#post syscovery

[pluralprompts]

Prompt #1,344

System A discovers some of their old journals from before they knew they were a system.

[littlest-bugz]

The Collective You

[one system's brief advice about accepting the idea of the collective you]

One of the best pieces of system advice started from a tumblr post and was elaborated by my DID specialist. I can't find the original tumblr post that started it, so I'm making a little post of my own <3 Share the knowledge. and also hope that someone can link the original post lol.

When I was REALLY going through it™ with my first diagnosis w/ DID, and a lack of integration, all of my alters felt like separate individuals, some of us feeling as distanced as a coworker or a stranger altogether. We were just getting a grasp on internal communication between all of our subsystems, and it was rough. We felt so entirely differentiated that we were our own people trapped in one body. While I don't really care about what language you use, all alters in CDDs are a part of one person [there's only one body and brain]- the collective you.

So obvs, I'm scrolling tumblr like the chronically online doomscroller that I am, and I see this post that goes along the line of not knowing who you are, but knowing you are 'you', regardless of who you are [referring to alters]. And it said something like "we're all me enough to pick up our meds"- something like that. iirc it was a half light hearted, half advice post, but that was really good advice for me. I kind of internalized it after I processed it in therapy. It's actually why I have started to love parts language lately tbh.

After further processing this idea in therapy, Identity Confusion stopped mattering in the grand scheme of things. I focused less on worrying about who I was, and just focused on the fact that I'm me. Just like the post I saw- We are all me. The example of all being me enough to pick up my medications just applied, like, everywhere. Even when it came down to the smallest things- with coping with other symptoms too.

Oh? I don't like coffee right now? I guess I should switch to something else. [differentiated alters]

Oh? I have barely any drawing skills right now? Okay, really sucks but I can work on something else and come back to it later. [skill variance between alters]

Oh? I have to go to a doctor's appointment? I know I'll forget that- Gotta write a list, and put it up on the board so I remember. [day to day amnesia]

You know what happened? My dissociation got better! Not immediately or entirely, obviously, and my memory [re amnesia] still sucks, but that's part of the disorder- plus other disorders that I have. This idea of the collective you is something that I think is really beneficial to all CDD systems, especially during the mid to later stages of recovery.

I, admittedly, credit most of my healing to conversations I have had with my DID specialist. Especially since, without her, I wouldn't have been able to process this idea of the collective me further, but the conversation wouldn't have been started if I hadn't seen that post on tumblr. This was a budding concept with us due to the separation we had. It helped with integration. GRANTED... Not every alter got the memo, obviously, but It's something that I'm still working on. Of course, being me comes with the prerequisite that I am a person with DID, and that I am made up of multiple parts.

Now for the piece of advice I got from my therapist- Though it requires a certain level of knowledge of your own system, such as a list of alters and some identifying info [fav drinks, fav colors, those type of things]. Look at the list of your alters wherever it may be. Just whatever you use for logging your system members. Look for the commonalities between alters. There will be at least some commonalities.

For example; A good 45% of us like bunnies, 45% like cats, and 10% have a liking for other kinds of animals. Using this information, I can pretty much deduce that 1. the collective me loves animals and 2. the collective me likes cats and bunnies especially.

Another example; I looked through our simplyplural, which has a favorite color thing [in ours at least]. By looking through the list, I figured out 1. wow I like literally all colors- my fav color is rainbows and 2. I especially like pink and light blue.

More examples; the list.. THE LIST... I looked through it and saw that a good 90% of us like MONSTER ENERGY DRINKS- of varying flavors, but the common denominator was Ultra Strawberry Dreams, but all of us like [or tolerate] water as a preferred drink. From there I can come to the conclusion that I prefer water over anything else and that I have a problem with monster [being light hearted but I genuinely do].

I hope you get the idea I'm going for. I used this process for nearly every aspect of our collective identity, though some had to genuinely be voted on, such as our LGBTQIA+ labels [offline, we just call ourself queer, but that's.. aside the point LMAO].

Obviously, there are going to be outliers- Having DID comes with the fun [/s] aspect of alters being differentiated from each other in some capacity. Example for the monster energy one- We have a handful of alters that HATE energy drinks- even just fizzy drinks in general. There's one guy who will only drink Black Coffee and water- nothing else. He's the guy who is always hiding away our monsters in the way back of the fridge, but guess what!! He's me!! The part of me that doesn't want me to ruin my health over energy drinks. The part of me that knows I deserve better than my unhealthy habits.

Getting to know the collective you is just like learning about your system! It is not inherently different than figuring out what an alters dislikes or likes are. The idea of The Collective You shouldn't feel scary or anxiety inducing- if it is, you may want to confront those feelings with a therapist if you have access to one. Every CDD system is the collective [or, well, system] of one fragmented individual- That is a studied and objective fact. I wanted to give advice from one recovering system to another.

No, this will not work for everyone, every system is different, but I'm hoping this post finds the right audience in knowing that it's worth a shot to try this!

[the-indigo-symphony]

Hi, I would like you guys' input on something if you're comfortable

Is it bad/rude that as a singlet I want to be plural? I'm not trying to romantacize it or anything (heck I was hyperfixated on DID and did a lot of research on it for like a year straight), I understand probably better than most singlets the struggles, but I can't help feeling a soul-deep sense of longing just towards the idea in general

Probably influenced by the fact that I'm a lot more identity fluid than most singlets but yeah... I want to be plural so badly and I'm really conflicted cause isn't that like... Rude?

No, it is not rude at all. In fact, this is what drives some people to become plural!

See, plurality is something that can be achieved purposely through practices such as tulpamancy. Tulpamancy is the practice of creating other headmates, consciousnesses, or persons (the term used to explain the process differs depending on preference and text; the general term for these created beings is "tulpa(s)") to live alongside their creator in their body/mind. It can be done unintentionally, but if you want to become plural, then you'd probably be looking into resources for intentional tulpamancy. If this sounds like it interests you – whether that means you just want to learn more or you think you might want to create a tulpa – then I'd recommend some of @eeveecraft's resources on the subject. A masterpost of them can be found here, but I'd particularly recommend their Tulpamancy Guide and the FAQ for their guide. Although the tulpa community is not one-to-one connected with the wider plural community, tulpamancy is still recognized as a practice that can allow someone to become plural, typically through repeated interactions with an imagined entity until it begins to form its/their own autonomy and sense of self [and become real, or their own person]. The community also has a great number of resources for bettering communication between headmates, creating innerworlds, and the like.

However, before you jump into any practices like tulpamancy, I do want to let you know that what you describe is a very common experience for those who already are plural and just don't know it yet. Before discovering their plurality, many systems describe having an undescribable connection with the plural community or longing to be plural. Considering you mention having an especially fluid identity, perhaps this is an angle you should look into? It may be possible that your longing is something closer to subconscious recognition, or a desire to be open with yourself and others about plurality that you're suppressing. Maybe this isn't the case and you really are a singlet, but I see this often enough that it felt prudent to suggest it.

I recommend trying out some basic exercises, such as seeing how it feels to call yourself plural, tracking your identity and preferences for any patterns, and practicing talking to any headmates you might have, especially before you take that step of making a tulpa (assuming you're interested in doing so). Tulpamancy can be a delicate process, and it's better to go into it with an understanding of your mental situation (and if you have any pre-existing headmates) than not. (I mean, hey, who knows? Maybe you have some unintentionally created tulpas hanging around your head. Probably best to check before you go making another one, don't you think?)

But, again, even if you're not plural, wanting to be plural isn't rude. Some say it is, but, eh, I don't really agree. I don't think wanting to be plural is the same as erasing our struggles or romanticizing our disorders or whatever. Being plural can be a wonderful thing, and I don't blame anyone for wanting to partake in plural joy. The only thing to consider is that if you're looking to become a created system (a person or system that caused their own plurality), you need to make sure you're prepared and have enough time and patience to manage any hiccups that might come up. For instance, there might be identity confusion or conflicts in the early stages of headmate creation. Tulpamancy resources and spaces typically offer advice on these kinds of troubles, but it's good to go over them and make sure you know what you're getting into before you start. After all, even if a created headmate isn't the same as a baby, bringing someone into this world is still a big commitment. Make sure to make that commitment responsibly.

In short, no, wanting to be plural is not rude. It would be rude to claim our struggles aren't that bad or that a disorder like DID isn't that big of a deal, but wanting to be something that can bring positive change to someone's life is not. You might want to investigate the possibility that you're already plural, but even if you're not, I don't take wanting to be plural – in a way, wanting to be like me – as an insult. Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, as they say!

[statesys]

; thinking back to old note entries like lmao this boy thinks he's a singlet

[silent-sentinels]

i think it'd be cool to like. let other select plurals know we're plural without letting everyone know we're plural. like some kind of secret passphrase in our bio on main that only plurals used. limp wristing at the gays yknow.

[riggedbones]

look look look everyone in isat being plural could be something you could just do with canon but it would need to be the focus of a story if you really wanted to get knee deep into it so we'd be making it a modern au. with time loops still. and stuff. siffrin syscovery time loop where the equivalent to beating the king is telling his friends about being plural and then the real answer to the time loops is them slowly figuring out how to get the others to reach syscovery. and loop is there but like as another system in a separate body. to help with the loops of course.

[stxrsys]

“I got that dawg in me” I say. Little do they know I mean it very literally. His name is Ryn and he’s a coyote/canid :)

[purpleflameb0i]

Gaybian transfemmasc pangender person to system pipeline

-N3 (she/her)

[multiplicity-positivity]

Hi! I was looking for advice and you seem pretty knowledgeable about plurality so I’d thought I’d ask you.

I’ve started to wonder if maybe I’m plural, but don’t know if my experiences are similar to something someone is neurotypical might experience. I think of myself as only having one headmate, but when it comes to interacting with people I express one of two manifestations of said headmate.

I figure it’s relatively common in people who aren’t plural to show different parts of themselves to differently people, but these two manifestations are so dramatically different to the point of being polar opposites that I’ve started to wonder.

(Some clarifying notes: While I don’t have names for these separate manifestations as they are both parts of the same individual in my head, I will refer to them as 🌟 and 🪐 respectively. I will refer to me presenting either 🌟 or 🪐 as fronting, and the version that exists in my head as the headspace version. I’m using this language just to be clear with what I mean, not to appropriate language used by systems/say I am one)

It hasn’t always been like this. When I was little, I was just ����. I was extremely extroverted, energetic, argumentative, and struggled with emotional regulation. I display these traits whenever I am fronting 🌟. 🪐 has always been around in my headspace as well, and sometimes 🪐 would front, but this didn’t happen in any meaningful capacity until I was around 9. My behavior shifted drastically, because 🪐 is very quiet, observant, and logical. My mother has told me multiple times that she felt like I got jaded in the 4th grade. Now, unless I’ve gotten to know someone well or am incredibly comfortable in the environment I’m in, I front 🪐. Around my very close friends 🌟 will front, and 🌟 will also front when I get very giddy or excited. Sometimes when 🌟 fronts I catch myself regretting it, scared I annoyed people or if people hate me, because I can’t control which manifestation of myself people talk to.

But the thing is, I don’t have any trauma that I know of, and they exist together as one identity in my headspace. My worldview, beliefs, and memories remain the same across the board. I think of myself as one person, even if someone’s experiences with me can vary drastically (this ask would be very different if you were talking to 🌟)

I figured since you interact with a fair amount of systems and are one yourself, you could maybe point me in the right direction.

Thanks for your time!

Hi! We won’t be able to confirm or deny whether or not you’re plural, sorry about that! It’s true that even singlets are multifaceted, with different sides of themselves that they show to different people at different times. And many singlets may find that they feel more extroverted and bubbly with people they’re comfortable with, and more introverted and reserved with people they don’t know that well. To us, this is pretty normal, and even some of our parts experience socialization in this way!

What we truly believe, is that if the plural framework is beneficial for you, if you are helped or comforted by the idea of being a system, then you are more than welcome to identify as such! Not all systems form from trauma - while trauma is necessary in order for someone to develop a dissociative disorder like DID, there are plenty of other ways to exist as multiple or more than one!

We have a post we wrote in the past with a ton of resources for questioning systems. We’d like to share it with you in case one of the resources there could be useful!

For anyone questioning whether or not they’re plural, the process can be difficult, confusing, and may take a long time (we know it certainly did for us!). It’s okay to go slowly and not rush to any conclusions about yourself! That being said, it’s definitely okay to try out some labels while you’re questioning to see if anything feels right or sticks out to you. There’s no harm in trying out plural labels while you’re questioning - you’re not invading any spaces or appropriating plural language by experimenting with the terms you use to describe yourself!

Finally, we’d like to recommend learning more about median systems specifically. Plurality is a spectrum, and not every system will have fully developed, unique, and separate individual headmates! We understand median systems as those who exist in between a singlet and fully separated multiple on the plural spectrum. It may be worth learning more about if you’re wondering whether or not you’re “plural enough” to call yourself a system! (Note that we’re not saying for sure that you are a median system! Rather, we’re just suggesting it as a potential research option or direction for you.)

We hope this helps! Good luck to you with navigating the waters of questioning plurality. And feel free to reach out if you have any further questions on your journey! Know that even if it turns out that you’re not plural after all, that’s okay! Hopefully the questioning process will still be insightful for you. And plural or not, you’ll always be welcome here on this blog!

[transfemzedaph]

(about the system thing) for me personally one day i felt Off and i was sort of aware that something wasn’t right. and that something was Another Guy trying to clue me in

i’ve also heard of people who’s headmates were like alright enough is enough we gotta say something and they’ll leave notes/etc to attempt to alert you to their presence

also in my experience every single person who i’ve watched have their syscovery had about one day of insane panic and denial like “oh my god this can’t be happening i’m not a system like there’s no way right. right.” and then the next day they’re like hey everyone this is my headmate jeff say hi to jeff

o7 thanku!

[speedysoda]

apparently it’s not just “wow I have a lot of kintypes and a hyperactive imagination”

I’m apparently several bitches all in one.

Wonderful.

[a-bunch-of-rats]

Hi yes hello!

Decided to make a sideblog specifically for pluralposting :))))

We've only very recently started to question our plurality so things are still very confusing and confused woopsie

We've decided on a (temporary) name for us and so we're the Odd Poets Society. Can also be called the Odd Poets for short or The Oddities!!!

As of now we've sort of identified that the host is basically constantly fronting , and then other parts/alters/identities come closer to the front and influence actions/thoughts/what we say. Either co-fronting or just near the front. Sometimes they take full control of the body but it's very rare and happens very slowly and gradually

We sort of resonate with the median term, as well as neurogenic and neurotraumagenic. We feel like our autism and borderline personality disorder have greatly influenced us not being singular. Autism in what type of trauma we experience/d (and probably other stuff) and our BPD (switching from one emotion to the other, the intensity of things ) basically participating in making our brain split things up when they were too much to handle for one person

uhhhh yeah that's it for now!!!

let us know if there are things you'd like to know about us or whatever!!

-Ashton (??)

[littlest-bugz]

Was I supposed to know that???

[a non-definitive list of things I wish I had known in early CDD system discovery]

When you are first discovering your system, or are just finding out you have some form of CDD [complex dissociative disorder], things can be really confusing and scary. Memories and Alters may surface, you might get more dissociative symptoms [or become aware of them], and just a bunch more that adds to a feeling of disorientation with your own life and identity. Things are uncertain and stressful, but I assure you, everything is okay and you will come out on top of things safely!

In the beginning of rediscovering my own system in 2021, I was really lost because I didn't turn to the internet for resources or go to professionals for help. I was almost entirely in the blind when I was getting to know my system! I didn't interact with any other systems or seek out CDD specific advice and care until December of 2023. That's all to say I was in a similar position as you may be. I was quite lost, confused, and scared as I was coming to terms with the fact that I, as an alter, did not have full control over the body and what we did, and that my memory could, and had, fail me. It was just an uncertain time, but now that I'm into recovery, I know that there are things that would've helped me going into system discovery...

If you're an already discovered system [i.e. you already know and have established contact], maybe you will learn something new or maybe you will come out with a new outlook on something! Or it might not help at all! Which is okay because everyone is different!

That being said... Strap in! this post is EXTREMELY long! [this is not an understatement- this post is criminally long]

Notes : Before I jump into the numerous points of this post, I have to preface this post with the fact of this post may be discouraging at times. I'm being so serious, but in my opinion, this post has important points. The only issue is that what I'm saying can come across as negative or fakeclaim-y, but I am not fake claiming anyone in this post! Do not take what I say personally!! I don't know who's reading this! You could be my best friend or a stranger from across the world! So you have to remember to take things with a grain of salt because, as you'll see immediately in the first point you know you better than anyone else does. I do not know you personally, nor do I know your system or situation. Take what resonates with you, and leave the rest, if that makes sense? Just hear me out before you dismiss this post as not worth your time.

Now we can actually get into the post!

-> DO NOT LET SOCIAL MEDIA WARP YOUR PERCEPTION OF CDDS OR YOUR SYSTEM

This is more a warning than the rest of this post because this is THE MOST important part of early system discovery. While I did not personally engage in most social medias during my own system discovery, this is a point I know will be important for others, especially those in early system discovery... But what do I mean by this?

Well, for starters, this is the main reason why a lot of systems struggle with validating themselves and their system. It is not healthy to compare your system to other systems. It is not healthy to look at other systems, not relate, and think that somehow means you're not a 'real system'. While sharing experiences and discussing your system, as well as listening to the experiences of other systems, is beneficial, comparing yourself to other systems will make you feel like shit. This is where a majority of posts dealing with invalidity come from. You let the internet and misinformation to shape how you view systemhood as a whole.

The notion that a large alter count is invalid is from social media.

The notion that a system is 'too complex' is from social media.

The notion that there is such a thing as too many introjects is from social media.

Seriously, I could go on. These do not matter at all, and those are not the only examples I have seen [just the most common]. Having a complex system, being introject heavy, and/or having a large system are all seen in scientific material, so the notion that it somehow makes you invalid is based in comparison and social media misinformation. You need to keep your head on your shoulders when interacting with social media, or you will damage your relationship with systemhood. Not to mention, you may internalize misinformation!

For some, not comparing themselves to others is MUCH easier said than done. I used to be one of those people! And I still am sometimes! but that's something I am working on. Which... For the sake of not only you as an alter, but also your system, I am seriously suggesting you to work on validating yourself via self help or a therapist. From one system to another, working on this will limit your denial phases and imposter syndrome. Like I said before, I'm a chronic compare-er, but when I learned to validate myself and my system, I no longer go through denial phases as a collective. Self Validation is the biggest key to flourishing as not only as a system, but also a key to thriving in life. Obviously validation from other's isn't harmful in any capacity and is very much required to flourish as a person too, but you seriously shouldn't give a fuck about people online who try to invalidate your system or system structure. Let me repeat that in a more direct way...

YOU KNOW YOU BETTER THAN SOME ASSHOLE ON THE INTERNET.

You know you even better than me too! Obviously!

With self validation, I will not leave you empty handed because simply saying "do this" is not enough for this point. I'll give you a few links and resources that will help kickstart your journey into self validation while discovering your system.

Here's my self-help link masterlist for self validation [this is a link]

-> POINT ONE ALSO INCLUDES AVOIDING SYSCOURSE.

I cannot stress how bad syscourse is for you, especially in early system discovery. From what I have seen from the very few syscourse blogs I follow, as well as mutuals and friends i talk to, it is draining and harmful for your mental health. I don't personally believe in engaging with syscourse, so I avoid it when I can- maybe I'll read a post or two, but I don't throw myself or system into it. I can imagine debating can be fun, but most syscourse is not real debating. Emphasis on *most* because I have seen real debate in syscourse spaces. Sadly though, the majority of posts I see within syscourse tags are either riddled with misinformation- from both of the sides of syscourse- or are filled with unwarranted vitriol [again, from both sides]. Not to mention the MANY posts of well researched systems just tiredly correcting the same things over and over and over again. My advice? Ignore it! Just stick to the silly memes, text posts, ask games, and informational posts. If later, when you feel more secure in your system and you want to engage with it, I support that! Just avoid it in the beginning.

-> Trauma is the response to the event, NOT the event

Thankfully, I've seen this talked about more than once in the system community, but I think it's important to talk about this here too. In order to explain this point properly, we have to discuss what trauma is. So... what is trauma?

" [Psychological] Trauma is the unique individual experience of an event or enduring conditions, in which: 1. The individual's ability to integrate his/her emotional experience is overwhelmed, or 2. The individual experiences (subjectively) a threat to life, bodily integrity, or sanity. (Pearlman & Saakvitne, 1995, p. 60) " [source]

What does this mean in the context of CDDs?

For one, a lot of systems have a hard time seeing certain traumas as traumatic for whatever reason, and for two, it's important to be reminded of this fact when going through system discovery. It's very common to be dissociated from all or most of your trauma in some fashion, whether it be emotional amnesia or black out amnesia. That means it doesn't 'feel' traumatic or there just isn't anything there. As you go through system discovery, its very highly likely that you, or your alters, will uncover trauma of some kind. Whether it be examples of emotional neglect or specific traumas, but sometimes it can be hard to accept that it was trauma or that you went through whatever. It's also common for people to misconstrue that trauma is a specific type of event when it just. is not. A lot of things can be traumatic, and someone's reaction to the same trauma will even be different.

TW: Car Crash talk, but nothing graphic.

I'll give you an example. Imagine four people got into a car crash together. Each person will have a unique response to that event. The driver becomes deeply traumatized and can never step foot in a car, the front passenger finds a weird thrill in it and seeks out similar experiences, back passenger one is traumatized but able to work through it, and the final passenger walks out fine, with no trauma. This is an example of that fact- that everyone reacts differently to the same or a similar event. One person can be deeply traumatized by, let's say, bullying, but another person may learn how to not care about what people think.

Trauma is unique to you, and you alone. What you find traumatic will not be exactly the same as another person.

I will say there are exceptions I can think of where it is always traumatic for a child, but it applies there too. Each child's response to a certain trauma is unique. This point kind of lines up perfectly with the next point because the very common misconception that trauma IS the event is built in misinformation and social media comparison [there it is again].

-> You should do your own research, but keep in mind some of the information you will find about CDDs may be outdated or filled with misinformation.

This is also important when you're getting to know your system because the first step to system discovery is doing research on your diagnosis or suspected disorder. It can help with validation because it is an external source of it! Seeing a medical paper or article that describes symptoms that align with yours is super validating! Not to mention seeing more than just one? It's amazing how much it truly helps with validation! HOWEVER. I would also extend your research into other dissociative disorders [such as DR/DP, P-DID, OSDD etc], as well as Maladaptive Daydreaming, since you may find co-morbidities or that your experience lines up better with another disorder. This is not to say you AREN'T a system, but it is an important point to bring up. It can just be that you have a different type of system than you thought! For example, believing you're an OSDD system, only to discover with research that your experience aligns more with DID.

This leads into the fact that when you're doing research on DID or any other of the CDDs that exist, you are likely to encounter misinformation, whether it be outdated information in articles or reading something on tumblr that just isn't factual! This can be confusing and mess up your ideas on what a system might look like or present as. It can even affect how you view your own system! That's why you have to do your own research! Researching can even bring validation to your experience when you research CDDs!

I will provide a few cursory resources that you may want to read as you begin researching! Keep in mind that these links do NOT account for full, proper research. This is just your kickstart!

Here's the masterlist of cursory DID research links [this is a link]

I will also add that looking into other's experience with CDDs is also a part of research! It's important to look into the experiences of other systems, but keep in mind the first point regarding self validation and comparison.

-> Identity, even in CDDs, is fluid.

A very basic and simple sum up of what DID is:

DID is the result of an inability to integrate the facets of an individuals personality during early childhood, usually due to multiple trauma-based reactions [such as neglect, abuse, natural disaster, war and other adverse experiences]. (Thank u Circ for ur help!!)

... and why do I bring this up?

Within a person who has integrated, and therefor does not have a CDD, those facets all still exist. The only difference is that they are more cohesive and as one, but all the facets are are still there. Identity within EVERYONE is fluid. Things change for even singlets! As you grow as a person, your identity shifts to reflect what you have learned. Like someone might find a gender identity they hadn't heard of that feels just right or they come across a new term that fits them better than the previous one- or they use it for a while and feel it doesn't fit them in the end. Things like this happen to everyone, including individual alters. This means you may have an alter that identifies as one gender, one sexuality, and it may change- that can be REALLY confusing as you're discovering your system because you may assume that it's a new alter all together, when it isn't.

Why I wish I knew this in early system discovery is because it would've saved me A LOT of headache when trying to log and keep track of alters. It can get really draining when you assume that every little identity shift is a new alter when it just simply is not. Sometimes it is, especially in systems where the alters present as very similar to each other, but I would stick to assuming they are not an alter until proven otherwise. This really only applies when you think you are a new alter, and not when it is through internal communication because, in my opinion, internal communication is more reliable when you're tracking alters. It's good to have an alter to 'back you up' so to speak, but it won't always be like that, especially in the beginning. This kind of leads me into my next point of this point [haha... point-ception].

-> System Discovery, and systemhood, in general, is a lot of guesstimations [guess work].

I just recently saw a post about this in the CDD tags. I actually think it's by the same author of the tumblr post I linked, but I wanted to elaborate and go into it in my own perspective. A lot of discovering your system is guess work and reading 'vibes'. This applies to a lot of aspects of systemhood- from an alter's identity to you're headcount [which I will get to later in this point]. It makes everything extremely confusing, meaning it can cause you to feel confused and discouraged, and memories that surface may seem unreal. When it comes to validating yourself and your system, you need to keep in mind that, once again, you know you better than someone else. Sometimes, there won't be external validation for things that come up with your system, such as memories that seem to have 'no evidence', but my therapist gave me some advice for this; if it's affecting you as if it's real, it's best to treat it like it is. This applies to things like body and other flashbacks. Maybe even extending to you thinking you may have a system! You have to learn to validate from the inside to know that, regardless of if it's ""real"" or not, it affects you. Does that make sense? If not I can make a follow up post to better clarify.

I mentioned headcount, and I do want to elaborate on that especially. Your Alter count is a huge amount of guess work, and is never really "concrete". You will never know cut and dry the amount of alters in your system because things fluctuate and identity is fluid. You will likely see people with a listed, exact alter count, and while that is there lived experience, things even change with people you see on the internet.

-> Alters can lie

This one is possibly the most discouraging part of this post, but a very important point to bring up. Alters, despite being the result of a failure to integrate as a child, are very much like their own people [at least, when differentiated], and people can, and do, lie. This is not to say you can’t trust your alters, but rather a reminder to be mindful when interacting with your alters, especially if you’re working with a persecutor of some kind. This is one of the ways your brain defends itself within CDDs, and isn’t any sort of moral failing on you or your alters. Alters lying can look like lying about your trauma [either exaggerating or hiding it], lying about themself, lying about aspects of the system, or other different ways.

For my fellow OCD havers ;

This is something that still messes me up with my OCD. Here is my advice to you ; if there is an alter you trust more than the others, ask for their help to be a rationalizer when you're talking to alters you feel you may not trust as much as the others. This works best if it's a gatekeeper, but it's not a necessity for the alter to be one. This is not meant to be an interrogation. It's meant to help with cross referencing. One alter might say one thing to that alter, but tell you another thing. Otherwise, my advice is to remember that if it's affecting you as if it's real, it's best to treat it like it is.

-> Start keeping a nightly journal.

Whether this be in the notes app or in a physical journal, trust me, this is a good one. Not only will it help you keep a good grasp on what your days look like, but it can also encourage external communication, which is one of the most reliable ways to communicate as a system. Sometimes it can be hard to get everyone to get on board with journaling, but I encourage you to try. I would say that you try to subconciously try to build up the idea of doing things even when you don't want to- its a hard thing to do, but if I can do it, I have confidence in the majority of people who read this post... Keep the journal in a noticeable place, or if it's on your phone, make sure that it is easily accessible. There are plenty of apps that can be used to journal as a system.

What to do if journaling is not accessible ;

If for, whatever reason, you can not write in a physical journal, or type on your phone or computer, I suggest taking voice recorded journal entries. An audio log! Not only will it make you feel cool and like you're from a detective movie [or maybe that's just me lol], but it also accomplishes the same exact purpose as having a physical journal. It can even make it easier for you if you have struggles reading. HOWEVER, if you don't feel safe enough to keep an audio log, I would go towards an app that you can use [but if it's not accessible, negate this whole point].

-> Communication is hard, but once you learn the basics, it only goes up from there.

In the system community, you're mainly interacting with other systems who have already established some form of communication within their system. It can be discouraging to see so many systems who have a grasp on communication, but you don't have any.

Learning any form of system communication, external or internal, is a learning curve. HOWEVER. When you learn the basics of any communication, it only gets easier.

Here's a link to a post full of links aimed at building communication between systems [this is a link]

With that, I'm going to end the post here! I could honestly make more points, and if there's really a need, I'll reblog with additions, but I think this is good start! I hope you learned something from this long post, and feel free to send in asks if you need any clarification! I might not be speedy to answer, but I'll do my best.

And your final reminder that I'm not a medical professional, just a system trying to help other systems.

Thank you for reading my post, and I hope you have a good day/afternoon/evening!

[critters-in-a-brain-soup]

Idk if it's a plurality thing or a gender thing, but I keep forgetting that most people see us as a woman. I'm not the only one who forgets we're perceived this way, but I personally assume half the time that we're androgynous because internally, I'm leaning masc appearance-wise. We just saw a post talking about passing and people getting confused about others' genders, and I thought, "Hey, that definitely happens to me!" And then I remembered it has, in fact, never happened. We're a 5'2" perisex afab, don't plan to medically transition in any way, and have an hourglass figure that has been described as "exactly like women are usually drawn." There's zero chance anyone is going to get confused ever

That said, testosterone might fix me specifically

[statesys]

; it's both terrifying and kinda cool to know we went from just 3 states [ me, gab && abyss ] to over 40

[digital-mindscape]

My experience:

I have been dissociating to cope with stress since I was a child. The earliest I remember doing it without a doubt was 6th grade (so about 10 years old), but part of the memory is that I remember thinking "oh, I'm doing that thing where I'm outside of my body again" which means I necessarily had done it before. It was normal to me my entire life, to the point that in college I brought it up in a jokey way as a relatable thing, only to see everyone suddenly looking at me like I had 10 heads. So everyone doesn't sometimes give up control of their body? So everyone doesn't occasionally feel like nothing is real and it's all a dream?

That's another big part of it; I often feel strange, like I'm not sure what's real and what's a dream. I often feel like I'm not real in the way a toy isn't real, or a videogame character. I feel like everyone can see my seams and stray threads except me, sometimes.

I've always had different (sometimes drastically different) "personas" for different situations. Shy one place, boisterous another, studious a third. I developed an uncanny ability to remain outwardly calm and cheerful in the face of extreme stress. I didn't realize what was happening at the time, just that I could "shove everything down" sometimes. I was always tired and almost dizzy after. I still didn't really think much of it... I thought of it as code switching. It really protected me from the feelings of guilt and shame I was constantly bombarded with at home and at church, since I was able to lock those feelings away into their own "persona" a lot of the time.

Anyway, after having the context of more awareness of plurality and my own trauma, I basically had a scary event + kind of noticed that someone else was actively fronting while I was having a panic attack. It also persisted for the rest of the evening, during which I noticed MASSIVE chunks of time missing. So for the first time I acknowledged that my dissociation might be something more. I researched and thought about it and eventually realized + came "face to face" with some of my alters for the first time.

I suspect there are some I still don't know, and that I'm wrong about some of these in some way, but it's been a little easier to manage now that I Know everyone. They even communicate with me more directly sometimes now instead of just being annoying internal dialogue that never ends...