anonao3author

[anonao3author]

Batman, at a League meeting: This is confidential information. This cannot, under any circumstances, leave this room. Ever.

Batman at the Batcave, ripping off his cowl: Oh, orphans, we're really in it now.

[anonao3author]

👁️👁️

?

(justice league of america 2008, #5)

[anonao3author]

Give me a heartwarming Christmas movie about Satan traveling around the world every Christmas to deliver presents to all the young kids and kids with learning disorders and disabilities who misspell “Santa” on their Christmas letters every year

[anonao3author]

I THINK I FOUND THE POST

To the person who made a post years ago about a dyslexic kid writing a letter to Santa, but he misspells it so it goes to Satan instead, I just wanted to let you know that Hollywood STOLE YOUR IDEA and cast JACK BLACK AS SATAN!

[anonao3author]

my step dad was telling me about this new xmas movie and im like "cool! whats it about!!"

and he starts like "this dyslexic kid writes to satan instead of santa"

and i had to physically stop myself from screaming "THATS A FUCKING TUMBLR POST!!!!!!!!!!!!"

[anonao3author]

Bruce Wayne is the rare human who could probably withstand almost all modes of torture (and probably has experienced most) while still being uniquely vulnerable to one form of torture, AKA being forced to witness his kids getting tortured instead. Waterboarding? Sure, that’s a walk in the park. Sitting next to Robin!Dick when he’s getting waterboarded? Instant crash out.

[anonao3author]

fave comment of the day…so real though, WHY do they keep doing this

[anonao3author]

who has a total ban from the kitchen, a partial ban and who is allowed?

(writing a fic, its a passing line but im stucked bc im getting second thoughts every time i place a character in a category, thank you very much)

Allowed:

Alfred, by default

Dick, because he canonically can cook

Luke, because he buys the best ingredients

Bette, because she's hardly ever there

Kate, because she doesn't care enough to use it

Barbara, because she can work the smart fridge

Cullen, because he needs it emotionally

Duke, because he hasn't done anything yet

Conditionally allowed:

Jason, if he doesn't order takeout and claim credit for making it like he would in canon

Helena, if she doesn't launch into a food history lecture

Damian, if he needs a vegetarian snack

Steph, if she doesn't openly one-up Alfred's waffles

Carrie, if she doesn't recreate the candy spaghetti from Elf

Harper, to fix the oven

Banned:

Cass, for her mega-pie

Tim, for telling his friends to help themselves

Bruce, to comply with the Geneva Conventions

Verdict's still out:

Selina, because her food is great but she uses Ivy's mutant produce

[anonao3author]

the people wanted more youtube worldbuilding ^^

previous post

[anonao3author]

so tired of seeing "criticism welcome :)" on works where the authors are CLEARLY proud of their work but think people are going to hate it so they welcome the haters and make them feel safe. less of that in 2025 please. start saying "im actually really proud of this and dont want to hear any criticism". you can say it. i love you and your work is amazing.

[anonao3author]

wfa was thinking specifically of me when they made this panel actually

[anonao3author]

episode 66 of wfa my beloved <3

[anonao3author]

It’s kinda insane that Bruce Wayne has so many kids(biological and adopted! OMG DC GIVE HIM A BREAK! (At least he has enough money to pay child support)

[anonao3author]

this is my son i love him

[anonao3author]

my brain knows that Cassandra Cain should hate Jason Todd and literally everything about him, from his hair to his morals to his attitude,

but my heart says they're literally best friends

[anonao3author]

I think becoming grandpa would cure bruce of the disease of being batman and he would suddenly be normal however none of his kids should ever have kids so this will never happen.

[anonao3author]

untitled fic, ch 1 - i've done a lotta things

—

"We know what you did." Superman loomed over Red Hood, every word a booming threat that if he didn't cooperate, it'd be more than his helmet smashed to pieces.

"I've done a lotta things," Red Hood said. "Ya gotta be more specific."

—

"I'm almost there, Roy, there's no need to get pissy." Jason flipped off the old woman he just passed, the one who'd been doing twenty under the speed limit since Pike Ave.

On the other end of the phone, Roy sighed. "I know, Jay-" Jason adjusted the phone, speeding up on his bike- "-worry about you. Bikers get in three times more accidents than cars. Three times!"

"Maybe 'cause their boyfriends won't stop nagging them while they're tryna-" he swerved around a pedestrian who should not have been crossing there, holy f- "-drive!"

—

His reintegration into the Batfamily had been... a little rocky, mainly on account of the whole "trying to kill Tim thing", which he would admit was definitely his fault.

—

Getting to hang out with Damian again was a plus, too. He'd met the little shit in the LOA, and they actually hit it off pretty well, in his opinion. Given, he had no idea what an actual sibling relationship was supposed to be like, but stabbing was probably normal.

All in all, the Wayne's, being one of them? It wasn't that bad.

—

It had seemed impossible, for a while.

He was finally getting his life back together.

He stepped out onto the road.

Someone stopped him.

He looked up, and was greeted with an (unfortunately) familiar face. Oliver Queen, Green Arrow, Roy's father. He was in his full Emerald Archer get-up, little green booties and all.

—

Hal slammed his hands down on the table, leaning towards Red Hood. "What do you need the money for, Hood?" He growled.

"Raising children isn't cheap, dickshit, have you seen the price of fucking sheet metal these days?"

"What does... what does sheet metal have to do with raising kids?" Clark asked, puzzled.

"My son is a picky eater."

—

Decided to try my hand at the "Batfamily meets the Justice League" trope, filled to the brim with my own headcanons and favourite dynamics. This fic is entirely self indulgent, but I'm gonna post it anyways because I'm so bored.

If you liked these snippets, you will probably like the fic (or at least the first chapter). I tried to pick out the funniest bits of the 4k ish words I wrote.

First chapter will hopefully be posted before January next year