#some more than others...
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i wanna write a fic where all the lifers struggle with being addicted to bloodlust SO BAD
#you dont understand.... my vision#how they all know its so wrong and yet they cant stop#they cant tell the friend the truth of the games. how savage they get#how much they enjoy the blood. the carnage#some more than others...#life series#trafficblr#traffic smp#wild life smp#3rd life#last life#double life#secret life#limited life#real life smp
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unpopular opinion but i think a ship that's not canon but both halves are canonically insane about each other is infinitely better than a ship that's canon and boring
#like on 911 buck and eddie have never kissed and maybe never will but buck watched eddie get shot and eddie bled all over him#and then eddie listed buck as chris's guardian in his will in case anything ever happened to eddie. insane! compelling!#meanwhile on 911 lone star tarlos is canon and they are not insane about each other and that's why the ship is boring as fuck#on night court dan and harry never kissed but harry planned dan's funeral when dan was presumed dead bc dan made harry his next of kin#and that's way more interesting than any harry/christine kiss we got#i'm not saying you can't want your ship to fuck i just don't see why some people are like 'xyz ship HAS to fuck or what's the POINT'#the point is they're insane about each other. are you not entertained#personal
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(also feel free in the tags to clarify Why you made the choice you made!! :0c)
#polls#tumblr polls#For me I think the top ones would be the House. The Money. or the Friend Group. But I ultimately might would go for the house#JUST becuase it would be my Dream House which means it would already meet mostly all of my specifications#and what I might be looking for. which would save a lot of time searching or customizing/rennovating.#Also because I could use that as a way to leave the US lol.. like .. if I get to choose my dream location.. couldnt I just choose some othe#country?? But I wonder how that works. Can you legally 100% have full ownership of a property in a country yet not be a citizen of that#country?? Would you show up and be like 'erm.. i own this house.. so i shall now live in it' and theyd be like 'uh no. you cant live here#despite owning the house. leave.' ??#So I think the initial process of 1. scraping together funds to actually MOVE myself and my most valuable belongings physically#TO another country. and 2. figuring out how to STAY in that country . might end up being difficult.. BUT. if I could just work that#part of things out then.. dream house?? security for once in my life?? stability?? :0#Though the $1mil is enticing it's also like.. I feel .. with the way housing prices are now... that's not much???#it's a lot I guess if you plan on like.. investing half the money and staying in an apartment for 5 years while you grow your wealth#or something. but if you're a 'I Need Stability NOW' ready to settle down person who would be most interested in owning a property rather#than nice clothes or a car or whatever other investments you could make then.. eh..?? It seems like unless you're okay with living in#a small town or kind of far away from the city - even some SMALL houses in majorly populated areas in the US will be like#$600.000 - $900.000 or something. like that would be MOST of my money. Which I know you could just pay partially and make#payments on it but idk.. in the option of just outright owning the house it seems like it'd end up being cheaper.#Plus I would want to own it fully asap because I'd be afraid of losing it somehow otherwise. like it being taken for medical bills or#something. which I thought was supposed to be - not IMPOSSIBLE - slightly more complicated legally if you actually have#paid off the house in full. I guess the issue then would be utilities and property tax and such. But I feel like thats overcome-able??#Like I could just stipulate that my Dream House has a little furnished addition or something and then find someone#with money and be like 'Look you can live in this extremely nice area with amazing ameneties and updated everything and ALL you have#to do is give me money to cover the utilities and property tax.'' or something like that. Like the little furnished addition is nicer#than the actual house. they have their own pool and spa and movie room or something and Ill also cook all their meals for them#or whatever (how luxurious it would be depeneds on how high the property tax actually is/how much I would need to entice them into#why it's a good deal for them to pay it for me lol). idk... something like that.. ANYWAY#I asked a few people I know though and one of them answered they'd rather have a romantic partner. the other one said they'd like#to be able to choose someone to die lol.. So I'm curious what people value the most
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missed the mark by (looks at calendar) uhhh. hm. but I really wanted to do something for the 5th anniversary! happy five years to these idiots 🎉
#art#twisted wonderland#twst 5th anniversary#i'll stop for a while now i promise i just wanted to get this out#genuinely feels a bit weird to be 5 years in already huh!#that combined with having finally finished up episode 7...#oh no all the milestones hit at once help#hold on while i reminisce for a moment#because MAN i did not expect the anime disney boy game to become so special to me#(especially my little wet rat dragon and his family)#to be fair 2020 onward was uhhh let's say prime timing for a piece of silly and unapologetically indulgent media#(not to get too real here or anything but let's just say that. some of the stuff in 7 specifically did hit a bit harder than it should've.)#but also just. you know how it goes.#sometimes a thing doesn't so much speak to you as it reaches out and grabs you by the throat#with an intensity that shocks and bewilders no one more than you#and sure you can ignore it because having any emotions about media beyond faint scorn is of course the epitome of ~cringe~#but you could also just throw yourself wholeheartedly into it#and lemme tell you one of those options is a hell of a lot more fun#idk i'm just kinda rambling here#it's been a weird five years but i'm glad to have had these guys for it#and hey if nothing else it gave us meleanor#the inside of my brain at any given point is just the 'do it for her' meme covered in pictures of our late great dragon princess#i would not have it any other way
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Any tips for being a suicidal 15 year old?
When I was a suicidal 15 year old everyone told me “it gets better”, and it sounded like bullshit. And frankly, it still sounds like bullshit. Like oh, what, I’m living in hell and you’re not gonna help me or *do* anything or give me any useful advice and I’m supposed to just hang in there on the nebulous, pithy promise that things are just gonna work out on their own? And you can’t tell me how or why, I’m just supposed to take it on the faith that I don’t have that something might change in ways I haven’t considered?
But yeah. It does. And it’s frustrating as hell.
Yes, things are gonna get better, and they’re gonna get better in ways I can’t describe even after experiencing it myself. Things you don’t even know CAN be different WILL be different. One day you’re just going to step outside and realize things got better somewhere and you didn’t even notice it happening.
And there’s really nothing I can say that makes that sound even a little bit believable.
I guess all I can tell you is that you have to want to believe it.
#Sorry I can’t give you more than that#But it’s true#And if it helps to hear#you haven’t really had the chance to LIVE yet#Do you really want to cancel a subscription to a service you haven’t used?#Maybe check out the features first#You really have nothing to lose#And you may never get a second shot#There’s a lot of cool shit out here#like this is the COOLEST PLANET#We’ve got glowing bugs and music and pasta#No other place in the whole universe has Mario Party or cats or the harmonica#There are some things you should see before you leave#All I do is keep looking for things#Would you go to Paris and just stay in the airport?#Of course not#At least get a croissant#take some stupid tourist pictures#buy a keychain#SOMETHING
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i have chronic pain. i am neurodivergent. i understand - deeply - the allure of a "quick fix" like AI. i also just grew up in a different time. we have been warned about this.
15 entire years ago i heard about this. in my forensics class in high school, we watched a documentary about how AI-based "crime solving" software was inevitably biased against people of color.
my teacher stressed that AI is like a book: when someone writes it, some part of the author will remain within the result. the internet existed but not as loudly at that point - we didn't know that AI would be able to teach itself off already-biased Reddit threads. i googled it: yes, this bias is still happening. yes, it's just as bad if not worse.
i can't actually stop you. if you wanna use ChatGPT to slide through your classes, that's on you. it's your money and it's your time. you will spend none of it thinking, you will learn nothing, and, in college, you will piss away hundreds of thousands of dollars. you will stand at the podium having done nothing, accomplished nothing. a cold and bitter pyrrhic victory.
i'm not even sure students actually read the essays or summaries or emails they have ChatGPT pump out. i think it just flows over them and they use the first answer they get. my brother teaches engineering - he recently got fifty-three copies of almost-the-exact-same lab reports. no one had even changed the wording.
and yes: AI itself (as a concept and practice) isn't always evil. there's AI that can help detect cancer, for example. and yet: when i ask my students if they'd be okay with a doctor that learned from AI, many of them balk. it is one thing if they don't read their engineering textbook or if they don't write the critical-thinking essay. it's another when it starts to affect them. they know it's wrong for AI to broad-spectrum deny insurance claims, but they swear their use of AI is different.
there's a strange desire to sort of divorce real-world AI malpractice over "personal use". for example, is it moral to use AI to write your cover letters? cover letters are essentially only templates, and besides: AI is going to be reading your job app, so isn't it kind of fair?
i recently found out that people use AI as a romantic or sexual partner. it seems like teenagers particularly enjoy this connection, and this is one of those "sticky" moments as a teacher. honestly - you can roast me for this - but if it was an actually-safe AI, i think teenagers exploring their sexuality with a fake partner is amazing. it prevents them from making permanent mistakes, it can teach them about their bodies and their desires, and it can help their confidence. but the problem is that it's not safe. there isn't a well-educated, sensitive AI specifically to help teens explore their hormones. it's just internet-fed cycle. who knows what they're learning. who knows what misinformation they're getting.
the most common pushback i get involves therapy. none of us have access to the therapist of our dreams - it's expensive, elusive, and involves an annoying amount of insurance claims. someone once asked me: are you going to be mad when AI saves someone's life?
therapists are not just trained on the book, they're trained on patient management and helping you see things you don't see yourself. part of it will involve discomfort. i don't know that AI is ever going to be able to analyze the words you feed it and answer with a mind towards the "whole person" writing those words. but also - if it keeps/kept you alive, i'm not a purist. i've done terrible things to myself when i was at rock bottom. in an emergency, we kind of forgive the seatbelt for leaving bruises. it's just that chat shouldn't be your only form of self-care and recovery.
and i worry that the influence chat has is expanding. more and more i see people use chat for the smallest, most easily-navigated situations. and i can't like, make you worry about that in your own life. i often think about how easy it was for social media to take over all my time - how i can't have a tiktok because i spend hours on it. i don't want that to happen with chat. i want to enjoy thinking. i want to enjoy writing. i want to be here. i've already really been struggling to put the phone down. this feels like another way to get you to pick the phone up.
the other day, i was frustrated by a book i was reading. it's far in the series and is about a character i resent. i googled if i had to read it, or if it was one of those "in between" books that don't actually affect the plot (you know, one of those ".5" books). someone said something that really stuck with me - theoretically you're reading this series for enjoyment, so while you don't actually have to read it, one would assume you want to read it.
i am watching a generation of people learn they don't have to read the thing in their hand. and it is kind of a strange sort of doom that comes over me: i read because it's genuinely fun. i learn because even though it's hard, it feels good. i try because it makes me happy to try. and i'm watching a generation of people all lay down and say: but i don't want to try.
#spilled ink#i do also think this issue IS more complicated than it appears#if a teacher uses AI to grade why write the essay for example.#<- while i don't agree (the answer is bc the essay is so YOU learn) i would be RIPSHIT as a student#if i found that out.#but why not give AI your job apps? it's not like a human person SEES your applications#the world IS automating in certain ways - i do actually understand the frustration#some people feel where it's like - i'm doing work here. the work will be eaten by AI. what's the point#but the answer is that we just don't have a balance right now. it just isn't trained in a smart careful way#idk. i am pretty anti AI tho so . much like AI. i'm biased.#(by the way being able to argue the other side tells u i actually understand the situation)#(if u see me arguing "pro-chat'' it's just bc i think a good argument involves a rebuttal lol)#i do not use ai . hard stop.
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he's still not sure what he's doing but he's doing ok
#bg3#baldur's gate 3#astarion#dadstarion#tav#i think realising you can't protect your kid from everything is probably quite hard for him???#like you can love your child more than anything and it's still not enough if some other dickhead decides to go for them#i also think kit takes after him in being very very introverted and he's also very shy and sensitive so he doesn't take it well#anyway several teachers were mysteriously never heard from again
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I created a pile of cats and then I colored the pride flags into it. Idk, enjoy. Don’t “steal” them ig, but like, you can share them, just don’t say you made ‘em. Whatever, my signature’s on it.
Yay pride month!
Update: there are more! I reblogged with the extras but I don’t think many people have seen, so here: https://www.tumblr.com/chanceofwhat/753498899252150272/dang-yall-love-this-thanks hope that link works lmao
#some of them got cat-to-cat shade variations#some of them didn’t#I just sort of had fun#yes the aroace is the best one because it me#that one and the non-binary one and the trans one got more of my attention than the others#nonbinary#trans#asexual#aromantic#aroace#pansexual#genderfluid#bisexual#lesbian#happy pride 🌈#pride#lgbt+ pride#enby#non-binary
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babygirl
#dragon age#dragon age veilguard#dragon age art#dragon age emmrich#emmrich volkarin#dragon age 4#me posting da art in 2024? more likely than you think#veilguard is quite MEHH and I don't think I can -recommend- it to anyone#but emmrich is a babygrill and my boo so I guess it at least has that going#it has some other good things but otherwise everything has been...lukewarm at best if that makes sense#endrae art#doodle#emmrich#da4
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Im sorry but being aromantic and/or asexual is such a beautiful, complex identity that opens up almost endless possibilities and interpretations about sex and romance and relationships and struggles within those,
and i will always absolutely LOATHE how both the outside and the aro/ace community itself have boiled these identities down to just "doesnt have sex" and "doesnt date"
#Like as a sex pos romance positive individual i feel so alienated from what is supposed to be my community too#Just for once id like to see a relatable post where an aro/ace describes how they are having sex/dating and how it feels different#from the way allos do it#cause it is different and it is amazing and i never see that pointed out#demy speaks#asexual#aromantic#aroace#aromantism#ace#aro#and just to be clear im not saying one is struggling more than the other or that one is better or more aro/ace#Nor am i saying that the “doesnt date/have sex” posts are bad#Its just...some variety would be great yknow? This is way more complex of an identity than the community is making it out to be
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i forgor that siffrin doesn’t have a hat post-game
#in stars and time#isat#isat siffrin#isat odile#isat isabeau#isat mirabelle#isat bonnie#isat fanart#isat spoilers#my art :)#congrats siffrin on the new hat!! definitely not contraband!!#i get that siffrin has some reason to be arguably more of a “traveler” than the others#i just think that it's really funny that -#- odile “born and raised on the other side of the world” isat was also given an arguably incorrect title when “traveler” refers to her too#it's even mentioned in the game when the king has to clarify which traveler when he talks to sif before battle
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I wish we could have met in some other way.
Lawlight Week Day 2: Soulmates
If you saw me repost and re-edit this several times uh No you didn't </3
Still frames/Individual gifs:


If you know what every frame is from you get a free cookie. by the way
#death note#dn#light yagami#l lawliet#lawlight#oh god here we go#death note jdrama#death note 2015#death note 2006#death note musical#lctw#l change the world#dntm#lawlightweek2024#my art#collapses i am NEVER putting this much effort in one piece ever again /hj this was the Only one i had mostly prepared in advance#ironically the most painstaking part about making this entire thing was converting the images into an animated file#that wasn't either horrifically compressed or just. wouldn't loop. why do gifs have to look so BAD it's so inconvenient#and THEN i realized I had to forcibly Stitch the two animations together so they would actually be synced and it wouldn't look dumb#and the end result is STILL so compressed. because Tumblr. uhhh just don't click on it it'll look so scuffed LOL. anyways#this is what i get for watching Every Adaptation of Death Note. i am a death note multiverse truther#usually i'd have something clever to say in the tags but. this drained the life out of me just uh.#yeah. they're doomed in every universe. this is the only way they could've met. they are doomed by their own natures and the#circumstances that surround them. there is no universe where light tries to prevent L's death. and even in the cases where L Doesn't die#there is no universe where L can save light. there is no universe where he can truly “catch” Kira and make him see where he went wrong#(<- if you read LCTW you know. :) )#in every universe and adaptation L will call Light his first friend. in some universes they'll take that notion more seriously than others#no matter what one of them will die due to the other. its the only constant. it's the only way it can ever be. they are the others downfall
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They took David out of the surfing scene and gave his caretaking role to a made up woman character because modern Disney executives can't wrap their head around a man wanting to take care of a child that's not his after being rejected by her sister and so having nothing to gain from it. You cannot convince me otherwise.
#the whole movie is just propaganda#in some ways that are more significant than others#but ive never seen anyone bring up this part and ik it was done with an agenda#animated david kawena was gentle and nurturing and the pinnicle of positive masculinity and for that he was written out#lilo and stitch#lilo and stich 2025#lilo and stich live action#lilo and stitch 2002#david lilo and stitch#david kawena#positive masculinity#fyp
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[Image description: A digital drawing of Iris Campbell from the film Final Destination Bloodlines. It depicts her on the night of the Skyview premonition, wearing her blue dress with white accessories. One of her hands in being pulled to the left out of frame, her body being tugged along with it. Her other arm hangs limply. Below the engagement ring, her ring finger is coloured a bright red, which drips off of it into a curved line. This line travels to the right and splits off into eight different lines of varying sizes, each one with an arrow tip. One of these arrows travels behind her head, and spirals as it travels. These tips all point towards a penny falling downwards. Iris is turning her head and gaze towards it. Her eyebrows bunch up and her mouth falls open slightly as sweat drips down her face. The background is a bold, warm yellow, which contrasts greatly against the blue of her dress and the red of the arrows.]
waiting for the penny to drop
#final destination bloodlines#final destination bloodlines fanart#iris campbell#iris campbell fanart#final destination#final destination fanart#digital art#final destination bloodlines spoilers#(<- just to be on the safeside - but I dont think this really spoils anything?#its mostly some symbolism u wouldnt understand unless u watched it lol)#anyway loved this new fd film!!! such a pleasure to see in cinema 🥰#(well it made me really paranoid and squeamish but thats good for the franchise haha)#the Iris bits in the 60s were my fave part - and i do still really want a fd film thats fully a period piece#but obvs all the present day stuff was really great too 🥳#also really made me wanna rewatch the rest of the franchise (especially 1 and 3 - my faves) and maybe do some art for them too <3#also i tried to make the arrows sort of correspond to deaths in the film but you'll have to figure that out yourself 🤫#jk just ask me if u wanna know (i dont wanna put too many spoilers here just yet?)#also some of them were more thought out than others
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because sometimes there are invisible tests and invisible rules and you're just supposed to ... know the rule. someone you thought of as a friend asks you for book recommendations, so you give her a list of like 30 books, each with a brief blurb and why you like it. later, you find out she screenshotted the list and send it out to a group chat with the note: what an absolute freak can you believe this. you saw the responses: emojis where people are rolling over laughing. too much and obsessive and actually kind of creepy in the comments. you thought you'd been doing the right thing. she'd asked, right? an invisible rule: this is what happens when you get too excited.
you aren't supposed to laugh at your own jokes, so you don't, but then you're too serious. you're not supposed to be too loud, but then people say you're too quiet. you aren't supposed to get passionate about things, but then you're shy, boring. you aren't supposed to talk too much, but then people are mad when you're not good at replying.
you fold yourself into a prettier paper crane. since you never know what is "selfish" and what is "charity," you give yourself over, fully. you'd rather be empty and over-generous - you'd rather eat your own boundaries than have even one person believe that you're mean. since you don't know what the thing is that will make them hate you, you simply scrub yourself clean of any form of roughness. if you are perfect and smiling and funny, they can love you. if you are always there for them and never admit what's happening and never mention your past and never make them uncomfortable - you can make up for it. you can earn it.
don't fuck up. they're all testing you, always. they're tolerating you. whatever secret club happened, over a summer somewhere - during some activity you didn't get to attend - everyone else just... figured it out. like they got some kind of award or examination that allowed them to know how-to-be-normal. how to fit. and for the rest of your life, you've been playing catch-up. you've been trying to prove that - haha! you get it! that the joke they're telling, the people they are, the manual they got- yeah, you've totally read it.
if you can just divide yourself in two - the lovable one, and the one that is you - you can do this. you can walk the line. they can laugh and accept you. if you are always-balanced, never burdensome, a delight to have in class, champagne and glittering and never gawky or florescent or god-forbid cringe: you can get away with it.
you stare at your therapist, whom you can make jokes with, and who laughs at your jokes, because you are so fucking good at people-pleasing. you smile at her, and she asks you how you're doing, and you automatically say i'm good, thanks, how are you? while the answer swims somewhere in your little lizard brain:
how long have you been doing this now? mastering the art of your body and mind like you're piloting a puppet. has it worked? what do you mean that all you feel is... just exhausted. pick yourself up, the tightrope has no net. after all, you're cheating, somehow, but nobody seems to know you actually flunked the test. it's working!
aren't you happy yet?
#almost wrote the champagne line as ''effervescent'' but legit could not write it without saying ''effervescent like a snail''#ah tumblr...#writeblr#warm up#idk . having trouble writing rn#ps i don't like to talk about it . it is my medical information. but before you ask. yes this is about being on the spectrum#i really don't like when ppl make my writing about how im [whatever ID]. i want it to ring true for the people who it rings true for#i don't want it to be like ''awwwww look at this person!!! she's the EXCEPTION!!! :)" .....#no.... not really.....#idk something gross happens whenever i admit to certain conditions and i turn into like inspiration p*rnography#like yes they actually let us use keyboards these days#furthermore i just... dont feel comfortable talking about this part of me. i had too bad of a childhood. adhd is one thing...#this one im like. still coming to terms with. which is like. my own journey.#idk. just please be kind. some things are more private than others. this one feels private to me.#i do not know how to help others w/this . and i do not know how to help myself. i will talk about it if im ever ready. idk if that will#actually ever happen#ty in advance i love u im kissing you we are kissing somewhere on the spectrum
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i genuinely don’t think most of y’all realize how “i hate humanity, we’re inherently evil and irredeemable” is 1) some puritan bullshit and 2) actively damaging to literally any activism you partake in
#you have to love whoever/whatever you’re serving more than you hate whoever/whatever you’re up against!!!#you have to!!!#we are not born evil and flawed!!!#we’re morally neutral at absolute worst!!!#yes some people will go to do the most heinous things imaginable#but others will grow to preform the most loving selfless acts#YOU HAVE TO LOVE!!!!#to quote my favorite cowboy game: take a chance that love exists and do a loving act#activism
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