#i literally own some of them already but im just not in the mental space to start smth new right now. which i have SAID!!!!

[phagodyke]

i keep getting irrationally miffed at ppl 😐😐

[nefermaet]

I'm sorry im very confused. I know the basics but it seems like so much has blown up recently. Did you call ICE on somebody or just say you had to bait them into showing their asses. What is the point of this, other than to rightfully exile blud from the industry but aside from that??

I never said that I would call ICE. I never even implied I would call ICE in the original post. The furry community took a single screenshot of an inside joke out of proportion, and activated my trap card. For a bunch of people with carnivore fursonas, many of them will act like lambs to the slaughter when one of "their own" is challenged.

My thing is, I also control the company I keep. There's a narrative where all of a sudden a Black creator is "having a mental breakdown" live on bsky and people are watching as if I'm in a human zoo. It was trap for me to figure out as a showrunner and series head, who was fam and who needed to take themselves out before I opened up applications for Kerberos.

If you actually read the screenshots, AND know the context, you'd know it's written in code:

I've been dealing with cyberstalking and character theft since around 2023 from DogBlud and The Werewolf Gestapo. There's a small group of werewolf artist adjacent to the furry community who goon and coom over the ideologies of Werewolf: The Apocalypse series, which is well documented for being extremely right-leaning, racist, and fascist.

These are (predominantly) older white queers (40+ mostly) who hated me and hated Strawberry Moon for being "woke" werewolf media, and are canceling me in a very small sector of online spaces. This is after I had already outed DogBlud for being a sexual predator, racist, ableist, etc. She's literally their Donald Trump, making "connections" and preying on other artist with bribes and promises of "community," when it's just a small clique of white loosers and their enablers (some of which are POC and fully understand the gravity of what's going on).

I was abused by Dog and it's thoroughly documented on my end, but even with all my evidence, they tried to bury me, "starve it of oxygen," as she so eloquently put it. They would rather prop up fucking Femcel Trump, then have a Black person anywhere near that community unless they stay in line including FROSTY YOU FUCKING CANDICE OWENS UNCLE RUCKUS ZIPPIDY DOO DAH ASS BITCH.

All I wanted to do was tell a story about a Black trans woman coping with depression, and they de transed her and made her a slave to a white character. Since I wouldn't "fall in line" they made Appendix steal my design. It's well documented that she's done this before in other online spaces, dating back to the early days of GW2 and Pokemon Gijinka forums.

I'd already invited an undercover Feminazi into my personal space once because of how much they've been covering for her lies. I'm not making that same mistake again.

I grew up Black Baptist in the Southeast, I've weathered worse storms then some internet drama I can walk away from (literally) at any time. Meanwhile they gonna stay mad and scared forever. I can't undo the actual curse I placed, so that's up to Papa Ra now.

[prettieinpink]

Being that girl once again- back to school!

It’s back to school season everyone, and my favourite times of the year. In this post im going to give you stuff to do for back to school + advice in specific areas of your school life! I hope everyone can take away something from this post <3 

THINGS TO DO BEFORE BACK TO SCHOOL <3

Revise your past term content in your core subjects, ensure there’s nothing you do not understand(it’s better to understand now than have to understand later)

Review what you are going to be learning for this current term in your core subject, you don’t have to study it, just familiarise yourself. 

Catch up with your friends- hang out, call or text before the new school term. My favourite thing is to create predictions of drama, couples etc in the upcoming term w my girlies!

Create SMART goals for you to achieve that term, in any aspect you want. I say; 1 goal for academics, 1 goal for social and 1 goal for extracurriculars/sports. 

Clean your room !! do a deep clean and declutter. E.g wipe down all surfaces, hover pillows, vacuum floor, clean mirrors, take out any clothes you dislike

Do an everything shower + face masks!!

ACADEMICALLY

Everyday afterschool, revise everything that you’ve learnt today + the things that you struggle on

Anytime you get homework, complete it as soon as possible. Most of the time, it’s easy and non time consuming. 

Create study guides for exams/tests while actually learning instead of when the assessments are actually coming up. It saves you a lot of time, which you can use for studying effectively.

If you don’t already, have a specific learning/studying style that works for you. E.g flashcards, blurting, mind map, spaced repetition, the feynman technique. (ofc you can have multiple). Just know the pros and cons of each studying technique. 

Or, what I do is that I assign specific studying techniques to different subjects e.g science - blurting, HASS - flashcards, maths - the feynman technique. This may be different to what you have the most success learning.

Have a place, time every day or at least most days, where you can study without distractions. I like to study at the library afterschool, it’s chill and literally void of any distractions.

The only advice in which i’ll say is not optional– do practise questions under the said test conditions. Stop using websites, listening to music, being on your phone etc. Get in the zone and transfer the environment. 

SOCIALLY

Make an effort to say hi or goodbye to some people, even if you do not know them that well. If you’re up for it, ask them how they are going or how their day has been.

Start remembering names and birthdays. This will literally make people like you so much more, it’s so simple but people swoon over this. Process names in your mind and write down birthdays in your calendar. 

Don’t be afraid to talk to others. Most people do not care if you talk to them, and some are glad that you talk to them. This is how people become well-known or well-liked. 

Watch videos on how to converse with people you do not know well effectively and become close with them. TED x has a lot of videos on this, and are usually helpful. 

Don’t try to fit in with the crowd. It’s so draining, and even if you think they do, they most likely dislike you(sorry!) . Instead, find/be with your people. 

Join a club/extracurricular. You meet so many like-minded people this way, while still developing your own skills. I say everyone should at least have one solid extracurricular. 

If you are in a talking stage, three weeks is enough time for him or you to decide if you’re willing to date them. It’s not the 1920s anymore, we have imessages, facetime, skype and others to communicate and get to know each other without contact

Call out your friends if you notice them doing something toxic or generally anything they shouldn’t do. E.g gossiping, getting mad at others, bullying someone. If they continue, it will influence you in the long run.

MENTALLY 

Reframe your mindset. I know most of us do not favour school, but do not dwell on negativity and find ways to be positive/neutral about your circumstances. You’ll feel so much better.

Detach. Detachment is literally essential in highschool, there’s so much drama and most likely you will somehow get tied up in it. Stop absorbing what happens and let it influence you, observe what happens and learn from it. I have a post on this here. 

Start saying affirmations everyday. I know affs are usually viewed as a manifestation thing, but it doesn’t have to be. It can be a simple one minute way to cultivate a neutral/positive perspective of yourself. 

Journal. Things will happen, so journaling is a great way to discuss your circumstances, feelings, trauma, relationships etc and develop a sense of identity at the same time. I have a post on this here. 

Meditate. It can be go-go-go constantly, but just take a break and gain some mental clarity and see how much better you feel decluttering your mind. 

Embrace a change and growth mindset, especially in an environment where we are constantly required to adapt. 

PHYSICALLY

Start stretching.. seriously. You sit at a desk for like 5 hours a day excluding lunch and recess, everyday, which is of course going to do a number on your body. It can relieve pain in many different areas.

Have at least 1 form of exercise you do everyday. I know being students, we have to sit at a desk constantly. But, do not give up on practising good exercise habits. Not only can it help with results, it’s good for you.

Get the recommended sleep of 6-8 hours per night, which is good quality sleep without disruptions. It helps with long term memory and you’ll feel better. 

Start packing healthy but tasty lunches to school instead of buying. You’ll save so much money in the long run, and it’s better for your body. 

BEAUTY 

Get your uniforms tailored just a bit. Not too noticeable, but enough that it fits better on your body. Especially for button formal shirts, as they make you look 10 times as bulky than what you actually are. 

Buy new jewellery, earrings, necklaces or whatever you’re allowed. Subtle but noticeable jewellery makes girls look so pretty.

Learn new hairstyles!! Don’t just wear the same hair everyday, mix it up, it’s fun and makes you look attractive. 

Get a good eyebrow gel + clear mascara. Legit life changer, I look so much better everyday because I look put together without make up.

apply  vaseline on areas you would apply highlight, but avoid your eye area. 

Have a good skincare regime!! Being a student is stressful, getting pimples is a sign of stress. 

Okay that's it. Happy back to school everyone! Here’s an affirmation for you <3

I am intelligent and capable. I am skilled and confident in my abilities. I am perceived well by others. I am healthy. I am wealthy. I am looking for this term to be full of good grades, vibes, friends, growth and fun. 

[hp-hcs]

yanxidarlings here~ literally screamed when i saw you followed me because your writings were the direct inspiration for my latest post 💖 but im curious to see your take on yandere! poly! mattheo and theodore with m! reader or just more poly headcanons because i am never. going. to. get. enough. of. them

OH MY FUCKING GOD UR KIDDING I WAS THE ANON WHO REQUESTED UR LATEST POST

IM FEELING STARSTRUCK RN 🙇‍♂️👑

requests open, please dear god

Yk, reader is (lovingly) so fucking oblivious

Like, his friends will be like “hey you’re getting pretty close with like, the two most obsessive and violent guys at this school aha”

And reader will be like “lol they’re so silly goofy aren’t they 😌”

Inspired purely by your “you know people think we're gay and dating, right?” “aren't we?” I present:

“you know people think we’re gay and dating, right?” “aren’t we?” — yandere! mattheo riddle x oblivious! male! reader x yandere! theodore nott

completely unedited cause i gotta sprint to my lecture broski

TWs: possessive/obsessive behavior, brief mentions of violence, one instance of slut-shaming (?)

••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

Honestly, you thought nothing of it when you were informed that due to “space issues” you were being moved to room with The Theos™. You just shrugged and followed the very anxious house-elf who had informed you of the switch to your new room.

Your trunk and belongings were there already, waiting to be set up and organized. Mattheo and Theo were hovering in the doorway looking a bit too pleased with the situation for comfort.

You just quietly said “hi” and moved past them, dumping your school bag on your new bed and flopping down next to it.

Theo and Mattheo practically trip over themselves rushing to “befriend” you. (Their words, not mine)

You all share a dorm, so it wasn’t long before they realized the other was obsessed with you.

Then, it’s all out war.

I’m talking mysterious falls down the moving stairs, getting locked out of the dorm all night, randomly being chased by bludgers—even when they aren’t playing.

Random fistfights between them whenever they see each other in the halls.

That all goes out the window, though, when reader is asked out.

Reader comes back to his dorm after a long day and finds The Theos sitting side-by-side on the edge of the his bed.

“When were you going to tell us that you became the class whore?” Mattheo drawled, his lips thinning in disapproval and disgust.

“W-what?” You ask, completely taken aback.

“We heard that little Y/N L/N’s got himself a date to the Yule Ball,” Theodore adds. “Who is it? That Parkinson girl? The Diggory boy?”

“Wh- no. I said no anyways.”

The boys scrutinize you, exuding an air of judgement.

Finally, Theodore pipes up. “Good boy.”

😳

“Aww, what’s this? Look, Riddle. Y/N’s blushing,” Theodore teases.

They make a quick mental note of that 📝

Anyways, they eventually find out who asked you out. They call a ceasefire on their own personal war, and team up to beat the shit out of the poor guy/girl.

After that, babycakes, if they didn’t already know before, everyone at Hogwarts now knows that you are TAKEN. (Even though you don’t.)

They tolerate each other, but just barely. They can really only stand each other when you three all curl up in one of your beds or on the common room couch.

Then, they’re the clingiest mfs you’ve ever met.

They have absolutely no sense of a personal space bubble. One of them is always touching you in some way, whether it be holding your hand, resting a hand on your hip or shoulder, putting their hand on your lower back…

Theodore charmed your chair in History of Magic to be impossible to move, so you can’t scoot away from him.

If you’re relaxing on the couch in the common room, Mattheo will move to sit right next to you (like r i g h t next to you) and put your legs in his lap. He tried once before to get you to just sit in his lap, but you told him no (like an idiot) and avoided him for the rest of the day. That is, until you woke up to him in your bed next to you.

Homeboy was not happy about that.

He is manipulative as fuck and will gaslight you to no end. He uses his shitty childhood and bad father to get you to pity him.

(It works.)

It’s obviously disconcerting for you when your boyos go from ‘actively out for each other’s blood’ to ‘eh, you’re fine, i guess’

You guys were watching a movie in your dorm one night, all piled onto your bed, and they accidentally fell asleep there. They woke to you already gone for breakfast and them with their arms around each other.

“If you ever bring this up again, I’ll kill you.”

“Oh, believe me, they’d never find your body.”

They become way more open about their attraction to you, everything from kissing your cheek, to making you wear their clothes (esp their jerseys with their last name on them), to asking you your ring size.

I completely agree with your headcanon of Mattheo neck kisses 😩🤌

Eventually though, because you are an oblivious gay disaster, you’re just chilling on the couch and you’re like “Hey guys, you know everyone thinks we’re gay right? And like, all dating each other?”

“What, like we aren’t?”

y/n: 😳🤨☺️🏳️‍🌈👨‍❤️‍💋‍👨

[genderqueerdykes]

i read your post about punkness and thought i'd ask you since i love this account. i saw a tiktok (i know not a great place already) that said that you can't call yourself punk/be punk if you don't go to shows. is that true...? im severely disabled and deaf so i can't really listen to music and leave my house, but i've always identified myself with the punk/goth scene. i know music is a huge part of subcultures so i've always felt very left out of (online mainly) punk/goth spaces even though i try and participate in other ways.

hello there!

not only is that not true, but it's ableist and lame as hell. that is so pretentious, i am so tired of online punks distilling punk to "listens to loud music". and further more, people trying to create a divide between "real and fake punks." this is just the "POSER!!!!!!" fake goth shit from the 2000s all over again. punk shows are genuinely dangerous for a lot of people for quite literally no reason whatsoever. like they're enjoyable for many, but they are NOT accessible to disabled people in general. some places im sure go above and beyond but most are organized by someone who's intoxicated, or thinking about the "wow" factor more than anyone's safety or well being.

i don't go to shows anymore. i did for the better part of a year and then stopped because i am also disabled. most of the venues are VERY small and crowded. there is no room for mobility aids. i've had to be out on the floor with other people dancing and moshing without even a cane. you can very easily get pushed or hit or knocked down and people may or may not help you get up. also the crowds get filmed without anyone being informed beforehand that there might be filming happening and that might not feel welcoming to paranoid people

there's almost always flashing lights at shows for some reason, which can be extremely dangerous for epileptic and photosensitive individuals. these sorts of spaces are hell on earth for anxious people, people with PTSD, autism, schizophrenia, ADHD and many other kinds of neurodivergence and mental illness. there's generally not really spaces where you can decompress or stop hearing loud noises for a while. i literally just hung out outside most of the venues because the music was so loud it was making my ears ring. people with tinnitus and misophonia are going to struggle greatly in these environments

alcohol and drugs are the norms at these shows. often times, minors are not carded, and are in fact given booze and alcohol anyways because the show organizers just don't see that as a bad thing. i witnessed show organizers in my own area giving drugs and alcohol to minors and not carding anyone. i was offered so many different types of drugs and offered alcohol so many times it made me dizzy. i had issues with alcohol in the past and have trauma surrounding it and being around drunk people. these environments are NOT friendly for addicts and substance users who are trying to maintain a healthy relationship with substances, or those who need to be away from them in order to heal

like you mentioned, a lot of d/Deaf and hard of hearing people may not feel included in these spaces. not only that but shows can CAUSE hearing damage and loss, due to the fact that no one is making sure that the music is being played at a safe volume. most of the time it's as loud as the speakers will go, or close to it. most of the instruments are either intentionally poorly tuned, or tuned in such a way where they sound harsh, aggressive, avant garde and unique. as a result, this can hurt a lot of people's ears, overstimulate them, or cause them to faint if it's certain tones or decibels. i know many punks who developed hearing loss due to this

i tried to point out that saying that punks HAVE to listen to punk music is ableist toward d/Deaf and hard of hearing people but for whatever reason that pissed people off. but i'd like to stress again: if you assert that punks HAVE to listen to punk music, you are leaving out people with hearing difficulties. not all d/Deaf and hard of hearing people can't hear anything at all, I understand this. but saying that punks HAVE to listen to music is leaving out so many people with hearing difficulties or those who are in danger of losing their hearing. please be compassionate. this is a serious issue.

it's not virtue signalling to say that this affects deaf and hoh punks in a very serious way. thank you for reaching out to talk about it. honestly, shame on everyone who said it's virtue signalling to point out that punks saying you have to listen to music is a slap in the face to a lot of deaf and hoh people. i hope this gives you something to think about. you really need to consider people on every side of a spectrum when it comes to a disability. you need to care about people with significant or total hearing loss, too.

anyone who tells you you HAVE to go to shows and listen to punk music is a cop without realizing it. they're policing who punks are and what they do. that's gatekeeping. that's policing others' identities. that's literally unpunk. as long as you resonate with punk ideals and aren't a cop or other kind of fascist, you're a punk. it really is that simple. it's an entire subculture outside of just the music. i get how important the music is. but it's literally so ableist to say that punks HAVE to listen to music and HAVE to go to shows.

also, not all punks have the time. some punks have a family to care for or careers they enjoy. not all punks have a local punk music scene at all. that's a very privileged approach if you ask me.

[guppybibi]

𖦹 pairing: John Price x gn!reader (i think)

𖦹 content: Fat shaming:c but no angst? idk what to count as angst, comfort & fluff, mild cursing

𖦹 notes: guess what? It's self indulgent! uhh im sick so I'll probably write a pt2 with actual comfort in it once i get better

Another year, another family gathering. You’ve always dreaded this supposedly jolly reunion, and John knew that fully well. Even if you never straight up told him, the way you sluggishly prepared for the gathering made it awfully crystal clear. He wasn't blaming you either, he's been accompanying you to these events as your spouse ever since he could remember. And he's witnessed firsthand the horrid words being thrown at you, he never expected the sweet looking grandmas to call you out for being ‘fat’ the first time he came along with you. So after that, he understood why you disliked going so much.

“Are you sure you wanna go this year, lovie? We can say we got a fever or somethin’.” He questions, arms crossed while he watches you carefully comb through your hair. “You know we have to, I don't want to come but here we are..” To which he nodded in response, chuckling dryly as he attempted to help get the knots out of your hair. “Well at least the food is good.” You nodded, mind drifting off as you imagined the taste of the continuous plates of food and its aroma. “Yeah..maybe it isn't too bad.”

The two of you took your time in preparing, making sure you guys at least looked presentable. Though it wasn't just physically preparing, mentally as well. John could tell from the way your breaths were quicker, the way your chest heaved more than normal that you were internally panicking. He knew you felt obliged to come, he subtly starts massaging your tensing back, trying his best to make you feel at ease.

Soon the time came, the both of you pulling up to the reunion on time. You could already hear the women chattering, the men drinking and the children playing around. John properly parks the car, not taking any chances to get a ticket. (is that how it works??) “You ready, luv?” He questions, shoving the keys into the pocket of his jeans and linking your arms together. “Do I have much of a choice?” You question with an unimpressed look on your face, John laughs heartily while shaking his head. “Nope, no you don't luv. C’mon, let's get you in. Don't want my luvie to stay out in the cold for long.”

Then he lightly pushed you closer to the door, guiding each hesitant step you made. The closer you two got, the louder everything got. “Oh, there you two are!” One of the aunties exclaim once the door creaks open, unveiling the both of you. Unsurely, you wave your hand and feel all of the aunties surrounding you, it seems like personal space doesn't exist in the 21st century.

“Oh Y/N, we haven't seen you in ages!” One auntie comments, not so faintly glancing at your figure. “Seems like you're well fed, you've put on some weight!” Another woman remarks, pointing at your body. John could see how you try to laugh their words off, agreeing with them just for their own satisfaction. No talking back to your elders, apparently that was the right thing to do in these situations. They've said worse bullshit before, so John shrugs it off for now and keeps his temper down for the meantime.

Now (almost) everyone in the family is sitting at the huge dining table, the squirmy children already munching on the food because they could literally care less and since their family’s couldn't be bothered to sit them at a kiddie table. By due time, everyone is settled and happily eating the food prepared. Some small talks were made about how everyone’s life is doing, some well, some not so great. You and Price subconsciously engage with nods and commentary, so far they haven't asked you two any unnecessary questions that made you feel that your privacy was being invaded.

So far this was the case earlier, but now was the time apparently. “Speaking about our diets, it looks like our Y/N here hasn't been on one!” One woman spoke up, chuckling smugly while she downed a glass of wine. “Well it can't be helped, huh? It might be because of genetics, she's always been a pretty chubby kid!” Another noted, almost everyone at the table nodding along as they recalled how Y/N looked during their childhood. You could handle this, you thought to yourself. You've endured years of their countless insults, what's a little more going to do? Right?..It won't hurt as much anymore, right?

You sniffled as quietly as you could, possibly as quiet as a mouse. However, even if it was, John could hear it crystal clear. As if your feelings were a mere glass door for him, a fully opened book. Carefully, John wipes his mouth with the provided napkin. While you stare at him in mild confusion, wondering why he looks like he's about to dash out of here. “Excuse me and Y/N, something urgent came up. I’m afraid we have to leave now, thank you.” You could sense the hurry in John's voice, bowing your head slightly to apologize to your family as he drags you out of the venue.

Now John is driving you two back to your shared home, the radio playing a random jingle that neither of you cared for. “You didn't have to y’know..I can handle them.” “Doesn't mean you should endure them, if I were you I’d probably never show up ever again.” He sighs exasperatedly, the grip he has on the steering wheel tightening even further.

“They're still my family.”

“And true families don't treat family like that.”

“..You're going to have a rebuttal for everything I say, don't you?”

“No doubt about it, now sit back and relax while I take you home.”

[windvexer]

i apologize for the silly question but how can you protect an already created item or make it protective? i don't know why it's not really computing in my head

If you can't/don't want to modify the item at all, some ideas:

Consecrate it. Through a consecration, rebirth, or baptism ritual, kill the object's old fate (let's say, as a class ring), and then give it new life as a protective object.

The physical body stays the same but you have changed its fate and its life; you've made it into something else.

This consecration should focus specifically around protection. So you are consecrating it to the purpose of protection; you are changing its fate to one of being a protector; you are rebirthing it into a life of protecting.

Another option is to consecrate it unto a protective god or spirit. Suppose you get along quite famously with the protection work that Mars (planet) does. You can consecrate the ring to be a Talisman of Mars, a Martial Shield, a Protection Amulet of the Red Planet.

The function of consecration in this context is to set a very rock-solid ""mental"" body within the physical object. (I believe it goes beyond that; I believe you're literally fucking around with fate, which is a good thing.)

Enchant it. I think at this time I would not consider consecration to be the same as enchantment. We can take a class ring and give it a new life as a protector.

But the enchantment is like outfitting the protector with weapons, armor, and a warhorse.

So just consecrating something on its own I think does something, but maybe nothing spectacular.

To do an enchantment, find powers or correspondences which do the same kinds of things you want the protection amulet to do. Maybe we want clove for space, basil for bravery and strength, and oak for a mighty defense.

During the casting of the spell, you might empower/charge/evoke power into the plants, and then direct that power to infuse into the class ring.

"Oak, you build an infinite wall that goes in every direction. None can pass you. And this power does not remain in this oak twig, but it goes into the ring. And within and around the ring, the wall is raised." That sort of thing.

Charge it. You can take a lot of protective energy, program it to do the kind of defense you want, and pour it directly into the ring. IME if you only do this, and you don't do enchantment/energy work to actually build a secure energy structure within the ring, the charge will fade quickly.

You could do just 1 or 2 of these things. You don't have to consecrate a ring to be a protector before you enchant it to protect.

But I believe it's like this:

Imagine a king (you) needs a knight. You could choose a random civilian off of the street and say, "you're a knight now!" and give them a horse and sword. This is like enchanting without consecration.

But you could also consult the oracle and find a person fated and foretold to be the most powerful protector in all the land. The key is, you're not only the king who can knight; you're also the god who assigns fate. This is like consecrating before enchanting/charging.

Finally, you can go down to the pub and say, "look. Free rounds all night to whoever goes and beats up the guy down the road." It'll cost a bit up front and your protector won't be around for long, but it'll work. This is like charging without enchanting or consecrating (or building energy structures, etc).

Overall I believe the most powerful artifacts are born under special stars (minding astrological timing when you create the vessel), consecrated to fate, enchanted with purpose, and charged with power. But you can skip any of these steps and only do the ones you can manage. It will work anyway, it just influences how long the magic will last, and the magnitude of the effects.

(Also btw this was not a silly question at all)

[ghost-proofbaby]

I would love a Getting to Know Eddie with your coffee shop blues Eddie. (I’ll let Abi ask for Maroon). 😘

(oh i don’t think i could tell abi much more about maroon eddie than i already have. the space under my desk when im writing maroon literally has her name on it <3)

alright. so. COFFEE SHOP BLUES EDDIE. first and foremost, that eddie is from my purely self indulgent barista!au for those of you who don’t know. for legal reasons, it’s totally not based on true experiences or a very real company. totally not. for legal reasons. but, the entire premise is this eddie entirely untouched from the upside down — non-canon compliance so we can be happy for once baby ! — and just playing around with who he is without all that. he gets the job as a barista, he’s a damn pessimist, and- well, i liked to play around with what would happen if he was the grumpiest barista to ever exist and got reality checked by a sunshine-incarnate barista. and, spoiler alert, the boy would probably melt. he does melt.

my inspiration is drawn entirely from uh… well… can i have a lawyer if i admit this? nah im just kidding he’s based on my own experiences! and contrary to what plenty of people have said to me (if i had a nickel every time said they imagine me as reader i’d be far richer than i am which makes me so 😭), eddie is the character based around me. i think he’d react very similarly to how i do most of the time at work. being grumpy, being so easily inconvenienced by every small thing, always huffing and puffing and wanting to be better. and i think reader is what i’d like to be. at the end of the day, it’s just a nice way to romanticize life, i guess. <3

my favorite headcanon that i’ve never shared in the story is that everyone actually finds that he’s very good at his job. it’s emphasized he isn’t necessarily friends with the other baristas, and there’s a whole lot of him internally comparing himself to the people he thinks do the job better (*cough* reader *cough*), but that whole “i can do better. i have to do better” mentality has led him to being quite good at the job actually. he puts himself down, says he isn’t that good, etc. but he is. customers like that feline grumpiness (the girls that come in regularly for frappucinos in the afternoon are always secretly hoping he’s there, definitely living their ‘i can fix him’ fantasy despite reader already having set sail on that boat), his coworkers admire him albeit they get a lil scared of him due to resting bitch face, and all that. he makes a mean fucking cappuccino. his drinks always just taste better. he’s just good. he’ll never admit it, but damn is he good at his job.

on a casual day, this man is living in comfy clothes. big band tees, plaid pajama pants or sweats. the only time he puts on jeans these days is when he works. which, i mean, listen — he works often. he lives his days by what shift he has, not by days of the week. weekends are nonexistent to him. he’s earned some damn comfort when he’s just at home, ya know? (also, most of his clothes that aren’t graphic tees or comfy pants just stink of coffee these days. ugh.)

his favorite food is probably the cake pops at work. he’s a sweet tooth fiend with them. someone accidentally breaks one when opening the packages? oh no !! he’ll take that off their hands. all of his free food mark outs? 50% cake pops. he’s on food? he’s definitely accidentally bagging and slipping one or two off to the side for himself. sometimes coworkers will try to convince him when he’s on the food position to slip them a free cake pop as well, and every time, he’s flipping them the bird and a quick “steal on your own time, bud”. (unless it’s reader. unless it’s sunshine. then, he’s caving, handing over the birthday cake pop he just marked out for himself without second thought. even if he rolls his eyes as he does it — he’d give her the world if she just asked).

his family situation is pretty close to canon — wayne. and obviously he has hellfire, he has corroded coffin, but all of those are just… small things. he’s finally graduated in this universe, so hellfire doesn’t meet as often. corroded coffin’s members are still in their senior year, so sometimes studying for a calculus test is overriding band practice for them. which i mean, was a bummer and led to him needing a distraction like a part time job (also — money) but it’s all good now, cause he gets to bug Sunshine on his days off when he’s bored. they’ve definitely exchanged numbers, and they’re definitely sending each other an obligatory dumb meme a day. sorry, i don’t make the rules.

he likes pop music. don’t ever ask him about it, he denies it, but Sunshine got him into all those radio hits. he’ll find himself humming along to the radio at work constantly too. and, the one time he and Sunshine worked a very rare, LITERALLY only happened once close together, they definitely were belting out britney spears’ “hit me baby one more time”, dancing around the closed stores and eddie using the mop as a mic while Sunshine tried to stock up all the cups. the shift on duty was unamused, to say the least.

he’s pretty pessimistic in all avenues, but there’s something deep inside of him that’s just a bit hopeless romantic. especially after meeting Sunshine. he listens to her prattle about her romance books all day, and he hates the fact that he finds himself smiling at some of those different scenarios she’s gushing about. but it’s cute, okay? besides, it’s only giving him more ideas about how to wow his favorite barista. sex, on the other hand, he’s still pretty bland on. he’s had one or two one night stands, names he’s forgotten at the Hideout after shows, and he’s not really got the energy to be some sex-crazed fuckboy. listening to his coworkers’ hookup stories and relationship problems work pretty well to remind him he could be doing far worse (but if anyone were to ask him what he thought of Sunshine in that context? oh. oh the poor boy. the scary dog facade fades, and his ears have never been pinker as he’s stuttering about having to grab something from the back that he just stocked. he’s just grateful she never seems to have her own escapades to talk about — he probably wouldn’t survive the world-ending jealousy that would cloud his vision.)

pessimistic. so so pessimistic.

a couple months ago, he would have said his room. alone. or practicing with cc, on his guitar. or behind his dm screens, watching as his little sheep panicked over the latest twist he’s revealed for his current campaign.

but now? maybe he’s just gone soft, but the first place he thinks of is a rainy afternoon in the back of his van, his head in Sunshine’s lap as they listen to the slight drizzle bounce off the roof. he swears if he closes his eyes, he can still feel her fingers against his scalp.

---

JO. JO. I DON'T HAVE THE ORIGINAL POST FOR THIS. I DON'T KNOW WHAT PARAGRAPH IS ANSWERING WHAT PROMPTS. but honestly, even now that i'm free of the siren, i wanna post this. i love prattling on about our little grumpy barista. i luv him.

[redlollygag]

so im gonna be autistic in your inbox 😁😁😁 < face of someone mentally unwell

SO the biggest appeal of dabihawks is ofc the enemies to lovers trope, first lets look at canon:

theyre enemies plain and simple, they hate each other, its a beautiful show to watch of them absolutely disgusted by the other but forced to interact [ IF ONLY THEY GOT MORE FUCKING SCREENTIME TOGETHER JESUS CHRIST ] anyways its the angst potential, hawks dirtying his hands just to get into the league only to then betray the entire league </3 hawks dirtying his hands just for the sake of the mission for the sake of dabi letting him in because that WAS his only contact so hes the one hes "closest too" dabi the evil motherfuck toying with hawks, making him do all the things he hates and knowing what hawks is truely doing. they hate each other in canon plain and simple they dont care if neither one dies or not. hawks even STILL views endeavor as an equal even after all hes done (whether or not you think its valid is up to you i think that hawks needs a LITTLE MORE TIME AND SPACE to rethink the whole "yeah no enjis cool now hes alright :D" shtick.... personally i hate it i just want him to be a little more..... EYES OPEN to how fucked up endeavor did things even if hes trying to do better now like ?????) canon tropes that could fit are like their divorce, unhealthy co dependency, there was only one bed, acciental first kiss, drunk sex, fuck buddies, rarepair, the whole hero vs villain thing, height difference, flirty and the flustered, oh fuck theyre BOTH messed up, loud and quiet ETC ETC

now heres where the dots connect though through fandom genius. now when dabis first introduced hes blue and emo and firey and dramatic (theatre kid) mentally unwell, tired yet manic, daddy issues supreme, body horror circus party, the whole palooza. we ALL been known, his daddys a top hero who made him a top villain. and now hawks, who was an enigma at first, man too fast for his own good, red, arrogant, laidback, yet serious and calculating, heart of gold underneath all of that dirty work with a like for trashy preppy outfits. at first it was just the enemies to lovers, dabi hates endeavor and heroes, hawks admires him to the sun and is one of the best heros... AND THEN WE GET HAWKS BACK STORY. hawks. hero. raised by a villain. if the red and blue, sun and moon, emo/goth and jock, FLAME AND FEATHERS, if those parallels werent enough the father issues sure will! dabi, hero father made him a villain, hawks, villain father made him a hero. the amount of parallels these two have was fuel for the growing fire.

FIRE IN WHICH IT WAS FANON. fanon dabihawks is BEAUTIFUL. the best and probably only light dabihawks will ever shine in 😀😀😀 < gripping horikoshis neck even thought nothing will happen but angst for these two. slightly shifted canon compliant with some queer writing and spicing up the characters a SMIDGE, making them more fit to how they ACTAULLY ARE (in my very (not) humble opinion horikoshi you dont know your own characters like we do) all of that is the mountain of fanfic tropes. we already have enemies to lovers but add a little bit of that battle for dominance play and sexual tension, heavy flirting and fuck buddies OOO BOY. they play and they bite and hawks is number one pretty boy and charms his way past dabi "probably hasnt been flirted with in his life," OR dabi being the brat and attention seeker he is and pushing hawks buttons before dabi gets put in his place. hawks turned genuine lov member because then thats where he sees the TRUTH. or hawks still killing jin but REGRETS IT TO THE MAX and dabi finds him a little after and hawks begging for forgiveness. the league was his only true family but hes been a hero under the commission for so long that killing him was second nature until he realizes. rehabilitation after the war and dabi being captured and hawks still visiting him wherever dabis being held. if you make them even a LITTLE BIT GAY it literally makes things more tragic than just "lets hate each other even though we're walking parallels"

one very popular and loved aspect is red tailed hawks avian hawks and not just his fierce wings. THIS ADDS TO THE MOUNTAIN. youve got a multitude of bird facts like torpor, nesting, cloacas if youre into that, preening, MATING HABITS. hawks being a spy to the league only to see how open they are to their members quirks. spinner and his lizardness needing warmth and insects and shedding and togas fascination and need for blood ( not quirk reasons shes mentally ill but there are healthy ways to get blood so) hawks seeing the league being accepting open AND welcoming to when we dont see ANY OF THAT in his hero work??? especially with dabis inside knowledge of how shit the hero system is with quirk discrimination??? youve got so much to work with here JUST from the aspect of making hawks a hawk mutant. he likes how shiny dabi is with his staples and piercings, he loves the natural warmth coming from him (even if dabis skin is cold), hawks lowkey loving the smell of blood from dabis scars (bird of prey) dabi helping hawks be open to the more avian side of him, he imprints on him and dabi becomes mate in hawks mind, IN TURN hawks showing dabi that even the most shittiest of origins, you can still do good, hawks knowing full well that quirks sucks (molting season, talon clipping, wing care, the overstimulation of senses like sounds hawks has become numb to) and he coaxs that little burning fire thats still in dabi, that he can still do good (dabi said that killing innocent people drove him mad in a negative way so he doesnt enjoy it) two broken souls from quirk discrimination finding solace even with all the shit hero AND villain society treat them. this leads to, along with those above, hurt comfort, slow burn, mutual healing, mutual pining, sunshine x grump, girlboss and malewife, overly affectionate x touch adverse, old married couple, sacrifices too much x sacrifices too little, romantic virgin x romantic confident, annoyed x annoying, gets into fights x patches them up, OBLIVIOUSNESS TO THE MAX, idiots in love, domestic husbands ETC ETC (and the more kinky spicy aspects when it comes to bird genes and a fire quirk)

what makes them even JUCIER is if you make the commission EVIL. EXACTLY WHAT DABI HATES AND DESPISES. another common trope is to make hawks be lowkey abused by the commission hence the whole child soldier thing but hawks has been living with then his whole life so its like, fine for him. dabi being his savior, dabi showing him the league can be his true family, dabi, a villain, being hawkss hero. hawks, who would get his hands dirty just for the sake of justice, shows dabi true heroes are still alive. hawks being an avian mutant adds to the juice because if it was just hawks with fierce wings well you could paint it as just the child soldier BUT WITH THE HETEROMORPH youve got commission being absolute JERKS and forcing hawks to mask his avian-ness, forced to endure people touching his wings left and right, forced to not perch, forced to have them preen his feathers in the way that society views as "perfect," clipping his talons, making him live in a boring ass apartment because "hawks heroes dont care about sentiments, you have to be presentable and collecting 'shiny things' isnt herolike," the league being the EPITOME of quirk freedom, hawks finding solace in the league because hes actually able to be himself and being a heteromorph isnt SHOULDNT be bad, dabi being able to polish his old big brother instincts and take care of hawks nurse him back to help and free him from his bird cage.

SPEAKING OF BIRD CAGES, another beautiful fanon interpretation is DABI HIMSELF BEING A PART OF THE LEAGUE BEFORE HIS REBIRTH. OW. youve got friends to lovers and all the fluff that comes with it (as much as it is being in the commission) dabi and hawks growing up together in the commission only for endeavor to pull dabi out and hawks loses his one true best friend :[ dabi and hawks not knowing how to socialize with other kids but between dabis temper yet caringness and hawks being shy yet a determined bastard, they click LOVINGLY. they bond over shitty fathers (hawks not knowing the extent to his idol OR you can change it up and have hawks despise endeavor secretly but the commission knows hes adored endeavor so he has to suck up the urge to MAIM and KILL the flaming bag of shit because at the time endeavor aint "changing" and he acts EXACTLY like hawkss birth father.) hawks imprinting on dabi his first real friend, taking care of each other through the commissions pains and abuse, sacrificing themselves in order for the other to not be punished. MAJOR ANGST WHEN IT COMES TO DABIS DEATH and hawks loses his spark and throws himself into training to distract the howling pain of his bird side and instincts as he lost a flock member (and potential mate), ONLY TO FIND DABI ALIVE YEARS LATER. the angst of reconciliation to see your love turn yo the darkest sides (dabi being a villain and hawks being a hero both of who they respectively hate) the angst of dabi knowing that without him the commission successfully brainwashed hawks to the point of betrayal on their side and hawks knowing his old beloved is now on the side in which he has to take down and kill (his old beloved truely did die if this is the path dabi went to) THE FRIENDS TO LOVERS TO STRANGERS TO ENEMIES AND BACK TO LOVERS. IM GONE O-(-( ORZ. youve successfully wounded me.

the amount of aus/canon divergent situations you can put these two from those three things TOGETHER or SEPARATE/SOLO, soulmates, quirk accident, princess carry, found family, exes to lovers, role reversal, fantasy au, royal au, cyberpunk au, dystopian, apocalypse, sickfic, honeypot turned non sexual intimacy, highschool au, civilians au, quirk swap, body swap, arranged marriage, actual genuine married couple, kindergarten au, amnesia fics, time travel, time travel fix it fics, space au, star wars au, pirates and mermaids, and the wonderful beautiful amount of crack/crack treated seriously is UDGODLY. hawks pranking endeavor, the lov and hawks playing video games, trophy wife dabi, watching disney movies, coming out at the worse times, "HAWKS/DABI WDYM YOUR FUCKING A VILLAIN/HERO," one or more of the todorokis (minus endeavor) being in the league and dabi hating it but hawks loves it (adores shouto, loves and is terrified of fuyumi, gets along w natsuo, DABI YOUR MOM IS A FALLEN ANGEL), dabis mom being in the league and is a better mom in canon and dabis like what the shit or this is my mom fuckers touch her and your burnt and hawks is like but what about affectionate touching (hugs, headbumps etc), hawks learning to build a pillow fort and experience actual good childhoos activities, dabi walking in on hawks (and maybe spinner and toga) indulging in his avian-ness for the first time, dabi cooking for hawks, hawkss nesting habits, gift giving

am i autistic about dabihawks or am i AUTISTIC about DABIHAWKS

if you read this hold this (jesus /AFFECTIONATE I WROTE A LOT.) thank you and hoping to convert you :D

ANON you fucking FEASTED WITH THIS ONE OH MY GOD!!!! You delivered on your promise and brought over the whole damn MEAL!!

(I love the essay thank you so so much for taking time to pour out your thoughts on this ship!!! Ngl I don’t give Dabi enough credit as a character and maybe this ship is one way to kinda explore that and dammit if I am not more intrigued by them than anything else)

[alexanders-pokemon-adventure]

A little rain in every life must fall

Trigger warning themes of depression and themes suicidal

Derek Dagda

In the hospital Alexander was being cared for at Derek sat in a Secluded hallway and thought. Sera tarot reading had no been a clear and undeniable sign that they would succeed he wonted and alexander continuing to worse state was … deeply apparent to derek. Alex is wasting, derek could feel it . Sense a steady waning in for lack of any other Terminologies Alexander’s life force , knew sera and the professor could feel it to in their own strange way as Well. Derek Understood undeniably that the situation was bad but A selfish and unreasonable part of himself felt resentful of Alexander’s family for coming. Their large family have been coming in shifts for the last week. Derek felt it was like they were saying goodbye like they were saying it was already over. it made some Incoherent raging part him want to scream “ ALEX IS NOT DEAD WHY ARE YOU CRYING LIKE ITS OVER , WHY ARE YOU CROUNDING THEM , ALEX DOSENT LIKE BEEING CROWDED”

But…he wouldn’t .Maybe 19 year old Derek Fresh out Of their apprenticeship and angry would have but 28 year old Derek would not. It was the truth that alexander may die soon and their family has the right to be here .

“Needed some space ?” Sera ask as she leaned against next to him

Derek side and nodded”yes , I wanted to think”

“ anything specific” she prodded

“ I don’t know” and A soft sigh was all Derek could muster , there was so much to think about. Their plan to help Alex was still painfully theoretical, Victoria, we’re still out there doing gods know what, alexander’s family had questions that none of them seem to be able to answer satisfactory and then their was Nimbus alexander’s Castform that while they had not been rendered comatose in the greenhouse incident had clearly suffered some kind of damage to their cohesive energy matrix that remained abnormal even weeks after the fact . And then there was. Sara didn’t allow him to finish the thought

“ thinking about the card, Derek ?” Sera asked handing him the The seven of cups

her uncanny ability to hit the nail directly on the head was some thing that used to shock Derek. But after a few years of being friends, with a psychic, the novelty of such things, begins to wear off.

“ it didn’t go unnoticed by me that your face Took the place of the oracle or the lover “ she said “ so i know you two have been a thing for a while bbuuuut I’ve noticed you two have never made it official ?” She said more as a question. Than a statement

“Hmm have you now , didn’t you also say that the images might not be literal , that they may just represent alex imagining the future, not the actual future” derek was deflecting . And he knew it .

“ your going to make me ask, aren’t you” sera said as a statement

“ Someone less nosy wouldn’t ask at all” Derek responded also as a statement

“ Well, Alex and I are best friends and you and I have been friends for the better part of a decade. Also, I’m psychic nosiness comes Prepackaged with all my relationships, unfortunately . So im asking why Aren’t you and alex together ?”sera said

Derek knew the answer “ because alexander doesn’t want to, I’ve asked they said no “ . Sera seam Genuinely shocked by that answer “ they said no ?”

“Not in so many words but it wasn’t yes , Sera “ derek answered “ i dont think alex want that kind of “ he paused Searching for the right words “ i dont think Alexander want a serious romantic relationships anymore ,not after Antonio”

Sera was Silent for a long moment after that and derek wondered if she too remembered the day the Titan slayer killed alexander Five closest friends, and lover , Remember, the weeks that followed when she literally found Alex on the ledge of the starlight tower ready to jump. How when we and their family got them to the Mental health facility ,alex looked so hallow ,so lifeless. Derek knew alexander treatment at that Facility had help them grieve and work through the pain and trauma. help them decide they no longer needed and it was no longer healthy for them to be a Ranger. That it help Bring them to a place where they can feel joy again…but

“ i dont think after Antonio died and Alex stated getting better that they want that kind of relationship again”

“Hmm i had hoped that after four years , that after all this time … that maybe you two would be able to make it work “ sera said

Derek knew because it was sera that her comment was not meant to hurt him or question his Resolve but an actual hope for his and Alex’s happiness. After all, she was one of the few who knew that before there was an Alexander and Antonio, there had almost been a Derek and Alex. But that was along time ago What they had been then in their ranger Apprenticeship days was in the past No matter how much Derek wished it could be his and Alex’s future. Alex would have to want it to and he did not believe Alex Did.

“ you don’t think Alex doesn’t want to because of Antonio do you? . Alex has know that Antonio would’ve wanted them to be happy and to find someone else?” Sera ask

“ I dont know Sera, i think they know logically that Antonio only ever wanted them to be happy . But knowing in your mind and knowing in your heart are not the same thing . Besides alex may just not want or Prioritize that aspect of their life anymore poeple change “ derek said

Sera and Derek stayed silent for long moments in that quit hallway

“Derek i don’t think your face being on the Seven of cups was a coincidence , just like I’m certain our presence on the five of wands wasn’t one . I think your presence in alexander life acts as a nexus of possibilities just like all the other symbols on that card you draw them towards different paths. I think you should tell them when they wake how you feel and what you want and even if alex says no at lest you both will have your Answers and will be able to make choices from there.”

“ but what if they say no?” Derek ask a hint of desperation in his voice

“ then you’ll know alex cant give you what you want and if they cant , you deserve more than an Unfulfilling Situationship with your best friend of over a decade Derek. It’ll suck for a while but it will pass and you both will be better for it.

Derek thought it was terrible to hear unasked for advice that was completely correct , but what did he expect being friends with a Nosy psychic.

[mediumsizedapplecore]

so sorry to be evil for a bit normal landoscar fans please ignore this but im hoping if i write it down it'll begin to stop pissing me off as much bc its been getting on my nerves for a while and i hate it

its so fuckign annoyign i cant stand itttt i tried to like it and even be neutral which i typically am most of the time bc lando on his own can be a little annoying but mainly its his solo fans yeah whatever he's and his fans are not active ppl in my lives nor does they bring joy to me. i don't really give gafs about him/them so i don't like wasting energy about it on *myyy* blog but im writing this bc it involves oscar who i do like okay okayyy

but im so sorry im bringing it up bc i see it happening everywherreeee its literally inescapable. i don't care much about lando so im never deliberately going into lando spaces. and if lando is actually *relevant* to the topic at hand, i don't mind seeing him bc. he's relevant. it actually makes sense.

yet time and time again, i see people posting solo lando content in oscar's main tag, going into solo oscar content (video, post, meme, etc) to only focus on lando. oscar will win a race and the first thing ppl will talk about is how lando must feel sooooooo sad :((( and oscar has to go comfort him bc #landoscar. oscar loses out to lando and the first thing ppl will talk about is how happy lando is and that oscar should go celebrate him bc #landoscar (but isn't allow to be sad/mad himself the way they let lando mope about). people claim that they are oscar fans but want lando to win the championship instead bc lando wouldn't handle being sad (what?????* yet they expect oscar to be happy with that??? its a world championship; everyone would be gutted to lose that shit?? and it doesn't help that lando himself is apparently saying that oscar looks happier with a p6 than a p1 as if he's trying to push this idea as well haha).

*also sorry sorryyy to get into this bc i also find the mentality talk so annoying as fuck to listen to but its crazy that lando fans will complain about how lando's emotions are viewed in the media and yet will turn around and unironically say stuff like "he derseves to win or else he'll be so sadddd :(((" and that one post about him being maternal or whatever the fuck that was lmaooo. like.. you don't want him to win bc you think he's a *good racer?* why do yall set him up so bad??

ppl will be so quick to say that lando shouldn't be judged for something over and over and over when anti-lando's rant and that it negativly impacts his mental health (which isn't inherently a problem- i just find it a little funny how often they need to defend him on here as if lando has an active tumblr. like defend him on twitter or insta threads or smh idk.) but oscar will do something similar and the same ppl wont feel the need to write any defense for him. why does mental health only matter when it comes to lando?*

*but even if you focus on having enjoyment/mental health of the lando fans on here, if i see ppl being often anti-oscar i block them so i don't have to see that shit bc i don't like it and im on tumblr for fun lmao. so why can't yall block anti-lando stuff? and if the hate is only a sly comment or two (bc i also see that about oscar), why can't you just ignore it? an occasional negative comment about some guy you don't know shouldn't be that upsetting?? thats a gen question not throwing shade or anything)

they'll be the first people complaining about how everyone views lando as "too emotional" bc that ignores his human nuances (which i'll agree with- its not that simple!) but they'll also be the first to turn the other way or even agree with it themselves when people say that oscar's "emotionless", even though both drivers have explictely stated that it's not true and that they dislike the comparisons. (and like already stated, lando even has played into the whole oscar iceman thing to interviewers multiple times which is ??? bc if oscar even dared to hint that he thought lando was too emotional for the press to gobble up, all hell would break loose from the same fans who see what lando's doing now and go "tee-hee this is so #landoscar!" without even raising an eyebrow)

going off the top of my head, it feels like one of the only f1 pairings where the vast majority of shippers act like one person *solely* exists for the other (i feel like lestappen is the other big ship where this happens but when that behavior is coming from both sides, it balances out and is therefore less annoying, whereas landoscar is typically only lando-focused. i truly dont know if any landoscar accounts that focus more on oscar exist. (oscar blogs that talk about landoscar are different, just to be clear. im talking about blogs that claim to be a neutral landoscar space but really arent when you look deeper. and i try to avoid going to twitter at all costs bc of how toxic fanbases are on that site so i bet its worse over there)

what i will say is that i do appreciate landoscar fans that are able to actually truly support both of them as drivers/people through their highs and lows. and also im deffo not saying that its bad to be a landoscar fan with a preference for lando! having a fav driver in a pairing is very very normal. i honestly don't even mind if you don't give gafs about oscar outside of the ship!! i feel like that's pretty common in a lot of pairings. the only thing i care about is that you're able to acknowledge that about yourself! its only annoying when you're in oscar fan spaces bc you claim to like both equally but then every action you do shows that you don't give a single fuck about oscar as an actual person/driver and you just view him as landos labubu fuckdoll lmao. (and this is a general you- no ones very called out so please don't even start)

and i think thats everything? my brain feels very relieved that i was finally able to write everything down yknow how long I've been keeping this thought in my head??

[sensitivesav]

more often than not, it’s the same feeling. but lately, it’s not going away. maybe i’m just overwhelmed again and haven’t recharged as often as i know my mental health needs.

this gravitation toward chaos for the sake of solving it though. this inner confidence that i make connections they can’t, that i can solve it better, to take charge and take off the burden, to provide the type of comfort they didn’t even know to ask for. but i know where people lack. and i know what they prefer. i don’t know anyone else who can create a genuinely safe space like i can, who can show someone what it is to finally feel supported. i want those around me to thrive. and me - i never expect it in return. as i said, i know i can handle it better. i know they cannot. how could they provide me something i already have an abundance of, naturally. but why is this a thing? and in the same breath that i don’t expect it, why do i feel like there’s always a point where it gets taken advantage of?

maybe it’s me. this self-inflicted burden of needing to mend any given conflict. but why? do i take advantage of my own capacity? thinking its a renewable source?

do i feel proud that i’m considered a fixer? when what i am fixing is merely another check mark off my list of things to do? i don’t feel proud. accomplished - yeah. but not because i’m affected by the outcome. do i think im making the world a better place? that’s a pretty crazy notion. but i guess on some level - yeah. recognizing the lack of genuinity and consideration in people urges me to keep being nothing like them. to do my part.

i don’t know what it is.

i truly don’t give a fuck if you even acknowledge it. i’d rather it goes unnoticed so i’m not linked to this piece of my personality. i don’t want to b constantly depended on. i don’t want to feel the need to burn out these fires that have nothing to do with me or my well being. i don’t want to be the fixer. i wanna just be.

i wish i could rid myself of the burden of connecting every piece of information i have. this mental log of everyone’s personal crisis - the why, the how, the aftermath. and what they need to make their life feel better. my ever growing debate w the devil’s advocate, constantly making further connections i never knew would end up feeling detrimentally overwhelming.

who the fuck does any of this for me? why would they? i would never wish this level of empathy on anyone. the need to develop peace in people’s minds and hearts. literally why do i have the overconfidence that i carry this capability?

who would put their sanity and own fires aside to burn out any of mine?

the short answer is no one.

the long answer is how can they, when they don’t even know what they are - they wouldn’t know where to begin.

and who’s fault is that but my own.

[hitlerina5150]

Do you not wish for a world where women don't have to fear, I suppose we'll say "males", in the same locker room? Do you not believe feminism can create that world? And if you do, but believe trans women are still too tainted by male socialization growing up, how should it begin?

I do support certain spaces being segregated by birth sex. AFAB people of all genders deserve a safe penis-free space when it comes to things like bathrooms and prisons and hospitals and contact sports and women's shelters. I believe that feminism is our best chance for pushing back against a world without sex-based protections. I also believe Afab people should be made a protected group under hate crime laws and that femicide, rape, domestic battery, etc should be recognized as the hate crimes that they are.

I don't think trans women are "tainted" by male socialization, or that they experience gendered socialization like somebody without dysphoria would, especially if they transition young or have childhood dysphoria and live their lives with the world feeling like an ill-fitting suit. I think that is a unique experience from how cis men are socialized and internalize that socialization. My trans women friends are completely different from my cis male friends and the ones I know are some of the most harmless people I ever met who just decided they were sick of the machismo bullshit and wanted to be soft and enjoy cute things and find make up and fashion fun and just feel more confident in their skin with a skirt and lipstick and god bless them, its no skin off my ass and it makes the mortifying ordeal of being perceived a little softer Im not going to begrudge them that.

I also knew all my MtF friends back before they transitioned and even as males they were trusted. My closest MtF friend who is going to be a bridesmaid at my wedding literally kicked down a door and saved me mid-rape from a neighborhood boy who was taking liberties with my passed-out body. She's also schizoaffective and has gone through periods of believing she was a prophet before when we were teens, so "refer to me as a woman" feels downright reasonable next to past requests like "refer to me as god/the voice of god". I also have plenty of FtM friends, Im going to have at least one "bridesman" at my wedding.

I love trans people, I love gender non conformity, I want trans people to live their lives with safety and dignity and for them to be accommodated with spaces tailored to their needs. I think the best solution is to separate spaces by birth sex instead of gender (two beige bathrooms, one says "urinals" and one says "Sanitary Product Disposal") and by creating restrooms/locker rooms/sports leagues specifically to accommodate trans people FOR EVERYBODY'S SAFETY (it is not fair or safe to expect people on HRT especially trans women with bone density loss from artificial estrogen to participate in contact sports with people who have cis bodies, nor is it fair to have trans men on T competing against cis women when T is considered a performance enhancing supplement).

I believe that through comradery, empathy, and mutual understanding we can find that there is more than enough room in the world for all kinds, we just need to be respectful of each other. As for how it should begin, it has already begun, but I think a big step that needs to be taken is recognizing gender dysphoria as a mental illness and researching treatment options other than cosmetic transition, and making more spaces with trans inclusion in mind. But im much more worried for the trans man who has to change his tampon in the dangerous men's room than I am about the trans woman who needs to take a piss in the stall next to me and minds her own business and washes her hands when she is finished.

[fortheloveofwonderland]

hi! what about

💦+😬+🛏

im not mentally prepared for angst so here you go! spence/fem!reader

Thank you my love! This tapers off a little at the end as I was concerned it was getting too long again.

Send me emojis and I’ll build you a blurb.

💦 sleeping together for the first time

😬 confessing feelings

🛏 only one bed

A/N- I picture baby Spencer (s3/4) but that’s just me.

CW - swearing, mild dirty talk, oral (m receiving) and allusions to sex but no detail because it was too long already. minors DNI

WC - 1.8k

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Let Me Be Your Fantasy

Spencer Reid was not your first choice of a roommate.

He was far too chatty sometimes for your liking, especially late at night when he’d had too much coffee. He made small talk for the sake of making small talk because he clearly didn’t like silence.

You enjoyed silence. You didn’t feel the need to fill every void with pointless chatter.

He was practically nocturnal by his own admission. The substantial amount of caffeine he consumed meant he rarely fell asleep until the early hours of the morning.

You loved to sleep. If you didn’t get in your eight hours you were groggy to say the least.

At least when you roomed with Morgan or Emily or JJ, you just slept. Sometimes with the girls you might watch a movie if it was early enough but it was easy, it was chilled.

Chill was not a word that had ever been used to describe Spencer Reid.

But probably the main reason you would have roomed with literally anyone else on the team (aside from Rossi and his snoring) was because of how ridiculously attracted to him you were.

Spencer was categorically not your type. And it wasn’t as though you’d been instantly attracted to him when you met because you hadn’t. But somewhere over the course of the years you’d worked together, you’d started seeing him in a different light.

It had happened so gradually you’d barely noticed it happening. One day you’d thought he looked kind of cute but you’d thought the light had just been hitting him the right way.

A few months later you had an out of control crush and on more than one occasion had imagined him bending you over the nearest piece of furniture and fucking you dumb.

It had been your own fault you’d ended up in this situation. You’d been in the bathroom when Hotch had been allocating room partners and you’d been stuck with Spencer.

And to make matters worse, you’d arrived in the motel room to find there was only one freaking bed.

“It’s a big bed and it’s only one night.” Spencer had shrugged, not seeing the big deal.

“I like my own space.” You grumbled, tossing your go bag in an armchair.

“Well, I’m certainly not sleeping on the floor.” Spencer huffed a little.

“Neither am I.”

“I guess we’re at a stalemate then.” He smirked at you. “It’s one night.”

“Whatever.” You rolled your eyes trying to ignore how delicious he looked at that moment in time.

His hair was incredibly messy and you could almost imagine it would look that way right after sex. His eyes were heavy with what was probably sleep but you couldn’t help pretend it was lust.

The top three buttons on his shirt were undone and his tie hung loosely under his neck. He had his shirt sleeves pushed up to his elbows and for some reason his forearms were particularly inviting.

You imagined them either side of your head, holding himself up as he fucked you.

You hadn’t had sex in a long time, that’s all it was. You were abundantly horny and Spencer was just an attractive male in close proximity.

That was all it was.

You both used the bathroom and changed into sleep attire, Spencer a pair of flannel pajama bottoms and t-shirt, you in a pair of shorts and tank top.

You forced yourself to opposite ends of the bed, leaving as much space between you as physically possible.

You shared barely more than a handful of words with each other. Perhaps Spencer sensed your reluctance to talk for once and he left you be.

Spencer read for a while and you scrolled on your phone on various social media sites until you fell asleep.

***

When you awoke it was still dark and you blinked your bleary eyes a few times before rolling over.

You forgot where you were for a moment, it happened a lot when you were away as much as you were.

It was dark and so you didn’t realise you weren’t in your own bed, alone, until you started spreading your limbs out on the mattress only to come into contact with something.

“Ow.” Spencer whined as you kicked him.

But you barely heard him over the sound of your heart beating in your ears.

You might have kicked him with your foot, but it was where your hand had ended up that threw you through a loop entirely.

You’d yet to bring yourself to move your hand away, completely tensed up, so Spencer knew exactly what was going through your head.

“Is there any chance you’ll just roll over, go back to sleep and pretend you didn’t notice?” He croaked, laying perfectly still.

Your wandering hand had somehow found his crotch and his very hard cock.

“I…uh…sure.” You finally withdrew your hand and rolled onto your back.

The two of you laid side by side staring at the strip of light on the ceiling coming from the moonlight seeping in through the crack in the curtains.

You were both silent for a very long time but you both knew the other wasn’t asleep.

Eventually Spencer sighed.

“It’s perfectly normal.” He said and you weren’t sure if he was telling you or himself.

“Uh huh.” You croaked, still reeling a little.

“It happens to all men. I don’t have much control over it.”

You could hear the embarrassment in his voice.

“Let’s just forget about it, like you said.” But really, the last thing you wanted to do was forget about it.

“I wish it were that easy.” He mumbled but you heard it.

You rolled your head to the side on the pillow so you could look at him. The moonlight illuminated his hazel eyes in the most stunning way it tugged on your heart strings.

“What do you mean?” You whispered.

He turned to look at you too and there was something unreadable about his expression.

“It’s not exactly…going away.” He swallowed and sank his teeth into his bottom lip.

“Oh.” You squeaked, feeling a heat spread between your legs. “Can I do anything to help?”

His eyes widened at your words and you instantly blushed.

“No, not like that! I just mean…I don’t know what I meant.”

He sighed again, rubbing his eyes with his palms.

“As long as I’m sharing a bed with you Y/N, it’s not going to go away any time soon.”

“Huh?” You frowned at him, head spinning with confusion and sexual frustration.

“Don’t play dumb.” He rolled his eyes. “You know I have a crush on you. And this close proximity to you is…it’s…I’m just a man with urges ok? Just because people don’t see me that way doesn’t mean I’m not just like every other guy ok? And being in bed with a woman that looks like you while you’re wearing next to nothing…it does things to me. I hoped you wouldn’t notice because I don’t want to make things awkward but…fuck!”

Somewhere during his rant you’d made a decision. And that decision was that Spencer Reid was going to fuck you tonight.

So you’d rolled onto your side again and palmed him through his pajama bottoms causing him to trail off his ramblings.

“W-what are you doing?”

“I told you, I can help.” Your eyes were dark as you looked at him and Spencer was at a complete loss for words.

You manoeuvred yourself in the bed, pushing his legs apart and kneeling between them, keeping the duvet around your shoulders.

His breath hitched as you toyed with the waistband of his pants.

When you simultaneously pulled the waistband down and disappeared under the sheets, he audibly gasped. But that was nothing compared to the feral moan that left his lips when you took his cock in your mouth.

You didn’t waste any time in taking him to the back of your throat, gagging slightly due to his size. Spencer rocked his hips lightly into your mouth, mumbling and moaning incoherently.

You ran your tongue up his vein and swirled it over the head of his cock, causing his hips to buck a little more violently.

“Jesus Christ, Y/N.” He panted, shaking hands finding your hair and instantly getting lost in your tresses.

You smiled around him as you took him all in your mouth again, burying your nose in his pubic hair.

You were wet and seeping onto your shorts, desperate to be touched by him, to be fucked by him.

You squeezed your thighs together as you took his balls in your hand and started playing with them, quickening your pace on his cock.

Spencer was wriggling beneath you, panting loudly and pulling a little on your hair.

“You gotta stop…” he breathed, tugging your hair more firmly.

You brought your lips to his head and swiped your tongue over it once more before coming off him entirely.

“You weren’t enjoying it?” You asked, wiping the back of your hand over your mouth.

“I was enjoying it too much. I was gonna come.” His chest heaved up and down with his deep breaths.

“I thought that was the point of what I was doing?” You raised an eyebrow at him.

Spencer smirked at you and it was dizzying.

And then shy, awkward Spencer Reid surprised you by grabbing you by your neck and pulling you down to him so he could crush your lips together.

He kissed you passionately, rolling his hips against yours whilst holding you a little roughly by the neck.

“Y/N,” he spoke into your lips. “Your mouth isn’t the hole I want to come in.”

You moaned viscerally, grinding against him. You were so hazy you barely registered that he flipped you over so you were beneath him and those damn forearms rested against your head like you’d imagined so many times.

He got rid of his pajama pants and his fingers edged up your thigh and up the leg of your shorts.

You were soaking wet and Spencer hissed as he ran his fingers through your folds.

“Jesus fucking Christ.” He gasped a little.

“You’re not the only one with a crush, Reid.” You wiggled your shorts over your hips. “I need you, Reid. I need you to fuck me like, yesterday.”

“Fuck,” he moaned, kissing you again while you wrapped you legs around his waist, pulling him closer.

Sex with Spencer was not a disappointment. You worried you’d built it up in your head too much over the years, maybe the reality wouldn’t live up to the fantasy.

It more than lived up to the fantasy.

Sex with Spencer was like an out of body experience. You’d never felt pleasure like it and you knew for certain that it would never be able to be a one time thing.

Now you’d had him once, there was no going back.

That was only solidified after when he pulled you into his arms and still panting, whispered into your hair, “I don’t have a crush on you, Y/N. I’m in love with you.”

[neurotheascars]

I know people have basically explained this to you in some capacity already but Im going to be a little more polite and go a bit more in depth about it. My IRL partner and I read and look at lobotomized jimmy content and we both have various disabilities and mental illnesses.

I am literally of the demographic that would have been lobotomized in the 50s(or whatever) because I receive a level of government assistance that basically means if I didn't have in home care, I'd be institutionalized. Just to give some background on why I think my opinion matters here.

You are not understanding the intent of this content. It's a kink thing, a fantasy thing. That's why people write whump and disturbing content. the whole point is that its morally wrong. The point is that it's not a good ending. The dehumanizing aspect of it is hot/interesting to some people. That's what "they just wanna hurt their blorbo" means. You aren't telling these people what they don't already know because the disturbing nature of the content is why it exists in the first place.

You are basically doing the internet fandom equivalent of barging into a BDSM space and calling the guy whipping his girlfriend a misogynist, completely ignoring that they are both in a space where they both wanted the action, both consented to it and they are doing this because the misogyny -in this controlled environment- is hot, is desired. It's not like they don't know a guy beating his girlfriend is a misogynist action. They know, because that's why they are doing it in this safe and controlled way.

The context is everything.

Jimmy isn't real, he's not a real person. This is all fantasy, and that's what makes it safe. This is all fictional. Nobody is getting hurt or dehumanized in real life. Thats why people are treating it like a game.

Not to mention people who participate in violent kinks and fic writing have often suffered that violence in their lives or some personal equivalent, and the kink/whump is a form of mental play, where they are in control of the situation because it's not real and they have power in the situation that they wouldn't normally have in a traumatic context. When you are the writer, you are in control. Sometimes it feels good to see someone you hate in a story get a fate people have threatened you with.

I've had my identity ripped from me, I've been locked in closets and told I'm not allowed to speak. I have been dehumanized in so many settings and my mother has actually threatened me with a lobotomy, even though they are illegal and not even a thing she could have done to me.

Pretty sure all that trauma has something to do with why I find dehumanization of FICTIONAL CHARACTERS hot.

Sometimes people deal with their trauma by distancing themselves from the actions that hurt them and sometimes they get a kink about it, sometimes they write about something worse happening to a character they hate. This is all normal shit human beings do. The irony of a lobotomy "fixing" jimmy when it didn't fix anything just like Jimmy not fixing anything is not lost on me, it's tasty irony, it's the whole point.

My agency as a human means that I'm allowed to fucking have a kink about violence I've been threatened with. If you're really committed to being critical of this content then what you wanna be saying is probably that you don't like ablism being fetishized, and I mean you probably don't like most kinks and whump if that's the case and that's totally ok, just tag filter so we can all do our own thing.

I genuinely don't think anyone making and consuming this content thinks lobotomies are totally great IRL.

Also just an apology if I come off rude or anything, I am not the best at expressing myself but I try as hard as I can! No ill will twords you, I just don't think you understand what you're seeing with this content.

I'm not usually a person who can feel distressed by any form of art, but all lobotomized Jimmy content is so disturbing in its nature I just can't stay silent. If you think that THIS is your perfect "good ending" for Mouthwashing, you're a hypocrite. Cause, hey. You "fixed him". He's peaceful now. Everyone's happy. The problem's gone. Congrats! Your problem solving skills are even WORSE than Jimmy's. Now pat yourselves on the head and make this shell of a human smile to Curly like its not the most disturbing thing you can do.

No person diserves to get ripped off the thing that makes us humans. Personality. Ability to think. Espessially no one deserves it done by a person you trust. Your friend. Your captain.

If this was an another story, I wouldn't say a thing. But it's Mouthwashing. A game which has taking responsibility as one of its themes. A game that shines with the depiction of characters' personalities. A game that makes you feel every thought of Jimmy as a central part of its experience.

And lobotomy?

Its not a "happy end". Not "fixing". Its cruelty. Not nessessary, deliberate cruelty that doesn't compare to Jimmy's impulsive cruel decisions in any way possible.

[thestarryeyedsapphic]

critiques i have of tlc ranging from very stupid nitpicking to very valid criticisms

*i tried to do them in order of when they came up but some criticisms extend to the whole series

**i am (obv) a huge fan of these books but i am also a huge critic bc let’s face it they are far from perfect

one of the most egregious problems of the books is the way they treat Asian cultures. this post and this post do a better job than i ever could of explaining how problematic it is, so i highly HIGHLY recommend reading them if you haven’t seen them already (the second post also links even more articles about it)

so i guess i can understand most people not taking precautions about letumosis bc people are stupid (and also mm didn’t take pandemic precautions into account) but why is kai’s dumbass, (affectionate) whose father literally HAS letumosis, going out to a crowded space without any protection??

why wasn’t fixing nainsi cinder’s main priority i feel like she could have finished it a lot sooner??

the outta pocket transphobic joke,,,why

ok so i get why the commonwealth is a monarchy bc fairy tale reasons but kai could easily get rid of the threat of levana trying to marry him by de-establishing the monarchy so she can’t have that power

i know cinder is immune to letumosis (at this point) but she is BALLSY when going to and from the quarantines she could have easily given it to kai when she goes to see him right after (AND KAI LITERALLY KISSES THE GLOVE THAT SHE JUST TOUCHED SICK PEOPLE WITH I KNOW IT DOESNT SURVIVE ON FABRIC BUT THERE COULD BE TRACE AMOUNTS??)

the second the earthen leaders saw the wolf army they should have immobilized. ik they were in their era of peace or whatever so they didn’t have weapons but they should have started producing artillery the moment levana threatened them (very american of me to be like ‘let’s nuke them!!’ but it would have made for a good threat since Luna lacked the resources to stand against them in an arms race)

now idk if mm didn’t do enough research or if she just made up her own things about the behavior of wolves to fit her narrative, but like the alpha-beta-omega shit is based on an inaccurate study (although you could make the argument that bc it only occurs in wolves in captivity and technically the wolf soldiers were in captivity, the concept kind of holds up?? but the info scarlet read is just wrong so like,,,and i get that it’s a sci-fi book but this wolf stuff is presented as fact and most people think it IS fact which really irks me for some reason lol)

love you scarlet but why were you so pissed at wolf he literally tried to convince you not to go to the pack base and that it would be a trap but you did anyway and now you’re mad??

i kind of talked about this in one of my recent posts but it is kinda frustrating how scarlet went from having a whole book about her to being completely gone for the entirety of the next book,,,maybe im just a scarlet and a wolflet stan but this just felt weird to me

wolf’s character from this moment on was just reduced down to being obsessed with scarlet, and as much as i love wolflet and how much he loves her, he had a lot more going for him than just scarlet and that should have been explored (also he never apologized to cinder for STRANGLING her during one of his breakdowns and i feel like an apology is in order??)

a lot of other people have talked about this but the way winter’s mental illness was handled was #not good and the fact that she gets COMPLETELY cured at the end of the book kinda takes away from the representation like obv im glad she is okay but it is kinda frustrating when she is supposed to represent people with mental illnesses bc that shit don’t just go away

also i love scarlet and winter but sometimes scarlet was kind of mean to her especially about her mental illness which doesn’t really sit well with me (i still love you scarlet tho)

it’s time to talk about cresswell,,,obv no hate to cresswell stans bc aside from the problematic age gap, their relationship was well written and i really loved it when i first read the books and it’s really frustrating that cress is so young (along with the other female characters) when she didn’t have to be. now i know people might make the argument of age of consent and how we don’t know it in this universe, but in fairest when levana first comes on to evret, he makes a point of mentioning her age and how she’s too young for him at 16. pearl’s seamstress also tells adri that pearl is too young for marriage at 17, so clearly attitudes about these ages are at least somewhat similar to how we think about them in real life. even if we take cress’ age out of the equation, she is heavily infantilized (she literally SQUEAKS??) and has spent remotely zero time out in the real world. thorne in comparison has a lot of experience, both in the real world and in relationships, so he is significantly more mature than cress. her crush on thorne is fine and dandy but him reciprocating is where the problem is at because there is a definite power imbalance. i still love thorne <3 and obv know he wouldn’t take advantage of cress, but the fact that seventh grade me read this and was obsessed with their relationship and didn’t see anything wrong with it is kinda a big issue and kinda dangerous when you think about it

i also talked about this recently but like idc if they could revive cinder from the brink of death TWICE, cure thorne’s blindness, and cure winter’s mental illness, how cAN THEY NOT REVERSE THE SURGERIES??? like honestly alpha steele had a point of being pissed in wires and nerve!! if they could do the surgeries, they could def reverse them to some extent!!! i will never not be over this hghkskxj

bruh if i were kai i would have brought a whole horde of androids to put a cap in levana’s ass the second he got to luna that was such a missed opportunity

i might have more of these after i get through the rest of winter, but yeah i just had to go off