#source: TFS

[madman479r]

Jaune: **In the Evernight castle, tied up in chair** You honestly think I'll talk? I'm already messed up in the head so psychological torture won't work, my aura basically makes me a tank and I get more joy out of denying you anything.

Cinder: **sitting across from him** Oh, you'll talk, but for now we wait for Salem.

**Salem walks into the room and wearing... glasses? With a clipboard in hand?**

Salem: Ah, I see we're ready to begin your first session. **Sits on chair**

Jaune: Session? What kind of session? The hell are you talking about?

Cinder: Wow. You're going to act like it's not a big deal? You worthless thankless ingrate! I can't believe i-!

Salem: Alright, let's calm it down. Take a deep breath... *inhales through nose* Good. Now Cinder, let's address the issue.

Cinder: The issue? The issue is that I spend days, weeks, months devising my nefarious plans, kill the people whose deaths would have the most psychological impact on him and what does he do? He goes and gets himself a new archnemesis !

Jaune: New archnemesis? What the fuck are you-

Salem: Mr. Arc, please, this is Cinder's turn. Now, how did that make you feel, Cinder?

Cinder: ...It made me feel hurt. It made me feel inadequate. Like I'm not bad enough, especially when I get replaced by some fairy tale cat.

Jaune: ...You gotta be fucking kidding me. The Curious Cat? That is what this is all about?!

Cinder: Hmph, seems like you still remember his name.

Jaune: I spent 20 years being mentally battered by that bastard cat, of course I'm gonna remember his fucking name!

Cinder: Oh? Only mentally? I attack you mentally, also emotionally and physically yet he just has to gaslight you a bit and he's your new archnemesis?! See? This is what I'm talking about!

Jaune: We literally fought one another as soon as we saw each other. You saw Ruby first and headed straight for me. It was literally on sight.

Cinder: Yeah, well, I bet you would have fought the Cat instead if he were there!

Jaune: Oh, for fu-

Salem: Alright , let's not get too off topic. Jaune, tell us: How was it that the Curious Cat became a person of intimate hatred in your eyes?

Jaune: I spent years in the Ever After and that little shit pretended to be my friend and guide, but in reality only wanted me for my body. He had me tell him my story and tried to gaslight me into remembering events and people differently to make me lose my mind. It got worse after Alyx-

Cinder: Oh, so now there's another girl involved?!

Salem: Cinder, please, this is Jaune's turn.

Cinder: But all that cat did was practically inconvenience Jaune compared to what I did to him!

Jaune: You know, Cardin wasn't like this when you came along.

Cinder: Oh! ...So that's what this is now, huh?

Salem: Now, Cinder. Nobody is saying you aren't Jaune's archnemesis anymore.

Cinder: No! I want to hear it from him!

Jaune:...

[incorrectsmashbrosquotes]

MORE Xenoblade X Quotes because I am UNWELL

Stages of Hope and Murderess' relationship:

First Meeting:

Hope: I can fix her!

Murderess: I can make her worse!

After Ornella:

Hope: She can fix me...

Murderess: I'll just make her worse...

After completing their final affinities:

Hope: I don't need to fix you.

Murderess: And you're not broken.

-

Luxaar: You know Ryyz, I'm beginning to think my minions don't know what I pay them for.

Ryyz: You don't pay us.

Luxaar: Ugh, allow them to live for. I mean first we lose... uh what was her name?

Ryyz: Gothtea?

Luxaar: Goth-tea. Then the Tree Clan Prone are liberated and now Ga Jiarg betrays us? I'm sorry, but if this goes any further south we're going to hit Space Mexico!

Ryyz: Well, what would you have ME do about it?!

Luxaar: well what I want YOU to do about it is pull up your frilly stocking, tighten your thing, and stop BEING SUCH A-

Cross, blasting through the side of the ship, sword drawn: PANSY!

-

Cross, seeing a Grex for the first time: What the fuck is that, is that a fucking cat?! Ey, don't fucking look at me like that, that's a weird looking fucking cat! EY! ELMA! THERE'S A WEIRD FUCKING STRAY CAT OUTSIDE! I DON'T WANT IT SCARIN' LIN! *sees Lin in the window* Lin, it's okay, it's okay sweetie don't worry about it.

Lin: Uh-

Cross, pointing at the Grex: ELMA! ELMA THERE'S A WEIRD FUCKIING STRAY CAT OUTSIDE! IT LOOKS LIKE GRANDMA THE FUCKING THING! *looks back at the Grex* Get the fuck outta here! I don't even know if that's a fucking cat! BLINK MOTHERFUCKER!

*the Grex charges him*

Cross: EY, NONONONONONONON-

[incorrect-dnangel-quotes]

Satoshi: The last time I let Krad take over my body, he destroyed 5 artworks!

Satoshi: ...He laughed when I said '5'...

[shadow-coolness]

*Its halloween in Gotham*

Baby Doll: *in her cutesy voice* It is I! Draculina! Queen of all darkness! Now give me candy!

Gotham Citizen: Aw, what a cute vampire costume.

Baby Doll: *adult voice* Wha--Cute? Mariam! You said I was mysterious and sexy! You told me vampires were mysterious and sexy!

Gotham Citizen: Oh, who's that? Your mommy?

Baby Doll: That is my wife!... Why are you staring at me like that?

[ssj2hindudude]

If the Sleeper spoke to Baby Boo after he learned to talk:

BB: Wait, who's Shakuni?

Sleeper: You're Shakuni

BB: I thought his name was Boo.

Aru: His name is Boo

Sleeper: No, it's Shakuni!

BB: But she just said Boo!

Aru: Yeah, I did!

Sleeper: I know what she said, but-

BB: So what is it, Shakuni or Boo?

Aru, at the same time: It's Boo!

Sleeper, at the same time: It's Shakuni!

Sleeper: No, no, no! Just...look. His Mahabharata name is Shakuni. But he changed it to Subala when he reincarnated into a pigeon. So now these brats call him by that nickname while I call him by his real name!

BB: ...so can I just call myself Gandhara or?

*Sleeper charges at BB only to get a face full of fire*

[zorangezest]

more of this miserable thing I made, somehow it became A Whole Au… no it does not get any better for them LMAOOOAOAOOA

it’s a father/son descent into madness! im calling it DON’T DO THIS, DAD and it’s mainly about frenzy and soundwave’s extremely ill-omened endeavours to bring rumble back to life. yes rumble is very much around and actively haunting them. no he doesn't consent to this

start

next

[tyriq-edits]

Would you fall in Love with me again?

[silverior968]

Mortifying! Transformers equivalent of nearly 30yo man forced to third wheel his parents

[Image ID: A digital drawing of RiD15 Ratchet, Optimus and Bumblebee. Optimus and Ratchet are holding hands with Optimus smiling gently and Ratchet either talking or laughing. Bumblebee is walking next to them, looking bored. The background is mostly white, except for a patch of grassy dirt defined under their feet. The artist's signature, Silverior968 is overlayed over the image in green. / End ID]

[unicornblossom13]

Optimus: Do you want to cuddle?

Megatron: I am a millennium old gladiator, turned Decepticon warlord, who has killed thousands.

Optimus: So yes?

Megatron: Yes, please.

[slut4-haydenchristensen]

soap: i once had a haircut that i deeply regretted

ghost: is it the one you have now?

soap: no

ghost: it should be

[swiftyangx12]

Cybertronian!Reader

[D/N] = Designation (Your Name)

[The Nemesis gets an alarm for a possible intruder.]

[D/N]: *Breaks into the Nemesis and marches towards the Warlord* I know you’re in here, Megatron, you big fucking nerd. Where’s my goddamn money?

[Context]: Megatron and [D/N] made a bet from a long time ago and after cycles passed, they won the bet. They were chasing after him to collect what was rightfully theirs.

P.S. Megatron is actually scared of them. That’s why he hasn’t paid up until now.

[madman479r]

Jaune: Stop it, Cinder, this isn't like you! You're not a bad person.

Cinder: Since when?! *powers up* when, on this worthless planet, did I ever become a quote unquote "good person"?!

Grown up Adrian: You were at Neptune's barbecue last week!

Cinder: Yeah, and I brought potato salad.

Jaune: *Powers up* She is truly lost to us.

[daddiesdrarryy]

Draco: You’re a very…very handsome bloke, Potter

Harry: What?

Draco: I’m trying to be nice

Harry: Well cut it out! It’s unsettling!

[shadow-coolness]

*When the gods were fighting Ogrest*

Iop:Boom chicka aah! Boom chicka aah! Boom, boom, boom, boom! Iop dick is better then Green Dick!

*Ogrest grabs Iops fist and punches him in the face*

Iop: OH MERDE MUTHAF*CKAAA— *Crashes into a mountain*

*So many years later*

*Goultard is fighting Oropo*

Vlad and Vald:Boom chicka aah! Boom chicka aah! Boom, boom, boom, boom! Iop di-

Goultard: What are you doing?!

Vald: We're trying to amp you up!

Goultard: Well it's distracting! (gets caught and blasted.)

All 3: OH MERDE MUTHAF*CKAAA—! *Crashes into the ground*

[ssj2hindudude]

Suyodhana: Sleeper, look! More children!

Suyodhana, looking at Brynne: There's the tall one

Suyodhana, looking at the twins: The two small ones

Suyodhana: And- *gets to Rudy in Naga form* -uh. Uh.

Suyodhana: SLEEPER. LOOK. A Pokemon.

Rudy: I'm not a Pokemon! I'm Rudy! Rudy!

Suyodhana: You hear that, Sleeper? It's a Rudy!

Suyodhana, drawing a Pokeball: I'm gonna catch it!

Rudy: I told you, I'm not a Poke- *Suyodhana throws it at his face* OW!

Suyodhana: Aww, it didn't work, Sleeper.

Sleeper: That's because you have to damage it first.

Suyodhana: Alright! Let's see if I can get a critical!

*Rudy cringes*

Mini, looking at Aru and Kara: So, which one of you is the shiny?

[alphagirl404]

Megatron & The Primes

*the ghosts of the Primes are shielding an unconscious Optimus Prime from an angry Megatron*

Megatron: You've turned Orion against me!

Ghost!Alpha Trion: You have done that yourself…

Megatron: YOU WILL NOT TAKE HIM FROM ME!

Ghost!Megatronus: Your anger & lust for vengeance have already done that. You have allowed The False Prime, Sentinel, to twist your mind until now…until now you have become the very thing you swore to destroy