#implausible physics

[tj-crochets]

Hey y'all! A word of advice about going to a new doctor (this is US-based, but I think might be applicable to more than just that): If they do not ask you for your medical history, that is not a good sign

[enchantrum]

that furry anon talking about how some people hate Halsin for furry reasons was kind of right tbh because those specific people don't "get" the furry thing and end up moralising and shaming about it. as evidenced by people's total misunderstanding of why the bear-sex scene is appealing to a subset of kinksters, and it's not because we want to fuck actual real life bears 💀

[sklerbkl]

I feel like the only person who would find the fairy more shocking

[kindlingkeen]

Re: the Jason and Damian fight scene: perhaps Damian could have a little murder, as a treat? (Or if the sword isn't sharp, could it act more like a baton?)

😂 As much as I love giving the boys little treats, Bruce is already blowing a gasket in this scene. If Dami were to actually kill a goon ... I fear the whole engine would combust, so to speak.

I think it works best with something like a baton idea, where he sort of turns the blade to use the flat of the blade to cause blunt force. Still, it's ... imperfect. Sigh. 😒

Thanks for the ask, anon! 🩵🗡️🥷 (in response to this post)

[theprettynosferatu]

Cover: @snootieenoot as Mia West

Breast Size and Cognitive Ability: A Rebuttal

Prof. Mia West

Overview and Project Objectives

This work originates from the publication of Prof. Lawson’s paper Breast Size and Cognitive Ability last month (Lawson, Breast Size and Cognitive Ability, Northwestern Journal of Science, 2025) and the ensuing discourse it has elicited both in the scientific community and society at large. Not only do we find it socially and politically harmful, but either intellectually dishonest or frankly substandard in both reasoning and the basic principles of experimental science.

Prof. Lawson posits that breast size in females is negatively correlated with academic ability and general I.Q. As this work will show, not only is Lawson’s methodology ruefully unsound, but his conclusions are so implausible one can only assume that, by his own logic, Professor Lawson must himself possess an impressive set of mammaries to believe such scholarship deserves serious consideration.

It is the objective of this paper to, entertaining such ludicrous premises, empirically disprove Prof. Lawson’s thesis on its own terms and hopefully set the matter to rest permanently.

Methodology

A research team comprised of four highly accomplished female experts (see Appendix A: Team Background and Initial Cognitive Tests), including the author, will take it upon ourselves to test Dr. Lawson’s hypothesis in a controlled, verifiable and reproducible basis. Having established a baseline for cognitive ability, we must consider the second element of Dr. Lawson’s proposed correlation; as we’re sure he’ll lament (given his manifest interests) all members of the team possess what can commonly be referred to as a modest chest size (see Fig.1: Team’s Initial Measurements).

In order to modify this factor gradually, we will be using Dr. Joanna’s Marsh experimental Focused Hormone Enhancement System, or FHES, which has shown remarkable results, even in its early stages of development (see Marsh, FHES Preliminary Observations, Oberlin, 2024).

Weekly breast measurements, as well as tests on cognitive ability, will be performed to track any changes in the research team, or most likely, lack thereof (at least in the intellectual side of Lawson’s correlation). Additionally, this author will provide any observations and comments that might be relevant to the purview of this paper. 

Observations: One Week Under the Effects of FHES

Initial results show that the effectiveness of Dr. Marsh’s compound not only meets the expectations established in her paper but, in the present use case, surpasses them (see Fig.2: Team’s Measurements, Week 1). All four team members have been forced to acquire new brassieres to work comfortably. 

A common reported side effect among the team is a degree of difficulty maintaining focus on complex tasks for even moderate periods of time- what is referred to as “brain fog” in common parlance. While not debilitating, this phenomenon has increased the difficulty inherent in writing a clear, concise overview. It does not, however, seem to be accompanied by physical exhaustion- activities which require movement have not been reported by the team as feeling more taxing.

We attribute this “brain fog” to the adaptation to the new hormonal load, and we expect it to subside soon. This also explains the slight decrease in the result of the team’s cognitive tests (see Appendix B: Cognitive Tests, Week 1).

Of additional note is that the team has experienced a slight but constant emission of clear, vaginal fluid. Testing shows it to be harmless and indeed to be the kind of fluid generated for lubrication normally during intercourse or arousal in general. We believe this to also be merely a temporary hormonal adjustment, but will keep monitoring it in the following weeks.

   Observations: Two Weeks Under the Effects of FHES

The effectiveness of FHES continues to astho asst surprise the team. Our tits breasts have expanded massively (See Fig 2: Team Measurements, Week 2), to the point that our standard lab uniforms no longer fit our curvy bodies and feel too tight and not in a cute way. To remedy this, the team was forced to go out and purchase new, more fitting and fashionable clothes (See Fig 3: Team Dressing Room Selfies). Obviously, new make-up was also necessary to match the vibe of the new fits, especially the goth-style gram garnm clothes chosen by April which just called out for some striking black eyeliner and a lighter shade of base. We collectively observed that the combination of her new clothes and make-up work really, really well on her: it’s giving bratty sub, as can be confirmed (See Fig. 4: April’s Selfies and Cute Pics Taken By Mia).

The Brain Fog is still there, probably because of the hormones and all other stuff, but the team reports it to be a pleasant sensation. While it makes writing these reports hard, it’s not really bad- more like floating in a pink, fluffy cloud. Prof. Lawson’s idea that tit size makes women dumber is still unproven, as the Pink (that’s what we have taken to calling the Brain Fog) is for sure the result of the treatment, not an effect of increased chest size. There are plenty of smart women with big boobs, after all, and I know for a fact Dr. Lawson has watched their videos on several adult sites. These women’s success in such a competitive industry is surely proof of their intelligence.

The constant most moiz wetness appears to have caused a few incidents among the team, since it now also involves an increased sensitivity and level of arousal. The distraction of feeling one’s pussy so needy all the time explains the lower test results this week (See Appendix C: Cognitive Tests, Week 2), as well as some notable events that took place this week.

It would be unprofessional to omit those events in this observation, so I’ll recount them as accurately as I possibly can. On Tuesday, before we went shopping, I walked into the Substance Storage Unit and encountered April and Sophia looking at a tablet. While I couldn’t see the screen, the video playing was at full volume, and I could make out the sound of a slut woman gurgling and choking on what, I can only assume, was a truly large cock penis. My teammates had both removed their (ugly) uniform pants, and unbuttoned their shirts (as mentioned, they had by this point become very uncomfortable, so that’s understandable). They were engaging in mutual masd mutul mmmmm fingering each other, drooling and moaning like stupid cunts in a way that showed their excitement. They shouted encouragement at the performer on the screen, which I feel demonstrates a high capacity to focus on engaging tasks; their choice of phrases (“take it deep you stupid bitch”, “fucking choke in it you dumb cow”, “use her fucking throat as a fleshlight!”) also proves their creativity. Witnessing this event produced a very strong effect on myself, but I managed to sneak into the bathroom before shoving my fingers inside my soaked pussy thus obtaining temporary relief.

Fuck. Okay, rubbing break over. Time to go back to writing.

A second incident took place on Friday. By then we had acquired new wardrobes, and the act of dancing, strutting and showing each other our new looks might have affected some team members in an unexpected manner. While we all identify as heterosexual, seeing our colleagues’ tight fucking bodies and huge, firm funbags aesthetic choices proved to be a stimulating experience. My recollection of events remains fuzzy, but I’m pretty sure I made out with April and at some point Hannah poured beer over April’s tits and I lapped it up and then sucked on her nipples while I rubbed myself silly and Sophia was filming on her phone so we both put on a show and I’m pretty sure she sent the video so someone but i don’t care encounters of an erotic nature may have taken place.

As each team member has clearly settled on a particular preference regarding their appearance, we have ordered more clothes and toys for the experiment.

We are confident that once our amazing bodies have adapted to the hormone treatment, such incidents will not reoccur. 

NOTE TO SELF: MIA, REMEMBER TO ERASE THE STRICKEN PARTS BEFORE UPLOADING UPDATE!!!

 Observations: Two Weeks Three Weeeks Under the Effects of FHES

So I have to write this to keep you updated because it’s my job and I’m a professional and stuff so ehre it goes. We had like massive tits before but now they are so huge and sensitibe and spectacular and they feel kind of like giant clits so I guess the copm compoud the thing we take to make them grow is also making them feel super good! We tried to take measurements but the tape rubbing against out funbags feels too good and we get distracted and we have to take care of that so we figured we’d just send you some nudes so you can see how much our stupid bimbo tits have expanded (see sexy pics attached) because we are not dumb and pics are better than illustrated numbers anyway. We got a bit carried away with the pics but I hope you’ll enjoy them! In like, a scientific way. Duh.

Reading back I guess I was keeping track of the Pink? I think? It’s hard to understand what I wrote before. So like, the Pink. It’s kinda hard to explain but it feels so fucking good, like we’re all so happy and floating and horny all the time and nothing feels super important anymore except doing whatever feels good at the moment, with whoever or whatever is around. We stopped storing the toys because having them all over the lab is super useful to play with one another or to just bounce on a big dildo looking at the tasty porn on the screens.

Oh shit I forgot to explain the porn thing! So like, we noticed that we can focus on porn a lot better than on boring lab stuff and we’re trying to demn demos prove big boobs don’t make sluts dumb so having porn blasting in every screen means we have something to keep us concentrated and so we’re not dumb because we can keep our attention on stuff. And we can like, really really watch porn. It’s like… we’re not just watching it with our eyes, we’re taking it in with our entire bodies and the Pink makes it so much better because it’s like the porn gets inside us and makes us better and we feel so, so good!

And another thing that proves we may be stupid cunts but we’re not dumb is that we learn really, really fast. We just left the pron running and the site kept showing us video after video after video and we all learned different things and we could put it in practice instantly! Like, April has gotten really into her new goth mommy thing and we saw a video and a girl in it was spanking another girl with a leather paddle and it was super hot but we didn’t have paddles (we ordered them, they should arrive today! Yay!) so April took a clipboard and made Sophia put her hands on the wall and April went to town on her cute bubble butt and it got so red and the rest of us watched and rubbed and drooled and Sophia came from being spanked! She’s becoming such a good slut. She really likes putting her hair in pigtails and wearing like, a sort of schoolgirl uniform with a microskirt and chewing gum and acting like a dumb whore around the lab and it kinda makes all of us want to do bad things to her. We saw a few videos where the cunt was sort of taken by force and Sophia loved them so now she keeps calling herself “good rapebait” and teasing us so we’ll be mean to her and fuck her with a toy or a strap. She cums so fast and screams what a rapedoll she is and begs to be used and abused forever! It’s super hot, so we are almost constantly shoving toys and fingers in her like, really hard.

Also, we have amazing stamina now! I can’t remember when I last slept. My desperate pussy needs me to take care of it all the time.

We’re using the computer labs to show off online, because the porn showed us that all good girls expose their slutty bodies. We’re sad that the webcams don’t look as good as the porn but we’ve ordered new cameras and like, some lights to make every inch of us look amazing. And the people we talk to on random sites are so helpful! They have ideas we never could imagine, and it’s so much easier to just do what they tell us to do and we learn so much doing it! Last night me and Emily spent like an hour just drooling and making out and rubbing each other’s tits in front of the camera because a nice Man told us to and it felt amazing to know he was jerking off his fat cock to us! We didn’t know just obeying Men made cunts feel useful but some Men told us and we did it and they were right! I think it was when April and I were going ass to ass with a double dildo because a Man told us to that I realized how amazing it is not having to choose and just drift in the Pink and be good sluts.

Sometimes they tell us to do hard things, like writing on each other’s bodies. Because our tits are so huge we have a lot of room to put tasty words in, but figuring out the spelling while we rub and lick each other is very, very hard! I can still spell kinda good, but Sophia couldn’t even spell “cumslave” right, so I had to write on Emily even though Sophia was supposed to and I got too excited and fuzzy and maybe some of the videos put thoughts in my head because I ended writing stuff like “mindless fuckdoll” and “brains are for boys” and “bitch in heat” on her instead of just “cumslave”, but the Men online liked that and told me to make myself cum as a reward and I didn’t know Men could just tell girls to cum but when they told me to cum I barely had to rub my cunt before I had like, the best orgasm. Maybe getting permission to cum always feels better? We should do a study on that after this one is done.

It’s funny how much Emily loves to have filthy words written on her body. She always was super shy and she’s so slutty now but she sstill gets all red and flustered and some men like that because it’s clear she likes to be a silly cunt but also she tries not to show it and so having someone writing on her lets her pretend she’s not thinking all those words even though like, we all totally know she’s thinking them and also when she wears a cute little mask she is shameless and so fucking desperate it’s like the mask lets her be her true self. That’s another thign we could study!

Speaking of studies, we kinda didn’t have time to take the test this week but I’m sure we would have aced it for sure. I have to send something in that section of this stupid form so I’m attaching a video of all of us training our throats with dildos, because it shows we can still do tasks so we aren’t dumb. 

Ugh, writing is so boring and I can hear Sophia being fucked behind me and I really want to make her eat me out while another girl makes her ass gape. 

We ordered more clothes and toys because Men deserve choices and we want to be able to be any kind of slut a Man could want. I guess I’ll write more next week.

   

obdertations weak for

i have to write i dont want to write this is so boring my head is to fuzzy and fuuuuck april is licking my pussy under the desk but i dont want to cum because good girls dont cum without permission and no Man told me i could cum but i want to cum so badly but also i dont want to cum because being edged makes me better makes me wetter makes me obey i want to obey i want to be a stupid cumrag forever and ever and get tasty cummies and my tits need to be covered so i can be super pretty

My stupid cow udders are so huge now one load cant cover them i need to be surrounded by cocks and make all of them cum just so i can feel that warm jizz all over them and i know because we tried it we gave the nice Men online the address to the lab and they came hihihi came and came came all over us and inside us and even three cocks cumming on my boobs isnt enough and also sometimes they aim to high and it lands on my face and that feels so amazing and tastes so fucking good but i like it on my sensitive bimbo tits better because theyre like my pussy and they always need more and more and more and there are never enough cocks around to share and we try to be good girls and serve together but we get greedy and end up fighting for the honor of wrosph worp woshi whoreshiping cocks but the Men help us and tell us what to do and whos turn it is and they even gave us a fun way to fight for cock and we have rubbing competitions where we dance and rub and tease and say so many filthy things anf the one that proves shes the more depraved slut gets the cum and i wish i was better because i want to win every time but sometimes another fucking cunt wins and i have to wait

pffff last night sophia did her hole pretending to be innocent thing and called the men daddy and said she would be the bestest girl for them and smiled and flirted and made it seem like she didnt know her skirt was riding up and she had no panties and they used her so much i only got like three loads on my tits and i had to get more Men to come into the lab because its sooo not fair that she got used in all her holes by like, ten guys and i only got three cocks in my tight asshole but in the end more Men came and i really slutted it up and called myself a piece of worthless fuckmeat and a mindless obedient set of holes with huge tits and explained to the Men why girls need to obey and be happy and how fenminism is boring and maybe us girls would be better off without rights and they liked that and they really liked it when they found out i have a PHD an stuff so in the end i got used lots so I was useful and it was a good night

Clothes are all over the floor and the desks but we need more because there are so many ways to be a cute slut and we want to please everyone and become anything they want us to be and do anything they want us to do and i tried ordering more clothes but i got confused but a Man ordered for us so they should be arriving soon and fuck we cant stop rubbing and licking each other imagining all the sexy stuff we’ll get to wear and also the new camera is so good and we look just like the girls in porn and i guess we are pron now because we keep filming or letting Men film us and they upload everything and people like it lots and i think about everyone jerking off to us and its the best feeling in the world knowing i dont have to be there to make a cock cum, i can be useful forever because the videos will always be around fuuuuuck i almost came April got sooo good at eating pussy but i don’t want to cum i really want to cum i 

I dont remeber how to ttach stuff but ill get a Man to put the best videos on the file so yall can see what good girls we are now and maybe you can cum to us please cum to us please rub your pussies and play with your cocks looking at us we want to make you happy and horny like we are i wish everyone could feel the Pink its so good and fuzzy and warm and makes people giggle and fuck nd be so happy maybe everyone should take what we take and grow big boobs and sink into the Pink I wonder if men get huge cocks from it that woud be amazing like giant cocks that cum buckets fuccccccc i dont wanna{p´.k

Fuck i came so hard but im still so fucking horny it’s never enough i need more i need to please i exist to please obeying makes me feel so good an cum makes me so pretty and i dont remember how i lived before because this feels like its who ive always been like its just right and natural and good but i started writin for a reason and i can’t figure out what it was i have to tell April to stop eating me out and find out what im supposed to rite 

Oh, duh! A Man said big boobs make girls dumb. And that’s a dumb thing to believe. But I have massive tits and I’m dumb so I guess I believe him because dumb feels good so I’ll believe any dumb thing a Man tells me!

EDITOR’S NOTE: This document is being published without edits or corrections at the request of Prof. Lawson. Given that the express intent of this “paper” is to disprove his theories, we felt it fair to show the resulting work unaltered.

Prof. Mia West has retired from Academia. She and her team seem determined to continue in the adult industry. The Northwestern Journal of Science has reached out to Prof. West, who requested readers to “log into the sites and cum yourselves silly to our stupid bimbo bodies”.

As far as we can ascertain, every one of the mentioned videos is available for free. It is unknown who obtains the ad revenue or funds the team; however, given the noticeable increase in production value in newer installments, as well as the establishment of what has been christened the “Slut House” to film, we must assume someone is managing the team’s career.

On an unrelated note, we’re delighted to announce Prof. Lawson’s new seminar, “Video Production, Marketing and Monetization in the Digital Age”, to take place this Fall.  

Did you enjoy this story? You can support my work at patreon.com/prettynosferatu

[rafescherie]

✮⋆˙ bsf!rafe coming to your rescue when you need him

warnings — mature contents; physical violence (fighting).

cherie's note —oh noooo save me bsf!rafe, oh noooo. decided to post this draft c: ! will definitely make a part two if anybody wants to read it. i love bsf!rafe being secretly whipped for reader trope ugh.

his knuckles threatened white with the way he aggressively gripped onto the steering wheel of his notorious black truck. it was half-past midnight, the tall man settling down for the night when his phone vibrated against his lacquered nightstand, revealing a phone call from you. this was not unusual — you and rafe cameron had been best friends for years, conjoined at the hip up until a few weeks ago when you had met your boyfriend. rafe hadn't liked him from the start — he was just another preppy kid from this side of the island, who never put in the work and complained when shit didn't go his way. since then, he had hardly spoken to you, tension spreading like a sickness between both of you — you hardly even greeted him when you saw him in public, and rafe knew he was the reason. the wall wedged between you both only further grew everyday.

the weeping in your broken voice shatters his fucking heart to pieces, strangled communication over your throat-swelling hyperventilation. you knew he would do anything for you, whether he was holding a grudge or not — the only person you could truly depend on, was rafe cameron. he was so helplessly whipped for you — he would go as far as killing for you, if it ever came down to it. his cold demeanor shattered immediately — he knew what he needed to do.

the anger boiling under the surface of his flesh hadn't subsided during the short ride, slamming the heavy metallic door of his huge truck shut with so much force it shook the vehicle. his steps up the driveway of this house were filled with fury, ready to start a fight with the first person he noticed even looking at you the wrong way. the music of the party hummed loudly outside of the residence, fading as the salty ocean breeze flowed through the otherwise quiet neighborhood.

and there you sat, perched lowly on the front steps of the porch — salty tears stained onto your flustered cheeks, eyes puffy from how hard you had been sobbing into your phone. you stood at his arrival, arms wrapping around yourself to insulate the warmth of your own body under your pitiful little dress. his arms wrapped around your shoulders, nose nuzzling into the fabric of his shirt. the cologne that clung to the material of his clothing sent a chill of comfort over your exhausted body, a wave of safety easing your nerves.

"you okay, sweet girl?" he asks softly, dark-blue eyes searching over your face for any sort of discomfort. his gaze flickered with something other than just concern — outrage and frenzy. a knot of rage tightened within his chest at the sight of your implausible little nod of reassurance. he kisses the top of your hairline softly, pulling away swiftly to step foot onto the wooden porch.

the house was packed — sweaty, drunken teens swaying to the beat of this pathetic playlist beaming through every room. he moved effortlessly through the crowd of people, heading towards the kitchen with one thing in mind — revenge. despite your whiny protests following him along, he was blinded by rage, bright red flooding his vision. your boyfriend wasn't going to get away with this. not again.

across the lavish kitchen, your boyfriend held a bottle of beer within his grasp — a smug look pressed across his face at the attention from his friends. had he not been drinking tonight, things could have been different — but he was a mean drunk, ego fueled by the torment he placed on those around him. this time, it had been you who had inevitably fallen within his crosshairs. rafe had figured it was only a matter of time before you fell victim, too.

rafe's steps towards him are strong and calculated. your boyfriend’s inebriated state of mind slows his reflexes, unable to recognize rafe approaching until he towered over him. the eldest cameron sibling's closed fist shot out like a bullet. the punch connected with his jaw, snapping his head to the side. pain bursted through his skull, sharp and disorientating, hardly enough time before rafe would throw another his way.

"piece of shit," rafe growls, his voice rough. his hands curled into fists, knuckles white with rage, "look at you — always so weak. just like i said you'd be."

your hand flies over your mouth, pure shock coursing through your veins at the sight. you felt bad — truly, you did. but it wasn't like he didn't deserve it — he did. your heart thunders against your chest, the rhythmic pounding almost in sync with the blows delivered to his face.

your boyfriend gasps, his chest tightening with the effort of breathing, but he didn't try to rise. his body felt like it belonged to someone else — someone weak, broken. he had no fight left in him, body hunched and bruised, face pale from the beating.

"you're pathetic," rafe sneered, wiping the blood from off of his own lip, as he took a step back. "look at you. poor excuse of a fucking boyfriend."

adrenaline surged through rafe's bloodstream, delivering one final kick to his ribcage before walking away. your boyfriend’s eyes, bloodshot and swollen, slowly lifted to meet yours, but there was no fire behind them. only exhaustion. only defeat.

you followed rafe out of the party silently, tears streaming down your cheeks. despite the chilly air across the ocean, rafe's body was warm with epinephrine, the rush only subsiding the closer he got to his parked vehicle. his jaw was clenched, the muscle ticking under his skin, but he held himself together, his voice low and steady as he helped you into the large truck. every movement was deliberate, careful, as though he was fighting the urge to snap, and yet, he didn’t let his frustration show beyond his tense posture. once you were settled, he stepped around the front, the weight of his anger still radiating off him, before sliding into the driver’s seat with a slow exhale.

the ride back to his house was silent — tension cutting the air like a razor blade. everything had happened so fast, the night becoming a blur the more you thought about it. still, sitting inside of rafe's truck once more, you felt at home. it hadn't become a realization until you sat perched in that stupid short dress, looking so damn pretty despite your running makeup, that you realized how much you missed this.

"thank you, rafe." you speak, breaking the silence. your voice is soft in comparison, offering genuine gratitude to your guardian angel. his free hand laid against his lap, bruised knuckles throbbing under his tanned skin — yet, he was more than happy he had come to your rescue.

"'course, pretty girl. told you i'd be there if you needed me."

[gf2bellamy]

hello!!! just wanted to tell you that i absolutely love your fics and they really make my day <3

i was wondering if i could request a fic where bau!reader is kind of a geek about maybe doctor who but they really dont talk about it until they hear penelope and spencer talking about and she goes full on reid rant and spencer kind of just lights up bc hes never seen her so excited about something before

hopefully this isnt too niche 😣😣😣😣

but i would love to see what you would do!!!

-🦔

doctor — spencer reid

pairing: spencer reid x fem!reader ( no use of y/n ) content warnings: nothing a/n: hi hi !! thank you so much <3 i barely know anything about doctor who so i apologize if i got anything wrong 😭 pls lmk so i can fix it but tysm for your request !! <33 hope you enjoy this

You clutched the report tightly to your chest as you made your way down the hall toward Garcia’s office. The case file you’d been working on was missing a piece of information, and Garcia was the only one who could fill in the gaps. As you approached her brightly decorated door, you noticed it was slightly open, and the sound of a conversation spilled into the hallway.

You recognized the voices immediately. You paused for a moment, not wanting to interrupt, but then you caught a snippet of their conversation that made your heart skip a beat.

“But you have to admit,” Spencer was saying, his voice tinged with excitement, “the way the Doctor handles paradoxes is scientifically fascinating. I mean, the concept of a fixed point in time versus a mutable one—it’s not entirely implausible, given theoretical physics.”

“Oh, please,” Garcia shot back, laughing. “It’s a TV show, Boy Wonder. Don’t go all ‘Reid’ on me and ruin the magic with your big brain.”

Your lips curled into a smile as you leaned against the doorframe, listening.

Doctor Who. They were talking about Doctor Who. It was your favorite show, something you’d loved for years but rarely brought up at work.

You couldn’t help yourself. “Fixed points in time are one thing,” you chimed in, stepping into the room, “but what about the ethics of the Doctor’s non-interference policy? I mean, how many times has he broken his own rules to save someone? And don’t even get me started on the Time War.”

Both Garcia and Spencer turned to look at you, their eyes wide with surprise. Garcia’s mouth dropped open in delight, while Spencer’s face lit up like a kid on Christmas morning. You felt a flush of warmth spread across your cheeks, but you couldn’t stop the words from tumbling out.

“I mean, the Doctor’s whole thing is about compassion and saving people, right? But then you’ve got moments like in ‘The Waters of Mars,’. It’s such a fascinating contradiction.”

Spencer stared at you, his expression a mix of awe and admiration. “You… you watch Doctor Who?” he asked, his voice soft.

You nodded, feeling a little self-conscious.“Yeah. I’ve been a fan for years. It’s kind of my thing.”

Garcia clapped her hands together, grinning from ear to ear. “Oh, this is perfect! Reid finally has someone who can keep up with his sci-fi rants. I mean, I love the show, but I’m more about the drama and the cute companions. You two can geek out over the sciencey stuff.”

Spencer’s eyes never left yours, and you could see the spark of excitement in them.

“Do you… do you want to talk about it sometime?” he asked hesitantly, as if he were afraid you’d say no. “I mean, if you’re not busy. I’d love to hear your thoughts on the newer seasons. I know some fans have mixed feelings about them.”

You felt your heart flutter at the earnestness in his voice. Spencer Reid, the man you’d secretly admired for so long, was asking you to talk about Doctor Who. It was almost too good to be true.

“I’d love that,” you said, smiling. “But fair warning, I might get a little carried away. Once I start talking about the Doctor, it’s hard to stop.”

Spencer’s lips curved into a shy smile, and you noticed the faintest hint of pink on his cheeks. “I don’t mind,” he said softly. “I like hearing you talk about something you’re passionate about. It’s… nice.”

The room seemed to grow quieter.

Garcia cleared her throat dramatically. “Well, as much as I’d love to stick around and watch this adorable nerd-fest unfold, I’ve got some data to hack. You two kids have fun.”

She winked at you before turning back to her computer, leaving you and Spencer standing there, looking at each other. You glanced down at the report in your hands, suddenly remembering why you’d come to Garcia’s office in the first place.

“Oh, right,” you said, holding up the file. “I actually came here for your help, Garcia. I’m missing some information for this case.”

Garcia waved a hand dismissively. “Consider it done, sweetcheeks. But seriously, you two should go grab a coffee or something. Talk about timey-wimey stuff. I’m sure Reid has a lot of opinions he’s dying to share.”

Spencer chuckled nervously, running a hand through his hair. “I, uh, wouldn’t want to impose,” he said, glancing at you. “But if you’re free…”

You nodded, feeling a rush of excitement. “I’d like that. Maybe after work?”

“It’s a date,” Spencer said, then immediately looked like he wanted to take the words back. “I mean, not a date-date. Unless you—I mean, it could be, if you wanted—”

You laughed, cutting off his rambling. “A date sounds perfect,” you said, smiling warmly at him.

[icantbelieveitsnotbutler]

Polaris Identity Theory

Manga spoilers under the cut.

Because Toboso conceals his face, Polaris is probably a character who readers would recognize.

Polaris has claimed on multiple occasions to be a butler, and said that he lost his previous master. This might lead one to assume he was a butler in Vincent Phantomhive's household. However, Polaris appears to have a different chin shape compared to any of the previous butlers.

Polaris' first physical appearance is when r!Ciel comes to the townhouse. Soma opens the door, let's r!Ciel in, and offers him food because he believes him to be o!Ciel. R!Ciel shoots Soma with a small handgun, which is o!Ciel's signature weapon. When Agni tries to protect Soma, Polaris appears and stabs him with a knife, of which he has many. In this scene we see that Polaris is tall, but not as tall as Agni.

He is also incredibly strong and fast, performing maneuvers that would be impossible for a human, and as a result, impossible for a bizarre doll created from a human, as the bizarre dolls we've seen so far seem to retain the physical limitations of their human bodies.

Sebastian even remarks that killing Agni would have required more than 5 average humans.

The rest of the information we have about Polaris is very limited. In Japanese, he refers to himself using 私 (watashi) and uses uses polite sentence endings (desu and masu).

However, Polaris' most distinguishing characteristic is his devotion to his master. When confronted with the possibility of running out of blood and losing r!Ciel, he loses control, yells, stops using polite speech in Japanese, destroys his surroundings, and falls to his knees.

If Toboso were introducing a new character, she wouldn't need to hide his face. The only existing character who fits the profile of a butler, exceedingly devoted to his master, almost as tall as Angi, wielding an absurd amount of knives, and with strength and speed way beyond those of humans, is Sebastian.

When Polaris first stabs Agni in the townhouse, he seems to appear suddenly and unnoticed by Soma and Agni. The reader might assume that he came into the room or out of hiding at this moment to defend r!Ciel. However, I believe it to be more likely that he walked in with r!Ciel, unremarked-upon because if Ciel walks in, Sebastian would be expected to follow. In fact, it would be strange if the 13-year-old came in alone, without an adult, and especially without his near-constant companion.

At this point I will mention what originally made me think of this theory: Sebastian's catchphrase. I will do my best, with my extremely limited knowledge of Japanese, to explain.

The phrase Sebastian is so fond of saying is "私は[悪魔で]執事ですから." He's literally saying "For I am a devil and a butler," but doesn't blow his cover as a demon because it sounds identical to "For I am a butler to the end/persistently." (私は[飽���まで]執事ですから)

After freaking out over the possibility of losing r!Ciel, Polaris tells him and Undertaker that if r!Ciel died, "I wouldn't be able to rest, even if I died. I can't imagine where else I could be... for I am a butler, even in death."

私は[死んでも]執事ですから。

This is nearly identical to Sebastian's catchphrase, both saying "For I am a butler," with a single word (and its attached particle) swapped out:

私は(I)[ ]執事(butler)です(am)から(for)。

An obvious problem with this theory is that Polaris is loyal to r!Ciel, while Sebastian is loyal to o!Ciel. An even more obvious problem is that while Polaris is murdering Agni, Sebastian is with o!Ciel elsewhere. This is the point where my implausible theory reaches its peak of absurdity: I believe Polaris is a bizarre doll of Sebastian, specifically Sebastian the butler.

When Undertaker impaled Sebastian on the Campania, he obtained his cinematic record. Like when Grelle cut him with her death-scythe in the Red Butler Arc, Sebastian's record only shows memories of his current body and nothing before it manifested. The sole purpose of the body named Sebastian is to be the best butler and to serve his master. This could also explain the previous master Polaris lost and his insanity over losing another: the last memory of the body the cinematic record was taken from is seeing o!Ciel thrown over a railing and out of reach; Undertaker captured Sebastian's desperation in that moment and used it to create a bizarre doll.

[deltaruminations]

i don't like to assume that gaster abducted dess for reasons that are pretty obvious if you're familiar with this blog but one possibility i can buy is that, over many failed iterations of deltarune, he saw her doom herself like hundreds of times in increasingly absurd and implausible ways and nothing he changed ever prevented it, and finally he just lost it and he was like “HOLY SHIT. OH MY GOD. I'M TAKING YOU OUT OF THIS STORY UNTIL I CAN GUARANTEE YOU WON'T GET YOURSELF KILLED AGAIN.” but then this backfired into her becoming/creating the roaring knight like he just physically cannot stop her from doing total jackass stunts

[beifong-brainrot]

I think my main 'issue' with Azula's portrayal in the Ashes of the Academy isn't that it's completely implausible that she was your stereotypical cruel, mean girl, but rather the fact that it's the most straightforward, uninovative thing you can do with her character.

And honestly the plushie burning was just comically over the top. Though she also did Wilhelm Tell her friend with fire in the flashbacks in the og show so who knows.

Which isn't a bad thing, perse. I find it absolutely plausible that Azula was an absolute monster in middle school. Azula was an innocent child that was manupulated by Ozai from a young age. But children are also notoriously assholes, especially if that behaviour was encouraged, which it was in Azula's case.

But I can understand why some people aren't totally jazzed about it. We sympathise with Azula, and many of us see ourselves in her. I see a lot of my child self in her, too. And I, of course, primarily see her as a victim of Ozai and the Fire Nation's ideals. She's very young, and was groomed through her childhood to be Ozai's weapon, which severely damaged her psyche. She's not pure evil, obviously not.

And I think that's why seeing her portrayed as an asshole rubs people the wrong way, especially in flashbacks, because it feels like villainsing a very young, very vulnerable victim.

But I think the older I get, the more ok I am with Azula being mean, cruel, etc. It doesn't erase her status as a victim and doesn't make her any less tragic to me.

I don't care whether Azula was an innocent, sweet kid that suddenly flipped the switch and became daddy's little weapon, or whether she was an absolute nightmare of a child that burned toys and bullied other children. The truth is probably somewhere in the middle, tbh, but on either extreme, she is still a victim of an environment that hurt her and groomed her to hurt others and she deserves sympathy for it.

Hell, when I attended a shitty, pretentious, all girl's middle school, I met girls very similar to how Azula was at the time. The comic stresses multiple times that the Academy is an incredibly volatile place that encourages student infighting and rivalry.

And that's some serious rethoric, that of course would do some serious damage to a kid's worldview. And, of course, Azula, who fits into the system well, is rewarded for participating in it, while also seeing others who don't punished, will inernalise this.

While I don't think Ursa "lost" Azula when she entered the Academy, it certainly reinforced the seeds Ozai seemed to have been planting within Azula from when she started firebending. If we want to get technical about it, Ursa "lost" Azula whenever she decided or was forced to let Ozai influence Azula.

This is aggresively on the nose though. It feels vaguely ooc but not Excessively so. Let's chalk it up to emotional vulnerability due to what's happening to her.

And while nothing would make me happier than to see Azula get a redemption arc, I'm also not as set on it as I was a few years ago. I want healing for Azula, and I don't think she's too fargone for one. I don't think the creators do either. While she's still being presented as an antagonist and an overall mean person, especially in the recent comic, I think it's not veered into "irredeemable" territory quite yet.

The hard truth is that Azula truly having a redemption would require her to admit that she was wrong, certain fundamental truths of her life were wrong and she was, and likely still is, a very bad person. A victim, and a person deserving of help, and care, but still bad. Those two aren't mutually exclusive. Which is incredibly difficult for most people, but with the indoctrination Azula would be subjected to as a child, she would have even more resistance to it.

Like, while we do meme on Zuko getting physically sick after doing 1 good thing, it's a very good representation of how difficult it can be to change when you've had certain morals and ideals so rigorously ingrained into you from such a young age.

And Zuko, arguably, had much less incentive to be faithful to the Fire Nation and Ozai than Azula.

I don't think Ashes of the Academy was awful in the way it portrayed Azula. It certainly wasn't the best, and it was, let's be honest, rather lazy and uncreative. But it wasn't some huge blow to her character.

I'll also leave some links to my other metas concerning Azula:

How Azula became isolated from Ursa and opened up to Ozai's grooming

Why Zuko and Kuvira got redemptions and why Azula didn't? Hint: it has nothing to do with morality

[ofteacupsandclocks]

Something I love about Hannibal is the very subtle supernatural/mystical component:

1. First off the most obvious - Will’s empathy. On the one hand it could be explained as him just interpreting the evidence but on the other hand he is describing people’s emotions. Their motivations. And not at a surface level either - he could feel what they are feeling. And that’s something beyond what evidence can provide.

2. The Angel-Maker. The angel maker could tell the people he chose were sinners. Were evil. He could see them with fiery heads. Again his tumour explains the hallucinations but it doesn’t explain how selective they were.

Also the angel-maker stringing himself up in his suicide is very implausible bordering on impossible if we adhere strictly to realism.

3. Hannibal’s incredible pain tolerance. Look I get it that the man’s been through a lot. But being able to withstand being branded with hot iron without a scream is just impossible unless he has an actual medical condition like CIPA where’s he’s physically incapable of feeling pain.

There’s probably more examples of this magical realism but these are the like top three I can think of right now. And I love love love this aspect of the show

[luveline]

hi honey, i love you so so much!!

what about stripper!reader with derek morgan?? he's on a case where strippers are being murdered, and while hotch is driving morgan calls you and tells you not to go into work because of what's going on, and emily is listening in on the conversation from the backseat and they tease him

thank youu!! love you!

ty for requesting lovely!! ilysm ♡

"I know you don't like listening to me, but could you do me a favour? Just this once?" 

Emily leans over in her seat so Spencer can see her side eye. "Who's Morgan talking to?" 

"Stay home tonight. No, this isn't a jealousy thing, you vixen–" 

Spencer shrugs. "No idea. But–" 

"But," Emily agrees. They've just left a crime scene with a specific victim, and now Morgan's on the phone asking someone to stay home. That someone would have reason to visit said crime scene's location, and the word vixen suggests female rather than male, which means, "Morgan has a secret stripper girlfriend." 

Spencer's entire face takes his frown, eyebrows pinched, mouth quirked into a telling line. "I like the implausible," he murmurs, "but that feels illogical. Where would they have met?"

"Uh," Emily says, widening her eyes at him. "Where do you think, Spence?" 

"Morgan doesn't need to go to a strip club." 

Emily understands what Spencer's saying. There are lots of reasons that people frequent strip clubs or gentlemen's clubs and none of those reasons apply to Derek. It's possible he could go socially, but it's just so unlike him, it doesn't add up. 

"I'm telling you the truth. I can't give you more detail than that, I just need you to stay home tonight." Derek pauses, laughs. "Alright," —his voice takes on a mechanical rendition, clearly having been fed a line he has to repeat aloud— "I, Derek Morgan, am an ignorant, jealous man, who can't cope with the fact that you don't want me, and am making up sad and childish lies to get you to stay home from your job. Is that what you wanted? Yeah, laugh it up." 

Emily laughs and grabs the headrest as he hangs up on you, pulling herself forward to taunt him as is required. "Care to explain yourself?" 

Derek sighs. "This is why I didn't tell you guys." 

"What!" Spencer says, though his smile is more audible than his incredulity. 

"So you have something to tell us?" Emily asks. 

Derek knows he can't weasel his way out of telling them, and he doesn't really want to. "I don't have a secret stripper girlfriend," he says, rolling his eyes, "she's not my girlfriend. She is an exotic dancer at one of the clubs downtown, and I met her at Home Depot." 

Emily isn't perturbed that Derek heard their gossiping. She's shameless. She doesn't even care that Hotch is frowning behind the wheel. "What was an exotic dancer doing at Home Depot?"

"Weirdly, Emily, she has a home. She wanted help finding renter friendly flooring." 

"Can we meet her?" 

"Never," Derek says with a smile. Emily couldn't know this, but he really likes you. You're sweet, super funny, and yes, you're a stripper. You work hard. Pole dancing is as physically demanding as any manual labour and you're damn good at it. "Ever." 

Spencer interjects the ensuing argument with a statistical analysis of strippers who are homeowners (unfairly few), but Morgan doesn't answer, trying to read a new text from you discretely. 

Sorry if I embarrassed you at work :( is it really not safe to go ?? Maybe u can come and be my bodyguard. I won't even make u tip me 4:10PM

He sends back, Really not safe. Stay home for me, relax for a few days. Call you tonight even if nothing changes 4:11PM

My hero <3 I trust u, but be careful OK ? and pls if it isn't too much trouble can u bring back some of those weird candies again? thank u thank u <3<3<3 4:14PM

Hotch makes a quiet sound of approval, eyes on the road. "The same girl you were with at Docklands? Rossi said she was cute." 

"She is." 

"Rossi met her?" Emily asks. "Oh, you're the worst."

[onehellofajellyfish]

Another thing, in addition to Sebastian's personality (and I'd even argue his nature since he doesn't seem to experience human Lust), which makes Sebastian being aggressive or forcing himself on Ciel in a lot of popular fanon seem so wildly implausible/ooc is Ciel and the situation of their dynamic itself

Ciel formed Sebastian into someone who can't lie to him, abandon him, or let him be genuinely harmed. Sebastian can be directly commanded in addition to those three rules.

Why on earth would Ciel tolerate Sebastian breaking his trust and ignoring his consent? That's the entire draw of the relationship from Ciel's perspective! He holds the leash or what's the point!

It's arguably a direct breach of contract, and by the party who's a stickler for rules

It feels like people sometimes wanna be out here writing ed/ward cull/en instead of Sebastian, and they also forget how strong-willed Ciel is. As if he would take any nonsense from Sebastian, let alone assault, especially considering his trauma. Even without that, it would be beyond unacceptable and they both know it.

Frankly, I don't even think Sebastian would even be aggressive/violent to a reader insert stranger. He's picky. He prefers to catch flies with honey in any scenario we've seen (and really, that's a victory of wills which he has to work for, since physical overpowerment is nothing so at the very least would be boring to him), so it isn't even about Ciel.

(The only exception could be established sebaciel doing roleplay, but even then Ciel still retains the control and power here, and you'd have to work to sell me on it tbh)

[moonlit-typewriter]

It’s so funny to see how much older Walker looks as the series continues, despite it not actually being all that long.

I think we all forget what boys ages 12-17 are like, in terms of physical growth. My younger brother went away for a month and came back 5 inches taller and with a fully adult-sounding voice that he did not have when he left. Walker looking like he’s clearly grown is not completely implausible 😂

[ddarker-dreams]

missing scarlet ribbons so bad… brain food for SR: confined space stand that lowkey locks SR reader in a really small alternate dimension space with the bucci gang. like… chest to chest on top like “aughh sorry!! its so cramped in here :((“ and the guys r j internally screaming over it

RETURNING WITH SOME SCARLET RIBBONS !!!!!!!!!!!! i love them your honor <33333333

[Scarlet Ribbons index]

Although Giorno recognizes this predicament's unique benefits, he still prioritizes your well-being. He will check you over, ensuring no harm has been inflicted. Once that’s settled, admittedly, a few mischievous thoughts flit through his mind… none that he’ll act on, however. He accommodates you to the best of his ability. Ever the opportunist, he’ll gratefully accept any physical contact your shuffling around results in. Should you find yourself bored while waiting out the Stand’s effects, he’ll humor (most) requests you make of Gold Experience. And no, he won’t agree to create an elephant, no matter how passionately you plead your case. You’ll have to settle for a duckling or something similarly small. Capybaras aren’t off the table. 

Your level-headed leader, Bruno, finds himself unusually flustered. He recoils a bit too fast from any contact and dedicates a lengthy chunk of time to clearing his throat. He steels his nerves by asking if you’re alright, feeling any adverse side effects, etc. Sticky Fingers is summoned to check for a way out of this pocket dimension, an idea that’s proven implausible. You’ll both have to wait it out. Bruno gives you as much space as he can, to the point his contortions are stressing you out from how uncomfortable they must be. He almost chokes when you offhandedly suggest sitting on his lap to ‘free up space.’ Poor man. 

Fugo’s irritated over the fight’s outcome. He feels useless, since your presence prevents him from utilizing Purple Haze, lest you fall victim to the Stand’s abilities. He critiques your strategies and lists what you should’ve done differently. Don’t take it personally — internally, he’s berating himself for being unable to do more. The self-loathing steadily fades away as he recognizes how close these accommodations have you. Fugo cuts himself off mid rant, sputtering incoherent gibberish. His heart starts beating so hard, he wonders if he might be going into cardiac arrest. Your knees are brushing against each other. Why aren’t you panicking? Why is he panicking? … And why does he feel some gratitude toward the Stand User responsibles for this? 

Narancia considers this a golden opportunity to prove how reliable (and cool!) he is. Will most likely quote an action hero for maximum effect. He reassures you that he’s ‘totally got this’ and suggests shooting the walls with Aerosmith to bust out. You have to talk him out of this brilliant plan, reminding him that ricochet is a thing. Sitting still and waiting for the Stand’s ability to run its course hits him the hardest. He wants to be proactive, primed to pummel the asshole that got you both in this situation. However, your presence greatly decreases the likelihood he’ll do anything rash. At a certain point, he finds the whole thing kinda cool, like a secret base only you two know about. 

Mista used to pray for days like these. He’s thanking all the saints (that he can remember) for this gracious opportunity. Still, he’s mindful of your boundaries, doing his best not to intrude on your space. He will be inhaling your perfume, though. In copious amounts. While escape should be a high priority, seeing as neither of you are dying, he’s rather chill about the entire ordeal. You’re his favorite person to goof around with. He jokes about offering himself up if you’re stuck here long enough for starvation to kick in. You don’t get why his mind always ends up in a Hannibal-Lecter-esque place, but it’s a nice (?) sentiment. The Stand’s ability ends far too fast for his liking. 

Abbacchio is secretly grateful it’s you he’s stuck with and not some other schmuck. He might give you a hard time, but your presence is tolerable, even if you have a proclivity for yapping. The fact that you’re nice on the eyes is an added bonus. Considering his height, it’s impossible for you to have absolutely zero contact. Abbacchio’s always been tough on himself — he wouldn’t blame you if you were repulsed by him. So for you not to shrink away when your hands touch… it warms his heart in a way he hadn’t thought possible. He’ll humor your musings, adding his own dry wit on the occasion until you’re both freed. 

[prokopetz]

Code Green

A game for 3–7 players, about being where you're not supposed to be.

Last night, you were suspended in a tube of brightly coloured goo in an underground research facility, operated by an organisation whose three-letter initialism's meaning is strictly need-to-know. This morning, someone noticed your tube was empty. Nobody has determined how that happened yet, and you're not inclined to stick around until they figure it out!

Or, in other words, it's been nearly a whole week since I got that massive revision to Space Gerbils out the door, and apparently my brain has decided that's enough of a break. This thing was written start to finish in under 12 hours, so let the circumstances of its authorship guide your expectations. Special thanks go once again to Caro Asercion, whose micro-RPG Dwindle introduced me to the design space I'm fucking around with here. Go buy their stuff.

Anyway:

What You'll Need

Code Green is a tabletop RPG for one game moderator (GM) and up to six players. Each player will need a copy of the Profile Grid, below, as well as three tokens of some sort: dice, coins, beads, etc. You'll also need at least five six-sided dice (for the whole group, not per player, though it's fine if each player has their own set). If you're using dice for tokens, it's recommended that the dice you plan to roll be visually distinguishable in case they land on someone's Profile Grid.

Rolling Dice

There are two ways you'll be asked to roll dice in this game: rolling d66, and rolling a dice pool.

To roll d66, roll a six-side die twice, reading the first roll as the "tens" place and the second roll as the "ones" place, yielding a number in the range from 11 to 66. For example, if you rolled a 3 and then a 5, your result is 35. You may also be asked to flip a d66 roll; to do this, take your result and swap the digits without re-rolling. In the preceding example, if you flipped your roll of 35, your new result would be 53.

To roll a dice pool, pick up the indicated number of six-side dice, roll them, and take the highest individual result. Duplicates have no special significance. For example, if you rolled a pool of three dice and got a 2, a 4, and a 4, your result would be 4. If you would ever roll a pool of zero or fewer dice, roll two dice and take the lowest instead.

Character Creation

Each player should create their own character. There are three things about your character which are always true:

You are newly born into the world. You may know things about the world (e.g., from your programming, having read them on a computer terminal, etc.), but you haven't experienced them.

You are implausibly good at remaining inconspicuous; unless you're deliberately drawing attention or doing something which requires a dice roll, humans will almost always fail to spot you.

You are not human. You can decide what that means.

To find out what else is true about your character, roll or choose three times from the Form table, and three times from the Function table, placing your results into the correspondingly labelled slots on the Profile Grid, below, in any order you please. Your three results from each table should be different; if you elected to roll and get the same entry multiple times, flip your result, and re-roll if it's still a duplicate.

Think about what your three Form traits and three Function traits imply about your character's physical makeup, but don't set anything in stone just yet – you'll see why not in a moment.

Finally, roll a six-sided die five times, and record the results in the order in which they're received. The resulting five-digit number is the only name your character has when play begins.

Table 1: Form (d66)

11–12. Blood 13–14. Bones 15–16. Brain 21–22. Claws 23–24. Ears 25–26. Eyes 31–32. Guts 33–34. Hands 35–36. Heart 41–42. Hair 43–44. Legs 45–46. Lungs 51–52. Nose 53–54. Skin 55–56. Tail 61–62. Teeth 63–64. Tongue 65–66. Wings

Table 2: Function (d66)

11–12. Accelerated 13–14. Autonomous 15–16. Auxiliary 21–22. Cryogenic 23–24. Cryptic 25–26. Elastic 31–32. Electric 33–34. Entropic 35–36. Invasive 41–42. Invulnerable 43–44. Kinetic 45–46. Magnetic 51–52. Phasing 53–54. Polymorphic 55–56. Projectile 61–62. Pyrogenic 63–64. Telescopic 65–66. Toxic

Playing the Game

Play proceeds in a series of scenes. In each scene, the GM will set the stage: a challenge to overcome, a peril to escape, a mystery to investigate, etc. Given the nature of your characters, most things will be mysteries to you!

Initial Token Placement

Once the stage has been set, place each of your three tokens on a different square on your Profile Grid. If you have no preference, you can roll d66 for each token and place it in the square whose marked numeric range contains the number you rolled, flipping or re-rolling your result if you get a square which already contains a token. The placement of these tokens represents your initial state when the scene opens. Depending on the nature of your character, this may be reflected by a shifting of internal focus, or by a physical transformation.

Participation

To participate in the scene, simply tell the GM what your character does; the GM will describe how the world responds, and ask what you do next. Whenever you wish – or are forced – to do something more than lurk and observe, you are obliged to make a test.

Making Tests

To make a test, first choose a pair of traits – one Form trait, and one Function trait – with which to face the challenge. For example, if your Form traits are Legs, Tail and Teeth, and your Function traits are Cryptic, Invulnerable and Phasing, you might test your Invulnerable Legs against the trouble at hand.

Next, count the number of tokens present in the rows extending from each of the chosen traits. The illustration below shows which squares would be consulted in the preceding example:

Next, roll a dice pool containing a number of dice equal to the number of tokens present on squares extending from the chosen traits. Do not count a token twice if it's on the square where the two traits intersect (e.g., the green square in the illustration above). In the event that no tokens fall on squares extending from appropriate traits, remember that you are allowed to roll a pool of zero dice by rolling two dice and taking the lowest rather than the highest.

Finally, compare your result to the following table:

1–3. Less than human. Whatever you'd intended to try still happens, but it cannot overcome human opposition (or adversity which would challenge a typical human), and any lasting effects are transitory and easily explained away. 4–5. Mostly human. Your effort can contend with human opposition (or circumstances which would challenge a competent human), and its lasting effects make it obvious that someone (or something) has been interfering with matters. 6. More than human. Your effort easily brushes aside any human opposition, and its lasting effects are impossible to rationalise as anything other than the intervention of inhuman forces.

Without Applicable Traits

In the event that you're forced to make a test and no possible pairing of your traits is applicable, you don't get to roll anything, not even with a pool of zero dice; simply resolve the outcome as though you'd rolled a result of 1–3. Other characters may attempt to preserve you from this fate by assisting you, in which case you roll one die per assisting friend; see below for more details.

Assistance

If you wish to assist another character in making a test, consult your own Profile Grid, considering only those squares which contain tokens. Only the specific pairs of traits represented by the squares on which your tokens fall are eligible for assistance; for example, if one of your tokens falls on the intersection of Cryptic and Teeth, you may assist with Cryptic Teeth, but not any other pair of traits involving Cryptic or Teeth unless those squares also have tokens on them.

If you're able to identify an eligible pair of traits that seems applicable to the test at hand, explain how you're using it to help, and hand the player making the test one extra die. Any number of characters may assist on a given test.

Providing assistance neither requires nor permits your character to adapt (see below) – it needs to be your own test for that!

Adapting

After resolving a test, your character adapts, shifting focus or form to reflect what they've learned. Take one token of your choice from your character sheet, and move it to a different square which doesn't already contain one. You can move any token you wish, but it must end up on a different square than the one it started on unless no valid destinations are available. Adapting is not optional, and must be carried out after every test.

Suffering Strain

If whatever you're making a test against is particularly strenuous or dangerous, you might suffer strain as a consequence. Strain will often be incurred on a result of 1–3, and rarely on a result of 4–5; only the most foolhardy efforts will incur strain even on a result of 6!

To incur strain, roll d66, and place a small X on the square on your Profile Grid whose indicated numeric range contains the number you rolled. If there's a token on that square, immediately move it to an empty square of your choice, unless fewer than three unmarked squares now remain; in that case, simply remove the token entirely.

For the remainder of the scene, tokens may not be moved to any marked square. In addition, if you suffer further strain, and the square indicated by your d66 roll is already marked, your character is incapacitated, and may not participate in tests at all until they recover.

All strain is cleared – and any discarded tokens restored – at the end of each scene. Incapacitated characters also recover at this time.