anxiousgaygeek

[anxiousgaygeek]

"The Sex Lives Of College Girls" Incorrect Quotes But It's Things That My Friends Have Said

Kimberly: You gave someone chlamydia?! Leighton: I gave someone the night of their life. Chlamydia was an added bonus.

Alicia: Would you still love me if I was a worm? Leighton: No. But I wouldn't stomp on you as hard to kill you with my shoe.

Whitney: *with Bela slung over her back like a potato sack* I hope that you realize that what you just did was the epitome of stupid? Bela: Yes, but it was also funny. And at the end of the day, I think that wins!

Ginger: I want to be healthy! Let me be healthy! Let me be a health bitch!

Tova: Why do I always have to be the rational one with you people?Kimberly: Because nobody listens to me. Keep up.

Alicia: I love that I hated you when we first met. But now we're besties! Nico: You hated me-

Ginger: I feel unsafe. Leighton: And I feel hungover but I'm not complaining!

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Leighton: *texting Alicia* Alicia, come home, I need you.

*Alicia rushes through the door 20 minutes later*

Alicia: What’s wrong?! What happened?! Are you alright?!

Leighton: *launches herself at Alicia* I just wanted a hug!

[anxiousgaygeek]

Leighton: I feel like I stick out like a sore thumb.

Alicia: You might be a little overdressed for crowd recon.

Leighton: Seriously?!

Alicia: Hey, you’re definitely the most stylish undercover agent here!

Leighton: You were standing right there when I got dressed this morning!

Alicia: Mmhm, and you were so excited to match your belt to your boots.

[anxiousgaygeek]

Couch

Bela: Were you two  *mashes hands together aggressively* on the couch and then *makes explosion noise* cause, that’s why they make lube.

Alicia: That’s not why they make lube.

Bela: Agree to disagree.

[anxiousgaygeek]

Thoughts On Finch

Okay Legacies fandom, am I the oly one confused as to why people hate finch so much? Cause I truly don’t understand whats so bad about her! Honestly, after so much of Josie getting completly screwed over in the relationship department, Finch is kind of a blessing! Plus she’s really sweet and is willing to put up with Lizzie’s insanity so she’s passed the test! I’m a proud posie shipper but I can definately see Finch and Josie being endgame!

[anxiousgaygeek]

Greek Mythology as John Mulaney Quotes Pt. 2

Hercules: None of us really know our fathers. 

Achilles: But sometimes he would be gay.

Paris: Hey, do you want me to kill that guy for you?

Orpheus: And I also don’t want me to be doing what I’m doing!

Persephone: “Okay, when you get kidnapped…” Not if, when. 

Theseus: Hey, has anyone…Has anyone heard–” [imitates clopping hooves] 

Prometheus: I don’t look older, I just look worse.

Eris: You remember being 12, when you’re like, “No one look at me or I’ll kill myself.”

[anxiousgaygeek]

Greek Mythology As John Mulaney Quotes: Part 1

Aphrodite: Aw, I love how you just wear anything!

Hephaestus: My wife is a bitch and I like her so much!

Ares: Stay down on the ground, you mother fucker!

Dionysus: And apparently I grabbed it, drank all of it, and said, "It's perfume." 

Artemis: Above perv is a bozo. A bozo is any man who cheats on his wife. 

Hermes: Do my friends hate me, or do I just need to go to sleep?

Zeus: I’m so horny and angry all the time!

Hera: Euch! This ought to be good.

Apollo: I have a girlfriend now, uh, myself, which is weird because I'm probably gay based on the way I act and behave.

Hestia: Hey you could pour soup in my lap and I’ll probably apologize to you!

Athena: It’s a grid system, motherfucker! Where you at? 24th and 5th? Where you wanna go? 35th and 6th? 11 up and 1 over, you simple bitch!!

Hades: You have the moral backbone of a chocolate eclair.

Poseidon: Brush your teeth. Now boom, orange juice, that’s life!

Demeter: I know! I’ll keep all my emotions right here, and then one day, I’ll die!

[anxiousgaygeek]

Lizzie As A Mom

Lizzie: Kids, grab your shit we’re leaving! Penelope grab your tablet I don’t want you talking to me. Good morning Landon! Love what you’ve done with the tulips… fucking bitch. Go get em MG you’re mama’s little champ! Oh no Josie he sucks.

[anxiousgaygeek]

Fatin And Leah: Endgame?

Leah to Fatin: I have feelings for you.

Leah: I’m not telling you which ones

[anxiousgaygeek]

Fatin Being... Well, Fatin

Fatin: Look in that mirror. I see a strong, confident, beautiful young lady.

Shelby: *smiles*

Fatin : Oh look, you’re here too!

[anxiousgaygeek]

Cruel World

Dot: Good morning, cruel world.

Nora: Don’t you mean goodbye cruel world?

Dot: Nope. This world may be cruel but I’m still kicking.

[anxiousgaygeek]

Lizzie Gets Arrested

Police Officer: You have the right to remain silent.

Lizzie: Yes but do I have the ability?

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Sneezing

Hope: *sneezes* 

Lizzie: Bless you.

Josie: *sneezes* 

Lizzie: Oh my god, Jo! Are you sick?!

Penelope: *sneezes*

Lizzie: Jo, say bless you to Satan for me.

Landon: *sneezes*

Lizzie: Oh my god can you actually shut the fuck up for once in you unfortionately regenertating life?

[anxiousgaygeek]

Alaric: *in an interview* My daughters could never disappoint me.

Lizzie: *destroys property during a meltdown*

Josie: *commits arson in her spare time*

Alaric: Can I change my answer?

[anxiousgaygeek]

Family Game Night At The Homestead

Waverly: I HATE YOU!!!!!

Jeremy: OH, WELL NEXT TIME DON'T STEAL MY MONOPOLY!!!

Robin: Waverly, give Jeremy your $200. You landed on his property.

Waverly: No, HE’S IN JAIL! I'm not gonna give money to a criminal. 

Jeremy: That's not how you PLAY!!!!

Nicole: Wynonna, why is Waverly screaming?

Waverly: Shut the fuck up Nicole, You don't get to talk after stealing my LAST RAILROAD!

Wynonna: I WISH I WAS NEVER BORN!!!

Nedley: ME TOO! YOU THINK I WANTED THIS!? 

Waverly: AaAAAaaA!!!!!

[anxiousgaygeek]

Penelope and Lizzie Banter

Penelope: You’re blocking the view.

Lizzie: I AM the view.

[anxiousgaygeek]

Kaleb and MG: The Bromance We Didn’t Know We Needed

MG: *gets a papercut*

Kaleb: Hasn’t he been through enough?!