#type: textpost

[monikatouhou]

"nobody is judging you" wrong, my mother is seemingly always judging every single stranger she sees

[moldsporr]

>Be me

>Make bowl of panda express leftovers

>Chow down on 2/3rds of it before father calls you over to show you memes

>Leave bowl unattended

>Laugh about memes for a good ten minutes

>Return to room

>??Bat? In bowl? ?

>Don't have anything to grab bat with that are bite proof

>Offer bat the head of the Winston Churchill marble bust to climb onto

>Bat does so

>Slowly carry Churchill and the bat to the window

>Bat won't let go of Churchill

>Pry bat off of him with nearby plastic skeleton hand

>Bat sits on windowsill for a second before flying off into the night

[cyberpunkboytoy]

So there's the idea of "kitchen table poly," AKA "everyone in the polycule needs to be able to sit at a kitchen table together and get along like friends."

One of my roommates just came up with a counter idea, which is "poker table poly." Everyone in the polycule must be enemies. No one is allowed to get too chummy or they're kicked out. They all also likely owe eachother money.

[breadwithpoprocks-fandom]

replies;

@ruixrose : Can’t decide if Jason is disturbed by this or is just like ‘big deal we all have problems’.

@gods-graveyard (replying to prev): He would say "Big deal" but is internally screaming

@thevoidstaredback (replying to prev) : Outwardly: "Big deal. What did you do to my Wonder Woman mug!" *pissed off big brother noises* Inwardly: "What the fuck? What the fuck!?" *concerned big brother noises*

----------------------------

@lilykep : Tim just confessing other equally true but increasingly bizarre things. "I once saved the universe by playing baseball with my friends"

@losingmybrain : Jason: *distressed bird noises*

@lilsilhouetteo : I feel like he would pause for a moment like that wasn’t what I was expecting but uh sure

comments;

@justapersonwithaname :

Tim: and his sister try to rape me

Jason: *Pulling out a gun* excuse me WHAT!?

Tim: don't worry, Cass saved me

----------------------------

@juju092118 :

Jason: uhh okay bed time for you timmers we can talk in the morning when you aren’t swaying…. Just a quick question though. Do you still have Your spleen in your body where it is Supposed to be??

Tim: Ra’s. Pickled. Spleen. Stop spinning!

----------------------------

@addictedapple :

Tim: And then I did so much mass murder when I blew up all the League bases.

Tim: I’m going to be sent to 70s Disco Hell.

Jason, mouthing: ‘70s Disco Hell’??

Tim: Santa died.

Tim: Next time I have to play baseball to save the world, can you be on my team?

Jason: Let’s get you to bed…

@yjcorefourenjoyer :

🪩✨💃DISCO HELL!🕺✨🪩

@f4nd0m-fun (replying to prev) : ... we need a clone of Dick in Disco Hell enjoying himself, or maybe Dick himself, it's his Saturday relaxation 😂

@conundrumrespeculis (replying to prev prev) :

And then they all got possessed by demons

#it was also a crossover with supergirl#I still don't know what was up with supergirl in that arc

----------------------------

@canthandlethishit : tim would’ve start rattling confessions so fast jason gotta shorthand note it 😭

@jackie-q : Jason: *calls emergency family meeting*

@sexyt-a-r-d-i-s11 : Jason: *plotting murder, murder on Ra's al Ghul*

@blackfoxsposts :

Jason: and?

Tim: I helped kill Santa

@bibliophilicbi :

Jason: I don’t give a shit (he does). Why did you break my wonder woman mug??

Tim, in tears: WONDER WOMAN GOT MUGGED???

@knaveofspades :

Jason, completely blindsided: ...what.

Tim, still high as balls: Its in a jar in... Turkey, probably.

@runningoncoffeandspite :

it continues to get worse,

jason: what.

tim: tbh he probably keeps it i a jar and talks to it

jason, now mildy concerned: ????

tim just passes out then and there with a two finger salute: 🤷‍♂️

@lialeeederian : Honestly bro there's so much he could tell you before wonder woman mug break even RANKS

@willow-scorp :

Jason: NO! MY MUG TIM. WHY. DID. YOU. BREAK. MY. MUG.

Tim: WHY ARE YOU MUGGING ME??

Jason: ....ya know what forget it. Just give me forty bucks.

Tim, High as a kite but is still a younger sibling: *hands Jason monopoly money*

tags;

@brucewaynehater101 : #omfg i forgot “pickled” meant turning into pickles#I thought the word was a fucked up combination of the words “plucked” “picked up” and “tickled”#i was very appropriately horrified of ra's tickling tim's spleen in front of him as an “intimidation technique”#everyone stared at the rotting corpse as his dry boney hands squirmed on top of jarred spleen#this is why tim has LoA peeps deflecting to him#anyways it was the image of ra's sticking his hand in spleen jars that reminded me of pickles and what the word “pickled” meant

@derp-a-la-sheep (replying to prev) : The image of a disgusted and disappointed Tim sighing at the sight of Ra’s tickling his spleen is so strong. Tim is not impressed and walks right back out with a trail of assassins after him begging for him to take them with him.

#assassins have dignity#no assassin worth their salt wants to work for a man who tickles spleens to be intimidating

@brucewaynehater101 (responding to prev) : #ra's was a little disappointed to find out the organ wasn't ticklish :(

----------------------------

@sentariana : #jason suddenly on the war path ready to REMOVE ra's al ghul from this existence#tim turning to dick hoping he'll calm him down but dick becomes equally incensed when the sitch is explained to him#damian is giving jason ideas#they're all ready to go even as tim tells them it's fine and to let it go when bruce comes in#bruce finds out and without a word takes the batplane and is gone for a few days then comes back and says ra's is no longer a problem

----------------------------

@fioregocce : #spleenless!tim#literally destined to eventually become a genocidal dictator

@4seijoh : #none of them should be surprised anymore

@oncillabrigade : #actual tears reading this#justice for timmy drake's stolen spleen

@tardisoftheshire : #high off gotham harbor fumes?!?!?!!#best thing i’ve ever seen about gotham’s shitty chemicals hahahahahahha

@egrettacaerulea : #got you blindsided huh jay lmao

@explosivetrash : #jason: like recently?#tim: nah it was before I was engaged#*jason pulls up a chair*#he has no mug for this tea

@toomanybs : #they come back from every patrol near the docks high as heck#just loopy little bois#jason leaves to go to the docks himself after that revelation#comes back and offers to rescue tim's pickled spleen#calls up talia like “yo your ladyship what would your daddio do with jarred organs”#“...[address]. Never say any of that near me or my son ever again.”#“gotcha. thanks a million.” [click]

@robomancing-reblogs : #Least bizarre thing he could admit tbh.

@raeuberprinzessin : #tim drake is casually traumatizing his family by confessing the wildest stuff#jason “i died that one time and got better” todd suddenly feels very normal by comparison

@babetriz : #'AH HA I KNEW- wait hang on what the fuck'

@darkmodepls : #Jason has no idea he's being serious#He thinks Tim is hallucinating

@rjnonymous : #then Tim collapses right in the middle of the cave#Jason freaks out

@msfcatlover : #Jason: ‘’…See this is why I don’t hang out with you people.’’

Jason, to himself: If I can catch Tim off guard when he comes back from patrol he'll confess about breaking my favourite Wonder Woman's mug

Jason, as Tim wanders in: Got anything to confess??

Tim, very very high off Gotham Harbor fumes: Ra's pickled my spleen.

[gabrielora]

When I was younger and researching the autism diagnosis criteria and symptoms, I thought “oh I couldn’t POSSIBLY be autistic.” Because when I read “takes everything literally” I thought it literally meant EVERYTHING and I was like “I don’t take EVERYTHING literally, just most things!” And I just realized the other day that it didn’t actually mean EVERYTHING and that was an overstatement.

[castroxche]

usamericans looooove race science. it's their favourite thing. from identifying themselves using 19th century race science terms to racially profiling and blood quantuming latinos, it truly is one of their favourite activities right next to eating hamburger

[chaotic-neutral-knitter]

I do love the phrase executive dysfunction bc the image it conjures is of a bunch of people wearing business suits around a long oval conference table  arguing with each other to the point where they’re getting into physical fights, but in the background there’s just a big empty whiteboard with a To Do list with one item on it and that item is “take shower”

[breadwithpoprocks-fandom]

additions;

@arrowheadedbitch : Guys, stop with the DARE Tim versus stoner Tim discourse, obviously both are true and he's a lying hypocrite!

@ditzybat (replying to prev):

tim hosting a DARE assembly at school: i will avoid peer pressure and drugs and try my best to prevent others from ruining my happiness. i am and will continue to be drug-free.

bernard: i saw you hit a blinker in the bathroom before this.

tim: shhhhh, bear i'll let you hit my cart if you keep your trap shut…

@thebiballerina (also replying to prev) :

That is not even "lying hypocrite" territory; that is just the average effectiveness of the DARE program.

(Are people unironically using "DARE" as an antonym for stoner? I don't have any stake in this particular debate, but I have to ask, because your DARE Robin could do drugs gleefully and I wouldn't even register that as odd. I'd find it weirder if he was regularly drinking alcohol.)

Also, the other things DARE addressed besides (illicit) substance use were gang membership, violent behavior, and other "associated" petty crimes among teens. Maybe you've already failed DARE if your main extracurricular is partaking in an underground operation that engages in extralegal violence in response to your city's problems. Just saying.

----------------------------

@captainfinnsboat :

Tim, talking to Damien and Jon: Don’t do drugs, kids!

Jason: You ate four edibles last night and vomited on my couch.

@thesecretdcblog : Tim: Do as I say and not as I do

#stoner tim drake#i don't think he smokes though#he likes his lungs functioning the way they should#he's strictly an edibles guy#especially after losing his spleen

replies;

@bianca-hooks123 : Boy probably has chronic pain, of course he’s self medicating

----------------------------

@homelybiscuit : I'm conflicted because stoner tim is funny but I read a fic where he ate one of Jason's pot brownies or something and he was literally allergic and he had the unholy combination of allergy and weed anxiety. And he had to drive him to the emergency room and Bruce had to bail them out because the workers were like. This kid is underage and on drugs who gave him it

[fic: Stoned (and Supported?) by emmacortana on Ao3]

@rosieandthethorns (replying to prev) : fun fact unless they called the cops themselves they wouldn't have to pay bail because of patient confidentiality with HIPPA. In fact, lots of EMTs get extremely protective of their patients, especially at things like raves, concerts, etc. "I'm not a cop" is something they mean literally, they need to know those things to help you and if you'll get in trouble you wouldn't tell them, so now they're not allowed to snitch

tags;

@ditzybat (op) : #he has a blunt in his utility belt he plans to share with spoiler later#and a cart#and perhaps a guava ice lost mary that he hits whenever bruce isnt looking - its like a game#stoner tim drake my beloved

----------------------------

@nicomoon69 : #I just know that man has a bong he hits before going to bed every night#that man needs his weed

@kennimu : #people can try and tear stoner Tim out of my cold dead clammy hands#its objectively one of the funniest Tim headcanons#especially with his 'i will never do drugs' speedh

@oncillabrigade : #poor Jim doesn't get paid enough for this#b come get your self-medicating kid

@redlightofdawn : #tim is such a stoner he figures a way to get bart kon and cassie high#core four more like core four twenty

@ughjay : #i’m a stoner tim truther#he just looks like he’d smoke#but he also looks like he gets scammed#like 30$ for a g?#yes ofc he’ll pay that good sir#pleasure doing business

@chickadee394 : #i firmly believe tim and steph both smoke#and because he has no idea how much things should cost she overcharges the hell out of him

@url-is-url : #there's also a third option that tim is purely stirring the pot

@jesterraconteuse : #me being terrified of drugs but openly saying I'm doing amphetamines and codeine (prescribed ADHD and pain meds respectively)#tim definitely has chronic pain and you'd be hard pressed a good dispensery for CBD oil in Gotham#DARE Weed Tim can be real

tim: sweet dog you got there. gordon: yes, this is our new drug-sniffing dog. tim: still training huh? gordon: red robin.. what do you mean? tim: ... tim: nevermind...

[teathattast]

i would match your freak in every lifetime

[monikatouhou]

the gender my parents know about and my much cooler gender my online friends know about

[crypticpuffin]

GAY TEST: put some of your blood into this petri dish and I'll expose it to a hot needle. I lied this has nothing to do with your sexuality I'm trying to find out if you're the Thing

[cryoriku]

x this was so wholesome i had to immortalize it

[blaithnne]

I cannot stop thinking about Episode 5 of TADC because Ragatha is, however unintentionally, one of the best examples of how isolating and difficult it is to interact with the world as an autistic person I have ever seen. To the point it genuinely makes me sad to think about her. I need to make a post expanding on this at some point but rn just. The way everyone assumes there’s some sinister hidden meaning to everything she does and says but she’s literally just trying to be nice and she doesn’t understand why it’s not working. The way she tries so hard to make connections but it constantly falls flat, she says things that hurt without realising how or why. She follows the rules she’s been taught will make her friends — she’s kind, she’s forgiving, she’s accepting and apologetic when she messes up, but for some reason it’s just not working. She tries to mimic other people, she tries to laugh at past experiences, tries to open up about her past like everyone else is doing, but now everyone’s uncomfortable and looking at her like she’s crazy and she doesn’t get it!! She doesn’t get it!!! Jax is a jerk and he’s mean to everyone but for some reason Pomni likes him and she doesn’t get it, she doesn’t understand! Pomni tells her it’s okay to be a jerk sometimes but Ragatha doesn’t like being mean, she wants to be nice to people, but she does it anyway, she gets mean like Jax and Zooble do but now Pomni’s looking at her like she’s done something wrong but she just did what she asked her to!! She doesn’t get it!! At the end of the episode everyone goes off into their groups and Ragatha is left alone, after having tried so hard to make friends and fit in and make people like her, she’s still alone, and everyone thinks she’s weird and unapproachable and she just has to give up and accept that she is inherently unloveable. Her evil alter ego tells her she’s going to die alone and nobody loves her and the only thing she corrects her on is the fact that they can’t die here. The few that might like her when she’s around don’t miss her when she’s gone, because there’s nothing to miss. Ragatha has spent her whole life systematically stripping away everything that makes her different and unlikeable in order to make herself more palatable to others, and in the process she has made herself a personalitiless blank slate with no unique identity for others to latch onto and appreciate. She has nothing to add to any conversation because she’s too afraid of being disliked to have a memorable personality beyond being generally polite and nice. And just. God. Someone get this girl some noise cancelling headphones and a therapist on speed dial, being this good of a representation of what it’s like to be autistic, especially to be an autistic person with trauma, is not good for the soul. That final shot just destroys me right in the heart. My poor girl.

[writeouswriter]

The point of fiction is actually to put that guy in a situation™️, and he might try to tell you the point is to then get him out of the situation, WRONG, second situation

[violent138]

Alfred, finding a foolproof strategy to getting Bruce to eat the food he's prepared: "Master Bruce, your batdinner of batlobster and batsalad are upstairs in the secondary bat-kitchen."