#tw trauma invalidation

[lethroe]

Due to recent posts on r/sc I want to make a very open statement

Tw: SA, CSA, invalidation of trauma, and in system SA

In system sexual assault happens and is typically the product of repressed trauma and replaying the trauma for some reason or another. Outside of this, I'm not an expert but theres no way its fucking real. Its happened to us in two ways. The first way was through the body, partial possession of the arm and the other was inner. I could physically feel it in my body. Maybe its some type of pathological tactile hallucination but that doesn't matter because

In the end, it still causes trauma. If it walks like a duck, smells like a duck, acts like a duck then its probably a fucking duck.

Now before someone says that im making fun of real sexual abuse victims, Id like to offer for you to shut the fuck up. I was sexually abused by a partner for 4 years and then I was violently assaulted by a stranger at 11 years old. I know what sexual trauma is and is like. I know what it feels like to have my autonomy stolen. I felt the exact same when I was sexually abused by an alter. Its possible and its real and its fucking valid.

I cant fucking stand this shit. You wanna know why? Because imagine carrying the assaulter with you everywhere you go. You dont get to rest, breath, exist without knowing it could happen again but now its actually realistic. It can happen anywhere and everywhere you go. You wanna argue its self harm? Is self harm involuntary? Is self harm something you fear like a predator stalking you? Just because you dont fucking get it, doesn't mean that its making fun of sexual abuse. Hey, let me ask this. If i have a dream of someone violently sexually assaulting me and now have the same level of trauma that a sexual abuse victims has, what's the fucking difference?

Mf piss me off. Its just ableism. Its just "your trauma isnt as bad as mine" and "your trauma isn't real". Which one is doing the trauma Olympics again? Because it sure isnt the people who just want to be taken seriously.

[pr0-dollie]

Cw: talk of trauma + trauma dysphoria + kinda long lol

I did not feel comfortable reblogging this person at all.

- Melody[host]

[Start of screenshot]

[End of screenshot]

︶ִֶָ⏝︶ִֶָ⏝˖ ࣪ ୨ ♰ ୧ ࣪ ˖⏝ִֶָ︶⏝ִֶָ︶

[This is more tri-harmed thing at first but I do bring up, full trans-harmed things like no trauma at all.

︶ִֶָ⏝︶ִֶָ⏝˖ ࣪ ୨ ♰ ୧ ࣪ ˖⏝ִֶָ︶⏝ִֶָ︶

Also these feelings I'm talking about is for me and not for everyone]

I actually want to feel this /srs /gen

I'm already traumatized but it isn't enough? People always and will forever undermine my [cis]trauma, and my [cis]trauma is already unseen or not as important and I've internalized this for so long that words of reassurment doesn't help.

My dysphoria gets to me so bad and if this is the only way to be valid is to live ashamed, uncomfortable, emotionally unstable and with nightmares I would do it, no questions asked, the only way I can be valid if I go through my trans-trauma.

But also identifying as my trans-trauma is kinda euphoric because if not all then most trans things are valid.

Also, not all people's trauma responses is like this, that's stereotypical responses[not saying if you have stereotypical responses you're invalid, you are completely valid <3], there a different responses to trauma.

Also I would feel special if I did go through my trans-trauma.

And then people with absolute NO trauma, maybe not all but I know some of them just want trauma because it's the only way for them to be seen or heard because people make trauma a competition and badges.

So if you actually feel that strongly about this, then let's go to the root issue and stop the glamorization of trauma, stop saying one trauma is worse then the other, stop making people feel special for their trauma, stop blaming people for feeling like they need more trauma as a result of trauma and then already invalid feeling people seeing other people get seen and heard while their unseen especially if they dont have a 'normal/big trauma/'everyone has it''/mainstream trauma, make ALL trauma seen, stop it all <3

But you won't. and you'll continue blaming it on rq's and transx's even though most of the time their trying to cope from society's doings.

And since you and most people won't try to stop or spread awareness to the main root of this all + it's already too far in how society and people see trauma/not normalized/not seen trauma for it to be reversed, transharmed people will always and will continue to use these labels to cope, for fun, and ect.

And you'll continue blaming them when it's not their faults.

- Melody [host]

[Also reminder not all transharmed's feel this wayz this is just my take on it]

︶ִֶָ⏝︶ִֶָ⏝˖ ࣪ ୨ ♰ ୧ ࣪ ˖⏝ִֶָ︶⏝ִֶָ︶

[Off topic/short talk about my tri-harmed-ness]

Also I might just refer all my cis-harmed ids as trans-harmed ids, idk why but it makes me feel better, when I don't refer it as my cis-trauma, makes me feel normal or something, like I said before I have contradictory feeling and in contradictory to myself lol (-ω-｡).

︶ִֶָ⏝︶ִֶָ⏝˖ ࣪ ୨ ♰ ୧ ࣪ ˖⏝ִֶָ︶⏝ִֶָ︶

[auschizm]

I was put on a pretty high dose of anti psychotics as a young teen (high enough to make anyone who takes it who hasn't developed some sort of tolerance to literally pass out within an hour and sleep for like, the next 12-24 hours), I wasnt diagnosed w any schizospec disorder (they just "suspected" schizophrenia on my file) because the clinic I was institutionalized in basically passed out anti psychotics like candy. At times like 70% of the ward was on them, but usually just 1 or 2 kids with an actual schizospec diagnosis. They just loved sedating us tbh.

Over the next like 8 years I kept going on and off anti psychotics, mostly the same one but mixing it up towards the end as well. What I found the worst (sort of, with some hyperbole. if you dont consider lasting neurological issues and some other wild dogshit it caused in my life over those years) is how uneducated every single psych I had was about the anti psychotics that they were Actively Prescribing People.

They didnt know common side effects including tardive dyskenesia, which I have to this day. I had to argue with them so theyd look up literature on it so they'd even believe my experience. They always were suspicious of me wanting to change my dose. They would make me switch meds without tapering the old one (?!), most of them never ordered the tests necessary to monitor your physical health while on anti psychotics (I forgot the names of the tests right now, oops)... often refusing to monitor me as i taper off of them because they didnt "agree" with it, finally one time my GP said he would monitor it. etcetc.

I dont really like... have a point to this. I just wanted to get this out for now.

I'm not even saying they dont help during phases of acute delusion (tho they never actually touch my 'long term' ones lol).. it's just that. At least here no psych seems to know what the fuck they're prescribing people anyways, so how the fuck am I supposed to trust them or work with them at all? I just gave up and have been unmedicated for a year now after tapering them myself as usual. I honestly dont miss it much at all.

I'm really angry you had to experience this. That the doctors who were supposed to help you did this instead. I can relate, and I'm sending my love and solidarity ❤️

[lifeafterpsychiatry]

So I had a discussion with my dad a couple days ago about how some of my behaviors reflect symptoms of complex PTSD. For context, my dad has been extremely verbally abusive to me basically until COVID when my mom was home all the time and he couldn’t yell at me without her telling him to cut that shit out. He still loses his cool sometimes, either directed at me, my brother, or my mom. My mom had an incredibly traumatic (in many ways but primarily physically) childhood. She does not do this.

I hypothesized that I must have inherited these C-PTSD adjacent behaviors from my mom because I haven’t experienced trauma. I said this in part to gauge whether my dad would recognize that I have been through traumatic things — not even necessarily because of him, some of it is from being severely bullied and ostracized at school because I’m autistic. He agreed with my lie that I hadn’t ever experienced anything traumatic, and then started to complain about my mom being “overprotective” of me as a child. At some point I managed to bring up that I had gone through a lot of stuff in my childhood that’s scarred me for life, and he pretty much went “well yeah but you weren’t physically abused so you haven’t experienced trauma.” Which…no. Not how that works.

I moved on from that but my dad kept saying “this is such a productive conversation why don’t I have these kinds of conversations with you more often.” He at one point said something that made me tell him, “I’m not qualified to talk about this, you need a therapist or someone with a degree in psychology.” This made him go “nooooo why are you making this conversation go sideways why are you making this difficult we were having a PRODUCTIVE conversation why would you ruin it like this :(((( I can’t talk to you about anything”, which is not an uncommon response for him to have but just very annoying.

The worst part, though, and what I primarily wanted to tell you about, was when I confronted him about him, during a fight in January, yelling at my mom that she was just like her abuser. I’d asked my mom if she was okay with him saying that and she told me “oh he says that a lot but when he does he’s always drunk so I don’t let it get to me.” My dad justified his actions by informing me that, quote, “your mom was actually being really mean to me when I said that.” I couldn’t tell if he was joking or being serious and something about that made me so sad I started to cry. He didn’t respond well to that. Previously he’d complained about my mom “freaking out whenever I raise my voice at her,” which, yeah! She was verbally abused as a child! I told my mom about this later and she was like “well he says things like that sometimes, try not to pay attention to them.” I had talked with my mom’s best friend about incidents like this previously and she’d mentioned that my mom has a really high tolerance for emotional abuse and basically any kind of abuse that isn’t physical.

And I just think that’s so sad. I wish my dad would not be…like that. He’s a walking collection of red flags and I want better for my mom. I can’t put my feelings about this shit into words other than “it’s sad.” Because it is sad and I think my dad really has to do some self reflection but I’m not helping with that shit. He has to work through his issues by himself because I am not a licensed therapist. I’m literally a teenager. I shouldn’t have to be dealing with this stuff and it’s frustrating to be around my father most of the time. I think it’s very sad for him too because he’s fucked up his relationship with me specifically so so so bad. Your kid should feel safe around you, but I can’t feel safe around my dad. And that’s just sad.

Anyway sorry I had to tell someone about the “she was actually being really mean to me before I screamed at her and compared her to her abuser” comment because what the fuck. That’s a wild ass thing to say right? Like, there’s no justifying that. The justification made it so much worse imo.

His behavior towards you and your mom is unacceptable and unfair, and I'm sorry you've had to grow up in such an environment. That being said, attempting to have a constructive conversation about abuse and trauma with a long term abuser is rarely particularly productive, and you might get further by avoiding direct confrontations with him when that's possible than by actively trying to confront him with his abuse. At least until you can get out of there ❤️

[starryvomit]

“invalidated”

-S

[productofaritual]

Me when my trauma actually negatively impacts my life and isn't just a silly little experience I can dump on people for shock value

[goblins-and-gloves]

Breaking news: person who planted one of your core beliefs about yourself in your head genuinely doesn’t remember doing that and agrees it sounds like a super weird thing to say to someone (are you sure they did that? Huh, weird.)

[takami-takami]

On the topic of whether the coping is "healthy":

Gently I say this. It's not your place to intrude on another person's personal situation like that. Please do not do that.

You are fundamentally approaching this conversation on the presumption that trauma responses are voluntary. And don't say "but what you do with it is voluntary—" again, not your place to pop into a stranger's room and give them philosophical advice.

"Go to therapy instead then maybe you'll be a Good abuse survivor like me and fix that stupid icky brain of yours!" You are being an asshole right now. Don't do that. Also therapists would disagree with you.

[radinclus-not-radqueer]

The use of the word cult in reference to *checks notes* a bunch of people on Tumblr who also happen to be assholes is a blatant punch in the face to, ya know, real cult survivors.

I want you to look up real cult survivor stories. I want you to learn what being in a cult is actually like.

People lose family members to cults. People lose their lives to cults. People have lifelong trauma from cults. People have their lives controlled in cults. They are forced to do unimaginable things.

I know people impacted by real cults. It's not just your word to throw around and make "recovery" seem like hanging out on Tumblr. Recovery is therapy, medication, a support system.

I've never seen anyone on here explain in depth how radqueers are cult. All I see is "I think these people are jerks so let's call them a cult".

[- a survivor whose sick of this bullshit]

I explained how radqueers are a cult in a separate post. I hope I included enough detail and information!

Also, please keep in mind that the majority of people on Tumblr are not sharing every bit of their private lives on here, nor are you entitled to that information. Most of us are in therapy and receiving help, we just don't post about it much because it's personal.

I am a cult survivor, completely outside of any radqueer discourse. I was in a cult starting from when I was a toddler up until I was a teenager. I am permanently traumatized by everything I went through. Don't assume someone is a privileged little sunshine child just because you disagree with them.

[notblue-bandit]

tw childhood trauma

did anyone else with bpd ever get the "you have to stop lying to your friends and telling them that you're $Hing / attempting / suicidal / getting drunk" talk as a kid (multiple times) only for your parents to find out years later that you weren't lying and now have a self harm addiction and diagnosed alcoholism— and tolerance to the pain medication you kept trying to OD on— because they never took you seriously and told your child therapist that you were lying so you never got help orrr? was that just me

( yes i started drinking when i was 14 :•|| [<-- sad clown face] )

[auschizm]

small rant / vent

i wish i felt comfortable saying we (likely) have schizophrenia. we already suspect multiple disorders (several PDs and a few “miscellaneous” mh disorders) so i feel like if we add schizophrenia to the “yeah we probably have this” list we’re faking everything because nobody could possible ever have that many mental illnesses ever (sarcasm)

we have so much trauma that the first 13 years of our life are blank whenever we try to manually recall it, and the next 5 years are foggy because of general memory issues and Covid

so i wouldn’t be surprised if we do have all these disorders, but whenever i bring it up to a psych they sorta scoff and look at me like i’m just exaggerating

it sucks

Having various mental health issues at once is not uncommon, and even if ableist "professionals" imply otherwise, it is not inherently a sign of you faking/exaggerating or misunderstanding your symptoms

[rantz-for-st0ry]

me when life is bad but it cant be as bad as December 2023 when my boyfriend of a year and a half at the time cheated on, me threatened to murder me and multiple ppl I knew in gorey detail, and then i dumped him. and then later, in the same month, right after one of the worst christmases of my life, the person i trusted most with my body and had like silently fallen in love with like a year and a half ish prior sexually assaulted me and i proceeded to have a like 7-month long fall out with that person. and it was legitimately the most depressed and suicidal I have EVER been and I literally wanted nothing more than to die. oh and among this my comfort artist was outed as an abuser and I couldn't lean on his music AT ALL during this time, which his possibiliy the most mild of this but it made it a hell of a lot worse.

tldr yeah my grandfather just died, but my life could be and has been worse!! I guess!!

[shdwlghts]

The attitude that if it's not physical abuse it's not that bad blows my mind. Abuse is abuse period. It leaves you with trauma whether or not you have physical scars from it. This shit colors everything even years later. So don't tell me what I and others went through wasn't that bad.

[takami-takami]

Hi magpie I will not be posting those bc the trauma inval is pretty heavy (not you, of course, your ex-mutual) but I will say this level of behavior is fucking insane. To call her "Mel" too like she knows the freak is like.

Good on you for standing up because that interaction exhausted me even by proxy. Like that was so gross of them that the rancid aura transcended space to my location and time from whenever the fuck they decided to say shit like that.

I'm past throwing tomatoes at your ex mut. I am throwing rocks.

[chichiricatsan]

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A post shared by Aspen Robinson ✨Empath & Trauma Coach (@augustknoxcoaching)

[auschizm]

Vent, confronted my father with all the evidence that forced treatment is bad paired with my own life experience of the trauma afterwards and he responded with “I’m sorry you didn’t get the treatment you deserved, but I won’t apologize for trying to get you the help you needed.” Felt so fucking backhanded. I told him I will be limiting contact with him in the future. I might need him to get loans for my university for me though so I’m financially bound to him if nothing else. I wish it was easier to escape

Yeah while I get that many people who force psychiatric treatment on others do it with the intention of "helping" them, this doesn't mean that they get to invalidate the actual harm and trauma associated with having treatment forced on you. I'm really sorry about this situation!