animebedazzler - Tumblr blog

[animebedazzler]

Person, A: What if the reason I want to have someone with me when I go places isn't because of social anxiety but because in a past life, I needed an escort to accompany me whenever I go places???

Person, B: ....

Person,A: So do you want to come with me and get some chik filia?

Person, B, offering their elbow: M'lady

[animebedazzler]

Mother Nature, probably: It's the most wonderful time of the month

Someone screaming in the back ground: It's the most wonderful time of the year!!!

[animebedazzler]

Person A: "It's a difficult responsibility "🎶

Person B: "To crush everyone's hopes and dreams"

[animebedazzler]

Otp: *get married at the court house

Judge: bring out the dancing lobsters!

[animebedazzler]

# 49

Persona A: Know what they call a witch who brews potions in a toilet?

Person B: No, what?

Person A: A shitty witch

[animebedazzler]

Bait #48

Person A: We need to go pick up my ex

Person B and Person C : Why is your ex coming along?

Person A: I like you guys too much to be bait

[animebedazzler]

#47--Tis the season

Person A and B are decorating a gingerbread house together.

Person A, putting the finishing touches on it: There, all done!

Person B, body slams it.

Person A: this is why we can't have nice things.

[animebedazzler]

# 46--Staying Alive

Person A: You're wearing all black. Did you go to a funeral or something?

Person B: I'm mourning the loss of my virginity

Person A: Person C is also wearing black...OMG WAIT.

[animebedazzler]

Sorting socks #45

Person A and B are sorting socks

Person A: Gryffindor!

Person B: Why can't we sort socks the normal way?

[animebedazzler]

*in spongebobs voice* I need it #44

Person A: I’m going to the store, does anyone need anything?

*music starts up and Person B slides on the floor

Person B: I NEED A HERO! IM HOLDING OUT FOR A HERO UNTIL THE MORNING LIGHT

Person A, slams the door leaving.

[animebedazzler]

Got that battery life #43

Persona A: I’m in the 1% of the population!

Person B: Just because your phone is at 1% doesn’t mean you are

[animebedazzler]

I look like a raccoon# 42

Persona A: I have designer bags

Person B: You do?

Person A: Under my eyes

Pers B: Looks more like a raccoon to me.

[animebedazzler]

Well...it’s true #41

Person A: Y’know, someone told me to give my 100% in everything I do and I’m going to give my 100% to you.

Person B: Give your 100% in everything, except when donating blood.

[animebedazzler]

Sounds convincing #40

Cop: Eyewitnesses saw you two in the forest the time we believe the forest fire began. Did you two start the fire?

Person A & B, in unison: no.

Cop: An eyewitness heard one of you go,” We didn’t start the fire it was always burning since the world was turning.”

Person A, turns to look at Person B

Person B: It was an opportunity and I took it!

[animebedazzler]

What a song #39

Person A: Thank you, Mucinex

Person B: “Thank you, next.”

Person A: I thought what we had was special!

Person B: No, “thank you, next” is the correct song lyrics.

[animebedazzler]

The red string of fate#38

Person A: It is believed, that there is a red invisible string on a persons pinky finger that is connected to their soul mate. And I believe it’s you (:

Person B: So essentially, if I don’t have my pinky finger then I don’t have a soul mate?

Person A: I just told you that you are my soul mate and that’s what you’re worried about? You have all five fingers. This should not be a concern of yours!!!!

[animebedazzler]

The more you know #37

Person A: How do you say “yeehaw” in Spanish?

Person B, dead ass looks them in the eye: Yeehaw.