an-aro-without-an-ace

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Step One To Using This Blog Again, REVIVE LTAI (Let's Talk About It, a series where I grab a topic from the community and talk about it, WOOOO)

LTAI Part Four, Sex Negativity

So, unfortunately, there is an attitude floating around the aspec community that comes up from time to time that is extremely harmful. It's harmful not just to the community as a whole but specifically to alloaro and sex positive ace members. Sex negativity, let's talk about it.

What Is Sex Negativity?

Sex Negativity is the attitude or belief that sex is inherently bad or immoral. A very small but sometimes very vocal section of the community expresses this attitude. It's something I and many other alloaro's have faced when interacting with aspec spaces. Common sex negative things you might see are posts expressing how sex is disgusting, anyone who feels sexual attraction is bad or wrong, and just generally making fun of allosexual's and their attractions.

Sex Negativity Vs. Sex Repulsion

There is a very important distinction to make between Sex Negativity and Sex Repulsion. Sex Repulsion is an entirely valid feeling and should be just as accepted as Romance Repulsion in the aspec community. People who are sex repulsed don't impose their repulsion on others. To simplify my point a little, and make it clearer:

Sex Repulsion: "I am repulsed by sex personally, but have no issues regarding if others have sex or not" (Valid)

Sex Negativity: "I am repulsed by sex, and believe anyone who has sex is immoral or bad" (Not Valid)

Combating Sex Negativity In The Aspec Community

To keep things simple, heres a list of ways you can help combat and curb Sex Negativity within the aspec community, and make it a much more welcoming place for allosexual and sex positive members:

Calling out posts displaying Sex Negative attitudes

Uplifting alloaro and sex positive voices (within general aspec spaces)

Understanding that alloaro's and sex positive aces are an important part of the aspec community, and shouldn't be othered or pushed aside because of their relationship with sex

While obviously not a super comprehensive list, those are just a few little things that can be done to help curb this attitude in the community. The aspec community is for all aspec identities, from aces, to aroaces, to alloaros and every identity on the ace and aro spectrums respectively. We need to be mindful of that when expressing ourselves and our beliefs. We share this space with each other, and it should be welcoming to everyone within the bounds of the aspectrum. Peace out losers 🍍

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Guess who's back and reviving his alloaro blog bitches 😎🍍

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The colors fit well with the alloaro flag, and pineapples are by far the sexiest of fruits~ so yes, pineapples are our thing 🍍

I'm Just Like A Dad, Only I Actually Come Back With Milk 👀

And By Milk I Mean This Because I Never Actually Made One After Saying I Would,,,

(Credit goes to me, used Canva and the art of pineapples is obviously not mine cause I suck at art, just some clips from Canva 🍍)

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Questions For The Pineapple🍍

Pretty basic stuff, but do yall have any questions you'd like me to answer during my first Pineapple Speaks audio post thingy? I'll be posting it on the 8th and will likely do one for each Friday of the week with varying topics or focuses. Leave any questions in replies 👀👌

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The Pineapple Speaks 👀???

So with Norovember basically a month away but all my prepwork for it done, I wanna focus on making posts for October to fill in the gap. Im collecting ideas but one I wanna fly by yall is this.

Ive always wanted to start an alloaro based podcast. This is NOT that, because that project is still shelved for later when I have time 👀🍍

For now, what I wanna do is maybe about once a week I'm gonna record an audio based post. I'll figure out the logistics and what have you, but it'll be practice for the much larger podcast later! Plus, you'll finally get to hear what this living pineapple in a trenchcoat sounds like (if you were ever wondering idfk).

So yeah, once I figure out how I'm gonna do that, expect it within a week or two! Then if I like how it turns out, I'll make it a regular addition to my list of things I can toss in the air, catch, and post 👌

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I've only been in the community for just about a year so Im not technically a veteran yet, BUT OH BOY do I feel some sorta way when I meet new members. Esspecially when they ask for good representation for us in media or like book recommendations. Every time I just want to sit back and go "Heheh, imagine actually having our identities represented in media. Esspecially if if its anything other then aroace" but I don't wanna crush their lil hopes and dreams just yet 🍍

[an-aro-without-an-ace]

I've only been in the community for just about a year so Im not technically a veteran yet, BUT OH BOY do I feel some sorta way when I meet new members. Esspecially when they ask for good representation for us in media or like book recommendations. Every time I just want to sit back and go "Heheh, imagine actually having our identities represented in media. Esspecially if if its anything other then aroace" but I don't wanna crush their lil hopes and dreams just yet 🍍

[an-aro-without-an-ace]

Yo wouldn't it be crazy if I came up with some new prompts for Norovember 2021? Hahaha, yah bro like it'd be insane hahahah

.....Unless 👀

(Yes! I am doing a Norovember 2021! Probably gonna have a theme more towards arospec identities this time around to give some free rep out, however if you have any ideas or suggestions feel free to leave em down below and I might consider a few if I get stuck 👀👌 No Romo losers 🍍)

[an-aro-without-an-ace]

I'm Just Like A Dad, Only I Actually Come Back With Milk 👀

And By Milk I Mean This Because I Never Actually Made One After Saying I Would,,,

(Credit goes to me, used Canva and the art of pineapples is obviously not mine cause I suck at art, just some clips from Canva 🍍)

[an-aro-without-an-ace]

Aro Community Creator Interviews, Pt. 1

Howdy! Yes, Pride Month has summoned me from the abyss and I have returned with a handful of posts to start off this lovely time of year! Over the next few weeks Im going to be releasing 4 interviews I did of aromantic creators I enjoy within the community and get the word out! Happy Pride losers, and enjoy this first interview!

Interview One - Aro Memes

(aromantic_memes on instagram)

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Notes: I accidentally posted this, was gonna add my reply but shhhh I'll just do that via reblog. Also, sorry for such a late response!

OKAY SO howdy! Hi! Hello! Yes, thank you for this submission and idk why people do that either. I will always stand by my view that sex repulsion should be respected no matter what, but sex negativity should be challenged if you start imposing it onto other people.

As for the advice on alloaro rep, a good place to start would be to make sure you aren't writing yourself into a "but they can still love" hole. What I mean by that is, QPRs. QPRs are epic and cool, but in so many cases they just get used as replacements for romantic relationships. Not all aro's want QPRs and thats okay, so just make sure you aren't boxing yourself in.

For more alloaro specific advice, make sure you aren't framing their sexuality as a negative thing. You don't have to have them be extremely sexual or flirty, because an alloaro is just as sexual as the next guy, our identities dont just suddenly make us 10x as sexual as anyone else. And don't make their alloaro identity their whole character. Make it a highlight sure, but avoid them coming off as "Look at this representation I made" and leaving it there.

I hope your writing goes well! God knows It can be a pain trying to write consistently (I mean look at me xD I still have a novel to finish)! Thank you for thinking about us as well, as we need all the rep we can get now a days.

No Romo losers, have a pineapple 🍍 and I hope you have a lovely day!

preface: this is all over the place and i apologize you don’t have to reply if you dont wanna :)

hey i just wanna say that i saw your post containing a bit about the difference between sex-negativity & sex-repulsion/aversion and how a lot of repulsed/averse aces mix the two up. and as an ace repulsed to the point where even the implication of sex makes me wanna run in the opposite direction, i don’t get why they do that. why do they care so much about what other people do? i mean asking people not to talk about it around you? sure. telling OTHER PEOPLE what to do with their lives is tho so blatantly awful i dont know how it happens. like. literally. WHY DO YOU CARE SO MUCH?!?! WHY DO YOU CARE WHAT OTHER PEOPLE DO IN PRIVATE?!?!?! (<–directed at alloarophobes, not you)

anyways if you don’t mind, could you give me advice about something? i’m trying to become an author and i wanna represent under-represented groups in the aspec community :)

first, do you have any tips? like including aroallos/not being aroallophobic in my writing? without explicitly mentioning it, cause i’m a teen writing ya

second, if you don’t mind, could you give me some tips on improving my main idea? its kinda just focused on aphobia in general & is essentially set in a world where you must dance at this ball (you get put in when you’re 18) until you find a partner to whom you experience strong romantic and strong sexual attraction (this is determined via technology so you can’t lie your way out). then and only then you will be allowed to leave. there’s a group of people (to be named, but they’re the aspecs) who basically go and get the ones left, they arent exactly legal but like…they just do, including the mc. they’re all aspec, some in romantic relationships, some in sexual ones, some in qprs, some who dont have any, etc etc. i was thinking that the leader of the group could be aroallo and she’s in a sexual qpr (i was thinking??? im thinking that the mc could ask the leader, cause shes a little confused (remember where she grew up, romance=sex and sex=romance) and then the leader explains) with another aroallo. she would play a major role, and she and some other aspec characters help the mc accept herself (cause like…she obviously has troubles given just the setting) 

and anyways this was super long so i apologize, idk why im even messaging you haha sorry i’m probably just being annoying. anyways good luck with life :) (wow look at me im just so amazing with words arent i)

[an-aro-without-an-ace]

preface: this is all over the place and i apologize you don't have to reply if you dont wanna :)

hey i just wanna say that i saw your post containing a bit about the difference between sex-negativity & sex-repulsion/aversion and how a lot of repulsed/averse aces mix the two up. and as an ace repulsed to the point where even the implication of sex makes me wanna run in the opposite direction, i don't get why they do that. why do they care so much about what other people do? i mean asking people not to talk about it around you? sure. telling OTHER PEOPLE what to do with their lives is tho so blatantly awful i dont know how it happens. like. literally. WHY DO YOU CARE SO MUCH?!?! WHY DO YOU CARE WHAT OTHER PEOPLE DO IN PRIVATE?!?!?! (<--directed at alloarophobes, not you)

anyways if you don't mind, could you give me advice about something? i'm trying to become an author and i wanna represent under-represented groups in the aspec community :)

first, do you have any tips? like including aroallos/not being aroallophobic in my writing? without explicitly mentioning it, cause i'm a teen writing ya

second, if you don't mind, could you give me some tips on improving my main idea? its kinda just focused on aphobia in general & is essentially set in a world where you must dance at this ball (you get put in when you're 18) until you find a partner to whom you experience strong romantic and strong sexual attraction (this is determined via technology so you can't lie your way out). then and only then you will be allowed to leave. there's a group of people (to be named, but they're the aspecs) who basically go and get the ones left, they arent exactly legal but like...they just do, including the mc. they're all aspec, some in romantic relationships, some in sexual ones, some in qprs, some who dont have any, etc etc. i was thinking that the leader of the group could be aroallo and she's in a sexual qpr (i was thinking??? im thinking that the mc could ask the leader, cause shes a little confused (remember where she grew up, romance=sex and sex=romance) and then the leader explains) with another aroallo. she would play a major role, and she and some other aspec characters help the mc accept herself (cause like...she obviously has troubles given just the setting) 

and anyways this was super long so i apologize, idk why im even messaging you haha sorry i'm probably just being annoying. anyways good luck with life :) (wow look at me im just so amazing with words arent i)

[an-aro-without-an-ace]

Alloaro rights!

-A Friendly Neighborhood Aroace

Aroace rights! >:3

-A Friendly Neighborhood Alloaro

[an-aro-without-an-ace]

Whats this? A rush of motivation to actually start posting again? Oh my 👀

[an-aro-without-an-ace]

Btw, Baron ended up blocking me but also replied to my post. Cause they blocked me, I can't actually read their reply so if someone could screenshot it and send it to me that would be very much appreciated 💚

[an-aro-without-an-ace]

Public Service Announcement

This is a public service announcement for the alloaro community, the aspec community as a whole, and anyone else who see's this. I've another account to add to the open alloarophobe list! And yes, I would like them to see this so, @baronmaymystery have a gander!

Since I don't want to impose too much, I'm going to let baron's own words speak for them, and from that I'll break down whats wrong with what they're saying.

Lets begin shall we?

I will give it too you baron, at least you're honest! However, I think you missed something when you listed the things you are, let me help you! You're an alloarophobe! How is that since you never mentioned alloaro's? Well, lets break it down.

"Anyone whose opinion differs from this is an aphobe..." Being Sex Positive or Allosexual (Because thats what Allo stands for, lets no pretend they mean Allosexual Alloromantics) does not make you aphobic. Infact, if anything Sex Negativity is the aphobic attitude. Why? Well, lets talk about vocabulary for a bit here.

Aspec = Ace Spec and Aro Spec

Aphobe = Acephobic and Arophobic

An obvious point to make here, is that Sex Positivity cannot be aphobic because of the existence of alloaros (allosexual aromantics) as well as the existence of sex positive aces. Sex Negativity on the other hand? Sex Negativity is inherently aphobic, for the same reasons above. The existence of alloaros, sex positive aces, and even aromantics in general Non-sam or otherwise.

I would also like to make something clear that I often mention in my posts about Sex Negativity. There is a difference between being Sex Repulsed and Sex Negative. Sex Repulsion should ALWAYS be respected and there is absolutely nothing wrong with being uncomfortable with sex personally. However, it becomes a problem when you impose that on others.

Another point, If you're going to respond to this with "They are obviously a troll" or anything along those lines, a reminder. Troll or not, there are aces with this attitude and it is extremely harmful. Not only do attitudes like this make it easier for acephobes to rouse hatred towards asexuals, but they also further the sex negative attitude of the aspec community.

This is an admittedly rare (Because a vast majority of the ace community are lovely people who are not like this) but open expression of sex negativity however it is not the only expression of that attitude around here. The unspoken caution around talking about sex and sexual attraction in the aspec community puts pressure on alloaro's to put their allosexual aside. Its not always as boisterous as this, but its there.

A reminder, that when you use the word allo in a negative light you are, inadvertently or not, including alloaro's and Non-sam Aro's. Allo stands for Allosexual, and that covers us. Unless you specify beforehand, allo does not mean Allosexual Alloromantics.

Final notes:

Sex Positive Aces are not fakers or imposters

Sex Negativity is harmful to the aspec community and I'm tired of people saying is not

Baron is an 🍍Alloarophobe🍍

There is nothing wrong with being Allosexual and you are not being aphobic simply for being Allosexual or Sex Positive

No romo losers, didn't want to return with this post but I just couldn't help myself~ and Baron, if you get this far without blocking me first, have a pineapple! Its good for your health ;3 🍍

[an-aro-without-an-ace]

Public Service Announcement

This is a public service announcement for the alloaro community, the aspec community as a whole, and anyone else who see's this. I've another account to add to the open alloarophobe list! And yes, I would like them to see this so, @baronmaymystery have a gander!

Since I don't want to impose too much, I'm going to let baron's own words speak for them, and from that I'll break down whats wrong with what they're saying.

Lets begin shall we?

I will give it too you baron, at least you're honest! However, I think you missed something when you listed the things you are, let me help you! You're an alloarophobe! How is that since you never mentioned alloaro's? Well, lets break it down.

"Anyone whose opinion differs from this is an aphobe..." Being Sex Positive or Allosexual (Because thats what Allo stands for, lets no pretend they mean Allosexual Alloromantics) does not make you aphobic. Infact, if anything Sex Negativity is the aphobic attitude. Why? Well, lets talk about vocabulary for a bit here.

Aspec = Ace Spec and Aro Spec

Aphobe = Acephobic and Arophobic

An obvious point to make here, is that Sex Positivity cannot be aphobic because of the existence of alloaros (allosexual aromantics) as well as the existence of sex positive aces. Sex Negativity on the other hand? Sex Negativity is inherently aphobic, for the same reasons above. The existence of alloaros, sex positive aces, and even aromantics in general Non-sam or otherwise.

I would also like to make something clear that I often mention in my posts about Sex Negativity. There is a difference between being Sex Repulsed and Sex Negative. Sex Repulsion should ALWAYS be respected and there is absolutely nothing wrong with being uncomfortable with sex personally. However, it becomes a problem when you impose that on others.

Another point, If you're going to respond to this with "They are obviously a troll" or anything along those lines, a reminder. Troll or not, there are aces with this attitude and it is extremely harmful. Not only do attitudes like this make it easier for acephobes to rouse hatred towards asexuals, but they also further the sex negative attitude of the aspec community.

This is an admittedly rare (Because a vast majority of the ace community are lovely people who are not like this) but open expression of sex negativity however it is not the only expression of that attitude around here. The unspoken caution around talking about sex and sexual attraction in the aspec community puts pressure on alloaro's to put their allosexual aside. Its not always as boisterous as this, but its there.

A reminder, that when you use the word allo in a negative light you are, inadvertently or not, including alloaro's and Non-sam Aro's. Allo stands for Allosexual, and that covers us. Unless you specify beforehand, allo does not mean Allosexual Alloromantics.

Final notes:

Sex Positive Aces are not fakers or imposters

Sex Negativity is harmful to the aspec community and I'm tired of people saying is not

Baron is an 🍍Alloarophobe🍍

There is nothing wrong with being Allosexual and you are not being aphobic simply for being Allosexual or Sex Positive

No romo losers, didn't want to return with this post but I just couldn't help myself~ and Baron, if you get this far without blocking me first, have a pineapple! Its good for your health ;3 🍍