angerman - Tumblr blog

[angerman]

When parents are sleep deprived, stressed and overwhelmed it’s a lot harder to keep compassion, empathy and an open heart available to us. Parent self care is such an important short and long term difference maker. Parent self care allows us to stay more connected to the child within us and the child in front of us. #compassion #parenting #healthyparenting #burnout https://www.instagram.com/p/CQT7VOGMw45/?utm_medium=tumblr

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Acknowledging how trauma sits in the body, how our body reacts to certain triggers, by shutting down or by overreacting is necessary if we want to alter its trajectory. Doing this without judgement is not easy, especially if we come from a family that refuses to talk reasonably about the issues when they arise. Our work on trauma is not dependent on our birth family dealing with any of it. It is preferable that they join us in facing the trauma, but not necessary. We do have to get to know the trauma intimately, not exactly what happened, but how it impacts our bodies and our thoughts today. Having a guide who has a deep understanding of this work is important. www.angerman.ca @mooseangermanagement #trauma #traumarecovery #birthtraumarecovery #mensmentalhealth https://www.instagram.com/p/CQTvIvVMjoQ/?utm_medium=tumblr

[angerman]

Instead of berating, judging, and criticizing ourselves, when we use self-compassion we treat ourselves in a caring, kind, understanding and loving manner. Beating ourselves up emotionally, according to the science, is not in our best interest. People who practice self compassion do better in life. This doesn’t mean giving up on ambition, or letting everything slide. It means that we forgive ourselves and acknowledge our humanity. This creates more space for curiosity so that we can learn from our mistakes, investigate our shadow, our shame, and grow, step into more maturity and be better people. When we practice self-compassion we get better at being compassionate to others. #compassion #selfcompassion #compassionate #forgiveyourself https://www.instagram.com/p/CQRMRFYskpC/?utm_medium=tumblr

[angerman]

So, I turned 60 yesterday. I have steadily improved my self care through the pandemic. I’ve meditated for decades, but I’ve overworked. Self care won’t make up for over working, or so I found out. In fact, despite regular healthy exercise, meditation, and mostly moderation in eating and drinking, my body spoke out loudly, and I didn’t hear the messages properly. Due to this my testosterone levels dropped and my body weakened and my brain didn’t perform as well. Through seeking help from a naturopath, Chiro and acupuncturist and therapist, among other supports, especially my amazing partner, Alejandra, @healinganger, my body is the strongest its been in years, and my brain health feels better too. Sixty feels good, especially when paddle boarding on Sasamat Lake here. Thank you Alejandra for the photo. #relaxation #selfcare #selfcaretips #selflove (at Sasamat Lake) https://www.instagram.com/p/CQPHvNeM241/?utm_medium=tumblr

[angerman]

I was taught that feeling sad wasn’t worth it growing up, as if I could just negate the feeling and it would go away. My mom died very suddenly when I was 18 years old. My two brothers, my dad, and I just never spoke about it and didn’t even have a funeral. It’s almost like it didn’t happen. But it did. That was from a father who had three wives die(one at a time), and didn’t shed a tear, at least not for many years until they all came out at once quite unexpectedly. I learned, and continue to practice noticing the sensations in my body and trying to decipher what emotion they are connected to. I still can feel the emotion around my mom, the love, the fear, the grief, 42 years later. In many respects this unhealthy experience related to my family propelled me into a career that involves speaking repeatedly about things that people don’t usually speak about. My birth family hasn’t changed, but I have. And, my mom appreciates it, I’m sure. #socialdistancing #sadness #crying #happiness https://www.instagram.com/p/CQOtCegMs6R/?utm_medium=tumblr

[angerman]

Healthy, or real power, is about consciously choosing how we act in the world rather than reacting. Clearly we don’t have this totally down. Becoming more aware of the part of us that wants to control others, and using that energy to focus on our own challenges is where the real power lies. Fortunately, there is never an end to this quest for self awareness, and self knowledge. I turned 60 yesterday and am comfortable, most of the time, with the continued learning. I am taking Somatic Experiencing Training (a 3 year program), seeing a therapist, an acupuncturist, a chiropractor, a naturopath, and have the good fortune to be challenged by them all. The ones I learn the most from though are my fabulous partner, Alejandra, @healinganger who I’m eternally grateful for and my kids, Delilah and Oliver. Life is good. #realpower #healthypower #powerful #selfcontrol (at Vancouver - Unceeded Musqueam, Squamish and Tsleil-Waututh Territory) https://www.instagram.com/p/CQOlziYMBIb/?utm_medium=tumblr

[angerman]

Anger can cover up so much. When anger is expressed poorly it subverts other emotions, leaving us bereft of their power. When we connect with the child in us who is deathly afraid of being alone, we can reparent ourselves and honestly express what is going on within us. This takes a lot of courage, especially if we grew up learning not to talk about our inner world. That was true for me. May you connect ever deeper with what lies within. #anger #tobeseen #tobevalued #tobeloved #beingseen https://www.instagram.com/p/CQL8B-MseN_/?utm_medium=tumblr

[angerman]

Family members can be extremely difficult to deal with at times. Sometimes we have to put up healthy boundaries and even not see them, block them out of our lives. Even then, we can still have love for them, and wish them the best. It is the actions that we dislike, or even hate, not the person. Compassion and healthy boundaries can co-exist. #healthyboundaries #compassion #trauma #familyhistory https://www.instagram.com/p/CQK2dwhMj6K/?utm_medium=tumblr

[angerman]

If one person starts to act in an egocentric, immature, reactive manner it is a strong invitation for us to join them and escalate too. We don’t have to. It takes us being grounded, and connected solidly to the adult in us and a caring awareness of that hurt inner child. That hurt inner child in us is the one that wants to fly into dramatics. We need to care for that young hurt part in us, so that it doesn’t overwhelm us with emotion. When that happens we lose ourselves and act like a big baby. Oh yes, I have followed that reactive path many times in my life. I’m still learning just like everyone else. And sometimes that reactive part of you freezes and looks totally fine on the outside, but you dig a little and things get hairy. #anger #innerchild #extreme #dramatic #bigbaby https://www.instagram.com/p/CQJ8JuXsS3q/?utm_medium=tumblr

[angerman]

When someone calls the Angerman it is often because they forgot about or got distracted from their love, from their heart, and their ability to feel and see what really matters to them. A big part of anger management is, with examples, asking the person what they need to do to get back there and what is holding them back. The thousands of stories people have told me about how they slowed things down, brought their heart rate down, and dramatically deepened their relationships with those they love has energized and inspired me over the last 26 years of running Moose Anger Management. www.angerman.online. #gratitude #angermanagement #inspirationquotes #anger https://www.instagram.com/p/CQJvkLJM5lO/?utm_medium=tumblr

[angerman]

Marc-Henri Sandoz Paradella is a courageous man who spent 15 years in an Evangelical church, before taking the courage to question and confront the absolute beliefs in and around him. What he discovered was a toxic relationship to Jesus. He wrote this book about his journey. He is a man who has looked into the shadows, opened himself up to become a meditation teacher and counsellor. He knows what it means to be shunned for questioning the status quo. I had the good fortune to meet Marc-Henri and his wonderful partner Evelise several years ago just as the seeds for writing this book began to grow. It is an inspiring read. @toxicjesusthebook @eveliseparadella @marchenrisandoz @healinganger #spiritualbypassing #evangelical #courage #faith https://www.instagram.com/p/CQJtl5EsOLQ/?utm_medium=tumblr

[angerman]

Many of us grew up learning that power is about changing others or changing situations by forcing things or manipulating things. Many of us learned that power equals power over others. Real, authentic power is having power over ourselves. Consciously choosing how to respond in really difficult situations is where the real power lies. This is healthy heart-connected wise power. There is always more to learn about this as life throws us new and unexpected triggers. #healthypower #powerfulquotes #powerful #powerfulwords https://www.instagram.com/p/CQJHSipM7pH/?utm_medium=tumblr

[angerman]

From where and when did the pain come from? It is only when we can locate the pain in the body, with specifics, which typically include size, shape, images, colour and texture that history can help us. If we know the time and place we can work with that as well. The most important part is where it exists in the body. More information isn’t necessary but it can help. That’s what we can work with. If we can work with what is underlying the addiction, success is more likely. #addiction #addictions #pain #addictionquotes #gabormate https://www.instagram.com/p/CQHquDWMhdu/?utm_medium=tumblr

[angerman]

For anyone who wants to be more connected to their heart when anger arises. Life-Changing Online Anger Management Groups for Men Start June 23 and July 13 and July 5 for women. Join us! www.angerman.online and www.healinganger.ca for women. #anger #angermanagement #onlinegroups #heart https://www.instagram.com/p/CQHBGXWsc5Q/?utm_medium=tumblr

[angerman]

On the third session of our groups we talk about all the messages people get growing up that leave them feeling not good enough and how these show up as our inner critic. We talk about how that inner critic shames us. We spend quite a lot of time talking about toxic and healthy shame. Brene Brown uses the terms shame (toxic) and guilt (healthy). We talk about how you can do something toxic or healthy with every emotion. We also discuss how toxic shame runs through every family history. Bringing that darkness into the light must be done wisely, intentionally. It is a challenging experience for most group members, and can be transformational. #shadowwork #shadowworker #shame #toxicrelationships https://www.instagram.com/p/CQGxVooMcAF/?utm_medium=tumblr

[angerman]

I can be sad and feel solid knowing that my dignity is intact. Boundaries can be healthy and bring about loss and sadness. Even if we love family members, it’s sometimes best to take an extended break from the toxicity. #healthyboundaries #boundaries #sadness #loss https://www.instagram.com/p/CQE7b7fMnRR/?utm_medium=tumblr

[angerman]

As Mark Wolynn points out, and he explains it with lots of science behind it, we can carry trauma from our parents and/or grandparents in our DNA, even without knowing the story. If we do know our family history that can benefit us as far as how we work with the trauma in our bodies. He did a podcast on Sounds True with Tami Simon if you are interested in more. #markwolynn #trauma #intergenerationaltrauma #traumahealing https://www.instagram.com/p/CQEMU5WMjFL/?utm_medium=tumblr