alohasays - Tumblr blog

[alohasays]

5 posts!

[alohasays]

Sometimes we give up on love. Sometimes it's not all sunshine and rainbows. Sometimes it's just not what you want anymore because you are really tired of it. Sometimes it scares you to your core and makes you so sick that you become glad that you don't have it anymore. You feel safe alone. You don't seek anyone anymore to save you. Sometimes love is a terrible feeling which lingers the fear of abandonment. Love isn't what you want. You just wish to be free. Not to be scared to be not loved anymore. It's fine. You will grow out of it. Doesn't matter if it's yours or not. Sometimes it's just not yours to worry about anymore. It's like a good movie or a book you read and loved but eventually you will give it up someday and look for it after a while and it will not touch you the same way it did the first time. Travel back to the memory lane but never take the road back to it again. You will never feel the same way twice but if you do someday and you have the chance to save it. Save it :)

[alohasays]

This is about life. At some point you are going to accept the fact that people change. Your perspective of them may remain the same but they will change. You either live with them or you are going to leave them and that's alright. That's life my dear. You will change too. Change is inevitable. So just enjoy and laugh off the worries you have for them and for yourself too. You have one constant that is your true treasure of memories. That you can control and keep with you with all other uncertainties. Life is wonderful with every passing day. Learn to move on and you will truly feel every moment in your life. You are your own happy place. So keep your happy place safe and sound.

[alohasays]

I will remind you of these little flowers every time you see one.

[alohasays]

No matter how wonderful a childhood seems, it always leaves traumas you deal with your entire lifetime. Traumas that linger so deep that it stays with you and you pass that on to your children as well. It is not your fault when you go through it but when you grow up and choose to pass it on the same way it happened to you doesn't matter consciously or unconsciously and it affects your own child, then it's your fault. Silent treatment is what I am most scared of. As a child I often beg my mother to talk to me when she got mad and she would do it so often that I lost my own behavioural traits and do what soothes her so that she would talk to me. And as I grew up I have been so habitual to this that a slight change in someone's behaviour and their choice to not talk to me leads to my efforts to pursue them to talk. I become hopeless and I will start blaming myself for everything and it never felt abnormal to me because I was grown up with it. I tend to choose people who would give me the silent treatment and I will bow down so that it works out well in the end. Now that I see this pattern it tells me there's only one relation I couldn't escape that was with my mother. But if I follow this my entire life I will hurt myself more and pass on the same miserableness to my children as well. I won't be doing that. I choose to break this pattern and show every emotion and feeling to my loved ones.

[alohasays]

What I think of social media is an escape to your past. People you should have kept in your memories stay here and I don't understand the validation we put up to show our present timely. I don't see you today nor tomorrow but I wish to cross paths with you someday but here we are creating superficial scenarios everyday and the awareness of their present breaks it every time. You think I am ignorant, hyper independent and busy. I think you are all that. We just stare at our existence and wish everyday for miracles that we don't wish to play any part in. Maybe I have kept your one letter which makes no sense in the hope of a hopeless romantic episode for us to happen. Maybe you are waiting for a friend to go on adventures with, without any validation and judgement. So many maybes and your bubble of illusion will burst with their one post. I can never understand social media . I will still write you a letter if you write me one no matter how many years it has been. I will still bleed words in poetry rather than text you to catch up and then disappear.