#never commit to anything because it's hard and boring and annoying

[natjennie]

fuck. kristen this season is coming for my fucking throat.

[mediumgayitalian]

Nico really fucking hates capture the flag.

Well, not always. Last week was fun. Last week was the annual Everyone Against The Stolls (to atone for their crimes), and Nico got to chase Connor around at top speeds, cackling, committing his shrieking and begs for mercy to memory. That was nice. That almost made him forgive the fucker for digging a trench under Nico’s unwelcome mat for him to fall into at seven thirty in the godsdamn morning.

But tonight’s game is boring.

He’s been standing, alone, at the base of the flag for the past forty bajillion hours. He’d raised a few dozens skeletons to spar with at first, since animating them to fight himself isn’t technically against the rules, but that got dull fast. (It isn’t much fun sparring with a partner who doesn’t have a brain. He already has to do that enough with Percy when he comes to visit camp.) He’d climbed the various trees around the clearing, or at least he tried until he got reamed by the dryads for climbing on a manner that was too annoying (?), and tried his hands at a few summoning spells. Nothing held his interest long.

And now he’s just standing, doing nothing, and he’s not allowed to leave. He has to stay in this stupid spot on the off chance that someone comes stumbling over to fight him for the flag.

“You’re our best swordsman, she said,” he says mockingly, beaming the nastiest vibes he can manage in Piper’s vague direction. “We need you on our defensive line, she said. Nyeh nyeh nyeh.”

His checks his watch. He groans. He looks critically over the grass, looking for a softer patch, and when he locates it he throws himself dramatically upon it, groaning louder.

“This sucks!” he yells, to no one.

“Will you shut up!” shouts back the dryad he pissed off earlier. “For the love of photosynthesis! Fuck!”

He bites his tongue hard to hold back laughter. (If he can avoid getting his entire cabin overgrown with prickle bushes again, that’d be great.) “Sorry,” he calls, trying with everything he has to sound contrite. Convincing his father to fight the Titan War was easier, actually. Acting is not his calling.

“Hmph!”

At least listening to see if she’ll come out and yell at him again provides something to ease his boredom. Yes, he’s going to regret bothering her, but in his defense, solo guarding is cruel and unusual punishment. He’d rather sit by an outlet with a fork and see if he can poke and let go fast enough to avoid dying. That at least would be interesting.

A rustling of leaves recaptures his attention, and he pauses.

“Holly?”

When no one answers, which is odd because she’s taken every opportunity in the last hour to either insult him or pelt him with stones, he lifts his head.

“You’re not going to scare me, dude. I had my fear glands surgically removed to become a better soldier.”

Not true. Obviously. But a fun bonus of being the camp weirdo is that no one doubts anything he says. He’s working on convincing everyone younger than him that he needs weekly tributes of chocolate delivered to his door every Friday or the dead are going to take over the world. So far, it’s working.

“Look, Holly, I’m sorry about the zombie, okay, I promise it didn’t mean to sneeze part of its brain on you —”

The rustling sounds again, only this time Nico can see that it’s not Holly’s tree, and in fact she is nowhere to be found. Alarmed, he jumps to his feet, shifting so he’s balanced on the balls of his feet, poised to attack. Is Piper’s plan failing? Has someone actually managed to make it all the way over here without getting (gently, probably, although they lost the last game and Piper gets cranky without dessert) maimed?

The rustling sounds for a third time. This time, an armoured someone stumbles out of the underbrush, tripping over their own foot and nearly landing flat on their face.

Nico has his sword at their throat in a millisecond.

“Wo-oah, Morbius. That’s probably my least favourite sword you could stab in me.”

Nico goes bright red. “I have never wanted to stab you more than right this second.”

Will, chest plate skewed to the right, quiver completely empty, and black paint smeared under his eyes, snickers. He puts a finger on the tip of Nico’s sword and pushes it away from his neck.

“The opportunity was right there, babe. I couldn’t not.”

“You really, really could. In fact at all times, you should remember these words of wisdom: shut up.”

“…Damn. Inspiring.”

Nico rolls his eyes, but the effect is somewhat lessened by the smile on his face and the obvious pleasure in his expression. He’s even feeling merciful enough to accept Will’s kiss, although his sword keeps a good amount of distance between them. (Will’s on the blue team, after all. It would be unprofessional to be fraternizing with the enemy.

…Well, too much, anyway.)

“What’re you doing here? You’re supposed to be with the other archers, sitting in trees and causing havoc.”

Will shrugs, grinning lazily. “I quit. This game is senselessly violent and I’m Against It On Principle. I’m a pacifist, you know.”

“Uh huh.” Nico raises an eyebrow. “I assume this doesn’t count you choking Cecil out in a headlock, this morning.”

Will opens his mouth. Nothing comes out. He closes it again.

“Cecil is my mortal enemy,” he grudges after a moment. “He doesn’t count.”

“‘Course not. Not like you cried for two hours when he went to visit his mom last weekend or anything.”

“Will you — stop saying I cried. I barely teared up, okay. Barely.”

Nico can’t quite force down the stupid grin that pulls across his face, matching Will’s, nor can he resist grabbing the leather straps of his boyfriend’s armour and hauling him close.

“You better not be here to distract me,” he mumbles, leaning close and pressing a kiss to the underside of his jaw, the corner of his mouth. Will hums, settling his hands on Nico’s hips.

“Nope. Cross my heart and hope to die.”

“Drama queen.”

“Excuse — I am the least dramatic, I’ll have you know. I’m a pinnacle of solemnity. I am a shining beacon of stoicism. I am — mmfh,” He trails off. “Okay, doing this now, mhm.”

Nico smiles triumphantly into the kiss. Will, he has found, is very easy to shut up, despite his long-running nickname of Motormouth. It’s almost like he has an off button that can be accessed only by Nico sticking his tongue in his mouth. Nico is doing his civic duty, honestly. He should be compensated for his service.

(‘Course, doesn’t hurt that Will smells, like, really good, all the time, and his lips are soft as hell and he is actually quite the kisser, in fact. That is definitely a fun bonus.)

He smooths his hands over Will’s shoulders, travelling up the sides of his neck and settling in his hair. Will keens, slightly, when he wraps a finger around a frizzy golden curl and tugs, slightly, when he scratches his nails along his scalp. The rush of power at the feeling makes Nico dizzy, and his sword clatters to the ground as he busies himself with more interesting — and important — things.

Like pulling more of those sounds from his boyfriend’s throat. Or making his knees buckle, again, like he did the other night — gods, that was good, it made Will flush scarlet and Nico feel like he was fuckin’ floating, to have Will so needy and touchy and totally at his mercy —

“Free line to the flag! Go go go go!”

Nico startles, whirling towards the sudden cacophony of noises. To his horror, what looks like half the camp, helmets shining with plumes of blue, comes pouring into the clearing, weapons raised, voices mixing in one long, victorious shout. He lunges for his sword, but before he can grab it, two strong arms tighten around his torso, pinning his hands to his side.

Immediately, he knows he’s been set up.

“Oh, you — fucker!”

He feels the curve of Will’s grin against his neck. “First shower privileges for a whole month, baby.” He noses along his jaw, pressing an apologetic kiss to his cheek. “Couldn’t resist.”

Nico struggles, aghast, watching the once-red flag shimmer in Lou Ellen's hold to a bright, shining blue. “I am breaking up with you, you traitor, you Iago, you vixen — ”

Will snorts. He ducks down and pecks Nico on the lips, again, and again, and then shifts to his cheeks, the bridge of his nose, his temples, his forehead, and all over his face, making louder and louder mwah sounds until Nico is laughing, punching his shoulder and shoving him away.

“Okay! Okay. Let me go, you villainous toad. We will discuss how much you’ll have to grovel for my forgiveness after Piper finishes yelling at me for getting distracted.”

Will presses one last kiss to his nose, smiling cheekily before stepping away, heading towards his boasting team. “Enjoy that lecture! Love you!”

“Yeah, yeah.” Nico rolls his eyes, resting his aching cheek in his hand. “Love you too, asshole.”

[primrosebow]

Idea I had

_--> Vox x reader //

//

!content warnings!: nsfw, vox is a warning of his own right

This is so goofy ya'll.......

//

//

He watches you through the cameras, he sees your every movement: every yawn from absolutely mind-numbingly boring paperwork, every sip of whatever drink you got to try and keep yourself awake, every flick you give to a page to try and make sense of the words after they start to scramble toguether in your mind... he.. felt a familiar pride rise in him as he noticed you do that last one in particular.

Vox... tries to be confident. Were it not annoying, you'd probably commend his commitment to "the bit" (that "bit" being his dominant act). His cold and controlled demeanor carefully stringed toguether by him holds up as well as a sugar cube in tea when he tries to still somehow hold it up even when you are mixed into the situation.

He had been observing you for quite the substantial ammount of time. In your bedroom. In your house. Through your electronics, your every move was permanently etched into his mind so he could look back at it during those times where the strain in his pants got far too uncomfortable to bare- he's getting sidetracked- (probably because that is the exact situation he is in right now) what brought him pride was the way you'd watch his shows with rapt attention, the way you'd talk of him so fondly to your friends, the way he was taking sleep away from you because of how in love you are with him! (Yes, his delusions do run that deep. Whatever it takes not to crush that fragile ego he has, I suppose.) Because you were anxious to be around him because you were flustered, of course, (because he is the equivalent of a ticking bomb except you never know when it's going to explode. But, whatever helps him sleep at night) and it definetly gets to you when you're trying to sleep, and THAT'S why you're so tired (the unshakable feeling of being watched at night doesn't exactly allow for much sleeping.).

And he calls you up to his office, having planned out everything down to his tone of voice. Down to the precise words he would say. His woven persona built with love for what he thinks is what you find attractive laid in front of you as you look at him mildly shocked, but weirdly unimpressed. While of course Vox would do something like this, there is also the "what the hell? What has gotten into him?" Aspect that can't seem to answer itself in your head.

Your silence and furrowed brows as you look at him don't inspire the same confidence he started with. The words that came from you next weren't the kindest, but they made the fuzzy feeling in his brain grow further. Your expression that went from mild surprise to a sly, malicious smile had him reeling- this- isn't going as planned-

"W-Well! Do something about it!" He exclaims after some moments of bickering between the two of you. His voice is slightly glitched out and his screen shows an occasional error message, but, despite that shameful display of vulnerability and lack of control over his emotions, you quickly grabbed onto his thigh and slowly brought it further up so you could get into a more comfortable position yourself. Your willingness to do this made the screaming voices of self deprication get quickly replaced by his unchecked ego. He felt like the most powerful man to have ever walked this earth.

You look at him again as you reach out to touch where he needed it most- and it was better than anything he could have hoped for. It made his entire body jolt as he finally got the reward he's been desiring for ages-

But he can't ever let things just be good the way they are without interfering in it unnecessarily. His resolve was breaking but he couldn't even tell, his screen brightened noticeably as even more glitches were escaping onto it along with a vague noise like building pressure in a lightbulb that was very hard to ignore. It was in the middle of that where he decided that this was a perfectly good moment to establish his dominance (which he hadn't noticed he was barely grasping at) and degrade you.

"You slu-" his voice is suddently cut off by a seeming "system default" one which overcame your senses with the message "[Error 404: "dominance" not found]"

You wanted to laugh-

This is just too perfect.

Your grin widens as he stumbles over an attempt to make up an excuse for what you just witnessed- though he is quickly cut off by you sliding your finger over the leaking tip of his dick.

Your turn.

// //

//

Goofy recreation of the last scene WHWHEHEHE

I had so much fun with this.

//

@bigfatbimbo as you accepted being tagged in my every post... and because it's vox

I had a blast with this. Not proof read. Not proof anything I'm just word vomiting. It is nearly 4am

[kawaiibarty]

Do u ship prongsfoot? U got any hcs for them if u do?

PRONGSFOOOT

started off as purely experimental

they were curious boys who didn't know anything but each other and when it came to seeing other people they found it so hard to commit either because they were jealous of the other's new partner or they ended up missing the other

most of the time it was both.

eventually they decided that dating other people wasn't going to work. they needed each other and the more they tried to find love in another person it was never the same as the love they felt for each other. that was what kept them alive.

they were each other's first everything.

literally everything. they were sentimental like that. and you could call it unhealthy to their faces but they'd probably laugh at you.

"he's my james. why would i need anyone else?"

their first kiss happened during a particularly boring detention in their fourth year.

they decided to stop trying to date other people by the end of their sixth year.

their pda is always exaggerated, arms thrown over shoulders, back hugs that last a little too long, cheeky kisses mid conversation, loud declarations of love, hands clasped firmly whenever they walked together. it was so annoying. it was almost as if they were trying to rub it in your face. he's mine. he'll never be yours.

when they were alone, however, they were much calmer. lazily sprawled out on either one's bed, fingers loosely entwined, forehead kisses and barely brushing shoulders. they were comfortable. they weren't afraid that they'd be looked at wrong or questioned when they were together and alone.

they never introduced themselves as boyfriends, or lovers or partners. they were james and sirius. they'd joke about being fiances sometimes but usually they were just...together.

together as james and sirius. padfoot and prongs.

oh my god i teared up a little

[fungalittleweirdo]

All four 12 turtles first meetings/impressions headcanons pleeeeeaaassseee <3333

anything for pookie <333

2012 TMNT First Meetings Headcanons

Leo

i think he would be interested in keeping you safe if you're a civilian

if you're a criminal he might talk you down from doing crime first, if you don't listen to him though he will kick your ass

but back to if you're a regular person in new york– if you were in danger he would most likely defend you

and if you insist on keeping him company because he saved your life, he might get a little shy and embarrassed

are you hungry ? he'll get you an order of pizza gyozas as soon as possible

you're one of the few humans he's ever met, it's a little hard for him to socialise with you at first but then gets the hang of it

if you're interested in any of the things he's interested in he will ask about it

he might infodump about space heroes if you're not careful

if you let him, he might develop a silly little crush on you

sorry this leo first impression headcannon thing is purely spoopy fanservice

Raph

he'd think nothing of you if you're a civilian

if you're a criminal he'd beat your ass, no questions asked

but if you're insistent on talking to raph after he saves your life or whatever he'd get annoyed and ask why you want to talk to him so bad

but this is only if he's still with mona

if he hadn't been with mona at all or they broke up or whatever, he might be bored enough to have you around for company

he might end up venting to you if you listen to him for long enough

raph feels as though he's never listened to and to have someone so ready and willing to hear him ramble, it comforts him

you might become his favourite friend after a night of talking and getting to know one another

he also would like it if you wanted to watch him train and cheer him on, it helps dissolve his insecurities

Donnie

depends how you react to him when it comes to you being a civilian

as for you being a criminal ? he'd ask you why, how, when– he wants every little detail about the crime you're committing and the context behind it. he might not even want to kick your ass at all, maybe he just wants to talk.

now, if the turtle's saving your life and you're grateful like a normal person, thanking him and going on your merry way, he'd be proud of himself for handling whatever you tangled yourself with on his own.

if you make out his save as a knight-in-shining-armour-saving-his-princess situation ? he would get all flustered and embarrassed, falling for you hard if you give him any semblance of affection as thanks.

the mutant is starved for affection after all the years he's pined and yearned. crushing should be his middle name and it's not for crushing his enemies.

spending the rest of the night talking to him would probably mean him checking for wounds or if you got hurt.

he would worry about you no matter if your life was threatened or if someone just tried to steal your bag

haha you're the next april (whether you reciprocate or not is up to you)

Mikey

nah dude you're chill brah

bro's clueless if you're committing crime

but otherwise he'd fight whatever's threatening you then offer if you want to hang out with him

whether you agree or scream and run away it's your choice (but the latter isn't what you're here for, is it ?)

he'd take you to murakami's or some pizza place he knows of for food first

after eating you guys would go up to the rooftops and he'd try to show you tricks on his board

maybe try to flirt with you if he finds you easy on the eyes

you spending time with him kind of reassures him that he's not annoying like his brothers say he is, so you're making him feel better about himself just by keeping him company

he'd love to talk to you again !! definitely will call you in the middle of the night to ask you if you think pineapple belongs on pizza.

[despairots]

#A NIGHT TO REMEMBER, o. dazai!

a special oneshot!

description, it’s special to know how the other feels. to communicate is the best, though, dazai isn’t one for words but it’s fine, you’re the same. neither of you can put the feelings you have into words.

— story contains, angst, established relationship, swearing, suicide mentions, depressing talks, “no longer human” connections i think?, r! psychoanalysis’s i guess?, mental health, trauma talking, character deaths, if i missed anything let me know! gender neutral! reader.

“why are you writing this?” bc dazai is one of the characters i heavily relate to on another level. hes so much different from mizuki akiyama and satoru gojo. and this is just me talking a lot about dazai’s character and analyzing him… btw, r! wears a black blazer (or leather jacket) white button up with a black waist coat, either brown shorts or pants (maybe black of u want), underneath the shorts or pants are like black tights and slip on penny loafers.

long before you started dating dazai, there was an obvious connection that you only saw and felt. obviously, you were friends during those time periods because you worked in the same place, everyone there were friends.

though, the friendship you two had were entirely different from the rest, had the same humour but showing it differently. you wouldn’t lie and say that dazai flirting with you just to ask for a double suicide didn’t concern you, because it did. there’s no doubt that he’ll try and eventually succeed (although, death doesn’t accept him).

there’s nothing that can kill this man, no matter how hard he tries. you picked that up during one of his failed attempts, it almost succeeded if kunikida wasn’t there, you thanked him a ton. all he said in response is that; “i have to look over that idiot one way or another.” no matter how much dazai annoys his coworkers, they still care.

when dazai tries to commit and somewhat fails, it’s almost like he’s punishing himself for still being alive. you know his past, after all, you were in port mafia with him, even though you two didn’t work together or how he didn’t know you during that time, you sure knew him.

he was surrounded by death, in the port mafia and the ada, it follows him yet never accepts it’s his time to come to the afterlife. he makes these plans that somewhat end up succeeding though he hurts himself in the process, always worrying you. what if eventually death actually accepts him at some point?

dazai has been extraordinarily smart every since he was a kid to the point where he’s been dehumanized by dubbing him; “the demon prodigy”. you didn’t know anything about his parents, you did know what drove him to be tired of living. he’s tired living, bored by life and the people around him, to him, they are easily predictable and manipulated that nothing can surprise him.

he can’t find sense to the world but most importantly, he doesn’t find sense in life, he ends up reverting to extensional depression, continuing the cycle he lives in.

dazai has been exploited ever since he was 14 and taken into the port mafia by mori. he was kept alive by mori, by chuuya, by everyone. he was used until there was nothing left. he never had any love nor hope (that he’d ever have someone to understand him) until a friend he later brought up to you, oda.

he truly believed he deserved everything that happened to him in the port mafia.

you believe that younger dazai never believed that he could be better, but if he’s changing now than he always had the ability to change, just never tried. he was sure the mafia was the only fate he had and the only place to escape of living.

then oda died. dazai was free, with ango’s help of wiping his criminal records. without ango’s help, he would’ve never been free from mafia, though he knows his past will always haunt him, he’s accepted that. he also knows that his indebted to ango, he knows he owes him.

since oda’s death, dazai’s trust had ran thin and he’s always on guard, his ability to open up to anyone had been cut off because he can not lose anyone again. the things he cares about and didn’t wanna lose, is lost the moment he gains it.

his plans always evolve other people, rather to manipulate or exploit. you don’t blame him, if it meant surviving, you would do it too.

he is someone who jokes but never opens up nor can be his true self. he’s a wreck who will drag anyone else down with him, that was a price you had to pay for dating him. he repulsed the idea of love and being in a relationship with you because of how he’ll be afraid of losing you.

dazai dated you as a joke, to see how thing will end, until he realized that you were somewhat different. you were always one step of ahead, had almost the same ability that involved contact, and you had this missing glint in your eyes. that’s just the surface though.

dazai knows there’s more to you— he doesn’t know about your connections to the port mafia though— but he doesn’t bother bringing the topic up to you though nor does he like talking about it.

at nights like this, where he’s staring aimlessly somewhere and devoid of emotion, he’s completely vulnerable in your shared dorm. sitting on the couch, cheek on the palm of his hand as the other searches the cold touch of your hand, seeking for some company.

—and you’re there. sitting on the couch with him and a book discarded in your lap, only staring at dazai with a look of curiosity and content, he looks peaceful despite the war going on in his head.

(you were memorized by the destruction he creates and has, it was peaceful to know what beautiful destruction that dazai carries with him).

when dazai feels the cold skin of your hand, he could feel his ability cancelling yours out as your hand covers his, holding it tightly yet so soft that he wonders if you’re even there. dazai finally looks at you, face still devoid of emotion, watching you reopen your book.

“morning, sleeping beauty.” you hummed softly, an amused tone with your words. dazai groaned and knocked your book off your lap, kicking his legs up into your lap and laying down, now staring up at the ceiling.

hearing dazai go silent wasn’t rare, it was rather common when you two are in your shared dorm, but not hearing him say something stupid back confused you.

you turned your head to dazai, taking notice of his eyes that threatened to pour tears in front of you, “you okay, ‘samu?” knowing him for a while now, he wouldn’t open up and talk about his feelings. it’s fine though, you’re like that too, and you wouldn’t mind waiting forever even if it didn’t come.

dazai didn’t respond.

he never did.

he closed his eyes and if you listened closer, you could hear the shaky breath that he exhaled. taking his hand in yours, you placed a chaste kiss to his palm, the contact making dazai open his eyes slowly and sit up on his elbows.

“when are you gonna leave?” he’s says stupid shit all the time, it doesn’t effect you, none of his words effect you. it should’ve effected you but it didn’t, and dazai could tell by the unamused look on your face, “when are you gonna take your life seriously?” you lightly jabbed at him, hearing him scoff and mutter ‘hypocrite’ underneath his breath.

dazai sat up properly, scooting closer to you and grabbing your hand, setting his head on your shoulder. dazai’s touch starved but refuses any contact that doesn’t involve him initiating it, you’re an expectation, you’ve always been every since the relationship started.

silence took over you, the fan in the background aswell as dazai’s calming breath stirring you into a tired state, laying your head on dazai’s head (knowing the neck pain wouldn’t be worth it tomorrow).

“y’know i’d wait, right?” dazai hums underneath his breath as a response, “how do i know you’re not lying?” and you scoff. rolling your tired eyes, for a guy like him to ask you that question is amusing. “we’ve been lying to eachother for a while but i’m not lying about this, ‘samu.”

the former executive makes himself more comfortable in the crook of your neck, forcing you to lay down and keep him close, “i know.” the words came out muffled, and alas, his eyes are shut again and his sleeping in your arms that are now warm.

with him being asleep, you could pick out the smallest details about the boy in your arms. in your arms, he isn’t the former demon prodigy, in your arms, he isn’t a former port mafia member, in your arms, he isn’t a dehumanized person.

he’s just a boy.

osamu dazai isn’t one for words, but it’s okay, because you’re not one for words either. it’s gonna be like that for awhile, or forever, only time could tell. dazai knows this; you know this. and since dazai’s betrayal to the port mafia, he’s changing, but if he’s changing now, he was always capable of changing, he just never cared enough to try.

osamu dazai isn’t one for words, neither are you.

tick.

[olasketches]

What do you think are Sukuna and Yuuji’s greatest personality strengths and weaknesses? Why? What do you love about their dynamic?

oh I love questions like that!!

for sukuna, I wanted to say his intelligence and creativity but to be honest I think it's his curiosity and inquisitiveness. Intelligence and creativity are like muscles. you develop them the more you observe, learn, practice and experience and one of sukuna's defining traits is that he's incredibly observant. his curiosity in a way contradicts his "I don't give a fuck about anything" attitude but then we have witnessed time and time again how he finds other sorcerous intriguing or in sukuna's words "fascinating". he even admits later to kashimo that he finds people tasty interesting

sukuna's curiosity allows him to learn new things and lets him acquire more knowledge (hence why he's so adaptable and strategic in combat), probably as a way to keep himself entertained, after all he's also a super bored individual. However, one would think that for someone with such strong sense of curiosity and inquisitiveness that naturally leads him into exploring and learning, he would be much more prone to growing and evolving as a person... well not in sukuna's case nuh uh. cause this guys biggest problem obstacle is him himself.

sukuna claims he doesn't need anyone and thinking his way of living is perfectly fine and yet he showed doubts when that one "annoying brat" who he can't seem to ged rid off (by literally and metaphorically cutting them off) the way he did everyone else, made him reflect on himself for the first time in millennium. sukuna is a great and cunning observant... of everyone but himself. I think his greatest personality weakness is his absolute lack of self awareness, which is kinda funny considering that he's also a character with the most overwhelming sense of self. it’s like he knows damn well who is and doesn’t need external validation but then because he never self reflects he can’t really grow and evolve as a person… and if it wasn't for sukuna and yuuji's forced coexistence, sukuna would have most likely still kept going about his life the way he always did without trying to understand his own thoughts, feelings, values, beliefs, and actions. the reason he never questioned his own way of being is cause others are just a way for him to pass time rather than an opportunity to reflect upon himself and learn something about his own inner workings…

and then we have yuuji who I would say is on the same spectrum just on the opposite end. yuuji doesn't really reflect on himself or question the world he lives in but that wasn't always the case. in the first ten chapter we actually get to witness his internal monologue about death and his place in all of this but after his first encounter with a certain death, everything changes. yuuji stopped reflecting on himself and instead started repressing his emotions. someone actually made a great meta about this, he actively avoids thinking about the whole situation, which brings me to my point. I think yuuji's greatest personality weakness is actually his impulsiveness. he tends to make decisions without thinking about the consequences first. yuuji, like most of teenagers tbh, doesn't want to think too hard about the world he lives in so long as he has something to do but I believe this might also be related to the perception he has of himself as "the dumb one". “Im an idiot so there’s no point in me thinking about these things right?” you can even see that sort of attitude when megumi admits why he saved yuuji that day

you’re so smart fushiguro. thinking about all sorts of stuff, unlike me.

oh yuuji.. yuuji.. :/. but in some ways yuuji's impulsiveness can also work in his favour. his "do it now, think later" attitude doesn't allow him much room to overthink, so once he commits to a task he doesn't back down until he achieve his goal. that's why, I believe his greatest strength are his determination and strong will, something even sukuna couldn't break.

sukuna and yuuji’s strength and weakness go hand in hand and complement one another. sukuna's habitual curiosity reflects yuuji's obliviousness to the world around him, whilst yuuji's determination (but also just sheer existence) caused sukuna to have doubts about his way of living. they're complete polar opposite and yet in some ways they're more alike than they think. neither of them is a big fan of self reflection. they're both stubborn af. physical pain is just an after thought to them, they'll keep going even if they loose half of their limbs. "violence is the solution". they're both freaks who don't mind eating human flesh and one of them actually enjoys it. and lastly, they're both just really miserable. sukuna's selfishness only made him hollow inside and yuuji's selflessness only brought him more suffering and pain. they also think that the solution to their problems is to kill the other one (which is kinda funny now that I think about it lol tho in yuuji's case this is kinda true.. but also not really) and yet they’ve been essential to each other’s growth. they’re both really fucked up individuals who hate each other’s guts and make each other’s lives a living hell but at the same time they also know and understand the other one’s soul like no one else… what’s not to love?

sukuna and yuuji’s dynamic is actually the reason why I fell in love w jjk in the first place. their interactions are always fun and entertaining and they always leave with an even bigger brainrot but at this point I think it’s safe to say that these two consumed my mind and heart and maybe even soul completely. I just can’t get enough of them.

[original-bookshelf]

More Redacted Roleplay Incorrect Quotes (Friend Edition)

Mads: Seriously, Allan, how many people would you have killed if we’d asked you to? imp!Allan: That’s not important Mads: I DISAGREE.

imp! Jay: I wanna be an enforcer! imp! Allan, an enforcer: What the fuck do you want this shit for? I kill people, all right? Their blood is on my hands! Every night, when I go to sleep, I see their FUCKING faces staring at me! Their families weep, and I FEEL NOTHING! I’M DEAD INSIDE! imp! Jay: Man, I want some of that in my life! imp! Allan: Wow, great work on the Halloween decorations. Where did you get the fake skeletons? Mads: Fake?

Allan: Working sucks. Allan: I want to be a malewife where my only responsibilities are being sexy and cute. Kidnapper: I have one of your friends. Pidge: Which one? I have seven. Kidnapper: The loud, annoying, rowdy one who never shuts up. Pidge: Which one? I have seven. Ryn, distantly: HEY!!! Ryn: Help! I’m drowning! Pidge: Calm down. We’re only in six feet of water! Ryn: NOT ALL OF US ARE TALL! Salem: We have fun, don’t we, Pidge? Pidge: I have never been more stressed out in my entire life. Salem: My favorite thing about big dogs is that when you push them over, they're all like "Oh, I'm lying down now! Someone might scratch my stomach! I might nap! Endless possibilities!" Pidge: …whereas, when you push little dogs over, they're all like, "Vengeance! Death before dishonor!" Allan: A mosquito tried to bite me and I slapped it and killed it. Allan: And I started thinking. Allan: Like, it was just trying to get food. Allan: What if I went to the fridge and it just slammed the door shut and snapped my neck? Aria: Are you ok? Aria: No, I don't want to talk about physics! I don't know anything about the laws of physics because they are hard and boring. I simply would like them to behave in a way that is most convenient to ME and MY LIFE! Is that really asking too much? Allan: Yes, as a matter of fact, it is! Aria: Well, guess what? Science is stupid bullshit!! Allan: You take that back!!! Aria: No. Magic is awesome. Science blows. The end. Allan: Hey Aria, can you give me the opposite of these words? Allan: Always, Coming, From, Take, Me, Down. Aria: Never, Going, To, Give, You- Aria: The fucking satisfaction. Allan: Thank you for not saying "I told you so." Pidge: When you’re as right as I am, you don’t have to say it. Pidge: What are your three best qualities? Allan: I’m hot, I have soft hair, and sometimes I cry because I love my friends. Allan, talking to Pidge: They're trying to lure me into a false sense of security! Well, joke’s on them! I’ve never been secure in my life! And I’m not about to start now! Pidge: nudges Allan at 3am Pretty fucked up that we depict the moon as a girl and the sun as a boy. They're just floating rocks in space. Allan? Wake up, Allan! Listen! They're sexless! Allan: The sun isn't a rock, go back to sleep. Pidge: The universe is cold and unfeeling. The only constant is chaos. Allan: Was that place out of chocolate-chip pancakes again? Pidge: How would you rate your pain? Aria: 0/10. Would not recommend. Salem, to Pidge: You wanna fight? All right, let’s take this outside. The stars are so bright tonight and the moon looks so nice. Here, hold my hand— Salem: I’ve never smoked marijuana. I ate a brownie once at a party. It was intense. It was kind of indescribable. I felt like I was floating. Turns out there was no pot in the brownie. It was just an insanely good brownie. Salem: Can I offer you a nice stick in this trying time? Ryn : Name a more iconic duo than my crippling fear of abandonment and my anxiety. I’ll wait. Pidge: You and me! Ryn : tearing up Ok. fool!Pidge: on the phone Just snap his kneecaps and he’ll talk, I’m at a parent teacher conference. fool!Pidge: Anyways, you said Ryn is enjoying finger painting! That's great. Maddie: You're violent. Ryn: Yeah but I'm also short and that's adorable. Pidge: Hey, wanna help me commit arson? Maddie: What the hell!? Pidge: Oh, sorry, my bad. Pidge, whispering: Wanna help me commit arson? Maddie, whispering: Of course. What do you need?

[tartquez]

i hate to bother you all the time abt bicameral but. i think that casey/dovi is the best possible thing you could've written for casey's character

casey very famously is the most Wife Guy in the world. always on podcasts he talks abt how he never wanted to be famous to party and date loads of girls, he just wanted to get married and have kids, and how adri helped him loads with his career

anyways all that to say that not only did casey genuinely love vale and probably (from what i've gathered) intended to stay together forever, but was so broken by vale leaving him to the point that casey forced himself to marry a guy he cared for but deep down knew he didn't love And cheated on him repeatedly. despite every kind of dream of his own family he's ever had. trying to (subconciously, even) get that back in a away with dovi......

i'm yapping atp but i love your characterisation of casey (and everyone else tbh) and the significance of like. everything that's happened to him/that he's done in bicameral. wanting to spare marc of the pain he went through cause of vale. chef's kiss

have a good day!! x

Noooo you’re never bothering me! And doubly so if it’s bicameral related! Triple so if it’s bicameral Casey!

Will answer under a read more because this got Long 🥲

Basically, you’ve nailed it. Casey being completely blindsided by his break up with Vale and carrying that baggage around with him… traumatised so badly by a brilliant charismatic annoying Italian man that he marries a safe BORING british man who he doesn’t feel any strong feelings for… just so he can get back on track to reconstructing that family unit he thought he was getting with Vale… transparently destructive but in such a Casey way

And it’s so clear that as much as he won’t admit it… he WANTS stability (or thinks that’s what he should want) which, like you said, he effectively had with Vale … there was an inherent friction to their relationship but it was also stable and grounding and mutually COMMITTED at its core. They really liked each other! They really saw each other for who they were! There were sparks! They were building something together, maybe it didn’t make much sense to onlookers in but it was theirs, and Vale robbed him of it in a particularly cruel way … and left him scrambling for a for something anything to plug the gap while also stumbling through this traumatic ass fog.

Maybe it’s in light of all of that context, but to me the brainrot logically extends to the Casey/Dovi component of bicameral? Both of them more hurt than they’re willing to let on… both of them so convinced that this is just a bit of harmless fun (and maybe scratches a mutual itch to undermine Valentino) … and that they’re both in total control of the situation because they’re So Rational and So Smart and So Incapable Of Making Bad Decisions and of course So Incapable Of Falling For Someone Who They Have Decided Is Only Temporary. Too infallible for something like catching feelings 🫠

To bring it back to Casey, it’s probably all the more horrifying to him because he traded crazy-people stability with Vale that ended catastrophically for mind numbing no-stakes stability with his husband (which also ended catastrophically)… and now what? He’s trading all of that for the opposite of stability with this guy he started banging to settle a score that no one is actually keeping count for? And somehow this man has brought him more trouble AND more peace than both of those who came before him combined. He is spiralling

Side tangent: reading back on this, I do think the fact that absolutely everyone being at least a little shitty in bicameral is what makes it so fun and interesting to me. Everyone has their personal motivations for what they’re doing… everyone is a little selfish and well-meaning and fallible and it makes them all so compelling and imperfect and relateable even (especially) in their ugliness imo

Like… Dovi being trying so hard to remove his feelings in order to give Marc the support he needs and also genuinely trying to be a supportive friend to Vale and give him fair and considered advice about Marc … while simultaneously having slept with Vale’s exes without so much as batting an eyelid… and definitely without ever apologising for it… like everyone has a little rat in them in this au

[good-beanswrites]

hii!! can we get some platonic fuuta amane interactions please? thabks !!!

Ahh yes, thank you so much for the request! I love them so much ;--; They've been making my brain go brrrr lately with T3 possibilities, though I decided to stay away from the drama for now. Here something sweet after T1 verdicts but before the attacks -- they're just hanging out :3

Yuno smiled down at Amane, finding her hunched over a table of craft supplies with Fuuta. The guilty verdict had hit them hard, so it was good to see them in better spirits. She tried to peer over her shoulder to see what they were working on. “Aw, what are you two up to?”

Amane returned her smile. “Fuuta is teaching me to misbehave.”

His face twitched in horror. “Oi, you can’t just go around saying that!” He looked frantically at Yuno. “We’re just folding paper planes.”

Amane lifted her chin. “You said in middle school, you made them to throw in class.”

“I said my friends made them to throw in class. And it’s not like I’m telling you to throw them. I was just making them because there’s nothing better to do in this damned place. You were the one that said it looked fun and sat down to annoy me!”

Fuuta huffed at the accusation as Yuno walked away, laughing. He returned to the design he was folding. He hadn’t been giving an explicit step-by-step for each, but Amane was keeping up just fine. They each had a small pile of various plane designs they were adding to. 

Running a finger along a new crease, he gave Amane a sideways look. “Though, you could stand to misbehave a little bit.”

“I did.” She reached forward to mimic the fold on her own plane. “That is why I’m here.”

“Eh? I don’t mean you should commit crimes!” He scowled. “I’m talking about normal kid stuff, nothing against the law. Like staying out too late, driving your teacher crazy, funny vandalism–”

“--Vandalism is against the law.”

“Oh come on, it’s harmless! Don’t even try to argue that a little graffiti is comparable to what got you here.” He rolled his eyes. “So? What about that other stuff?”

She shook her head. With neither disappointment nor pride, she said, “I never left my home at night. And my teachers were far too strict.” 

“Aw, it’s the strict ones that are the most fun to prank!” He pointed to Amane, adopting the most persuasive voice he could manage. “You gotta do some of these things, or you’ll turn out with a stick up your ass. Like Kotoko, or Mikoto. Or a weirdo like Kazui and Mahiru. Shidou’s more or less normal, and he’s the type of guy to break some rules now and then.”

“And you?” She raised her eyebrows at him, feigning innocence. “I take it you turned out perfectly because you misbehaved as a child?”

“Hey, I never said I was a shining role model or anything. But I mean it. If you stay like this, you’ll grow up to be a boring loser, another cog in the wheel.”

“It is an honor to be a part of something bigger than yourself, to find belonging, and purpose.”

“Tch, don’t be such a pain!”

“I wasn’t.”

“You know that’s not what I was talking about!”

“What were you talking about, then?” She gave him the same expression as before, and wondered if could hide her genuine confusion. 

“Don’t play dumb. I know working in a group is a good thing, but you don’t want to kill yourself for leaders that don’t give a shit about you. That’s a major issue in this country, you know? In government, and corporations, and all that. That’s not belonging, that’s just exploitation.”

Amane stayed silent.

Oblivious to the emotions flashing across her lowered eyes, he nudged her in annoyance. “And the best way to break from that is to loosen up a bit. So have a little fun now and then, jeez!”

She picked her creation off the table. She turned it over in her hands. It had come out perfectly sharp and clean. “I’m having fun now.”

Fuuta, preparing to argue with whatever she said, blinked. “O-oh.” 

“At school, my favorite activities included choir practice and the arts. It has been difficult to sing here without accompaniment, so I am grateful to have the opportunity for crafts.” She looked at him earnestly. “Despite your past of disobedience,” she smirked, “I always enjoy your company.”

His expression twisted up, but he couldn’t hide the reddening of his ears. “What do I care if a brat like you likes my company?”

She smiled. “I’m not a brat. As established, I am very well-behaved.”

“That’s even worse!”

“Tell me about this plane, Fuuta.”

After sufficiently rolling his eyes and sighing, he agreed. He started explaining what made these planes different from the last: how they compared on speed, accuracy, and length of flight. It didn’t really matter if they were just going to toss them around here or the panopticon later, he thought it would be helpful to teach her anyway. Maybe if she ever was inclined, she’d remember which ones were best for pinpointing a teacher’s back, or a warden’s…

[arbitrarygreay]

Bet, no spoilers

Tl;dr: If another season of Bet gets made, I will probably watch it, but with such a heavy use of the fast-forward button it will probably more be called skimming. My interest in Warrior Nun heavily decreased because of this show, and is almost negative at this point.

The long version:

As an adaptation, it's an undeniable abomination. The core themes that underline the plotting and characterizations of Kakegurui have been wholly annihilated and replaced with bargain bin Riverdale nonsense. Bet is a show that is fucking not actually interested in gambling! The games in Kakegurui, which were custom constructed to demonstrate characterization and relationships and themes, have all been replaced with plotting and gimmicks where the characters have lost at least an entire standard deviation of IQ, if not two. If you loathe Greg Berlanti's Arrowverse because of its adaptation choices, stay away from Bet.

Now, I have enjoyed select moments from Arrowverse? As with the first paragraph, with a heavy hand on the +10s button and heavy episode selection cherry picking. I am also a noted huge fan of the 2010 Nikita (so yes, I was real excited for Peter Outherbridge, and made jokes about Kira and Riri being Percy and Roan), which diverges pretty hard from the source materials barring character names. So ignoring the Kakegurui of it all, how does Bet stack up as a piece of original fiction? Well, you read the first paragraph.

While the actors have the chops, eking out places to shine on chemistry and charisma alone, the writing isn't up to the challenge. Most episodes have moments to enjoy, but are surrounded by lip-service characterization/relationship work, takeaways said in dialogue but not shown in practice. Characters carry the idiot ball for the sake of a serious dramatic storyline around Yumeko's backstory, and every single second of that story is asinine and boring and a waste of time. The moment the trailer referenced it I knew it was going to be a millstone around the neck of the show, and I was depressingly right.

While the show fares better with comedy, there are whole characters that are flops even in that realm: Michael, Ryan, and Dori. Suki is also a total flop after his first episode. It's not like Ryouta was a great character to begin with, as I lovingly always call him Potato (one step up from White Bread) in Kakegurui, but Bet sure fucking puts him into perspective, especially Takasugi Mahiro's admirable dedication to the bit in the Japanese live action!

If anything, that is Bet's core sin: not committing to the bit. Not Kakegurui's bit, obviously, but also not even its own. Bet doesn't even know what bit it actually has to commit to.

I was annoyed that Simon Barry decided that Igarashi Sayaka should be Kira instead of, you know, actual Kirari, but I also love me some Paris Gellar in every show that that character type is in, and Kira Timurov is no exception. The rancid Timurov family dynamics are similarly something I have a soft spot for in most shows. It was certainly more interesting than the nothingburger that was Mary/Riri, where they had no meaningful dynamic. Yumeko/Kira ended up being a better pair. Unhinged subtext wins over canon declawed femslash again. (I cackled at the end of ep 9.)

Speaking of Mary, oooooooh Mary was a case where Bet came SO CLOSE and yet so far. Mary was consistently the best part of every episode, with the show thankfully keeping her far away from the fucking black hole that was the Jabami murder storyline. However, most of Mary's character development was told, not shown, lip service about her cutthroat scrapper ways. Riri says Mary changed to explain Riri's newfound interest in her, but we never saw that change demonstrated. Mary's rise back up the ranks was also mostly left offscreen, because Bet is a godforsaken show not actually interested in games or gambling. Bet could never make Bet Twin.

Worse, Bet basically kneecapped itself in the final stretch, making the common teen drama mistake of the parents/adults having way more interesting plot and dynamics. Which, like, the show bafflingly makes that explicitly a main theme, that the school is not the real world. Bet's thesis is that the real world doesn't have rules or work like games! Why the fuck are you adapting Kakegurui, Simon Barry!? You literally declared that we shouldn't give a fuck about the school setting for S2?

On to the things I enjoyed! The one thing I will give Bet credit for above Kakegurui is Laura Afelskie's Runa, the only iteration of the character I've actually been sold on. I also liked Chad a lot, but he wasn't better than anything in Kakegurui. The StuCo scenes in general were consistently fun, way more interesting than the Yumeko-gumi, despite Miku and Eve's best efforts, with Yumeko/Mary a true highlight of the show.

Ep by ep rundown:

1 is the closest to being Kakegurui but is merely a bargain bin version

2 is bargain bin Mean Girls, but more like the already-forgotten Heathers reboot amirite

3 is bad

4 is BAD

5 is bargain bin Legacies

6 I actually have a soft spot for because eyecandy, and some relationship moments that went nowhere

7 is BAD! WORST EPISODE OF SEASON

8 has one good sequence by actually trying to be Kakegurui, but by runtime, most of it is still bad

9 is worthless except for the ending.

10 has moments! if only the main storyline did not exist, it's garbage

[play-rough]

8, 21, 22, & 25 for Dazai and Chuuya 🥹💕

🩵❤️‍🔥

8. What's something the fandom does when it comes to this character that you despise?

Dazai- god i feel like I’m so picky about Dazai characterizations and it’s so hard to describe sometimes I’ll just be like NO THATS WRONG‼️ but I guess one thing is when Dazai mentoring ryunosuke is just boiled down to a black and white situation where Dazai was soooo abusive to poor ryu (and i feel like this is a disservice to akutagawas character too), but Iike you have a child raised in a strict mafia environment and then you give that unstable child control over *another child* it’s not gonna go well, and i don’t personally blame either of the children in that scenario 🙄 idk BSD just has a lot of complex situations and I feel like they’re not always handled as such 😌🩵 Wtf this morally grey character is making problematic choices??? Cancel him🚫

Chuuya- when he’s just angry shouty guy who yells and shouts, sometimes I feel like I’m looking at a bad bakugo parody 😭

21. If you're a fic writer and have written for this character, what's your favorite thing to do when you're writing for this character? What's something you don't like?

Ummm for Dazai i like making him break down and cry and forcing him to admit he needs help or attention 🥺👉👈 or sick or just any kind of general vulnerability, and flip side for Chuuya, I love forcing him to admit he’s worried about Dazai or cares about him. My favorite part of Chuuya’s character is that he’s a genuinely nice person, Dazai is just so annoying and pushes his buttons, so I love showing off Chuuya’s softer side and highlighting his protective and caring nature. That scene where chuuya watches Dazai get slammed into a tree by lovecraft x1000000❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥

22. If you're a fic reader, what's something you like in fics when it comes to ths character? Something you don't like?

For both of them like I said above im so picky and if you make them one dimensional or even if the vibes are bad I’ll just be like NO THATS WRONG‼️ and close the fic

Something i *like* is pretty much my same answer for 21 ajdhhfhdjs I really only write about what I like reading about so I’m a sucker for vulnerable Dazai and sappy Chuuya BUT for a more specific, ridiculous, self indulgent answer i like when Dazai is written regressed 🥹🩵 or even if he’s baby, just in energy 🥺🩵 Dazai is baby and should be written as such

25. What was your first impression of this character? How about now?

First impressions of Dazai was i don’t even remember him, I read the first bsd book at the library when I was in middle/high school (don’t remember exactly when) and was like eh. Boring. I think it didn’t help that they didn’t have all the books so it was like volume one, three, five, prime numbers only. I think I read soul eater instead lmao. Flash forward to college I had seen bsd characters and i liked the designs, and i had figured chuuya would be my favorite bc he kinda reminded me a bit of Karkat from homestuck (a dear fave of mine at one point) in that angry but actually sweet and kindhearted kinda way.

I was still eh whatever about Dazai, which is crazy because I’ve seen him compared to both Gojo and Reigen in the silly mentor who lost the kids he’s custody of kinda way, and those two are some more faves of mine. Tbh i didn’t solidify him as my fave until we learned of his tragic past because my OTHER favorite kind of character is a rude little bastard, and i was shown the light. Dazai Osamu has the range. He’s like a two for one, which I’m pretty sure he’s a Gemini??? I’m not gonna google and confirm just trust me i think he’s a Gemini ♊️

Impressions now obviously Dazai is my babygirl, my soaking wet cat, my poor pathetic meow meow who has both never done anything wrong and also committed so many war crimes. Chuuya I knew i would like him and I do lmao, close second from Dazai. I think Dazai is pretty much my ultimate fave character of all time…

[zalrb]

Sorry for having a discussion through your inbox lol, I’m that anon. I meant her traits from the books, she doesn’t have a lot of characterization there, but she is loved by the smallfolk and loves to ride her dragon (according to Martin, it’s her greatest joy in life), which she has 'no taste for' in the show. For sure that’s more interesting than standing around in the castle rooms and throwing cryptic lines there and there (and we can’t get a badass queen riding her dragon, not even fighting with it but just because she enjoys it, that’s reserved for the correct team only). Now I’m not saying she has to be the same person she was in the source material, I actually think her being autistic and a dreamer were interesting additions, but she’s a passive shell of a character who doesn’t care about anything – not her family, not the war, not her children. Blood and Cheese in the books causes her to be so distraught she becomes incurably depressed, can’t even look at the child she 'picked' to die and she finally commits suicide over it. Here, she forgives Alicent in one episode and gets over it because 'lowborn mothers lose their babes all the time' (not many of them see them brutally murdered, but alas). And that’s the general problem with team Green, no one seems to have actual motivations – Otto fucks off to Oldtown after putting the succession war in motion because he didn’t like the hanging of the ratcatchers (imagine Tywin leaving for Casterly Rock after he realizes Joffrey may be kinda dumb), Alicent sentences her children to die (and even if you want to go with 'she sacrificed everything for her perceived duty and realizes it was all for nothing' angle, it’s not like she actively tries to fulfill it, she tells Aegon to piss off when he asks her how to be a better king, so it has no weight), Aegon is burned and disillusioned, Aemond is a caricature that’s hard to take seriously. Why am I supposed to care about this? At this point Rhaenyra may just take the throne from them, I’m not fond of her either, but like… what are the stakes here. Sorry about the constant ranting in your inbox Zal, I know you are not really invested in HOTD, but this show is so stupid and a waste of potential, and we’re pretty much on the same page when it comes to criticisms. The most it will achieve in a long run will be bringing back appreciation for D&D, because while they were shitheads who abandoned their own creation when they got bored of it, they gave us at least four seasons of high quality television and achieved something Condal&co could never do – actually developed these characters and relationships between them. Man, I just want another Succession if I am supposed to care about fucked up family dynamics.

No problem! Thanks for answering the other anon.

It's funny because everything is so passive and the motivations are so absent and muddled that I actually forget which side is which team? I read this like oh right, Alicent's camp is Team Green and Rhaenyra's is Team Black, sometimes I think it's the other way around.

But reading this, I get annoyed all over again because I'm like, the whole point is that this war has gotten so big, so out of hand, I mean it's a war, that there's no way to turn it around or scale it back, too much has happened, so even if Aegon is disillusioned, even if Alicent has regrets and realizes that rules mean nothing, even if Aemond is supposed to be whoever he's supposed to be, it doesn't matter because they can't stop now, they've gone too far and that COULD be interesting because we saw that in a way with GoT, where decisions just snowball until you're having an all-out war, Ned told Cersei he knew her secret so Cersei killed Robert now there's a grab for power - Joffrey killed Ned now there's a war with the Starks, shit is getting out of hand and we just do NOT have that here. And then for Rhaenyra, I just kept being like so what are you DOING and you pacing back and forth hand-wringing about not doing anything doesn't make you not doing anything better. Daemon and his "inner turmoil" about his place means nothing to me, does nothing for me especially since it just ends with him doing what he did in season 1 anyway which is pledge allegiance to her, who CARES?

[chubbybubby]

Idea 🔞(kink with plot) 18+🔞

Sad Jack, bitchy Rhys, a little spoonful of fat shaming, then fat adoring, then Zane being the comic relief.

Rhys and Jack break up after being together for almost a year. It all comes crumbling down because Rhys wants more and Jack's still keeping a guard up, not opening up enough for Rhys to feel like he's committed to their relationship. Jack's never even said "I love you" unprompted. Rhys will say it and Jack will tease him playfully, or throw him a "well how could I not love a dumb-dumb like you", but he hasn't straight up said "I love you".

Jack acts like he doesn't care but he really does. He really really does. He can't stop thinking about Rhys, constantly wanting to rope him back in, sending him gifts or dumb notes, but Rhys is stubborn. If Jack won't take him seriously, then he won't give him the time if day.

Rhys stops even speaking to Jack for a few months outside of work. He doesn't reply to messages, doesn't respond to anything he says if it's not work, he straight up blanks him if their paths cross. It drives Jack insane, he misses Rhys like crazy, actually feeling sick that he's not in his life anymore, that he might be moving on and Jack will officially lose him forever...

The only thing that comforts him after that is junk food and carbonated drinks. Yeah, he eats his feelings, and of course, he gains weight. It's not egregious - he was already kind of chubby, classic beginner "dad bod" - but his bad habits become diabolical and the weight piles on more than he even realises (his best friend, Zayn, makes comments about it, teasing him, but Jack's in major denial).

Then there's a big fancy Hyperion party. Jack's squeezed into a new suit (because yeah all his old suits "shrunk"), and he's schmoozing with other boring high level executives, before seeing Rhys across the room, looking absolutely gorgeous with his slim fit suit and long legs and fresh face and-

It hurts Jack's heart, and having a hurt heart makes him angry.

So he excuses himself. He rounds the table of free food and grabs a plate of cupcakes and brownies and whatever else, and storms off out the party to some private room tucked away (like a board meeting room or something - somewhere unoccupied, you know). He pulls a chair out and collapsed and starts stuffing his face, wanting to replace his hurt feelings with yummy food...

"Seems weird for the CEO not to attend his own party."

Jack looks round to see Rhys standing at the door, arms crossed, face neutral. Jack jumps out of his chair and clears his throat, stunned that Rhys is talking to him; even if his tone is cold.

"Needed a break from all the ass kissing, you know how it is, pumpkin," he laughs, trying to come of suave and nonchalant, but Rhys just scowls, rolling his eyes, which (upsets) annoys Jack. "Why you even here if just being around me disgusts you so much?"

"God you're still so dense. Maybe I was hoping you'd finally changed after more than 6 months apart and realised what matters more than you're stupid ego, but I was wrong."

"Oh how would you even know if I've changed, huh?! You haven't freakin' spoken to me in God knows how long!"

"I can tell just from the last 2 minutes that the only thing that's changed about you is your damn waistline."

Rhys has always been catty, bitchy, and it was one of the things Jack loved about him...even when he was on the recieving end of it.

Jack scoffs and turns away. "Whatever. Least I'm not a stuck up pencil pushing twink-"

Jack suddenly cuts himself off when Rhys throws himself at him, slipping his hands under his suit jacket and grabbing his love handles. He pins Jack against the long table in the centre of the room. Jack gasps, his own hands landing on Rhys' shoulders instinctively, and a fast fiery blush bleeds across his face, thankfully hidden by his mask. Rhys leans in close, lips so temptingly close Jack can almost taste him.

"You got real fat." Rhys practically growls, squeezing hard at the fat deposits spilling over his hips. Jack can't help but curl his toes in his shoes; was this really turning him on right now, being fat shamed, or did he just miss Rhys that much?! "Did you miss me that much you had to comfort yourself with food?"

Abso-fucking-lutely. "No! Fuck you-"

"Awe, c'mon Jackie, be honest with me," Rhys smirks as his hand slides over to his midsection, rubbing wide circles into his belly before grabbing a roll of his fat, making Jack involuntarily buck his hips. "Without me around, you couldn't help but succumb to your own gluttony. Just admit you missed me."

Jack can't tell if the humiliation is a good or a bad thing. His dick knows, sure, but those walls that he hides behind, that he needs to keep his vulnerability safe and sound, it makes him want to run. He's frozen, staring at Rhys, letting him manhandle the fat belly he's been denying exists.

God, he's missed Rhys...he's missed those hands touching him, he's missed that face up close and beautiful, he's missed the smell of his cologne, the gentle brush of his breath, his everything. He's been trying to deny that too, that he's missed him, that he needs him, and having him here, being in his arms, being so fucking close to his lips...

He starts to tear up.

And Rhys' face drops. The smug, pissed off expression vanishes into concern, and that's Jack's Rhys, the sweet, kind, perfect man who loves being bitchy but wants those he cares about to be happy and wears his heart on his sleeve. Jack's missed him so fucking much, he can't handle it anymore, he can't stand being without him, and Jesus Christ the water works just start flooding his face.

"J-Jack? Oh, I-I'm sorry, I, uh...I should go-" but as he stars to pull away, Jack grabs him by the collar of his shirt and forces him into a deep kiss, and Rhys barely even needs a second to comprehend before he's kissing back, hands roaming Jack's body greedily.

They start undressing each other feverishly, before they're both left in just their boxers and open shirts. Jack's panting, staring at Rhys, eyes still watery, his expression so tender, like nothing Rhys has ever seen before. With his shirt open, Rhys can admire his body properly, and he really likes what he sees...yeah, Jack was chubby, and Rhys liked it, but now, his belly is so round and doughy and begging to be squeezed, accessorised by fiery raw red stretch marks, and it folds over from the way he leans, and Rhys wants nothing more than to cover it in deep love bites. Everything is bigger, his chest is fuller, his thighs are wider- God he wants to turn him over just to get a good look at how fat his ass must have gotten. Rhys is rediculously turned on, it's almost painful how hard he is.

Jack swallows down. "Rhys, I..." He chokes on his voice and clears his throat. Rhys steps in closer, cupping Jack's face, and Jack finally managed to muster up the courage. "I love you. I always have. I love you so much."

Rhys' face breaks out into a wide goofy smile. He laughs under his breath and shakes his head, tears pricking behind his eyes. "You do?" And Jack nods frantically, grabbing Rhys' arms, nuzzling into his palm.

"I've never loved anyone like I love you. I can't get you outta my mind, I think about you every freakin' day, missing you, wishing I was with you. I was so stupid, I was scared - scared of losing you, and even when I did, I still couldn't get over my own shit, but...but I don't care anymore, I can't live without you, Rhys, I can't a life without you. I love you. I love you, I love you, I love-"

He's cut off when Rhys kisses him, squeezing his face between his hands. "I love you too, Jack, you big dumb-dumb."

They laugh together, still crying, faces hurting from smiling so much. Jack lifts his hands to brush through Rhys' hair.

"It's getting long. You growing it out?"

"A little." Rhys looks down. He playfully pokes Jack's belly. "You gonna keep this?"

Jack rolls his eyes. "Yeah alright, I got fat. I'll start going to the gym ASAP-" Rhys slaps his hand over Jack's mouth, grinning mischievously as he shakes his head.

"Uh, I don't think so. I'll only agree to getting back together if you promise this doesn't go anywhere."

Jack's eyes bulge out. He moves Rhys' hand away. "You actually like the belly?"

"God, you really are an idiot sometimes, Jack. I always liked the belly. Now?" He moves his hands to slide over Jack's midsection, tenderly rubbing and squeezing at the soft flesh, making Jack inhale suddenly. "Now I love the belly. I bet it would jiggle real nice if I fucked you."

Jack can't help the pathetic whine that escapes him, squeezing his thighs together as his dick twitches. Rhys notices, biting his lip, which just makes Jack even more needy.

"I'm gonna cum my pants like a horny teenager if you keep talking like that, cupcake." But the admission doesn't stop Rhys from groping him more so, leaning in against his throat to kiss softly. Rhys glances over Jack's shoulder to notice the plate of goodies he'd snuck away with.

"You barely even touched your plate, big guy. I bet this belly of yours is so hungry." Rhys pulls a hand back to slap Jack's belly and chuckles when the older man actually moans through clenched teeth. He returns to squeezing his fat fondly, hard enough he'll leave nail bites. "I've got a proposal for you...why don't I fuck you hard over this desk while you eat? Make this cute tummy of yours happy and fatter?"

Jack's eyes involuntarily cross into the middle for a split second before he's nodding. "Please, Rhysie. Please."

And so Rhys throws Jack over the desk and gets him prepped before fucking him nice and slow, cradling his belly and whispering words of encouragement as Jack shoves the cupcakes into his mouth. By the time they're done, Jack's collapsed lazily on the table, face covered in frosting, while Rhys is kneading his plush fat ass cheeks, watching as his cum dribbles out between his cheeks. He helps get Jack's pants back on, then hikes him up with great effort to get the rest of his suit on. Jack's limbs are loose and lazy, and his face the epitome of dopey, and as watches Rhys' hands fiddle with the buttons of Jack's shirt.

When they're both dressed, Rhys gives Jack a quick kiss. "So you and me?"

Jack hums happily. "You and me, kiddo, forever." He wraps his arms around Rhys' neck. "I ain't ever letting you out my sight again."

Rhys rolls his eyes. "C'mon, let's get you to bed and into some pajamas."

As Rhys pulls Jack to his feet, the room's door is suddenly opened. The pair freeze as they're met with a new pair of eyes.

"Ah, I fucking knew you two were shagging somewhere," Zane laughs smugly, crossing his arms. "About time, too." Then he notices the icing smeared over Jack's face. "Jack, buddy, your sweet tooth is getting outta hand if you're scoffing down while Rhys plows you."

Jack sighs, much to Rhys' amusement. "Always appreciate the support, Zane."

Zane salutes theatrically. "You need a hand escorting fatty over here, boy-o?"

Despite Jack's offence, Rhys nods. "If you could. He is kinda heavy-"

"Oh so much for liking me getting fat!"

Rhys places a kiss to Jack's cheek. "I love you getting fat."

Jack raises a brow but can't help smiling. "Yeah...I love you too, kiddo."

..........

(WOW THIS ENDED UP BEING SO MUCH FUCKING LONGER THAN I PLANNED, ITS NOT A "FIC" BUT THIS IS A BIT MORE THAN JUST AN IDEA, HUH!!!!!!!)

[timeoverload]

I'm losing my mind and I don't want to feel this way. I don't think any amount of time by myself is going to make me feel better. I don't like being quiet all the time because it's boring. I already spend so much time alone. I am still sick but I just need to learn to live like this because I have no choice. I know I can still be successful with my disabilities. I'm stuck with this body forever and I need to just do the best I can. I still want to rest but I can't. I want to get better and I don't think isolating myself is going to help. I think I have a tendency to isolate myself when I am feeling overwhelmed. I need to stop doing that.

I can't stop thinking about you. I do love you and I'm always here for you even when we aren't speaking. I don't know how to approach you without triggering you. I'm not trying to reopen old wounds by not talking to you. I wasn't trying to punish you. I don't want you to feel like you aren't safe with me. I don't know if you want me to leave you alone or not. I don't know if you want space or not. I don't know what to do to help if you don't tell me. I don't know how to make things easier for you. I can't help someone who chooses to be dismissive and distant. I can't help someone who doesn't want my help. I don't know anything.

I wish you could prove that you care about me as much as you say you do. I can't force you to do anything. I don't understand why you want to keep my attention if you are only planning on keeping me at arm's length? If you aren't looking for a serious relationship, you are in the wrong place. I wish you could tell me what you want.

I think you're letting your guilt hold you back and that's not going to help anything. I forgive you. Sometimes it also seems like you enjoy living in fantasy land more than the real world. You would rather sit and pine about what you want instead of acting on it. You don't like having vulnerable or deep conversations. You avoid awkward situations as much as possible. You run away as soon as someone gets too close to you. I understand why that is difficult for you but it makes it hard to build strong connections with anyone that way.

I feel as though you are caught in a cycle and you don't know how to get out of it. I'm not sure if you want to get out of it. I'm not sure if you feel like you are set in your ways. I don't expect you to change for me.

I think you are also worried about committing because you hate it when the "honeymoon period" ends. When you truly love someone, the honeymoon phase never ends. I still feel the same way about you after all this time. You have upset me many times but it hasn't changed the way I feel. I know I have upset you too. Obviously we both still care about each other.

I am sorry for hurting you. I don't want to hurt you or make you uncomfortable. I don't know what your boundaries are or what you want from me. You are free to do whatever you want. I can't control you and I will never try. You aren't my boyfriend either, even though I wish you were.

I have come to the conclusion that it's unlikely that you will ever contact me no matter what I do. It doesn't matter how sweet I am or if I give you space. You are content where you are and I can't change that. I guess I just have to accept that you don't want a relationship with me or anyone. I am not going to get down on my knees and beg anyone for love. I understand that you don't think you need me and I can't change that. I'm not going to be annoying or bombard you with affection anymore because it doesn't seem like you enjoy that. I'm not going to send long sappy messages because it's not helping.

I am done with this push and pull dynamic. I'm going to stay where I'm at because I'm tired. I'm not going to chase you. You already know where I'm at. I don't want to be on an emotional roller coaster anymore.

I have been reading about attachment issues. It has helped me a lot so far. I recognize that I have an anxious attachment style and I need to work on that. I still think I am a lot better than I used to be but there is definitely room for improvement. I am going to do my best to stop worrying so much about things that I have no control over. I need to be better at self-soothing. I can't expect anyone to coddle me or hold my hand. I'm not going to expect people to calm me down because I am responsible for that. I shouldn't expect other people to listen to me vent about my problems all the time. I should keep that to myself more. I need to regulate my own emotions. I think I might need to get back on anxiety medication and maybe that would help too. I need to remind myself that there are a lot of supportive people in my life and I shouldn't try to rely on one person. I can't and I don't expect one person to be my primary source of happiness. I know I still need to do some introspection. I am working towards being more secure in myself so I can be more secure in a relationship if I ever get the opportunity to be in one again.

I want to start using tumblr again because I do enjoy being on here. I think I just needed a little break to think about stuff but this is my home. I am doing this for my own sanity. I can continue to work on myself while still getting to do the things that I enjoy. I shouldn't restrict myself from everything just because I don't feel good. It just makes me feel worse.

I am done reacting to things in a way that may be perceived as dramatic to others. I shut down sometimes and I need to try harder to avoid doing that. I don't want to be that way but that's also something I need to work on I guess. I don't always express my feelings in healthy ways.

I suppose I will resume my queue but I'm not going to have it set to post 24 times a day because that was a bit excessive. I want to have fun without overextending myself.

I just need to be more careful about what I post. I know I have said that in the past but I haven't been trying hard enough. I need to refrain from sharing too much about myself and I don't want to spend hours writing anymore. I have always had a problem with oversharing and I know I say a lot of shit that probably isn't appropriate. It isn't healthy and it also makes me look like a lunatic. Apparently I have 73 followers but only a few of them interact with me because I scared everyone else away with my antics. I shouldn't care so much about what strangers think but it does make it difficult to make friends on here. I have thought about making a side blog for my ramblings but I'm on the fence about that because I don't know if it would help me or not. I would probably have to keep it private. If anyone really wants to know what I'm up to, they can just ask.

I'm not going to talk about my health issues anymore because no one wants to hear about that either. I don't want to be a downer. I don't want to focus on that anymore. I'm not going to dump my problems on others. I'm tired of venting about that stuff because it's not going to make anything go away or get better. I'm tired of complaining and being negative.

I think I am just going to focus on enjoying my life by myself and do the things that make me happy. I am going to continue to tackle my mess on my own. There's not much else I can do. I will be ok. I'm not going to give up on myself. I think things will get better if I continue to work on myself and create more of a balance in my life. I am going to stay positive and grounded. :)

[etaindelaserna]

Do you mind if I ask your top 10 favorite characters (can be male or female) from all of the media that you loved (can be anime/manga, books, movies or tv series)? And why do you love them? Sorry if you've answered this question before.....Thanks....

Not at all! Thanks for asking!😊 Made me realise how hard it actually is to restrict yourself to 10 characters🙈

1) Zoro (One Piece)

I liked Zoro the moment I saw him for the first time in the anime. The character design, his fighting style, his badassery combined with his goofy moments persuaded me instantly. What made me fall in love with him was his commitment to his friends and his unyielding will to fight for his dream. Also: Always putting himself in the crossfire to protect his nakama and is prepared to do the hardest choices, because it’s the right thing to do. Just✨

2) Naruto (Naruto)

Me and Naruto didn’t click at first. The snotty, troublemaking brat, who didn’t seem to have respect for anything or anyone was annoying. That turned around rather quickly once the Zabuza Arc came around and suddenly I realised why Naruto acted the way he did. Him just wanting to be recognised by the people and find his place among them was as heartbreaking as it was powerful. This combined with his will to achieve his dream no matter how many setbacks and what everyone else told him, plus his good heart despite how people treated him, absolutely made me adore him.

3) Jack Sparrow

I think what attracted me the most apart from Johnny Depp‘s performance was his cleverness, his antics and the „thief with a heart of gold“-trope. Everything Jack does is for his one and only treasure: freedom. He is prepared to do everything he can for it but not at the expense of other people‘s lives. I think Elizabeth was spot on when she called him an „honourable man“. He is one of those characters I could watch doing the most mundane activities and never get bored.

4) Luke Skywalker

I‘ve been a Star Wars fan ever since I was 7 years old. I don’t remember why I wanted to be Luke at the playground apart from the fact that he was Jedi but as an adult I‘d say Luke represents what we all should strive to be: selfless, helping others, believing that there is a good that’s worth fighting for. At least in the OT he never abandoned his friends or family and that’s what I liked about him the most. He was optimistic, never gave up and fought for what he believed was right. I’m sucker for those kind of characters 🧡

5) Hermione Granger

Growing up with Harry Potter I admired Hermione: bookworm, hard-working, talented but not a born genius, stubborn, ordinary looking. Her resourcefulness, her intelligence, her commitment to her studies and her friends despite her obvious flaws was something I really liked about her. She could be condescending, cunning, almost cruel at times, but for the most part she was a ride or die friend, willing if necessary to die for Harry.

6) Jaime Lannister (GoT)

I think Jaime is one of the best written characters in pop culture and one of the best examples of a subversion done right. George R.R. Martin made me despise him in the beginning only to show me along the way that Jaime despite his crimes, actually is one of the few who deserve to be called a „knight of the seven kingdoms“. The core of his character is to protect the innocent but his duty is to his family. I really started to like him during his travels with Brienne. He is willing to sacrifice everything for his family and for Cersei without a second thought and that’s both his biggest virtue and his biggest flaw. The tragedy of it all is so good.

7) Loki

I still don’t know if it’s the Shakespearean aspect of the character itself or the Shakespearean vibes Tom Hiddleston brought to the character but I fell hard for Loki. The tragedy is what fascinated me the most, the idea that some of us are pushed on a certain path due to circumstances and then this path unfortunately speaks to our dark side and we stray away from the light. Also the need to be recognised by your friends, family, the community is something we all experience in our life. Maybe even the need to surpass expectations because you just feel that you have to do something great, something meaningful even thinking that this will give you the attention and connection you are craving.

8) Werther (The Sufferings of Young Werther)

Werther is one of those characters I didn’t particular like when we read the book back in school, because apart from the unrequited love aspect I couldn’t identify with any of his other problems. That started to change during my mid twenties. Times started to change and they changed too quickly for me to catch up. Then you have your family’s expectation, your own and society’s and suddenly you realise that there is no way out, that you can’t spend the rest of your days reading books and wandering around. You have to take responsibility. You have to do something useful even if it’s not the job you actually want to do. I think there are a lot of problems when you are young which turn out to be insignificant once you’ve reached a certain age and that’s one of things Goethe realized in his later years when he was asked about Werther. Werther suffered needlessly. Now when I read the book it breaks my heart because you can see so clearly all the moments and opportunities Werther had to turn around and change his mind. But he just couldn’t.

9) Spike (Buffy The Vampire Slayer)

I mean: a sarcastic, sassy, poetry loving, bleach blond, leather coat wearing vampire…do I need to say more? The coolness factor was off the charts when Spike was introduced as a new antagonist. He was cunning, ruthless, fearless but also loyal, funny and even without a soul more human when some of the humans around him. It really annoyed me when they reduced him to a comic relief in later seasons. His fate was to be a hopeless romantic who was used by all the women he admired, fell in love with and was fiercely loyal to. That just sucked. On the one hand I admired his conviction. He even got his soul back just because he thought Buffy would then love him. On the other hand I wished he would have just walked away from everything.

10) Hannibal Lecter (TV Series)

It’s the complexity and deep dive into the human psyche that attracted me to this character as portrayed in the TV series. Generally speaking I think people who don’t bother with the limitations set by society, who follow their own rules and who don’t see anything wrong with killing because it comes natural to them, is something we are fascinated by. The ruthlessness and inhumane behaviour shocks and disgusts us and yet there is also something about it that makes us want to understand. The way Hannibal seemed to manipulate everyone around him (even Will) and at the same time was just cruelly honest about who and what he was, was addictive. A predator in human skin.