#magically induced panic attacks

[mahoushojo-chan]

Astarion x Tav || Anxiety Attack

gonna be right by your side (no matter what)

synopsis: he's never seen her look so frightened before. she trembles slightly, keeping her hands close to her body. she doesn’t even meet astarion’s gaze. it’s as if she's still focused on the creature, even though it's no longer within her line of sight. her breaths begin to come in starts, and his senses can hear her pulse skyrocketing.

an excerpt of “’cause my love (is mine, all mine)”

word count: 1739

pairing: astarion/tav

other tags: f!reader, bard!tav, hurt/comfort, light angst, non-sexual intimacy, romantic tension, friends to lovers, panic attack comfort, magically induced anxiety attack, song inspo: No Matter What by Zach Callison and Michaela Dietz

ao3: here

concept: panic attack comfort

After hours of traversing the dangerous depths of the Underdark, it finally dawns on Tav that the subterranean caves aren’t exactly suitable for a two-person adventuring party consisting of a bard and her dashing rogue companion. In the process, Tav has expended all her spell slots, save for two level one spells, and has endured not only physical damage, but psychological damage from the amount of whining that Astarion is putting her through.

“Gods, I truly hate it down here. Darling, let’s set a goal to live in a nice, lavish palace full of pointless luxuries.” Astarion insists, and almost enjoys the implication of living with each other in the future enough to forgive his incessant complaints. Almost.

She bites her tongue, because she figures it’s hard enough to give up life in the sun for a darkness he doesn’t truly care for. She’ll pester him about it later, but she knows the wound is still fresh for him right now.

It’s late into—well, it’s rather difficult to tell what the time is. Tav considers taking one more short rest, but she knows that they’re almost there.

“You know, I’ve actually never been to this place.” He says, now that they’re near enough to look for the entrance. Cazador’s entrance to the Underdark lead to some old vampire’s keep, located just to the east of Baldur’s Gate, auspiciously under the Fields of the Dead. ��I wonder what wonders could be inside—hm?”

He stops when he notices Tav isn’t moving and narrows his eyes to try to see what she’s looking at. Though Astarion possesses keen night vision, the initial sight is somewhat obscure. At first, it appears as a mere silhouette, and in the Underdark, it's impossible to be wary of every peculiar shadow. Yet, after a moment, he discerns distinct horned features, and the shadowy form takes on the semblance of a horned humanoid, its eyes oozing pure horror, and it points a finger at them.

“Hells.” Astarion mutters, instinctively switching to disengage stealthily. He ducks behind the last corner they came from, and expects Tav to follow—before he turns to see her still rooted firmly in place.

“What are you doing? Get over here, quickly!” He hisses at her, but rather uncharacteristically, she doesn’t respond. He’s used to her fearless antics, and this does look like something she’d be rather interested in, but there’s only so much stupidity he’s able to take. Out of options, he grabs the back of her cloak and pulls, successfully tugging her behind the corner. “Are you insane?” He snaps, but the second he turns his attention away from the creature and towards Tav, he immediately freezes.

He's never seen her look so frightened before. She trembles slightly, keeping her hands close to her body. She doesn’t even meet Astarion’s gaze. It’s as if she's still focused on the creature, even though it's no longer within her line of sight. Her breaths begin to come in starts, and his senses can hear her pulse skyrocketing.

“Breathe, darling.” He instructs, but she isn’t listening to him—more importantly, she still isn’t moving. It’s not that he doesn’t want to comfort her, but he’s pretty sure the monster, whatever it is, is still slowly stalking towards them.

Quickly, as a last-ditch effort, he hoists her onto his back. She’s still heavy, and she’s slowing him down. Even if it might be faster to hide her and look for the entrance himself, when she stutters, “’Starion?” In that quiet, uncharacteristically weak voice, he knows he can’t leave her.

“Right here, my sweet, right here.” He reassures quietly, still looking for the entrance while trying to keep out of the creature’s sight. At the very least, it didn’t seem very perceptive.

Eventually, he sees a crack of firelight in the wall—just enough to reveal concrete slabs behind the layers of rock, and enough to illuminate the edges of a wooden door. He quickly dashes towards it and pries the door open, entering and putting her down before closing the door behind him. He looks through the iron keyhole to see if the monster will pass, but a voice breaks his concentration.

“Astarion,” Dalyria says, sounding relieved.

“Shh.” He dismisses. “There’s something outside.”

Dalyria stays silent for a moment before recognition tinges her voice. “Ah. You mean the Nightwalker. It’s okay, it hasn’t bothered any of us. It seems if we stay out of its way, it won’t go out of its way to hurt us. It’s been a bit of a relief if anything.” She tells him, but Astarion isn’t reassured quite yet. They had stayed well out of its way, and it seemed to target them still.

Still, seeing that the creature has at least stopped chasing them down, Astarion finally ducks down towards Tav, seeing her state once again. He knows something is wrong with her, and not something natural. She was normally fearless—and while he knew that wasn’t entirely true, it was too sudden for her to completely cower at some unknown, shadowy figure when she had faced devils and shades more fearsome than the creature they encountered. He knows it must have done something to her, but now that they are in relative safety, he just needs her to breathe, gods damn it.

“Is she alright?” Dalyria asks, trying to peer over Astarion’s shoulder to see Tav. His first instinct is to bristle, but he knows that out of all his siblings, Dalyria is probably the best to take a look at her.

A little reluctantly, he steps aside. Dalyria observes her for a moment, and takes her hand, but Tav immediately withdraws as though burned. She still can’t speak, but Dalyria discerns, “I wonder if this is its effect on the living.”

“And? Your verdict? What are we supposed to do?” He snaps, but he can’t stand to look at her shivering form anymore, so he turns away.

“You may just have to wait it out,” Dalyria accepts. “I could attempt to heal a physical ailment, but this seems mostly mental. If it’s magically induced, though, it shouldn’t last very long once it’s out of her sight.”

Astarion curses under his breath. He ducks down, and peers at Tav again. Her face is pressed into her hands, and her knees are tucked in. It seems to be more grounding behaviour than anything else. He takes her side.

“Where is everyone else?” He asks Dal, but he doesn’t take his gaze off Tav.

“They’re trying to calm the other spawn. It’s turmoil out there. So many of them… they haven’t been free in forever. Trying to reel them all in feels impossible.” She sighs. “I only came to check in on you. Should I… leave you, for a moment?” She asks, looking at his companion again.

He heaves a hefty sigh. They had finally come all this way, but… “For now.” He reassures, partially to himself. He glances over his shoulder. “We’ve prepared supplies, but we weren’t able to carry all of it here. The rest should be at the entrance to Cazador’s castle. You can use them as rations for now.”

Dalyria nods in understanding. “I’ll tell the others,” she assures him. “Then, once everyone has fed… please come to us then. We’ll be waiting in the dining room. All of us.”

He doesn’t respond, even as she shuts the door. Instead, he turns his attention back to Tav. He’s glad he can speak freely without revealing too much of themselves. He sighs dramatically. “Come now, love, this doesn’t suit you at all. Stop this, you’re being ridiculous.”

He’s hoping to provoke her into responding, but it seems the magically-induced fright is not something that can just be taunted away. It’s difficult, because he knows if he were under such an effect, she would be able to ward it off immediately. In fact, it was one of her special skills to divert charms and fears with her own.

“What’s that song you normally sing? The song about Heroism, with some drivel less about heroes and more about some saccharine ‘love and friendship’ and whatnot?” He asks, hoping to trigger her memory. She stirs, but it looks more like she’s withdrawing further into herself.

As a last ditch effort, Astarion begins to hum what he knows of the melody. It’s terrible and off-key, and he’s not even sure he’s remembering more than the chorus. To grab her attention, he drums his fingers on the top of her head playfully, approximately to the rhythm of the song that he remembers.

He continues humming, stopping ever so often to prompt her to continue. Eventually, in a shaky, unsupported, quiet mutter, she sings the lyrics to the song as a call-and-response.

Encouragingly, he perks up immediately. He continues his humming, and as they continue, she switches from call-and-response to providing the actual lyrics to the section he hums. She finally raises her head—ever so slightly—to meet his eyes.

When she continues, she continues with the melody, a little more confidently. She takes the opportunity to hold his hands, gripping both his hands with hers. He lets her continue the song on her own, and her fear seems to be dissipating. She garnishes her performance with pretty runs and vibratos, but then she looks at him expectantly—this time, she wants him to follow her lead, and she seems to be expecting more than humming.

Softly, she switches to a quiet new verse of the song, “With all that you were,” she sings.

“With all that you were,” he responds, though it’s more of him talking with a lilt than singing.

“With all that you’ll be,” she adds.

“With all that you’ll be,”

“With all that you’ve won and lost,”

He thinks he understands what she’s singing about. “With all that you’ve won and lost,”

“You will always have me.” She ends the song.

“You will always have me.” He replies, and he sounds fond, though he isn’t sure whether she’s trying to find reassurance in him or give reassurance to him.

At the end, she hangs her head to stabilize herself once more. He opens his mouth to let out a quip, but she speaks first.

“I’m sorry, Star, I just need a second—"

“As cute as you are all teary and needy, you’re absurd if you’re apologizing to me.” He clicks his tongue in disapproval. Then, more comfortingly, adds, “I’ve got you. We’ve got each other."

[lynnuvo]

୨⎯ Long Gone Princess ⎯୧

Characters: Yan!Thief x (Y/N) reincarnated as Rapunzel A lot of you guys enjoyed the Cinderella version, so why not make a Rapunzel version? Very much considering making this a Yan!Fairytales Series.

Stowed Away

When you first awoke in your tower, you panicked for days. There was literally no way out, no matter how much you clawed at the bricks. It didn't take long to figure out where exactly you were. Who else would paint a mural of herself, seriously long-haired, gazing at floating lanterns?

Meeting Mother Gothel was the most anxiety-inducing thing you had to push through. You pitied the real Rapunzel for falling victim to her sugar-coated, poisonous words. As much as you internally cringed at them, it wouldn't serve you well to raise suspicion. After all, you have nowhere to go.

Whenever Mother Gothel was gone and you finished tidying up the tower, you emptied one of your chests full of female paraphernalia and stuffed some "safety equipment inside." Hopefully, Mother Gothel wouldn't notice a missing pair of scissors. Or a few darts.

Your now abnormally long hair was disturbing, to say the least. It was pretty, but now that you were living her life, you wandered how Rapunzel managed to put up with the hair strands scattered around the house, washing the heap of keratin proteins for hours in just ONE day, and sleep knowing there was at least some hair flowing to the floor. And let's be real: you were not going to spend most of your day braiding it just to remove your work whenever Mother Gothel came back.

Unfortunately, you couldn't afford to cut your hair--not just because it'd give Mother Gothel a heart attack but because it might help you. It did have magical healing powers. The only huge problem was that you were not skilled enough to maneuver your hair like Rapunzel. In addition, if you were to leave the tower, how would you return? Until you found the secret entrance amongst all the brick, you needed a backup plan.

One day, you gathered the courage to ask Mother Gothel for more fabric to sew a beautiful wedding dress, one that was colorful and very long. Of course, you left out the part where you wanted it to be long enough to reach the bottom of the tower (it'd be a lot of work, but what else were you going to do to escape?). She was skeptical about the idea behind the dress, but you reassured her that you just wanted something like those girls in the fairytale books you had in your room. After her lecture about the dangers of the world, she agreed to get you fabric.

My Savior

One morning, while you sowed your dress, you heard the sound of metal jabbing into something growing closer and closer. In a panic, you shut off your sewing machine and tied up as much as your hair as possible. There was no way you could capture Rapunzel's beloved thief the way she did. You vaguely prepared for what to do when he arrived, but you hadn't expected it to be that day!

At last, he fell into the tower and froze at the sight of you. He glanced behind him and turned back around, stepping away from the window with hands up. "Uh. I am so sorry for breaking into your home."

You pointed one of your scissors (used to cut fabric earlier) at him with a glare. "I'll forgive you if you hand me that bag you have."

"Listen, miss, I think we can sort this out without--"

"The bag or I'll throw you back down."

He gulped and reluctantly threw you the bag, begging you to please return it to him afterwards. The shock he had at your nonchalant expression while pulling out the most sparkly crown you've ever seen was laughable. In reality though, you were in awe. You quickly snapped out of it, though, and threw it behind you. You both cringed at the clanging it made as it hit the floor.

"I need you to listen to me," you started, gripping your scissors and your dress. "I need your help."

You didn't hesitate to cut to the chase. You explained that you were kidnapped by a woman claiming to be your mother and trapped in the tower by her. Although it may backfire on you later, you shared that you were reincarnated from another world. He was in disbelief until you told him his full name, his criminal history, the companions he had who would soon betray him, and the small cottage he visited along with many more criminals or outlaws. He challenged that you just did your research, but then you told him what crime he had just committed: stealing the missing princess's crown, which was--by the way--you.

After some back and forth, he agreed to help on the condition that you return the crown. You agreed to return it on the condition that he not only help you escape but also help you live in safety.

Together, you both clawed at the bricks on the wall until the secret backdoor was found. He helped you come up with a way to hide the new backdoor again whenever Mother Gothel returned.

You found a pattern in the earlier months leading up to then on Mother Gothel's pattern of visitation. She comes back every three or four days in early evening. If she didn't return by the time the sun disappeared, she wouldn't be back at all. That day was one of those days she wasn't going back. You suspected she wouldn't return for a while since she had just left the day before. Although hesitant at the idea of a new roommate, you demanded that Yan!Thief spend the night in the same room as you. He balked at what he thought was an implication, but he soon found himself sleeping on the floor (you dropped a blanket for him). How were you sure he wouldn't use the secret backdoor while you slept? You boobietrapped it before bed, making sure he stayed in the room so he wouldn't see under the threat of murder.

Steal His Heart

Your new routine was a scary turn but also surprisingly relieving. Yan!Thief would leave the tower in search of a new home for you (and him too) and would return in the afternoon only if a piece of purple fabric hung outside the window. Otherwise, it wasn't safe to come back.

Although your relationship started off rocky (who's to blame him with how violently you approached him?), you two soon warmed up to each other. He sometimes returned with small goods that you sometimes got a clear answer for how he retrieved. That chocolate he got for you both to try? He pickpocketed it. That ripe fruit that tasted like mildew spring? He dodged all of the questions.

Eventually, you gathered the courage to leave the tower with him. Your activities differed from there. Sometimes, you both ventured a little ways from the tower to discover the terrain and help find a new home. Sometimes, you both would spend the day walking around, learning more about each other and chatting away.

With no other companion, it came as no surprise to Yan!Thief that he developed romantic feelings for you. You didn't want to admit that you did too. At least, not until you both were in a safe place.

At last, Yan!Thief found an abandoned shelter. It was rusty, but it was closer to the kingdom than the tower but sheltered away like the tower. With a pounding heart, you gathered as much as you could from your tower into a backpack that Yan!Thief had brought over and left forever. In the shelter, you cut your hair, rendering it free from its power. Yan!Thief initially didn't want it to happen due to your great abilities, but one look at your determined face told him that you knew better.

The next couple weeks was spent in paranoia, you in fear of Mother Gothel and him in fear of guards. Luckily, you two went as far as making it into the kingdom without getting caught.

One day, you brought up the idea of revealing your identity to the king and queen while fidgeting with your crown. You reassured Yan!Thief that you'd vouch for his safety and freedom for as much as possible. It took a while for him to warm up to that, but you two finally made your way towards the castle.

Everything went surprisingly as planned. The kingdom rejoiced at the return of their princess, Yan!Thief was spared of a prison sentence and was even given a home and job as a prize for bringing you back, and the dead, rotten body of Mother Gothel was found not far from the shelter you and Yan!Thief had found.

Life was a fairytale.

MY Princess

Until it wasn't.

See, although you and Yan!Thief seemed to start opening a romantic chapter, that soon closed. With your newfound title came new responsibilities, friends, and much to his worries, a possible new love interest.

He tried his best to remain just a friend to you, but it was unbelievably hard. He couldn't believe that you were slowly forgetting him, your savior! Why must you abandon your knight in shining armor?!

He did feel guilty for not appreciating his new life more. Any other criminal would probably fight tooth and nail to be in his position, but he just wasn't happy if you weren't there with him.

Once his selfishness began to boil over, he devised a plan he wasn't sure if he was going to regret. He paid a visit to your room in the castle (you had given your dear best friend special permission) and chatted with you a bit. You apologized for being so distant as of late; royal duties had been keeping you at bay. He accepted your apology more readily than he had expected. It was hard not to with your bright smile and the cute way you pushed your hair behind your ears. He asked if you had time to visit the old tower for memories sake, and you happily agreed. The kingdom had yet to find the tower (you insisted to him that you wanted it kept secret in case you needed to run away again), so you simply told your guards you were heading out for a stroll.

Once at the tower, you two ventured inside and reveled at how dramatic your lives had changed. You even reminisced your life before being reincarnated. As the sun fell, you got up and suggested that you both should head back before it gets dark.

"Yan!Thief?" You peered at his gloomy expression. "Is everything okay?"

He nodded. got up, and hugged you. You let out a gasp before embracing him back. When he left go, you caught a tear slipped down his cheek. Your hands shot up to cup his face. "Yan!Thief?! What's wrong? I'm here. Did something happen?"

He sniffled and brushed a hand over your cheek. "I'm so sorry."

You were about to demand an explanation until you caught a glimmer shine from a blade in his other hand.

When you woke, you found your ankle chained to your bed--not your bed in the beautiful castle you were meant to be in but in the tower you had escaped from a year ago.

Yan!Thief came in the room and apologized with tears streaming down his face, exclaiming that you were just too irresistible to give to any other man or even the kingdom. He promised to take care of everything.

No matter how much you screamed, threw items in a fit of rage, or revealed that you only had romantic feelings for him all this time, he wouldn't budge. It was only until he bought a longer chain that he freed you from the bed. Your heart broke when you discovered he had discarded the wedding dress you had worked hard on and abandoned in the tower long ago, and even more so when you saw that he had built a new door in front of the original secret entrance.

You were back to square one, only this time with no way out and betrayed by the one person you truly trusted in this universe.

[mojo-bro-tho]

There’s something to be said about how Emmrich canonically has anxiety but we never really see him ever panic.

Like he says in game that how magic is done in Nevarra is a lot of times involving those breathing exercises and stuff so we can wager that he’s good at clearing his head when he’s in a pinch but anyone who has PANIC attacks (me) knows that like half the time you don’t really feel it coming, it just happens.

And Emmrich kinda says that to Rook, how his fear is triggered or can be triggered at any time but he can also speak so casually about it because time has worn him to be able to do that. So whenever I’m writing Emmrich I accidentally imprint a little bit of myself in there (oof) where he can put on a good face and really sell how in control he is.

But on the inside? Mama he is WRECKED cuz that’s so me it’s crazy.

So anyways, the point of this is I’m very fascinated by the idea of a story where Emmrich’s panic quite literally comes from nothing at all. And if it did come from something, the something is so innocuous that no “regular” person would ever consider it panic inducing and maybe on any other day of the week it isn’t for Emmrich but today it was.

And that’s all that matters.

Seeing his reflection in the mirror and having the sudden memory of he used to look. Bumping into a desk and realizing he bruises easier now. A rock sliding down a cliff. Things like that. Small things, meaningless things that become much bigger shadows.

I used to have a fear of sudden piano music for like 2 years in high school. But I was also in concert band.

I can’t help be see the similarity with a man who’s afraid of death and yet is surrounded by it. And how simply the exposure and flow of time did what it could to ease. And sometimes it’s done purposefully.

Can you imagine Emmrich sitting in front of a skeletal construct as an apprentice, staring into its empty eye sockets and knowing that inside of him that’s what he looks like? That that’s what awaits him? Heart stammering in his chest, ears ringing, jaw tight, breathing both too fast and too hard. Staring until he’s about to lose consciousness and then falls to the ground while gasping for air…

And then 15 minutes later he just gets up and keeps working on the construct again. Whenever characters canonically have anxiety or panic disorders, my mind always goes to moments like that. The ways that they suffer to cope because that’s sadly a big part of it. Sort of like exposure therapy I guess. It’s just very interesting to me.

[camilleisback]

Since some of us have noticed a lack of cardiophilia centered/heartbeat related prompts on this site, I've come up with a short, non-exhaustive list to boost your writing!

Text version under the cut:

CARDIOPHILIA/HEARTBEAT RELATED PROMPTS

SOFT:

accidental listening

"your heartbeat is soothing"

hand to one's chest while kissing

falling asleep to the beat of one's heartbeat

feeling one's heartbeat through the clothes

sometimes, home is two arms and a heartbeat

after exercise heartbeat

"can you hear it/feel it? It beats just for you"

tired after a long day

reacquainting with someone's heartbeat

WHUMP:

collapsing after strenuous exercise

bad fit of tachycardia

"fuck, my chest hurts"

cardiac tamponade

overdose

medicines don't work/failed healing magic

heart disease

defibrillation/cardioversion

heart torture

cardiac arrest

NSFW:

drugged heartbeat

self-stething

comparing pulses

playing doctor

lazy morning

heated fuck

making out while hooked up to an EKG

"I wanna make your heartbeat run like rollercoasters"

electrical stimulation

chemically induced arrhythmia

GENERAL:

"I think there's something wrong with my heart"

open-heart surgery

grounding after a panic attack

skipping beats

broken heart

"your heart sounds so strong..."

medical check-up

love confession

research project

dagger/bullet/dart to the heart

experimental treatment

close monitoring

shortness of breath

"the only sound I hear is my own heartbeat"

the telltale heart

self-stething [nonsexual]

"do you want me to take a listen?"

bedside vigil

clockwork machine

bad at managing medicines

[leonenjoyer69]

Hi!!! Guess who has an AU of an AU now? Yeah, so here's the fresh Vampire Elias AU, art and vague lore! Also you can't tell me Hyde wouldn't play dress up with a vampire

I don't even remember how this idea came about, but I've been doing stuff non stop with it for the past 3 days 💀

So! Lore and details-- (also, color-pickable refs at the bottom)

Elias got turned while out walking around a park with Lanyon. The two were actually mostly getting along when Elias got attacked, and he wasn't able to really fight them off through the panic (and with Lanyon yelling in his head) so, he got turned.

The HJ7 is able to supress a bit of stuff, and basically mostly keeps Lanyon from turning (bc I say so, magic potion), but Elias is definitely still a vampire. He only has one eye that mostly turned red, on the side he was bit. He wears an eyepatch over that eye, unless he's alone or just with Jekyll/hyde where he knows they won't be disturbed. his ears pointed a little, and of course he has sharper teeth. His skin also grew a bit paler and a bit more ashy looking, and his flush isn't as strong. He's also sensitive to light, mostly in his red eye, and his skin stings a bit when he's exposed in the sun too long.

He also has a lot more control over his vampiric impulses, and for a while basically starves himself of blood out of guilt (until Jekyll and/or Hyde find out and force him to feed from them. Hyde is *very* excited to have a vampire boyfriend. He's,,, quite into it. Jekyll won't let Hyde get turned (though Elias wouldn't do it anyways)). At a point, he'd probably try feeding on himself, but quickly stop when he realizes that it makes him sick. His bat form is a little white fruit bat (or something of the sort, I just want him to be fed fruits man) ALSO, @historysphysiciann HAS SOME REALLY AWESOME VAMPIRE ELIAS ART WITH HIS LIL BAT FORM :D

Onto Lanyon, he does get a few of the physical traits, (his eyes have a slight red tint, his teeth are the slightest bit sharper, but grow a tad bit more around blood, slightly pointer ears, slightly paler skin (especially when Elias is basically starving himself), etc.) But certainly to a lesser degree than Elias. He can also still eat normal food, just has a craving for meat more. Also, he *can* drink blood for the both of them, but it's a very gross concept to him and he only has a slight taste for it, so it's still something he avoids. Otherwise, he's still mostly human, and his heart still pumps, just a decent bit slower. He gets cold quite easily now.

Elias's heart still vaguely pumps, but it's mainly because of the HJ7-induced adrenaline.

Also! Elias doesn't have a reflection any more, so he can only see Lanyon in mirrors now. When Lanyon's in control, he still has a reflection, but it's slightly blurry. He can also still see Elias in the mirror, since the HJ7 reflection and shadow thing is just like, a hallucination or manifestation of the other half.

A buncha folks on discord also made him angsty after just turning. Someone asks for directions or such and a freshly turned Elias can't control his urges, since he's freshly drained, and attacks the person. Lanyon forces a transformation in a panic, leaving the person not dead, and runs off to the society to find Jekyll or Hyde. That doesn't really have to be canon lmao, still fun tho

ANYWAYS YEAH, THIS IS NOT CANON TO THE LANYON TAKES THE POTION AU, THIS IS JUST,,, ANOTHER AU OF THAT 💀💀 for funsies 😋 also, he WILL be on art fight, as a seperate character from normal Elias :3

FEEL FREE TO ASK ANY QUESTIONS ABOUT THIS NEW AU >:33

[wangxianficfinder]

I'm in the mood for...

July 15th

~*~

1. For the next itmf I had 2 requests

A) Wei Wuxian not being okay after his 3 months in the burial mounds. Like, not just being mean, I want him to barely be holding to reality, maybe some amnesia, but for him to be bad to a concerning point

B) Wei Wuxian feeling isolated

Thank you! ♡

1A)

🔒 At heart by apathyinreverie (M, 36k, WangXian, WIP, Dark LWJ(Ish), Amnesia, WWX gets to be Not Okay after the BM, Hurt WWX, Recovery, Caring, Protective LWJ, Possessive LWJ, some definite manipulation, but not everything is as it seems, not nearly as dark as the tags make it sound, Canon Divergence, Golden Core Reveal, Golden Core Transfer Fix-It, kind of, Domestic WangXian, Fluff, WWX Goes to Gusu, Possessive WWX, WWX happily atticwifing away, Sunshot Campaign, BAMF WWX, BAMF LWJ, ridiculously self-indulgent) LWJ finds WWX in the Burial mounds and he heals slowly. Has Amnesia, doubting the reality and malnutrition as focus points

they who refuse to be blessed by sysrae (E, 7k, WangXian, JC & WWX, Canon Divergence, Hurt/Comfort, Angst, Whump, Golden Core Reveal, Developing Relationship, wwx can have a little scurvy, as a treat, Bathing/Washing, Confessions, Sharing a Bed) things happen and lwj gets to take care of wwx immediately after finding him, noting all the damage his time in the mounds has done

🔒 between the shadow and the soul by Reverie (cl410) (M, 22k, WangXian, JYL/WQ, JC/NHS, Canon Divergence, Angst with a Happy Ending, Family, Dark WWX, Feral WWX, Memory Loss, Magic, Magical Realism, Protective LWJ, Protective JC, Protective JYL, Grief, BAMF WWX, POV Alternating)

🔒He knows He knew Once by StarClearWaters (Readoutloud) (G, 6k, WangXian, Temporary Amnesia, Resentful Energy, Burial Mounds-Induced Amnesia, Blanket Permission, POV Multiple, Not as angsty as it sounds)

1B)

Concord by Deastar (T, 41k, WangXian, Arranged Marriage, Gūsū Lán Sect Rules, Depression, Canon Divergence, Angst with a Happy Ending)

Grave dirt by esama (T, 92k, wangxian, canon divergence, necromancy, demonic cultivation, farming, found family, pre-slash, politics, Fix-it of sorts, yilingwei sect au)

Having Enough (of your foolishness) by makexianxianhappytoday (T, 18k, WangXian, Hurt WWX, YLLZ WWX, BAMF WWX, WangXian Get a Happy Ending, Angst with a Happy Ending, Jiang Family Bashing, Canon Divergence, CSSR and WCZ Live, Yunmeng Jiang Sect Bashing, JYL Lives, JZX Lives, (but what are the consequences), JC Bashing)

~*~

2. [ITMF ask] Are there any fics where the resentful energy from the Burial Mounds (physically? Mentally? Metaphorically??) love wwx and try their best to help him survive? Especially when they still recognize wwx in mxy's body after the whole 13 years thing

Mud on Your Feet by AvoOwO (Not Rated, 59k, WangXian, JC & WWX, Nightmares, Sentient Burial Mounds, Burial Mounds, Possession, Panic Attacks, Night Terrors, Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, Good Sibling JC, Hurt WWX, Soft WangXian, Feels, Blood and Injury, Hallucinations, Delusions, JC Loves WWX, Insomnia, Good Sibling WWX, Sleepwalking, Sleeptalking, LWJ just wants to sleep with his husband, Protective JC, WWX Sees Dead People, LJY pulls through, POV LWJ, Cloud Recesses, PTSD, Post-Canon, YLLZ WWX, resentful energy, Fluff, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Thirteen Years of WWX’s Death, WWX’s Three Months in the Burial Mounds, Angst with a Happy Ending, Hurt/Comfort, WWX is tired, LWJ literally just wants to sleep with WWX again is that too much to ask for??, Soft JC, Yunmeng Siblings Feels)

Devil Flute Upon Graves, Wei Ying by cloudyrobinwrites (jwyoomi) (M, 18k, WangXian, HuaLian, JYL/JZX, MXY & WWX, Major Character Death, Graphic Depictions of Violence, Angst, Hints of Fluff, Burial Mounds Settlement Days, Sentient Burial Mound, Ghost WWX, Future Calamity WWX, Pre-WangXian, what if wwx actually died when he first fell into the burial mounds and came out as a wrath level ghost, he has a murder of crows like HC's silver butterflies, grab some popcorn watch him spiral, WWX is Not Okay, He'll get better I promise, Canon Divergence, WWX is a Calamity, WWX is not having a fun time, the burial mounds is a tiger mom, how to motivate yourself to finish mount tonglu: think of LWJ, hualian are WWX's emotional support parents, deity JYL, Deity JZX, Good Sibling JYL, JZX is So Whipped, Heavenly Emperor XL, but like forced he doesnt want to be on the throne but fate is like lol nope, Xuanli Raise Jin Ling as They Should, dont worry the MCD refers to the canonical character deaths theyre fine, The Burial Mounds Wants More Kids, what happens when a ghost king gets thrown into a murder mystery, WWX picked up MXY and decided he'll be his student now, MXY managed to summon a calamity level ghost what a guy, WWX disguises himself as a rogue cultivator) It's a MDZS/TGCF crossover in which the Burial mounds is an actual character

~*~

3. itmf fics with the wei family. any where cssr and/or wcz are alive and taking care of their baby, or ones where wwx has a sibling! ty!

Building a home by R95irth (T, 586k, WCZ/CS, WangXian, Canon Divergence, Time Travel Fix-it, Angst with a happy ending, Family fluff)

Cartwheels In Cloud Recesses Series by ShanaStoryteller (Not Rated, 23k, WangXian, CSSR/WCZ, CSSR and WCZ Live, Cloud Recesses Study Arc, Cloud Recesses Shenanigans)

The Different Paths We Tread Series by Admiranda, Rynne (T/G/E, 345k, WangXian, CSSR/WCZ, Canon Divergence, No Sunshot Campaign, CSSR and WCZ Live, Rogue Cultivator WWX, Different First Meeting, Genius WWX, Inventor WWX, Drama, Fluff, Strangers to married, Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Minor Violence, Case Fic, There Was Only One Bed, Getting Together, First Kiss, Meeting the Parents, Resolved Sexual Tension, Resolved Romantic Tension, WWX Is a Good Big Brother, Chinese Mythology & Folklore, Blood and Injury, Yiling siblings, Married WangXian, Wangxian's Baby Fever, POV Outsider, Twin Jades of Lan Dynamics, PWP, Desk Sex, Inappropriate Use of Gusu Lan Forehead Ribbon, Light Bondage, Dirty Talk, Teasing, Anal Sex, Top LWJ/Bottom WWX, LWJ Has a Biting Kink, Anal Fingering, wwx's debatably self-lubing asshole, xxc and cssr meet, WWX is a Lan, WWX is Xiao Xingchen's Shizhi, Non-Graphic Depictions of Donkey Childbirth)

~*~

4. Back again with a hand out, begging! Love you all so much! This is an ITMF request: Jiang Cheng-centric groundhog-day AU? I've seen a few with WWX but I'd love one with Jiang Cheng being put through it! (no JC bashing, prefer canon era) @kimboo-york

~*~

5. Is there a Cloud Recesses Study Arc fanfics where they see the future in the classroom? @tjrc18

Wei Wuxian’s Terrible, Horrible, No Good First Meeting With His Future by Enigmatree (T, 3k, wangxian, Time Travel, Cloud Recesses, YLLZ WWX, POV Outsider)

~*~

6. Hello! I'm making an 'im in the mood for' fic request! I'd really like to read a fic where Wangxian adopt Xue Yang and give him a good childhood :D

Also if there are any ships with xy, i have a STRONG preference for songxuexiao

🔒 if you can’t beat them, recruit them by moeblobmegane (T, 228k, Wangxian, NHS & WWX, WWX & WQ, Time Travel Fix-It, Conspiracy, Spies & Secret Agents, Team as Family, Found Family, Burial Mounds, Temporary Character Death, Canon-Typical Violence, Pining, Morally Ambiguous Character, Rumors, Politics, Developing Friendships, Good Uncle LQR, Demonic Cultivation, YilingWei Sect) He gets taken in as a son/disciple together with MXY into the sect WWX is totally not creating on accident

Unstoppbble by Immortal WangXian (Mr_Pervert) (M, 85k, WIP, WangXian, XiCheng, XuanLi, NingSang, QingJue, Immortal LWJ, Immortal WWX, Good Parent YZY, Good Parent JFM, Good Uncle LQR, Good Person XY, Evil JGY, Travel Fix-It, Top LWJ/Bottom WWX, Bottom JC/Top LXC, Bottom NHS/Top WN, Supportive NMJ, YLLZ WWX, Possessive LWJ, Protective LWJ, Fluff and Crack, Shameless Smut, Action/Adventure, Mpreg) Time travel fix it where Wangxian pick up XY when he's 6

Alternate by Hanashi_o_suru (M, 60k, WIP, WangXian, Fix-It, Time Travel Fix-It, Canon Divergence, Established Relationship, Established WangXian, Canon-Typical Violence, POV Third Person Limited, WWX is a Tease, mentions of rape/non-con, Sporadic and Random Updates) Also a time travel fix it fic where they pick up XY while he's a child. Another plus: he started ironically calling WWX A-Niang and now it's stopped being ironical. It happens

~*~

7. Hello everyone! This time I will use the "I feel like..." section because I would really like fics where only Wei Wuxian is a time traveler and helps everyone live while she wins back her husband! I really just imagine hijinks and fluff. Thank you very much for your effort @makolashida

And Time Is But a Paper Moon by sami (M, 139k, WangXian, XiChengQing, Time Travel, Fix-It, Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Healing, Mental Health Issues, PTSD, Hurt/Comfort, Depression, BAMF WWX, BAMF JC, BAMF LWJ, BAMF JYL, Getting Together) may have more angst then they are seeking but it fits the other requirements.

~*~

8. Hi! This is for ITMF

A) WWX has a chronic illness but not a sickness like cancer. What i want is he was sick in the past and recovered but if he does something his past illness will come again or something like The Porcelain Lotus of Yungmeng by The Feels Whale (miscellea) or 🔒A Burning Cold by MountainRose

B) WWX wants to fix JFM and YZY marriage (because he thinks that it was his fault they always fighting) and JYL or JWY says "you cant fix something that never been whole before" Or something like that or saying that its not WWX responsibility to fix that @idontknowwhattowriteforusername

8A)

misunderstood 'verse by sysrae (M, 7k, WangXian, Modern, College/University, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, getting hit by cars, Past Child Abuse, Friends to Lovers, Abusive YZY, Caring LWJ, Injured WWX, partial hearing loss, the real OTP is everyone x therapy) modern au wwx is deaf on one eat because of a past experience

A Bad of Nibs (Nibs are Bad) by Enk (M, 17k, WangXian, Quarantine, Slice of Life, Friends to Lovers, Chronic Illness, Chronic Pain, Fluff and Angst, Mild Sexual Content, Found Family, Vague Canadian Location, JYL Lives)

~*~

9. hi! for the itmf, idk if this is specific but any modern au fics where wwx is estranged from the jiangs for some reason either during or before the fic, a-yuan is his kid (adopted or biological) and the jiangs don’t know about him, and they reconnect? thank you for the work!

🔒moonlight falls Series by RoseThorne (T, 19k, WangXian, Modern AU, Corporate Espionage, Family Fluff, Adoption, Bad parent LQR, Pre-JC & WWX Reconciliation, Dissociation, Mental Health Issues, Food as a Metaphor for Love, Found Family, Emotional Constipation, Communication Failure, JC is Bad at Feelings, JC is Trying, WWX Needs a Hug, POV WWX, POV Third Person, Implied/Referenced Sex, Food Sex, Reconciliation, Psychological Trauma)

~*~

10. itmf fics where wwx discovers evidence that lwj is in love with him. like maybe wwx discovering his floorboard stash and finding his painting of lwj, or alternatively, smth like letters, diary entries, song lyrics, lwj’s own art for wwx, or self-insert fanfic. things like that! @nalalie

Ever Thine, Ever Mine, Ever Ours. by JaenysBloodcourt (T, 3k, WangXian, Immortal LWJ and WWX, Fluff and Angst, Happy Ending, Well it could be a Bittersweet Ending, Love Confessions) Immortal WWX finds a poem immortal LWJ wrote in the 13 years he was dead. It's a love poem

rather cruelly used and rather reserved by x_los (M, 13k, wangxian, sugar daddy (slightly), case fic, domestic horror, architectural horror, gift giving, happy ending, getting together, confessions) is perfect for it

~*~

11. I’m in the mood for no-war AUs about wangxian getting together post CR study arc. Just want to read about how these two might have figured it out without the stress of war and growing up too fast! Thanks in advance!

Dazzle Like a Diamond by Tsukimiko_san (T, 4k, WangXian, Dragon LWJ, Crow WWX, Cloud Recesses Study Arc, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, No Angst, ok maybe a tiny sprinkle of angst but like, usual LWJ thinking WWX is just teasing him, it doesn’t last long, Getting Together, they are both so whipped, Boys Kissing, Courting Rituals) iirc there's not even a mention of war on this one, but I do have to warn that it's crowxian and dragonji

Dispersing Clouds by dreamingofcake (E, 283k, WangXian, Canon Divergence, Genius WWX, Inventor WWX, Not Jiang Family Friendly, Abusive YZY, Canonical Child Abuse, Hurt/Comfort, Slow Burn, Eventual Sex, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm (Background Character), Background Character Deaths, child deaths, Canon JC, Good Uncle LQR, Accidental Baby Acquisition, Cultivation Sect Politics, Homophobia, Heteronormativity, Feelings Realization, WWX is Not Oblivious) Fits both 11 & 12. It's a no war AU (mostly - there is some conflict between the Wen & Nie, but WX's role is solely helping refugees) set shortly after CRSA where WX get together. There's also a subplot about WWX setting up a charitable venture to help Yiling's street kids

💙 Holding shreds by barisan (T, 5k, WangXian, Cloud Recesses Study Arc, No Sunshot Campaign, Body Swap, Not for sexy shenanigans, Chronic Pain, Hurt WWX, Hurt LWJ, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Abusive YZY, Bad Parent YZY, Bad Parent JFM, Good Uncle LQR, Hurt/Comfort, Medical Inaccuracies, POV WWX, Angst with a Happy Ending, Not Jiāng Family Friendly, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, Getting Together, Smart WWX)

Orchids in Lotus Pier by Vamillepudding (G, 21k, wangxian, canon divergence, romantic comedy, pining, protective JC, friends to lovers, misunderstandings)

For you by 10thNoNamePerson (T, 16k, WangXian, Cloud Recesses Study Arc, Cloud Recesses Shenanigans, Canon Divergence, No War AU, Fluff and Hurt/Comfort, Jealous WWX, Soft WangXian, Teenage LWJ/Teenage WWX, No Sunshot Campaign)

Straight at the Sun by diamondbruise (E, 33k, WangXian, Canon Universe, no war though, Mutual Pining, Pining while fucking, Misunderstandings, First Time, Anal Sex, wwx desperately wants lwj's attention, lwj desperately wants to marry wwx, Miscommunication, Jealousy, in abundance, Happy Ending, Top LWJ/Bottom WWX)

~*~

12. Itmf fics that deal with wwx caring about kids (esp canon era), adopting fostering having an official or unofficial ward, looking out for street children in any way he can even in little ways as a kid etc

🔒❤️ Joy In the Midst of These Things Series by Glitterbombshell (T/G, 53k, WangXian, Angst with Happy Ending, Post-Canon, Teacher WWX, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff) wwx teaches Lan kids stuff

the low sky, raining over by chibilwj (thelogicoftaste) (M, 37k, WangXian, Post-Canon, Established Relationship, Kid Fic)

❤️ Attempting the Impossible by Ariaste for williedustice (T, 36k, WangXian, JC & WWX, Post-Canon, Yunmeng Bros Reconciliation, Adoption, Family Fluff, Kid fic, Family drama, Fluff, 🔒[PODFIC] Attempting the Impossible by Ariaste by lunatique)

He never had a plan, he just went with the flow by CrazyGeek_TheGachatuber15 (Not Rated, 65k, WIP, XiYao, WangXian, Gusu Lan Elders Bashing, LXC Bashing, LXC gets his shit together, Twin Prides of Yunmeng Dynamics, Twin Prides of Yunmeng Are Bad at Communicating, Twin Jades of Lan Dynamics, WWX is Good With Children, Water Spirit WWX, Deity WWX, Good Sibling JYL, Protective NHS, Scheming NHS, BAMF LSZ, Angry LSZ, Good Friend LSZ, Demonic Cultivator LSZ, but not really?, WWX Creates a Sect | Yiling Wei Sect, accidentally, MXY Lives, JRS Lives, OP WWX, Deity LSZ, Inventor WWX, slight OOC behavior, Canonical Character Death - WWX, Future Character Death, Canon Divergence) In it WWX founded an orphanage before the war and is now, after his death, gathering homeless children to bring there and visits them when he's not traveling. The last few chapters were about it, kind of (currently has 9 chapters)

🧡 Vow by draechaeli (E, 216k, WangXian, Canon Divergence, BeliefGod!WWX, Adoption but WWX birthed them all, Pregnancy Kink, Mpreg, minor male lactation, Consensual Non-Consent, Light Bondage, Non-Graphic Rape/Non-Con because JGS, Mentions Canon Typical Incest, Canon Typical Violence)

~*~

13. Hi! I love this blog. I was looking for fics where LWJ considers his love wholeheartedly rejected and/or unrequited and as the reader, you feel his pain viscerally. I’ve found some fics like this which I adore like - “it’s always open” by Scarlettstorm, “heart at ease” by Diamondbruise and “A little late (but can I come home anyway?)” by Anobtra (animeobsessedtrash) - but am always interested in more!

Thank you!

~*~

14. helloooo! could i have time travel fanfics where they DON'T end up in their younger bodies? that's it. they teleport as they are, in their future selves. the future can be from whichever arc and teleported to any arc in the past. whichever canon is fine, angst is fine. i'd prefer it completed and somewhat humor but i'll take whatever i can get. i trust this blog's fine tastes. c:

i just really want fics where they co-exist with their younger selves because i don't know how to tag it separately from the "wake up in their younger self" fanfics. thank you very much! @lovewly

💖 From the Future for the Past by friedchickenlord (G, 27k, WangXian, Canon Divergence, Time Travel Fix-It, First Love, Love Confessions, Fluff and Humor, accidental time travel due to one husband malfunctioning array, teen wangxian meet adult wangxian, Happy Ending, adding extra chapter, in this household we hate JGS, in which WWX love library pavilion, (in a way) Yiling Laozu x Hanguang Jun, Denial, Mutual Pining) Adult LWJ finds himself in the CRSA era due to a mishap with an array

River Stones by littlesystems (M, 18k, WangXian, Time Travel, Post-Canon, Cloud Recesses Study arc, Junior Quartet, Oblivious WWX, Suffering LWJ, Voyeurism) Both CRSA-era WWX & LWJ go forward in time & meet post-canon WX

there's a story on Tumblr with JC who time travels. I don't know how to link it, but you can find it on this blog under fic compilation -> non AO3 (the second one is Tumblr) and then by scrolling all the way down to the master post from Shana storyteller. The fic is just titled "Time travel Jiang Cheng" (link is to the latest part - mod c)

Song of Joy and Regrets by HelloKitten (Not Rated, 134k, wangxian, hualian, WIP, TGCF, Angst, Self-Harm, Child Abuse, characters watching their series, Time Travel Fix-it)

Key Differences by pupeez4eva (T, 5k, WangXian, Humor, Dimension Travel, Crossover, Drama!WWX meets Novel!WWX, Public Confessions, Post-Canon) sort of fits in that it's Novel Wei Wuxian meeting Drama Wei Wuxian, resulting in hilarity.

~*~

15. Hi Mods! Can I get SongXIao Fic recs please? Like main pairing SongXiao fic recs?

~*~

16. Itmf a fic where wei wuxian adopts a 2nd child (or more). So it's not just a-yuan. Esp if it's a developed oc. Ex: twelve moons and a fortnight (oc a-shui), please take this radish (xue yang), mxy, others, etc

~*~

17. hiii!! itmf!! is there any modern au fics where wei ying makes lan zhan jealous on purpose?? @yesibest

Wei Ying's Favourite Customer by QueenofThyme (T, 3k, WangXian, Modern, Coffee Shops & Cafés, Barista WWX, Jealous LWJ, Texting, Fluff, Flirting, Mutual Pining, Multi POV)

~*~

If you didn’t get an answer to your ask here, don’t forget to make use of @mdzs-kinkmeme and MDZS KINK MEME on Dreamwidth. Authors actually do use them for ideas. You may get what you order!***Your prompt doesn’t have to be kink! Fluff, crack, whatever - it’s all good!***

[crimson-and-clover-1717]

The first time I saw Stede held at gunpoint by Chauncey, I believed it might be a night terror. They’re repeating the Nigel guilt-ghost motif, I thought. Or even his fever-induced nightmares. This is what Stede does. Big emotions writ large shouting the worst parts of his self-loathing. The words Chauncey says is probably the exact noise playing in Stede’s head. In fact he ‘completely agree[s]’. The repeated death-injury to the eye, and Stede’s subsequent amnesic journey home, barefoot in underclothes, just seemed to play out perfectly as a full-blown, hallucinatory panic-attack.

And then I realised the consensus was this event likely occurs, it truly happens within the narrative. Stede also remembers both Badminton brothers alongside the line ‘I’ve been the cause of death.’

Fast forward to 204, and Stede doesn’t mention the event to Ed during the couch scene. I’ve said before it wasn’t the right time to say ‘…but, Chauncey’. However, it did happen, didn’t it? And Stede does need to tell Ed eventually. Because then it might mitigate some of Stede’s responsibility… right?

Well, I’m not sure we’re looking at it from the best angle.

Chauncey arriving at the barracks to kill Stede is likely meant to be understood as real within the fictional setting of the show. But this is a magical realist world, and Chauncey’s turning up did not occur in the same way as it would in our reality. There is a different significance and meaning.

I think two seemingly-contrary things can exist here: Chauncey really did show up of his own choice, and Stede is somewhat responsible for his showing up, because this could be read as a metaphysical event. Stede partly manifests Chauncey. The show often uses mirrors as a way of exploring identity, and Stede is right in the middle of an identity crisis. Chauncey is an accurate reflection of Stede’s internal chaos, a judgmental dark angel on his shoulder. And until Stede is able to go back to Bridgetown, and deal with the guilt and mess of leaving his family, Badminton brothers, cousins, and half-uncles are going to keep showing up, insulting Stede at the deepest level, then Darwining themselves in front of him.

The lesson here, I think, is we help create our own reality: if you do what you’ve always done, you’ll get what you’ve always got. Stede needs to change his internal narrative to free himself from this twisted pattern.

It’s not that Stede deserves the bullying of the Badminton brothers; he absolutely doesn’t. But his state of mind lays the groundwork for the external manifestation of his thoughts within this universe. Chauncey is the personification of Stede’s self-loathing, and Stede co-creates the situation, somehow drawing Chauncey (and Nigel) towards him. As a character within a fictional world we are being asked to watch Stede’s transformation after this event, and one of those changes is his breaking this particular cycle.

That is why I’m not too bothered if Stede ever tells Ed about Chauncey. Like someone once said similarly of god, if Chauncey didn’t exist, it might be necessary for Stede to invent him. Chauncey’s intervention gives Stede a sort of permission to act as he does. There is no mitigation for Stede here. He has to own it, no matter how distorted his thinking at the time; and he does just that to Ed later without resorting to sackcloth and ashes.

The complexity of what happens that night might well be outside of physical reality. It’s Ed returning from the gravy basket largely unscathed. Or Buttons becoming a bird. It isn’t easy to understand fully because the laws that govern our reality are suspended here. But our role as viewers isn’t to reach a definitive conclusion or worry ourselves in circles over narrative gaps. It’s to consider what the Chauncey event triggers and then leads to.

This is Stede’s rock-bottom. From here on in, we see character growth in which Stede overcomes a good portion of the self-loathing lurking within his soul, replacing it with a kinder internal narrative, and helping him in turn to love and be loved. And Stede has also hopefully exorcised the possibility of any future Badminton visitations.

Stede returns, and he returns a better man than he left because he did much of the internal work he needed to do.

He changes his stars - and Ed’s. That’s all that matters.

[warydoom]

Welcome to the Void They say if you gaze long into an abyss, the abyss also gazes into you.

Well, I did. And it turns out the abyss is surprisingly cozy, has excellent wifi, and is absolutely wallpapered with AO3 tabs. Welcome to my blog!

This is my little corner of the internet for all things fan-made and brainrot-inducing. Expect a chaotic mix of fic snippets, incoherent screaming about character arcs at 3 AM, reblogs of god-tier fanart, and meta that is three parts literary analysis and seven parts pure, unfiltered obsession.

If you've found your way here, let's get acquainted.

About the Proprietor of This Particular Void

Alias: Void

Pronouns: She/her

Current Status: A feral creature fueled by iced coffee and the emotional devastation of my favorite fictional characters. Probably procrastinating on something important by being here.

My Writer's DNA // A.K.A. My Favorite Tropes This is the kind of stuff you can expect me to write and reblog with reckless abandon. If you send me a prompt, odds are it'll get infused with one of these:

Found Family: My absolute beloved. Give me a mismatched crew of traumatized weirdos, emotionally constipated soldiers, or reluctant heroes who bicker endlessly but would burn down the world for each other. The more dysfunctional the bonds and the more they refuse to admit they care, the better.

Hurt/Comfort & Whump: The absolute cornerstone of this establishment. This is the whump-to-hurt/comfort pipeline, and the pipes are clean and the water pressure is phenomenal. Let's put our blorbos through the emotional and physical wringer. Break a bone, catch a nasty non-magical flu, get captured, have a full-blown panic attack about it later. Why? So another character can find them, patch them up, and deliver the quiet, tender care they both desperately need. This is the good stuff.

Angst With a Purpose: I'm not here for pointless misery. I'm here for the good, artisanal angst. The pining, the yearning, the miscommunication that actually makes sense, the painful self-realizations, the "I'm not good enough for you" speeches that get proven wrong. But it has to lead somewhere—usually to one of the tropes mentioned above.

Enemies/Rivals to Lovers: The delicious, slow-burn knife-to-throat-to-kissing pipeline. I want the tension, the begrudging respect, the moment one of them realizes "oh no, they're hot AND competent," and the eventual chaotic collapse into feelings.

Canon Divergence / Fix-It Fic: That one canon event that broke me? No it didn't. In this house, we have ✨creative differences✨ with canon. I am the benevolent and sometimes wrathful god of my own AUs, and I am here to fix what was so cruelly broken.

There Was Only One Bed: The classic. The legend. It will never not be funny or fraught with delicious tension. Bonus points if one of them is an absolute blanket hog.

Coffee Shop & Flower Shop & Tattoo Parlour AUs: (Peak comfort. Not much else to say)

The "Everybody Lives" Mandate (No Major Character Death)

Let me be crystal clear: I am not here to hurt you (or me) permanently.

Canon can kill off whoever it wants; in this house, we write fix-its and everyone gets therapy. I will whump my blorbos until the heat death of the universe, but at the end of the day, they are all getting tucked into bed, possibly with a cup of tea and a heated blanket. I'm allergic to tragic endings and I do not write major character death.

If you're looking for that, you've stumbled into the wrong corner of the abyss. This is a recovery ward, not a morgue.

The Fandoms That Have Claimed My Soul

If you're into any of these, we're probably going to get along just fine.

Anime & Manga

Jujutsu Kaisen: My brainrot has its own Infinite Void. Come scream about Gojo, Geto, and the disaster that is Yuji Itadori with me.

My Hero Academia: Either Class 1-A is causing chaos that requires a group text, or Shota Aizawa needs a 72-hour nap. There is no in-between.

Haikyuu!!: My emotional support volleyball boys. Here for the team dynamics, the rivalries, and the pure, concentrated friendship.

Attack on Titan: Come for the giant man-eating monsters, stay for the crushing generational trauma and political philosophy. It's a fun time!

One Piece: I have sold my soul to a rubber pirate and his found family of weirdos, and I have zero regrets. The One Piece IS REAL!

Avatar: The Last Airbender: The OG masterpiece. Bending, found family, and the greatest redemption arc of all time. (Politely, this is a No Korra Zone.)

Comics // Where It All Started

DC & Marvel: My interests are basically the Bat-Family's collective therapy bill, the MCU's aggressive "we are a family" agenda, and the Spider-Verse's beautiful, angsty identity crises.

Film, Books & Ineffable Husbands

Star Wars: Give me Jedi having emotional breakdowns, clones deserving a retirement plan, and morally grey people making bad decisions in space.

Our Flag Means Death & Good Omens: The corner of the blog where soft pirates and ineffable demons have permanently rearranged my brain chemistry.

Lord of the Rings: I believe in the supremacy of Second Breakfast and the unwavering loyalty of Samwise Gamgee.

Harry Potter / Wizarding World: The Marauders Era is my Roman Empire. I like the kids too, but Marauders is my Sandbox Therapy. Coincidentally, also partial to any AU where they all just get therapy instead of becoming tragic heroes.

Percy Jackson & The Olympians: The gods are parents and the kids are paying for it. In a fun, adventure-road-trip kind of way!

The Hunger Games: I am here for the dystopian commentary and rebellion, but I want to be very clear: WE ARE GIVING THEM HAPPY ENDINGS IN THIS HOUSE. I am the benevolent god of this blog; Peeta gets to bake his bread in peace.

Sherlock (BBC): For the high-functioning sociopaths and the bloggers who love them. The mind palace is *REAL*.

Game of Thrones / A Song of Ice and Fire: Ah yes, the one with the dragons, the direwolves, and the frankly irresponsible amount of character culling. I am here for the political backstabbing, the world-building, and to apply my "Everybody Lives" mandate with the force of a tactical nuke. The Starks deserved a goddamn family reunion, and in this void, they're going to get one.

Games & The Grimdark Future

Resident Evil: Why is everyone so ridiculously hot while fighting eldritch bioweapons? It's a genuine, scientific question.

Call of Duty: Task Force 141 lives in my head rent-free, and I'm pretty sure my personality is now 15% Ghost's stoicism and 85% Soap's terrible jokes.

Warhammer 40,000: FOR THE EMPEROR! Come for the dudes in giant power armor, stay for the psychic shenanigans, the glorious legions, and the primal joy of a good WAAAGH!

Navigating The Abyss // Tags & Rules

Tagging: I do my best to tag for major triggers and spoilers! General chat is usually #the void talks, fics are tagged by the main ship/fandom they are in, and random stuff Probably doesn't need a tag? (I'm new here, this may be subject to changes)

DNI: The usual applies—if you're a bigot (racist, homophobic, transphobic, etc.), a TERF, or just here to start discourse fires, please see yourself out. The void does not want you. This is a pro-fiction space for fun and brainrot.

So, pull up a chair. The abyss is vast and full of stories. My ask box is always open for prompts, questions, or just screaming into the void together.

Let's see what gazes back.

[thecomfywriter]

sike yall i'm back.

did i ever post this? if not, merry christmas ig idk

tov lore facts

⋆༺𓆩⚔𓆪༻⋆

there's a deleted scene of her and cara giving each other massages during a spa day. as a result, when she went to train fire magic with alan later on and she set herself on fire, she started to sizzle, causing alan to panic and push her into a fountain. she was not pleased.

cara is a better swimmer than morreial because she spent most of her childhood underwater and, as a result, can fill her lungs with water and stop breathing to switch into her amphibian mode

there's a deleted scene of alan that was too dark to share because it was one of the more cruel things he did to his friends, something he doesn't really do otherwise. he induced a panic attack in morreial by triggering his ptsd in order to get him to reveal some damning information about himself whil he (alan) eavesdropped on his argument (morreial) with his parent's (the jervees). at the end of it, he ends up trying to blame the alter ego when the guilt kicks in, only for the other voice to respond with, "what are you talking about? i told you to leave ten minutes ago.”

he learns to swim from morreial and trusts him like a brother

morreial was my token traumatized character before younger me realized that it is NOT okay to have a token traumatized character. as a result, morreial's trauma responses are more typical of a clinical ptsd diagnosis. interestingly enough, he is the only oc in tov to cope with his trauma in a healthy and productive way, as he canonically goes to therapy

the reasons behind morreial’s infantile memory retention (he remembers being a baby vividly) is explicitly explored and explained in draft 3. every draft afterwards removes the explanation, so you never get the confirmed revelation of how he remembers everything (the basis of his trauma tbh)

i changed morreial’s name six times and at a certain point, at 7am before getting ready for school in the winter, i got frustrated and hyphenated all the names i could remember. hence morreial. just smooshed them all together

morreial was the antagonist of draft 2

there is CANONICALLY a rumour that evan is actually morreial's illegitimate child because of how SIMILAR they are

evan’s love language is making people necklaces and jewellery with the stones he mines

my fav evan arcs ranked:

evan in the rings (eoj)

tc arc (cos)

evan in the north (gotn)

evan, slayer of ividor (soc)

evan of the hollow (lotf)

the timelines and eras of soilaila are as follows:

the zaverenian era

the dragon era

the nainorean era

the cairoyas era

the limious era (aka the era of limiouses)

the transitional era (aka the post-incident period)

the singer era

the word ‘el in galka means “of”. due to the morphological changes to the cairoyas tongue and vocal chords in the beginning of the cairoyas era, the pronounciation of soilaila was originally “soi’el aila,” which means “land of the elemental deities”

there are motifs with the numbers 5 and 7 due to both of those numbers being my favourites (7 more than 5); 5 families of the zaverena, the arcane family being the 5th; the five members of the ____ family; the 5 elemental deities; the 5 heavenly deities; the 12 chapters of the arcanic scriptures (7+5); the 7 eras; the 5 nobility statuses; the 5 branches of hellash; the 5 sins; the 5 stages; the 5 breeds, etc…

people in soilaila are called “cairoyas”, which is a supernatural species capable of magic from the families of soilaila

most people have a specialty magic, but never discover it

the average age to discover one’s specialty magic is 12 years old

the year of nain is a milestone age in cairoyas culture, symbolizing the transition into adulthood and magical maturity (since that is the age in which a person niches into a specific magical family)

a child from parents of 2 different families will only inherit the magic of one, but will be capable of both until their year of nain; after their year of nain, whichever family their specialty magic hails from is their innate dominant family

the original year of nain was 14 years old before i aged it up to 18

the cairoyas do not have last names due to the century naming rule

the century naming rule is the law that states no two people can share the same name in soilaila; everyone must have a unique name and cannot reuse a name until the turn of a new century (i.e. there are no other alan’s that have been born within the last century because the name had to have been reserved only for him during his mother’s pregnancy)

the expecting mark is a temporary runic tattoo expecting mothers / pregnant women receive that support prenatal health of the mother and the child, as well as marks the mother’s eligibility to prenatal services (free healthcare, prenatal nutrition, magical enhancements and support, on-call doctors+midwives, and a reservation of two names per biological genders for the century naming rule)

it is against the law for a pregnant woman to not receive an expecting mark if she chooses to keep the child, as it is considered a form of child endangerment

the end of the limious era was marked by hilbert’s betrayal, as he became the first and only limious to ever lose his title

limiouses get a decade life extension for every year of service

hilbert had been a limious for 60 years before he lost his title, earning him 600 years of extra lifespan

the man to train hilbert into a limious was a man by the name of coze limious

when a person becomes branded as a morregal, their blood turns black, they begin internally bleeding and sometimes even vomit their original blood until it is entirely replaced with morregal blood, and they get an M engraved into their forehead through black magic. the entire process is torturously painful and results in the loss of all cairoyas rights and identity. including one’s name. the original name is conjoined with the brand “gal” (i.e. if a man named sebastian ended up being a gal, they would call him sebagal after his branding)

gal is considered a slur in soilaila, while the full word morregal is criminalized to use unless you are von doro or jer’vazir

minor titles of nobility are often destined through suffixes (i.e. ra, ja) whereas larger titles have their own prefixes or statuses (JQ, JE, J, JV, etc.)

in order to join the military ranks, you must abandon all other titles you possess (i.e. a ja that becomes a member of the military would lose their ja status); this is how raheer ends up losing his ja status and why evan is prohibited from enlisting

in lotf, the soilailan militia operates discreetly under jervee amara’s supervision

the el- prefix is used for nobles who married into their titles rather than earning them; for example, if jervee revenold was not a jervee on his own, but married riyzela and became a jervee through matrimony, he would be called el-jervee revenold instead

the only exceptions to the el- status demotion is with El-Hycan and El-Nooz

inen’s are the title for people capable of becoming a limious, whereas inene’s are inen candidates (remember what i said about the process being more thorough now? they learned from their mistakes lmao)

echoe and myuk are inene’s and should be referred to as echoe ne // echoe-ne and myuk-ne // myuk-ne. despite this, evan only ever refers to them as echoe and myuk

the original reason why evan doesn’t like myuk is because in ditm, she steals from him thinking he wouldn’t notice (he does.)

ditm is the acronym for the blueprint of the entire lotf series, which was originally just one book. it stands for “diamond in the mud” and refers to evan’s sword, which has many parallels with him in that version of the story

ditm was basically an epic because it was cos (cos+gotn) & eoj (eoj+mott) combined

soc’s original premise was meant to take place in the present day. for reference, tov takes place in the 1500s for the human calendar, and lotf takes place in the 1600s. soc’s of plot was set to take place in the 2000s.

ditm was named diamond in the mud as a parallel to evan’s xena sword, which holds a significantly less amount of importance in the lotf series. since the xena sword is a brilliant but violent diamond that blinds anyone that looks at it during its peak reflection, is found in mud swamps in the deep caverns of soilaila’s underbellies, tucked and hidden away, are rare, and incredibly powerful and lethal, it was meant to be a parallel to evan, who was a hidden child created in filth and yet horrifically lethal, beautiful, and powerful. a stone of the gods, as some people called it. and the material of yozar’s sceptre

in draft 3 of tov, caramel’s trauma and its relation to her stealing and illiteracy was more explored as you discovered the reason why she hates the schooling system, steals despite not needing to, and how she uses these survival skills as crutches or coping mechanism to deal with her constant feeling of social insecurity

there’s a deleted scene in draft 3 in which it’s revealed why cara still works a laborious job despite being wealthy (thanks to caramel): she was distributing all her earnings to the abandoned orphans of the vanin ring in order to fund their educations and ensure none of them ended up like her. when morreial discovers this fact, not only does he join her, but drafts up and submits a bill proposal to the jervees to set up publically funded orphanages and schoolings for the orphans who lost their families during the incident. the jervees actually turn down this proposition, which results in a fight between morreial and his parents, the very fight that alan takes advantage of to enter morreial’s mind

draft 3 showcased the preferential treatment alan got over everyone in soilaila by the jervees, including favouritism over their own son (morreial). this is a big reason why draft 3 morreial is so snarky and resentful of alan

draft 2 had a scene where alan and morreial went dolphin riding together and ended up racing each other. alan won, and morreial was pissy for the rest of their trip.

due to the campiness of the draft and the presence of “theatrical morreial”, draft 3 has an extremely quotable scene that i still mention randomly // burst out into to this day. it is when they are walking in a desert, morreial starts cosplaying as a god to prove a point to alan, and then proceeds to point to the skies, trying to beckon rain and thunder (because he’s a water dancer), and yells on the top of his lungs, “let us WALK!” but because it’s a desert and there are no clouds, he gets nothing, and he ended up shamefully putting his arm back down and grumbling at alan to get a move on instead.

the warehouse scene™️ in the og og draft is homologous to the ruins scene in the canon draft of sai, except in that draft, alan allows the dragon to try to fly away before shooting it down (kinda more horrifying when you think about it. he watched it fall to make sure it died after giving it false hope of survival)

in draft 2, alan doesn’t kill à black dragon in the ruins, but he does come back to the villa the next day and kills morreial in front of everyone.

draft 2-4 had a confrontation as the pre-climax scene, where markum, alan, caramel, cara, morreial, and hilbert were all sitting in a room trying not to strangle each other. when von doro joins the conversation, everyone fails and proceeds to jump hilbert

in draft 2-4, morreial’s blood was integral to breaking the magic ban. that’s the reason why von doro wants him so bad (to the point of shattering his mind in the process oops)

[lazaruspiss]

Do you know what side effects of the pit are actually canon

Typically it's safer to assume no on most pit side effects. Or ask yourself "do people also say this about Talia, Ra's, etc or is this just a Jason fan thing"

Red Hood: Lost Days is your best bet for clearing up what's canon vs fanon in terms of Jason's resurrection, but I'll try and summarize the important bits.

1) The pit is not what brought Jason back. A superman from an alternate timeline punched the timeline itself so hard that it accidentally revived Jason.

2) Jason ended up in a hospital for a while before he escaped and wandered the streets for five months. He doesn't have any memories aside from his muscle memory, so he can fight but not much else. He can't communicate at all and only reacts to things to defend himself or to manage physical needs.

(Side note. Talia cares so much about him it makes me wanna cry.)

3) Ra's tells Talia this is over. He thinks Talia's attempts to save Jason are part of a desperate attempt to make Bruce love her, and tells her it's over. This is when Talia resorts to using the pit. Jason is alive, mute, doesn't seem to remember much, but still showed extremely small signs of recognition. I do think Jason could have eventually recovered naturally under Talia's care. He would have still been disabled to some extent and his progress would be excruciatingly slow, but it does seem like it would have been possible if Ra's hadn't cut it off.

4) After bringing Jason to the pit Talia guides him to make a break for it. She has him take a survival kit and run into the river in order to escape Ra's' anger. Ra's is the first instance of anyone implying the pit made Jason mad, and Talia immediately shoots him down and says it has had no such affect. Ra's is also speaking out of anger and giving Talia a hard time. I wouldn't take his words about it seriously.

5) Jason does not go "mad". He is mad. Because his murderer is alive. He is not irrational. His reactions are not disproportionate or unusual. After the pit restores his brain functions he is incredibly strategic. Even through the grief he is thinking and planning. He never acts on blind rage, pit induced or otherwise.

But that's just the New Earth timeline. Prime Earth/N52 gave him magic resistance or something. Unrelated to the pit he also seems to have just learned some magic. He can do a magic punch and summon swords that can only be used on beings of pure evil.

Gotham Knights is the funniest one. They needed a fast travel method for him for gameplay reasons and gave him magical bunny hops. GK has the most shit going on with the lazarus pits:

1) repeated use gradually drives you nuts. Jason is fine, Talia is a bit wacky, and Ra's is completely off the deep end before the game even starts.

2) the fast travel abilities are still funny. Talia can turn into mist and Jason can do magic jumps.

3) Jason got magic punches and Talia can do all sorts of fun magic attacks.

4) the pit magic reacts to Jason's trauma/panic attacks, but still doesn't seem to cause them or any other emotional reactions. Even the fanon pile that is GK doesn't have pit rage.

[blublurz]

1.6k words. ben tennyson/fem reader. requested and cross-posted on wattpad in '23.

This was not supposed to happen.

None of this was supposed to happen.

It was a wonder Ben, Gwen, and Max were able to stay so tolerant of her whenever she had episodes like this.

[name] so desperately wants to blame it on the years of experimentation; what felt like a lifetime of poking and prodding at her body. Her emotions had been disregarded and forced into a bubble the size of an atom, making her curse all the more powerful.

She wants to so, so desperately— but she can't.

It was her fault.

It was all her fault.

Whoever was in this tiny, suffocating bubble was becoming sick, both mentally and physically. It wasn't enjoyable to watch or experience, she could confidently say.

She didn't even know how to get rid of the effect.

Removing her hands from their cupped position over her face, she takes a glance around her self-induced prison before covering them again.

It was more of a maze rather than a bubble now that she was able to see; it didn't do anything to ease the panic that surged through her, but now she knew.

Gods— or whatever's in the heavens that may be inhabiting it— hear her when she says it was so, so, so quiet. [name] can so vividly remember the screams of agony (or excitement? Her magic manipulated the sounds) that came from everyone that got sucked into the bubble— maze— thing.

(Was she the God of this world?)

Where did they go?

She'd kill just to have someone near her.

(Wasn't that why she was in this predicament now? Because all she wanted was to be left—)

"Yo! Anyone in here? Preferably not one of the thirteen demons I passed on the way here? I mean, it's not like they attacked me— not sure why— but they were kinda.."

Gods, she wished for a noise (music, or something); not Ben. Anything but Benjamin Kirby Tennyson.

Nothing good would come if he saw her like this.

There are more than a few moments of silence from Ben wherever he is.

That silence scares [name].

Was he okay? Did those supposed demons get him? She'd like to believe they didn't, she knows he mentioned them not bothering him, but she doesn't want to risk anything.

Should she stand and try to find him? She was stronger than him in more than one way, Omnitrix (excluding Alien X) or not.

No. Whatever demon was out there could turn their sights away from whoever or whatever they were focused on. She very much didn't want that to happen, whether she could crush them into a comically small cube with her magic or not.

Maybe she could try and drop whatever maze everyone was trapped in. The only issue was that she didn't know where they were.

Were they in the middle of the ocean, down in the deepest depths where no one would survive if she were to dispel the maze? In the Earth's core, her magic the only thing keeping their immediate and inevitable deaths from happening? Were they in space, maybe the Null Void where they'd be attacked by the thousands of incarcerated prisoners, or Petropia where their exposed bodies would immediately turn into the same crystals that the Petrosapiens' were made of?

Fat chance.

(That was not the only issue. She didn't know if she had the energy to expend without dying or passing out.)

(To be truthful, dying would be much preferred than being forced to live with the consequences of everything.)

"I dunno if it's the angle I'm at, but you're a lot smaller than I remember."

[name] lets out a groan (or whine?) against her will. She doesn't know how Ben found her, but he did and she isn't pleased.

She doesn't even know how he found her. If the dizzy and disoriented feeling that filled the front of her mind told her anything, then the walls of the maze were shifting as though it were one of those five hundred sides Rubicks Cubes.

When Ben makes his way to [name] (up, down, slide, climb— directions were all too confusing for her), he doesn't move as though she were some fragile piece of pottery that needed to be repaired with powdered gold; his body exuded that same, everyday normality he approached everything with.

[name] doesn't know whether she was thankful or not.

"Go away," she croaks, hands covering her face. The tears came down burned and she can't help but feel as though she deserved it. "I'll infect you too."

"I'm good." Ben doesn't have any issues making himself comfortable beside her even if the cold, hard floor makes it hard to. "I'm not scared of getting a little sick," he hums, turning his body so it instead faced hers.

Trying her best not to flinch when his arms wrap around her, [name] allows Ben to pull her into his lap. It's an easy feat for him, years of doing the heavy lifting as a human and any alien he could transform into.

Ben tucks [name]'s head under his chin. The heat he let off was a nice contrast to the chill that overtook the alcove she was in. She would've huddled into him if it weren't for the fear that seemed to perpetually take over her body.

"What is it, princess?" Ben's words finally manage to make [name] push her face into the crook of his chin and neck.

Words fail her. Her mind was both racing and had slowed to a halt, cohesive thoughts making it difficult to think of anything to say. Her lips move as though the ghost of something tries to get past her throat, the swollen feeling of it instead keeping everything in.

"I don't— I don't know," she whines, burying her face closer to his shirt to keep tears from instead falling on his skin. [name] shakes her head against Ben's shoulder; her body felt as though it was lit aflame with her migraine and ghost pain. "I can't— I don't.. It just—"

Ben's hand rubs up and down her back, trying to encourage her to put out the literal flame that had found itself there. "You're good, you're good," he hums.

His murmurs of reassurance continue until her breathing calms. His hand doesn't stop until she's able to lie down without the hitches in her lungs. He doesn't move until she's ready to, keeping his arms loosely wrapped around her extended arms.

"D'you wanna walk me through it?"

[name] shakes her head. She doesn't think she could remember it even if she actively tried; and even if she did, nothing good would happen if she did. It'd probably take over the country if it hadn't already.

(Ha! She can imagine the extensive damage that would happen to the world if it kept on. It wouldn't be preferable, but the possibility was still looming over her head.)

(Was she manifesting it now? Was thinking about it making it happen?)

(Stopstopstopstopstopstopstopstop—)

"'m tired," [name] grunts. Emotionally, physically, mentally, all of it. She wanted to sleep— or better yet hibernate, like a bear. Or a frog. Whichever slept the longest.

Either way, it's not like she could fall asleep now. The adrenaline pumping through her blood was too much to calm down anytime soon.

Ben lets out an empathetic noise of acknowledgment. "I am too. D'you think you can make everything normal yourself, or do you want some help?"

"I have it, I think."

"Yeah?"

"Most likely not."

He stands and brings [name] with him, supporting her weight when her legs almost buckle beneath the lack of use and crippling fear.

"Falling for me already?" Ben's quip is said without much thought, the realization that now wasn't the time dawning as soon as fall left his mouth. It'd be weird to not finish it. "That love spell must finally be working."

When [name] doesn't respond or look up at him. He much would've preferred a slap, push, or curse from her, psyching himself for when his honey under-the-tongue trick failed.

(He'd never admit he went snooping through Gwen's spellbook. It'd be humiliating if anyone found out he was looking through it for personal reasons and not for his own protection.)

"Yeah," [name] croaks, "it is."

Ben's voice is a higher pitch than he intends for it to be when he repeats her words. "It is," sounds more like a gasp. He tries to cover it up with a smug "it better be," and a stupid smile.

[name] can't say she hates the feeling of Ben pressing his lips to the top of her head, but she worries the nervous knots and frizziness that had formed earlier would be a turn-off.

He doesn't comment if it does.

"You ready, pretty girl?" One of Ben's hands returns to the small of her back, a guiding gesture as she prepares to reverse the hex.

Shaking her head, [name] takes a steadying breath and focuses on the magic that surrounds them. "No," she mutters, already working to undo the intricate webbing of the mess. "But," she adds with more confidence, "we will be talking about that little love spell when we get somewhere safe."

"No!" Ben's response is a hiss. He calms himself when she gives him a furrowed brow. "No. Take all the time you need. Unless we're talking about the date we're taking after this, then we can drop the thing entirely."

[cc-orbits-my-brain]

CAMP CAMP OC LESGOOOOOOO

Still working on them but here's a few things about them! :]

They have several names but they mostly go by Rax! They're ageless due to the fact they were created by Harrison's magic when he and Nerris were goofing off, and he summoned a "cow... hippo... dog thing?" abomination. He doesn't remember though so no one knows this is why they exist HAHA.

David met them in The Forest ep! When he was attacked by that mother bear, she whacked him into a tree, and he went into another concussion 💀 Then he awoke to his wolf already dead feet away from fending off the bears, and a strange centaurish?? Child?? Poking him with a stick. They demanded he was their father. Dazed, David gave up on questioning them. He brought them back to camp, and they've been his velcro baby that drives him borderline insane with their frustrating and panic-inducing antics ever since, but he still loves them 💚 David's convinced he's adopted them but simply doesn't remember because of his concussion, and since they can't find records of Rax even ever existing, everyone's just like "Uh. Okay......."

Max is insanely jealous of the attention Rax gets from David. Also this creature is So Autistic and selectively mute. They're just a little guyyy :]

[snaxize]

I'm putting this under a readmore, I have love in my heart for 5 characters no one knows about ✊️

Anywho I've been with this group for nearly three years! And about a year ago our usual dm says hey, I want to take a break from [our other homebrew campaign], would we consider starting another main campaign to swap the two on and off with each other?

And of course we had been taking weeks off here and there to give them a break and doing one shots or non dnd game nights. This group is not about forever dming. BUT I had joined the group with like. The inkling of "maybe I could do that one day" if I got my nerve up and I DID.

Said DM had wanted to do curse of strahd for years beforehand, but wanted to be a player and not the one running the show. So I volunteered for it! And! I'm so glad I did.

Anywho on to the main part of why I think about my players so often and especially now. Our last session especially was so GOOD I love them my players are fantastic at this game. Spoilers ahead for anyone wanting to play the campaign for themselves, I've modified the game for my players but the basis remains.

Behold, our cast:

Valphyra (Val): She's our war cleric for the campaign- scourge aasimar, war veteran, her angelic guide picked her out of a crowd and said yeah she's got some righteous bloodlust lets go. I imagine her as permanently smelling like burning. miss girl has war trauma and a blunted caring streak.

Clarke: Goliath oath of the crown paladin, she is already an absolute monster on the field i ADORE HER. absolute goody two shoes on the outside but with one hell of a mean streak that's starting to come out more. her backstory makes me go feral. No one sane would call her a good cop.

Calliope: kenku bard, college of lore! a bit naive, a college student beset by the Horrors, shes turning out to be the bleeding heart of the group, and a vastly needed voice of "HEY we need to FIX the BAD THINGS going on". I've got so many secrets surrounding this character for her player to find out, not the least of which was her newly discovered link to the Keepers of the Feather.

Oberon: our second kenku, this time a shadow sorcerer! (my players had no communication outside of general classes so the double kenkus were complete accidents, they're a fun pair!) Oberon is not his real name, and this bird man is currently on the run from his prior position as an unwilling cult leader. Unfortunately i've put him right back into the cult politics in Vallaki, but he's doing well keeping his head above water!

Reilly: air genasi rogue/druid, circle of the stars. This is my skrunkly racoon of a teenager, with all of the social charm of having been raised in the woods for a couple years before being set to roam. Enclosed spaces and some jailtime in Vallaki are doing this one no favors. They have recently unlocked wildshape as an ability, and i'm sure will waste no time in making that everyone's problem.

I can and will go on tangents about their backstories in later posts, they are living in my mind rent free.

Last session specifically has me ecstatic, which might be odd considering the content? Most of it was RP, getting our druid out of jail before meeting back up at the inn to regroup and share information. the latter half of the session ended up in a LOT of in-character arguing over the subject of leaving the town to its fate (a hostile cult takeover) or coming to it's aid.

It's a split party at the moment, with Reilly/Oberon on the side of Just Bailing, Calliope/Val on What The Fuck No We're Helping, and Clarke solidly in the middle. (My players are all buying in, everyone is engaged, and I'm not worried about the plot falling through. they're just having a blast yelling at each other in the meantime)

And what a thing to be able to type those parenthesis. I'm not worried about my players derailing (too extremely off course, that is). I know they're going to find a way to engage with each others' characters, and i know they're going to find a way to engage with the plot. AND i'm not worried about all the in-character arguing bleeding over into irl hurt feelings or tension. that's!! really cool!

(I also enjoy the stark difference in the party dynamic between the campaigns. Our homebrew level 4 party would kill and die for each other and are making large purchases together. we just bought a baby triceratops. our strahd level 4 party is emotionally fraying at the seams and are at each others throats. veiled threats have happened more than once.)

These characters have So Many buttons for me to push and i'm actually having a very good time for this being my first 'full' DMing role. It is enrichment in my enclosure to write out descriptions for a cult meeting, or an hour long sequence of one on one scenes with each player, or playing 5d chess with magic items and faction politics and incorporating story hooks and and and.

I'm gonna write more after work tomorrow because OOUGH I LOVE THEM. many many daydreams about these 5 and the growing number of NPCs that have taken on a mind of their own.

in the meantime woe, wall of text be upon thee.

One note on this and I write an essay-long post about my curse of strahd campaign

[loveforaninstant]

the itch to immediately come up with a new wip is so strong. do i write the panic attack fic (one-shot, focuses on the fact that realistically no, his magic returning probably did not undo a decade of ptsd-induced night terrors and richter himself probably doesnt realize this until he has another nightmare and then panics about not being "better") or captured richter au (another vignette-style fic, hurt/comfort and recovery focus, an au where richter was kidnapped by the messiah's forces at fifteen years old and is left to die on alucard's doorstep two years later as a "present" from erzsebet--aka as proof that she can destroy everything he loves, including that little human family he abandoned)

[genderlessghoul]

Sad Phantom hc ahead, proceed with caution.

(TRIGGER WARNING, MENTION OF SA, TRAUMA AND PANIC ATTACKS )

Despite being part Quintessence ghoul himself, Phantom has a hard time trusting other Quint ghouls. He grew up in one of the worst habitable parts of Hell, surrounded by bad people willing to use any means possible to take advantage of younger ones.

He had met someone, a very charming Quintessence ghoul who was nothing but kind to him. They were older than Phantom and very eager to teach him how to use his powers when he was still struggling with it. They would start small, showing how to connect with his element, how to feel it in his own body, how to transfer it to his fingertips to be able to pass onto to someone else. They taught him how to cure headaches very fast, slowly moving on to other types of physical injuries. They showed him how to slip into other people's minds to help with anxiety and panic attacks, how to fog someone's brain just enough to get them pliant.

He doesn't remember much of what happened to him when they practiced it on him, not physically or mentally. He remembers the quintessence-induced numbness, not being able to move his limbs, only being able to emit sad protesting whimpers. He remembers hands on his body, touching him in places he knows they shouldn't have. He remembers waking up after. Alone. Naked. Used.

Broken.

That was the last time he ever saw them. It's probably for the best, all things considered. He isn't sure they would both walk away from this encounter, were it to happen.

He stopped trusting other ghouls to use their quintessence powers on him after that day.

Phantom was hesitant about Aether at first. The feeling subsided slowly once he realised how much the older ghoul cared for all his mates, acting very much like a father towards all of them. He started going up to him for advice on various tasks more and more and Aether gladly took the younger ghoul under his wings.

One day, Phantom woke up with a head-splitting migraine that kept him in bed all morning. Completely unable to process anything from the outside world and his only thoughts being "hurts, hurts, hurts".

Aether found him curled up on himself under a pile of blankets after he missed lunch. He tried to talk to the newly summoned ghoul but that one only replied in pained grunts. He reached out to him and put two fingers on his temple, sending out a wave of quintessence into Phantom to sooth his ache.

The younger ghoul practically jumped off the bed in response, cowering in the corner of his room like a beat dog and spiraling into a full blown panic attack. Aether didn't know what to make of it and just stared at him, completely shocked. The one thing he always used to make his mates feel better had just made the situation about a thousand times worse, what was he to do?

He brought a blanket to Phantom and wrapped him in it as best as he could and then just sat on the floor a few feet away from him until the panic attack faded. It took a while to get him talking but Phantom finally spilled it all out on Aether. The older ghoul apologized profusely to him, he truly did feel terrible about his faux-pas.

When he gets headaches, Aether fixes him a cup of hemp tea to help now. It's still very efficient and it doesn't trigger any panic attacks. Phantom goes to therapy to deal with his trauma, it's going fairly well. He now allows the other quintessence ghoul to graze him with his magic, just enough to send shivers across his skin.

They'll push a bit further eventuallyand it'll go well then, he knows it. Aether is so patient with him.

[quadrantadvisor]

Monster of the Week Mystery: Shadows in Unity

(I didn't see a better place to post the custom MOTW mystery that I ran, so onto Tumblr it goes.)

In the small town of Unity, Iowa, two teens mysteriously disappeared. More than one person in town has been messing with forces they didn't understand, and now the local corn maze is home to a being of great and terrible power, a Shadowling. This mystery works best in a campaign dealing with eldritch beings and cults.

Hook

The sudden and unexplained disappearance of two teenagers, in a town with hardly any crime to speak of. Their identities were kept out of the news, but it's the talk of the town that young lovers Aimee Schaffer and Ben Torello have either skipped town together, or had something horrible happen to them.

[My version of this mystery started with a scripted scene of the hunters overhearing a conversation about this between waitresses Maggie and Sharon at the Sideswipe Diner.]

Countdown

Day: The Shadowling possesses Ben's corpse to lure in new victims. It is spotted in town overnight.

Shadows: Farmer Neadbaum enters the corn maze in an attempt to perform a ritual and trap the monster. He is killed.

Sunset: Masha Torello stays up overnight to keep an eye out for her son. She spots him and follows him back to the cornfield, becoming another trapped victim of the Shadowling.

Dusk: Aimee is drained of all life and dies.

Nightfall: Sharon Maat and three of her friends, other teens from the local high school, plan to hang out in the cornfield at night to drink without getting caught. Sharon is killed and her friends are captured.

Midnight: The Shadowling's activity has garnered the attention of Nelson Neadbaum's former cult, the followers of The One Who Waits in Shadows. They catch the creature for their nefarious purposes.

Threats

Shadowling

Monster: Parasite (motive: possess, control, devour)

The Shadowling is a being from somewhere beyond this world, and it should not be on this plane of existence. It's form cannot be easily seen nor comprehended, more of a silhouette of shifting tentacle-like shapes. It is not an especially intelligent being, operating largely on instinct to attract more prey. It claims a space as it's own, a den of sorts, and that space becomes warped by it's very presence. In this case, that space is the corn maze, where it fled to after being summoned in Neadbaum's barn. The Shadowling is a timid creature, and uses it's den and the forms of other creatures to hide itself away from possible threats. Above all, the Shadowling's presence is a herald of a much greater evil.

Powers:

Intangible: Cannot be harmed by attacks that don't involve magic or one of its weaknesses.

Taste of Madness: Can alter a victim's senses to induce disorientation or panic.

Possession: Can inhabit the form of a human, a corpse, or another humanoid shape.

Attacks:

Life drain: 3-harm, ignore armor, hand

Armor: none

Harm capacity: 11

Weaknesses:

Fire and bright light can be used to force it to leave a host, to corral it, or to contain it.

A magical ritual can be used to banish it from this realm

Takes two days to research

Takes three people to cast

Must be cast in the presence of the monster

Takes 10 minutes to perform

Scarecrow (Possessed)

Minion: Assassin (motive: to kill the hunters)

A scarecrow made of burlap and denim, with a wide brim straw hat and no face. It hangs limp in front of the entrance to the corn maze. It moves with an unnerving swiftness and smoothness. It can be destroyed by fire.

Attacks:

Shears: 2-harm, hand, quiet

Strike: 0-harm, intimate

Harm Capacity: 5

Ben and Aimee (Possessed)

Minion: Renfield (motive: to push victims towards the monster)

The shadowling is using Ben and Aimee to lure more victims to its lair. Ben is clearly already dead, with two large puncture wounds in his torso that were inflicted by the shears. Aimee is filthy and covered in blood, but has no visible injuries. She is wearing a leather jacket that's a bit too big for her, presumably given to her by Ben before his death.

Attacks:

Unarmed strike: 0-harm, intimate

Harm Capacity:

Ben's corpse: 6

Aimee: 7, but has already taken 3 harm

Nelson Neadbaum

Minion: Guardian (motive: to bar a way or protect something)

Farmer Neadbaum is an older gentleman, perhaps in his 60s, and his hair and long mustace are beginning to grey. He is gruff with the hunters, but not openly hostile until he feels they are coming to close to his secrets. He wants to keep the hunters away from the Shadowling and out of his barn. He summoned the Shadowling in an attempt to communicate with The One Who Waits in Shadows, not expecting an unintelligent beast. It quickly escaped his containment measures, and he lost any control of the situation he may have had.

Neadbaum was once a member of the cult of The One Who Waits in Shadows, but was excommunicated from their ranks for having lofty ideas about using the god's power for himself, rather than serving it. He has been studying on his own ever since, and stewed in his solitude and self-righteousness, until meeting a sympathetic ear in Aimee, to who he tried to teach his ways.

Neadbaum's farm is the location of an annual corn maze, and this year, Aimee was volunteering to help run it as an after school activity.

Attacks:

Hunting knife: 1-harm, hand

Shotgun: 3-harm, close, messy

Harm Capacity: 7

Locations

Corn maze

Location: Den (motive: to harbour monsters)

The maze was poorly constructed/cut, making it difficult to tell what is meant to be a path and what is poorly spaced and/or trampled corn. If the hunters approach during the day, the light that falls over the corn wavers like a heat mirage. During the night, the shifting of the corn creates strange figures in their shadows.

Move: Navigate the Maze

If a hunter/the hunters would like to navigate the maze and the Shadowling is present within it, it uses its Taste of Madness to confuse and disorient the hunter(s).

Have a hunter roll +Weird. On a 10+, hold 2. On a 7-9, hold 1. Use a hold to mitigate one of the following effects.

Lose track of the exit

Lose track of your companion(s)

Discover nothing of consequence

On a 6-, the hunter who rolled is fully controlled/taken by the Shadowling.

Sideswipe Diner

Location: Crossroads (motive: to bring people and things together)

(The following is the start of a scripted scene written for the beginning of my own session, and may not be entirely applicable to yours. I've kept it here, in case it helps inspire you as to the tone of the mystery.]

"You are in a roadside diner. The outside looked a little run down, but when you entered you were pleasantly surprised to find the interior clean and lively. Your party of 5 [the number of hunters in our session] were seated easily together in a booth, with an extra chair on the end, of course. You're now enjoying the hot, greasy flavors of hometown America. It's a nice respite after miles and miles of nothing but Iowa cornfields. It's around 11 AM, and the sunlight through the windows is bright. It doesn't fool you, though. It's October, and you know that the wind chill bites."

Unity Police Station

Location: Fortress (motive: to deny entry)

The station is on the small side, but it's also the most modern building in town. You get the feeling they may be compensating for something.

Unity Library

Location: Hub (motive: to reveal information

An old schoolhouse that's been converted. It's got old, cracking paint, but the windows are clean. The interior is cramped and stuffed with books.

Schaffer Home

Location: Hub (motive: to reveal information)

The lawn is trimmed and green. The house is older, and is one of the only ones on the block with a second story. The interior is open concept, with plain white walls and modern knick-knacks. Aimee's room is on the second floor. It looks like a mundane girl's room at first, but hunters may investigate hiding spots or check her computer to find out about her interest in the occult or her connection to Neadbaum.

Torello Home

Location: Crossroads (motive: bring people/things together)

A trailer home on the other side of town from the Schaffer home. It is propped up on cinder blocks. There's a small dog tied up out front, and a garden.

Neadbaum Barn

Type: Hellgate (motive: to create evil)

From the outside, this is a classic red barn. The inside is similarly unassuming. Light shines in from the wooden slats in day time. The floor is matted with hay, and there's a cot up in the loft.

Neadbaum's animals do not choose to stay in the barn if they are not penned in, and if they are penned in, they are agitated and uncomfortable.

There is a book in an unrecognizable language hidden beneath the cot, and if the hay is cleared away, the summoning sigil for the Shadowling can be found.

Bystanders

Aimee Schaffer (student)

Bystander: Witness (motive: to reveal information)

Aimee is a high school student with light skin and straight brown hair. She is pretty, chubby, short, and normally well put together. Aimee felt stifled by her parents, their expectations, and their rigorous schedule for her. She began acting out in subtle ways, such as by reading up on the occult at the library and becoming involved with Ben.

Working with Neadbaum on the corn maze was a way to talk to someone in town who shared her interests while working on community building, something her parents would approve of. Aimee's occult research is generally benign, and she did not know just what horrors Neadbaum would get her involved in.

Aimee had left Ben a note that told him to meet her in the cornfield after she and Neadbaum concluded their ritual, unfortunately bringing him into the situation as well.

Aiden and Maria Schaffer (Aimee's parents)

Bystander: Busybodies (motive: to interfere in other people's plans)

The Schaffers are community leaders in Unity, who want the best for their daughter. They are very proud of Aimee for taking an interest in community events. They believe that Ben has done something to her, and are extremely distraught that she is missing. They do not acknowledge that Aimee was seeing Ben of her own free will. The Schaffers are suspicious of outsiders, unless they're authority figures.

Carla Torello (Ben's mother)

Bystander: Victim (motive: to put herself in danger)

Carla is a tall, thin woman, with a large straight nose and black hair. She wears a long brown coat.

Carla doesn't like Aimee, because her parents are elitist. She is certain that Ben is in some sort of trouble, but doesn't trust the authorities to help her. She'll do anything to find her son, and is relatively open to strange explanations. If she hears something ridiculous, though, she'll think she's being made fun of, and shut it down.

Maggie Watterson (Waitress)

Bystander: Gossip (motive: to pass on rumours)

Maggie is a pale woman in her 50s, with curly red hair pull back into a bun.

She is very worried about Ben and Aimee, who frequented Sideswipe Diner on their dates.

Sharon Maat (Waitress)

Bystander: Skeptic (motive: to deny supernatural explanations)

A high schooler with brown skin and black hair. She's tall, and looks consistently bored. She thinks that Ben and Aimee ran off together, and that everyone is making a big fuss over nothing. She goes to the same school and Ben and Aimee, knows that Aimee was helping organize the corn maze, and knows where both Ben and Aimee live, if the hunters ask.

Gordon Deep (County Sheriff)

Bystander: Official (motive: to be suspicious)

Sheriff Deep is a large man, both in gut and in build. He's in his 40s, and has a trim moustace and salt and pepper hair.

He's very no nonsense, and doesn't care for children. When things start to go terribly wrong, he becomes desperate to find a culprit.

Hank Devon (Deputy)

Bystander: Innocent (motive: to do the right thing)

Deputy Devon is a young man of average build. He's dark skinned and bald.

He's incredibly concerned about the disappearances, and very eager to find solutions. If he thinks the hunters have any sort of lead, he'll want to talk with them.

Mikki Watterson (librarian)

Bystander: Gossip (motive: to pass on rumors)

Mikki is a young person with short curly red hair and freckles. They are wearing a they/them pronoun pin. Waitress Maggie is their mother.

Mikki is involved in the community, and is very familiar with the Schaffer family and their library habits (especially Aimee, who comes by herself looking for occult books).

Layout

Here is a very simple drawn layout of Unity, which was filled in as our hunters discovered locations.

Additional Notes

In our session, the hunters immediately clocked the scarecrow as a threat, and destroyed it before it could be used. It's up to your discretion if you want to leave it vulnerable outside the cornfield as a freebie for your hunters, or if you'd like to hold that idea back as a surprise while they're exploring.

Our party included an initiate, which allowed this mystery to have some very fun cult politics. I highly recommend it.

If you end up using any of these ideas, I'd love to hear about it! MOTW is a great game, and I want to know about other people's experiences.

@freemotwresources @tabletopmonsteroftheweek