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It's my 10 year anniversary on Tumblr 🥳

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Merlin and Morgana:

For it was she who bravely entered the vault, found the magical vessel, and destroyed it. We must be vigilant! We must stand firm against the dark forces of magic, and ensure that they never penetrate our walls again.

MERLIN | 3x02 "The Tears of Uther Pendragon – Part 2"

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Spider-Man: No Way Home Spoilers

You know, it’s kind of uncanny that I too wrote a story where there are essentially three different versions of the same character united by a sorcerer’s spell to save New York, nearly ten years before No Way Home.

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Open at the Close (IFD 2025)

International Fanworks Day theme: Fan communities

Summary:

July 15, 2011 marks the end of an era for Miles with the midnight release of the final Harry Potter film. But it also marks a new beginning as well.

(Follows in the same continuity as A Mingling of Magics: The Legacy of Merlin, and happens over six months post-AMOM, so there will be some allusions to BBC Merlin and to that fic.)

Link

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It was no secret that Miles had had a hard time making friends over the years.

It was not that he’d never had friends. Back in elementary school he’d been best friends with Liam Dempsey, climbing trees and getting into trouble. Even after Liam had moved away, Miles had at least been friendly with his classmates in after-school groups for years.

But while his visions of the future had been infrequent back then, the few instances where he’d suddenly fallen over or blurted out something he shouldn’t know in front of the class… well, it started to get him a reputation as the “weird kid”. And as puberty kicked in and kids started separating off into groups, Miles found himself a bit adrift, even among the school’s few nerds. Marco Campbell’s transfer to Avalon in their freshman year and subsequent bullying didn’t help either.

And he was okay with that. The fewer people got close, the fewer people could find out his secret. (Or, so he told himself.) So, he dug into his school work, proving himself academically to fill the void until Allie came along.

*.*.*.*

One place Miles had never felt lonely, though, was with Harry Potter fans.

Miles had gotten into the books around the time the first film came out, and they felt like a refuge. Like Harry, Miles felt out of place among “muggles”. Like Hermione, he was the smart one who alienated others at first, but still managed to find her people.

So whether he was participating in forums theorizing what was going to happen in the next book (Miles personally championed the “Harry is the Heir of Gryffindor” theory) or going to Potter-themed events at the library dressed in fake glasses and a Gryffindor scarf (he may have identified with Ravenclaw, but he looked too much like Harry to pass that up), he felt happy, swept up in the excitement of a shared love connecting them all together.

And while his mother preferred to get the new books at the store the next morning rather than chaperone him to the midnight releases (he was a little young and she had to work, after all), the movies were a whole different story.

Summer 2007 had been the Summer of Potter, with the final book and Order of the Phoenix movie releasing within weeks of each other. And while 13-year-old Miles couldn’t get his mom to take him to the book release (“You can just read it the next day, honey”), he did manage to convince her to take him to the midnight release of the film, since it wouldn’t be out on DVD for months.

And sure it was just him and his mom going, but he still didn’t feel alone. Because the rest of the crowd was just as excited as he was for the exact same thing. He even chatted with some people a little older than him while waiting on line to get in, wondering which scenes would make it into the film? Would Umbridge and Bellatrix be as awful as in the books?

Two years later, Miles and his mom once again made the trek to their local theater at 9PM to wait on line to see Half-Blood Prince in theaters at midnight. Miles, even as he struggled with high school and Marco and the increasing severity of his visions, even as he would later rant in the car on the way home about how the film focused too much on romance and not enough on the Tom Riddle backstory scenes, at least for a handful of hours felt some sense of release and connection. He wasn’t the weird kid or the victim or the secret psychic or even the honors student -- just another fan amid in the crowd.

*.*.*.*

But then Fall 2010 happened. And his whole world got flipped upside down.

Suddenly, there was Allie. And magic. And a destiny he couldn’t begin to comprehend. Not to mention, that whole thing in New York.

It made all those Merlin-related expletives in the books feel super weird in hindsight.

So, when the film release for Deathly Hallows Part 1 rolled around, Miles was honestly too overwhelmed to even think of going to the midnight release. (Plus, like, it was a school night this time. Even Harry Potter wasn’t worth tanking his flawless attendance record.)

His mom understood, but while they still managed to go during opening weekend (and some of the purposeful changes the film had made actually intrigued Miles instead of infuriating him), it… didn’t quite feel right.

He’d sort of lived the plot of a Potter book twice over now, between the prophecy, the secretly-evil teacher, and the epic battles. And in the process, he’d made some real friends.

It took him some time to figure it out, but… perhaps just being part of the crowd wasn’t enough anymore.

*.*.*.*

The summer finally rolled around, and with just a couple of weeks until the midnight release, Miles approached his mom making chicken parm in the kitchen, her wavy, chestnut hair tied back out of her face.

“Hey, Mom, um… I wanted to-to talk to you about something.”

Helen peered over her shoulder, eyebrows furrowed over clear blue eyes. “Oh dear, you’ve got that serious look. Did you have a vision?”

“Actually, no.” The visions had actually decreased a bit since he’d started learning magic, which was a relief. “But, there’s something I wanted to run by you.”

She popped the casserole dish in the oven and set the timer before turning to him fully. “Okay, shoot.”

Miles scratched the back of this head anxiously. “Would you hate it if it wasn’t the two of us going to the Deathly Hallows midnight release?”

Helen blinked. “You mean… you want to go with your friends?”

“Not just go with them. I think maybe I’d like to have them over here first?” He cringed. “It’s going to sound so cheesy, but, I thought – since it’s the last time – we could really celebrate it. Make some Potter-themed snacks, watch the last one here, and then go over to the movie. The whole nine yards.” He shrugged. “I don’t know why, I just… I want to share this last time with them. Now that I can. I know they’ve collectively seen most of it, even Marco, but they’ve never done a midnight release. But, Mom…” His eyes trailed to the floor.

Helen walked over to him with a wan half-smile. “Miles, honey, I’ve loved sharing Harry Potter with you all these years.” She placed a hand on his shoulder, her thumb rubbing circles into his skin. “I know it’s gotten us through some really rough times.”

He nodded, not wanting to remember. Had it really been less than a year since the bullying has stopped?

“But having a real, true group of friends is all I’ve ever wanted for you. And I think sharing this fan tradition you love with them is a fantastic idea.”

Miles crossed his arms. “You don’t think they’ll think it’s weird?”

She scoffed. “Honey, they’ve seen you use actual magic and they didn’t run. I don’t think you sharing your love of fake magic will scare them. Not if they’re real friends.” She raised a finger. “Just promise we’ll go together that weekend and you won’t give anything away.”

“You already read the book.”

“You know better than I do how much they change from the books. Though, honestly, as long as they keep the Molly Weasley-Bellatrix fight, I’ll be happy.”

He grinned. “Fine. Deal.” After a moment’s hesitation, he pushed his teenaged embarrassment aside and threw his arms around her. “Thanks, Mom.”

*.*.*.*

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s1 baby merlin because yeah

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Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: Avalon High (2010), Merlin (TV) Rating: General Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Miles (Avalon High) & Original Character(s), Miles (Avalon High) & Harry Potter Fandom, Miles & Allie Pennington | Ellie Harrison Characters: Miles (Avalon High), Merlin (Merlin), Will (Merlin) mentioned, Allie (Avalon High) mentioned, Marco (Avalon High) mentioned, Original Female Character(s) Additional Tags: Reincarnation, International Fanworks Day 2025, Harry Potter Movies, Characters Watching Harry Potter Movies, Miles is Merlin's reincarnation, Book 7: Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, Post-Canon, Pre-Canon, Foreshadowing for A Mingling of Magics, No beta we die like Arthur? I guess? Series: Part 3 of A Mingling of Magics Summary:

July 15, 2011 marks the end of an era for Miles with the midnight release of the final Harry Potter film. But it also marks a new beginning as well.

(Follows in the same continuity as A Mingling of Magics: The Legacy of Merlin, and happens over six months post-AMOM, so there will be some allusions to BBC Merlin and to that fic.)

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I enjoy the "sending my gay son to homophobia kingdom" jokes as much as the next person but, to be fair to hunith, I think people forget how unsafe ealdor was implied to be for merlin.

right in the first episode, in her letter, hunith tells gaius that she's afraid of what people in ealdor might do to merlin if he was found out (he is so clearly at odds with people here that, if he were to remain, I fear what would become of him). so afraid, in fact, that she packed merlin off to gaius as soon as she found out that will knew about his magic. it sounds like the two of them didn't even get the chance to say goodbye, so it must've happened very quickly:

[transcript from episode 1x10]

given hunith's fear, there's no reason to believe that people in ealdor were much more tolerant towards magic than people in camelot.

then, in episode 5x03, we see an instance of villagers taking matters into their own hands and attempting to burn an old woman on the pyre for being a witch. while this happened in camelot, it didn't have much to do with the king's laws – on the contrary, the villagers even tried to do it in defiance of arthur's direct orders.

I can imagine this happening in other villages — and ealdor is, as hunith wrote in her letter, a small one. Would it be easier to hide there, or in a city where hundreds live and nobody knows you? better yet, under the protection and tutelage of somebody who could teach you how to control your random outbursts of magic? she had no way of knowing merlin would end up spending most of his time under the prince's nose.

then, of course, there's the fact that merlin was not happy in ealdor. although in episode 1x10 he tells will that he didn't want to leave and that his mother made him, he also tells arthur in an earlier scene that he left because he did not fit in anymore and "wanted to find somewhere that [he] did". (was he lying to will when he said he wanted to stay, to soften the blow of him leaving? perhaps; though it's likely that he actually felt torn about it).

as merlin painfully admits to gaius later, the years before he moved to camelot were the loneliest of his life. and hunith would certainly have noticed her son's deep unhappiness.

so, to get to my point — hunith's choice wasn't as crazy as it sounds. sometimes the only option you're left with is sending your gay son to homophobia kingdom and hope that things turn out all right for him.

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Everyone should read their own fanfics recreationally tbh this shit fucking rules. It's like the author knows exactly what I like.

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Something to keep in mind

Anxiety is contagious.

Like a yawn or a virus, it sways and causes hearts to race,

A ripple effect.

It's so easy to take on someone else's worry.

It's so easy to magnify your own beyond reality.

Feel your feelings. But think about feeling them privately.

Because the anxiety that made you create that one midnight post may pass by morning

While the words continue to infect, infect, infect,

Beyond what you can see

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Everyone should read their own fanfics recreationally tbh this shit fucking rules. It's like the author knows exactly what I like.

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Some days online, I really have to be like

"Be curious, not judgmental"

"Be curious not judgmental"

"Be curious not judgmental"

All while mentally doing this

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When the birthdate you planned for a character ends up fitting better than you realized

(Or: I think I figured out Merlin's birthday based on Western astrology)

Okay, so here's a little fun fact for the A Mingling of Magics readers out there: I gave Merlin (and subsequently Miles) a birthdate of somewhere around midsummer (June 21)

My reasoning was, hey, summer solstice, longest day of the year, what better birthdate for Merlin? It's meant to be a time of great magic and light.

But then I recently learned about cusps in Western astrology and guess what?

Midsummer birthdays fall within what's called the Cusp of Magic between Gemini and Cancer.

Qualities of a Cusp of Magic birth include: Curiosity, sentimentality, energetic, sociability, empathy, good communicator and listener.

And these are vague enough to be applicable to a lot of people, I know, but then there's this little paragraph:

You're easy-breezy on the outside, but inside you might be a ball of tension. You absorb the feelings of others and are quite sensitive yourself. You have a hard time trusting people, so you encourage others to talk about themselves or engage in lighthearted conversation to avoid talking about your own inner issues. 

And like?? Oh my god?? That fits Merlin so damn well it's scary! So future fic writers, if you wanted to give Merlin a birthdate, consider June 17-23.

(Admittedly doesn't fit Miles as well, but thought the Merlin fans might get a kick out of this either way)

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That's fair. But haven't there always been Ruidusborn? Sure, the problem escalated since Ludinus got involved, a lot of this is def his fault, but there were Ruidusborn being created by Predathos dating back to pre-Calamity. The threat has always been in the background, hovering above Exandria.

And Ludinus may have stoked the tensions, but he was preying on real grievances that the Ruby Vanguard members had against the gods, or at least against those that follow them.

Are the gods really the source of those problems? I'm iffy on that myself. Will there be some negative consequences to this decision, should they survive the battle? Most likely, that's just how these things shake out. Will they be worse than the current state of things? I'm not sure.

At this point, I'm just waiting to see Bells Hells get in a room with all, or at least more than one, of the gods to see the gods really defend themselves to BH. And waiting for the post-campaign wrap-up to get a better idea of where Matt's and the players' heads were at. We have to get this threat of Predathos and Ludinus under control before we can really unpack everything else, because that's been chokeholding every conversation .

People are discussing the merits of this "give the gods a choice" plan and I'm still over here waving my arms like "why do they need to be destroyed/dismantled/driven away at all???'" If the campaign had answered this question in any way other than "some people don't like them and some of them are bad" I could engage with this but. In Exandria, things have *always* come back to the fact that people do good things and bad things; the gods are not direct actors in this world. I feel like a broken record, but *why*????

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I mean, I was in agreement for the longest time, but at this point things are in a state where something does have to change:

The gods were threatening to unleash another Calamity to stop Predathos and save themselves. The Matron and the Archeart were the only things standing in the way of that happening in the present day, that's why they both reached out to BH. Even the Dawnfather and the Everlight sided against humanity in the end. Which to Bells Hells really highlights that they have too much power and not enough oversight, even amongst each other, even with the Divine Gate. They've been restraining themselves from acting directly up until now, but that could go away at any second.

For that matter, witnessing Downfall also showed BH that the gods would choose each other over humanity, no matter how much harm the Betrayers did. While it's sympathetic from the gods' perspective, from mortals' point of view that is pretty scary!

Throughout the campaign, just the threat of Ludinus and Predathos caused the gods to take some brutal direct actions, like the Spider Queen taking Opal by force to be her champion, or even Asmodeus manipulating Braius. Again, self-preservation does not make one bad, but with the gods, who have such an outsized influence on mortals, the bad things they do cause a lot more pain than average.

As long as Predathos was trapped, it would continue creating Ruidusborn to come and free it. In fact, it made more Ruidusborn just while Bells Hells were in that chamber. More people like Imogen, who has suffered from her powers for so long.

I agree less with this one, but I know a lot of anti-gods or gods-critical factions point out the colonizer allegories with the gods, primordials, and titans. I didn't really understand a lot of that personally, but I guess what it boils down to is Exandria doesn't owe everything to the gods and has some natural magic that wouldn't go away if the gods did? *shrug*

I think what Matt was trying to get across is that this push-and-pull with the gods and Predathos was a never-ending conflict, a Cold War threatening to explode any second, and people like Ludinus would always be around to instigate that for their own ends. And who gets harmed the most? Mortals who had no say.

So, while BH have long shied away from straight-up wanting to kill the gods, basically since the Malleus Key there's been no going back for gods or mortals. Something was going to change, whether that be Calamity 2.0 or the gods dying or the gods fleeing. Now we have a third option that doesn't nuke the gods or their influence in Exandria but also potentially gives them more accountability, if they choose to accept it.

Of course, with the way the campaign unfolded I think this messaging got lost in the shuffle for a lot of people, which is why it might be best to revisit the campaign through the Critical Role Abridged releases, which get to the bones of the conflict. And perhaps there will be some expansion material down the line.

I also wish there had been more discussion of the good the gods do, more talking with pro-gods people. But it feels like every time BH decided they had to fight for the gods for the sake of Exandria, Matt threw in some wrinkle to make the decision more difficult.

My point is the campaign did try to answer this question in other ways, but whether that actually came across in the chaos of the actual play format is a more subjective topic. This, more than any other campaign perhaps, felt like a first draft for a potentially great story but that needed some things ironed out.

People are discussing the merits of this "give the gods a choice" plan and I'm still over here waving my arms like "why do they need to be destroyed/dismantled/driven away at all???'" If the campaign had answered this question in any way other than "some people don't like them and some of them are bad" I could engage with this but. In Exandria, things have *always* come back to the fact that people do good things and bad things; the gods are not direct actors in this world. I feel like a broken record, but *why*????

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Oh my god, the cults that would result from this. How many people would claim to be the reincarnation of so-and-so god and gain followers that way?

Gods become mortals. And their followers? Well, they become what’s basically a fan club. And what does that make the gods? Why, Exandria’s first influencers, of course.

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Merlin talking to any sorcerer foolish enough to challenge him knowing he is Emrys:

Merlin: In a duel of wits, I see you've come unarmed.

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#let’s NOT#do ya’ll think he was always immortal or that something specifically that happened in the show caused it

Well... okay, I go back and forth on this one myself.

On the one hand, I like the idea that was put forth in the classic fic A Question of Decisions (an alt S5 where Arthur knows), where Merlin was always destined to become immortal but wasn't officially immortal until after he was able to do the aging spell on his own. Which would mean he wasn't immortal until near the end of S3, and Balinor's sacrifice was not for nothing.

We could also surmise, since he came of age at the beginning of S4 ("a young man") that perhaps that was the point he became immortal, because he was now an adult and fully mature in his powers. At the very least, he was immortal by the time he got hit by the Dorocha at the start of S4, because nobody mortal should have survived that.

Buuuuut... there's evidence he was immortal even back in S1.

Merlin came back from "The Poisoned Chalice" incident, even though it really looked like he died. While you could assume the cure just had a delayed reaction and he recovered by normal means, with the knowledge of his immortality you could just as easily say the poison kept him in a state of near death but was never going to kill him, the cure just freeing him from that state.

He also saw Avalon in "The Gates of Avalon", which Gaius said, "Mortals are only supposed to glimpse it the moment before death." That Merlin was able to see it without any harm could be because of his magic, or could be because he already wasn't mortal.

And of course, Nimueh refused to trade Merlin's life for Arthur's, first using his mother, then Gaius, saying Merlin wasn't destined to die. Was that just because of his destiny with Arthur? Or because Nimueh was being difficult? Or because he already couldn't die, and thus couldn't trade his life?

So... I made the post because it's juuuust vague enough that you could say Merlin was immortal the whole time, which makes Balinor's sacrifice even more heart wrenching. And it seems like exactly the kind of tragic BS the Merlin writers would pull, whether on purpose or by accident.

But I'm gonna adjust the wording of the post and add some tags to reflect on how vague the whole situation is, because you do have a point, it's not totally clear if Merlin was immortal the whole time.

The Pains of being a BBC Merlin fan

Me: *Going about my day* My brain: You know, if Merlin was immortal the whole time, he would have survived that bandit attack in "The Last Dragonlord" My brain: So, his father sacrificing himself to save Merlin was actually pointless Me: ... Me: ... Me: Those MOTHERF-