#we need to gatekeep things harder

[brian-kinney-apologist]

just found out that d*nald tr*mp mentioned hannibal AGAIN

[mycenaae]

"show? no. this is for your own good" is from a 911 TIKTOK?????????

[neonspectrumdreams]

Guide to Voluntary Switching

I/we have known we are a system for around a decade now. One of the most helpful things we have ever learned to do is switching on command. Believe it or not, although it may not feel possible, it is possible to control switching. Sometimes it is harder to do and the switch may not last long, but overall it is very possible to learn how to consistently switch in and out as needed. We are a traumagenic system but this should work for other types of systems as well.

One useful application of this skill is for studying. The alter who learns information is the one with the easiest access to this information. It is possible to keep track of who studied and deliberately call them out when the information is needed.

It is also a great skill to use when processing trauma during therapy. It makes accessing dissociated materials that are specific to one alter much easier. It can help access alters with traumatic memories during something like an EMDR session. Outside of therapy, voluntarily accessing other alters has a wide variety of uses related to accessing compartmentalized ideas and feelings, or the opposite - switching to a capable alter when a young or traumatized alter is not up to handling an unavoidable responsibility or letting a tired alter rest and allowing a new host to become prominent.

The Skill of Gatekeeping

Gatekeeper alters are a well-known alter type. They are present in many systems. If you are in contact with one or more gatekeeper alters, try to get to know them. They may be able to teach you how to think in the way that they do that allows them to control who is and isn't in the front.. It is also possible to develop a good relationship with a gatekeeper alter and ask them to voluntarily trigger switches as needed. This is one method of learning how to control switching that works for some systems.

From what my gatekeepers have shared,

"gatekeeping is in essence: remembering who everyone is, and remembering how they feel allows you to find them inside and pull them out. There is also a feeling of pushing internally that pushes alters back and temporarily makes them go dormant. "

Alter Relationships

Some alters are closer to other alters. These alters may remember the existence of other alters that others may not remember. They may be able to trigger in alters that are close to them but not to the other alter.

Internal World Dynamics

It is possible to call inside for an alter, ask for them to switch in, and they may in fact switch in, although if they are especially dormant they may not hear this request at all. Do note that just thinking about the other alter may trigger a switch to that alter.

What helps is to make an area inside where alters can be found. This could be a specific room or place for each individual alter, or a general meeting area. It can be easy to find alters there because if you last remember seeing them inside somewhere, going back to that place sometimes allows you to access them much more easily. Grouping alters that want to front together/more frequently into a similar place can help them co-front together and find each other more conveniently to trigger switches.

Positive Triggers

All alters have certain things that they are passionate about and interested in. Many alters have specific roles that they automatically come out to perform when the situation calls for it. Pay attention to these triggers. If there is a certain behavior or situation that calls out an alter, make note of that. If an alter especially enjoys doing something, doing that activity can trigger them out - as can even just thinking about doing the activity. If an alter really likes something the other alters do not have a particular preference for, keeping a reminder of this thing around can trigger a switch. If this trigger is easily encountered voluntarily, it can be used to call out the alter.

Network of Associations

All of our alters and other types of thoughtforms are connected to memories and ideas that belong to them. The brain can only process so much information at once, so all living forms within the mind cannot be active at once. The information that is salient in our mind determines who is fronting. The brain can be tricked into pushing specific alters to the front by activating information that is associated with this alter and pushing away information that is not.

Memories

All alters are connected to at least a few memories. These are typically memories that they were personally present for - but could also be memories of creative or analytical ideas, or memories of having a strong emotional reaction about something. This often comes with a sense(s) of nostalgia that is associated with the alter and often occurs when the alter fronts. Remember each one for each alter. Some may overlap. This sense of nostalgia as well as any of these associated pieces of cognitive information, such as specific memories or ideas, can be used to voluntarily switch. They may also have an area of the internal world that is associated with them where they may easily be found.

Essence

Each alter has a distinct sense of self. Particularly in systems with strong amnesia barriers, it may be difficult or impossible to directly experience this firsthand. If it is possible to remember what it feels like to be them when they are present, this can be used to trigger a switch.

Using These Associations to Make the Switch Happen

Reflect on something associated with the alter, and the feeling of their nostalgia or what it feels like to be them. This will usually trigger a switch within a few minutes of doing this constantly or repeating it every few minutes. It may help to pay attention to what areas are active in the internal world as you do this. Try to go to areas where you know that alter often is; you may make a meeting area for the purpose of these voluntary switches to make this easier. Keep talking inside to see if they respond and are co-present. Once you feel their sense of self, imagine yourself/feel yourself mentally falling behind them and push yourself backwards inside. As they begin doing things outside of the mind in the real world, eventually you will either become coconscious, you remain present but are somewhat dissociated and may only be active in the internal world/mind's eye, or a full switch will happen and you won't even notice you're gone.

Types of Triggered Switches

It is possible to trigger a full switch (either one with or without coconsciousness,) as well as to trigger partial switches. Partial switches happen when an alter is awakened and present in some form, for instance they may be able to converse or remember events, but they do not fully front.

Coconsciousness

It is common for voluntary switches to lead to a switch wherein the triggered alter fully fronts and switches in while the original alter that provoked the switch also remains present. If this type of switch is specifically desired, it can be achieved by making an agreement with the alter that is going to switch in. Together, one alter can remember to trigger the other alter whenever they notice the other is not present, and this keeps them present at the same time. If co-consciousness is difficult for a system, this may feel like playing tag at first as both alters get used to the skill of triggering switches.

Complete Switch

Complete switches are common in response to voluntary switching. If the switching alters are all in agreement, they can maintain a planned switch by engaging in a voluntary switching method to keep the intended alter in the front. It can help to have a place in the internal world where they can go to symbolize they are leaving the front and going inside. The alter that has switched in can use the voluntary switching methods as a grounding technique to reduce dissociation and keep that particular alter in front. Particularly in dissociative systems, the brain naturally attempts to depersonalize which causes cyclical personality switching; grounding on the essence of that alter's sense of self reduces this dissociation and keeps them in front.

Ground to Maintain

It is common for the triggered switch to not last for very long. You may need to trigger the switch multiple times before it sticks. It helps if the alter switching in tried to ground themselves. If you remain co-conscious, which can happen in a succesful triggered switch, it can help to reflect on the stimulus (such as the feeling of the alter or their memories or favorite things) you used to trigger the switch to help solidfy and maintain the switch.

Fatigue

It can feel mentally exhausting to try to trigger a switch too many times. It is not uncommon to have to trigfer a switch multiple times, failing each time before giving up. Sometimes, you just cannot trigger a switch at all for some inexplicable reason. Don't be afraid to give up for a bit and try again later. It gets easier the more you practice. Don't be discouraged.

Host Switching

It happens to us all from time to time - our host(s) becomes tired or depressed and needs a break. Maybe our host is functional but is not as interested in daily life as another alter that would like a more active role in their life (perhaps because it involves something that is a positive trigger for them.) There is a way of chronically using these alter switching techniques to change hosts.

In order to change hosts, you have to trigger a switch to the intended new host frequently. Some people set an alarm on their phone to trigger a switch several times a day (depends on how long the triggered switch lasts), or make an in-system agreement to always trigger the intended host when host responsibilities (like going to the doctor or paying bills or going to class or eating) come up.

By chronically triggering a switch to a different host, over time (a few days to a few weeks, generally) this becomes the system's default pattern of switching.

Hostile Uses of Deliberate Switching

Remain in good communication with your alters and make sure that the switching alters are okay with what is happening. Don't try to force alters that don't want to leave to go away, and don't try to force alters that don't want to be present to the front. Going against an alter's will can feel painful at the moment and can cause long term problems if it becomes a chronic habit.

[thevoidstaredback]

How To Balance Your Daytime and Nighttime Activities So That You Don't Burn Yourself Out More Than You Already Have

Batman has an insane patrol schedule. Danny knew this, somewhere in the back of his mind, but it was only just settling in for him.

"You're gonna be dead tired tomorrow," he warns Dick, "You were tired for only being out for two hours longer than your new normal, going from sunset to sunrise is gonna knock you out. I can't drive, Dick, so we'll be stuck in Gotham for another day if you pass out."

Dick patted his head with a smile. "I'll be fine. I'll vene bring ya back some Bat Burger, okay?"

Danny blinked. "Bat Burger?"

"You've- You've never had Bat Burger?" Louder, he called to Barbra and Tim who'd just come back from wherever the Cave entrance is with a comm for Danny, "Danny's never had Bat Burger!"

Barbra gasped dramatically. Tim clutched ay imaginary pearls. "You've never had Bat Burger?!"

"That sounds like an exclusively Gotham thing, and I am decidedly not from Gotham."

It was quiet for another moment as the three stared at him. Finally, Dick blinked. "Have you always been Midwestern?"

"As far as I know, why?"

His head tilted slightly to the left. "Your accent just seems..."

"Much more prevalent." Tim finished.

"Yeah, that."

“I don’t know what you guys are talking about. I’ve always talked like this.” A lie. He was hiding his accent from everyone so that tracking him down would be ever so slightly harder. Danny shrugged, “Right, Barbra?”

She shook her head. "No, you leave me outta this. As far as I know, you've sounded like this the whole time and these two are only just picking up on the accent."

Good job, Danny. Gaslight, Gatekeep, Girlboss your way into their hearts.

"Anyway," Barbra continued, holding her hand to Danny, "This is a comm. It'll keep you patched in until we come back up to the manor after patrol. If you get tired of us or when you sleep, just take it out and put it on your nightstand; we'll take it back down in the morning for you."

"Are you sure you don't wanna come to the Cave?" Tim asked.

Danny shook his head, the comm now sitting in his left ear. "Mister Wayne already hates me, I'm not gonna go into his space. Besides, I'm already intruding as it is."

"I just don't want you to be bored."

"It's alright, I'm sure I'll find something to occupy myself with while you guys are out. And, isn't the whole point of me being on comms so that you guys can talk to me?"

"You're right," Dick agreed, "We'll see ya when we get back."

"Alright."

Occupy himself with? Yeah, he's going back to Bludhaven. Another problem he just realized, though: How is Bat Tech going to react to/around Phantom? Danny figures he has about two minutes to figure it out or he's gonna have to bench himself for the night.

There was no one around, so he ducked into the nearest room to transform. It was a quick lightshow, as always, but not enough to draw attention of anyone passing by.

Except Alfred. Alfred probably knows.

Alfred won't tell Bruce, right?

Right?

Probably not.

Hopefully.

Focusing on the comm revealed no static, though there was no sound either. Was someone trying to talk to him already? Hopefully not. That'd be upsetting.

There was a soft crackle before: "Danny, can you hear us?"

Phantom allowed a small smile of victory. "Yeah, loud and clear, Barbra."

"Call me Batgirl right now, okay? Tim's Robin, and, as you know, Dick's Nightwing. And, if you really need him, Bruce is Batman."

"Got it."

"We don't use real names on comms," Robin said, "Do you have something we could call you?"

That's probably a fish for what his hero name used to be. All three of them - Tim, at the very least - were hung up on the 'not anymore' of his denial and it really showed. He could make it easy and tell them to call him Phantom, but he really does not want them finding out his childhood right now. So, "Tutelary."

"'Tutelary'?" Nightwing asked.

"It's Greek," Batgirl said, "Tutelaries are deities or patrons of protection."

"Aw, that's cute," Robin cooed teasingly, "But you aren't doing much protecting from the Manor."

Phantom - is he really ready to give up that name? - blushed green, "Shut up. Protection Spirits are a big deal where I'm from!" Yeah, meaning most people don't actually think they're protecting them, but who really cares about technicalities?

"And that would be..?" Batman spoke up, his voice coming out much more 'gargle glass' over the comms than was probably intended.

Phantom smirked. "The Midwest." Limits options, but not specifically but he figured he could throw them a bone. Though, that's the only one he's giving Mister Wayne.

Speaking of, "I'll try not to be a distraction, Mister Batman sir, but I won't make any promises."

Nightwing, Batgirl and Robin were all sniggering. Batman was quiet for no more than a few seconds. "Stop getting distracted; We're leaving."

"Yes, sir!"

Phantom listened closely, focusing on the Cave below the Manor. Batman and Robin had gotten into some kind of assault vehicle-race car mix and were driving out into Gotham Proper quickly. Nightwing and Batgirl were both on motorcycles, leaving out a different way but just as quickly.

"Have fun out there, you guys."

Nightwing laughed, "We'll bring ya back some Bat Burger."

Part 15 Part 17

Real quick, before you move on, a quick Thank You to @bianca-hooks123 for the idea for Danny's name Tutelary. I hadn't even thought of using that until it was suggested, so thanks <3

[queeranarchism]

Society is usually kind of hard on people who suffer without having this easily understood and accepted reason. Things like compassion and recognition and support are often hard to come by and they're even harder to come by when people can't categorize you into the 'groups I have decided deserve compassion' box.

And so you get a tendency to take every suffering and squish it into a label that is a little bit understood and accepted.

Sometimes this medicalizes us. Having a hard time has to be either depression or trauma or some other diagnosable label, it can not just 'be'. It has to be assigned to a specific category of hard time to access even the minimum amount of support or compassion. And so if you don't fit one of those labels easily, you try and try to squeeze your hard time into the label that seems like the nearest fit and you try to ignore the parts that don't fit. And you pray that no one finds out that you're not being entirely truthful.

Sometimes this colonizes us, because the recognized labels are almost always invented by white people in Europe or the US. Experiencing your identity differently from the dominant concepts of 'man' and woman' can not just 'be'. It has to be labelled as trans or nonbinary or gendernonconforming. Recognition of your oppression is inaccessible unless you fit this white category that we sometimes grant the minimum amount of recognition. And so you try and try to sqeeuze your gender into the label that seems like the nearest fit and you try to ignore the parts that don't fit.

And when you address this, there's often a tendency to pretend that this forced assimilation is purely benevolent. "Trans isn't white or US/European, it's an umbrella term for everyone!", while ignoring who gets to define the dominant cultural narrative of what trans means. "We all deserve to be able to get diagnosed and/or self-diagnose! It gives you access to tools and medications!", while ignoring the destroyed possibilities of exploring our hard times through a non-medical lens. And of course in both cases: while ignoring that the assimilation isn't a choice, it's a necessity to be treated like someone who is going through shit.

We're often quite good at recognizing the causes of these problems: gender roles, gatekeeping of transition care, capitalism forcing us to prove that we're really too sick to work, etc. But what we need to get better at is being generous with our compassion and recognition and support towards people who don't fit our recognized categories of 'oppressed', especially those who are caught misrepresenting parts of themselves to fit into a category so that they might access compassion and recognition and support.

[lillypad-monopoly]

Wild Life Episode 5 Thoughts

(Except I'm insane about Martyn's ep)

LIFE SERIES TRIVIA is DIABOLICAL! The watchers literally being like "how well do you guys know your pain and suffering?" (also sorry only winners remember theory truthers)

The way Grian and Scar are such bitter ex-soulmates that Mumbo has to point it out is hilarious. (also them getting even and saying "Just like Third Life" hurt my heart)

Grian not remembering iconic moments from his own series is so funny. What do you mean he only knows Martyn beheaded Ren with an axe from fanart? Grian gaining possession of the Red Winter Axe was a whole plot point.

MUMBO FIRST OUT! IN SESSION 5! The canary curse is broken for real now guys but at what cost.

Grian standing on the ruins of the tower by himself going through the five stages of grief over Mumbo's death as the sun rises in the background is a gorgeous piece of fanart waiting to happen

Martyn you didn't need to start the episode by talking about how Ren is providing for you, you're asking for the shipping at this point 🤣

MARTYN YOU DO THE LORE OFC JIMMY AND TANGO WERE OUT FIRST. Also REN YOU WERE LITERALLY IN DOUBLE LIFE. RIP Ren/BigB we know where his true loyalties lie

THE TWO NICKLES MEME BREAKING CONTAINMENT I CAN'T

Ren inviting BigB to join the RenWood Mound alliance WITHOUT REMEMBERING DOUBLE LIFE is so insane I don't even know what to say.

OF COURSE SCAR REMEMBERS THE DESERT DUO FLOWERS I'M GOING TO BE SICK

Martyn and Ren saying they're going to be boat bros. This has been coming since last session but I NEED Joel and Etho to call them out on it

"We're boat boys," MARTYN INTHELITTLEWOOD WHEN I CATCH YOU-

Etho yelling for Bdubs to hit him so they could test if the wildcard affected damage and then Tango going "smack me harder~" in the background was diabolical. Suuuure you guys are all PG.

Etho sitting in a boat for Joel to jump over him feels like some boat boys relationship symbolism I'm not smart enough to explain

So Etho is currently living with team BET, but allied with the Four Gs, and in the family with Gem and Joel. Wildcard Etho is so back!

Of course Impulse immediately remembered the clock question.

Joel boasting about how he immediately knows all the questions is peak Joel form and I would expect nothing less. It is kind of warranted though because everybody else is waffling on the simple ones.

Joel is now two for two on unquestioningly trusting Etho only to have something bad happen to him and not even being mad about it what is wrong with this man 😭

Does Joel have the censor bleep on his keyboard or did he just straight up start swearing at Tango and know they would both have to censor it in post to get the effect that he was also making the noise?

Scott's gone from a creaking fanboy to a body horror situation and I'm living for it (also considering he's agreed to "go wild" this session--am I sensing a Scott corruption arc?)

Scott cutting directly from saying he and Jimmy were never married even though they called each other husbands to a scene WITH Jimmy was kind of an insane choice

Gaslight Gatekeep Girlboss Girldad has been confirmed by Scott as the actual reason for the 4Gs. I still think Gaslight Gatekeep Girlboss ImpulseSV is funnier but good to have an official ruling

Scott giving up his life for Pearl and them being good natured about it and calling it therapy! I love them so much!

Lizzie being the only person who's not exicted when a trivia bot spawns is so funny. Even the other players who weren't in all the seasons don't seem to be as miffed by them as she is.

Lizzie's flaming snail arising out of that hole while smiling is potentially the funniest thing I've seen all day. Why did it look like that 🤣

[nonbinarymlm]

We Need to Accept that Silly Things Can Hurt People

Please allow me to ruminate a bit more on mental health on this blog. I have ADHD and OCD, both disorders commonly stereotyped and conflated with minor, silly behaviors like yelling SQUIRREL when you see a squirrel and organizing things by color. These stereotypes can often minimize and erase the genuine difficulties and harm that these conditions can cause. That’s very true, and it often causes intense sensitively and knee-jerk denial around stereotypes around this. I don’t think that’s necessarily the best reaction, because sometimes people can have symptoms very similar to these stereotypes.

I think we need to accept that silly things can hurt people. Silly, ridiculous symptoms can devastate people’s lives. People shouldn’t have to react into their painful past and trauma to get people to take their symptoms seriously when those symptoms are silly on their face, because that turns things into a pain competition and can result in gatekeeping how much people must suffer before their seemingly ridiculous symptoms get taken seriously.

I think we just need to, as a society and culture and social norm, accept that silly things can genuinely, sometimes intensely, hurt people. Yes, I do have the impulse to tell an animal’s name when I see that animal, and yes it’s part of my symptoms that makes it harder to me to drive and hold conversations and do basic functioning. Yes, I do worry about incredibly tiny and silly things, that the world’s tiniest cut means I’m literally dying, and this has at times been incredibly miserable to live with and severely inhibited my functioning and nearly lost me a job. Also I’m going to joke about it sometimes because it’s funny. I’m not going to find a joke about it from a stranger with no OCD funny, because they have no idea how much pain it can cause me.

Sometimes these conditions are absurd in ways that are funny. That’s true and people with the conditions should be able to joke about it. But everyone needs to understand, just because a symptom is absurd doesn’t mean it can’t also devastate you and ruin your life. So if you don’t have these conditions and aren’t super close to someone who has them, I think you should be sensitive and avoid joking even if it seems silly and funny. I think there is where true destigmatization lies: accepting that the silly brain can also really hurt.

[genderkoolaid]

Hi!

I (24 nb) am having a serious issue with girls my age being quite misandric and using radfem rhetoric in their speech.

The issue is I understand their fear and mistrust of men in patriarchy and with many of them having horror stories to share about bad heterosexual relationships. But i am deeply uncomfortable with misandry and i don't know how to effectively point out that no it's not good feminism to hate on men.

Do you have any resources you could recommend me to build a good argument? I want to be prepared for this kind of discussion because it keeps happening more and more frequently.

I know it's not the main topic you cover on your blog but as it is closely related to transandrophobia I was hoping you (or your followers) could still give me some advice.

I wish you a wonderful day

My advice would be to start with talking about the negative impact of misandry on women first (although don't use the word misandry, at least at first). Starting off with "it hurts men" in any regard will likely not go over well, but if you first bring up the issue in relation to a group they already really care about, they'll be more likely to listen. Also, I would reaffirm that having trauma or bad associations with men isn't the problem, they aren't obligated to associate with men in ways that make them uncomfortable or exhausted, and that they have a right to feel their emotions, be angry, be annoyed, etc. Affirm that your concern is with how their actions and attitudes could be causing real harm to others, and that anger being valid does not mean you don't need to take responsibility for how you choose to act.

Some potential talking points:

When women are perceived as manly or masculine, they tend to get viewed with the worst traits of masculinity: butches and trans women are seen as aggressive, violent predators who prey on sweet, feminine straight/cis women. The patriarchy doesn't just hurt women through their femininity, but through their (real or perceived masculinity as well.

Even inside queer spaces, butches are expected to fulfill toxic masculinity: they are expected to be sexually dominant tops, not be emotionally or physically "weak," not do feminine things, etc. Butches can get ridiculed by others, even partners, for not fulfilling these things. Things like balding and small penises, that are traditionally seen as failures of masculinity in the patriarchy, are also made fun of in queer spaces; it seems like queer spaces have issues with how they deal with (real or perceived) masculinity.

When spaces make jokes about hating men, put a lot of emphasis on gatekeeping men, etc., it makes it a lot harder for trans women and nonbinary people assigned male feel safe. Some trans women & genderqueers might not realize their gender because they are kept out of spaces that could've helped them realize because of how queer & feminist spaces act regarding men. Butch trans women and genderqueers often face heightened scrutiny because of their masculinity, from both inside and outside their communities. (Also, send them this article.)

^ As a result of all of that, maybe we need to be more careful with how we think and talk about masculinity. It seems like we are reusing a lot of negative patriarchal stereotypes about men & masculinity in ways which hurt marginalized people the most.

From there, you can bring up marginalized men: you can talk about how trans men, multigender/nonbinary men, men of color, Jewish men, fat men, disabled men, etc. are negatively affected by negative patriarchal stereotypes about men & masculinity- I emphasis that because its how I would go about referring to "misandry" or "antimasculism" without actually using a word. Since misandry (and anything that sounds similar) is such a trigger word for many, its important to set the foundation that there is a big difference between the MRA concept of misandry, and the transunitist concept of misandry. Transunitist misandry focuses on how sexism & genderism* is used to target marginalized groups (specifically trans* people). Transunitist misandry does not say that misogyny doesn't exist, or that men are oppressed in the exact same way women are; its saying that the patriarchy (as a part of kyriarchy) uses gender and sex to harm not just marginalized women, but marginalized men too.

My goal with this would be to introduce and try to convince them of the idea that Misandry Is Harmful Maybe, and then once they realize how its harmful, bring up the idea that this kind of stuff needs to be named. Once they generally agree with these ideas, I think it will be much easier to help them understand why misandry is bad even beyond marginalized men: because the patriarchy relies on harmful ideas and expectations for men, even as (dominant/non-marginalized) men have a different place and more rewards; because liberationist feminism must be concerned with universal liberation, and that means it must be concerned with everyone's wellbeing and liberation; because we cannot disnantle the master's house with the master's tools, and letting any patriarchal thinking in poisons the well of your feminist praxis; because it just makes you a meaner and shittier person. In my experience people who think in the ways you described are resistant (not necessarily for bad reasons) to any kind of criticism towards sexism/genderism towards men, so my tactic would be starting with areas (like women) that they are concerned with not hurting and show how misandry hurts that group. Connecting the harm of this way of thinking to something they care about is going to make them more open to seeing it as an issue in general.

*I use "sexism" to describe the system of oppression based on physical sex, and "genderism" to describe the system of oppression based on gender identity/presentation/roles.

[chibi-celesti]

TWST related Ramble Incoming; Spoilers to Book 07 mentioned as well. You have been warned!!

I just noticed this morning that Malleus has traits connected to the previous OB gang. And how it kinda culminates together in Book 07. Let me explain:

Riddle and Malleus have strained Realtionships with their families. Granted in Riddle’s case it's his mother and Malleus his grandmother, but with some slight differences. Where Riddle’s whole life was dictated by his mother, the Senate(aka bitchie old farts that need some purifying salt) controls Malleus and his life. And when I mean that, I meant how they ripped him away from Lilia as a baby cause of their narrow minded view of the former General.

Leona and Malleus are both royalty. While Leona is a second born Prince who will never be king, Malleus has no choice but to be crowned Ruler of Briar Valley once his Grannie retires. Sure Leona may find him stuck up and annoying, but what he doesn't know is the fact that just like him, Malleus is also dealing with subjects who revere him or fear him cause of his powers.

Azul and Malleus both crave something. Azul craves power and money as a coping mechanism(at the beginning at least) as revenge for those that bullied and mocked him as a child. Malleus craves companionship. And yes he has his family (his Grandmother, Lilia, Silver and Sebek), they all keep him at arm's length for different reasons beit his status or heartache of getting too close. Thus building up the loneliness in his heart.

Jamil and Malleus are envious of other people. Jamil is jealous of the freedoms Kalim has as a naïve heir and able to dance about in the light, and yet he-Jamil-has to stick to the shadows. Never allowed to be free to do what he wants lest he bring dishonor to his parents. Malleus, as stated before, is jealous of others and the fun things they get to do. He's hardly been invited to events from EVERYONE at NRC. Heck, not a single Noble invited him to any social gatherings during his Winter break! The only time he got one was from Yuu/MC in Book 05.

Vil and Malleus both share some sort vanity with one another. Vil works hard to be the fairest, most beautiful person in the world. Malleus is part of the Top 5 Strongest Mages in TW, and there are times he takes pride in using his magic to fix things or get carried away with doing something that throws others off like in Vargas Training Camp Ver. 02, with him altering the Cave and making it mazy and confusing to his the other campers.

Idia and Malleus value their family bonds but theyre alos the cursed ones of the group. Idia and his family are doomed to forver be the Gatekeepers of the Underworld due to the nature of their connection with Overblots and such. Malleus is cursed not just by his family name, but his own late mother, Melenor Draconia, blessed him with being a star of hope for the people of Briar Valley and an omen of evil to humans. This in turn has isolated him from his peers all throughout his time in NRC til we befriend him. And like I stated in Azul's part his family does love him, but his status makes it harder for him to convey his true feelings of love them.

Malleus is a tragic character with neat parallels to those that broke before him. A person who yearns for things that his peers are too naïve to understand. Let alone give him a chance to engage with them in ways they could better know each other. Which makes his eventual defeat in Book 07 whenever that happens all the more painful ;-;

[sixshotsinatumbllr]

Angels Don't Dance Chapter Thirteen: A completely wasted Eric, is up!

Read from the first chapter here.

Summary: Crowley is assigned to attend a Bush Doof (underground EDM festival) in Australia. Aziraphale tags along for funsies. In this chapter, Crowley needs to gaslight gatekeep girlboss harder than she's ever gaslighted gatekept girlbossed before.

Excerpt:

‘You know what we were talking about yesterday?’ Michael asks slowly, in a measured voice. 

Dagon looks at her quizzically. ‘About how rabbits were meant to be venomous?’

‘No,’ replies Michael. ‘About-’

‘Because that was a fuck-up. I’d love to see those little fluffy buggers bring down a human with one little nibble.’

‘Ah. Yes, that would be amusing. No, I meant-’

‘Oh, you mean the thing about how you want to frame Uriel for watching porn on the Human Surveillance Monitors? Because I’ve had a tonne of thoughts about how we can make that happen-’

‘No,’ Michael says again, although she smiles at the thought of bringing Uriel into disrepute. It’s a thrilling concept. ‘About the- demon/angel relations thing.’

‘Oh yeah.’

‘Yeah,’ Michael replies. 

‘It’d be a hard sell down our way. Getting demons to accept that kind of thing. Even though there’s no actual rule about it,’ Dagon plays with the end of her hair, not looking Michael in the eye. 

‘Same in Heaven,’ Michael affirms. ‘But-’

‘But?’ Dagon sits up a little straighter (which, admittedly, is still not very straight. Doof Dagon is a very relaxed Dagon).

‘But- what if there were to be a precedent?’

‘Go on.’

‘What if, say, there was an angel-demon couple, someone perhaps quite- um- quite well known in the circles of Hell and Heaven…’

‘Someone with a bit of a profile?’ Dagon asks. ‘For example… the Serpent of Eden-’

‘And the Angel of the Eastern Gate.’ Michael finishes with a flourish. ‘What if, say, those two were given some kind of permission, or support to engage in a personal relationship. A romantic one, perhaps, or a-’

‘Or a sexual one?’

‘ Yes ,’ says Michael, rather more emphatically than she had meant to sound. ‘I mean, what would happen then?’

‘Well,’ says Dagon. ‘If there was a precedent, I am sure that it would…open up the gates to more demon-angel relationships.’

---

Big thanks as always to my partner @zaizai734 for beta work; and to my crew at @whickberstreetwriters for support and cheerleading, especially @sakascal, @rofell, @playdohangel, and @angie-words who betaed this chapter.

In the next chapter: will Crowley's plan work? Does the plan even make sense? What are Michael and Dagon up to?

[detransition]

I often see more gatekeeping presented as a way to prevent detransition. And while this wouldn’t necessarily be useless, it’s a band aid solution. Working harder to root out the “right” people to transition from the “wrong” people to transition isn’t going to eliminate transition regret. To get at why we have to ask, who are the “right” people? Are they the ones are suffering the most or who have been suffering the longest? Are they the most gender non-conforming ones? Are they the ones persistent enough to pass through checkpoint after checkpoint? None of these things insure that transitioning is going to work for someone: that it’s going to improve their quality of life.

When I walked into gender therapy I was suicidal and had been off and on since I was old enough to understand what death was. I was already being regularly mistaken for a boy. I was adamant that I needed this. My therapist called me a “classic case” and still we talked for almost a year before I socially transitioned. I then spent another year living “full time” before starting testosterone and spent my first six months of testosterone on a low dose prescribed by a fairly paranoid pediatric endocrinologist. I met every requirement. I passed every checkpoint. I didn’t take any shortcuts. And still, here I am: a woman, a butch dyke, further from normality than ever, bitter about what happened to me. Because none of those measures addressed my underlying problem.

What we really need if we want potential regretters to not be certain that they need this is a shift in culture. We need environments without misogyny that are affirming of lesbianism and gender non-conformity. We need girls to grow up free from abuse, supported in their mental health and knowing that they can be anything they want to be and anything they are. We need to encourage them to love and live in their bodies and provide immediate solutions if they find that they can’t. Because by the time that many girls step into a gender therapist’s office they’ve already made up their minds, for good reason, that they can’t live this way.

from e-cryptid (deactivated) | thinking of detransition? you are not alone

[outfitqueer]

No Wrong Way to Be Trans

@outfitqueer 🏳️‍⚧️I have been reading a lot of posts and texts, and I also noticed many people speak about this troubling pattern: trans men and masculine-presenting folks often face intense pressure to fit certain expectations from both within our community and from society at large. It seems like there’s an endless list of criteria for being "trans enough," and it never really fits anyone perfectly.

Some are criticized for being too visible or too bold with their style and choices. Others are told they’re not visible enough and should be more open about their journey. Preferences for clothing, hairstyles, or how someone chooses to express their gender can all become points of contention.

What’s tough is that no matter what choices a trans person makes, someone always seems ready to judge or dismiss them. It’s like we’re expected to walk this impossible line, where stepping too far in any direction means we’re doing it wrong.

But here’s the thing—there’s no wrong way to be who you are. Every trans person’s experience is different, and that diversity is something to be celebrated, not criticized. We should be focusing on supporting each other, understanding that every path is unique, and that what’s right for one person might not be right for another.

And here’s where I want to be crystal clear: This kind of gatekeeping within the trans community needs to stop. It’s not just unhelpful; it’s harmful. No one has the right to tell anyone else how to live their truth. Whether someone chooses to be loud and proud or quietly live their life, whether they embrace traditionally masculine styles or mix it up—these choices are valid.

I stand firm in this belief: Our strength comes from our diversity. It’s time to stop dividing ourselves based on superficial differences and start lifting each other up. The world outside is already tough enough on us. Let’s not make it harder on each other.

This is a call to action—let’s create a community where every trans person feels empowered to be exactly who they are, without fear of judgment or rejection. Because in the end, we’re all in this together, and the only way forward is through unity, respect, and unconditional support.

@outfitqueer 🏳️‍⚧️

[rorysterr]

hello!!

uh if you want (only if you want) can you possibly do a obey me match up for me?

-im super nice to alot of people unless you do really rude things or disrespectful things, I'm somewhat crazy sometimes, I am responsible when I need to be, and I'm assuming my friends would say im chronically online.

-my likes are: Greek mythology (tho I don't know much) I love anime alot, I enjoy writing and drawing, I love swimming competitively, and I love all my friends!

-what i dislike is when I overhear some of my friends talking, and I ask what's up but they either ignore me or say "it's nothing", or when people lie to me. I have trypophobia, which is a fear of small holes, spiders, and probably drowning

-my hobbies are doomscrolling, reading, drawing/writing or playing video games

-love language:

receiving: words of affirmation

giving: gifts or love through actions

-im looking for my partner to understand me and be patient with me, along with being smart and strong as well.

-i would not like diavolo, simeon, Levi or belphie (considering 3 out of 4 my friends simp for and I don't like diavolo)

-i would like someone who's taller than me, I'm 4'11(I think)

and I think that is probably all I can say!

hi id love to give you a matchup:)

Your romantic matchup is…

Solomon!!

- this one was a bit harder but i think solomon would best suit you.

- i think you two wouldn’t have any issues getting along at first. Solomon is polite (he becomes a huge tease when you guys become bros enough though) and i can imagine that he’d leave a pretty good impression on you at first. i don’t see him doing anything disrespectful and ruining that impression.

-i feel like he formally introduced himself as the other human at RAD but you guys didn’t hit it off until he realized you were into video games.

- Solomon is canonically into TSL so we can assume that he’s interested in other video games albeit he probs doesn’t have as much time to play them since he’s busy with Magic LMAO

- I feel like maybe you posted something and there was video games merch in the back or maybe he saw a keychain you had and pointed it out. And since he’s also from the human world, he happens to be into the same video games !

- solomon is kinda like you in the sense that he can be responsible and serious whenever it’s necessary but he can also loosen up at times (through his teasing).

- I feel like he’s also super into Greek mythology so he’s yap with you about it, and if you don’t know much about Greek mythology, that’s okay because he can enlighten you !

- Solomon fits your criteria. He’s strong and smart. He may not have the same inhumane strength that the angels and demons have, but he is considered the most powerful sorcerer to have lived and his power grows by the day.

- I feel like he would make the first move im ngl

- and when you start dating, you can expect weekly sleepovers at the purgatory hall ^^

Your platonic matchup is…

Leviathan!!

- okay im assuming its okay to pair you too platonically (since you only said you dislike Diavolo and your friend likes him) but if not, lmk and ill give you a diff platonic matchup !!

- so Levi might come off a little mean at first because he thinks you’re just some “normie” and he thinks that you don’t want to be friends with him (and that’s coming from a place of insecurity).

- I can imagine that this would leave a pretty bad taste in your mouth since you just met him?? why is he so mean?? but I think once he realizes you’re into anime (maybe you have an anime keychain or plushie and he saw), he might start to realize that you’re pretty cool. I think he would be a massive gatekeeper ngl I feel like he’d be like those people who are like “name three songs by x band” when they catch you wearing a t shirt from said band.

- but I think you guys would really become friends because he accidentally sent a Devilgram reel to you and he meant to send it to Sol LMAO and since you’re chronically online, you saw it before he could delete it. I feel like it was a reel about some video game that the both of you happen to play so you recognized the game and Levi just started to yap about it.

- From then on, Levi would invite you over to his room to watch anime and play new video games with.

- whenever he orders a new game from akuzon, you’ll be the first person he shows and tries it with.

- I can see him being that friend that spams you with 50 reels within the span of an hour LMAO but you match his freak since you’re also chronically online so I can imagine that you do the same!

- omg and whenever you draw, levi will hype you up! especially if it’s fanart of a game or anime character. i can see him reposting, liking, and commenting to boost your account !

Runner Up… Satan

[hillbillyoracle]

I've spoken before about the increasing tendency of online communities to coopt the language of specific material difficulties face by minority groups to give their personal complaints more "moral" weight.

The example I always use for this is "gatekeeping" - it was used for a long time in the trans and disabled communities to denote the situation we often face where a cis or able bodied medical professional got to determine whether we belonged to a group enough to access treatments we needed. This is a very serious medical issue that we face that leads people in the community to wind up using black markets and risking their lives with less than scrupulous people who seek to profit off of this medical alienation. Some people wind up in incredibly amounts of physical and mental pain or even committing suicide.

I spent a long time not understanding why in the last maybe 6 or so years so many people, mostly younger, seized on the words as if it was theirs to describe merely not being included in a group by others of the same identity were no route for filling a material need is impacted. Even more recently I've run across people who are using it to mean that information they want - for hobbies, interests - is difficult for them to find.

I hear all the time "language changes" - which is definitely true. But it's worth looking at why given language changes happen - and who benefits. This is a whole field in linguistics and it tell you a lot about the values of a given group. It hit me when I came across it most recently that whether people admit it or not, they borrow that language because they want their complaint to be taken as seriously as the material complaint they see it originate with.

And this is obviously not great right? Like you not being allowed in a discord you want or it not being easy to figure out how to knit a sweater are very obviously not on par with being denied a badly needed medical treatment to deal with your pain because you're not considered "disabled enough" by an able bodied doctor. I get this is largely happening subconsciously and we don't really have a language to talk about it making it even harder or people to catch in their own usage. I don't have an answer to that as I'm not a trained philosopher or linguist but I do have some food for thought.

For those who can be honest with themselves enough to see that they likely use words like this to lend the moral weight of marginalization to their mundane concerns, I want you to know some practical issues with this.

One, it pretty instantly flags you as being unsure of the veracity or relevance of your point, unlikely to be receptive to the other person, and more worried about appearances rather than the issue at hand. Which is a shame because you may have a really good point in there. You may absolutely be calling out an issue that needs addressed. But borrowing the language of these groups for their moral weight is simply not needed when you've made an effective argument.

Two, moralizing the mundane is a facet of carceral cultural creep. This really could be it's own post, but simply put, we've come up in a media ecosystem which tends to praise "justice" systems as being the means for processing difficult experiences - regardless of how true that is when interacting with the systems themselves. So even people who are out here saying ACAB will unironically police other people on having and performing the correct opinions in ever tightening loops (as punished people are needed to keep the rest o the group in line). You're not exempt from it and the desire to make mundane things like people not wanting you in their clubhouse and not finding the right video out to be a moral failure on someone else's part is rooted in those very non-progressive ideas.

Three, generalization means the language loses it's moral weight as it gets used meaning it is a constant process of habituation and more and more groups will wind up having their very important and specific terminology taken up for the sake of this particular selfish pyre. Once you've habituated to the language you can never go back and grasping at the language that these groups have to continually reinvent in light of this watering down is a type of violence given the material costs to groups who can no longer name the heinous act of the systems they face. If you indulge in this, it'll never stop and can never be enough.

The answer is pretty simple. Learn to state your feelings plainly. Learn to form solid arguments without resorting to mental shortcuts like coopting the marginalization to moralize your mundane experience. Learn how to set actual boundaries (which are about controlling your own behavior not others) and walk away from people and groups that don't align with your preferences and pursuits.

The answer is grow into yourself - stable, healthy, flexible.

[jezzzebel]

hii!! i've recently gotten into slavic paganism and i have a couple of questions!

is it okay to be part of this religion if i myself am not slavic?

what are the most major ceremonies/events i should be aware of?

do u have any tips?

tyyy!

Greetings anon! Thank you for asking, i love getting asks from yall 💝💝💝

As for your first question, the answer is YES. It's okay to be a slavic pagan if you are not slavic. Slavic paganism is an open religion. You will just have a harder time searching for resources in english or any other non-slavic language. But that's okay. People who tell you that slavic paganism is closed are either misinformed or just gatekeepers. But as slavic paganism has no records of it being an ethno religion, closed , or initiatory, it is open. As long as you approach the gods and traditions with respect and an open mind!! :)

As for your second question, i have just the resource for you:

https://youtu.be/Hclpxfg8Qt4?si=EQGd6Ag8mxvj1uPF

In slavic paganism, we have our holidays that correspond to the season they are in. Some events and holidays are:

Koliada (celebrated on a range from 20.12. to 06.01. )

Maslenitsa (24th February)

Rusalnaya week (mid of june)

Komoeditsa (the spring solstice)

Days of Veles (somewhere in January, forgive me i forgot)

Kupala night (june 23.-24.)

Day of Mokosh (November 10th or october 28th)

Perun's day (20th july)

**keep in mind these dates are mostly not fixed or in order!**

As for the tips i got...

1. Prioritize learning about regional customs , from different slavic countries. Example, Croatia and Poland will most likely have different traditions for a same holiday.

2. Don't be afraid to get UPG. You don't need to stay strict to the resources you have in your worship. If your intuition tells you that a deity likes something, and it isn't in the resources you have... Feel free to trust it.

3. Try prayer. This might be more of a personal advice but it's always good to try praying to the deities sometimes. This applies to the slavic gods too.

4. Simplify it for the start. No need to go all out for the start of your journey.

5. Most important tip... This might be a little paradoxical... But don't focus all your practice on the gods. I get it, it's exciting to interact with deities... Not just in slavic religion, but in any other lol. But the thing is that slavic paganism is... Paganism.. a religion that is focused on the Earth, nature, and community. Look into different slavic mythological spirits and creatures, look into the nature around you and see the gods in small moments of happiness.

That's all i got! Hope you are satisfied with my answers and found them helpful!! 😁😁

[giantkillerjack]

the average person doesn't expect you to be a perfect ethical consumer, that's not possible for the vast majority of us. but what youre saying is it's better to do nothing at all and choose the worst possible options (sweat shops, overseas shipping waste, idea/product theft, all wrapped up in SHEIN) than to put even the tiniest effort in where you can.

[they are referring to this post]

What I said was "some people are doing literally everything they can to survive and have no extra bandwidth to spend extra time and money on their purchases, and it is cruel and therefore un-punk to gatekeep punkness and add additional shame to these people's lives based on that fact."

I think it's still a good thing to try to ethically consume; I literally never said it wasn't. I had never even heard of SHEIN before. Rather, I am much more concerned about what I saw as arbitrary gatekeeping based on ability and income.

And frankly how dare you claim that I am supporting sweatshops and abuse by saying that this additional work you are demanding (in this case, presumably, vetting every clothing company you buy from) is not always possible for people. It is not a light accusation to accuse me of supporting abuse.

"How dare you say we piss on the poor", Etc. 🙄 this isn't Twitter. You are determined to enforce moral purity, but you are failing to see the nuance.

Because when I say "no extra bandwidth," I mean no extra bandwidth. This is not the "car shows it's on E but actually secretly it has a lot of gas left" situation that abled people constantly assume disabled people mean when they say they are at their limit.

This is "the car has stopped moving, and to move it I'd have to break my body pushing it." This is "at a certain point, people will hit a wall in terms of money and time and energy, and any energy spent after that comes directly out of their life force."

So the argument "okay but just spend a little more time money and energy actually" is not a valid one.

And the argument "if you are not able to do this specific task, then it means you're not doing anything else to make the world a better place" doesn't exactly impress me either. You said yourself that it is impossible to be a perfectly ethical consumer for most people.

How do you know what else people are doing to resist oppression? How many hours per week until your standards are met?What if someone works 3 jobs? Does that mean it's harder to be a good person if you're poor?? Why do you get to decide what specific avenue of bettering the world is the most morally repugnant or acceptable? What kind of proof of goodness and effort would make you satisfied enough to lay off on the shame?? Who are you helping??

Clothing is a fundamental human need, and some of us have to buy cheap fucking clothes quickly. Billionaires are buying their seventh yacht this month. The people who own fast fashion companies are abusing their workers and putting local affordable clothing stores out of business - and this applies for basically every company with price points that low because governments are failing to regulate corporations to enforce basic human rights.

I have $300 to spend on a new wardrobe as my old clothes have fallen apart or become too small. Do you have a way for me to get a new winter coat, 3 flannels, 10 shirts, 3 dress shirts, new sandals, 10 pairs of pants, 5 bras, 12 pairs of socks, and 10 pairs of underwear within that budget and also definitely 100% ethically sourced, with free returns in case it doesn't fit? Or will I simply have to use the cheap stores?

I have about an hour to spend on this per week. Many mainstream stores doesn't make clothes in my size, and I am now in *year 5* of needing an electric wheelchair and being unable to get one; plus I live up a flight of stairs, so I can't even bring my walker out with me - so thrift shopping is not gonna cover this. Should I continue to wear small and tattered clothing until I have the time, money, and energy to meet your standards?

Did you know there are more empty homes in this country than homeless people? If I decide to splurge on only 100% ethically-produced products, and I can't make rent, and I become homeless, are YOU going to be there for me?? Or are you too busy litigating the endless tiny shames of poverty in your own community?

So I ask you again, are you SURE this is where you want to direct your punk energy?

Because there are a whole lot of rich people relying on people like us punching down and to the side instead of looking up to see where the money is going.

Because energy and time, as it turns out, are limited resources. And I would never expect you to secretly have more than you claim to have.