ardyforshort

[ardyforshort]

stop showing me jealous aldo bellini or jealous vincent benitez, my beloved cardinal thomas lawrence has TWO hands

[ardyforshort]

he would not fucking say that but it’s he would not fucking talk about his queer identity like he was reading out of a college campus lgbt center brochure

[ardyforshort]

SABBADIN HOURS

if I was the gay son of my big reputation christian senator father growing up amidst homophobia, part of it secular, part of it derived from the traditionally catholic society in which I'm expected to excel at as a straight italian man and I was aware I would never be able to carry the political legacy my father was obsessed with, I would have to compensate for this vulnerable position by following in the footsteps of several generations of gay men who chose the priesthood to regain autonomy over their gay lives, doubling on it by becoming a franciscan, both to show the intensity of my commitment to the alternative path I had to take and as a direct response to my upper class upbringing, at the same time I was seeing that the regain of gay autonomy didn't feel enough when one still had to live in secret and keep a low-profile among the blatant hypocrisy of my institution's grand gay subculture and that I, like many of my peers, saw that amidst vatican politics the search for gay autonomy, an ego booster to compensate for the secret life, often was the search for power also, which I understood well due to being so close to it and in my own fine line of intense humility, liberal politics and thirst for significance, thrived in becoming the archbishop of milan and a cardinal while keeping the bitterness over never feeling this path had been enough, this high position not enough to match the political dream left behind in my father's coffin, seeing too clearly the vatican hypocrisy and being angry at the gay homophobes standing next to me, convincing myself I was doing enough good because I wasn't like them and supported a man I admired, more than I ever admired my father even, until my grand moment of relevance came in the form of a death announcement, a thought I had entertained before, and being secretary of state, the next goal that surely would make me feel enough and significant this time, the same way I thought all the others before would, had never been so close so it was time to use all I had learned from my father, which then turned out to be an embarrasing little amount because I never had the practical experience in politics, I just thought I knew how to do it and was so delighted to be able to do it, so eager to get the job for the man I was a praetorian guard to and for myself, so caring for the liberal values within the church I dedicated my life to and unable to shake my sassiness and pretentious attitude at the same time, only to face the underwhelming first ballot and panic at the thought of not getting the position after all, insist too much on my man only for him to reach his breaking point and scold me in the personal way he of course would be able to do, making me look like a bratty boy sitting with arms crossed in the school bus, and then finally facing reality, temporarily abandon my own values, pathetically trying to get a high position by getting coffee for the ridiculous, pompous centrist I loathe just to make a point for going against the traditionalists and tell my father, in my head, tell myself, I made it, I'm powerful, I'm no longer a dissappointment, I'm a gay man and I'm powerful, I can leave a significant mark in this world, I can have my own legacy, I can do both, I can.

but this isn't me. this is my good friend giulio sabbadin. he told me so.

[ardyforshort]

Doing nice things for people you like is part of normal human relationships, trying to primary-school star-chart someone into liking you by way of rewarding "good behaviour" with peanut M&Ms is psychopath level shit. I mean if you're going to do that use the peanut butter ones, for starters. But like I said I don't think that's what's happening here. I think that man sounds like a lot of effort and dumping him and getting an actual dog instead would be so much more rewarding for this lady. The things straight people will do instead of actually communicating with one another.

sickens me to my stomach. how dare this guy get to live my dream.

[ardyforshort]

"I asked ChatGPT--"

Yeah well, I asked the wasps nest in my attic. It sang its answer so beautifully to me, but I am so very afraid of it. Perhaps it will soothe my itching soul...

[ardyforshort]

[ardyforshort]

I mean the other reading I can see is that she's trying to operant-condition him into liking her, which is morally pretty dicey. Either way there's something deeply messed up going on in this relationship.

sickens me to my stomach. how dare this guy get to live my dream.

[ardyforshort]

In Prince's funky name, amen.

[ardyforshort]

Everyone's like "The new Pope isnt welcoming to gay people and has covered up child abuse" like. Fork found in kitchen?

[ardyforshort]

ICON BEHAVIOUR

please those two guys kissing as soon as the camera panned on them during the habemus papam celebration...

[ardyforshort]

A MEMO FROM COMMANDER H.M. LEUTZINGER ON THE 498th ANNIVERSARY OF THE SACK OF ROME

As every year, today we remember our comrades who, five centuries ago, made the ultimate sacrifice for their Pontiff and their Church. On this solemn occasion, we traditionally welcome the new faces among us and renew our own vows—as we certainly shall today. Certain in- and out-of-universe events shall not cause our duty to waver, as we stand against the march of time. May God and all the saints strengthen us.

But, like Easter which precedes it, this day is not exclusively funereal, as it marks a new beginning. The architect Vasari recalls that, on the eve of the Sack, while the city braced for attack, the painter Parmigianino continued at his work—St. Jerome’s vision of John the Baptist and Our Lady. “He did not move from his work even for the sound of the Germans who were entering the houses—but coming upon him and seeing him at work, they were stupefied by that masterpiece, and, as is wont of gentlemen, let him proceed. And so while that most impious cruelty of those barbarians ruined the poor city … he was recognised by those Germans and defended from every injury.”

We cannot assume that, in our service, we will receive such generous treatment as the painter. But let us pray—and know—that we will be justly recognised; that our duty is just and beautiful in its justness. Let us pray that we are as faithful as the painter; that we will not waver, even in the face of such atrocities and such glorious truths. And, even without the celebration traditional to this day, let us take the opportunity to refresh our oaths, to acknowledge our comrades, to consider our privileged place in this city and the Church.

May God help us. Acriter et fideliter.

[ardyforshort]

interesting choice of image

[ardyforshort]

Queer reddit: I really really really want to propose to my wonderful boyfriend of five years with this pink cake but I'm not sure if it's too much? Should I go for purple instead? Which one of these would you go for? [photo of cakes attached] Straight reddit: Hi girlies :) I'm dating a man who's told me he's emotionally unavailable. He's perfect :) except for this extremely minor quirk :(. Because of said extremely minor quirk, I'm not allowed in his car and I plan all our dates and pay for his meals when we go out, and I've started carrying his favourite candy around at all times. Anyway, my question is this: Is it possible that I'm the manipulative one in this relationship?

sickens me to my stomach. how dare this guy get to live my dream.

[ardyforshort]

Off tumblr for the next ten days

On account of Current Events.

@caffetteria-centrale has a Pope Francis channel for those who need to talk.

Look after yourselves friends. Being in this fandom is about to become strange and stressful.

[ardyforshort]

Caffetteria Centrale Holy Week & Beyond Event: TOPMAS

Hot on the heels of our Minor Characters Event, we now present a special event for Holy Week and beyond:

April 14 - 27, 2025: Topmas

What's this?

There's a running gag in one of my Conclave friend groups about top Thomas or, to give him his proper name, "Topmas", and how that sounds like some sort of high holiday. Combine this with the concept that at Easter, unexpected things like Thomas's erection rise up, maybe not from the dead but you get the idea I'm sure... and the result is an event around the theme:

Let's make some fanwork where Thomas Lawrence is on top!

Please feel free to interpret the theme in any way you want, whether that' sexually or kinky or about feeling "on top" or some other way of interpreting it that I haven't thought of! Add your finished work to the AO3 collection here: https://archiveofourown.org/collections/topmas

If you'd like to chat to other Conclave fans, bounce ideas off one another, and maybe join the madness that is our Swiss Guard roleplay channel, please send a message/ask either here or to @ardyforshort and I can invite you to our Discord server! We don't bite, I promise. So don't be shy!

Of course, we have a badge for participants - please see below

So, pencils and keyboards at the ready, get your fanworks in!

[ardyforshort]

Caffetteria Centrale Holy Week & Beyond Event: TOPMAS

Hot on the heels of our Minor Characters Event, we now present a special event for Holy Week and beyond:

April 14 - 27, 2025: Topmas

What's this?

There's a running gag in one of my Conclave friend groups about top Thomas or, to give him his proper name, "Topmas", and how that sounds like some sort of high holiday. Combine this with the concept that at Easter, unexpected things like Thomas's erection rise up, maybe not from the dead but you get the idea I'm sure... and the result is an event around the theme:

Let's make some fanwork where Thomas Lawrence is on top!

Please feel free to interpret the theme in any way you want, whether that' sexually or kinky or about feeling "on top" or some other way of interpreting it that I haven't thought of! Add your finished work to the AO3 collection here: https://archiveofourown.org/collections/topmas

If you'd like to chat to other Conclave fans, bounce ideas off one another, and maybe join the madness that is our Swiss Guard roleplay channel, please send a message/ask either here or to @ardyforshort and I can invite you to our Discord server! We don't bite, I promise. So don't be shy!

Of course, we have a badge for participants - please see below

So, pencils and keyboards at the ready, get your fanworks in!

[ardyforshort]

Caffetteria Centrale Holy Week & Beyond Event: TOPMAS

Hot on the heels of our Minor Characters Event, we now present a special event for Holy Week and beyond:

April 14 - 27, 2025: Topmas

What's this?

There's a running gag in one of my Conclave friend groups about top Thomas or, to give him his proper name, "Topmas", and how that sounds like some sort of high holiday. Combine this with the concept that at Easter, unexpected things like Thomas's erection rise up, maybe not from the dead but you get the idea I'm sure... and the result is an event around the theme:

Let's make some fanwork where Thomas Lawrence is on top!

Please feel free to interpret the theme in any way you want, whether that' sexually or kinky or about feeling "on top" or some other way of interpreting it that I haven't thought of! Add your finished work to the AO3 collection here: https://archiveofourown.org/collections/topmas

If you'd like to chat to other Conclave fans, bounce ideas off one another, and maybe join the madness that is our Swiss Guard roleplay channel, please send a message/ask either here or to @ardyforshort and I can invite you to our Discord server! We don't bite, I promise. So don't be shy!

Of course, we have a badge for participants - please see below

So, pencils and keyboards at the ready, get your fanworks in!