue, i think lochlan’s lack of respect and personal buy-in to the ratliff cult of masculinity in contrast to saxon is part of what provokes saxon’s behavior toward him. i think he’s confused and resentful of lochlan for not throwing himself at the altar of their father but also incredibly envious that he feels no pressure to be a mini tim. he spends all of eps 1-5 “fucking” lochlan (to use sam rockwell’s character’s choice of words) only to realize that maybe, what he really wants is to “be” lochlan (or at least stop chasing standards of heterosexual masculinity he’ll never achieve the way lochlan doesn’t)

obviously, saxon can never bring himself initiate a situation in which his masculinity is compromised (both in the sense that lochlan’s “will” triumphs over his own and that he participates in a gay sex act) so this creates a paradox because that also necessarily means he will have to take on a submissive position in the situation. i think this is the contradiction from which a lot of saxon’s internal strife ep 6— springs.

as for post canon, i do see lochlan ultimately featuring in saxon’s sex life quite soon after canon (as they have both already shown disinterest in “dropping it forever” despite that being the stated intention) but i do think there will be a period of denial and that could really go a number of ways. when we leave the ratliffs, saxon seems to really resent other people’s perceptions of him as some sex crazed pervert (although i’d argue that lochlan’s “you’re all about getting off” isn’t something lochlan actually believes, but the effect is the same regardless). because of this, i could easily see him becoming celibate for a bit (i’m making myself laugh rn imagining saxon’s r/nofap posts) and trying to figure out how he can assert his identity with sex off the table, can’t see that ending too well. i could also see him being super stressed with all the tim shit and bearing the burden of making sure his family is all okay and trying to find solace in the one thing that always worked pre thailand: anonymous sex with random women from bars. only for it to stress him out even more because it’s not scratching that itch the way it used to and, in fact, that itch gets bigger and more desperate every time he tries and maybe the sound of chelsea telling him that “once you have a spiritual connection with someone, you can’t go back to cheap sex” rings in his ears louder and louder every night. lots of possibilities! i think they all end in gay incest sex though

[positivelyhere]

Cw- suicide mentions

I'll always say discovering I'm trans was the greatest thing to happen to me. I would have killed myself. Plain and simple, I wasn't alive, I wasn't awake, I dissociated vaugly imaging all the ways I could die to finally feel something. The first sparks of my life were the fight to exist. Arbritrary rules on consciousness are a fool game.

The slow, happy realization there was More to life. There was Something More to Me. I love the Queer community, I want nothing to do with heternormative society. I love my people. Heteronormative society is not for me, I spent years trying to fit in, be a "normal boy", fuck that! That fucking sucked, life was still shallow and pointless trying to be what other wanted of me. Fuck that noise I do what I want of Me. I paint my nails, I wear skirts, I don't really care about getting top surgery, I'm 3 years on T, I got all ky documents changed, I am a man the way I fucking say it. Be mean about living your authentic self, fuck the sentative mother fuckers who fall apart seeing someone not like them, following them is like chasing shadows.

I love being Queer. I do what I want. I think therefor I am. I spent years answering invasive questions to the upmost scrutiny, never satisfying those around me no matter what I said. So I gave the fuck up. They ask shit it's always the same answer "cuz I do what I want and don't care". Don't let cishets make you believe you need to justify yourself. Because they're never fucking satisfied because their fucking stupid. It's like explaining the sea to people who have spent their whole lives in the desert. It's an emotionally draining waste of time! They will never understand, and instead of trying to belittle ourselves into their understanding, they need to comprihend only one simple thing "I am this way because thats how I am, you will never understand and thats not my problem".

We exist is so many different beautiful ways. Polciing is a cishet thing. "This identity doesn't make sense" who cares. "We are teying to get cishets to like us" they won't stop caring. Don't understand someone? Nod and walk away. You're allowed to think and feel anything, but no one should police the "correct way to experience life" because thats the dumbest thing I've ever heard.

You're Queer enough, nothings is a contradiction we all feel things differently. No one's experience can discredit our own and vice versa. Strict definitions and lines in the sand is cisheteronirmative thinking. We all want to Exist as Out True Selves without fear and scrutiny. Without violence and shame. These endless chases for approval are never going to work. Be proud, be mean, be authentic.

Love you❤️❤️❤️

[ollyissleepy]

(my short analysis on your new … post! male reader! (name)! skip or delete if you want, I just wanted to send you this because I truly enjoyed it !!)

MALE READER 😭😭 MALE 😭 READER 😭😭😭 MALE REARER 😭😭 MALE????? reader!?!?! MALE MALE READER READER??? DO MY EYES DECIEVE ME??? MALE READER IS REALL OH KY GOD!!! THANK YOU… FOR YJE FOOD. I HAVE BEEN STARVING SO BADLY OH KUVGOD YHABKVYOU SO MUCH 😭😭

ooohhhh…. my son… THATS MY SON GO AWAY BRUCE WAYNE THATS MY SON MY MY SON WHO WAS SO TRAUMATIZED BY HIS MOTHER’S DEATH AND LIVING IN GOTHAM THAT HE BEGAN EMOTINAL SUPPRESSION!!! GRIEF IS AN INTENSELY OVERWHELMING (and uncomfortable) EXPERIENCE AND ACKNOWLEDGING IT VERBALLY OR THROUGH MORE OBVIOUS EMOTIONAL EXPRESSION MIGHT FEEL TOO VULNERABLE OR DIFFICULT!!!

(name) simply not know how to cope with the depth of his loss, and as a result, he distances himself from his feelings 💔💔 auughhh my son…this reaction can also be indicative of avoidance coping….. GOTHAM CITY IS A PRISON!!! GET AWAY BRUCE WAYNE!!!! THAT BOY IS MY SON BY LAW AND BY GOD

The boy’s focus on “analysing the room” and checking for “every possible escape route” is, in my view, a way to yk like be in control. people who feel powerless or trapped often seek control over their environment in any way they can. For (Name), the manor represents a space where he has little agency or control. Entering a place where he feels like he "doesn't belong," coupled with Bruce's lack of attention, might make him feel abandoned or unimportant.

By finding escape routes, (Name) may be subconsciously trying to assert some control over his environment. Even if he cannot control the people around him or the circumstances, knowing that he can physically leave at any moment gives him a sense of safety. It’s a coping strategy that allows him to feel that, at least in some way, he can protect himself if things turn uncomfortable or threatening.

BUT this could also maybe maybe be a fear of being trapped or stuck ,, or a coping mechanism for anxiety !!!

I LOVE HIM SO MUCH AND THIS IS MY FIRST DAY

"Please, don't refer to me as 'young master'; it would mean a lot," titles like "young master" can create a sense of emotional separation between the child and the staff, which can be alienating. which (name) really really didn’t like that. the request suggests that he values emotional closeness and autonomy over societal norms and titles. For him, being addressed as "young master" likely brings up negative feelings about being infantilized or objectified. His request for Alfred to call him just "(name)" is a plea for equality and respect. to be seen as a person, not as a subordinate in a power dynamic. or idk maybe he js doesn’t want to associate with wayne’s terms and traditions because he truly doesn’t want to be apart of this family. based I would do the same

(name)’s refusal to accept new clothes from Alfred, “I would rather wear my own. It’s fine really. I could go back home to grab them tomorrow or something,” highlights a deep psychological need for control and consistency in an otherwise chaotic or unfamiliar world. For someone who is undergoing emotional upheaval (loss, displacement, or confusion), the one thing that can provide comfort and grounding is familiarity. By insisting on wearing his own clothes, he’s clinging to a small semblance of normalcy, something that ties him to his former life, even if that life is currently in flux.

also (name)’s insistence on retrieving in the next day implies that he is not fully ready to accept this ‘new home’. He might feel that accepting help or comfort from others is a form of surrender, relinquishing his autonomy. It also reveals his discomfort with the idea of relying on others, especially if his past has involved a lack of emotional support or trust in adults.

also by rejecting alfred’s offer of clothes is also likely symbolic of his attempts to retain control over his own life. Clothes are a very personal part of one’s identity; by holding onto his own, he may be trying to preserve a sense of self in the midst of what is likely a very disorienting situation. His refusal to accept help in the form of clothing, especially something as simple as a wardrobe change, indicates a desire to retain ownership of his identity.

ALSO!! "Please, don't," when Alfred suggests offering clothes, seems to be an attempt to avoid any unnecessary act of kindness or care that might make him feel vulnerable or indebted. His rejection of Alfred's offer could be linked to a fear of dependency or vulnerability. He might fear that accepting something as simple as clothes could lead to further emotional entanglement that he’s not yet ready for.

it also could tide to the element of shame? maybe? Depending on his circumstances, (name) could be feeling deeply uncomfortable about being seen as someone in need. I mean,, can you blame him? he has been living his life stealing with a single mother ..) Accepting Alfred's help could be seen as an acknowledgment that he’s in a vulnerable position, and for some individuals, this is difficult to accept, particularly if they’ve been taught to conceal or suppress their emotions.

By offering a vague excuse, like “I could go back home to grab them tomorrow or something,” (name) is trying to save face. He doesn't want to admit that the situation is distressing or that he's not comfortable in this new environment yet. The attempt to downplay it by suggesting he’ll get clothes tomorrow is a defense mechanism, trying to maintain a facade of normalcy and independence even though he feels displaced.

ANYWAYS !!! THANK YOU!!! FOR THE FOOD!! i really enjoyed analyzing him…. alrho if i meet (name) he probably slap me in the face . i know im ridiculous for analyzing the most simplest rhings but i cant help it

first of all I love when people analyse my works, it makes my entire day

yes it is a male!reader as I am also nothing more that a starved man

GOTHAM CITY IS A PRISON!!! GET AWAY BRUCE WAYNE!!!! THAT BOY IS MY SON BY LAW AND BY GOD

that part made me giggle ngl

also good job at noticing the way reader looks for a way to escape as both this and the scene when he rejects clothes from Alfred are both a way he tries to grab the control of his situation

reader not wanting to be called 'young master' will be explained further into the story but you were correct on some parts of your observation, you'll just have to wait and find out on which parts haha

I can't say much about the way you analysed reader's reaction to Alfred's offer for clothes and the fact that he wants to go back alone to get his own clothes as it would be a major spoiler but I do believe that you'll be in for a ride in the next part that's for sure

anyway

I'm so glad that you enjoyed the first part!! it means everything to me

also don't worry, (name) would probably beat the shit out of me if he had a chance to meet me, you're safe…. for now

[impcstcrsyndrcme]

The following post is a little rant about somethings that annoy me a little in the PJO rp scene (some happen in other fandoms too) or that my mind can't wrap around and make it make sense. Its just my opinion and in no form directed to anyone specific or trying to start drama, please don't start drama over silly shit. You've been warned. And i'm sorry in advance for the holy bible of a vent it is lol

✿ Honestly it makes no sense to me the idea that a young teen demigod, would be cabin leader if they don't show major responsibility and leadership skills over an older demigod that is there longer and have more experience. Honestly. And i don't mean that a younger person would not be responsible or could not be a good cabin leader, but they have to fit in the role or at least openly not like to be in it. It just don't make sense someone who basically don't care and it's 15-16 to be apointed leader.

✿ Other thing that bothers me a little is that is hard as fuck to find muses over 17... Like demigods can become adults and still be/stay at camp, honestly I believe this would be quite common for demigods that practically grew up at camp and don't have much experience outside besides missions. Of course I think after they have a serious relationship and plan to have kids that would change but I have a headcannon that someone would start a little village/residential area close to camp, so they can continue living in their comfort zone but with more privacy. Like maybe a place with smaller cabins or a building they'd go home to but once the day starts again, they go back to camp and basically work there.

✿ Also the amount of demigods from the big three. "Hey andy, this is a little hypocritical of you to say. You have demigods of all the big three" yeah, I know. Its just a little weird to see so many and this is just because on my old platform people prefer to keep them to a minimal because of the background of the books and all that.

✿ The last is how sometimes the characters appearance and powers don't seem to match their godly parents. Like, every god have a set of most common skills, traits and powers they pass along to their children, as in, most of their offspring will show them all or a mix of them. While they also have the more rare skills, traits and powers, that are EXCEPTIONS, so a small number of their children will have them. And there are also the things that they don't pass along or are not within their range or being, so it would not make sense that their children would have it. Like for example: poseidon kids will most of the times have green, or blue, eyes and dark hair. Or for Aphrodite's kids that most of the times are either romantic, sensual and/or care a lot about their appearance, also playing with others feelings. These are common traits, of course there are exceptions to every rule, but they should be that... Exceptions. If everyone are different, than are not exceptions anymore. That also includes how some gods don't have children at all for mythology/history reasons, like hera, hebe, artemis and hestia.

Okay those were fandom things that bothered me, but the following are specific roleplay things.

✿ I don't mind at all my partners age as far as interacting go, I don't have a DNI based on age only. But that being said, I wish people would put their age group on their blogs! And I don't mean the exact age, just a "minor" or "adult" or maybe "18+" or "21+" just so I (and others) know how to be respectful and act accordingly. I'll not send adult shit to minors and I would not feel good the other way around too. But it gets hard to do that if I dont know your age. "But andy, you can see the muse age..." Thats not the same! There is minors who have adult muses and adults who have minor muses. Its tricky when it don't need to be.

✿ I feel like a lot of people don't show interest in actually writing or roleplaying, this may be just a personal take, but if you constantly answer with only: "hm", "hi", "good"... Or half a dozen words that don't have any hook or action, thoughts, etc. If feels bad! It feels for me like you don't care or don't want to be there, like I'm the only one trying to write something with a meaning or an idea to keep going. It makes ME feel bad and I then drop the idea of interacting because it feels bad and pointless.

✿ This last point is just something I don't personally understand the appeal but I get that its just personal taste. I don't get the idea of a character blog, like it is still an online blog but as if the person behind it was the character writing on their computer the posts. I personally don't understand it, but thats just about me.

That was it I guess. Again, this is just a rant/vent about things from my end, its not personal or directed towards anyone specifically. Don't start drama! But feel free to comment here about it so we can discuss it, if you want to.

[cloudstarcats]

Exposition and Handling a New World:

So, i've been thinking of writing a couple isekai/transmigration/time-travel/reincarnation novels for a while now, mostly because I am fascinated by how different they would be, as I'm aware the major tropes and stories come from a different culture than mine. (I'm American, born and raised (i'm so tired), and most of these tropes I find in asian centric media that's become more popular in my part of the world thanks to the internet).

And while doing this, I've come upon some interesting criticism and ideas about the genre thanks to this youtuber (Matty Bites), who brings up a lot of good points I struggle with when writing, and also makes me question a lot of tropes!

so the major thing I'm thinking of right now is that trope where the main character, aka our narrator and audience eye, becomes the exposition center for the entire plot. That and the fact the narrator is somehow totally fine with their reincarnation and not freaking out!

So In thinking I have two great examples of main characters who handle both these issues in ways I want to remember for my own writing: Edith from "Not your typical reincarnation" and Shen Yuan from "Scum Villain Self Saving System"

So, let's start with Edith, because I love her!

So, Edith is a character from a popular Webtoon "Not Your Typical Reincarnation Story", which I've been reading for a while now and absolutely love. Her story is one I find less trope-y and more fresh in a sea of character tropes and repeated story plots. For a better dissection on her, I recommend this video my Matty Bites: https://youtu.be/oiNJNVgyMO4?si=CAtALShJuZB_tnrZ

As Matty points out, Edith handles her new life in a way that is very different to most protagonists: she starts doing hobbies! And thats such a small detail, but it's lowkey my favorite thing? When given the chance to live a new life, one of luxury unlike her previous one, she takes the time to go out shopping, see what people her age in this time like, and take up the common hobbies of the time even though she has no experience. It's very relatable in that sense; in a world based on a cheesy Romance story she was reading, she finds the small things of life and decides to learn them.

Edith also handles the other characters differently than most other main characters I've seen. Edith is aware that side characters, or characters not often mentioned by name in the novel, are strangers to her. Thus, she doesn't treat them as disposable, but rather as real people. Her transition to accepting her role as Edith is quick, but also carries the weight that she sees characters as people first and foremost. I think the way she handles this change is in fact by starting out with the smaller, lesser known characters: people she doesn't have a basis for and thus should try to understand anyways. By doing so, it's probably easier for her to then see Killian and the other "major" characters as real people and not just fictional characters. It makes her transition all the easier.

We also get a good explanation as to why Edith is acting as exposition: in the beginning, it is because she is remembering the details of the text, like most main characters do. This was her favorite shitty Romance novel after all, she wan't to talk about it. As time continues, her exposition is less her explaining things the audience already knows, and more so her explaining conclusions she and the audience are coming to in a way to wrap up the final thoughts. When a mystery occurs, she acts as the detective, explaining the overall details to ensure she and the audience are on the same page. She also uses exposition to justify her own actions: recalling moments from the original text to then give her ideas on what to do during the day; "Oh, here is exposition on how Killian works out nearly every day... I should go watch him train!" Because Edith now has free time and lowkey wants to oogle her husband lol.

The exposition tapers off to instead fit the flow of story. I like it a lot, it feels natural, and it doesn't drag me out of the story.

now, what about Shen Yuan?

Look, I love the guy, but he has issues. The main thing about Shen Yuan and how he handles transmigrating into SVSSS is that he does so in a very unhealthy way; a fact the fandom loves discussing. Almost opposite to Edith, Shen Yuan does not start out by seeing any of the characters of SVSSS as people, but rather remains seeing them as characters. He creates a boundary between himself and his new role as Shen Qingqiu, becoming an unreliable narrator as he dismisses and pushes away his own thoughts and feelings for the sake of saving his own mental during the plot.

As opposed to Edith, who accepts she is now the character Edith Rudwick and thus takes full acceptance that while she may not have done those actions, she can't act as if they never happened- Shen Yuan tries very hard to act as if he and Shen Qingqiu are separate people and have never been the same. As pointed out, this is why the Peak Lords view Shen Qingqiu to be possessed, as he has changed so drastically.

In this sense, Shen Yuan handles his acceptance into this world Very Badly, but in a way that makes sense for his character. It takes him a while to accept that he is no longer Shen Yuan, and he has to accept his role as Shen Qingqiu. now, i haven't finished SVSSS so I may be wrong there, but I do believe that Shen Yuan's actions and coping mechanisms makes sense.

This is also why his use of exposition makes sense! Unlike Edith, who was a normal fan if not a little more into her story than a normal reader, Shen Yuan is explicitly described as someone who loves PIDW, to the point where he pays for early access and has a deep knowledge of almost every mentioned characters, plot, plant, etc.

Because of this, his reaction to transmigrating and his use of exposition makes a lot of sense: He's read this trope before, and as a nerd has thought of how he'd handle it based on all the stuff he's read about it. He also likes to exposit to himself, mainly because he likes to rant, which is seen literally chapter 1. His exposition and his reaction to transmigrating (staying calm and internally panicking, or breaking down later in private) is VERY in character for him.

Overall, these two character's highlight different ways to have your main character react to transmigration, react to characters, and handle exposition that make the stories feel better. I never felt like it was jarring to read exposition in either of these, because I personally found the exposition to make sense with the characters. I also liked the way it showed them acclimating; full acceptance vs a mental barrier, and how that remained in character for each.

For future writing, I want to keep this all in mind. How do I write exposition in a way that actually feels natural to the world? How should my character's actually respond to transmigration or reincarnation, and how does that reflect on their personal character's and backstory? It can be a tricky first step, because the start of a story is always exposition, and I don't want a reader to drop my story because it's boring, or hand holding them. I want them to read it and go "this is good, this makes sense, and this makes me interested".

[saintetheldreda]

theres this part of no longer human that really stuck in my mind where yoko and horiki play a game where someone says a word and the other says the opposite, but theyre sort of playing with the definitions of words, the opposite of a word can be a word that is seemingly completely unconnected with it, eg the opposite of entrails is milk, and it doesnt make sense by definition, but the opposition is somehow unspoken. and its a part of the book that stuck in my mind the most and i wasnt sure why

and i think now its because to me it shows how so much of human meaning is built off of being exclusionary. we know what one word means because its not that other thing. not because we actually know what that word means. you know? theres a placid lazy acceptance of human ignorance where you can get away with not really knowing what something is just by knowing what its not. and society is a very lazy, unthinking thing built on efficiency in dazai's eyes (remember the bridge from the first chapter? hes enchanted by it at first cause he thinks it exists for its own merits, because its beautiful and fun to climb, and then loses interest in it when he realises its functional for some other purpose) so thats how it constructs its meaning

(which is a detail of the novel that i love, by the way, the idea that just being unthinking and unbothered and oblivious can end up inflicting on people the absolute severest cruelty, and people don't appreciate that enough, which is how yozo kind of ends up society's secret, hidden victim)

and it just hit me i think the reason why this struck me so much is, like, thats what my severest depressive episodes are exactly like. which is a pattern of the novel honestly, articulating things about me that i didnt even know were there in the clearest and calmest language possible and startling the ever loving shit out of me by doing so (lol)

but okay let me explain its like

when my depression is really, really bad, i experience this sort of severe near blinding agony (i know lol its yikes) because every single thing around me feels weaponised against me. i cant listen to music (which i love) cause every artist hates me and every lyric is about experiences i couldnt possibly be allowed to relate to, i cant watch tv or a movie for the same reason, i cant even look around me, like, nature doesnt appear to me like its supposed to appear according to how people describe it so i cant look outside, i cant look at a wall because im probably interpreting the colour "wrong" i cant look at a person because theyre everything im not etc etc in short everything in the world is not meant for me and is trying to push me out. its like the world is all one big coherent painting and ive been painted in in the wrong brushtrokes and i just should not be there

if this sounds batshit just bear in mind i have a very severe form of depression and also for the record its NOT TRUE lol its like a delusional thing im actually a very lovely and perfectly valid person with normal experiences bar the depression

but the reason why no longer human is not just an account of someones delusional mental illness but a commentary on society and culture is because social culture plays a part in this too, if you feel different and all of social meaning is based on exclusion rather than things being understood on their own terms, then its so easy to feel trapped

if only culture, cultural codes, the thinking habits of individuals and society in general were just less automatic, and everything was considered on its own terms rather than measured against a template then i think it a lot less people would feel so crazy and insane

cause yozo cant escape the necessity of exclusion of difference to the very fabric of the world and society he lives in, its not even as simple as allowing himself to be different - either he is different and excludes himself, and everything has meaning (because meaning is based on exclusion), or he accepts his existence, and everything ceases to have meaning (because nothing means anything if its not defined by what the parameters leave out). he feels so trapped and that feeling is just so real honestly