autofi11

[autofi11]

I can not

I can not do all of these things at once

I do not have a store of supplies packed away

I fear I will not survive the winter

I think that soon, that maybe, someday

You will think of me as nothing but a splinter

Poking out from under your ribcage

[autofi11]

Crash and burn

or

Bash and turn

The good deeds fall out of me

onto the concrete floor

Will you carry them to sea

or sweep them from the door

echoes of insincere duties

[autofi11]

YOU INTRIGUE ME

you are intriguing

when youre speaking

or reading

or sneaking

or cheating

whatever lives inside that mind

is delectable

is epochal

to me

religion is naught

but youre my jam

let us bask

in the rot

my sexy preacher man

[autofi11]

i can feel you

in the wake of my bones

i can feel you

[autofi11]

What is there to talk about

I will not speak of it

It is not my burden to carry

I can

I will

Walk away

You know this

Man

[autofi11]

Only if you wanna “accidentally” read how horrible you are in their private diary. That they gave you the fucking key to*

I hope you know that you can tell me whatever you're thinking.

[autofi11]

I know too much. It’s time for you to move on. It will be miserable for both of us. You need some fresh eyes to crush.

[autofi11]

Now you got something to write about. Just what you wanted. 🧡

[autofi11]

Surveillance

they dont ask me what im doing

its almost like they dont care

or they have some secret viewing

of what im up to

as long as i stay in frame my image tattooing

into their neurotransmitters

they gawk and stare

all the while the ink is queing

as i go about my crying and rueing

[autofi11]

soul mate

you look like the love of my life

floating in the water

ageless

effervescent

intentional

the ache

cuts through me like a knife

for all the years i won’t get with you

sadness spills from my vagus nerve

into the clear blue lake of your e y e s

you look like my lovely lover

[autofi11]

The Real World (Small Town America)

while you ruminate and perseverate

on missed opportunities

on all the words you did and didn’t say

i am still mourning my losses

not just of the summer

of the year

the decade

or whatever

it doesn’t matter

i have no choice but to live in the real world

the terrifying anxiety provoking real world

because some of us don’t have other options

some of us started late

or never heard the firing gun

some of us are the keepers of our own gates

some of us are victims of our fates

but we march on

upward and onward

because we are also

the head of the household

not part time not weekly

daily

fully

always

forever

and some of us

get lost on the way to eternity

we get distracted led astray

because our being is so powerful

so important

lessons must be learned

we attract the dark

because we are the light

we are salvation

we are the path that feels right

until reality sets in

the truth hurts

honesty is a gift

offered from one to another

i hope to do better next time

to speak softer

to fold tighter

i will extinguish every fiber of my being

before i give in to temptation

projection

deflection

objectification

but your honor

i object

[autofi11]

Offerings

Thunder and ache became silence,

silence became the key of us,

us unshaped by lips,

lips sealed from dripping offerings…

[autofi11]

And

Into

The Forest

I Go To

Lose

My Mind

And

Find

My Soul

Edited to credit original Author

John Muir 1838-1914

[autofi11]

Witchseed

I am the seed of all the witches they burned

Swirling thru the cosmos

Centuries of time

Stories untold

The pages still yearned

Manifestations can’t heal the lessons learned

Incantations won’t redeal the hand

Reincarnation won’t change the turn

Where will this soul safely land

[autofi11]

Haunted

there’s a ghost in my house

it slips in after dark

sometimes it sounds

like a raucous heist

am i haunted or paranoid

is it one of my cats

two owls that whinny

or a restless poltergeist

[autofi11]

I wonder if she looks like me

If she fucks like me

If she held him softly

Or just enough to make him burn

He does not want me

He does not love me

He’s trying to change me at every turn

Into something more akin to her

[autofi11]

Milkweed

there is a chrysalis

on the milkweed

it is magnificent

it is gold

it will become a beautiful butterfly

someday

when it cracks

when it folds

it will fly away

when the wings set hold

some spring

it may return

to the pond out back

where it learned to fly

and i named him sisyphus