alondr44

[alondr44]

did you have to tear me apart

and scatter me all over the place

to see that i wasn’t okay ?

-alondra

[alondr44]

-alondra

[alondr44]

I'm grateful I met you when I did,

Because who you were when I fell in love isn't who you are now

And nobody will get to experience the love you gave me,

Nobody will understand how you made me feel,

Nobody will understand why I still love you the way I do,

And even though I miss your presence, the memories that are engraved in my heart are enough to never forget about you.

-alondra

[alondr44]

Truth is

I didn't realize the person I love was starting to vanish

I wasn't prepared for your absence because I never thought you would leave.

And now I feel so out of place,

So alone

And I regret believing you when you told me I would always have you

because I should've known always wasn't forever.

And now I act as if I don't know you because the thought of what we were and what we could've been, reminds me that you are never coming back.

-alondra

[alondr44]

I shouldn't have to look this hard for someone who loves me

When I could just look in the mirror

-alondra

[alondr44]

Did the things I witness create an iron wall that separates me from my emotions

From my heart

Or was it too excruciating for my heart to handle the memories

[alondr44]

it’s not that i don’t want to waste my time

its just that,

the time i do have

is running out

[alondr44]

My mind is too cruel to me that it won’t even be kind to others

[alondr44]

i’d rather be the one suffering

as long as that means people i love don’t ever have to feel the way i do.

-alondra

[alondr44]

I’m always there for those who need someone,

but hopefully,

one day, someone acknowledges I’m worthy enough to have someone be there for me.

-alondra

[alondr44]

I've been contemplating whether or not

I should make amends with the door that reveals my past

The door that has all the memories people say you should cherish,

But are the memories I wish I could forget.

-alondra

[alondr44]

everyone always asks me why i go back to you,

and i don't know how to respond.

I'm okay with you hurting me

as long as it means I have you at the end of the day.

I'm okay with your words that cut like daggers and hurt like fire

because your hands running down my back

and your lips touching every inch of my skin, heal the wounds.

Everyone asks me why I go back to you, and its because

I'm just simply not capable of loving another soul the way I love you.

I'm not capable of forgiving someone other than you

And I'm not capable of forgetting you.

-alondra

[alondr44]

i knew things were not okay,

when the harder I tried smiling, the more I cried at night.

When outside was a battlefield, and my room was a fortress.

-alondra

[alondr44]

im standing in a room full of mirrors

unable to recognize the person i thought i was

because the person i really am is nowhere to be found.

-alondra

[alondr44]

You wanted to protect yourself

but didn't realize to protect yourself

you had to get rid of the things hurting you,

even if that meant looking at the mirror and saying goodbye

-alondra

[alondr44]

if you think about dying everyday,

you won’t ever live

-alondra

[alondr44]

You kicked me until my ribs started cracking

And I stopped moving

But that was my perception of love

-alondra