adderalpizza

[adderalpizza]

When I'm going band for band with somone and they mention they are a furry

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How it feels when alchohol starts tasting like extrovertedness

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I never uploaded my safety wizard costume cause I didn't get good photos so here's some from the work day!

And a special low quality recording!

I got several questions about why I wore a beard.

Because wizards have beards! XD

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Hello citizens of Tumblr

Technically speaking I've had this app for like almost a year but I have not actually used it but sadly due to some recent developments aka the tik tok ban I have been forced to migrate

I promise that I am able to behave myself as an undertale survivor I do understand Fandom culture unlike some other tik tok immigrants

Sincerely this has been an adderal post

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I was telling my coworker about my weekend and he was in hysterics listening to my cascade of bad and bizarre decisions. Since most of my coworkers know I have some small notoriety here he asked, “Did you put this on tumblr?”

“No! I’m too embarrassed!”

He exclaimed, “You write about your UTI’s and dildo bathrooms and this is too embarrassing!? Pillows??”

So fine. Here’s my embarrassing pillow story for your enjoyment.

I have been struggling desperately to find a new pillow that I love. My Tempurpedic Symphony was over ten years old and disgusting and I needed to stop sleeping on a biohazard so I finally tossed it. I tried to replace it with a new one but Tempurpedic changed the density and the new one is shit.

Thus began the saga of pillows. My parents got me a Purple Harmony. I liked it very much in store. At home it was too tall. I exchanged it for the low. This was too low. Frustrated I called my mom to ask if she liked hers to which she said no so I asked to give it another shot.

Enter, the villain. My mom’s house does not smell bad. But it does smell strongly. It’s hard to quantify and again it’s not a bad smell it is simply powerful and foreign. The pillow I took from her was saturated with what my beloved and I began to call Mom Smell.

The pillow still smelled like mom’s house weeks after coming into our home, even after being slept on and with protectors and pillow cases, the smell permeated. The pillow was still too tall. So then I entered an experimental phase. The purple pillow is made up of a latex insert with a gel grid around it on the outside. The inset was too tall, but I could use the gel grid external to wrap around a pillow that was too low!

I stuffed every conceivable iteration into the purple grid. I tried the new symphony. I tried existing pillows in my home. I even borrowed a pillow from the back room at work which wasn’t in inventory so it was okay and the worst part was that was the perfect height but too soft to stay that height and ended up disappointing me and being surreptitiously returned.

I then tried an IKEA pillow that a Reddit thread suggested was similar to the original symphony and was delighted to learn that it came in three pieces so the height could be adjusted. This kicked off a new round of experimentation after I realized the pillow itself was rock solid and hurt my ears. The 1” insert could be added to things to try to bring too low pillows to the correct height. I still need to try to return this pillow.

I then turned to my friend who also owns a mattress store and asked if he had a Technogel pillow to trade for one of the Purple pillows. He agreed and I ended up with a Technogel that’s 5.5” which is sliiiiightly too tall. Then I remembered:

During this frenzy of pillow madness I’d foisted two pillows onto my mom in exchange for the purple pillow and belatedly realized that one of them was a Technogel that had been too low. Now with an insert I realized it could be perfect. So I got the pillow back but I faced a problem.

The Mom Smell.

I didn’t want to wait two or more weeks for the smell to pass normally. So I got the pillow back and indeed, it had Mom Smell. I then remembered that my beloved had been gifted something called “pillow mist” from their employer ages ago that had a sage smell I liked.

So I took the pillow, sprayed the inside of the dryer and set it to low to coat the nice sage smell into the foam.

This was a mistake.

The dryer suddenly reeked of sage and musk, the heat having amplified the mist out of all proportion. The whole upstairs screamed the contents of the innocuous bottle and my head instantly hurt. Now not only did the pillow reek of a new louder smell, so did the dryer.

I looked around and spotted vinegar and decided to wipe down the dryer with it in hopes of wiping out the overpowering mist smell. Afterward it smelled like hot vinegar which was something of an improvement. I regarded the pillow and could practically see animated smell lines coming off it. I wiped that with vinegar too. Then it smelled like SAGE Vinegar Mom.

I finally collapsed in a puddle of defeat, having created and defeated several problems but ultimately having made a pillow much stinkier than before.

My beloved came home.

They listened to my tiny tale of woe with increasing amusement.

They asked, “Why didn’t you use the Febreze?”

“What? They don’t have Febreze that’s unscented, do they?”

My beloved walked into the bathroom and came out with a bottle of unscented Febreze that would have solved my problem instantly. I facepalmed hard enough to cause brain damage.

I sprayed the pillow. It sat for a few days, ready to join my parade of pillow experiments. The sage and vinegar are both thankfully gone.

It does however still smell faintly of my mother.

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New ship from our dnd campaign! Water genasi x camera man from skibidi toilet

He's a canon player character

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I have a theory

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Me and some other people in my dnd party created some tarrsque variants because we could

Waterrasque:basically just an aquatic tarrasque but it gets 2 breath weapons cold and lighting

Tarrascorch:the smallest of tge tarrasques they create deserts wherever they live in fire breath

Tarrasky(my fav):the largest and smartest of tge tarrasques they live in the sky only landing when they are about to die they carry civilizations of flying creatures on their back who in return feed them also they are the only good aligned ones they have a wind breath weapon which deals bludgeoning damage

Terrasque(get it cause earth terra):a tarrasque who lacks eyes and lives its whole live underground

And then we have the tarrkin

Imagine dragonborns but instead of being dragons they are tarrasques

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That one

"Which monsters actually taste good"

"Like... their cum? Their socks?"

"MONSTER"

"THE DRINK"

meme has changed me in a molecular level

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Artistic illustration of last night's dnd session with our level 4 party

(The guy giving a thumbs up is our wizard aka camera man from skibidi toilet)

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In today's session our level 4 party managed to fight and beat an adult black dragon by exploding its head from the inside

No mvps in this fight everyone was equally important

My aarakocra bard flew in the dragons head while and casted mage hand

Our wizard casted mage hand as well

He levitated himself to get closer to me and the dragon

On the mage hand he was holding our druid that wildshaped into a frog

He threw the druid and my bard watched him and shoved him up the dragon nostril

Druid wildshaped into an elephant

The dragon no longer has a head

Also our paladin helped immensely

Even tho he didn't do much in combat he knew the rules of the game

Which made so my bard didn't get 130 damage but instead got 9

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Gabriel picolo's tt art makes realize how lonely I am

No shade to their art this is actually positive

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"No one is impressed by your loud car"

That is entirely false, I am impressed.

How do you make it so loud? How are you not scarred? How do you manage to make a Honda civic threatening?

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You know your life is going well when your dnd party consists of

A god danm hippo that is so weak that his punches heal people

The camera man from skibidi toilet???

A bottle that's full of piss (it's a druid)

An owl bard that does bard things

A monk who's name none of us can pronounce

And an orc paladin

We spend an uncomfortable amount of time failing to get up from a literal pile of shit

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I know practically nothing about this app other than

Hard ass quotes come from here

It has practically shaped half the internet today along with 4chan (which I will never touch)

One of the founding fathers of Fandom culture

And yall like controversial opinions

I hope I am correct

I do not know how tags work here yet so I'll just put all my interests