#speech problems

[yellow-lemon-lime]

An anecdoctal tale on how having to learn a new language in my 30s helped my overall speech.

Under cut because I still ramble way too much it seems

I have had speech problems for years. I suspect they have been there for longer than I remember, but they came especially prevalent to me in my teenage years because that was when people around me started saying "speak slower" or "HTL" which translated to English is an acronym for "loud, clear and slow" and I came to despise whenever people would say that, which they sometimes would before I had even started saying anything. It was as if they expected the worst. The thing though was that I couldn't hear my own speech as being particularly fast, so when I did try to slow down it would feel like I was "humping" along the words and it just felt unnatural for me to speak like that. I did seek help in 2022 (I think?) and met with a speech therapist who not only confirmed that I had both stuttering and cluttering, but she also did these excersises with me as well hear my backstory and look at the psychological aspect of my speech. Also an interesting thing that she did is, one time my brother called on the phone while I was at an appointment (I don't remember if he had called while I was in the waiting room, or if I called when I was already in the ST's office) but while I was having the 1-2 minute conversation with my brother, she had apparantly been listening to and analysing my speech, because she told me afterwards the pattern she had heard. I think it's a very common thing to do when you come across something that you are an expert in (in her case, speech) to analyse things (in regards to your patient, she obviously wouldn't go up to a random stranger on the street and give her thoughts to them about the way that they speak).

During these speech therapy appointments I realised that part of my speech problems stemmed from the fear of not being taken seriously, but it was like the snake that bites its own tale, because my speech made me sound anxious and uncertain, but it was my anxiety and uncertainty that caused me to have speech problems. I was a very very shy kid and it didn't wasn't much better in my teens either, and my speech often depicted that, but only to an extend, because if I was with people who didn't make me nervous (which were very few) I would still talk fast and cluttered, but there wasn't the usual "They probably think I'm an idiot because I can't speak normally"-idea in my head.

Coincidentally 2022 was also the year that a Finnish guy sent me a message, which changed my life. I moved to Finland, got married to that guy, and as a consequence of moving to Finland, I am now in the process of learning Finnish (I moved in January 2023 and started officially learning in February 2023, although I did do a little bit of intimidating green owl before I moved, but I haven't used that one since coming to Finland) My language learning was also severally halted for over a year by my former job because it was English-speaking and in my free time I would be so depleted of energy (long commute) that even when I went to the Finnish course I wouldn't able to comprehend what was being said even though it was like A1 Finnish that I normally have no trouble understanding. I am now without a job (the job market here is really really bad, everyone knows that, I have also reach the age where I am not willing to risk my health, my fertility or my relationship for a workplace that won't even remember me in 20 years, which makes it more important for me to actually learn Finnish so I have a better chance of finding a workplace where language isn't a problem (although to be fair even for Finns finding a job is hard, so who the hell knows what to do)

But although my learning was halted for a very long, I did notice another change recently, and I had at first attributed it to being in my 30s, way older and more different thinking than my teens and 20s (and also escaping a family with a mother who I later realized neglected me emotionally. I still talk to her sometimes, but there's nothing in me that screams I'm her daughter, and whenever I think I have a physical trait that looks like her, I have to remove it instantly) but the change I noticed was beyond my own shyness and lack of hugs in my childhood. Finnish is often considered one of the hardest languages to learn so when having to start learning it in my 30s I knew that it was going to be a struggle and an uphill battle, but that was also what ultimately helped me view the psychological aspect of my speech problems in the languages I know by heart. Throughout my teenage years and 20s I was afraid of speaking to people and engaging in conversation because I feared sounding stupid, or saying the wrong word or just generally messing up my speech, would make them either think I was dumb, or they would feel overly sorry for me. When speaking Finnish I know that I will often use the wrong word for something, that I will conjugate a word wrong, that I will mess up complete sentences and that my speech will be far from good. And knowing that it will most likely sound stupid whenever I speak Finnish, ultimately set me free from worrying how I sound when I speak the languages that I know fluenty.

These are still only my experiences, my speech problems came from a mental problem, so I'm not even sure starting to learn a new language would benefit someone whose speech problems are because of physical trauma, and I'm not even sure if other people whose speech problems ARE an effect of mental illness and mental trauma could be helped by learning a new language. My knowledge of how acquired languages work in comparison to native languages in the brain is nonexistent. These are just anectdotes and what I personally experienced.

[autisticlee]

people: JUST TALK TO PEOPLE

me: HOW?!

them: JUST DO IT ITS EASY

me: opens mouth and no sound comes out

them: STOP BEING WEIRD AND QUIET

me: how to make sound come out? how make brain form words?

them: JUST SAY WORDS. STOP CHOOSING TO BE WEIRD AND QUIET!

me: tries to force self to say words

them: WHAT? CANT HEAR YOU! WHY YOU MAKE NO SENSE?

me: dissociates and shuts down completely due to trauma of never being heard/understood whole life when forcing self to speak and using up all energy......stims uncontrollably and makes people avoid me even more

[utsukurou]

The benefit of talking too fast is that you're automatically good at rapping

[spooksforsammy]

Been trying to work on aac. Figure out what tablet and app need.

Want keep using Avaz but maybe benefit from something… “more”.

The thought of using proloquo2go scares me in a way. It might be the set up of the app…

Maybe want try grid 3 and TD snap. Seem like good useful apps and Amy doesn’t hate the set up like proloquo.

Want iPad but so expensive and don’t know now much storage is needed. Thinking save up for iPad mini or some type of iPad Air… but so unsure.

Any help very appreciated, need know as much as possible so can figure out how much needs to be saved up.

[muddypeeps]

I've had speech problems since I was young, but it still greatly annoys me when people can't understand what I'm saying as to me I was saying it perfectly fine. I just wish I didn't have to repeat myself so often.

[s4dsh1tsandg1ggl3s]

Thats...not ok.

Im becoming to introverted. (Mind you im an INTJ-T)

Explaining in undercut

The reason Im saying this is bad is my stutter has been getting worse, I dont speak often and if I do instead of saying "whats today's date?" I say "w-what-whats today dates- wait no." AND I just fucking stop there.

I get it. Its my fault but I have been dying to get a diagnosis for either you shy, you have fucking moderate anxiety, or I have speech problems now.

But im working on fixing my stutter, speaking slow(even tho I speak really fast.) AND shit like that. I'll just start reading out loud cuz teachers would wanna read with me(like they do to check with you ability(BLUE GROUP READER FROM 3RD GRADE MIND YOU!!!) ON reading and ive been stuttering a lot. And i dont wanna get dropped down.

Yuh yuh.

[snowstories]

My biggest tip for fanfic writers is this: if you get a character's mannerisms and speech pattern down, you can make them do pretty much whatever you want and it'll feel in character.

Logic: Characters, just like real people, are mallable. There is typically very little that's so truly, heinously out of character that you absolutely cannot make it work under any circumstance. In addition, most fans are also willing to accept characterization stretches if it makes the fic work. Yeah, we all know the villain and the hero wouldn't cuddle for warmth in canon. But if they did do that, how would they do it?

What counts is often not so much 'would the character do this?' and more 'if the character did do this, how would they do it?' If you get 'how' part right, your readers will probably be willing to buy the rest, because it will still feel like their favourite character. But if it doesn't feel like the character anymore, why are they even reading the fic?

Worry less about whether a character would do something, and more about how they'd sound while doing it.

[divinefem333]

ADHD & SPEECH #mentaldisorder #adhders #mentaldisorders #speechproblems ...

[vivatskillednursinghomehealt]

Home health care in Glendale, California, stands as hope for those facing speech-related challenges. Our mission is simple: to transform lives, one word at a time. With a deep understanding of the profound impact communication has on an individual’s quality of life, our dedicated team is committed to providing exceptional speech therapy services that address a variety of needs and goals.

[screambirdscreaming]

Something that peeves me whenever I see another post going around with some variation on "autistic people take things literally which means we are the only people who communicate Clearly and Directly" is that - for any given statement, there is not one singular, agreed on, universal Literal Interpretation. If there was, none of this would be a problem!

The nature of language is that there's always some degree of interpretability. Words have several different meanings, often overlapping, and there's nuance of context, cultural references, and so on.

Faced with a statement, most people will quickly come up with an interpretation that to them makes the most sense. But if you asked a roomful of people to explain in detail their interpretations, everyone's would probably be a little different, even for a pretty simple statement. Regardless of whether those people are autistic! Everyone conceptualizes the world a little differently, and everyone has a unique personal history of all the language they've encountered, and these things effect our interpretations.

In order for communication to be workable, given this slosh in interpretability, there's another couple of processes that go on. As conversation goes on, people reassess if their initial interpretation matches up with additional context. If it doesn't, they revise it, or ask clarifying questions. And on the flipside of this process, the other person in conversation is tracking if your reactions make sense with *their* understanding of what they're trying to convey to you, and offering context or rephrasing things if it seems you're out of alignment.

These processes are social skillsets that are, like most social skillsets, not ever directly articulated or explained. Many people are bad at one or both. Sometimes you encounter someone who is really, notably good at it - the vaunted "good listener", who puts in the effort to really understand what you're trying to say, or that really excellent teacher who engages with you back and forth until you really get it. But a lot of the time, it's a sort of passive social friction - people just not getting each other.

Sometimes, you encounter someone whose brain works so much like yours that talking to them feels almost effortless - you just get each other. But that's a pretty rare occurrence for anyone. More often, as you get to know someone, you start to understand the shape of the way they interpret things and learn to account for it, so over time it's easier to make sense to each other.

It's honestly not uncommon in society for people to aggregate in groups of people who interpret things similarly, and who are thus easier to talk to, rather than actually building the skills of communicating across interpretation gaps. Particularly egregious are those groups of men who talk about Women as an incomprehensible monolith, but it turns up to a greater or lesser degree on a lot of levels.

I suspect this is the root of a lot of parenting problems - people who have never built this communication skillset, and relied on choosing friends who make sense to them without a lot of effort, and who are then totally unprepared to interact with a child who interprets things in ways they don't expect.

Obviously I can't speak to The Universal Typical Experience, not least because it doesn't exist. But in general I would posit that:

Most people, give or take a few assholes, are not trying to say things that are confusing. Most people think they are communicating clearly, because the first interpretation *they* would come up with on hearing one of their own sentences is the correct interpretation.

Many people are not very good at accounting for different ways people could interpret things they're saying. However, it is normal and polite social behavior to be somewhat flexible about this and forgiving of misunderstandings. If people are being shitty to you about not understanding them, they are assholes. And I wouldn't assume that the rest of the communication they have with everyone else they know goes totally smoothly for them.

I suspect there is a bit of an unfortunate feedback loop, where people have bad experiences when someone gets mad at them for not getting something, and learn to hide when they're confused. Which then leads to larger, more complicated misunderstandings, which other different people get upset at them about, because those people think they should have asked for clarification in the first place.

Truly you can't win with everyone. No one can win with everyone. There is no monolith of "neurotypical communication" which resolves all these contradictions - all those people you're lumping in together under "neurotypical" have just as much trouble with each other.

[autisticlee]

that feeling when you get a case manager becasue some of your autism struggles is with phone calls and auditory processing disorder and speaking in general and need someone to be your ears and voice for you, and the main discussion with her is about that,,,,,and then she calls you to set up the next appointment and wants you to call back. oh come on. why 🥲

[demigods-posts]

no but imagine percy who inherited his mom's beachwave brown, shoulder length hair as a kid. and all of his classmates and teachers thinking he's a girl and referring to him as such. and he doesn't correct them because he thinks it means they find him pretty. and he likes feeling pretty like his mom. then gabe makes him cut his hair in the second grade. and finds he likes the short hair and feeling handsome too. but he also really misses feeling pretty sometimes. and it isn't until after gabe mysteriously dissapears that he grows it out again and reconciles switching between both.

[greenbergsays]

"Are his concerns your concerns?"

you mean like when Buck knew Eddie for all of 5 minutes and spent the entire aftermath of the earthquake reassuring him that Chris was safe and sound? or like when, five minutes after that, he learned that Eddie was having trouble navigating child-care options for special needs children and immediately introduced him to Carla?

you mean like that, Josh???

[starcurtain]

I try to keep my really aggro fandom opinions (mostly) to myself, but man, I absolutely cannot stand seeing "Phainon and Cyrene are only data; they couldn't do anything to save Amphoreus other than the cycles and just had to wait for Trailblazer to arrive."

Absolute biggest Star Rail pet peeve right now. 😂

My boy Khaslana did not collect over 400 million coreflames, chug ass-kicking juice, and then turn himself into a cosmic-level physical solar flare to break through all of Irontomb's defenses and then go to punch god in the face for people to be like "He was just data stuck in the system."

My girl Cyrene did not yeet herself so hard out of the flow of fictional time that she gained a real soul after a single digital lifetime and then spend however many Amber Eras bathing in the energy of aeons in the path space while attempting to save multiple real people's lives for fans to be like "She's just data, she couldn't do it."

Some HSR fans have not watched Gurren Lagann, and it shows.

🤔

[sunlight-shunlight]

it's sad that they made varric so... bad at arguing in veilguard, HGDSJGS. bc he nearly won this debate already in inquisition, without even knowing the context!

give this guy 10 years to come up with a speech, and it still might not convince solas or save him from getting killed, but it should at least be less silly than just going "solas, your rebellion was very cringe fail, and it was dumb of you to have sealed the evanuris and stopped the blight the first time. stop doing things 🙄"

[xlillyle]

I’m so sick I’m so ill this is how they feel about their partnership ending after FOUR FUCKING YEARS OF SEPARATION Y’ALL DO YOU SEE THIS IT’S THE SAME FUCKING EXPRESSION THEY’RE SO