#incorrect riordanverse quotes

[simpingforpjo]

Monster: Identify yourself!

Percy, panicked: Percy Jackson, Greek, 16, leo sun and bisexual sir!

Monster: You're bi? That's so valid.

[hotpotrandomfics]

Khloe: I have a wife.

Percy, confused: I didn’t know liked women. Can I see her?

Khloe: *pointing to Ciel*

Percy: That’s a grown man.

Khloe: Yes, a man who is my wife!

[incorrect-riordanverse-quotes]

Carter: We need to know who did it. Sadie: We taught Felix and the ankle biters right. One of them will come forward or the others will rat them out.

[lilislegacy]

percy: *intensely watching the news, waiting to hear about something he may have caused*

piper: come on percy, come eat with us. you’ve been sitting there waiting for hours. if something happens, you’ll hear about it eventually. a watched pot never boils

percy, distractedly: yeah and an ignored one boils over

piper: that-

piper, turning to annabeth in confusion: have i been spending too much time with him or is that one of the most logical things i’ve ever heard someone say?

[poppitron360]

Annabeth: [bedraggled, half-dead, deranged grin, eye bags, contemplating homocide]

Percy: That's my fucking wife! That, right there, is my wife and I love her so much!!

[hyperfixation-fix]

Kayla, showing a new Apollo camper around the cabin while Will is on duty in the infirmary:

...so this is your bed over here-

*pats bed*

-make yourself at home, and this-

*pats Nico's head, who is dozing on a beanbag*

-this is our pet Spawn of Satan, but don't worry! Will has had him de-clawed-

Nico, without moving: I'll kill you Kayla, I swear to god.

Kayla: -but he's still working on socialising him.

Nico: They'll never find the body Kayla, I'm dead serious. I know places.

Camper: ....man you guys are weird

[freddie-77-ao3]

Athena: You’re not good enough for my daughter. Percy: You’re not good enough for your daughter. Athena: Excuse me? Percy: You heard me.

[percabethownsmybutt]

percy: i think my mom mixed up our lunches

percy, holds up note that reads: ‘i am very proud of you. love, sally’

annabeth: oh yeah, i didn’t think this was for me

annabeth, holds up note: ‘be good. for goodness sake, please be good’

[thegirlwholivesin-delusion]

[queen-of-weird-girlboy-nation]

Percy: why can’t we steal from the rich? We stole Jason from his camp?

Annabeth: we didn’t steal Jason, he’s free to do whatever he wants

Nico: we literally dragged him here?????

[mysterylilycheeta]

Percy: Hey, Annabeth, do you have any bags I can borrow? Annabeth: The only bags I have are the ones under my eyes, and they're specifically designed to carry the burden of my existence Percy: Annabeth: Percy: Come here baby *opens up arms for a hug*

[simpingforpjo]

Percy: Annabeth why are there holes on the bathroom's walls?

Annabeth:..i saw a spider

Percy: and...?

Annabeth: the mf beast started S W I N G I N G

[hotpotrandomfics]

Hecate: My children have no problems and get along fine.

Alabaster: He’s my brother too!

Lou Ellen: Fuck off, you traumatized him. I’m the big sibling now.

Ciel, Exhausted: Why me? Well Lou does give me cheesecake.

[incorrect-riordanverse-quotes]

Well, the important thing is family and friendship, honesty, values, and nobody got arrested.

Jason Graco, probably

[lilislegacy]

leo: hey percy, what goes through your mind when you control water?

percy: uh, i don’t know. i don’t really think about it. i just do it. you know?

leo: but like, how do you tell it what to do?

percy: i don’t tell it what to do. it just does what i want. i don’t really think it. i feel it.

leo: so like bluetooth

percy: huh?

leo: you bluetooth connect to the ocean

annabeth, putting her book down: leo, Poseidon himself does not bluetooth connect to the ocean. he embodies the ocean. he is the ocean. when poseidon is calm, the ocean is calm. when poseidon is angry, the ocean is angry. because they are both the ocean in different forms. so being poseidon’s son, the ocean is part of percy. it’s the same as when he moves his arms and legs. it’s like another limb, so he doesn’t have to think about controlling it. that’s why water reacts when he’s scared or angry. it’s his reflexes. water is part of him.

leo: so… like icloud

annabeth: that doesn’t even make sen-

percy: yes

[boywonderloverr]

silly pjo/hoo memes i made