#exercise recap

[retrokid616]

ormy saying stuff him and fearune did in EXU

fearune

[couchtorunnerbee]

charity swimming - RECAP

[skpoem]

[urlocal-limitesshbic]

*.˗ˏˋ Use DEILD to enter the void in secondsˎ˗.*

~featuring a lucid dreamer’s unintended success story I found on YouTube~

Incoming Topics..

*PART 1 <RECAP: What is Deild? >*

*PART 2 < The success story >*

*PART 3 < How to use DEILD for the Void >*

*PART I < What is the DEILD method? > *

If you haven’t read my original post on DEILD I have linked it down below towards the end of this one. I recommend checking it out for an in depth tutorial on the method, but I’ll give a quick explanation here as well-

To put it simply, it is a technique that is traditionally used to get fast and easy lucid dreams. Upon waking you lie still and keep your eyes closed, tricking your body into thinking that you never woke up and then within seconds the dream reforms except now you’re aware in it! You can also create a new dream or you might enter a false awakening which becomes a lucid dream. This method works SO QUICKLY it’s seriously like a LD method shortcut!

I’ve heard of lucid dreamers talking about the void before but after watching a YouTubers video about a lucid dream he had, I realized he actually used the DEILD technique to go straight to the void in SECONDS, unintentionally! Which is something I hadn’t thought about doing before-merging the lucid dream technique WITH 👏🏼 THE VOID 👏🏼 TECHNIQUES!! 👏🏼 So for those of you attempting to enter the void state from a lucid dream, this can be used as a SHORTCUT on top of a SHORTCUT! 🙌🏼 Yes ma’ammmm y’all seriously need to come try this one out because when I say SECONDS I’m talking secondsss-no more waiting 20 minutes for your left brain to turn off, no more long breath work exercises or reality checks or hours of lying still, affirming, no more battling with creating portals-the void can be EFFORTLESS and induced in under a minute.

*PART 2 < The lucid dreamer’s success story> *

There’s this lucid dreamer on YouTube called TIGER123 who posts about lucid dreaming techniques and his own lucid dream experiences- he actually has a video tutorial on DEILD as well (which is linked in my OG DEILD post)

So, I was at work looking for something to watch and saw he posted a new video about a lucid dream he had recently. Well, I can tell you wasn’t expecting him to literally open the video by talking about how he woke up from a regular dream, realized it was the perfect opportunity to perform DEILD and get lucid, and then. AS HE’S PERFORMING DEILD. He enters the void! Just like that. While he was in the void he visualized the dream scene he wanted to be in and he said he was there within 10 seconds. Aka he instantly manifested entering the exact lucid dream he wanted to be in, from the void state.

This is someone who doesn’t believe in shifting or astral projection, wasn’t trying to enter the void, thinks the void is just an unformed lucid dream space that can be used to form a new lucid dream, doesn’t know you can manifest from that state and yet STILL got in and STILL manifested. Since he viewed the void as a place he can form a new lucid dream thats what he did. He still manifested instantly, he just MANIFESTED going from the VS to being in a lucid dream. This should just go to show you guys how REAL the void state is, because someone who doesn’t even know about it and wasn’t trying to get in STILL did it. (SO CAN YOU btw)

The void isn’t a concept created on tumblr. Lucid dreamers have experienced it for years, meditators experience it, yogis, followers of Neville Goddard and multiple religious practices do too; It’s just called by different names and defined differently, but all the experiences describe the same thing. So if tumblr success stories aren’t trustworthy enough to you, or motivating enough-expand your research and find hundreds of stories similar to this one-lucid dreamers thinking it’s just an unformed dream and yogis thinking it’s just a really relaxing deep meditative state etc…

*PART 3< How To Use DEILD to enter the VS> *

I linked the video at the bottom, he doesn’t really talk about the void much or deild because the video is about the actual contents of the dream he had, but the part he does talk about it is right at the beginning, the first 30 seconds or so, if you’re curious in checking it out but this is pretty much what he said about it, written out-

“First I was in a space dream and then I woke up and kind of realized I had just woken up from a dream and was able to stay still and kind of reenter into it and fall back asleep and I ended up in the void. You know that like complete blackness where it’s really easy to reform the dream and since I was there I figured I would just try to go to the beach because when I’m in this void state I can really go anywhere I want. I just reformed the beach and I ended up on the exact beach I was imagining in like 10 seconds.”

So boom. Thats’s it thats ALL. That simple. So here’s the exact steps to do if you want to enter the void through DEILD too and be the next success story:

Before bed: affirm “I will remember to stay still upon awakening. I will effortlessly enter the void using DEILD” or some variation of this (optional)

Visualize yourself waking up, staying still, and entering the void state (optional)

Go to sleep, with the calm certainty that this will work.

Wake up. Keep your eyes closed and lie still

You can keep a blank mind and wait, trusting that your subconscious will induce the void automatically, since you already set the intention the night before

5a. Or right after waking, with your eyes closed you can begin affirming that you are pure consciousnes and imagine yourself already in the void, or imagine yourself sinking gently down into the void state until you are truly there. This method is so effective you should be in the state within a minute or less.

And remember, the void state can’t be forced, just like sleep can’t be forced. All you can do is create the right conditions for it to occur naturally. It’s okay if you don’t get it right away. Focus on trust, not control. Avoid over analyzing whether it’s working while you’re performing the technique, just allow it to flow and happen. You saw he just literally lied still waiting for the dream to form and then he was in. It’s that effortless. Give it a go and report back in the comments 🫶🏼 Happy enteringgg

[demonir]

New Doctor Who fan in 2025? Geez man talk about being late to the party, somebody give this guy a recap of the past 60 years please

Lmao jokes aside hi I drew these like a month ago, you can have them now. They started out as simple doodles and then I got too in the zone so I went back to sorta color all of them, it was a really fun exercise! I should try that again.

[madlori]

On Tommy Kinard

"It's not that I don't like Buck and Tommy, it's just happening so fast, he's underdeveloped!"

*clears throat*

Here is a recap of what we know about Tommy. And this is just off the top of my head, I didn't rewatch anything.

He was closeted at the 118 before and found the atmosphere repressive. He (probably) acted like a dick to fit in. When presented with the chance to make things better, he took it, and developed positive relationships with Hen, Chim and Bobby.

He was in the army and trained there as a pilot.

He knows Muay Thai and has a set up in his house.

He likes to work on cars and has a lift at his house (where TF does he live is my question - he has some nerve being agog at Buck's loft if he has a muay thai gym and a car lift)

He is down for violating departmental policy at the drop of a hat (has done so on at least two occasions) to help a friend and has no problems fucking with the fire chief.

He is a nerd. He likes pub trivia and has incorrect Star Wars opinions, and can keep up with Chim in the movie-quoting department.

His favorite movie is "Love, Actually" and he likes craft beer and monster trucks.

He came out when he transferred to Harbor and felt comfortable enough to stop lying about who he was.

He follows MMA and has friends in Vegas who like him well enough to hook him up to a frankly insane degree.

He'll risk his own life and engage in helicopter skulduggery to save people he doesn't know...I mean, apart from doing that for a living.

He'll take time out of his day to give a tour to the cute boy who called him up and offer to give that boy flying lessons (a significant time investment) which was probably maybe about more one on one time with said boy.

He yearns for the belonging and found family that the 118 became after his departure and probably befriended Eddie hoping to earn a plate at the cookout, aside from just clicking with him.

He likes Eddie and Chris a lot and they like him. Chimney also likes him.

He was attracted to Buck right away and was emotionally aware enough to pick up on Buck's jealous feelings over Eddie and his friendship, even if he was surprised that it was him Buck wanted to get to know.

He respects and values Buck and Eddie's friendship and wanted to make sure Buck knew that.

He's brave enough to shoot his shot by planting one on a dude.

He's a lil bitchy but also generous and ready to throw in with this insane guy who's inviting him to a family wedding after 0.5 dates.

He showed up to a bachelor party when he was on call because Buck asked him to, then showed up in turnouts after fighting a fire for like 12 hours yadda yadda we all know this part.

He has got it BAD for one Evan Buckley, who he only calls "Evan" which according to LFJR is a conscious decision by the writers, which fascinates me.

He was willing to take a chance with a man just discovering his sexuality BUT wasn't willing to put himself through that if the man in question wasn't ready for it. When Buck showed him that he was, he was all in.

He does NOT take his coffee like that.

Oh and

He's a beast.

This is VASTLY more information than we knew about ANY of Buck's previous girlfriends with the possible exception of Abby. Even Taylor did not get this much development over 20 episodes (things we knew about her: she was an ambitious and ethically flexible reporter, did not eat fudge, had a dad in jail, and sometimes jogged for exercise, she was capable of being nice and did love Buck, I believe). And as for it being fast? Sometimes it just be like that? A relationship doesn't have to have year(s) of buildup. Sometimes people do just meet, like each other, and start dating, in fact in the real world that's usually what happens. It's in TV Land that you have to have eighteen seasons of UST before pulling the trigger. Most of the time in reality people just vibe off each other and decide to go out and THEN they learn about each other.

And they've got a great start. You'd think they'd barely spoken by how a few naysayers are talking about it - the loft scene was like a solid five minutes of very open conversation, the Cringe Date seemed to have gone well and again, open and honest (if cringey) conversation before Cockblocker Eddie showed up, and the coffee meetup was again....open and honest conversation. They're not gonna show us long scenes of them exchanging firefighting stories and workout preferences (I mean, I'd watch that, but it's not what the show is about).

In conclusion, anyone saying he's poorly developed or the relationship is "out of nowhere" either is being willfully obtuse or has ridiculously unrealistic expectations for relationships and/or what constitutes character development.

As for whether they have chemistry, that's a matter of subjective opinion. Given that a TON of people watched that harbor tour scene (even when it was posted as a sneak peek) and started going "wait...what's going on here...are they flirting??" might be a clue. People were talking about Bi!Buck maybe happening with Tommy based solely off that clip of the harbor tour and what they were seeing between them. And imho that loft scene was crackling. But we all see things through the lenses of our biases, myself included.

Got that off my chest, whew.

[mageofquandrix]

Look, I know we all joke about Emmrich, but let's recap this man's schedule immediately before the romance scene: (spoilers, obviously)

fought Ghilan'nain 

fade prison recovery efforts

curse diagnostics

banged Rook (within an inch of their life if Rook the next morning is anything to go on) in a coffin

got up an hour before dawn to exercise.

offers to get Rook breakfast (or possibly went back in the coffin for round 2)

His hips are fine.

[sorryimananti-romantic]

The Leaders | Chapter XI

"lies, control, rules, numb, hatred, emptiness."

masterlist

ot8!ateez x f!reader, mafia au

chapter warnings: drinking, smoking, illegal businesses, mentions of war/military, drugs, gangs and corruption, things get fluffy with woogi, angst levels up with hj, smut mdni! (fingering, overstimulation), mention of bombing.

chapter wc: 10.7k

chapter synopsis: you continue to deal with clients at the warehouse with wooyoung and mingi and you find solace in each other’s company amidst the tough times. you meet ji chang wook of the sirens with hongjoong who helps you formulate a plan– to get assemblyman wi on your side before president lee does. in between all of this, you suspect that hongjoong and seonghwa are hiding something from you. seonghwa assures you that they will tell you when it’s time and you spend the night with him. things take a dark, dangerous turn, creating confusion and chaos.

prev chapter recap: you meet president son and lady kim with hongjoong and they confirm that they are the anonymous funders of the weapons channel. they also share their suspicions of president lee regarding president han’s assassination and reveal that he is the man behind strictland’s nuclear ops. you and lady kim share your fond memories of president han and she takes an interest in your pearl ring. hongjoong reveals that the sirens answer to president son and they have a meeting scheduled with them now. as per president son’s request, you find yourself with winter, an rv spy, as your bodyguard. you go to the warehouse and start to deal with unsatisfied clients with wooyoung and mingi. among them is ju seok tae, the nephew of mr. jang of eden news. hongjoong and seonghwa begin to look into your mother’s pearl ring with sunmi of maddox and co. and discover that all records of the ring’s purchase are absent which raises suspicion.

For most of your life, you had believed that there was a stark difference between the elites of Eden and the common man. 

There was no way that the elites breathed the same air, walked on the same ground and looked at the same sky as the common man. Those were the people of struggle and loss, of constraints and darkness. As someone living in Edenary which was a safe haven for the elites, you did not need to fret about the people that dwelled elsewhere. They could never look you in the eyes, your father told you, because you were an elite.

They did. They looked you in the eyes whenever and wherever you encountered them– be it in Edenary itself, in the warzones where your status meant nothing, or even post-treaty when they carried the burden of rebuilding Eden. They looked you in the eyes and showed you that as an elite, you shared the same struggles and constraints. You were not different. They were simply more empathetic than you because they did not choose to exercise their power to create a distinction between humans.

There was something about the common man that always pulled you in– your attention was always drawn towards how freely they laughed, as if they had no care in this world, as if the weight of this world wasn’t on their shoulders. The crescendo of their laughter was enough to make you realise that Edenary was not the paradise that the elites made it out to be. Edenary was a bound city where every man was on his own. It was a place where the people dressed their finest to hide the ugliness they carried within their souls. It was a place where you couldn’t really exhale loudly, lest people learned the secrets that your breath threatened to carry away with the wind. 

Edenary was a prison. You realised that your circumstances weren’t unique– each family in Edenary was caged in the walls of their homes, the walls that were built on the blood of the innocent. Each individual in Edenary carried with them the sins of their forefathers. Some carried those sins in their proud smiles or watchful eyes. Others attempted to conceal them with soft words and gentle touches. But there was one thing that these two shared– the fact that they were proud to be here, despite everything.

And that pride was a double-edged sword, and double-edged swords often turned on their wielders especially when the wielder found themselves surrounded by predators.

There was only one predator in the room right now, and it was you. Seated in the centre of the small, dark office room at the warehouse with only a card table separating you was your client, who was currently pretending that the bead of sweat trickling down his temple wasn’t annoying him. You swirled the red wine in your glass casually before shifting in the chair so your client got a brief glance of the two daggers and a gun snug on the belt against your thigh. 

You fixed your leather jacket and concealed the weapons when you were sure that he got a good look.

“It’s quite simple, Mr. Kudo,” you clasped your hands on top of your knees, not breaking eye contact. “You will lose more if you back out of your deal now. You should be a gentleman and keep your word, don’t you think?”

“The weapons project might shut down for good,” he warned with wide eyes. “There’s been rumours about the network closing. As someone from Utopia, I have to make sure that my country does not get involved if they start arresting everyone who’s been funding the project.”

“That will not happen, I assure you,” you replied calmly. “If that was the case, the identity of the person who got arrested for funding us would have been exposed. Isn’t that right?”

Mr. Kudo contemplated over his cigarette, shifting uncomfortably. “You’ll guarantee that if things start to take the right direction, me and my client can back out of funding before Utopia’s name gets dragged in the mud?”

“Absolutely,” you assured him. “In fact, we will be terminating our contracts with all foreign parties to ensure their animosity if things look bleak. Before any damage can occur.”

“And what’s the guarantee of that? How can I trust you?”

“The same way that I did not shoot you in the head when you walked in instead of your client and demanded that we hear you out. We excused your spies trespassing here– they’re still alive if you wish to take them back. Barely, might I add. I’d be making my decisions quickly if I were you, Mr. Kudo.”

You had to admit– you had a knack for negotiating, and seeing the man squirm and look as if he was about to burst the veins on his head was oddly satisfying. He nodded in resignation and you refrained from passing another comment on the man’s bruised ego, shaking hands and signalling Winter who had been stationed in the corner to let his spies go.

Winter accompanied the man outside and when he disappeared, you let out a big sigh, grinning when Wooyoung and Mingi walked inside, looking proud.

“We heard everything– it was a struggle to keep Wooyoung from laughing out loud,” Mingi said, shaking his head in amusement. 

“You did well!” Wooyoung patted your shoulder. “I told you this would work.”

What he meant by that was the leather, the weapons on display on your belt, and the bold red lipstick. According to Wooyoung, any man would get intimidated by such a combination, and you had to admit that he was right. 

“Plus, you look awfully hot,” Wooyoung tugged at your chin affectionately and you rolled your eyes but smiled anyway.

“I might do this more often. I feel confident in this getup,” you said, assessing your form. If all it took for men to get intimidated and fold under your glare was a daring outfit choice and the confidence that came along with it, you would definitely be doing this again. Winter came back and you smiled gratefully at her– the idea was Wooyoung’s, but it was Winter who got you prepared for tonight. 

A master spy for sure. You felt like you were wearing another skin during the meeting, and perhaps, that’s what you needed to do from now on. Wear different skins and trick people into granting your wishes.

“Well, this concludes the last client for this month?” You asked, recalling the list mentally. You had been dealing with a number of clients in the past two weeks, dividing and conquering for the most part. 

“Yes, looks like we’re finally getting a breather,” Mingi said as he adjusted his jacket. “Are you going back to the office?”

“Yeah, I need to report back and get updated about the other matters,” you pursed your lips. “Can’t talk about it on the phone– Seonghwa said the line might be tapped.”

“He wouldn’t be wrong,” Wooyoung agreed, the three of you moving out of the warehouse to the break area. “We usually rely on an informant doing the job for us and relaying messages when we fear getting tapped.”

“Oh? Who’s your informant?”

“Usually some kids from the orphanage, or one of the RV spies if they cooperate,” Wooyoung eyed Winter who was currently out of earshot, drinking from a can of beer. “Jaemin and Renjun could do that job for you– the pair is the best when it comes to trading information, and they’re reliable and inconspicuous. They’d give the RV spies some competition, I bet.”

“Jaemin and… Renjun?” You asked, the second name unfamiliar.

“Renjun is also one of the kids from the orphanage. I’ll see what he’s up to these days, but you can use them even if you’re back at the office and want to send us a quick message,” Mingi said and you nodded. The kids must really be trustworthy then. 

“Yeah, I have to get back to the office for the meeting with the Sirens, but I’ll probably need the kids to relay messages once I’m back here.”

“And when are you planning to leave, sweetheart?” Wooyoung asked. “Want me to drop you off?”

“I’ll get back with Winter in my own car tomorrow, and hopefully squeeze in a nap before things get hectic,” you passed Wooyoung a knowing look and he stifled a smirk, making Mingi laugh out loud. “I mean… we have the rest of the evening free, right? What are you up to?”

“I don’t know,” Wooyoung shrugged, “No plans… yet. I don’t think you want to go practising again.”

You groaned– you had been doing plenty of shooting practising with the boys and basic self defence with Winter in your free time here. That involved you getting roughed up in the process and while it was not a very enjoyable experience, it was necessary.

“We could go to the beach if you feel like it,” Mingi suggested.

“The beach?” You straightened. “I mean, if we’re all free,” you said and the boys nodded eagerly. “I would love to.”

The drive had to be more than an hour long, but it felt shorter because Mingi and Wooyoung kept you engaged in discussion, talking about everything but business. They managed to wring out details about your life in Edenary which you weren’t reluctant to share, just a bit hesitant since it really wasn’t much except a brooding father and an annoying brother. 

You told them about how Sector 1 and Edenary felt like two different worlds sometimes, but you had never felt as if you were free in Edenary. Somehow, Edenary was more suffocating which you realised on your trip with Hongjoong and Seonghwa back when you were to make the deal with Tiffany.

In exchange, you also managed to hear some stories from their past. Wooyoung told you about his family who lived in Sector 2, away from all the mess of the Crescents. He was on good terms with his family, as were the rest of the Crescents, and he often paid visits.

You learned that Wooyoung was Yeosang’s friend from before the war and as a strategist, he encountered Hongjoong which was how he met the rest of the boys. He was surprised to learn that you and Mingi were in the same squad and he was pretty sure you must have encountered paths with Mingi as a medic, since apparently, Mingi was usually the one who had to get nursed most often. While both of you did not recall ever encountering each other, it was still a nice thought. 

“It’s not that he got hurt often,” Wooyoung teased, earning a smack from Mingi who was driving tonight. “He just loved being nursed. He claims that he met every nurse in his squad which was quite a handful, right?”

“Must be why he does not recall seeing me then,” you pouted. 

“And why do you not recall seeing me? If we ever met, that is,” Mingi questioned.

“Because you have changed so much since,” you laughed at the memory of the photo that he showed you not long ago. “You were just a scrawny lad back then.”

“And now?” Wooyoung questioned, craning his neck back with a deep smirk to see how you would respond.

“Now…” you folded your arms, catching Mingi’s eye in the rearview mirror. “Scrawny grownup lad?”

“Unfair,” he muttered and Wooyoung shook his head.

“You’re a man now, that’s what she means,” Wooyoung explained and you hummed in agreement. Mingi was a man now– tall, strong and handsome. Nothing like the kid that he was during the war.

You finally reached the sandy shores that bordered Sector 2, the sea a bit clearer here since it was quite a distance from the port. You could still spot a few boats and ships in the distance, illuminated by the half moon that pulled the tides, making them crash loudly against the rocks. You shut your eyes and breathed deeply, relishing the smell of the salty waves with a smile.

“Why the lack of people?” You wondered, though you weren’t complaining.

“It’s kind of dangerous during the night. The tide is unpredictable,” Wooyoung explained. “But it’s always crowded during the day, and especially during the weekends.”

“Look,” Mingi pointed in the distance at a group of people. “Some people still come at night but it’s better to stay away from the waves.”

“Ah,” you pursed your lips. “Can we at least walk on the shore?”

“Definitely,” Wooyoung took one hand and Mingi took the other, almost in synchronisation. “We are your guards. We won’t let you drown.”

“If you let me go,” you warned as you walked deeper into the shore until the waves washed your mid-calves, “let it be known that you both make the worst guards.”

“No body, no crime,” Mingi shrugged and you tsk-ed, though the three of you ended up laughing. 

The pair swung your hands and did not let go even when you wished to tuck your hair back. They did that for you, only after laughing whenever you got smacked on the face by your own hair thanks to the fierce gusts of the wind. In return, you splashed them with your feet.

After a good, long walk, the three of you settled down on the sand to take a breather. You pulled your knees forward, not minding the sand that stuck to your bare legs– in fact, you quite liked where you were right now. The sound of the waves crashing against each other was soothing enough to make you feel content. 

“Do you think we’ll ever get such a moment of peace again?” You mused, digging your fingertips into the sand. “It feels like we have to steal these moments ever since the silver light project began.”

Mingi hummed in thought but it was Wooyoung who said, “I don’t think we can fully rest anymore, Luna. At least, not until silver light is a medicinal drug available in all hospitals of Eden, and the Strictland nuclear base matter gets settled.”

“It’s only going to get more chaotic with the elections coming up soon,” Mingi added. “President Lee must be anxious now. He’s going to suffer damage when the public learns what he’s been doing behind their back.”

Wooyoung straightened his back proudly. “I knew something was off about that man. I was right. But for once…” He faltered, mirroring your position and resting his head against his knees. “I wish I was wrong.”

You smiled in defeat. “The elites will suffer, we shall make sure of it. We will keep stealing these little moments of peace. Everything will be okay– no matter how trapped we feel, we must be in control of our life. That is all that matters at the end of the day.”

“Wise words,” Mingi said playfully and you grinned, the three of you soaking in serenity, tucking the memory of tonight in a corner of your heart. With Mingi’s hand intertwining with yours as he scooted closer, you let Wooyoung rest his head on your shoulder. The three of you huddled into a cocoon, cherishing the last few moments of peace before you would go back to being a Crescent and a Leader.

It was good to be back at the office, working alongside Jihoon and Eunha and getting the recent updates. Apparently, the boss’s nonchalance was slowly taking the shape of anger. You heard about how Hongjoong and Seonghwa had taken upon themselves to find the mole among all of the Crescent employees, which was quite the number. As someone who had witnessed Seonghwa’s methods firsthand, you shivered at the thought of what the others would be facing. You did not want to think about how Hongjoong would be navigating that course. 

The office was empty for the most part of the day, especially after Eunha’s shift that left you alone on the upper story. You unlocked Hongjoong’s room and decided to wait there, having done most of your work and knowing that the two would be arriving at any moment. You were surprised to see the mess on Hongjoong’s desk– Seonghwa was usually cleaning everything up, organising everything and making sure nothing was out of place. 

They must have been really busy or tired, you thought. You were aware that the two had been here in the morning so you wondered if they left in a hurry.

Taking it upon yourself, you started organising Hongjoong’s desk– also because the time would not pass. You hummed a tune that you had picked from Mingi, an addictive melody he was usually singing while he was absorbed in work. You put the extra documents in the cupboard and just as you closed it, the door opened, revealing Seonghwa.

“You’re here,” he smiled, “I was wondering if I left the door unlocked.”

“You would never,” you grinned, spreading your arms for the underboss who gladly held you, spinning you around and making you chuckle as you clung to him. He set you down and you tucked the long silver strands of his hair back. “Where’s Hongjoong? I heard that he was with you.”

“We parted ways to save some time but he’ll be back soon,” Seonghwa pressed his lips to your forehead. “How was the warehouse?”

“Fun, I’m not even going to lie about it,” you said and Seonghwa scoffed in amusement. “But it’s really good to be back. I missed you.”

“I missed you too,” Seonghwa kissed your cheek, lingering there. Your fingers tightened around the lapels of his coat in response and you found his eyes fluttering shut as he relished the feeling of being so close to you. Your heart warmed infinitely.

“Is everything alright at work?” You asked in a low voice as if you did not dare to interrupt his train of thoughts. However, you might have actually done that because he shook his head.

“Let’s talk about work when Hongjoong gets back, yeah?” Seonghwa looked you in the eyes, brows furrowed and you thought you spotted true yearning in his eyes. 

You smiled and nodded, meeting his lips with yours and losing yourself to the bliss that came along. It truly blew your mind that Park Seonghwa was a man who yearned for you. Perhaps, he could hear your thoughts because he held you all the more delicately and kissed you all the more passionately, proving that you needed to pay no heed to your silly thoughts.

“Are you here for the weekend?” Seonghwa asked when he allowed you to break apart for breath and you nodded. 

“I have to leave on Monday though,” you told him. “Need to tie a few more loose ends before I come back.”

“Good enough,” Seonghwa caressed your cheek. “That means we have time.”

“Time for?” You asked, though you already knew the answer, and Seonghwa confirmed it with a searing kiss, making you take steps back instinctively until your back met with the wooden surface of the cupboard. You laughed into the kiss but Seonghwa intended to swallow every sound that he could draw out of your mouth. He pulled away with a dangerous smirk, one that had your legs feeling weak and your grasp tightening around him.

“Love,” Seonghwa muttered, cocking his head and letting his hands trace the curves of your body until they met the little gap between your blouse and your skirt, cold fingertips finding purchase on your bare skin and making you stifle a gasp. “If you keep making such pretty sounds, I’ll only have to do better and see what other sounds you’re capable of making.”

You let out an elongated sigh, indicating that you did not really oppose that proposition. Seonghwa gave your waist a squeeze before tilting your neck with his other hand, leaving soft kisses and bites on your sensitive skin, letting your tiny whimpers fuel him until he could no longer take it, capturing your mouth in another kiss and doing wonders with his tongue. You let yourself get consumed by the feelings in that moment, hearing nothing but the sound of your lips and tongues clashing against each other, though you did think for a moment that perhaps, you heard the sound of dull footsteps. But who would dare interrupt you–

You pushed Seonghwa back gently, catching your breath and looking towards the door– shut. You were about to go back to kissing Seonghwa when you spotted a figure from the corner of your eye.

“Oh, carry on, by all means,” Hongjoong said, thoroughly amused. He was sitting cockily on the couch, having been enjoying the show for a few moments now. “Don’t stop on my account.”

You felt heat creep up your face and you looked away, positive your face was red as beet now. How could you both miss the sound of Hongjoong coming inside? There was no way you both were that occupied with each other to miss the sound of the door–

The smirk Seonghwa sent in Hongjoong’s direction gave him away and your eyes widened. Seonghwa knew that Hongjoong had entered, yet he had made no move to stop himself. On purpose.

“Wasn’t planning to,” Seonghwa’s raspy voice responded. Hongjoong’s own smirk only deepened and Seonghwa chuckled, finding your shock funny. 

“Relax,” Seonghwa whispered, pecking your cheek and then trailing his lips to the corner of your mouth. While your hands clutching his collar were an indication of your confusion, because were you really going to give the Captain a little show?, Seonghwa pulled your body flush to his and pressed his lips to yours in a deep kiss.

You didn’t initially respond, far too aware of the Captain’s gaze stuck on the two of you. He was in your vision, and you could see him. But the way he licked his lips, anticipating your move, had your head spinning as if you were high on some drug and you made a split-second decision, opening your mouth for the underboss and kissing him back even more enthusiastically, just for a few seconds, before pulling apart and resting your hands on his chest to tell him that this was enough.

All the while, your eyes never leaving Hongjoong’s. He didn’t seem fazed, only mildly amused. You looked at Seonghwa who seemed more surprised that you responded but his surprise quickly shifted into laughter, shaking his head in resignation.

“I’ve found out something new about you tonight, Luna,” Seonghwa whispered in your ear. “And I plan to make use of that very soon.”

Vaguely, you remembered Yunho once mentioning something about how Seonghwa enjoyed watching. You had been too oblivious to understand back then but now… it was clear that the underboss had a very specific kink.

“Shut up,” you muttered, smacking his arm before straightening your clothes and going to sit in front of the boss. “Captain. How do you do?”

“Oh, I’m fine now,” he scoffed, looking at Seonghwa. “Get back here, you lovesick bastard.”

You stifled a smile and Seonghwa plopped down on the couch in front of you, laughing shamelessly. Something told you that it was not Hongjoong’s first time being an observer, and the thought alone sent warmth and tickles in your body but you did your best to push those thoughts away.

For now.

“I’ve met with and sent some spies in Tiffany’s direction– wherever that is,” Hongjoong decided to take upon himself to break the awkwardness. “She’s pretty much disappeared. I don’t think she’s in Wonderland.”

“I personally think she’s in Halaland,” Seonghwa added. “Let’s not forget that she’s half-Hala and it is the perfect spot to hide given her circumstances.”

“Maybe not the best,” Hongjoong countered, “If she’s involved with the Strictland business. Though in retrospect… there are probably some people from Halaland who are part of the group vouching for Strictland nuclear ops to be a success.”

“I think someone of Tiffany’s standing won’t step out of the shadows until she wants to be found. All we need to do is wait,” you suggested.

“I don’t get why we’re waiting,” Hongjoong grunted. “She’s tempting me to go back to my old ways and pull out my sniper rifle from the basement of my house.”

“That’s mine,” Seonghwa huffed. “You ditched yours on the battleground.”

“What’s yours is mine,” Hongjoong shrugged. “What’s it doing in my house if it’s yours?”

“Uh, I get that you’re gangsters but let’s be civil for now– Tiffany hasn’t really attacked us yet. We received her advance payments. Silver light is in production. I’d rather wait for her to provoke us before making a move.”

“Fine,” Hongjoong nodded in thought. “While we wait, we’ve got a meeting with one of the leaders of the Sirens on Sunday. The meeting point will remain undisclosed. They’ll send a driver who’ll take us to the location. Luna, you’re coming with me.”

You nodded. “Who else?”

“We’ll take one bodyguard. Let’s take Winter this time,” Hongjoong said. “Taeyong will be tailing us just in case.”

“Got it,” you said. “Should we be candid with the Sirens about what we have on Strictland?”

“President Son says we can. They can be trusted and they already know a great deal,” Hongjoong scratched his chin. “Maybe they will provide us with the missing pieces of this puzzle.”

“I sure hope so,” you slumped back. “Because it feels like we’re going in circles. We can’t move forward until we know who can be trusted.”

“The answer is no one. Not a single person can be trusted,” Seonghwa sounded sombre. “We have to watch our backs. An ally means that we have the same goal. It does not mean that there is trust.”

And with that in mind, you prepared yourself for the meeting with the Sirens. While you got ready, Winter briefed you about the Sirens and their history, a very insightful account of her experience with the rebel group that was formed right after President Han’s assassination in 1966. 

According to her, it was never a one-man party. It always had a considerable number of members despite the police’s great efforts to quell their spirits. What was odd about the group was that they didn’t have a specific ‘leader’. There were a few people who claimed to be leading the group, one of whom was probably going to be meeting with you. 

Winter also added that there was suspicion that some of the leading members of this group had been President Han’s supporters or her private spies when she was alive. President Lee was not at all acquainted with any of the Sirens so President Han must have never shared anything about these people with her husband– or if she did, or in the case that President Lee found out later, he was doing his damned best to root out all members on the grounds that they never became an official group and remained a privately operating organisation. 

The ride to the location of the meeting was mostly silent, with Winter in the front seat next to the driver who you reckoned was a Siren himself. It took about 20 minutes to reach what was a plain looking house in a well-populated residential area. Clever, you thought, to have a meeting here to draw minimal attention. No one paid heed to the car so you figured that it was the driver’s own house.

You were right. As soon as you stepped inside, you were hit by the smell of herbs and butter. The driver led you to the backyard and you spotted a middle-aged woman, presumably the driver’s wife, standing in an apron and buttering trays to be fed to the oven with a small girl clutching at her knees. You didn’t dare to pass a smile to the two, finding the air in the house oddly unsettling.

Stepping out in the open air of the backyard, you were met with the sturdy back of a man with hair that needed a cut badly, smoke blowing from the tip of his cigarette. Upon hearing the sound of your steps, he turned and gave the three of you a long look, waiting until Winter stationed herself at the corner before finally breaking into a handsome smile.

“It’s a pleasure to finally meet the man who has done a great deal for Eden,” His rich voice sounded. He dropped the cigarette and crushed it under his boot on the grass. Hongjoong walked towards him and they shook hands.

“Good things, I hope?” Hongjoong asked.

“A little bit of both,” The man shrugged in good nature, turning to you. “And a woman of many names. How shall I address you, then?”

You bowed your head in greeting, glancing at Hongjoong. He definitely knew about your connection with Secretary Park then, but that was no surprise considering that the Sirens now answered to President Son. “Luna would be fine.”

“Lovely name for a pretty lady like yourself,” he pressed his palm over his chest. “I’m Ji Changwook. I don’t think we’ve ever had the chance to meet. Please, have a seat.”

The three of you settled down on the lawn chairs and the man of the house served you with wine and fresh garlic loaf from the oven. The three of you made small talk about the weather and politics for a few minutes. You watched the driver offer Winter some bread but she refused, trained not to consume anything especially when active. The driver only proceeded to stand alongside her, chatting in a low voice.

“I heard about your weapons channel facing some difficulties,” Mr. Ji said, lighting another cigarette and giving you both a look. “When do you plan to resume your activities?”

Hongjoong cracked his knuckles in thought. “As soon as we know what our enemies really want. It’s unfortunate that the weapons dealings had to be put on hold when clearly, it was only meant to aggravate us.”

“And?” Mr. Ji blew the smoke sideways. “Were they successful?”

“Not quite,” Hongjoong smirked but added. “It only means that we’re on the right path. They wouldn’t be wasting time attacking us if we were barking up the wrong tree.”

“And they will continue with their little attacks, though I must warn that you should be prepared,” the Siren leaned forward. “These people stop at nothing.”

“And who are these people?” You asked.

“Why, the elites, of course,” Mr. Ji cocked his head. “Who specifically, we are not sure. Secretary Park and President Lee, definitely. Major Sung of Strictland. They’re planning a hoax as we speak. Our president aims to create an opportunity to send his troops to Strictland and annex it.”

“Is that really true?” You asked. “That would be violating a lot of international laws.”

“Which is why he’s planting baits for Halaland. Just watch, and be prepared,” Mr. Ji warned. “President Lee has the military under his control, be fooled no more. He is planning to join hands with Assemblyman General Wi, probably promising him a presidential seat.”

“Is that why you called us?” Hongjoong asked. “You cannot convince General Wi, but we might.”

“Bingo,” Mr. Ji said, accentuating the syllables, his eyes twinkling. “The elections are not too far away. With the Strictland business, time will travel far too speedily and before you know it, you’ll be casting your votes. We are a rebel party– no politician would want to be acquainted with us, for the right reasons. However… you can shift the political tide to your favour.”

Hongjoong hummed in thought, probably planning in his head already.

“Ever thought of getting into politics?”

“I’ll be damned,” Hongjoong raised his hands in surrender. “What can the Sirens do for us?”

“We can help you resume your weapons channel, for now,” Mr. Ji offered and Hongjoong looked interested. “Under wraps, of course. Provide you with a little stability while you mess with the elites. If you need manpower, let us know. We answer to President Son and will be happy to help you.”

“Noted,” Hongjoong shook hands with the man. He settled back and took a deep breath before asking, “Can I ask how you know so much about President Lee’s movements?”

Mr. Ji smiled. “Just like your spies,” he said, pointing at Winter who simply grunted in mild annoyance, “We’re everywhere too. We were originally a group of few private investigators for President Han, but…” Mr. Ji met your eyes and held the contact. “We had to pause after her death for safety reasons. Anyways, our people are in the Eden Hall. President Lee is very queasy because of us and is making rash moves, so we are a little responsible for the recent messes, my bad.”

“No worries–”

“Safety reasons?” You asked, your question overlapping with Hongjoong’s. Hongjoong motioned for you to continue. “Were you being threatened for investigating whatever President Han put you up to?”

“Not quite,” Mr. Ji said, unconsciously looking towards Hongjoong and you didn’t miss the look they shared. 

“We’re on the same page,” Hongjoong interrupted your train of thought. “We will contact you soon with an update on General Wi.”

Mr. Ji nodded and Hongjoong got up, indicating that the meeting was over. You followed Winter and Hongjoong asked you to wait in the car, sharing a word with Mr. Ji. 

You did not know why but you could not swallow the bitter taste at the back of your throat. There was something that Mr. Ji knew about you, something that perhaps Hongjoong was aware about as well. 

Some things were definitely being kept from you. Was it because they did not trust you? Or was it some stupid excuse like your own good? You did not know, and you were not sure if you wanted to know. Hongjoong was always stressing about how you were a Leader now so you decided to let the matter go for now and give him some leverage. If something was being kept from you, they must have a reason.

However, Hongjoong was also a very observant man and he did not miss how you were lost in your own head. Now that you were in your own car with Taeyong and Winter in the front, he felt comfortable enough to brush his fingers against yours, making you look his way.

“Everything good?” He asked.

You nodded. “Just thinking.”

Hongjoong nodded slowly, understanding. 

“Don’t think too much.”

Not an order, but a request. You met Hongjoong’s eyes, his gaze focused on the contact between your hands. When he pressed his hand against the back of yours, you gave in and intertwined your fingers.

And that was enough.

“We’ve been summoned, we hear.”

“By a certain Miss… Madness?”

“Lunatic,” Jaemin corrected and you shot glares at the pair.

“That’s Miss Luna for you both,” you added, beckoning the boys to come closer. “You must be Renjun.”

The new informant boy seemed to be Jaemin’s age, the same mischievous glint in his eyes that curved as he smiled, long strands of hair framing his face. His getup was simpler than Jaemin– no cap but a woolen scarf wrapped around his neck over a plain set of clothes. 

“We bring news from the warehouse,” Renjun bowed and Jaemin followed suit and you chuckled at their theatrics. “It’s weird to deliver news to a new face, though.”

“Get used to it,” Jaemin told him. “The Captain likes her. She’s his first mate.”

“Ah, is that so?” Renjun asked innocently and you pressed your forehead against your palm.

Such innocent kids.

“Are you going to keep me waiting?” You asked and Renjun scoffed, muttering something about how he could see why the Captain took a liking to you.

“‘Production phase is almost over. Transportation is beginning soon. Please confirm– we’re occupied by security concerns’. Says Choi San.”

“Ah, I’ll relay the message to the boss and you can come back for an answer in the evening– or whenever you spot your Captain. Okay?” 

The kids nodded, waiting for any other instructions. You only dug out a handful of chocolates that you had received from Lady Kim from your visit to the Son Residence in Sector 2. The boys happily took the treat.

“Is this a bribe?” Jaemin narrowed his eyes.

“Give it back,” you ordered and the two broke into giggles, running away before you could take action, leaving you smiling for a while even as you went back to filing boring reports. 

It was just past 7 in the evening, which meant Seonghwa would be coming back any time now. Hongjoong had already left with Taeyong to have another meeting with the Crescent employees who were aware of the illegal side of the business. It seemed like Hongjoong was taking out his frustration on finding the mole– he was resolute, and he insisted that he had to be the one to get to the bottom of it, only allowing Seonghwa to tag along sometimes.

It was Yunho who was in charge of testing the Crescents’ loyalties and reminding them who the boss was around here. Since he was still in Edenary, due to come back in two days, Hongjoong was keeping himself busy in any way that he could, insisting that sitting idle and waiting for things to fall back to place was not his style. You wished Yunho was here– the boss was certainly a lot calmer when his reliable consigliere was around. Plus, Yunho’s presence alone relaxed not only Hongjoong but Seonghwa and you as well. 

You missed him. Even though you were always occupied by someone or something, you missed Yunho. It was interesting how big of a headspace he occupied, but it was also strange how you had made a space for everyone in your heart in a matter of a few months. 

You missed Yunho when you were stressed and needed to feel grounded. You missed San when you felt alone and wanted company– a friend. You missed Yeosang when you doubted yourself and wondered if you were at the right place. You missed Hongjoong– a lot, especially when you were at the warehouse– because he saw something in you that no one else did, and always reminded you of who you were. A Crescent. A Leader. An equal.

The door of Yunho’s office room opened with a knock and Seonghwa peeked inside before entering. He shut the door behind him, not taking off his coat but standing and watching you.

“What’s up?”

You missed Seonghwa whenever you felt lost. He always guided you back to the light. And right now, you felt lost. You couldn’t get the ugly feeling of something happening behind your back out of your head. You knew that Hongjoong would never betray you like that, but it had happened twice now– a private word with President Son and Lady Kim, and a private word with Mr. Ji. 

You were also conscious of the fact that if Hongjoong was up to something, Seonghwa might be the only person who would know. 

“Just a bit tired,” you admitted. All your energy was being used up by your gut warning you that something was amiss. If not with Hongjoong, then with someone else.

“Something is up,” Seonghwa cocked his head as he watched you and you gave him a tight-lipped smile. “Come here.”

Before you could process his request, you had already moved into his arms. You rested your head against his chest, hearing his firm heartbeat. Seonghwa wrapped his arms around your shoulders, planting a soft kiss on the top of your head and waiting for you to speak.

“I’m just being silly,” you began, and he stifled a chuckle, earning a smack. “But I think Hongjoong is hiding something from me. And if he is, you are too.”

Seonghwa’s expressions didn’t change in the slightest, his lips remaining in a small smile as he met your eyes, as if daring you to challenge him. “Whatever gave you the idea?”

“Hmm, you’re not denying it,” you pointed out. “Just a feeling.”

Seonghwa tucked your hair behind your ears. “Have you heard of the phrase, ignorance is bliss?”

“Seonghwa,” you warned, feeling your stomach churn in disappointment but he shook his head. 

“I bet you have,” Seonghwa continued. “Do you know why it is so true? Because what you don’t know can’t hurt you.”

“So it is something that could hurt me?” You raised a brow, your hands curling into fists subconsciously and Seonghwa wrapped his own hands around yours.

“No. We’re just looking into something, and if we end up finding anything of importance, you will be the first to know, I promise. But until we’re in the void, we’d rather stress about it ourselves, yeah?” Seonghwa planted a kiss on your forehead. “You’ve already got a lot on your plate.”

“I can handle more,” you pleaded but when he gave you a look, you muttered, “I know.”

“I know you can handle more, but we may be looking in a very wrong direction and we don’t want to get anyone’s hopes up or contribute to the confusion. There’s already too much going on.”

“I understand,” you nodded.

Seonghwa hummed. “How can I make you feel better, love?”

“Hmm… have you had dinner yet?”

Seonghwa smiled deeply, glad about the opportunity. “I know just the right place.”

Which was how you ended up in his house– awfully organised and neat, but still very homey, just as you had left it when San brought you home. You told him that you were getting deja vu since a certain lieutenant had also taken you home like this, though it wasn’t a dinner date. Seonghwa told you that he had heard all about it which made you blush deeply. 

Seonghwa had a lavish dinner in mind, so you washed up in the meantime and joined him in the kitchen, sitting on an empty spot on the counter and admiring his back as he cooked on the stove.

Seonghwa laughed deeply when he turned around, his gaze raking down your figure and taking account of your state– you had changed into one of his dress shirts, a white piece that barely covered your thighs. He met your eyes and raised a brow. 

“I’m not an easily riled up man, I must tell,” Seonghwa said casually, adding spices into the soup and tasting it, nodding to himself and turning the stove off. You didn’t miss the way the muscles in his jaw moved.

“But you’re all tense now,” you teased, hopping down and setting the table with him. He already had a bunch of ingredients and side dishes prepared so all he had to do was whip a quick dinner. You took a seat across from him, your bare legs no longer a distraction.

But his bare forearms were.

“Eat up, love,” Seonghwa set a piece of meat on your rice bowl and you passed him a look, taking a bite and praising his cooking skills. As you ate, Seonghwa told you about how he was basically the housekeeper here. The Crescents– Ateez– preferred eating at home instead of outside to avoid eyes. The Bar was their more frequented place since they had privacy there.

After the war, the eight of them lived together for quite a while in a small apartment, sharing rooms and focusing on growing their business. They only got separate places some couple of years ago, but they still could not let each other go. This house, he revealed, was everyone’s hangout place since Seonghwa maintained it so well. Took advantage of him, he complained, but the twinkle in his eyes said otherwise. 

“So no one minds, and anyone can come and go as they wish?” You asked, and he nodded. “It must be lively here then.”

“It’s lively even when only San is here,” Seonghwa chuckled. “He never sleeps alone.”

“Yeah, I’ve seen the state of his room. He probably stays up all night with his pillows if he’s alone,” you said and Seonghwa laughed loudly.

“No, it’s not that he can’t sleep alone. It’s that he refuses to.”

“Ah,” you nodded in understanding, grinning. “Must be nice to have someone to go home to. I understand why San is like that. I quite like my peace and space, but it’s nice to not be alone.”

Seonghwa smiled at your words. “Yeah, you have a roommate, eh? You get along with her?”

“Yep. Wendy. Even though we barely have time now, it’s still nice to have some life in the house. She’s like you– cooks for us despite being busier than me, lets me crash in her bed even though I can sleep alone. She’s a wonderful friend.”

“You sound like someone who hates being alone,” Seonghwa pointed out.

“I don’t hate being alone,” you shrugged. “I just didn’t realise I was lonely until I met Wendy. I thought I would prefer my peace and quiet, but it turns out I just needed the right people in my life.”

“Ah, one of life’s greatest lessons,” Seonghwa grinned, the two of you chatting some more as you finished your food. You thanked him for cooking a lovely meal for you and offered to clear the kitchen while he washed up. Since he seemed to have no intentions to let you go, he accepted that and you started your job, making sure to place everything as it was before.

You were reading the notes taped to the refrigerator– grocery, reminders, silly scribbles, when Seonghwa snaked up behind you, wrapping his arms around your shoulders and nudging your cheek with the tip of his nose. “What are you smiling at?”

“Whose idea was this?” You pointed at a silly doodle that seemed to be an attempt to capture Mingi’s facial features.

“Probably San’s,” Seonghwa chuckled. “I no longer remember because everyone uses it now.”

“Bet Mingi loves that,” you scoffed, your attention shifting to Seonghwa when he nudged your cheek again. 

You shifted in his arms, pushing him back gently until he leaned against the counter to match your height. You caressed his cheek lovingly, meeting his strong gaze and tracing the pad of your thumb over his bottom lip. 

When Seonghwa tugged you closer, you joined your foreheads and brushed your nose against his, gauging his reaction. You were aware of every little movement that he made and just when it looked like he was about to kiss you, you drew back.

“I’m still mad about the other night, by the way,” you said and Seonghwa shut his eyes, stifling a laugh. “I haven’t even kissed Hongjoong on the cheek yet, Seonghwa. How could you make him watch us… making out?”

“That’s on you,” Seonghwa challenged. “Don’t pretend you did not like it when he watched.”

You pursed your lips, caressing his neck absently. “Does Hongjoong… like me?”

“Why don’t you ask him yourself?” Seonghwa suggested. “Because you seem to hold him in high reverence… is that why you’re so afraid to make a move with him?”

“I don’t know,” you shrugged. “I just… I guess I’m waiting for the right timing.”

“And what about us?” Seonghwa smiled. “Did we have good timing?”

“Very good,” you grinned. “You’re somehow always there to pick up the pieces when Hongjoong breaks my heart.”

“Wish Hongjoong could see how I do that,” Seonghwa said in a raspy voice, capturing your lips in a searing kiss just a beat later. 

Just like in Edenary when Hongjoong had made you cry, Seonghwa was healing you up with his passionate kiss. He wasn’t wrong– you were afraid of doing something wrong with Hongjoong. He seemed to respect you too, or maybe he was waiting for you. Whatever it was, you could make sense of it later, for now…

You were hyper aware of Seonghwa’s hands on the small of your waist as he deepened the kiss and fell into a familiar rhythm with you. His plump lips tasted sweet and you thought you could kiss him forever, or let him kiss you until you would lose all sense of self. The movements of his hands up and down from your waist to your hips sent a trail of electricity in its wake, reminding you about how much you desired Seonghwa. 

It had taken you far too long to come here, but now that you were in his arms, almost bare, you planned to let yourself go.

Seonghwa perhaps understood that, picking you up in his arms and making you wrap your legs around him, your laughter ringing in the empty house as he steered towards his room. You only had a second to look around before he dropped you on the bed, his demeanor shifting noticeably. 

“Do you know what I plan to do with you tonight, love?” He asked, holding your chin and running his thumb across your parted lips. He didn’t need to hear the answer, for it was evident in your eyes. “Are we good?”

“Yes,” you breathed. 

“I’m going to kiss every inch of your body,” Seonghwa promised in a deep voice, making you shiver as his words registered in your being. “And then I’m going to make you mine.”

You nodded and he leaned down to kiss your mouth sweetly, the wet tendrils of his hair tickling your face when he drew apart just a fraction, reading your face. 

“You’re going to tell me if at any point you are uncomfortable, or simply want to stop. Understood?”

Your heart did a big flip inside your chest– just what were you getting into? Where was the gentleman? There was not a hint of the gentleness in the way he was grabbing your chin now, his gaze darkening. 

“Are you ready?”

You nodded almost absently, and Seonghwa shook his head.

“Words.”

“I’m ready,” you breathed, pulling his arm to bring him closer. “Have your way with me, Mr. Park.”

Seonghwa smirked so dangerously and slowly that your toes curled. You understood then– he planned to make a mess of you first before he would break you with his gentleness.

And he started by unbuttoning your– his shirt but he did not take it off, letting it fall sideways to reveal your bare chest. His eyes left a burning trail on your bare skin and he crawled forwards, making space for himself between your legs. With a lick to his lips, he lowered his face and met your lips in a searing kiss, gripping your waist as he moved his mouth against you, leaving wet kisses on your mouth before trailing his lips down to your neck, licking and sucking relentlessly wherever he decided was the right spot.

Perhaps the way you squirmed and moaned under him was indication enough that he was on the right path, sucking at the right spots and touching you just the way you needed to be touched tonight. He didn’t hold back his own satisfied moans, digging his thigh purposely on your clothed core, smiling against your neck devilishly when you let out a groan. He drew apart to watch you, cupping your flushed face and teasing your lips with his over and over.

“Seonghwa,” you breathed and he planted a sweet kiss on your mouth. You started to grind against his thigh, lifting yourself up better with your elbows propped on the bed while his hands went to cup and fondle your breasts. You repeated his name over and over like a chant and he kissed you after every breath, almost losing himself there before he pushed you down, making you lay flat on the bed. He trailed his lips down your chest, leaving kisses everywhere, running his hands lovingly across your body until he reached your navel. 

He looked up at you and waited until you gave another confirmation before he started spreading fluttering kisses along your thighs, nudging your clothed clit with the tip of his nose and holding you steady when your back arched in response. He hummed against the fabric of your panties.

“You’re already a mess, darling,” he muttered, teasing you further by tracing his thumb over your core. “And I haven’t even begun.”

“You’re something,” you breathed, sharing a laugh with him. His mouth ghosted over your throbbing core and it took everything in you to not take control of the situation. It’s not like you could either– his gaze remained challenging as if daring you to try. 

When you looked at him pleadingly, he finally gave in and slowly but surely removed your black panties, getting back between your legs and giving you one look dripping with lust before latching his mouth to your clit, making your legs squeeze against his head as a loud moan escaped your mouth. While he sucked and kissed relentlessly, you clutched at his hair, only fuelling him.

“Seonghwa– too much,” you said, feeling wave after wave of arousal course through your body and leaving a tingling sensation in your extremities, making your fingers and toes curl as you lay helpless and completely submitted to the underboss.

“You can take it,” he simply said in a raspy voice, licking up your slick folds and humming in satisfaction. 

“I can,” you told yourself, barely able to hold yourself when your legs threatened to squeeze shut. Seonghwa kept one hand as a brace on your thigh while the other played with your clit in circular motions as he dived his tongue deeper inside. A string of curses left your mouth while he toyed with you, the lewd sound of his lips making out with your cunt mingling with the breathy sounds of your moan that only grew louder with each passing second as the knot in your stomach tightened.

“Seonghwa,” you breathed. “I– I won’t last–”

“That’s okay,” he looked up at you, the sight of your wetness spread over his mouth and jaw making all strength leave your body. “Let it go.”

With that, he went right back to continuing his ministrations, his hands tightening around your thighs and the tip of his nose providing just enough friction as he swirled his tongue. You could do nothing but moan out his name as your vision went white with pleasure, release coursing through you as if it had been whipped out of you. For a few ecstatic moments, you were gone before you came back to Seonghwa gently cleaning you up with his tongue. 

He smiled at you and wiped his mouth with his sleeve before crawling upwards on top of you, tucking your hair back and murmuring in low whispers about how good you did for him, peppering kisses all over your face. 

And then he whispered something in your ear that made you shiver involuntarily, followed by more praise as his kisses began to feel laced with innuendo, his hands rubbing soothing circles preparing you for what was next.

“You can take another, right? I know you can.”

He proved himself right again and again, testing your capabilities and switching from holding you gently and making love to you, to showing you what he himself was capable of. By the end of the night, you lay limp in his arms but no other place could have been better. 

You were home, and you were loved.

Sometimes, you wondered what the fates had in store for you. The world did not revolve around you, but it sure felt like you were no more than a mere puppet in this twisted game of lies, control and hatred. A pawn in the big game of chess. Maybe the fates would lead you to the altar to be the sacrificial lamb soon. You wouldn’t be surprised.

Whatever the case was, you weren’t alone. You were sure Wooyoung and Mingi felt the same way as one of their crew members arrived at the warehouse to deliver news that had you all holding your breaths.

“What do you mean the MX warehouse was bombed?” You looked towards Wooyoung and Mingi who were equally shocked, if not more. Wooyoung got up slowly, the colour draining from his face.

“Yeosang and San– are they safe?” 

You felt your heart sink at the vulnerability in his voice– never had you heard his voice break like this in all of the two years that you had known him. 

“They’re safe and assessing the damage– they were not at the warehouse when the blast occurred,” Soonyoung assured and Mingi groaned in relief, rubbing his face. You sighed, finding Wooyoung’s hand and squeezing it in assurance.

“Hyungwon and Jooheon got injured, but nothing too critical,” Soonyoung revealed and you breathed ‘oh my god’. “A few soldiers also got injured, but no casualties.”

“And the goods?” Mingi asked.

“Safely transported before the attack happened,” he confirmed and Mingi collapsed back onto his chair in relief.

“Are we sure this was a deliberate attack?” Mingi inquired.

“Pretty damn sure,” Soonyoung admitted, shifting uncomfortably. “Our hitmen are after them, on their trail as we speak.”

“Okay, well,” Wooyoung got up, determined, hands in his pockets. “This changes things. I’m going to have to take matters into my own bloody hands now.”

“Wooyoung,” Mingi warned but he only shook his head and proceeded to dial the phone to order Seokmin’s presence in the office. He all but slammed the receiver down, gulping down his anger. You could understand why he felt that way. It was very well warranted.

As soon as Seokmin arrived, Wooyoung asked him to round all the workers present at this warehouse for he was going to conduct an interrogation to check if there was a mole right under their nose. Seokmin seemed to understand. He did not try to defend himself or the others, simply did what he was asked to. 

Considering the gravity of the matter, this seemed to be the wiser take, the first step to ensure their safety as a whole. If MX warehouse could be bombed, no place else was safe and they would have to make sure that security around this Pledis warehouse remained tight.

Mingi went to squeeze Wooyoung’s shoulder, muttering something in his ear and kissing the corner of his mouth before leaving. You took a deep breath and shared a nod with the older capo who must have decided to lead the interrogation in Wooyoung’s stead. Wooyoung was rubbing his face while he tried to calm his nerves, pacing in the room. You let him be for a few moments before you walked towards him in the corner of the room and held his hands.

“Everyone is safe,” you reminded him. “No one got hurt.”

“But they could have gotten killed,” Wooyoung looked at you dead in the eyes.

“That’s true, but they didn’t,” you insisted. “So take your breather and then straighten your shoulders. We’ve got to keep our cool.”

“I know,” Wooyoung sighed deeply, looking away. You let go of his hands to tuck his long hair away from his eyes, cupping his face in the process.

“Tell me what you’re thinking.”

Vulnerable. His eyes gave away what he felt. He did not need to speak to tell you the rest, but he decided to try anyway. 

“Someone is deliberately targeting us,” Wooyoung almost whispered. “And I’m trying not to lose it right now. I could take out my weapons and round everyone up– anyone who was aware of what we were doing at the MX warehouse could be the mole, and that’s not a lot of people, Luna. We were betrayed by someone close, and I’m not sure I can forgive them when I find out their identity.”

You nodded in understanding. “Someone who was close to you… they must have been in quite the pinch to betray you and risk getting caught.”

“I don’t care,” Wooyoung announced, cupping your hands but keeping them where they were on his face, lowering them just a tad bit towards his neck. “We have a code. You break that, you lose your neck, friend or not.”

“But do you know what the mole has done in giving away the location of the warehouse?” You began and Wooyoung raised a brow in anticipation of your answer. “Exposed the pool of people who we need to look into. We can now use that pool to draw them out. We won’t need to find the mole– the mole will willingly walk into the trap now.”

“You’ve got an idea,” Wooyoung finally smiled. “I can see that in the twinkle in your eyes.”

“I’m tired of being the marionette, Wooyoung,” you admitted. “It’s about time we cut our strings and pull the player onto the stage.”

Wooyoung hummed in agreement, planting a soft kiss on your forehead as a thanks. “I’ll make sure Mingi isn’t terrorising our crew.”

You chuckled softly. “You do that. I’ll make some calls.”

You rang the main office and Eunha picked up, informing you that the ‘goods’ were safely transported to their new location. Seonghwa and Hongjoong seemed to be away, probably making their own rounds of interrogation. There were only a handful of trusted people who were aware about the new location of production of silver light, and that included the immediate bodyguards and hardly a handful of other people involved directly in its transport or safety. To think that the mole was so close…

It was time to make your move now.

However, any thoughts about scheming evaporated when Jaemin and Renjun came rushing through the warehouse in the dark hours of the night, right before you were about to leave with the boys to go home. The duo could barely catch their breaths and you watched them, baffled. 

“This is no time for kids to be out and delivering news, no matter how important it is,” you reprimanded, taking in their state. Sweat trickling down their foreheads, cheeks flushed from running, you assumed. “A call would have been fine.”

“No, it’s not the Captain who sent us,” Jaemin shook his head, going from leaning against Renjun to straightening a bit, flinching. “We got news, and it’s bad.”

“Well?” You frowned. “What is it?”

“President Lee has dispatched a troop of soldiers for Strictland,” Renjun breathed and you failed to contain a gasp. “It’s not on the news yet, they’re doing heavy censoring but it’s only a matter of time before the public learns–”

“Hold on,” you raised a hand, trying to make sense of that and failing. “How? Why?”

“Apparently, Halaland has ‘violated’ some terms of the Treaty of the Eight Hills,” Jaemin huffed. “I don’t know what that is about, but that’s what we’re hearing. Assemblyman General Wi seems to have joined hands with President Lee.”

“No,” you breathed. Your loud heartbeat sounded right between your ears. “What does that mean for us?”

The kids did not know the answer to that, but you knew. This was how it began in 1958, a simple accusation thrown in the air with no verifications and no credibility, triggering the events that lead to the long, bloody war. And with a troop of soldiers now on their way to Halaland? There was no way Halaland would just sit back and not retaliate. 

“Go home,” you instructed the kids. “Don’t stay out too late, and stay safe, you hear me?”

The kids nodded, sombre like nothing you had seen before from them. You passed a weak smile to Jaemin but he didn’t return the sentiment, pale. They only bowed and left, disappearing into the shadows.

You did not know how long you stood in the office room, thinking and thinking, when Wooyoung and Mingi arrived to let you know that the car was waiting.

“You look like you’ve seen a ghost,” Mingi commented, “What’s wrong?”

You met their eyes and they waited for an explanation. However, nothing made sense anymore.

All you could hear was the ringing in your ears and all you could see in front of your eyes were the young and tired, weary soldiers who wished to go home but made a house 6 feet under the ground.

You would not let it happen again. This time, you had power. This time, you would wield it and make sure to protect your people.

“I become the bearer of the bad news yet again. Call the boys, Wooyoung. We’ve got a war to stop.”

next chapter

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[burekforsatoru]

all the time in the world

caleb (love and deepspace)/reader | read it on ao3 break comes and goes, and you haven't spent a single night in caleb's bed… a shame. missing him, you head across the hallway to change that. wc: 3.9k tags: piv, smut, cuddling, soft sex

@velvetlilith777 come get your dinner my queen 𓇼 ⋆.˚ masterlist

spring break always feels like it ends as soon as it begins.

all of your things are already packed, the suitcase open only to fit your toothbrush and pyjamas in the morning when you say goodbye to grandma and caleb again before making your way to the dorms, ready to get busy with training and fighting practices. you lie in bed, regretting not spending more time with them, instead meeting up with some friends from another life, people you haven't kept in touch with for some reason, wasting your time on catching up when you could've been making new memories. and you missed them terribly, though gran manages to call you often to check up on you. caleb is busy, that's what you told yourself in between classes. he's got just as much, if not more, coursework and training on his plate, he can't hang around you like he did when you were little, can't follow in your every step just in case you need to be protected.

you missed him so fucking much, and, with a quiet creak of your bedroom door, you pad along the hallway to knock on his door. there's no answer save for a quiet snore from inside. you push open the door, facing complete darkness enhancing the gentle sounds of rain from the outside. caleb's room is always so dark, the shutters closed, the curtains pulled together. no moonlight illuminates him, but you know this path by heart. six steps and his shirt is there, crumpled on the floor. next to it, you don't even have to check, his jeans, so haphazardly dropped like he would perish if he spent another second in them instead of his bed. it's a familiar scene, comforting in the mess around you as the edge of the mattress meets your knees. you lean down to slowly, carefully, pat the space by the edge, mapping out what position he's sleeping in tonight before you can slide into his bed, as quietly as possible slotting yourself into the space beside him.

barely a few seconds later, just as a crack of thunder breaks the silence, his body moves, as if sensing your presence, and his arm slings over your side, his large palm presses against your stomach, pulling you closer until there's hardly any space left between his front and your back. comfortable… it's how you always managed to fall asleep after nightmares back in the day — tucked into his frame, held tightly, your mind unable to sense anything other than caleb.

and even now, when there hasn't been a nightmare that has kept you from slumbering, but a quick recap of all your activities this break week, all the outings you never said no to, all the nights spent outside and only seeing caleb in passing or as he returned home in the late hours when you were only leaving the house, you feel just as reassured. it was busy, kept your thoughts occupied and away from the impending practical training, away from the countless exercises you were yet to take, the many, many hours that would inevitably be spent in the linkon university gym with the other students.

closing your eyes again is easy, natural, letting the darkness envelop you as you melt into his embrace. despite how guilty you feel, being under the same roof as him, but barely seeing him, he has a way of making you feel safe and believe everything is going to be okay. groaning sleepily, he presses himself against you even more, slipping one knee between your legs, warming your body with his own.

"pipsqueak… your feet are cold." barely enunciated, his raspy words are like the most comfortable blanket descending onto your skin.

the corner of your lips tilts up slightly, despite knowing he must be tired, you're glad he's at least awake enough to notice you're back in his arms. his breath tickles the back of your head and you no longer focus on the wind and rain outside, only on the slight rustling of sheets under you and the low groan as he shifts his body.

"all warm now." you whisper, nestling yourself into the pillow under your cheek.

"something wrong?" he murmurs, barely opening his mouth to press those words, along with tiny kisses, to the back of your head.

you sigh so slowly. no, there's technically nothing wrong, just a pit in your stomach from thinking about how you've neglected him and how it's going to be a while until you can do this again, slot yourself into his embrace like a missing puzzle piece, get your stomach rubbed to soothe you, feel his breath on your body.

you shake your head, sighing slowly as he rubs circles on your belly, something he usually does when you're not feeling well, when you're suffering the curse of period cramps, or even when you're simply upset and need reassurance.

"just miss you, that's all," your voice is so quiet, nearly broken in the silence of the room.

"i'm right here, pips."

"did you have fun?" his voice is a little clearer, though still raspy, still quiet, still just a vibration on your body.

you scoot a little closer to him, erasing any possible molecule of space between you.

"not what i meant." you have a feeling he's doing this on purpose, making you say it instead of relying on him to just understand what you meant without having to explain. and he knows, he must have felt your absence deeply for the past week, as he always told you he did before. "i wish i didn't go out as much this week."

"yes, but—"

"then that's enough for me." he shifts, gliding his hand up your stomach and letting it rest between your breasts, feeling your heart beat a little faster. "you deserve to have fun without boring old caleb around."

you furrow your brows and huff a little, that's not like him. caleb is usually the one dragging you along in his plans because he wanted to spend time with you, caleb is the one who offers to drive you and your friends to places just to steal another few moments in your company, caleb is the one who never wasted a single moment with you… before you started training at the hunter academy. since then he's almost given you more space, more time, more freedom. almost like… he's waiting for you to choose him.

you did, most of the time.

but last time he didn't come home for the holidays, he stayed at the academy, crammed for exams, pushed so far ahead grandma joked he could graduate a year earlier.

last time you came home all giddy and excited only to get a call from him to say he wouldn't make it. last time… you spent the break moping in your room, needing to be dragged out of the house by some old friends and dragged along to the markets and parks and fairs and activities and quiet nights with them. they said then that you looked like you got dumped, and while it wasn't true… it sort of felt the same. worse, since when you had got dumped, you'd had caleb by your side and he'd chased all the tears away with his lips, he'd baked you sweet desserts and cooked delicious meals to keep you fed, he'd taken you to the arcade and other colourful places as often as he could have, spending every moment making sure you weren't sinking.

"how are you not mad? i ditched you, i— not on purpose, but i was so stupid and i wasted our time and—" your mouth is running with no filter, only stopping to bite down on the lip that starts quivering once caleb gently nuzzles into the back of your head, leaning down to kiss the back of your neck and shush you quietly.

"shhh, it's okay pipsqueak… we have time. we're gonna have plenty of time, all the time in the world." his hand rests firmly against your body, but his hips move slightly, rocking against you almost imperceptibly.

"you're—"

"not mad, no," he sighs, continuing his movements, rustling the sheets in the quiet dark of his bedroom. "i just missed you too."

you can tell. you can tell by the way he keeps rocking his hips into you, so slowly at first, but there's definitely a little hiccup in his movements here and there, he's getting harder and harder, getting to the point where it's going to be utterly impossible to hold back.

caleb's waking up a little more with every thrust of his hips, rubbing his cock against your ass while he gently presses kisses on the back of your head. reminiscent of how you'd cope with waking up from nightmares back in the day, only with a little less rutting into you, his tender touches and sweet words used to be the only thing that soothed you. until you became more comfortable with other kinds of affection and started placing your cold, shaky hands under his shirt, that is if he even wore one, and then lower, and lower until you reached the waistband of his boxers. you soon learned how to keep quiet with his hand over your mouth, careful not to make much noise, and he learned how to read your face for all the signs that he couldn't let you get out of your sweet lips he so desperately wanted to capture into a kiss and have you cry out into his mouth. soon, it was the roll of your eyes that let him know how to fuck you, how to bring you to orgasm after orgasm until you were so tired that you could fall into dreamless sleep even before he cleaned you up.

"i've really missed you." a lot. it's more breath than words, slipping from your parted lips, but he's so warm, so familiar, so comfortable.

the rubbing of his body against yours is all it takes for the first moan to leave you, emboldening him to reach down and slide his long fingers just barely under the waistband of your panties. the teasing bastard, he's rubbing circles everywhere but where you actually need him. even his breath is getting a little heavier, his head lifting just a little to start getting his eyes adjusted to the darkness in his bedroom, hoping to at least see a bit of your skin that his hand is gliding over.

"yeah, i can tell," he quips once his finger finally descends through your folds, by now so warm and wet, easing his gliding fingers to move smoothly. "could've come in here at any point, you know? i'd gladly take care of this." caleb's voice is rolling like dusk in your ear, words calm, tone just dark enough to keep you mellowed out on his bed. lips pressed against the shell of your ear so softly, he almost gasps when his middle fingers pauses against your warm cunt. teeth against your lip, you press down on it to stop yourself from moaning out again. it's been too long, too many nights wasted that you could've crawled into his bed and feel the depth of his affection while his necklace dangles in your face. and it's the last chance before drifting apart again for a few months, when the only refuge from the ever-growing frustrations is a phone call away, a permanent voice in your head, a light and breezy chuckle through the phone that talks you through how to glide your hand and touch yourself. you always wish he could touch you himself, it's so much better with his long fingers, so deft at pressing the right buttons in you.

and now… once again feeling his digit sink into your pussy, you curse yourself for staying busy, away from him, despite missing him like crazy. trying to give him space to… what? to not get tired of you? despite all the times he's told you it's not going to happen? you should turn off your damn brain, plug out the insecurity if only for a while, to let him soothe you in this way at least, but it's too late, he's catching onto you.

"pipsqueak…"

the name snaps you out of it for a brief moment, you take it as a sign to slightly lift your leg and let him adjust his hand, the heel of his palm now pressed against your clit while he so slowly drags his middle finger in and out of your pussy.

"i can practically hear the cogs in your brain turning… you're overthinking things again." he's always so annoyingly good at picking apart your every movement, expression, and word, always recognising when you're thinking stupid thoughts and stopping them before they spiral beyond control.

a soft sigh leaves you, partly because he's stroking your insides so gently, partly because he's damn right, you're being silly again, you can hear his voice in your head, rewinding from the countless times he's had to cup your face and lean down to be level with you, gently reassuring you and pressing a little tender kiss to the tip of your nose. he's doing it now, but in your head, holding you with his warm hands, smiling with that cheeky smile, ruffling your hair, all before pulling you into a bear hug that would crush you if he wasn't mindful enough. all in your head, but it works. it's paired with him right next to you, the mind-caleb making you listen to him, the body-caleb making you unable to focus on those ridiculous thoughts with the way his fingertip massages your sweetest spot.

"there we go," he quietly chuckles once that satisfied sigh purrs from your lips, "relax with me, pips, you're okay." it's toe-curlingly good when he adds another finger, the soft squelching sound of your sweet cunt sucking it in almost the only thing heard in the air in front of the curtain of the soft sounds of rain. he lifts his head a little more, resting his lips against your shoulder. the kisses burn through the oversized pyjama top that covers you, echoing in the darkness while his hips grind against your backside. he's getting harder by the second, each roll of his hips making him wish he could be buried inside you already, but he's slowly working you to relax your body and mind. he's patient, always making sure you're doing well when he's with you, one way or another.

"that's… yeah that's good." giving him feedback always feels unnecessary, the proof is all over his fingers, slick liquid coating the long digits while they pump in and out of you. his soft chuckle is in your ear, vibrating your body as he slowly takes his fingers out of you and brings them up to lick them off slowly, not stopping the rolls of his hips. rutting into your flesh, he makes incredibly quick work of sucking your arousal off his fingers and almost impatiently sliding his boxers off just enough to free himself.

a soft grunt into your ear. a nimble hand sliding those pesky panties aside. practised movements, showing how much he's learned since the very first time you let him touch you like this, guide his cock to your warm pussy.

slow, careful movement, his hips roll until they're flush with your ass again, and he's finally inside you once more. a feeling he'll never get used to, as he's said countless times before, your pussy loves me, she keeps hugging me back, pipsqueak. it always earns him a smack on the chest, but he loves the way your eyes roll every time. now, in the darkness, he can hardly see your eyes, but he knows they're fluttering with how he's sliding into you.

"just good, huh…" he murmurs, a moment before taking your earlobe in between his teeth and pulling gently. "got more work ahead of me i guess then."

he's nestled comfortably inside you, taking a few moments before he moves again, savouring the wetness that lets him do this so easily. caleb breathes out so slowly, right into your ear, and you know he's thinking it… how damn needy you must be that it hardly took any effort before he could do this. but he doesn't ask why you haven't come sooner, not when the little noises already start leaving your lips. you can almost feel the curl of his lips against your ear when you moan so softly, music in his ears, healing balm on his heart knowing that he's making his pipsqueak feel so good. he's warm inside of you, so much better than you could ever feel on your own, your fingers only ever reaching so far, even with his voice guiding you expertly through the phone because he knows how to play your body.

now his long, nimble fingers glide along your stomach once more, not stopping at your soft skin until they reach the flesh of your breast that fits so perfectly into his hand, it's like a sign from the sky itself that he's meant to hold you like this. a gentle squeeze, just enough to make your little moan stutter, and he's moving again. slowly, slowly pulling his hips away from your ass only to bring them back, slot himself inside you as much as he can with one languid motion. like the waves that lap at the shore, his movements persist, slow and constant, gentle and loving. like the clouds that kiss the mountaintops, he clings to you and holds on for his sanity. it's the easiest thing, closing your eyes shut in this moment, but still picturing his face so clearly behind your eyelids. his brown hair that sometimes tickles your nose if he leans down to kiss you, the purple eyes that see your very essence, that undress you without ever trying, that know you better than anyone else, including yourself. the mouth that riles you up and laughs and tells you all the sweet things that you deserve to hear. the mouth that's pressed against your ear now, slipping low grunts into it with every roll of his cock into your warm cunt.

it's like heaven that nobody can take away from you. the most comforting of places, the most comforting of people, touching you just right, giving you the gentlest pinch on your nipple. it's almost enough to forget yourself, almost enough to get a little too into it with a moan that should've been dampened by the pillow, but instead it crackles through the darkness, making caleb twitch behind you.

"hey… gotta keep it quiet now, pips," he breathes out into your cheek now, pressing a kiss there between his words, "can you keep it down for me?"

you wish you could promise, you really do, but it's been a while, and while you know how to keep it down one way or another, be it pressed into the pillow or biting your tongue, your lips simply won't cooperate. caleb sighs when you try, and fail, to keep your next noise at an acceptable volume, enough not to alert your grandma down the hall, so he reacts quickly. his hand leaves your soft breast and presses against your mouth. your face relaxes, no longer trying so damn hard to keep it in, since caleb always helps. now the loudest sound other than the rain and occasional thunder is his low grunt that follows every thrust into you, a little faster now that his forehead starts to sweat. he leans it against the back of your head again, resting his cheek on the soft pillow while his hand vibrates with the sounds of your whines.

so precious, he always says, feeling your toes curl against his shins, especially when he reaches your sweetest spot, the one that always has you tense up around him. it spurs him on a little more with each whimper that his fingers absorb, sending shivers along his entire arm until he feels them in his very heart. he speeds up once you wiggle those tensed up toes in an attempt to relieve some pressure building in your body, knowing you're getting close. caleb's hand presses against your mouth a little tighter, knowing you're going to get louder once he gets to the rhythm that usually gets you off. and, to nobody's surprise, you absolutely do.

his other hand slithers underneath your body to reach your clit and rub it in time with his now frantic thrusts. even in this state of impending bliss, tension so tight in your abdomen that you feel like you could burst any moment now, you know he'd rather let you cry out so the walls of his bedroom remember his name. you know, he's told you so many times in that signature teasing tone, that it's one of his favourite feelings, getting to hold you while you quiver like a leaf on water, so damn close to orgasm, so close to letting him experience the heaven that is your cunt squeezing him tightly as you slowly relax. just keeping that in mind, it's easy to imagine how tightly his brows must be furrowing behind you, forehead pressed against your hair, lips pressed tightly together as he whimpers out something that could only be your name, all muffled and desperate while his hips snap against you.

your eyes roll back as you whine the last attempt at his name behind the secure grip of his hand. shuddering, you tense up and feel your insides follow suit. caleb groans into the back of your head, never immune to the way you contract around him, never one to deny you as your warmth demands him to empty inside you. and he does. with stuttering movements, barely pulling away, barely holding on, he gives you his all.

warm, sticky, familiar. his movements slow down to the beginning pace, letting you ride out the high with a treat — his index finger now slipping between your lips to keep your tongue busy. you suck on it gently, tasting yourself and his skin, slowly coming back down, descending into the comfortable warm bed, once again increasingly aware of his firm body pressed against yours.

caleb is in no hurry to pull out. no, in fact, he's most comfortably when his cock is buried inside you. softening and feeling his release mixed with yours coating his entire shaft, it's almost enough to sway him back to sleep. he pops his finger out of your mouth and turns your head to the side to catch the corner of your lips in a brief kiss. short and sweet, like you, he often says. heavy breaths, raindrops, and sheets rustling echo in your ears.

it's all good again, at least for now. falling asleep in his arms, once again wrapped tightly around your frame, pulling you closer into his body while he stays inside you. that's how you fall asleep most easily, never once waking in cold sweat thinking you're in danger. and now your eyes are heavy again, not with worry, but with blissful exhaustion. your muscles relax and press against caleb, your safety in a storm, the light in this darkness. you have time to make up for the lost opportunities, he said it himself. he'll come back home to you again, and again, and again. he'll be with you whenever you need him, he'll give you all the time in the world.

♡ if you enjoyed this, consider leaving a like, reblog, or a comment. interaction helps keep your writers motivated! also if you don't agree with any aspect of this that's okay, this is just my opinion and it's hella self-indulgent!

[shitapril]

recap of the 2024 f1 secret santa gift exchange -

firstly, every driver made it absolutely clear what they thought of how well the gift was wrapped, knowing fully well none of them wrapped their own gifts.

george saying alex would be the best amongst the drivers at gift-wrapping and later in the video alex giving absolute rubbish to the person who wrapped his gift oh they're so dear to me.

george thanking liam for the book on modelling and kiwi bracelet, but emphasising he will use neither of them.

oscar accepting alex's padel class coupons but insisting alex is in fact worse (i'm yet to decide who i'm inclined to believe)

alex being the lucky driver that gets a bare-behind photo of one valtteri bottas.

esteban getting some nerdy car thing but letting the people know it's actually cheap.

pierre and lance got each other and the millionaires gifted each other ... t-shirts yes.

we learn of the real reason zhou scored points this season and it has to do with a chili costume and a certain spanish driver.

zhou finally got a thoughtful present (it's a pillow with his cat sweetcorn on it and it's adorable).

lando refusing to accept his padel classes coupon - mclaren team bonding exercise decided ?

"who would disrespect you like this ?" lando, without hesitation - "george" - and he was right

I refuse to elaborate on franco's antics because you should watch the actual video just for him. every time you think you've seen the last of him, no you haven't. I love him.

[aethon-recs]

This Week (x2) in Tomarrymort (25 October – 7 November 2024)

Hello again! We have two multi-chaptered fics finishing this week, highlighted below, as well as a bunch of delicious one-shots and chapter updates as always.

Completed Fic:

Sits the wind in that quarter by @mosiva (M, 61k, complete) “After something of a long absence, Lord Riddle, the Earl of Gaunt, had returned to London.” This is a really cool Regency and Omegaverse AU (how cool is that to see that combined??) that features a lot of courting, gossip and intrigue, social climbing, and Alpha Tom Riddle along with Beta Harry Potter.  Broken Tomarrymort Telephone: Collected Stories by @exquisite-tomarrymort-telephone (E, 109k, complete)  A Tomarrymort version of the Broken Telephone game — passing a whispered word or phrase around a circle, with it often evolving into something quite different as it goes from person to person. “In our version, the starting person received a secret prompt and wrote a fic based on it. They then created a prompt for the next person by summing up what they had written in a single sentence -- with the caveat that their prompt couldn't use the same words as the prompt they were given. This continued through twenty-six (26!) different authors and artists, each adding their own flair and creativity to the exercise. Which brings us to now! We're wrapping up the creation part, so it's time to start sharing it with the world. We hope you enjoy what we've created -- we certainly enjoyed making it.”

In addition, a recap of the author notes from last week. (Please feel free to add some extra context to your fic update in the reblog, such as a little bit about the chapter(s) updated, and I’ll throw it in the update for next week!)

every step i choose to take begins to set the world aflame by @boyneptunee (NR, 4k, WIP) “Tom Riddle wants to become immortal. He will do whatever it takes to achieve it. It gets him in the most interesting situations. (A Phoenix saves his life. The Phoenix is not a Phoenix.)” These Fragments We've Shored by @rowena-rain (M, 31k, WIP) “You call me here because you crave atonement, and only I can give you that. After all, I am the only other who knows what it means to tear one’s soul. Or, as one very astute commenter put it, "Enter Voldemort, the World's Worst Therapist!" (Sorry in advance - Voldemort basically wrote this chapter lol)” Touch of Death by @moontearpensfic (E, 6k, WIP) “An oviposition AU, where Eldritch Harry/Death gives Tom his eggs, which will protect Tom from, well, death. In chapter two, the eggs hatch.” Time Stumbler by @wintumnly (T, 96k, WIP) “One part of my slowburn Harry-raises-Tom series. It ends in Tomarry, but everything building up to that point is unhinged humor, not-good-at-feelings fluff, and angsty plot surrounding Harry and Tom's chaotic and ever growing affections for one another. Update 23 explores Unconditional Love, and there will be familial love, friendship love, flirtatious love, obsessive love and others in future parts.”

*

Tomarrymort One Shots and Completed Fic

Chapters 26 and 27 (Completed) of Sits the wind in that quarter by @mosiva

Chapters 1 through 27 (Completed) of Broken Tomarrymort Telephone: Collected Stories by @exquisite-tomarrymort-telephone

One Shot | Resonating Souls by @endlessburningdarkness

One Shot | Anabiosis by @lee-bella

One Shot | Bites and other Surprises by lemonchase

One Shot | Viticula by @crowcrowcrowthing @cindle-writes

One Shot | Speedrunning Danger by @i-dream-of-libraries

One Shot | Karma’s a bitch by @albondiguilla007

One Shot | It's Like This by @twopenguinsinabox

One Shot | Boulder On by @lumosatnight

One Shot | WTF, Potter?! by @dragonaireabsolvare

One Shot | a couple inches shorter by @2sidesofthesamesoul

One Shot | bloody money by @00queasy00

One Shot | Cerulean blue by @albondiguilla007

One Shot | It's Not Always What It Seems by dysproporsium 

One Shot | To be Entwined by @cyandenial

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Tomarrymort Ongoing Fics

Chapter 6 of And the Living Will Envy the Dead by @k-s-morgan

Chapter 18 of A Simple Request by @shyinsunlight

Chapters 3 through 6 of in the silence by @satflesk22

Chapter 7 of Anytime, Anywhere, Always by @moontearpensfic

Chapters 15 and 16 of the stars, my destination by @milkandmoon-ao3

Chapter 11 of Ills of Murder by @shadow-of-the-eclipse

Chapter 2 of In My Lover's Room (i am free) by @hyalithium

Chapters 1 through 5 of To the Hilt by @izharmilgram

Chapter 10 of Strings of Fate by @dizzydreamer

Chapters 2 and 3 of If I were you by @onehitpleb

Chapter 25 of would that i'd loved (long ago) by @sprst1tion

Chapter 18 of with eyes like these (who sees anybody else) by @cealesti

Chapter 9 of 7 by @moontearpensfic

Chapters 3 and 4 of you speak of the devil (like he's not your friend) by @amuria

Chapter 24 of Time Stumbler by @wintumnly

Chapter 20 of Outrunning the Villain in You by @zenyteehee

Chapter 19 of Of Darkness and Luminescence by @mindchroniclesandbrainfluff

Chapters 6 and 7 of Memories of a Killer by @chemfreakwriting

Chapter 1 of ROOTED by @inhumanbby

Chapter 1 of baby, turn the bright lights on by @ictyn

Chapter 1 of Harry's No Good, Very Bad Day by @2sidesofthesamesoul

Chapter 15 of Double-Aspect Paradox by TimaeusKosmou

Chapter 15 of Saint Harry by @alenablack @chaos-bear

Chapter 7 of Fetters of the Damned by @sc0rpiflow3r

Chapters 131 and 132 of Liquida Tenebris (Remastered) by @dymis

Chapter 1 of Wish by @sri-verse

Chapter 10 of flour power by Kozzie

Chapter 5 of What quickens me is the violence in thee by @i-dream-of-libraries

Chapter 20 of Occultation by TimaeusKosmou

Chapters 21 and 22 of Learning to love by @l-archiduchesse

Chapters 1 and 2 of The Serpent and the Stag by @green-like-the-sky

Chapter 2 of Fake Boyfriend by J0305

Chapter 7 of i am anonymous, you are a concrete wall by Pensievable

Chapter 8  of we made universes out of bitten lips and broken hands by @boyneptunee

Chapter 8 of Lesmosyne by TimaeusKosmou

Chapter 2 of Your Wish, My Command by @moontearpensfic

Chapters 6 and 7 of Venom or Valor by @lightningant

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[couchtorunnerbee]

substitute practice - RECAP!

Yeah it was super Hard. But I did it! :)

[so-i-did-this-thing]

What's your favorite movie?

Auntie Mame (1958), starring Rosalind Russell, is usually my stock answer. It's a childhood favorite of both mine and my sister's, so we bond regularly over quoting various scenes.

The character Mame Dennis is also #lifegoals with her open heart, quick wit, progressive nature, and unapologetic approach to living life to its fullest. A quick recap of the plot, courtesy of Wikipedia:

"Patrick Dennis, orphaned in 1928 when his father Edwin dies unexpectedly, is placed in the care of his aunt, Mame Dennis, in Manhattan. Mame is flamboyant and exuberant, hosting frequent parties with a variety of guests and free-spirited friends, including the frequently drunk actress Vera Charles; Acacius Page, who runs a progressive school with nudist exercises; and Lindsay Woolsey, a book publisher and devoted suitor. Quickly becoming maternal toward Patrick, Mame aims to give him as broad a view of life as possible. "

There's more to it than that - Mame has to navigate the Great Depression, her own love life, and dealing with her little boy growing up to become a man.

It's pretty accessible to newer audiences - the structure is mostly episodic. It's also very funny. Highly recommend - it was one of the first movies I showed my partner when we were swapping favs during our courtship (or whatever that was).

[housemdork]

house md rewatch: 1x09, "DNR"

overwhelmed at the thought of writing this recap because this episode is so full of The Good Stuff.

first and foremost - we love omar epps in this house! he was so brilliant in this episode. his ability to differentiate foreman's frustration for 3 different audiences - house; chase and cameron; dr. hamilton - carried the whole experience. and foreman's genuine embarrassment when house heard foreman say that he has no humility, but letting his beliefs supersede that embarrassment? ugh. i love it. thank you again, omar.

much like 1x05, this episode is another exercise in house vs. authority/other belief systems, the opposition in this case being the ethics of a DNR. it doesn't surprise me that house is anti-DNR (surely this has no implications for later seasons...), but it was surprising that cameron, chase, and even cuddy seem at least slightly opposed, too. maybe this is a common point of contention among doctors. obviously i have no idea. but cuddy doesn't penalize/chew house out for keeping the patient, john henry, alive like we expect her to. instead, she reveals that 1) she's had a $50k discretionary fund for house's legal fuck-ups ever since he started, and 2) she's going to help lawyer-him-up. a rare case of ethical similarities between them!

lodging a complaint directly @ season 1 - where is cuddy!! i miss her!! get her back in these episodes for more than 30 seconds!!

i'll also wager that this is the episode that confirms (in season 1's small way) that foreman does not like house. but oh man does he respect him. foreman doubts his coworkers very moral codes because they're seemingly unbothered by house's behavior. regardless of foreman's opinion of DNRs, his integrity keeps him from violating it. integrity and humility are exceptionally valuable to foreman at the episode's start, both of which house dismantles during their third act confrontation.

this is by far the most impassioned that we've seen house, which lends a whole lot of credence to cameron's theory that, if house tries to convince foreman to stay, it implies that he needs him. everyone point and laugh at the misanthrope who broke his misanthropy! for a guy who doesn't even like him, no less!

within this, too, house admits to holding foreman in high regard. when he asks foreman who he thinks the better doctor is - house or hamilton - he says that it won't affect his opinion of himself, but it will affect how he sees foreman, because if foreman acquiesces to hamilton's shallow way in the world, then foreman has failed. then house has failed foreman.

and, of course, the visual politics here are pretty flagrant, but pretty awesome, nonetheless. foreman is so anxious about becoming house (something that he'll repeatedly try to escape in the future, as we know) that he's physically manipulating himself in a way that neither he nor house sits like naturally, only to later sit like as a person usually would in a heated exchange with an authority figure:

i think house's speech to foreman bears repeating here because it does 2 things: codifies the pretty global opinion regarding medical professionals that house md inspired, and also feeds more into House As God.

"you took a chance. you did something great. you were wrong. but it was still great. you should feel great that it was great. you should feel like crap that it was wrong. that's the difference between him and me. he thinks you do your job, and what will be will be. i think that what i do and what you do matters."

this works on foreman. he stays. that's how upstanding he is. he's willing to work with someone who does, in fact, abuse the hell out of him, because they coalesce on a singular, but massively important point: what they do matters. it saves people.

relevant anecdote: i have a long medical history from childhood and resulting medical trauma (which is the reason i put off watching this show for a decade!). so when i say that i'd rather have a doctor like house, who finds the solution, rather than basking in apology and self-doubt, like what he sees in hamilton, i mean it. i think a lot of people came to feel this way, too.

what also comes of this exchange is house's stalwart belief that he can control everything, that he can exist beyond the legal, ethical, moral, etc. confines of the system in which he works. he rejects the premise of a DNR because it signifies giving up (in his mind); it signifies a voluntary failure to solve the puzzle, which, we know, alludes to house actually caring about people, despite claiming the contrary. i'll say it a million times: someone doesn't make their purpose in life healing PEOPLE if they don't care about PEOPLE. go to a research lab, greg, if you truly hate humanity.

house's half of the episode is devoted to unpacking What He Does and its implications for the rest of his life. his anger toward foreman also comes from how he sees himself in john henry, a musician whose illness and disability have taken from him what he loves most. he and foreman butt heads about this dilemma at the very top of 1x09 when house says ALS is "a disease of exclusion...it's a death sentence," and foreman replies with, "that doesn't make it wrong."

1x09 quickly and blatantly draws the parellel between john henry and house, going so far as to grant them a conversation about how they're both "south from normal" on account of their respective obsessions: music and medicine. in a rare moment of canonical introspection, house understands and agrees with john. BUT, because he's opposed to the DNR, he can't make the same inner peace with the "failure" that he sees in john. he takes him to the MRI anyway and ends up curing the guy, of course.

the reason this episode is so good on so many accounts is that it doesn't settle for that one parallel between doctor and patient. it reiterates it in the last few minutes, while also finally addressing house's most obvious/most overlooked problem: his vicodin. after successfully playing god, disproving ALS, and helping john henry walk again, they encounter each other in the hospital lobby, each holding the physical representation of their One Thing, music (john's trumpet) and medicine (house's leather bag).

despite being so desperate in dragging john henry away from "failure," house appears slightly gloomy at seeing john henry so rejuvenated. when he asks house where he can buy canes, house says in a wry voice, "you'll be jogging before you need a second one." audiences still don't know how house became disabled, but it's seeming more and more like a tragic accident that can't be healed. he brought back john from the brink, but he's stuck in his own leeway not far behind.

when john henry gives house his trumpet, he's giving up his One Thing. he's achieved an inner peace - only through house's dedication to his One Thing, solving the puzzle - and can move onto a new phase of his life. house feels that he can't, so he pops a vicodin.

so, finally, john henry asks of house what we've been dying to know for 9 episodes now: "how many of those pills are you taking?" with the unspoken "and why?"

house gives his telltale answer for the first time: "i'm in pain."

even for the audience, the walls are back up. that was the biggest glimpse we're getting for the time being, especially since those who are most aware of his addiction - cuddy and wilson - are so desensitized to it.

i love this one! a whole lot! tbh i'm having a much better time with season 1 than i expected. i watched so much of it in an excited rush for the first time that i missed some of the gems in every episode.

OH. and wilson was there. the courtroom scene was funny but kinda irrelevant to any analysis i could bring up here, but check out how good he looked during it: