#teach you a lesson

[sysmedsaresexist]

When you look up and see your floating aquarium plants stuck in the filter current, having somehow slipped past ALL your tube blocks meant to protect them from that

[aboringredmop]

fanart/redraw for @/frostiwars dhmis fanfic Teach You A Lesson, that I've been hyperfixated on for months. why can't my autism focus on anything useful smh

og art (creds to frostiwars obv) v

[cakezzz]

Ok so maybe I do ship them

Im so weak…

[liones-s]

one of the most boring lessons I’ve learned is that when a task feels overwhelming, you just have to start doing it. Even if you’re not sure how to do 90% of it, look for one small component that seems close and start there. Sometimes it’s reading one article on the topic, or searching one related term, or literally just googling how to do the task. Do anything other than thinking about it. The process of working on a thing inherently makes it less scary.

[devonhale]

actually one of the most beautiful things about hacks is that we can be changed by anyone and at any period in our lives. deborah was in her forties when ava was born. she’d lived a life longer than ava’s before ava even existed yet they both have had a profound effect upon each other. it’s never too late. you haven’t met all of the people who are going to change you yet.

[hypo-critic-art]

Will you Bill my Valentine?

[regicidal-defenestration]

I like the tasks which make it abundantly clear that, for several years, Mathew Baynton worked on a children's educational TV show where "cartoonishly evil teacher" was a stock character

[hamable]

I’m starting to suspect that Porter could intentionally be fucking Gorgug over in an attempt to bring out some rage in him and if that is the case, I can see the conclusion of that endeavor being Gorgug teaching HIM that uncontrolled, unpredictable rage offers little strategically to a party, but someone as emotionally conscientious and leveled out as Gorgug can tap into rage as a tool and that’s what makes him a good barbarian.

I’m thinking we’re approaching an arc about that, with the frost fest coming up at the thistlespring tree next episode and it being revealed that both his adoptive and biological parents will be there- the gnomes that raised him to be kind and emotionally intelligent, and the orcs that passed the barbarian nature down to him. I think Gorgug is going to accept his strengths as a barbarian in control of his anger, who can apply himself outside of his rage and dial into it when it matters. He’ll be better than Porter ever was.

[mocking-the-bird]

late night sketches cause I don't have computer rn

[kittenscookie]

Listen listen!

Odysseus finding a baby Percy, why he alive no one knows maybe Hades doesn’t want to deal with him and he takes one look at the baby realizes Poseidon is a dead beat and said mine

Percy is now badass for being trained by the warrior of the mind and Athena loves him because that means he is her grand baby and she approves of him for annabeth

Ody adopting baby Percy implies that Sally is dead and I can work with that.

Zeus finds out about Percy's existence a whole 11 years earlier and sends a hurricane and monsters to kill him. When the dust settles Sally is dead and Zeus assumes he got the baby too and under normal circumstances he would. But these aren't normal circumstances—these are Odysseus of Ithaca circumstances. Sally and Odysseus had been friends for a couple months at that point (Ody having never found the right time to tell her who he was/used to be if he's been reincarnated) and he could not leave his friend's baby to die.

Now Poseidon knew Percy had survived—he didn't know how but he wasn't about to question a miracle. He didn't question it for a whole 11 years until Percy was right before him giving him the vilest stink eye imaginable. And as he was questioning that specifically he was sucker punched, pinned to the ground and trident ripped out of his hands as he summoned it. Then he saw his attackers face and his ichor ran cold.

Poseidon: You...

Odysseus: Me.

Ody is ripped off him before he can start stabbing. And 3,000-year-old beef is reignited, though they both try to keep it to a minimum for Percy's sake.

[yayll]

~ a little something about Dazai surprising you on your day off ~

Dazai's not by any means an early riser... That is unless he gets to see you that day.

It's 8 AM and he's tapping his fingers against his pant leg lightly, but he's actually really anxious and impatient. He’s waiting for you to open the front door and flash him that life changing smile of yours he’s been coveting for all week. Today’s your day off and he's decided to come over and spend the day with you so he can cherish every single moment, totally not because he’s slacking off work and wants to do the only other thing he does with his life other than avoid his responsibilities: Be the bane of your existence. You also have a nasty little habit of being a workaholic and he's here to break that once and for all. He's completely spaced out now, lips pursed and brows slightly furrowed in thought when suddenly—

You finally open the door. His angel, his everything. He immediately switches his whole demeanor, eyes twinkling as he scans your figure. You’re still in pajamas, and your hair looks messy. You look absolutely delectable for someone who just woke up to 3 missed calls and 10 texts. Dazai smirks as he leans in, wiggling his brows in an exaggerated manner.

"Well look who’s finally awake! What a sleepy little thing you are. Makes me jealous of that stupid bed of yours… Did you get my texts? Come here."

He looms over you in the middle of the doorway, kissing you softly, tenderly and hungrily.

You blink, and before you can catch your bearings you’re interrupted by the softness of his eager lips. If your mouth opens, he’s pouncing. After a few moments of uninterrupted bliss, you pull back, eyes still drowsy and breathing a bit shallow. You yawn, running your fingers through your bedhead.

“Sorry. I, um… was still asleep until now. I was trying to sleep in-”

He gasps, and tilts his head, as if baffled by this.

“Now why would you do that when we have plans today?”

“... We don’t, though?”

Dazai laughs, dismissing your rightful confusion. He knows you guys never discussed plans, he just doesn't care. He lightly pinches your nose in between his fingers.

“We do! It’s why I let you sleep in for a few extra hours before coming over.”

You lazily swat at him, crinkling your nose. He’s swooning! Dazai feels a jolt of electricity through his body upon seeing the way you respond to his doting. Making you flustered is his favorite entertainment, besides suicide of course.

“But it’s 8 AM.”

“Exactly! That’s like half the day."

"... How long have you been up for?”

He rolls his eyes affectionately as he buffs his knuckles on his tan coat, replying with a nonchalant hum.

“Hmm, not important— What’s for breakfast?”

He lets himself into your apartment and you sigh into a defeated smile that somehow still holds affection for this ridiculous man. You follow him as he strides to the kitchen and fold your arms across your chest.

“You know, I’m kinda grumpy right now. It’s too early, Osamu. I need my sleep."

“And might I say you look absolutely stunning when you’re grumpy? How ever did I get this lucky…”

“Keep it up and I’ll get even worse, you goofball.”

Dazai smiles, it’s sly and dangerous. A challenge, he hears? He pretends to think for a moment, his finger placed on his lips as if really contemplating something. He’s just picturing what you’d look like yelling at him. Heavenly, of course. He flashes you a tender smile as if you just said the most romantic thing and curls his arm around your waist, whispering.

“Ooh, then I can’t wait to see worse.~”

You roll your eyes, unable to help the pink hue spreading over your face. Maybe you're still half asleep, maybe you’re just hopelessly in love with him. Either way you’re screwed. You whine with a hint of annoyance.

“Osamuuuu…”

Oh how he loves when you say his name like that. Maybe it’s time for you two to skip breakfast, he already does anyway, but he knows you actually need nutrients to function. He replies in a singsong voice.

“Yeeesss?”

“I’m making pancakes and you are going to sit down and wait.”

You point at the kitchen counter trying to be stern, and of course, failing miserably.

He looks back at the stool and then back at you. He leans within inches of your face, his nose poking yours. He clicks his tongue disapprovingly and winks.

“No can do, cutie~”

You two spend the morning making breakfast, or at least trying to. YOU are trying to, anyway. Everytime you go to gather ingredients, he’s already handing them to you. When your back is turned to him, you feel his arms snaking around you as you flip pancakes unevenly due to the distracting trail of kisses he's leaving down your neck. You secretly smile to yourself whenever you’re not feigning irritation, you know he loves the banter… Why not indulge the poor man?

You serve two plates and sit down, along with two mugs of coffee. Dazai isn’t allowed to have caffeine around you, but once again, you took pity on him today for some reason… or is it his mystifying persuasion manipulation at play here? He takes a sip of his mug and a satisfying ‘Ahh’ releases soon after. He flickers his eyes towards you as you're about to sip yours as well, and it’s like the world stops. His pupils dilate and he watches intently as the rim reaches your lips, resting his chin on his palm as he leans lazily over the counter. He’s like a dog watching its owner adoringly. During his trance-like state, he thinks about how if you lived together this would be his every day routine. He could get used to watching you drink coffee and eat food. You'd wake up next to each other and hold hands as you watch the sun rise. He would tell you how breathtaking you look with bedhead and make you late for work after failing to keep his hands to himself. Maybe then you wouldn't think he's such an impenetrable wall of secrets. He wonders if there's a future where all of that happens... He snaps out of it, and murmurs.

“Can I have a taste?”

You perk up and look over, tilting your head to the side, amused.

“What, the coffee? You have your own.”

He’s so focused now, staring at your full lips, thinking of a proper answer. He wants to tell you that he's never had intimate moments like these with anyone else and he doesn’t know how long it’ll last before his luck with you runs out, that he’s afraid you’ll see right through his one dimensional facade and leave him for good. That you won’t follow him to his untimely demise should he ever fall, so he has to capture every second of it so he can keep you in his mind forever. He has to lock you up in his heart and throw away the key, otherwise becoming a man of virtue loses all its meaning.

Instead, he opts for the less complicated route, the corners of his lips curling up into a coy smile as he places a gentle hand on your thigh.

“No, your lips, dummy. I want to taste the coffee off of your lips.”

There are no words for the audacity of Osamu Dazai and the feelings thrashing inside you when he says things like that. You smile bashfully and look away, unable to accept his shameless flirting.

“You’re so weird, Osamu…”

“Mm, I'm so yours. No takesies backsies.~"

You slowly meet his gaze, his watchful eyes that ooze devotion practically holding yours hostage… God, you are so beautiful to him. Before you can even register it, Dazai scoops you up bridal style and carries you to the living room, laying you down on the soft couch. His eyes darken as he looks down at you, his fingers tracing the outline of your lips. As soon as you show him the look of love that gives him the consent he’s looking for, he doesn’t think twice about it. He grabs your chin and pulls you into a messy kiss. He kisses you rough, his tongue almost immediately sliding into your mouth as he moans into you. His moans turn into whimpers, like he's been starved of touch for far too long and you're satiating the hunger. He needs to taste the coffee you just drank, and he wants you to know exactly how much he's been aching for this moment. For your much needed day off. For you.

He keeps his hand at your chin, pressing you down deeper into the couch with his hips grinding against yours as he tastes the acidity of the coffee along with the honey you sweetened it with.

Finally, when you literally cannot breathe, you pull away with your dazed and blissed out expression, all red in the face just like he loves. You mumble in between pants.

“Wait— So... What exactly was the plan for today?”

He looks up from running his tongue along your jawline and flashes you that infamously deceptive smile he perpetually keeps on his face, tapping his index finger on your cheek. His voice comes out in a breathy whisper.

“Breakfast.”

“.. But we already had breakfast.”

He sighs deeply and his finger ghosts its way from your cheek down to the waistband of your pajama bottoms as he needily mumbles in your ear.

“Still hungry.. I’m a growing boy, you know.~”

You let out a breathless laugh, shaking your head.

"You're going to tire me, Osamu.. Work wears me out enough as is-"

He wiggles a finger at you, face full of sickening desire as he carefully lowers his head down by your stomach, resting his cheek on your soft flesh. He murmurs in that soft pleading way that drives you insane when he combos it with his reverent touch.

"Listen to me, please. No more work talk... No more stressing out your pretty self, okay? I haaaaate demanding jobs. It only takes you away from me."

You look down and simply nod, your eyes trained on the way he looks at you from under his lashes and the soft brown hair that frames his face. Your heart races with anticipation as a smile slowly creeps up onto your lips. You don't need words for what comes next.

For the rest of the day, he makes sure you have the best time off, it's the least he can do as your incredibly attentive and not selfish at all boyfriend! A day where you can shut out all thoughts of work... along with literally anything else that doesn't relate to him.

Unfortunately for you, there is no resting involved on said day. Fortunately for Dazai, you look so cute as you writhe under him for hours on end. That'll get it through your pretty little skull not to work so much.

[thatgaywizardoverthere]

Arthur keeping tabs on Merlin day 1 so they can “accidentally” run into each other at the market

[freenos]

I like to think about Melinoe "haunting" the house of Hades. Especially from Chronos’ perspective since she’s kind of a mystery to him. She’s all that’s left of her underworld family and no matter how hard Chronos tries to kill or capture her she keeps disappearing and reappearing again. She’s like an angry spirit terrorizing the new resident of her old house. She hates what he’s done with the place. She hates how he treats the dog. She takes every opportunity to criticize and inconvenience him. Sometimes at the start of a run she'll say "unfinished business here." etc etc...

I especially like thinking about it this way because it means (in early access) her journey through the underworld starts and ends with a haunting. Dora haunts her tent, her starting point. But it’s a lighthearted haunting, they're really just roommates and Melinoe is happy to have her company. But at the end of her journey, she takes on the role of a malevolent spirit and Chronos is the "hauntee".

[pharawee]

▷ PIT BABE THE SERIES 2 · Episode 1

[hillbillyhubby]

The thing I like the best about our Domestic Discipline relationship is that it’s not going to stop. There is no stopping now. I expressed my needs, trying to explain my reasoning. @strict-consistent-wifey agreed that if strict discipline was what I needed, she would absolutely provide it. Discipline is in her hands now, and she gets to make that call. If I do not feel like continuing to be chastised and punished… I am simply going to have to behave.

HH!

…doesn’t work that way, sweetheart…

original caption by this time i want you to

[desperatecheesecubes]

James, in actual physical pain all the time: Dad is love supposed to hurt?

Will, actually insane over his wife and also his Parabatai: oh yes. Dreadfully. ❤️❤️😊 it’s great