#jason: …yes…

[mx-dc-batfaye]

Tumblr sent me down a dc x dp spiral and now we’re here and im in the process of writing a Danny x Jason Dead on Main one shot… when I haven’t touched canon for either of them in a while… and I haven’t yet written a fic for either DC or DP before… so uhhh bon appétit or whatever, here’s this:

A weirdly competent cult hellbent on summoning an evil entity to conquer the world manages to capture the entire Justice League, starting by taking just a few bats as hostages.

Jason is very annoyed, because he could be at home with his boyfriend Danny right now, but noooo. Jason is also a little worried, because surely this means these guys know what they’re doing then, right?

Constantine: So… who are you trying to summon, exactly?

Cult leader dude: The Ghost King, of course! Who better to fix this dreadful world than Pariah Dark himself?

…Jason takes it back. They aren’t competent. What kind of fucking cultists can capture the Justice League but not stay up to date on who the king of ghosts is?

This is so not how he wanted the family to meet his boyfriend, but at least if it’s just Danny they’re summoning he knows there’s no need to worry about the fate of the world.

The oneshot about this idea that I’m writing isn’t done yet, but I’ll probably have it done soon, and I’ll post it on my ao3 once it’s written (you can find me there as mx_nymph but if it’s dc fics you’re looking for there’s a severe lack of those right now, just some zelda stuff currently.) and if I remember I’ll make a post about it here on tumblr too.

Edit: I got the oneshot done! You can find it on ao3 by the name of “Incompetent Cultists (This is All Tim’s Fault)” or just, yknow, click this link to it here: mx_nymph’s Dead on Main oneshot talked about in this tumblr post

[asinglebluefeline]

You know those photos of little birds sleeping together on a branch, all cuddled up in a line? This, but its the Order of the Robins from Dark Knights of Steel, high up on some precarious ledge:

(The photos in question:)

[ineveryfandom]

bruce and dick, father and son? classic. batman and robin, partners in justice? exciting. bruce and dick, brothers with a huge age gap? more likely than you think.

-

Jason: *loses in a game against bruce*

Bruce, patting his back: it’s alright son, let’s play again

Dick: *loses in a game against bruce*

Bruce: that’s for calling me old

Dick, screaming at Bruce: HOW COULD YOU?!

Duke, new to the fam, very concerned: what’s happening?

Tim: you don’t wanna know

Duke, nervous: …is it something really bad?

Tim, gravely: yes

Dick, shaking Bruce: HOW COULD YOU?! HOW COULD YOU DRINK MY SMOOTHIE?!

Duke:

Alfred: *pointedly looking at the broken window*

Bruce: dick did it

Dick, in space, on call with Alfred: i wasn’t even anywhere NEAR there

Cass: fuck!

Bruce: language

Steph: let my girl say fuck

Bruce: language.

TV playing in the background: ..nd SCORE! unfortunately, the Gotham Guardsmen have lost to Metropolis Metros once m—

Dick, from the couch: motherfUCKER

Bruce, angrily: metropolis BASTARDS

Cass:

Cass: not fair >:[

In a restaurant

Barbara: dick can you pass me the salt

Dick, with headphones on, not hearing her:

Barbara: dick? dick. dick!

Bruce: ill get it

Bruce: *reaches for the salt near dick’s plate*

Dick: *suddenly has his arms around his food, his fork clattering to the ground, their drinks spilling everywhere*

Bruce:

Dick:

Barbara:

Dick: ...in my defense these are some real good nachos

Dick: *waltzes inside bruce’s room, not saying anything*

Bruce: ...?

Dick: *looks at the pictures on the walls*

Bruce: can i help you??

Dick: *checks himself out in the mirror*

Bruce: please do that in your own room

Dick: *turns on the lights and rummages in the drawers*

Bruce: i already ate all the snacks there

Dick: *leaves* *doesn’t close the door*

Bruce:

Damian, also in the room:

Damian, in realization: jason got it from him

[jello-jelly-coconut]

gotham rainy nights*

i still am a believer of duke doing silly things with his superpower

patch note: i got another believer and im honored

hiding under your dad's cape when it's pouring outside can be something very special + many years later, a smug dude with his bat-rain-poncho invention

[gothamitee]

What will you be tonight? That’s the question

[hannibal-is-my-comfort-show]

Headcannon that Jason got the headstone from his grave and put it above his bed because it says 'Here lies Jason Todd' (he broke off the good soldier bit ofc) and thinks it's the funniest thing ever, some of the family, of course, are horrified.

Dick, at Jason's before they go out on patrol: Hey Jaybird, make sure to bring a spare respir--WHAT THE HELL?!?

Dick, looking frantically between Jason and the headstone: this is clearly a threat. Somebody knows your identity. I swear to GOD when I find who did this--

Jason, looking up from his phone comepletely unbothered: oh yeah, about that

--------

Bonus:

--------

Tim, climbing through Jasons bedroom window: Hey, its me, dont shoot. Do you have a first aid kit here right?

Jason, getting up from where he was reading in bed: ugh yeah sure, one sec

Jason, proceeds to grab a sticky note saying 'DOES NOT' and jabs it onto the headstone so it reads 'Here DOES NOT lie Jason Todd':

Tim:

Tim: okay that's funny

[abisalli]

getting back into the swing of things by making ref sheets for myself (kinda)

[rosie321go]

Jason walking into the kitchen, whistling and looking suspiciously happy: Another day, another slay

*later that day

Dick: have you seen the news? Apparently someone killed the Joker

Tim:

Tim: Oh, he was serious?

[frownyalfred]

actually the idea that Dick, the eldest, the only one who ever wore the cowl long term, the only one who raised a Robin on his own, is also the only one who can successfully, perfectly replicate that barked ROBIN! in Bruce's voice? the only one who can pull that exact tone from the depths of his soul, to the point where his voice is identical, so identical that old Robins like Jason are obeying before their minds even realize their bodies are moving? that Dick is the only one, has always been the only one, who can channel Bruce's voice? can channel Batman himself? I am going feral

[bruciemilf]

Bruce: Parenthood is a spectrum.

Clark: Explain that.

Bruce: Sometimes, my kids make me so proud I almost like myself.

Bruce: Other times, I say ‘Well. At least they’re not doing crack cocaine’

[ashoss]

patrol is fun :DD

[chubby-p1nk]

✨🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍🌈I did this for pride month 🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍⚧️✨ And yes, in any way Tim has nothing straight KSKDKS

And I couldn't let it stay in my drafts anymore, I'm sorry. Let my boys out for the pride pls

[waveoftheocean]

wahoo finished this in time for superbat week day 5: tired dads!!

[thebat-musicman]

Bruce is working at the McDonalds in the Wayne Enterprises cafeteria as he’s trying to uncover corruption.

Tim is working at the Taco Bell because the show Undercover Boss sounded fun

Babs is pretending to work at Panda Express in order to access their cameras because SOMEHOW the fucking Panda Express has the only camera in all of Wayne Enterprises that she cant access

Jason is working at the Starbucks because he’s trying to poach employees from Bruce, but doesnt want to do any actual business stuff.

Steph is working in the Waffle House because it was too on brand for her to not take the job when offered.

Duke is working at the Burger King because this is literally just his job.

Damian (and Jon stacked on top of Damian to make them seem like adults) is working in the Popeyes as Dick hopes this will make him connect with people more (it will not).

Dick is working at the Smoothie King because he honestly just got lost and this is more fun than his real job.

Cass stole uniforms from every single restaurant in the cafeteria and is pretending to work at all of them. She hasnt been reported yet because the workers dont care and no one can find the boss (rip tim)

None of them have noticed.

[secretidentie]

Tim for literally no reason: Hey Jason do yk where I can get some cocaine

Jason: Why tf do you need cocaine

Tim: I'm a teenage CEO why tf do you think I need cocaine

Jason: Fair enough. But I'm still not selling you cocaine

Tim: Why not? I just want to hang out with the other young finance bros

Jason: Hey dick head, tell your brother I'm not giving him cocaine

Dick: Tim are you okay? do you want to talk about this??

Tim: Uhg I'm fine. You're the one ones who said I should stop drinking coffee

Jason: and you thought this was a good alternative???

Tim: Come on I'll only do a little

Dick: Is this coz we spoiled the ending of wolf of Wallstreet

Tim: Why can't I just have some? You do!

Jason: No I don't

Tim: You're a crime lord

Dick: Yeah isn't it like part of the job

Jason: WHAT NO Stereotype much. I've never even seen cocaine up close

Tim: YOU'RE A CRIME LORD

Jason: Yeah not a drug dealer THERE'S A DIFFERENCE

Tim: I should have known your not cool enough to have drug dealer connections

Jason: OKAY YOU KNOW WHAT I'M GONNA BUY A FUCK TON OF COCAINE AND DO IT RIGHT IN FRONT OF YOU JUST TO RUB IT IN

Dick: Woah woah that's enough both of you. No one in this house is doing drugs. If anyone talks about cocaine again I'll tell Bruce you said you want to start a new crack epidemic. He'll make you sit in at strangers AA meetings and read through old case files of ex dealers and their autopsies. Don't. TEST. me.

Tim: ............

Jason: ............

Tim: Can you sell me meth?

[iminrage]

the batkids are strong in their own rights. they're used to protecting their friends and loved ones. they are the protective one in their teams.

however, whenever Bruce is around, all of a sudden they became kittens held by the mother. all those protective instincts? gone. they are now with their father and their job is to duck or satay away or run to safety when instructed. jumping in front of harm's way? that's dad's job. them's the rules.