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lynzishell · 1 month

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The Past 💛 Atlas

After handing our shoes over to the teenager at the counter and replacing them with the generic and ill-fitting bowling shoes, trying not to think too hard about how many random strangers have worn them before us, we make our way over to where Ash and Lex have already reserved a lane, bickering about how to enter our names into the machine.

Just as we’re sitting down, Lex leans over and bites Ash on the arm. “Ow!” He pulls away from her and rubs at the spot where she sank her teeth in, “Competition makes you so mean.”

“You being a dick makes me mean. Now delete it and walk away.”

I look up just in time to see the U and S disappear from the end of her name and chuckle under my breath. Even I know better than to use her full name under any circumstances lest I lose a limb.

Laughing, Ash hops out of the seat and walks over to us, lifting his sleeve to reveal teeth marks. “Can you believe this?”

“Yeah,” I say, “what did you think was going to happen?”

“I didn’t think she’d bite me,” he pulls his sleeve back down and turns to Dawn with a cheerful smile and says, “Hello,” giving her the opportunity she’s been itching for since I first told her about him.

“Hi! I’m Dawn.”

“Ahh, the twin! I’m Asher. Nice to finally meet you.”

“Likewise.” She looks over to give me the “he’s cute” look which I do my best to ignore.

Ash plops onto the seat next to her and leans in to speak quietly, “So, this is probably an annoying question, but do you guys have any secret twin powers?”

“Of course,” she replies and then looks around to ensure no one is eavesdropping, “Telepathy. We can read each other’s minds.”

“Fascinating. What’s he thinking now?”

She looks over at me and squints her eyes. I’m suddenly worried about what she might say to him. As far as she knows, Ash is just a friend from work that I have a crush on and maybe had some weird dreams about. I give her a slight shake of my head and mouth the word, “Don’t.”

She turns back to Ash and says, “He wants me to keep my mouth shut. He’s afraid I’m going to say something to embarrass him.”

“Are you?”

“Probably.”

“Oh, this is going to be fun. I like you. Do you want to team up?”

“Absolutely.”

Fantastic.

I deflate a little at being teamed up with Lex. Don’t get me wrong, I love Lex, but I think a part of me just assumed I’d be with Ash. Seems like a silly assumption now that I think about it, but I’m disappointed, nonetheless.

As Lex takes her turn, Ash and Dawn continue to chat about me as if I’m not sitting right next to them, making me feel more anxious and awkward by the second.

“So, Atlas tells me you’re an artist.”

He glances at me, then back at Dawn with a sly smile, “He can’t stop talking about me, can he?”

“Not for a second. He’s obsessed.” She’s all too happy to play along, probably assuming Ash is fishing for confirmation that I like him or something. She has a tendency to meddle, always thinking I need help when it comes to dating when in reality, I just move at a different pace than she does.

“It’s sad really,” he tells her, “He needs to move on.” He gets up to take his turn as Lex cheers and skips over to me. I look up to see that she got a spare and am about to congratulate her when Ash looks at me and mutters, “We’re just friends, after all,” before he turns to walk away.

My smile falters as the sting of his words rushes through me. I clamp my jaw down, grinding my teeth and feeling foolish. How did I think for one second that changing our environment would somehow ease the tension between us?

I watch as he steps up to the lane, holding the ball in front of him with intense focus before stepping forward and tossing it toward the pins with perfect form, because of course he does. It spins down the lane with such force and precision that every one of the pins crashes down on impact, earning him a strike. He turns to us with bow as Dawn cheers and Lex yells out, “Fuck!”

I had no doubt I’d be the worst bowler out of all of us, but I didn’t expect everyone else to actually be good. I start to feel self-conscious about going up and taking my turn.

I suddenly see the whole night play out in front of me: the tension and passive-aggressive comments from Ash reminding me what an asshole I am, Lex getting frustrated at my lack of skill and being the reason we lose the game, and Dawn being so charmed by Ash that she’s completely oblivious to my misery while she tells him how he gives me butterflies and invades my dreams, only making the tension between us worse, and I wish we’d never come here at all.

“Don’t worry,” Lex pats my knee, “he got lucky. You got this.”

No, I don’t. I don’t want to be here. I don’t want to do this. But I don’t want to be dramatic about it by storming off. I have no choice but to suck it up and get through the night, so I might as well attempt to have fun.

I take a breath and stand to take my turn, picking up the ball and trying my best to focus on the weight of it in my hand to keep my increasingly dark thoughts at bay.

I step forward and toss the ball down the lane sloppily, surprised that it doesn’t slide immediately into the gutter. Instead, it skims the edge and takes out a single pin on the far corner before disappearing.

Normally, I’d make a joke about it, getting overly excited about my one pin, but I can’t bring myself to do that now. It would feel stupid and awkward and forced. I just want to slump back down in my seat and disappear into the background, but I can’t. I have to stand here in front of all of them, waiting for my ball to return so I can throw it one more time, hoping it goes slightly better than the last.

Lex calls me over and I apologize immediately, “I told you I was a terrible bowler.”

She shakes her head, “Nonsense. We will not lose this game, understand?”

“I don’t—”

“Just listen. The problem is, you’re too stiff. You just need to loosen up a little, relax your grip, and make sure not to swing your arm in front of you. You’ve gotta keep it straight.”

“Lex, I don’t think I’ve ever done anything straight in my whole life.”

She snickers and swats at me playfully, “Alright then, at least angle your body a little to compensate.”

“I’ll give it a try.” Her cheeriness and optimism make me feel a little better. I still don’t know why she’s being nice to me after what I did, but I’m grateful for it. I’m realizing that she’s become one of my closest friends over the last few years, and it would be devastating to lose her.

I toss the ball with more intention this time, keeping Lex’s advice in mind. At first, it looks like a nice roll, but in the end, it lands in the gutter, taking the last shred of my self-confidence with it, and leaving my remaining nine pins standing. At least now I can go sit down.

Dawn gives me a smile as she walks by me to take her turn, “You just need to warm up a bit, that’s all.” Right. That’s what I need.

I sink into my seat, staring at my hands when I see Ash out of the corner of my eye scooting closer to me. “I hate when that happens,” he says, “Heading right down the lane, you think you know exactly where it’s going and then, boom, takes a turn and lands in the gutter. Hurts, doesn’t it?’

I look over at him, at his eyes, uninviting and devoid of their usual brightness, and I wonder if this is how things are going to be between us now; I wonder if keeping our friendship intact was as foolish an idea as coming out here tonight. All I can muster is a quiet, “Yeah.” Then, I stand and turn to Lex, telling her, “I’m going to get some air,” and I escape to the nearest exit.

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#ts4 #ts4 simblr #ts4 story #sims 4 #sims 4 storytelling #sims 4 challenge #starsignchallenge #starsignlegacychallenge #gen1 aries #aries pt4 #past #atlas stephens #asher goode #dawn stephens #lex mcphee

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meowpmzai · 1 year

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JEALOUSY AT ITS FINEST. / ft wanderer/scaramouche

Prologe: where your boyfriend gets jealous at the sight of someone being too touchy with you.

WANDERER

Everyone knows that you are in a relationship with him, well atleast most. Wanderer eyed the interaction from afar, it’s not that he wanted to. He’d rather pull you away from the incompetent loser who isn’t worthy to be near you even 1 feet. He huffed out a breath of annoyance.

He hated sharing his personal belongings to others, or either he hated sharing at all. But you can’t blame him, can you? He has lost everything at this point besides you. He crossed his arms in disappointment at the sight infront of him

A man, slightly older than you, hands draped over your shoulder. A sweat bead had formed on the side of your face due to uncomfortable feeling of the stranger being to close to you. He frowned at the weird feeling at the pit of his stomach, unknown to what it is or chooses to believe that.

“Hey, excuse me- thank you for your compliment but I’m already taken” You said, declaring that you wanted nothing to do with the random person beside you. “What? Silly girl, I already knew that!” A giggle made its way out of the persons mouth, shivers running down your spine.

“Ok, then leave me alone” You gently pushed the person off of you, not adding any effort at all. You dusted the dust off of your shoulders and sighed wondering where your boyfriend was. ‘Where is he?’

You thought, slightly worried that this male would do anything to you. But fortunately for you, owning a vision and knowing how to wield a sword does come in handy in these types of situation.

“C’mon love, havin a lil fun like this once in a while ain’t so bad” he walked closer towards you, taking ahold of both of your wrist. And pulling you forward, head on his chest. You tried to pull away but he grabbed you harder “hey let go!” You shouted, hoping to catch the attention of passersby’s.

The random man had dragged you, trying to get you out of the city quick as possible so he can do whatever he pleases with you. Worry was evident on your face, you pulled one of your hands back and summoned your sword, swinging it towards the side of his cheek. It had scratched him, that’s what you wanted.

“You bitch!” He pulled on your hair, making you groan in pain. Finally after what felt like hours, your boyfriend made his appearance. His hands at the hands of the man and threw them off of you. “Wanderer..” ah, that name you’d only call him that if you were emotional or something bad happened to you. But he didn’t need the sudden change of name to see that something bad happened to you.

Your hair disheveled, teary eyed, wrists slightly swollen and red due to events that took place. All of this had pissed him off, he grabbed the male by the collar and lifted him.

“You dare lay a hand on them with these nasty hands of yours? Shall I do the honors of cutting them off.” He spat, he wouldn’t actually cut of his hands well not anymore. He’d just inflict pain onto the man

“W..what!?” The drunk grumbled with a panicked look on him, wanderer had raised a brow. “What, are you that useless you can’t understand anything?” A laugh followed at the end of his sentence, he decided to make this short.

Eyes brightening, a shadow loomed over his face making him more intimidating. “If you are still alive in 3 days, I’ll personally come and find you and once I do I’ll kill you.” He said, half joking. And threw the man down onto the ground

He walked over you and took your hand, leading you away from the man. The small walk was sudden but it came to a stop when he stopped and turned around to face you.

“Sorry I took a while.” He mumbled, whilst rubbing your forehead. You winced in pain but smiled either way. “s’ okay, i just wanna go home now” you assured him, he hummed at that and took your hands once more and began to walk back to your shared home.

IM SORRY IF THIS WAS SHIT, pls request I’m hungry for them. <3

#scaramouche smut #genshin impact smut #genshin x reader smut #genshin x you #scaramouche #wanderer #wanderer smut #xreader #wanderer fluff

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002yb · 9 months

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Hi Toney, I am so happy that you're feeling better, I got a bit worried when I didn't see any new posts from you.

What do you feel about Jason's reaction to Jaybin getting displaced in the timeline and popping multiple years in the future, and suddenly there is Jaybin and all of his barely hidden hero worship and utter love for Dick. And Dick is so good to him, and so smitten and Jaybin is so precious and blushy and two steps away from fainting every time dick hugs him or ruffles his hair, and Jason is so jealous cause dick is being better to Jaybin than he ever was to Jason in the past. But they're both Jason!!

#i am really happy to see you again on my feed #hopefully I'm not coming off as rude #curse you ADHD

Hey there, thank you for your concerns! Though I’m sure it’s apparent, the posting is still lacking – sorry about that. I appreciate that you like seeing my posts come across your dash though. Thank you so much. ( ´ ∀ `)ノ～ ♡

Jason being put off by Jaybin because 1) he’s treated better than Jason, 2) he’s envious of the positive attention freely given to him and 3) Jaybin is stupidly naive and Jason knows there’s only disappointment waiting for him; he’s just waiting to get taken advantage of and hurt.

What’s more, he’s insecure. Because Jason has always had this belief that everyone preferred who he was to who he is. This experience only confirms that for him.

Needless to say, Jason is terse when Jaybin is around. He’s not kind at all; par for course though – it’s him, at the end of the day

And it’s not like Jaybin complains about Jason’s aggression, confused as he is (because wtf happened? why is he such a bitch??), but Dick notices and is none too pleased.

Which leads to dickjay fights as Dick comes to Jaybin’s defense

And Jason just loses it because insecurity gets the best of him. Because he’s convinced that he’s no good as he is. That’s why they’re all always fighting, why Jason is always toeing lines and watching his back. Because he came back wrong – twisted.

Maybe it would have been better if Jason stayed dead. Because they could have kept Jaybin and not been burdened with the scraps that came back.

Maybe Jaybin hears it: ‘We die?’

And Jason snarls, all bared teeth, a wounded animal pushed into a corner: ‘Yeah, because you were looking for something you’ll never fucking have,’ and despite himself Jason’s voice breaks because, ‘Family. Love. Grow the fuck up.’

What’s to love? What’s to want?

Just Jason being so cruel to his younger self because he hates how dumb he was. But also? He hates how easy it is for Jaybin to trust and love and be loved. Because Jason doesn’t have that. Not anymore.

And Dick is ready to intervene. He doesn’t know if he wants to snap at Jason for being so cruel to a child (himself!) or if he wants to comfort him because Jason is wrong about his perceived lack of value/worth, but also? He wants to throw down because this dumbass – projecting his own feelings over Dick’s. But then again, reevaluating everything because maybe Dick (and everyone) haven’t been as forthcoming or forgiving as they should have been.

So Dick ends up being paralyzed because Jason is volatile and Dick can take him in a fight, but that’s the thing – he can’t fight him in light of Jason’s despair. He doesn’t know how to comfort him though. Doesn’t know how to– fuck. Doesn’t know how to love him.

A devastating realization that takes the fight right out of him.

But it’s fine, because Jaybin is there to throw down. With that ornery brand of kindness that is uniquely Jason. Just Jaybin being able to read Jason because they’re the same. Because Jason hasn’t changed as much as he thinks from back when he was fifteen and hurting.

Something something Jason’s vulnerabilities being exposed by himself. A weird therapy of sorts with confronting past and present.

Which eventually leads to dickjay. In the form of one of the Jasons blurting out about their crush on Dick and that’s when everything stops because uh oh. Both Jasons turning with matching blushes and flustered expressions at where Dick stands off to the side, wide-eyed and overwhelmed because there’s just a lot going on, y’know?

And yeah, eventually Jason reconciles with his past self. Maybe Jaybin would get a kiss from Dick before Jason ever gets a chance and Jason is left blustering because why the hell is he such a cheeky little bitch, omg. ///A/////

Which leaves Dick and Jason with the fallout of everything. And Jason doesn’t want to do any of it; forget it. Only Dick won’t leave it alone. No attention would be given to the crush, but Dick would make sure Jason knows that he’s loved. And he’d make better efforts in showing it. And being more understanding to Jason’s perspective; being in his corner.

During which time Jason falls in love a lot more because he’s so weak to kindness. And Dick’s heart breaks because it’s not anything at all (only it is and he knows that now).

Something something slow burn healing of relationship which leads into a tentative friendship which leads into a strong partnership and eventually that undying crush gets addressed lol.

#dickjay

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misty--nights · 3 months

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And finally, episode 8. This rewatch has been fun. It really forced me to pay attention to the details and I’ve found so many interesting thing I’d missed before. I think by now it’s more than safe to say that this has become one of my absolute favorite shows, and I can’t wait for my brain to insist I should watch it yet again.

Edwin's reaction feels so fair to me. I also did a double take the first time I saw Crystal swallow the memories. Love that Charles is trying to be supportive and stuff, but I agree with Edwin on this one. Those things are so big, how is your first instinct to swallow then whole?

Charles' face when Crystal is explaining her name is kind of similar to the one he has in episode 3 and 5 when Niko is doing something amusing. It's a mixture of endeared and a little baffled that I find so charming

Can Esther understand Monty in crow form or is she just pretending to have conversations with him like how you do with pets? Honestly, I'm not sure which one would be better. Both options have a lot of potential

Someone please give Crystal a hug. Or two. The way her voice breaks when she's talking to her parents, how her eyes get dimmer and dimmer the more she realizes that they suck and didn't miss her, how she sounds when she tells the boys about it, ugh. It breaks my heart

Back to another intro detail, but doesn't the surface of the mirror the skelletons go through kind of look like the mirror Charles sees himself in in episode 7. Like the frame is different, but the surface with the grid lines reminds me of the one in hell

I love the rooftop scene so much. Edwin and Niko have such a precious friendship and I wish we had even more of them interacting. Now I know I've seen people mention how Edwin is so comfortable with Niko's touch and how ge lets her cuddle up to him in that scene. But also, up until this point we haven't seen him truly iniciate touch with others (besides Charles) but he bumps Niko's shoulder when he's joking about Monty and offers her his hand to take. I just think that's neat

Crystal looks tiny next to Niko when they're talking to Jenny

"The whole thing was such a mystery" and "no rest for the wicked". The tone the officer uses for these lines? Chilling. I'm telling you, there's something weird about the people in town at times and the Port Townsend police are walking a line btween purposefully useless and downright sinister

There's something to be said about Crystal offering to wipe Jenny's memories, if she wants. We've followed her the whole season trying to get her own memories back, so it's huge that she's willing to take someone else's if that could help. Because she cares about Jenny, in that same, quiet way that Jenny cares about her and Niko. Also the way she emphasizes that she can take the memories only if Jenny wants that is actually so important to me

For some reason I always assume the girls are going to hold hands in that scene where they're looking for the Cat King and Crystal gives Niko her cleaver back. Even though this is the third time I watch it, I always expect it, and I'm always a little disappointed when all Crystal does is change what hand is holding her own cleaver

Not to question old dark magic or anything, but I am so curious as to how Esther's snake works. Did she already have the snake? Did she find it and make a pact with it? How does it transform little girls into youth for Esther? Also, the Cat King calls it Esther's snake, but then later on Esther says "I never thought I'd be eating kids to stay young and beautiful" so I don't know. Many questions about this

Tragic Mick makes a point of saying the bear figure is a gift and is on him, but the girls very much leave the store without paying for the salt so... Two gifts?

Niko keeps insisting she's not brave, but she was ready to charge into Esther's house after hearing Edwin's scream

Litty and Kingham's coats in the igloo have a dandelion decoration on the chest

#dead boy detectives #edwin payne #crystal palace #charles rowland #niko sasaki #esther finch #monty finch #monty the crow #jenny green #the cat king #tragic mick #litty and kingham #my writing

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sirenscriptures · 3 days

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hey! we need to talk.

well hello again!! i hope you’re all doing well. i feel like it’s been a minute since i’ve actually spoken to anyone on here.

as some of you may or may not have noticed, i’ve been pretty absent on this blog lately. at least, more than i usually am. i haven’t posted any writing in well over a month which is a little out of character for me. i’ve had quite a few writing blogs on here and i can’t really recall a time where it’s been that long without me posting at least a drabble.

in my time away from this app and from fic writing in general, i’ve realized a couple things changing about myself + my attitude towards this place in general.

honestly, i’ve come to the conclusion that i don’t really get the same satisfaction from writing on here as i used to. it could be due to the lack of feedback from the general public on here, or really just me admitting that i don’t want to write for pre-existing characters/storylines forever. let’s settle it as a mixture of both!

and don’t get me wrong, i still enjoy fanfiction writing. i adore the community here and the people i’ve had the privilege to meet even through the littlest moments. it’s made me not only a better creative, but also just better in general.

i’ve just been doing this kind of thing for so long (really since i was in 1st grade mapping out my first warrior cats fanmade storyline and oc), and i think between that, and all of these more mature/explicit writing blogs i’ve had in the past 4-5 years, maybe i’ve just grown tired of ALWAYS resorting to fanfiction.

i’ve always wanted to create something that is truly mine, and i feel like i’ve been sort of “limiting” myself this whole time in a weird way. a part of me knows it isn’t true, since this has been pretty expansive for my creativity. and it’s an art form that, in my opinion, doesn’t get anywhere near enough credit for all of the thought that goes into it. i mean, you have to be pretty damn creative to be able to write multiple descriptions of sexual penetration in the same oneshot that actually sound good, and don’t sound like they were ripped straight out of booktok. just saying! (that was a joke please don’t kill me)

anyways, this is getting to be way too long of a post for something so unimportant LMAO.

to get to the point, i’m not going to be active on this blog much longer. i’m probably going to post my final works in these next few months (possibly a few fics for my feeble attempt at a kinktober, and maybe a few for my bday month in december).

and just to clarify, this is in no way me saying that i’m leaving tumblr for good after those few months are up. this is also not me saying i’m quitting “fanmade” creative works forever. i still love writing a good fic and making fan art from time to time!

in the hopefully better part of this news, i have been planning out my art account for when i feel this blog has run its course and i’ve made everything i need to make. i probably won’t announce it publicly, but for those who want it when that time comes, i will definitely make sure you get the url. as usual, mooties get first pickings when that time comes <3

i don’t imagine this will disappoint many people since i’m not really “leaving” but who knows. i’m not expecting many people to even read this far or even notice if i’m here or not lol. i just didn’t want to deactivate out of the blue since that wouldn’t make sense for me to do.

even though i’ll still be on this blog for a few more months, i want to thank you all for giving me a space to grow and express myself. not just as a creative, but as a person too. this sounds really stupid and corny but i mean it. sure, i’ve never made record numbers on here, i’m not the most popular, but i can say without a doubt i have a wonderful group of people around me on here. even if we never meet in person, or if we never interact again outside of this blog, all of you on here will always be somewhere in my memory and i will always be so grateful for you since you made me feel like i was good enough to be seen. even if it was for my shitty smut fics. <3

i love and appreciate every single one of you. let’s have a great last few months on here, ok?

vlynn

#important.#just a little something. thank you in advance if you read the whole thing <3 #𓆩⟡𓆪 — siren’s song

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love-yourself-first-tfw · 2 years

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Hard to Love - Part One

Pairing: MOC!Dean/Demon!Dean x Reader

Prompt: While dating Dean, he gets more and more reclusive toward you when he is given the Mark of Cain. Unable to handle the behavior, you leave but some part of him isn’t willing to let you go.

Word Count: 3883 :)

Warnings: Angst, Break-Up, Violence, Demon!Dean, lots of tears.

Author’s Note: I had this saved as a draft from the end of 2016, unfinished so I tried to finish it as well as I could. It just came out like word vomit but I’m not sure how much I like it. I tried my best to make it gender neutral so if there are any mistakes, please let me know!

Part Two

You noticed that when you were lying in bed, he had his back towards you, almost falling off the bed to get away from your presence. Unable to reach out and touch him in fear of rejection, you continued to stare at his Henley-covered back, watching his steady breaths.

"Dean? Is everything okay with us?" The question sounds weird, a lump pushing into your throat, uncomfortably. He answered with a grunt, nothing else, keeping with his recent code of silence toward you. A dejected hum leaves your lips.

Turning on your back, looking around the room at all the items -- with some of you sprinkled in-- that make it your shared room. Wringing your hands together as you think about where you can go, you can’t stay here anymore, not like this. You want to help him but how can you when he doesn’t even want to be near you?

Something had changed in the last few weeks. He wouldn't look at you, let alone talk. He wouldn’t shut up with Sam and Cas, though.

Maybe the hours of silence with me drove him to talk to them.

Dean is only close to you when you are in Baby, driving to a hunt. Not holding your hand anymore but instead gripping the wheel, knuckles turning white, not sparing a glance at you. You’d gone as far as changing the music, to a pop station nonetheless, in the middle of one of his songs, hopeful of a reaction.

Yell! Look at me with disgust! Do something, please!

But par for the course, Dean does nothing. He stares at the road, unmoving and silent while Sam and you stare at him in disbelief. The tears well up as you look at the horizon to your right, trying your best to not break in front of either man. Trying to understand what you could do differently.

You stop sitting up front. You don’t talk to him. You avoid him at the bunker. You respond with little-to-no passive-aggressive comments when Dean talks to you through Sam. You keep your crying to the bathroom and shower, alone.

You knew the Mark would change him but not like this.

He kissed you last week after a rough hunt, a close call with a witch causing a teeny moment of intimacy between you two. Both of you pulled away with wide eyes: yours in shock and his in... disappointment? He walked ran away before a talk could be had, disappearing somewhere in the main area, while you went to take a shower; a habit forming.

No matter what you try he just keeps pulling away.

Do I keep trying?

I can get my things together and leave by the next hunt. Dean won’t stop me if I want to stay home.

Home. The thought made it so much more real. This is your home; Dean is your home. You take a sharp breath through your nose, trying not to make too much noise as you got up, going somewhere the breakdown won’t bother Dean.

When Sam comes up to you in the morning, letting you know that there’s a possible ghost in the next town over, an easy salt and burn. You sniffle for effect as you tell Sam that you’re not feeling the greatest, watching his eyes drop in sympathy.

He throws his arm around your shoulders, leading you back toward your bedroom.

“You shouldn’t be up then, dude. Go lay down, I’ll bring you some medicine before we leave, and I’ll tell Dean you aren’t coming. I’m sure he’ll want to see you.”

You don’t need to look at Sam to know he doesn’t believe what he’s saying but you thank him regardless, feeling guilty about what the future will be. A hug in the doorway, tighter on your end than usual, ends when he pulls away and helps you back into bed.

Sam comes back with some pills and a cup of water, ice clinking against the glass, with each stride. “Do you need anything else?”

With the blanket tucked under your chin, you shake your head. “No, I’m good. I’m just gonna sleep it off and if it gets worse, I’ll text you, okay?”

“Okay, I hope you feel better soon, (Y/N/N), and don’t beat yourself up about Dean. He’s not doing well with the Mark; he still loves you.”

You close your eyes and turn your back to him after you nod to his comment, trying to hint that he’s good to leave and that if he stays, you’d rather not talk.

“Thanks, Sammy. I love ya.”

“Love you too, (Y/N).”

The click of the door shutting follows the flick of the light switch. And more tears. Silent and steady as you listen and wait for the departure that begins the end of life as you know it.

Exhausted from the last few days of one-sided fighting, you try to fight off the sleep that takes over, but you slip under just as the hall light spills in when Dean peaks his head past the door frame.

It’s a few hours later when you wake up to a text from Sam, they’ve made it to the cozy town, and he will let you know when it’s done or if they have any problems. You let him know you feel better before wishing them luck on the hunt, getting up, and beginning the process of mission: Disappearing (Y/N).

With a sigh, you start going through the knick-knacks that you’ve collected over the years, sighing again when you realize that all things will just remind you of him. Anger flares within you, the white-hot rage of your hand being forced, the whole situation out of your control.

Leaving the small things and just grabbing your clothes from the closet, looking around the room for anything that could be useful on the trip. No mementos to save. You slam the door on your way out, going to your old room next, going through the same routine as before.

Two filled duffel bags sit in the back seat of your car when you finish, mostly clothes and things you’d brought with you when you moved into the bunker. Not running around anymore, the rush of adrenaline begins to fade turning into more anger.

“Why!? I don’t understand?!” You hit the steering wheel with your palms, letting out a scream that transforms into an ugly wet, wail.

A note laying in the war room, on the map table, explains why you left, addressed to Sam, in a last effort to be heard or at the very least get the last word. Your phone is on top of the note, showing the seriousness of your actions.

Sam,

Maybe we will see each other on the road again but I can’t stay somewhere I’m clearly not wanted. I’m sorry for lying to you and not saying goodbye in person. I don’t think I would’ve gone otherwise. Love ya, dude. Tell jerk face that I’ll always love him even if he has that mark on his arm, if he becomes a demon, or if he hates me. Always.

I hope the best for you in the future.

Goodbye,

(Y/N)

You wipe your nose with your sleeve, lifting your head from the steering wheel to embark on the journey to a new home.

In just a few months, you are settled in your new apartment in Colorado, taking a break from hunting to get familiar with the area. Neither Dean nor Sam gets into contact with you, whether that’s not wanting to or for lack of trying, you don’t know.

With a new job in a library in town, you try to get past the guilt that sweeps over you every now and then, reminding yourself of the way you were treated. Of why you left in the first place.

Unlocking the door after a long Monday of reshelving books, the silence of the apartment is disturbed by your keys going into the bowl next to the coat rack. You slip your shoes off before sliding your jacket off and onto the rack, turning to the living room and shouting in shock at Dean, who is standing, arms crossed, in front of the couch.

“What the hell? Why are you in my house?”

“Why do you have a devil’s trap in your living room?” He smirks, a glint in his eyes that makes the hair on the back of your neck stand up. “Seems like you were expecting someone.”

You put it there when you moved in, taking a page from Bobby’s book by using invisible blacklight paint. Decided that while one is useful in front of the door, the living room was also easy to run through if caught off guard, with no door to slow you down, and no one expects it there.

Looking him over again before answering his question, his face is thinner than when you last saw him, hair gelled in a way that looks unnatural for him. His dark red button-up hangs loosely on his body.

“For this reason. Though I can’t say I expected you to be stuck in it. Who killed you?”

“Metatron. Though to be fair, I did try to kill him first.” You hum as he tries-- and fails-- to sit on the couch. “You couldn’t have made this any smaller, huh?”

The smirk on his face only grows as he feels irritation roll off of you. “What do you want, Dean?”

Now it’s his turn to look you up and down, wetting his lips before speaking. “I can think of a couple things.”

You roll your eyes and make your way to your bedroom.

“Oh, c’mon. I was just joking, sweetheart!”

You ignore his words and change into comfortable clothes before dialing Sam’s number, deciding that letting him know was better than waiting for any more of Dean’s antics.

“Hello?”

“Sam? It’s (Y/N). Dean just showed up at my house and got stuck in a devil’s trap.” You sigh, rubbing your forehead.

Another shout from the living room brings tears to your eyes, the love of your life so close but so far at the same time.

“Just wanted to talk to ya! You gonna leave me out here alone?”

Sam asks for your address, giving you the details of what had conspired in the last couple of weeks: Dean dying and being turned into a demon, then bolting and teaming up with Crowley-- doing only God knows what around the country-- meanwhile Sam is doing everything he can to find and cure his brother.

“I’m not too far from you but I’ll still be awhile. Like...” he pauses, taking a deep breath, “maybe seven hours. I’m sorry I can’t get there sooner.”

“It’s okay, I’ll keep him here. I can’t say he’ll be in a happy mood when you get here.”

“Well, he won’t be happy to see me anyway, so it won’t matter. Thanks for the heads up though. I’ll let you know when I get there.”

“Okay, see you soon, Sam.”

With a deep breath, you slid out into the hallway, building up the confidence to make yourself visible to Dean.

“You can do this. Make your dinner and ignore the living, breathing, talking, statue in the middle of your apartment.” Nodding to yourself, you walk out with your chin up.

“There you are!”

Dean’s eyes follow you past him and the couch as you move to the kitchen. Keeping busy with the leftovers, you avoid making eye contact with Dean, brushing his announcement off with silence. When you put the plate of chicken and rice into the microwave, your focus drifts from the timer counting down to those vibrant pools of green, ominous black hiding behind them.

His eyebrows raise up in amusement, “You lose. Are you going to talk to me now?”

“How ‘bout no.” You cross your arms, scoffing at the question.

“You just did, baby. Now just hear me out, you said you’d still love me as a demon, but this doesn’t feel like love to me.”

He chuckles darkly at the end of his words. His demeanor changes: eyebrows pulling down, eyes darkening, and a sneer coming onto his lips.

The microwave beeps, pulling your attention away, though your words slip out before you can think about it. “I do still love you, jerk face.”

It’s not a secret or a lie, you just didn’t want to say it aloud. It had been peaceful dissociating from all that and using every waking moment to adjust to the new way of living without him, not knowing if he would ever come back.

The plate hits the counter harder than you mean for it to, tears stinging your eyes again. “What do you want from me, Dean? I left so you wouldn’t have to feel guilty about whatever the fuck you felt guilty about. You didn’t want to explain it to me then, what do you possibly have to say now?”

A split second of shock passes Dean’s face before it’s back to anger. He opens his mouth, but you cut him off before he can say anything, pulling the silverware drawer open and grabbing a fork.

“No, seriously. I. Don’t. Care. There really is no fucking excuse for what you put me through. So, unless you want to say sorry-- which I highly doubt, considering the black eyes rolling around back there-- shut up.” You slam the drawer: the loud noise and rattling of metals end your shouting. Taking a deep breath and beginning to eat, your back turned away from him, with a tiny, fragment of hope he actually listens.

He blows a raspberry, “Well, that’s where you are sorely mistaken. I’m sorry for what the numb nuts did to you. To think, I could’ve had you from the beginning if he’d just said a few words to you now and again.”

Your chewing stops as the food becomes a rock in your mouth, no longer able to swallow as you listen to him. Staring ahead at the balcony door as he continues spewing words at you.

“Instead of all the cheap whores in dingy bars, I could’ve had you. Waiting on little ole’ me.” It’s clear from his tone that he is mocking you, taunting your words. Even though the relationship is over, the words make your chest twist uncomfortably, your watery eyes finally spilling over.

“Whatever, have fun out here by yourself.” You leave the half-eaten meal on the counter, not sparing a glance at the man as you pass him to go to your room, keeping your head down to hide the tears that stream down your face.

Slamming the door, shoving your face in a pillow, and screaming to relieve the stress of the situation, only helps bring more cries out of you. You know it’s not the Dean you knew talking to you but the twisted and dark version, wanting what he wants with no care about who it may affect.

The darkness of your eyelids fluttering takes over you as you fall asleep to Dean’s calls to you. A dream of your life from before fills your head, one more moment with Dean that you can hope to forget when you wake.

You jerk awake when your phone buzzes from a text, the vibrations magnified by the wood of the side table. Two texts from Sam illuminate the screen.

From Sam: I just got into town I’ll be there in twenty minutes.

From Sam: Just got to your apartment. You get my first text?

To Sam: Sorry, fell asleep. 2C. Door’s unlocked for you.

From Sam: I’ll be up there soon.

When you take a moment to listen, it’s completely silent. Panicking at the thought that Dean was able to get away before Sam and you could cure him, you rush to the living room. Dean stands still, glaring at you as you appear from the hallway.

His lips are drawn into a sneer as he snarls, “how nice of you to come to see your guest.”

The door opens as he ends, catching his attention, a scoff comes from him when Sam comes around the door.

“I told you to fuck off, Sam. I don’t want you to be cured.”

Sam just shrugs, putting the duffel bag on the couch, and unloading some tools to get Dean back to the bunker with little to no issues.

“Dean, you told me that you’d leave (Y/N) alone. So, what’s that about? Tired of the demon life?”

Sam motions to you, hair crumpled from the impromptu nap, eyes, and nose red from crying. “You’ve been bar hopping for weeks on end, new people in your bed every night. Your freaking wet dream. Why are you here, ripping open an old wound, on someone who clearly doesn’t want shit from you?”

“I saw you. You were at the bar in town, with some others, didn’t even notice me when I sat down at the bar top-- can’t say your observation skills were ever the best anyway.” Dean eyes you as he speaks, watching your jaw clench at the small dig toward you.

“And then I get a call from some dude about how he caught Sam and if I wanted him back alive, I’d have to switch places with him, I told him to fuck off and came here instead. Looks like you made it alright, didn’t ya, Sammy?”

“Yup, just like always.” He puts his good hand on your back, steering you towards the kitchen.

“What the hell, seriously, Sam? What happened?”

Sam leans against the countertop, his chin resting on his chest as he takes a deep breath. You reach into the freezer for a bag of peas, wrap it in a towel, and press it to his black eye, letting him hold the makeshift icepack when he winces.

“He pulled up when I was stranded on the side of the road, I thought he was going to help but he knocked me out and brought me to an old barn, maybe?”

His head drops, no longer making eye contact with you.

“He called Dean and then when Dean hung up, he just went off.” Mocking the man who had tortured him only a day before, Sam’s voice lowers comically, “He killed my father in front of me...Two tours in Iraq in Special OPS...blah blah blah. Then he hit me a bunch, trying to get Dean’s location.”

Two tours in Iraq? Special OPS?

His pause allows you to ask your next question of many, “how did you get away?”

“He got a phone call and when he pulled his phone out, his knife fell from his pocket, and I just got out.”

A twinge of doubt and anxiety spread through you, the words “that seems too easy” on your lips after he explains. He finally looks back at you, seeing the questioning expression on your face.

“What? Why are you looking at me like that?” He lowers the frozen peas when you make your way to the living room again.

“You mean to tell me that a solider, not just any ol’ solider at that, special OPS who served two tours in Iraq and he just dropped a knife, that let you get away?”

As if to emphasize your point, the whole house goes dark. You reach the bookshelf behind Dean, both men watching you. The few beats of silence are broken when the front window breaks, a canister rolling onto the floor behind the couch, spraying a thick, white cloud of smoke.

It reaches Sam first, harsh coughs coming from him as he yells for you to get to the backyard. Feeling the wall by the bookcase, you find the string taped to the wall that will break the seal when pulled. Feeling your eyes water, nose and throat burning, you tug the string with you as you move toward the back door, breaking the trap’s seal, and releasing Dean.

The smoke impedes your vision, your hip catches on the corner of the couch making you stumble to the floor, and more coughs force their way up through your lips.

Arms encircle your waist, and harsh whispers come over your shoulder, “Jesus, your life is in danger, and you release the demon, how sickening.” He helps you to the fresh air that burns when you greedily suck it down.

Dean’s support leaves your body, your knees hitting the moist grass that seeps through your sweatpants. When you open your eyes, you have to blink past the tears to see Sam lying next to you and Dean in front of you. An unknown voice speaks to Dean, emotional and hate-filled, “You remember me?”

“Yeah, you’re the guy from that thing.”

“We talked on the phone. This is payback.”

The two men begin to fight, Dean doesn’t even try to pull punches, continuing to belittle him, yelling coming from Cole with every hit that he takes. Sam moves, waking up from a hit to the head, eyes meeting yours before flitting to Dean. Dean taunts and throws the man’s gun to the side, winking at you before he turns back to the fight.

“...spitballing here, but maybe you’re not as good as you think.”

A pause from Dean before he laughs. “Ooh,” Dean’s hands go up in a fake surrender wave, “You know kung-fu?”

“I know everything.”

Dean gets into Cole’s face after quoting The Princess Bride, making his first mistake as Cole slices his face with his knife. Going to stab, only angering Dean more when he grabs Cole’s throat.

“You have no idea what you walked into, do you?”

“What are you?”

Knowing Dean’s eyes are black at the expression on Cole’s face, you close your eyes, hearing the rest of the fight and Cole egging Dean on to kill him.

“I changed my mind, I guess.” Dean chuckles before he breaks out in a hiss.

“It’s over! Stop.”

You open your eyes and see that Sam has managed to get the Devil’s trap handcuffs on Dean. A murderous look on Dean’s face, staring up at Sam from his knees. Sam ignores his brother’s glare, looking at you as you sit back on your heels. “You okay, (Y/N/N)?”

You nod, watching Sam force Dean into the back of Baby, unable to take your eyes off Dean, who continues to kill Sam with his unblinking, scowl.

Sam helps you up, keeping an eye on Dean so he can’t escape. “You can come with us. I’m giving the first blade to Crowley and I’m going to try to cure him. I don’t know if it’ll work but I’m hopeful.”

You look back to your house; in the scuffle to get Dean, neither you nor Sam see where Cole flees to-- the feeling of safety and home lost, now that the invasion is over.

Sighing, you wrap your arms around yourself, nodding and speaking softly, “yeah, let me just grab a couple of things and I’ll be down. You might need some help with him.”

Looking back at Dean, you speak again, unsure how firm the words are. “I’ll stay until he’s cured but after that, I’m gonna go.”

Part Two

#demon!dean #xreader #dean winchester #Sam Winchester #dean x reader #dean winchester one shot #dean one shot #mark of cain #from my drafts #dean winchester x reader #part one #angst #dean winchester angst #dean x reader angst #dean x reader fluff #dean x #nonbinary #no gender just vibes

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the-passenger-if · 2 years

Note

If you hug Roach after the gas station situation, is that the start of Roach realizing that Newman likely isn’t the same being they were before and the beginning of their regret of trying to sell Newman out? Really curious at what point Roach was like “oh no, mistakes have been made”.

combining it with

Playing the game again after the Roach reveal definitely makes you notice things you missed before or hit differently a second time around. I’m curious, if you played a high humanity Newman and in a relationship with them, how quickly did Roach go from “revenge” to “oh no, I’ve made a mistake”. 👀

and

Was Roach disappointed that Newman didn’t bite the dust at the gas station or were they already starting to have second thoughts? Did they feel bad about Nico or was Nico the sacrificial lamb? Did Roach even know what form the hunter would take? How did they even make contact?

also with

How did Roach even make contact with Tzr’nekre?

and with

When going to the lake outside the ranch, did Roach join you not because he’s a busybody like Newman declared, but because he was worried about Newman being out on their own? (At least if you’re in a relationship/have high friendship?)

and

When Roach says they stood in front of Newman and they (Newman) didn’t react (during the spying), was that when they met at Hellbender’s or before then? Did Roach look different? If it was at Hellbender’s is that why Newman felt spooked in the alleyway (given that they can’t always sense Roach and it would have been a good stab moment)?

How quickly did Roach change plans from “quick stab” to “get close enough to find out what’s hunting them and betraying them”? And how fast did Roach come to regret that choice (if they end up liking or romancing Newman)?

also with

Did Roach have have any doubts about the plan when they were waiting for Newman to be lured to the gas station? Did they watch the fight or were they really hanging out in the bathroom? Could they hear or feel Newman struggling? Do they feel bad about Nico?

I’d say Roach began having doubts about their revenge plot after arriving at Ranch 48 and spending time in close quarters with a friendly/romanced Newman, but the moment they realized they truly fucked up was when Tzr’nekre attacked them near the lake. Here’s the face of someone who regrets what they did. When Newman disappears while fighting Tzr’nekre, the other shoe finally drops for Roach. Thinking Newman had been eaten made them panic.

If your Newman takes Jonny up on his offer, Hellbender’s is the first time they meet face to face. If your Newman decides against it, Roach tails them when they go buy beans to the store, but meets Newman for the first time at the gas station at the end of CH1. Oh, and yeah, that weird out feeling Newman got in the alleyway was Roach staring at them from afar.

They made contact with Tzr’nekre after having the chat with Newman at the end of CH1 and the start of CH2. They kept, let’s say, firing metaphysical flares until they felt something big and scary coming their way–they also didn’t have to try for a long time since Tzr’nekre was relatively close after Newman made the truck disappear.

When they sold Newman out back at the gas station, they didn’t know how Tzr’nekre was going to enter Earth’s dimension, they only knew it was big, hungry, and terribly pissed. Their passing comment about Nico is sincere: they didn’t know the kid was going to get caught in the crossfire and they would have preferred that not to be the case. Shit happens tho.

They waited for everything to be over locked in the restrooms, feeling and following both Newman’s and Tzr’nekre’s essences like someone listening to a baseball match through the radio. When they realized Tzr’nekre wasn’t going to devour Newman, they got so mad they made the light bulb in the backroom explode. Obviously, the mask was back on before exiting the restrooms.

#ask #spoilers #tp roach

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the-siren-in-your-fridge · 1 year

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as a fellow gender expansive person [and being intersex meself], who has been reading the wheel of time, I have thought about this, and I have investigated it deeply.

To put it quite simply, robert jordan did not know trans or intersex people existed when he built the world of the wheel of time. The way gender works in that universe is so painfully and pervasively binary that it's actually a little unsettling when I think about it for long enough, that there was a time where some people in our world really believed humanity was like this [though I don't know if he himself thought so]. Even the soul is gendered in the wheel of time, and the "channeling limb" is a part of it.

How I would change it would sound subtle on paper but truthfully it would change a major aspect of the tone of the books, and the worldbuilding: I would simply make the nature of one's "channeling limb" an inherited sex-characteristic, along with all the other gendered powers in this universe. This would essentially bring the gendered aspects of the magic system[s] in this world in line with our modern, scientific understanding of sex and gender, and open the door for the existence of trans, intersex, and nonbinary people, without completely removing it from the setting entirely. It would mean there would be a fraction of channelers of a specific half of the power, who appear, present, and maybe even identify as a gender other than the majority of their type. Spicier still is it would also mean that, very rarely, if one follows the logic of the "channeling limb" as a sex-characteristic, that there would be individuals who can channel both halves of it, whether separately or at once. Whether or not these people would instantly burn themselves out according to the magic system's canon logic remains to be seen. But there are parts of the worldbuilding that would inevitably have developed differently and appear differently than their current canon expressions if this were actually the case in the default Wheel of Time. The present-day Aes Sedai could not possibly be an all-female organization, for example, even though they'd likely be three quarters cis women at least.

I hope dumping this wall of text in your inbox is not an irritation to you. I just stumbled across your post and found you were expressing a sentiment I really sympathized with, as a current-day reader of this series.

I love this idea! I’m only halfway through book four, so I don’t know EVERYTHING about the magic system, (like I don’t know about gendered souls or the channeling limb thing) but based on what I know so far, it’s weird that it’s gendered. I’m glad other people enjoyed my take!

I can’t say I’m mad that a guy who started a fantasy series in the 90s didn’t know about all the nuances of gender stuff because back then he would have had to seek it out, and if he didn’t know any gender spicy people, he wouldn’t have considered it (unless he read Wrinkle In Time, for example, and was intrigued by the Happy Medium or something along those lines form another project). You don’t question the norm without prompt most of the time, especially if it’s presented like a truth if nature that will never change, but it’s still disappointing. And a lot of the men vs women stuff gets on my case soooo badly because outside of it being painfully binary, it’s just annoying after a while. We get it, they hate each other. Even when I remind myself “it’s this bad because a man messed up the male half of the power, it’s a world building thing, it makes a bit of sense” I still get mad.

But this series has some of the most intricate world building I’ve ever encountered so sometimes it seems odd that he hasn’t considered, even a little, spicing up the gendered magic. The story could remain the same if he did what you suggested or even what I suggested in one of my older posts, and making different aspects of the power inheritable would definitely make things more complicated, but also more logical. All natural things have exceptions and the power seems to be, for lack of a better term, a nature thing (seeing as the amount of people with the gene for it is shrinking because of men being gentled). It would also make Rand being the dragon much more important (not just a lucky gene toss up, a near IMPOSSIBLE gene toss up, this is Definitely The Guy) and makes the power much more generally dangerous, because if it’s not a simple male/female split among cis people, novices in the white tower could go insane at random and men who are gentled could have been harmless and the Aes Sedai have shrunk the gene pool even more by accident. It certainly ups the risk factor, and this doesn’t begin to cover non-binary and intersex people, who add to the punnet square of Power Having even more.

(This is assuming I understood what you suggested. It’s like the calico/ginger cat gene? Where most of the time it’s one way but sometimes not? And that doesn’t always mean the cat is intersex? Yay cats)

So yes, gendered magic systems are way cooler if they account for the actual nuances of gender and sex

#wheel of time #wot #gender #gendered magic #magic system #Robert jordan #transgender #trans #non-binary #gender binary #headcanon

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spaceventurer · 2 years

Text

My sweetheart - Corinthian meet-cute.

Pairing: Corinthian x Original Character (Gender neutral)

Summary: I was just planning on going to a local coffee shop with my friend Lila. When I actually arrived, things went different. I met him.

Content/Warnings: Fluff, sad start but quickly forgotten.

Words: 769

Requested: No

I pace around in my room, nervous for a reply from my friend. She agreed to meet up with me today at a local coffee shop, but she seems to be ghosting me. However there's also a chance she's just busy..

After a few more minutes of pacing, I decide that I will go to the coffee shop and I'll see if she's going to show up.

She most likely won't.

A bell chimes announcing that the door has been opened. I walk in, not with a smile, not with my usual cheerful behavior. Instead I greet the barista with a hopeful but sad frown.

“The usual?” He kindly asks. With a look on his face that screams that he didn’t mean it at all, and that it’s just his job to be kind.

“Please.” I mummer softly. Although I’m still sort of expecting for Lila to come, I know she won’t. She’s that kinda friend that is all talk but won’t actually do what she promises.

After having recieved my vanilla iced coffee, I look around the shop’s room for a place to sit down and relax. However it seems to be very busy today, the room is filled with students, friends, lovers and so much more.

I eventually walk over to a place by the window which seems to be empty. So I sit down on the side closest to the back wall, relaxing my back and legs that have been way too overworked by standing so long. Then I look up and suddenly notice there’s a man on the other side of the table, he was hidden behind a divider for privacy. I swear I didn’t see him!

“Oh- I’m sorry I’ll find another place!” I say while standing up from my seat.

“No please, take a seat. I don’t mind.” The blonde says. I nod and slowly sit down and try to relax while sipping my coffee. Now that I am sitting, and actually notice the man that’s sitting right in front of me, I notice how he radiates confidence and also how extremely hot he looks.

I cough lightly while trying to supress the heat that rises to my cheeks. The stranger wears sunglasses, which I must say is weird because we’re inside but I understand he must have his reasons. But oh my lord, he rocks those shades.

“See something you like sweetheart?” The blonde man says smugly. He’s smirking. Oh right, I’m staring-

“Oh- I erm, I’m sorry?” I say while laughing nervously. The man leans forward and smiles,

“Don’t be, I quite enjoy the attention of such a beautiful creature like yourself.” he flirts, shamelessly I might add. This time I can’t stop the blush forming on my face.

“Ah- Thank you, you’re quite handsome yourself.” I admit shyly. He smirks again, he knows what he does to me- He must.

A silence falls, but not that awkward first meeting silence, no. A comfortable silence, as if I have known this man my whole life. The stranger adjusts his glasses and tries to make a conversation start again.

“What’s your name love?” He starts.

“It’s Robin, nice to meet you…?”

“Corinthian.” Oh- That’s a… unique name, it’s certainly interesting. Is it his real name, or just a pseudonym.?

“Is that a pseudonym, or am I insulting your name with that question?” I ask genuinely.

“It’s my given name, yes.” He says seriously. “And no, it’s not biblical.” He adds after I open my mouth slightly to ask exactly that question.

“Does everyone ask that?” I ask rhetorically. “Wow, it must be annoying to have so many questions about just a name.”

“It is.” He smiles. Finding his smile infectious I smile back. It was a true smile, which reminds me of��

“I remember I was actually waiting for someone.. But it seems she didn’t show up.” I say slightly disappointed. Corinthian’s vibe changed real fast.

“Was it a date?” He asks curiously but also somehow.. jealous?

“No, definitely not. She’s an old friend.” I smile politely.

“Ah alright.” He relaxes at that. “Before we part, might I have your number?” Corinthian asks hopefully.

“Sure!” I say happily, immediately giving him my number. He gives his phone and his hand brushes mine while he gives it. Gosh, that made me feel something. Like I am a teen all over again. Anyway, I type in my number and call myself to test if it’s all good. And it is.

I hand over his phone and he thanks me. After that we exchange our goodbyes and I go home, and think about him nonstop.

#the corinthian #the corinthian x reader #corinthian x reader #corinthian x oc #the sandman #sandman netflix #dream the endless #fluff #corinthian fanfic #the sandman fanfic #sandman #the sandman series #the sandman netflix #the sandman season 1 #the sandman tv

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cutest-bunny-writings · 1 year

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hi, i just wanted to say that i’ve been following you for some time and really appreciate the work you’ve put in being inclusive in your writing. you’ve also opened me up to seeing the lived experiences of others. so i hope that i can impart some knowledge to you.

i was very disturbed by the fact that you’d want to bring your poc partner around your racist family as a “got you” moment.

that's honestly very insidious. poc are not pets nor pawns in your ploy to distance yourself from your family and their racism. why would you want to bring them there just so they can feel the disdain of someone not liking them for something they cant change?

it also brings in the question of do you actually love them if you’re willing to subject them to emotional and potential physical harm?

you find it funny to do that? you want to be able to snicker at the looks on your family's faces when right beside you your partner may be looking at you and your family as one in the same?

the question is why would you even be fooling with them if you know they are racist? if you’re really serious about your partner you would make peace with the fact that you may have to cut your family off entirely. never see them again until they do the very real work to become anti-racist. what next you gonna have mixed kids and bring them around those people too?

no self-respecting poc would let you do that to them and in turn their children. the fact that you don't see racism as violence no matter the form it takes is concerning.

it doesn't matter if your family’s racism is explicit or not, that's violence. their ideologies is what makes the status quo complacent in keeping racist systems. your grandma may not say outright she hates us but she shows it in the way she votes or the way she talks about us to her friends behind closed doors which only reaffirms their racism. that spreading hate.

so if you’re not going to do the work to make them anti-racist and instead let them hold those ideologies and determine how society should see us, the least you can do is make sure your partner never actually steps face to face with them. harm reduction is key, especially a choice as easily doable as that. systems take time to dismantle but that individual act is helpful too.

nobody should ever be put in that situation. i'm very disappointed as a reader. and i can’t imagine how the people you call friends on here who are poc happen to feel when you’ve been actively creating community with them. are you gonna use them next to say you can’t be racist?

whether a joke or not, your mindset has had very real ramifications for people's lives. people have lost their lives.

it looks like you still have some anti-racism work to do because this is a very elementary concept to understand. this is so confusing, especially after reading your work unless i’m missing something? maybe you understand those marginalizations better because you live them or had more exposure? but this hurt. i’d be weary to date or even marry someone like you as a poc. you don’t seem to have us in your best interest and need us to serve some ego boost. that's not allyship.

you’re not better than your family, if you continue like this. you’re worse because at least they stand ten toes down about their bigotry but you’re hiding behind yours in this weird facade of progressivism. this isn't progressive or leftist thinking. this is liberalism at its core. what liberation is being made here? besides this weak attempt to liberate yourself from being lumped in as racist? because again it doesn't seem you look to liberate your partner if you're planning to bring them towards danger.

hell the goal is to not be better by rubbing it in your family’s face. it’d break my heart to know my love was being used to anger someone. to anger someone who is not even in the relationship. thats already unhealthy.

the goal it to be better for yourself and the person you claim to want to love.

please don't let this happen again. and don’t run from addressing this or even trying to make excuses for why you thought it was okay to say this.

i’m just really disappointed now. like you think people understand but i guess they don’t. i’m learning to not expect much from white allies anymore. but i try to hold hope. i don’t wanna believe you’re the type to block me and never address this. that you’re okay with not digging through some uncomfortable truths. i’ve never written this much for someone. i care too much. please.

i want to see you grow into the person who’s consistent in the ideologies you claim to uphold. i really enjoy your work as an autistic and poc reader. i want to believe i’m still welcome here.

thank you for listening to me, if you did💖

Dear Anon,

I took down the post, which was originally supposed to be a light-hearted joke and I'm sorry.

I'm not trying to use anyone as a pet or pawn. I live in an area where the white men scream the n-word and call people Jewish as insults (there's other slurs that I don't know how to abbreviate), so I would never want to do that.

As racist as my grandparents are, they would never attempt physical harm, but that doesn't excuse their racism and I can tell you they aren't willing to change because I've tried. (I can explain if you want.)

I also don't want kids in general, but I see your point. If I did have kids, they wouldn't know those grandparents existed because they don't need those backhanded comments about being "too dark" and their hair being "wrong."

I'm also sorry you're disappointed, and I'm not going to use my friends to say I'm not racist because that's not how friends work. Just because you say you're friends with a POC doesn't make you not racist.

I'm not trying to use anyone as an ego boost either because that would be really weird.

I'm also not trying to hide behind a facade of progressivism. I genuinely want to exist at peace with everyone and would ideally like to prove it to small minds (a.k.a. my grandparents).

As for the uncomfortable truths, I know they're there and I do see them; ignoring them is not helpful and only creates more issues.

You are still welcome here.

I am genuinely sorry, please let me know if I forgot to address something.🙏

#answered asks #answer #answered

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ring-h · 2 years

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I love Wednesday Addams (beware: long ass post)

From a personal point of view I grew up with the movies, then the animated show, and I could relate with Wednesday as I liked “weird stuff” (breeding snails, drawing detailed maps for my fantasy universe, staying inside to read for days when the sun was shining) and disliked what people would call “normal stuff” (hugs, going outside, playing with other kids). In the Addams family you feel accepted for who you are, no question asked, and it helped me build confidence. So yes, I love Wednesday Addams.

So I watched the Netflix show. I must say I was a little disappointed that she was sent away from her “normal” high school. The Addams family always shines when compared to what people call “normal”, and the point is basically to show that just because they look different or act different, does not mean that they lack in kindness, values, love etc. But, then I thought, okay we already got that with the movies, so it could be fun to see other outcasts, and that’s where I’m disappointed : what is the need of incorporating sirens, vampires, werewolves, witches ? I understand that there is a team of people thinking about the material before creating it, and that they are studies and that those mythical creatures are quite popular in the marketed audience Netflix was willing to reach with this show, but... It didn’t work for me. I think they missed something.

I can’t care less about the sirens drama. So you can manipulate people with your voice... Yeah... Tough times... The werewolf has difficulties to shift, and...? None of those (very tiny) plot lines did it for me. And they actually could have been more meaningful if they had involved real outcasts.

First of, the werewolf :

Enid is a bubbly creature who loves the sun, hugging her friend, plush toys and radiant colors. She also is a werewolf, but what’s a werewolf but someone who gets angry once a month and has a hair issue ? So instead of a werewolf why not change it for a woman suffering from virilization ? It’s a condition in which female develops characteristics like thick facial hair in the beard or the mustache area, and increase in body hair. It’s more common than we know and when you are a woman with a beard (to put it simply), things are not easy. This is for me what an outcast is. (And she could still have a flashy colored hair !)

Bianca. So she is able to manipulate people with her voice. But what if she was just a teenage girl suffering from alopecia ? Being a women with no hair is tough. What you look like is the first contact you have with people, it’s the first impression they have of you, and people suffer from this. She could also suffer from a severe form of eczema or even psoriasis, with is a skin condition that makes you look like Deadpool's cousin, and is not easy to live with when other kids tell you your skin is dirty, or when people don’t want to touch you because they think it’s contagious (it IS’NT).

(Yeah, I have psoriasis. Not the worst, but not the best either.)

Ajax. Ajax is a gorgon, meaning he’s got snakes on his head. So he’s got a head with other heads on it... What if he actually had a siamese twin ? Or just had some physical abnormality on his head that would make it tough for him among a random high school ?

Xavier is a psychic. Why not make him a guy with a mental health condition ? Why not see what’s the life of a teenager with bipolar disorder ? What it means day to day ? How hard is it to deal with it when in high school ? Bipolar disorder often develops between 15 and 19, it could mean so much for other teenagers !

Eugene, I don’t have a lot to say about him. I liked it. He is the kid who likes insects and stuff and I think it’s was the best character among Wednesday’s friends. (But maybe he could have been suffering from dwarfism, which I assume must be hard to deal with when you reach high school.)

The Thing is my personal favorite as I was called “the Thing” as a child. (Yes, I’m a weirdo.) But I recently learned that the Thing was not always like this : the creator of the Addams family created the Thing as a child/guy hiding in the pictures he drew. You can see them in the right upper corner of the picture:

When Charles Addams drew him, it was only a random hand or nose, and when he was asked for characters when the first TV show was created, he decided to make it a disembodied hand

That picture below actually served as an inspiration for the Thing.

Even if keeping the Thing as it is is really fine by me, they could have played with it... Maybe there could have been a kid at that school with agoraphobia or something, and who would hide. We would only see part of him and he still would help.

So, I love Wednesday Addams. I love the Addams. But I would have liked to see real outcasts, people I or others could relate to.

As for Wednesday, she is her normal self. But maybe she’s got epilepsy, who knows ?

#wednesday #wednesday addams #netflix #outcast #long ass post

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mkextra · 2 years

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It’s kind of nice knowing nobody I know is on here anymore. I like getting back to the void-yelling, indulgent, purgative experience of the internet more than having to be careful bc my family is relentless about following me on socmed.

The biggest changes in my life since 2018 when I last used tumblr are very few. My best friend was diagnosed with cancer, but he’s still alive and mostly well. I dropped out of grad school, which was definitely one of the better decisions I’ve made for my mental health. I got my first gray hairs after taking in my younger sibling (which was a year of pretty much constant heart-attack-level stress, but they’re doing so well now). I got diagnosed with autism, which has been a weird experience (but scrolling back through my tumblr… not entirely surprising). I got a job after being unemployed for a whole year (which sucked) after losing my job at the library bc my contract expired after I lost student status (which also sucked but slightly less than being unemployed). I do legal transcription now, which is actually pretty decent if you’re a hyperlexic cave creature who likes eavesdropping, being alone, and grammar (in that order).

I used to think I’d end up getting big on some website or another, but in all the time I’ve used the internet my biggest hits are usually random comments anyway. Now I’m more relieved than disappointed that I never had a big following bc WOW does that not work out for people. I don’t know why I’m writing all of this down, but I’ve been thinking lately about how I don’t take photos or videos consistently even though I spend way too much time on social media. I don’t journal, either, or even really write, which is why my poetry habit is pretty withered.

I’ll probably forget about this and post something similar in another four years thinking, “Oh, how novel. I’ll try something I haven’t tried before,” even though it’s the same thing I’ve done many, many times before. This is mostly due to extremely selective memory and difficulty forming habits, but also because maybe that’s just how the record of my life is grooved. Same scratch, different part of the album; same distortion, different background noise.

I think the preoccupation is that I want to connect with people so badly, but I also can’t stand the actual logistics of maintaining those connections. Making the connection in the first place is like… wow. And then the middle part goes on forever until it’s the last part, the end part, and that’s the one that’s always on my mind. How am I going to lose this person? Is it going to be painful? (It always is.) I don’t have any big point to make about that, which is also why it’s something that I return to over and over again. That’s just how it is (it sucks) and then it’s not.

Also, I think it’s pretty fucked up how I save all my actual ruminations for when I’m not being witnessed (if someone is witnessing this, no you’re not). I used to want to be a writer. Now, I just want to be like… 30% mostly content more than 0% of the time. I think that means I won’t have the life I imagined I would when I was 18, but even then I mostly imagined it ending abruptly, so maybe I’m on the right track after all.

Idfk. Do your best to turn as many ages as possible, imaginary audience of people. It isn’t awesome, but it’s also not unsurvivably awful most of the time. I need to actually do some work now. I love you all. Drive safe.

#personal #text post #journaling?#I forgot how to use tags for Comedy #but instead I will hide a secret here #I think my biggest fear isn’t being known #it’s being known to my core and still being misunderstood #Spotify

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anonymous-hargreeves · 2 years

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Perfect Failure

Ghost!Ben Hargreeves x gn!reader (platonic)

☆= In which the reader gets a good but disappointing grade on an essay and ghost!Ben Hargreeves comforts her

Warnings: low selfesteem maybe? reader is slightly ADHD coded

Genre: fluff/comfort

Masterlist

The day has already been horrible enough in your opinion. It started right in the morning when you slept a bit too long to get to school on time, which was really frustrating. And after waiting anxiously the whole day for getting that essay back, you nearly cried when you held it in your hand. You worked your ass off for this. Sure, you had started only a week before the deadline, but you invested time for research and writing, while you had to manage everything at home, due to your mother being in the hospital at the given time. And now it was a B+? Only a B+? Your first essay was an A- and while a B+ wasn’t bad at all, it was quite the disappointment.

That all leads to you being at the Hargreeves Estate now, not being able to sit at home in self-pity. Some entertainment, even if it’s in form of the weird fun that Klaus provides. Your mother didn’t mind, the Hargreeves always been close family friends after all. Looking through the house you noticed that Klaus wasn’t home, he would be back surely, so you sat down in the living room, looking around. The room was decorated with art of all sorts, books everywhere, only the most expensive and nice things. Things that overachievers created. People who where good at what they where doing. People who where extraordinary, gifted even. Not like you, you thought. Everything you tried, you did good in the beginning. Never average for being a beginner, but as time comes by you just don’t improve, you stop being better than others at what you were doing.

Not that that’s a bad thing, but it was never enough for you. How could it be enough if you are always stuck in second place? When everything you do is good, but never very good, never perfect? If others would ask you what your talent is, you would answer them that it is to fail. Don’t get me wrong, you weren’t a person who is good in everything. In most classes you had average, maybe good grades, but that didn’t stop you from wanting to be at the very top of the things you were good in.

Frustrated and maybe even a bit angry with yourself, you let out a huff as you threw a pillow across the room, knocking over a probably expensive vase. Not that anyone in the house would care about that. “My, that bad of a day, huh?”, you look next to you, Ben had suddenly appeared on the soft cushion.

“Got that damn essay back”, you frowned, crossing your arms in front of you, “Only got a B+, which is so not fair. The content of my essay was good. Perfect even. I only failed in the other categories, so I failed overall. I am a failure.”

Now it was Ben’s turn to frown. He was no stranger to that attitude of yours, the days you would push yourself past your limits, when nothing was good enough. “Come on now.” He sighed, “Failure? You do know that it’s not true. You did well in that essay.” You huff once more, as if he just had offended you in the most ridiculous way. “Exactly. I did well. Not perfect.”

The ghost was quiet for a second before realizing that this issue was way deeper than just wanting to be good at something. You wanted to be better than others. Like the constant need of surpassing others was bubbling up right inside you. “Y/N, you do realize that you don’t need to be better than others to be good, right? You are perfect just as you are. I know you want to be better than the best, but no matter if you score higher than them or fail something completely, it doesn’t change what you are worth.” You look at him, letting out a small laugh. “Ah, so poetic ghost-boy.” “Y/N! I am trying to be serious!” But he can’t help and has to laugh as well. “You are good enough, you hear me? I mean, even if things are more difficult for you, you always try your best and you still succeed. That’s something you can be proud of.” “You really think so?” “Of course.”

Ben had to smile, his eyebrows slightly raised while looking at you, “Just compare yourself to Klaus. You are extremely gifted next to him.”

You burst out laughing “Ben! So mean!”

#the umbrella academy #umbrella academy reader #umbrella academy klaus hargreeves #umbrella academy #umbrella academy ben #ben hargreeves #klaus hargreeves #reader insert #reader #you #blue’s writing #Ben Hargreeves x reader

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linasofia · 2 years

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Business & Pleasure

Part 6

Summary: After spending the night with Thorin you struggle to find balance between your professional side and private life.

Relationship: Thorin Oakenshield x Fem!Reader (Modern AU)

Words: 4,5K

Warnings: 18+

A/N: This is part 6 of this fic. You can read all the previous parts here.

Special thanks to @legolasbadass for your feedback. 💙💙

”Let’s have a glass of wine.” Thorin holds up a bottle but when I shake my head his dark eyebrows rise in an unspoken question.

”Thorin, I can’t stay the night and I need to be able to drive later. I have no clothes for tomorrow and I will not go to work wearing the same clothes as today. That is the worst walk of shame possible.” I don’t sound too convincing but I try to hold my ground. The disappointed look in Thorin’s eyes makes me falter and I hurriedly add: ”It’s not that I don’t want to, please don’t think that.”

He places the bottle on the counter and walks over to me. I sit, dressed in one of his way too large t-shirts, on the tall bar stool next to the kitchen island, at the opposite side of his grand, but surprisingly homey kitchen. He never bothered to put his shirt back on after our encounter in the bedroom, so he is in his trousers only and I silently blame his well-built body for my weakness. There is no doubt whatever the obscure combat training he and Dwalin do several times a week works. Thorin seems to like wielding a sword or an axe instead of lifting the usual weights at the gym and judging by the shape of his torso and shoulders it’s a heavy and intense form of workout. As soon as he comes close, I can feel the heat radiate from his body and sense the alluring musky scent that is uniquely his.

”I hoped we would be sleeping in the same bed for a whole night, tonight.” he murmurs and a small sting in my heart reminds me of my sudden escape from his hotel room. ”Do you have an early meeting?”

”I don’t, but I have a lot to do, since my boss is so demanding.” I smile sweetly at him and his eyes light up when he gives me a playful grin.

”I thought that was one of the things you like about your boss. I remember clearly that you mentioned the word specifically the first time we met, during your interview.” Thorin rests his large hand on my naked thigh.

”Little did I know exactly how demanding my boss can be.”

”Maybe you would not have accepted my offer to come and work for me, if you did?”

”Probably not.”

”What a shame.” His hand travels higher on my thigh and I bite my lip in an attempt to keep my posture. He knows very well what he is doing and his hand leaves a burning mark on my skin.

”Thorin, I —” I don’t get any further before he silences me with his lips and his fingers dig into my thigh. I need to grab his arm to prevent myself from falling off the stool. He fills the kiss with needs and I yearn for him to touch me more. When he breaks the kiss, he lifts his hand and gently caresses my chin.

”What if your very generous boss approved of your request for coming in later tomorrow? You don’t have to be very late, just enough time to go home, change clothes and whatever you feel the need to do.”

”We can’t make a habit of this—” I try, but Thorin interrupts me again.

”Doing something one time doesn’t make it a habit. I’m not looking to decrease your work ethic, I just want to hold you through the night. Is that so bad?”

If my heart could, it would reach up and slap me in the face. I can feel my body drowning my brain with arguments for staying and eventually my brain surrenders. The sincereness in Thorin’s eyes can’t be missed.

”Ok,” I finally say and my heart flutters at the smile I receive in return.

”Good. Now, where were we? Wine?” He winks at me and this time I nod. Thorin places two crystal glasses on the kitchen island and picks up an opener that has seen better days and is a weird relic in the otherwise modern kitchen. With experienced hands, he opens the bottle and pours some wine. He offers me one glass and then raises his own and smiles.

”To a new start!” When his sensual lips wrap themselves over the rim, I find it as fascinating as I did at the dinner with the board. How someone can drink wine in such an alluring way is a mystery to me. His free hand comes to rest on my thigh again and he caresses it longingly. I spread my knees even further to invite him, but instead of advancing he takes another sip from his glass and pats me. His eyes betray his feelings when he reluctantly pulls his hand away ”I need to feed you something before I take you back to the bedroom,” he murmurs. ”I want you to last a lot longer and for that you need energy.” His words send a shiver down my spine, and he must have noticed how I shudder, for he lingers by my side for just a few seconds. Then he turns his attention to the gigantic side-by-side refrigerator and the large number of cans, boxes and interesting-looking packages inside. ”I think I can offer a decent collection of tapas, if that would please my lady’s taste buds.”

”I will like whatever you offer me.” Two can play that game I say to myself as I hear how seductive my tone sounds. Apparently Thorin hears it too and his eyes grow dark as he turns to me and raises a pointing finger. ”I have told you before to watch that smart mouth of yours. You will end up in trouble if you don’t.” I bite my lower lip before I hide my grin behind the bowl of the glass. He must know by now how much I would like to end up in his kind of trouble.

Soon, many small plates rest on the dining table and even if I had to force my help upon him, it feels good to set the table for two. Thorin, ever the gentleman, holds out my chair for me as I take a seat. His kiss on my neck is brief but his lips and beard create a sweet intoxication. I sigh as he takes a seat on the opposite side of the table. That man will drive me insane.

The food is beyond my expectations and I make no effort to hide how impressed I am over what he accomplished during the relatively short time he was in the kitchen. Thorin has made a wild mix of small dishes and together with olives, cheese and bread it feels like a dinner suited for a queen. Half way through our dinner we talk and laugh like we've known each other privately for a lot longer than we have. When we avoid work related topics, it’s easy to fool the brain into thinking that we are just any man and woman, sharing a meal and enjoying our evening together. Life would certainly be easier if he was not the CEO of Erebor Corporation, or if I did not work there. But I promised myself, as we parted this morning in his office, that I would not let my stupid brain ruin this again.

When most of the plates are empty and only a few drops of wine still rests at the bottom of our glasses, Thorin suddenly stands and takes my hand. ”Come, I want to show you something.” I let him lead me through the large living room and over to the huge window wall. He slides one of the sections open and with my hand still in his I follow him outside. The salty scent from the sea speaks to my soul and it makes me think that Thorin’s house is like a golden eagle's nest, placed high on the black cliffs. At the horizon, the sun bows to give gentle kisses to the ocean and their union sets the sky on fire. I gasp.

”Wow, look at that!”

With a determined look on his face, Thorin guides me over the wooden terrasse, to the most spectacular pool I’ve ever seen. It’s not huge, but big enough to fit a good company of friends. But its placement makes it remarkable. From this side, it looks like the pool hangs over the cliff. I almost don’t dare to look down, for on the other side awaits the vertical steep and far down below, the hard stone meets the merciless sea. The view is even more breathtaking out here and I only partly manage to take in Thorin's explanation of the construction. He seems both pleased and proud of this detail in his own safe haven.

”I think we should watch the sunset from the pool. Let us relax and enjoy…the view.” Thorin purrs my name as he closes the distance between us. The gleam in his eyes makes me uncertain of which view he is actually referring to, but it matters less when he grabs the t-shirt I’m wearing and pulls it over my head. Not used to the total remoteness and lack of neighbours, I cast a quick glance around me and instinctively lift my hands to shield at least part of my body. Thorin catches my wrists and chuckles. ”Relax. Only I can see you, and trust me, I have seen all the wonders Mahal has given you.” His expressive eyes roam my body and the way he follows my body’s curves makes me feel like the most desired woman in the world. I return his smile. How is it possible that someone can be so stern and brooding at work, but so playful, alluring and charming in private? He starts to unbutton his trousers and when he pulls them off together with his boxers, I free myself from my last piece of clothing.

The water is perfectly warm for the season. Not too cold, but not so warm it loses the refreshing feeling. Thorin reaches the far end side of the pool and motions for me to join him. The pool has a built-in seat and we rest against the edge. Once again he pulls me close to him and wraps his arm around me. I lean against his chest, where his wet curly hair looks black like the feathers of a raven. The sun gracefully sets deeper into the sea and when only the last light of the day can be seen over the horizon, Thorin’s hands start to travel over my body. Teasingly at first, but soon more demanding and the feeling of his skilled fingers exploring me in the water, has me whining in his lap before I know it.

***

A soft melody from Thorin’s phone disturbs my sleep but it is not until his lips pepper my face with kisses thatI realize it’s time to wake up. The bedroom is wrapped in darkness. Thorin must have been up during the night and covered the windows, for I clearly remember seeing the moon casting its silver light over the sea before my exhausted body collapsed and I fell asleep, with his arms around me. Suddenly the warm light from a dimmed bedside lamp illuminates the room. A pair of sleepy azure eyes greet me. Thorin’s raspy ”Good morning” together with his unruly hair is almost too much to take in. He leans in and places his lips on mine and I sneak a lazy arm around his neck. How I wish we could stay in bed all day instead of going in to the office. Before the kissing turns into something neither of us would be able to stop, Thorin breaks the kiss. He mutters something about a shower and then rolls away from me, gets up and walks gloriously naked over to the bathroom. His broad shoulders, muscular back and his well-sculpted butt are a delightful sight for my eyes. I quickly decide not to follow him and instead shower at home, where I have my own products and I can get ready for work. Besides, Thorin’s naked and wet body is very distracting. Soon the sound of running water reaches my ears and I close my eyes again for a few minutes rest before I really need to get up. I have slept so well in Thorin’s embrace. Actually the best sleep in a very long time. The memory of our cuddling right before my eyelids fell down like a curtain and the melody of his voice faded warms my heart.

Now that I have the ridiculously large bed to myself, I stretch my body. A small giggle escapes from me when I discover an unexpected soreness between my thighs. The depth Thorin can reach and the girth he is blessed with will let me carry the physical memory of him for hours. The stamina of that man is exceptional and something I have never experienced before. I lost count of how many times he sent me to heaven after dinner last night. Our gentle lovemaking in the pool, with the burning sky and breathtaking view over the ocean, and then, later, a feral and more intense treatment between the luxurious sheets in his bed. My skin still bears marks of his beard and rough kisses.

When Thorin steps out of the bathroom with a towel hanging low around his hips I can’t stop myself from staring at his fine physic. Thorin gives me a dark smile and walks over to me and pulls the duvet from my naked body. ”When you look at me like that, I’m very tempted to reschedule my morning meeting.” He bends down to kiss me but before my hand reaches his towel, he catches it and takes a step back. ”Temptress,” he murmurs before he heads over to the walk-in closet. I rise from the bed, determined to not be the reason for him missing one, most likely, very important meeting. That would be so unprofessional of me.

This morning I discover that Thorin values fresh berries over cereals, and yoghurt without any addition of flavors. We eat in silence, neither of us seem to feel the need for conversation in the early morning. Thorin checks notifications on his phone and I can hear him sigh as he scrolls over the screen. Suddenly he breaks the silence. ”I will leave for a business trip tomorrow with Fili. I wish I could ask you to join me, but I can’t really find good arguments for it. Except for the obvious ones, of course.”

”It’s ok, I’m almost glad you’re not asking me. I have too much to do at the office. How long will you be gone?”

”The rest of the week. I will arrive late in the evening on Friday.”

I try to hide my disappointment and instead give him a daring smile. ”While the cat's away, the mice will play.”

He bursts into a rumbling laughter. ”Yes, that’s what I’m afraid of!”

We finish breakfast and Thorin grunts when he stands to take my plate. His body language tells me that he doesn’t want to leave either.

A few minutes later I sit in my car, following Thorin’s large midnight blue SUV down the road. His goodbye kiss still tingles on my lips and I sigh frustrated at the little fire he managed to ignite in my body by the small act of his teasing hands. Thorin drives fast and I have to focus to keep up on the still unfamiliar road, but before I get too far, I glance at the house in the rear mirror. I hope I will have the pleasure of visiting again soon.

Exactly one and a half hour later than normal, I walk past Dori in the reception and give him my usual smile. He nods back at me, but I don’t miss the surprised look in his eyes. He once told me that few people are more punctual than me in the morning and that he could easily set the time on his old pocket watch after me. That is a huge overestimation, of course, but I get his point. I like my morning routine and since the traffic is not too bad from where I live, I usually arrive at the company’s large garage just before eight o’clock.

In the elevator I check my appearance one final time. Hair in place, makeup is fine and clothes look like I’m ready to conquer the world. If I look closely I can see a small pink mark on my neck. It almost looks like a rash, but I know whose beard caused my skin to blush like that. I smile at my own reflection as the signal announces my arrival at the right floor. Time to embrace a new day and hide all feelings if a certain tall, dark and handsome boss choses to appear. It’s showtime.

***

”Do you want to grab some lunch?” Kili stands in the doorway and smiles at me with a mischievous look in his hazel eyes. I stare at the watch on one of my screens. How can it already be lunchtime? I just got here…

”Sure, give me two minutes to just finish this. I will never forgive myself if I ruin this before it’s saved.”

”I’ll wait for you at the elevator.”

On our way down to the lobby, I can feel Kili’s impatience in the air. It’s not unusual for Thorin’s youngest nephew to reveal his feelings, but over the months I’ve gotten to know him, he has never been so eager to get my attention. It makes me a little nervous.

”Bombur’s place?” I ask with as much calmness in my tone as I can muster. Kili confirms with a single nod.

The best lunch restaurant in the area is conveniently located next to the E.C building. Bombur’s place offers a surprisingly large lunch menu and an even bigger one for à la carte during the evenings. The owner, Bombur himself, is a man very hard to miss. He takes on the role as both chef and head waiter, but still has time to greet guests with a warm welcome. His large, red beard glows like fire as he gives instructions to the other members of his staff and when your belly is full, it seems impossible to leave his place without a cookie ”for the road”. Even if the road is just a hundred meters to the entrance of E.C. Apparently Bombur and Thorin have known each other for decades and Bombur is always in charge at the yearly parties when Thorin invites all employees to celebrate the company’s success with him.

When the usual hugs and pleasantries are exchanged with Bombur, we finally sit down at a small table in the corner of the restaurant. Kili gets a quick scolding for not making a call before he shows up and it’s obvious that the people closest to Thorin mean a great deal to Bombur too. Kili assures Bombur that the table is fine but our colorful host still promises to make it up to us. He rambles today's menu without even a blink and both Kili and I pick the famous boar burger. When I ask Bombur to exclude the fries on my plate, he looks almost like I’ve offended him. But I’ve seen the size of that burger before. There is no way I can eat fries too and still be awake later this afternoon. Bombur shakes his head disapprovingly and leaves us.

”Do you think I’ve upset him for real?” I whisper as soon Bombur’s large back disappears around the corner.

”Who? Bombur?” Kili laughs loudly his most carefree laugh and two women seated at the table next to ours turn to us. One of them must have pictured Kili as a very delicious boar burger, for she looks at him with a hungry gaze. Kili doesn’t notice, of course, and when she fails in getting his attention, the woman turns to her company again. ”No way, he’s just playing with you.” Kili sounds convinced.

Our burgers arrive after only a few minutes and I’m sure that Bombur made a prioritization on our order. Kili dives in with the appetite of a starving man. The burger is just as good as I remember from my last visit. When Kili is halfway through is, he suddenly looks at me with renewed energy. His poker face is really bad and I can tell he wants to let me in on something. After a short laugh, a grin spreads over his face. He lowers his voice and looks over his shoulder to make sure we don’t have colleagues nearby.

”My brother is in trouble. Real trouble.”

”What do you mean? How?”

”I have not told anyone else, so if this comes out, I know it was you.”

”Ok…now I’m curious.” I put another bite of burger in my mouth and wait for him to keep going.

”I don’t know if you know Michele.”

”Michele,” I frown. “I feel like I should know, but I can’t remember right now who she is.”

”Long brown hair, green eyes. Very long legs. She works in finance. I think she started little more than a month ago or something.”

”Right, the new girl in Balin’s team. Of course! We spoke by the coffee machine last week, but my memory when it comes to names is a joke. I secretly wish people could wear name tags all the time.”

”Anyway….” Kili takes a piece of fries between his fingers and dips it in barbeque sauce. ”My dear brother has been ogling her since the first day. Discreetly of course, he didn’t want to make a fool out of himself. Not that I understand how he thought he could avoid that, but still!” Kili laughs at his own joke and his eyes sparkle. ”They have talked a few times in the office but last week they ran into each other every day. Fili said it was almost like they were seeking a reason to meet. Even if they work on different floors, they managed to be at the same place at the same time.”

I give Kili an encouraging nod as he pauses to put a few more fries in his mouth. He refills my glass with sparkling water and then his own. After a few sips, he continues.

”This morning Fili was going to the printer room. You know the large one, where marketing has their huge printers.” Kili grins. ”I don’t know how Michele ended up there, but suddenly they were making out against the wall. Fili said it started very innocently but they both got a little carried away. At least until Balin walked in on them.”

”Oh, no!” I cover my mouth with my hand, trying to stifle my laugh.

”Thank Mahal she works under Balin and not in marketing. Thorin would never approve of a relationship between a manager and a subordinate. He thinks it damages the work dynamics.”

My laugh dies in my throat.

”Never mix business with pleasure.” I say and my voice suddenly sounds hollow. Kili doesn’t pay attention to the way my mood changes; he’s too busy with his fries.

”Exactly. And now Fili is stressing out over the fact that he and Thorin are going on a business trip for a few days and Fili doesn’t know if Balin will say anything to Thorin about it.”

”Why would he? Both Fili and Michele are grown ups.”

”Yes, but that’s not the point. Balin knows and respects Thorin’s values. Even if he doesn’t say it out loud, Balin might as well plant an idea in Thorin’s mind that makes him question Fili about it. You know Thorin by now. He can be very persuasive when he wants to. He will pull the truth from Fili if he gets the chance.”

”Don’t you think that’s a little drastic? I mean—”

”What I think doesn’t matter. Thorin is…” He sighs deeply. ”It’s complicated.”

”If you tell me it may feel less complicated.” I offer with a smile.

Kili looks down at his smartwatch and then meets my gaze again. ”Another time.”

”Ok.”

”We should get back soon. Let me pay for your lunch since I dragged you over here in the first place.”

I accept, but only after he promises that lunch is on me next time I need to vent. We finish our burgers and then seek out Bombur to settle the bill and wish him a good afternoon. Dark clouds have gathered in the sky and as we walk back to the office, they block the sun.

”Looks like we finally will get some rain.” Kili says absently, with his gaze resting on the ominous sky.

While stepping into the elevator, I pull out my phone. Two missed calls and one text. All from Thorin. Too late I realize that Kili is watching me and his smile mirrors mine as I try to control the wave of happiness that wells up inside of me just by seeing Thorin’s name on my screen. I quickly put my phone back in my bag.

”Who makes you smile like that?” He asks with his head crooked. There is no mischief in his eyes this time, just a curious, honest look. But he will not fool me.

”That is none of your business.”

”Oh, so it’s a secret?” He grins. ”Ok, I will ask no more. At least not now.”

When the doors slide open, I almost bump into the familiar broad chest towering on the other side. I stare into Thorin’s azure eyes and the little smile he gives me makes me want to throw my arms around him. But I refrain and instead greet him and Dwalin, who stands like a statue by Thorin’s side, and wish them an enjoyable lunch. Kili and I make our way over to the coffee lounge area and find Fili frantically searching the many cupboards.

”What do you need?” Kili asks while he grabs a cup.

”The container for milk is empty,” Fili mutters. ”I know we keep extras here somewhere.”

”Since when did you start drinking your coffee with….oh.” He gives Fili a teasing smile. ”You’re on deep water now, brother. I suggest you wear a life vest.”

”Shut up, Kili!” Fili groans. Then he holds up a refill in triumph. ”I knew it!”

Kili laughs, grabs his coffee and walks down the corridor towards the marketing department. I fill a glass with tap water and leave Fili to wrestle with the coffee machine.

When I finally sit in the chair in my office again, I pull out my phone. I have a text waiting and for that I need some privacy. With a smile I swipe over the screen and start reading. Then I gasp. The man has no shame. And I love it!

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