artastronomer

[artastronomer]

Mosab Abu Toha

[artastronomer]

being on tumblr is just cozy... you know what i mean? instagram and twitter is all flashy and loud but tumblr is as cozy as my bedroom with scented candles on a cold November night

[artastronomer]

just going to share some conversations here.

[artastronomer]

me: this extreme rude side of me comes out and i fckn hate it so much, i regret it so much, what made you stay for this long, given that you’ve witnessed it too?

*sobs*

div: your best parts surpass your worst ones.

evening, 3rd december, 24.

[artastronomer]

"Please don’t expect me to always be good and kind and loving. There are times when I will be cold and thoughtless and hard to understand." - Sylvia Plath

[artastronomer]

“mowing” by ada limón / czeslaw milosz / “cosmos” by carl sagan / “the raven boys” by maggie stiefvater / “smother” by daughter / @orienta1ism / dharmacafé / “the raven king” by maggie stiefvater / “the waves” by virginia woolf / “wandering: notes and sketches” by hermann hesse (trans. james wright)

[artastronomer]

'I like the way your brain works' is literally one of the nicest compliments tbh

[artastronomer]

Hey Sanya! Great artwork! I'm really impressed. Just wanted to know,what's taking you so long to message me on Bumble?

Who is this?

[artastronomer]

🌼🌼

Source.

[artastronomer]

Princess of Solitude

one door,

one fan and some curtains: opaque, famished

like a black hole,

consuming the sunlight

let's call it – a dead star's window

tiled floors,

white walls

like hospitals' ICUs

full of patients;

a rectangular mirror:

attached vertically to the almirah,

reflecting the staircase,

the other curtain, and

sometimes,

me

my perception of this small space,

is often restricted to four walls, and

a window

a room:

where my mother visits

less than our maid;

where the bed is a battleground for my tiny possessions;

where the fan's speed is faster than that of a tornado;

where i see my ghosts―

swimming across the room,

drowning, and

dying;

where more than one universe resides:

people are not just humans but muses, personified artworks walking through cosmos;

where serenades sound like elegies;

a 13 year old's painting hangs opposite to the dead star's window

consisting of ―

a bridge,

two empty houses,

trees,

and

a river

― no humans,

does portraying no humans makes it lifeless?

an oval shaped wall clock:

Still

against the bed

waiting for a war

to cause no disturbance to its stillness,

a stillness easily harmed by distorted batteries but not battles,

other unimportant things ―

a study lamp primarily for self portraits,

two ACs of which one doesn't work,

two square framed paintings,

dusty books,

clothes ― remains unharmed,

dusty books:

kept inside the cupboard

as gifts from past lovers,

i lived there,

ages, years,

is this how you perceive a home?

months,

inhibiting those four walls, solitarily

with the mirror, and

some pages, also

a quarter of the queen sized bed.

- Sanya

[artastronomer]

🌹

[artastronomer]

• Hands - A small series

[artastronomer]

“Replace pain with a pen, create a universe wherein you feel safe.”

— emc-havah // The H Collection #17

[artastronomer]

• Stranger from Cosmos •

Every time he sobbed in the dark nights, I witnessed a little death, which yearned for disappearing in the bermuda triangle, like a ghost, to his own world, where the skies bowed down before him, and he walked miles with panthers, Sailing through the Pacific,

Where he’d ski on Mt Fuji, And dance to jazz in the streets of Santorini, Stargaze with his lover beneath the nordic lights in Iceland,

He dreams of driving on the edge of the Hornelen, Making love to angels in Las vegas Painting himself to the rainbow colors

Dozing on the savannas, Jumping from the Angel falls, swimming across the lilac sky, Running through the jungles of Amazon to colour the world with himself.

- Sanya //my muse is full of madness.

[Art by Aykut Aydogdu ]

[artastronomer]

The graph of x = y, where the equation of your life is constantly increasing,  visualising x axis as the "state of stability"  you are falling down in the third quadrant,  towards the kingdom of despair. That despair which haunted you in the suffocating nights while you pretended to sleep as your mom came to see you, And the nights where you slept covering 1/10th of your queen sized bed, perspiring beneath the comforters, Contemplating of the nights when you spilled water over your painting and thought of yourself as a "white crayon" whose purpose was chartless while drawing the "story of my life in a picture" which was dark, and you could feel the multiple nuclear explosions taking place inside your head, Shouting SOS with the red flag which again is a sign of alarm, Seeking help, but anyone who stared at the red alarm ran towards the opposite direction as RED is the sign of the DEVIL who's the terrorist of human mind but devil spelled backwards is LIVED and that's what you did all these years Or rather SURVIVED Holding the bags of anxiety and depression which are now stitched to your shoulders and now you believe that they are a part of you  And sliting your shoulders  would only hurt you. And now it's 3 am,  you look outside your window  you see a night sky, all dark like your life where the white crayon is the moon. - Sanya//graph of x=y is a straight line at 45°.

[artastronomer]

I shave, only those parts which are exposed to you, because I fear getting judged, somewhere inside is a deep cut, Oh! not on the skin but where it has left a feeling of paranoiac disaster. It haunts me. I return home, uncover my clothes discovering a partially wounded map with waters and landscapes. which no astronomer would want to discover. Not only me, but also my friend. Who exposes 10% of himself. Doesn't shave, feels less of a boy as he cannot shape his beard like other boys. Wears long sleeves and jeans. Boxers are his enemies. He was once told "with a wig you'd look like a girl" which was a joke, they laughed upon. He goes home tired. Sobs relentlessly. He's frightened of you. Sometimes, himself. -Sanya//waters and landscapes refer to unshaven and shaved skin.