axei

[axei]

Fandom: Doctor Who

Does any one remember the Doctor Who episode where the main theme of the 45 minute long plot is that as long as one, just one being with enough understanding to think, to feel, to be afraid, is treated poorly than the prosper of the rest is worthless?

That no one's life matters if even one person is being mistreated to sustain this life, because that is not a life worth living.

That it is our duty as people to hold one another accountable, that the needs of the many never out weight the needs of the few.

And how this episode directly looks you in the eyes and says to every billionaire who's corporation runs on the backs of under payed and over worked immigrates and High Schoolers that they do not deserve their money.

That every "feminist" that builds their "equality" off the backs of queer and black people that their equality is worthless and invalid.

That every queer person who sacrifices the neo pronoun user for the slim chance that a gay white man won't be harassed is just as bad as the harasser.

That every person of color that steps on the members of their community that are not fortunate enough to escape poverty, inhospitable countries, and stereotypes doesn't deserve even a scrap of the praise they get for "not being like those other ___ people".

The episode that hammers into your brain that even one person suffering means that everyone who profits or is even aware of that suffering is held accountable. That killing these people, silencing them for speaking out against the work they put in or the ways they are under valued is awful, and if we just sit down and listen for once there can be new and beautiful things that our society as we know it now will forever see as a turning point for the better.

And the episode also had a b plot of a woman so obsessed with being beautiful that she forgets how to live for the sake of it, and she eventually accepts that she has to die, and in her dying breath she goes back to her past before she ruined everything and said that she looks truly beautiful, and then dies in her past selves arms while everyone else just stared because she was no longer beautiful enough to even call a doctor for. But in that moment as she dies she understands what it means to live, and what beauty is.

Because I remember it. I remember it very well. And to all the people who think the show "got woke" or is forcing in commentary for fan service. This isn't new, you just weren't media literate enough to see the massive fucking blinking sign that said "we care about social issues, and support queer people, and minorities" and the only reason you see it now is because a black man and a woman are standing under it, so now it obviously pertains to you.

[axei]

I think I just need my ass kicked. Like fully just knocked around I won’t even put up a fight or defend myself. It would help me in the long run to just get my fucking ass beat.

[axei]

Honestly the dumbest complaint I've seen about Sunrise on the Reaping is people saying that Haymitch was so different and that ruined it for them. To me that's just saying you wanted a flat, one note character.

Like oh gee, I wonder, what could have made Haymitch into a shrewd and sharp hermit??? You're telling me he wasn't punching people out of chairs as a baby?? He was .... sensitive? And cared for? And naive??? Nooo it's ruined and Suzanne clearly mischaracterized him and me and my headcanons are always correct

You're telling me you saw a Haymitch who made a hundred mistakes, was stupid in the arena, didn't see the obvious tricks, and can't picture how he grows up to distrust the world and build a wall around himself? You would have preferred a flat Haymitch cardboard cutout? Please kindly stick to fanfiction

[axei]

Fandom: Doctor Who

Doctor who is very near to my heart, I grew up on it and I could tell you a synopsis of every episode from Christopher Eccleston to Peter Capaldi, but as of late I have been fucking ashamed to call myself a fan, and last night I went through all the lowest rated episodes just to make myself feel something, and now I have shit to say. This is going to be a series of call out posts talking about my least favorite parts of the fandom, the kind of people I'm mad at probably aren't abundant on Tumblr, but I don't have Twitter and I'm not stepping foot on Reddit. If you are not the kind of person who this is about... Then this isn't about you, either interact positively or move on, not every DW fan is like this. I'm not.

This first post is going to be about the idea that "Doctor Who is woke now"

Yes... And?

Doctor who is woke... It has been woke... Since the first season.

I don't know if you watched the show blind, or if you purposefully ignored everything pertaining to queer people or social issues, but this is not a new development.

Captain Jack harkness exists...

He kisses the doctor full on the mouth in the first season.

David Tennent's doctor has some of the gayest subtext I've ever seen, it's confirmed later in Capaldi's episodes that they had romantic feelings for each other, but I bet you just weren't listening.

Speaking of- Bill, the black lesbian... One of the best characters... Bill? Ring a bell?

What about when (as I just hinted to) Capaldi's doctor said "she was my man crush, at least I think we were both men back then" were you just not listening?

And if you think that the social justice movements are new, they aren't, you're just media illiterate.

There have been several episodes that have the main theme of "you are not immune to propaganda"

There was the "hey, don't blindly believe everything edited news sources tell you" episode.

The "people are only strong against a dictator when we stand together, unity is the most frightening thing to the eyes of a fascist regime" episode.

"Profiting off of the backs of unwilling participants and causing them pain, when they likely would've helped anyway, just because you're afraid and think you know best, is... Bad"

"Just because it's the way something is, it doesn't mean it can't ever stop being that way, and thinking that we can't ever change long in-forced systems will leave us in long in-forced systems (also as long as you keep writing off your own trauma and experiences the people who hurt you will never be held accountable and it will happen again)"

And those are just one per Eccleston's seasons to Capaldi's.

The fact of the matter is that Doctor Who has been a queer friendly and social justice caring show since it's revival, the only reason it seems new to you is because you saw queerness as jokes and justice as themes to be ignored.

You were so good at ignoring the underlying themes that the writers had to hit you over the head with it. And I hope they don't stop, no matter how bad the ratings get, I still think Ncuti Gatwa is doing great, and so did Jodie Whittaker.

I also believe that a lot of people upset by the new "wokeness" aren't actually upset by the wokeness, it's just the easiest thing to pin it on, as the actual reason for their discomfort is a little too complex.

I'm a man, and I am going to speak in over generalization here, not all of the guys who watch Doctor Who are like this, but for the loud minority that do:

Some men watched doctor who in it's "glory days" and idolized the Doctor, no matter how many times the show tried to beat you over the head with the fact that his methods were unhealthy, unsustainable, and slowly destroying him.

Because the doctor, particularly Tennent and Smith, play into the male power fantasy, they play into the idea of a man who carries the weight of the world on his shoulders and who never asks for help, who never needs it.

And now, now that Gatwa is showing the natural and inevitable progression of that kind of person, they're mad.

Because the point of Gatwa's Doctor is that the Doctor would either burn himself out, or learn, he would learn to trust, to lean. The show is less about "me saving them" and more about "us saving us", it's about community, UNIT, and companions being more important than ever.

And some people just can't handle that.

The fact of the matter is that Gatwa is not any more emotional than the last doctors, he's just healthier about it. The other Doctor's, especially Tennent and Smith (the two that seem to be idolized the most) would've been emotional when faced with the things Gatwa was, the only difference is that Tennent would've killed someone about it (time Lord victorious) and Smith would've domestically abused a woman about it (his multiple assaults on Amy, his screaming in Clara's face). Somehow, to some people, literally killing people, and abusing women, is better than crying....

And those kinds of people are upset, because the show is now holding up a mirror to them, telling them in no uncertain terms that the man they look up to, should not be looked up to.

And that's ok, it's ok that he is a flawed character, it doesn't make him worse, it doesn't make the show unwatchable, infact, the main character growing as the story progresses is the mark of a fantastic piece of media, it's only unfortunate that some people can't handle being told they need to grow up, and cry more.

(Also I can't imagine they were happy about their perfect idol boy turning into a woman, lol)

If you enjoyed this... I'm gonna make more, if you didn't... I'm sure you'll let me know.

[axei]

Much needed memes. Added the second one just in case.

[axei]

I have a fic idea for Eddie and Volts hate ending but man idk if anyone else will see the vision so hear me out.

Hate Ending happens. And if you were like me when you got it, you probably did almost everything right but like one thing. That’s what happened to me. I missed ONE interaction with Eddie. I even helped fix the bar!

So imagine that sort of situation. And then you get to the lights out, where you have to choose what to do and the *right answer isn’t there*. Yes. We are doing a slight 4th wall break for this.

Volt goes blue (hot), Eddie isn’t anywhere to be seen. And instead of the homeowner/reader being like. Scared or pushed out. They fight BACK. (Burns themselves cause they probably push or grab at Volt).

Because I just. I can’t imagine the homeowner being like “ah shit fuck, didn’t mean that to happen” or whatever.

I’m imagining a homeowner who is going “I tried! I want to help!!! Fucking let me!!! I want to make the right choices but I can’t- it’s like no matter what I say, the right words aren’t there (4th wall anyone?)”. I want a homeowner that basically breaks the game script to fight back for their her boys.

And yes. I want it to work. I want them to force Volt to let them fix the faulty wire, maybe the homeowner tells Volt he can take the claim for it getting fixed. That they’ll leave Eddie alone after just let them do this. (Ideally this version of the homeowner actually does know some mechanical stuff. Maybe they understand that Volt won’t disappear or whatever. Idk).

I just imagine afterwards. It’s all fixed. Maybe Eddie tries to talk to the homeowner when they’re trying to duck out- after all, they think Volt is still pissed at them. Eddie isn’t mad btw. He’s thankful.

And then their hand/arm is spotted with the massive electrical burns from grabbing/pushing Volt. And yes. I expect this confrontation to be awful. And I also expect Volt to be a very apologetic little shit once he realizes the homeowner wasn’t trying to hurt anyone.

Oof.

I want a Hate Ending that got changed into Love via brute force. “Love that changes the narrative” type shit bro.

[axei]

whats that kink called that you get from reading too much fantasy lit as a child that makes you want to be tortured in front of someone who loves you so you can see the pleading desperation in their eyes and hear how much they love you in between the cracks of their voice and really truly believe they would do anything to save you. also you get to look so cool and brave and covered in blood and soooo able to withstand pain haha no just me? ok

[axei]

Fandom: Date Everything

NSFW under the cut, miners dni

CW: this is a few snippets about date everything, this is set before the player was given the dateviators, this is about the way all the objects around your house react to how you interact with them, this is gonna be very sexual and the player is completely oblivious to all of this, so if that makes you uncomfortable, please don't read this particular work.

Reader GN

Dateables mentioned: (in order) Betty, Daisuke, Dorian, koa, Eddie&Volt, bathroom gang (Dirk, Amir, Bathsheba, Johnny, all mentioned), bedroom gang (Skips, Ben-hwa, Hector, Betty, Dorian), Nightmare

Imagine the POV of the objects around the house before you know about their existence, they're all hopelessly in love with you, every touch, every acknowledgement you give them, every scrap of attention held onto and treasured.

Every week you change the sheets of your bed, and wash them. That's it. For you. For Betty? For Betty once at the end of every week you run your fingers along her seams, pulling the cover off of duvets and sliding pillows from out of cases, leaving her exposed and needy, the gentle and chaste touches not enough, not intentional, she needs you to recognize her, she needs you to know how badly she aches for you.

After every meal you wash the dishes, it's second nature by now, you occasionally hum to yourself, wrapped up in your own thoughts. For Daisuke he feels a strange dichotomy, on one hand: he is fulfilling his duty, what he was made to do, on the other, you hold him so gently under the warm running water, your hands expertly gliding over every inch of him, soapy water warmed by both Winnie and your hands, the soft way you scrub every last imperfection from his skin, unraveling him so expertly, all while completely oblivious to the pathetic sounds he tries to stifle, it's all he can do not to shutter under your touch.

Dorian is a no nonsense kind of door, he takes his job seriously and the idea of being distracted by anything while on guard is ridiculous. However, that falters when you wrap your fingers around his handle, deftly pulling down and pushing him shut with your hip, a well practiced motion, nothing more than muscle memory for you, when it's everything to him. The delicious few moments of contact he's provided with, the distracting sent left lingering in the air when you walk through his frame. He is a professional, or so he keeps telling himself.

Koa has to sit with you, as you nestle into his cushions, sleeping, watching TV, reading, or just plain existing next to him. That's his weakness, the heavy silence that wraps you both up like a warm blanket, the urge to touch, to envelope you in his big arms and feel the beating of your heart against his skin, the desire to make it beat a little harder...

Not even Volt is safe, staying mostly hidden in the closet you nearly never visit, when the power trips Eddie gets the nearly excruciating feeling of you gently flipping his switches, sometimes multiple if you hit the wrong one the first time, but Volt, you can never touch him, he however, can see you. Through every lit bulb and open socket, he sees every move you make in the house and hears every sound. Most nights after the breaker box closes and he and Eddie are left alone with a few open bottles Volt recounts your actions, every soft sound that escapes your lips, every night you fuck yourself to sleep. It always ends with the pair tangled, lips frantically stealing every breath the other has to offer, wishing desperately that you were the one they laid their kisses on, and rutted their cocks against.

The objects in the bathroom have it the worst, they watch you strip, casually tossing Dirk into the hamper in the corner of the room, you look at your own reflection and Amir drinks you in shamelessly. Johnny and Bathsheba alike have to sit in perfect stillness while you fiddle with their nobs, finding the perfect temperature before sliding into the water waiting for you. Sometimes you sing, talk to yourself, other times... You don't. Half the objects in the room stair intently, the other half drop their gaze as you lean your side into the nearest porcelain, small huffs and moans escaping your mouth. Even once you're done, once you've left the room and moved on, the air in the room is still thick with unspoken tension.

You do it most at night, under the cover of darkness and blanket, both of which caress you, soaking up the needy pants that fall from your lips. Ben-hwa listens helplessly from inside their drawer, wishing desperately that it was them between your legs, and not your own hand. Hector watches from his place on the wall, eyes glued to your figure in the gloom, even Dorian swallows thickly, his back facing you, sure to never look, he says it's about privacy, everyone else knows it isn't.

Even your night mares are rather taken with you, on nights that she could use to scare you, to fulfill her purpose... She gives you good dreams, nice dreams, dreams about handsome strangers and exploring extremities. When you inevitably end up whining and humping into your pillow or blanket Betty sends a quiet thanks to your dreams.

[axei]

Fandom: Date Everything

I love the game as it is, but as someone who's demi romantic and has a very Dorian esq view on romance (it should start with friendship, and that friendship shouldn't end once you start dating) I think that a spin off or dlc or just AU of the game but they aren't trying to date you, would be so cool. Especially because it would open so many roads.

Your childhood stuffed animal, that instead of growing with you, is still the age you were when you got them. They act like you did as a child, they're bright and you can't help but resent them a little, they're you before you were ruined. But one day you find them crying, and when you ask, the tell you something that made you cry as a child. Like Diana they hold all of the tears that you cried into them, even the ones you forgot. It starts with silly things, a friend breaking a toy or a finger caught in a door, but slowly as they reveal more and more, you remember more and more. They complain about the yelling from down stairs, they tell you about the B+ they got, it was their first one, they don't like second grade anymore. From least favorite foods to going hungry. You stop resenting them, and start connecting, you hold them as they cry, the way no one ever did for you. Slowly, very slowly they get happier, their smile more genuine, and the more you help them, the lighter you feel.

Picture frames, ones that hold pictures both embarrassing and nostalgic. Like the Hanks, multiple all with different memories and personalities tied to the picture kept safe in them. One, the youngest of the group is your baby picture, the oldest is one of your parents, the last time they saw you. Alone they only hold snap shots, small moments, but together they're your life, your memories, your past.

Family heirlooms, older with wrinkled skin and gray hair, they've been in your family for generations, seen every major event, they sit around in circles and tell stories, your great great grandmother was a spit fire in her time, your grandfather had a rather unsavory past before meeting your grandma, and one of your great great uncles was jack the ripper!! They laugh at the shock on your face before assuring you it's a joke, he was just an odd one. Four generations they've been with your blood line, and now that you can talk with them they can tell you these stories, and tell you how proud they are of you.

Like I said, the base game is great, and this kind of content would be darker than what we got, but I still think it could've been cool.

[axei]

Fandom: Date Everything

More Eddie and Volt head canons, it's gotten to the point that I watch other people's play throughs just to skip around to the breaker box content :/

Spoilers for realisation

When they were objects their bodies were more for your sake than theirs, so once they're humans and their bodies react negative/positively towards influence both Eddie and Volt take advantage of this in their own way.

Volt starts working out, for no aesthetic reason, he just enjoys the practice. At first the idea of living as his own person and not an extension of Eddie was overwhelming, but there are parts of being human that he's starting to find very charming, one of them being physical exercise, the 'runners high' so to say is something that reminds him, if only for a moment, of when he was made of electricity. Being human and getting tired is nice, but he does miss the endless energy some times.

Along with Eddie's cooking (he's phenomenal without even trying, and his ingredients are always locally sourced if possible) Volts new routine has kept his body pretty much the same from his object days. He also discovered bubble baths, he quickly became infatuated with baths. Glittery bath bombs, candles, a book if he's feeling it. He'll come out of the bathroom after like an hour smelling like roses and fairy queefs or whatever, Eddie pokes a bit of fun at it, but he secretly really likes the smell.

Volt has a pretty quick temper when someone pushes the right buttons, and now that his social batteries are capable of running out it's even easier for him to get pissed off, he rants (very Britishly) at dinner sometimes and that's Eddie's que to run him a bath, it's like magic. Volt fell asleep in one once and Eddie nearly had a heart attack, since then Eddie has instated time limits for Volt.

CW: discussions of weight and skipped meals

Eddie however doesn't waste his time with purposeful exercise, he gets enough of it while working, hauling lumber from work trucks to in repair houses, and general handy man work keeps him moving plenty. Still his weight is known to fluctuate, if Volt (or you) are on his ass enough, making sure he eats at least two full meals a day, get enough sleep, ect, he gains a bit from his object form. It's not noticeable to anyone who doesn't regularly see him shirtless, but he gains weight in raw muscle, in contrast to Volts more purposeful toning. Now that his chronic pain has lessened he takes full advantage of his new found ability to enjoy working, now that his and his loves lives don't depend on his ability, it starts to become rather fun, he even gets an eye for aesthetics (he doesn't, he just gets good at guessing what Volt would tell him to do). So his arms fill out his shirts a bit better and the oddly perfect sculpting of his dateviator given body smooths over a little, work given muscle giving him a nice padding. It makes him even more enjoyable to cuddle with and Volt comments positively on his weight gain, saying how proud/happy it makes him to see Eddie with a little more color in his face and meat on his bones. (If anyone, *anyone* mentions Eddie's weight gain in a negative light, weather it be online or in real life, no matter how minor, Volt will actually punch them, he does not care, if he could still turn blue, he would. His love is finally taking proper care of himself and some random asshole is degrading him because of meaningless aesthetics??? They're dead, that is the last thing they will ever say).

However some times he gets back into that old mindset, the voice in his head telling him that if he isn't perfect then something bad will happen to Volt, that the weight of their lives still lands squarely on his shoulders (it was never a burden he lifted alone) and he over works himself, missing lunch breaks (which is the only meal Volt can't enforce) and staying out late. He might even wake and leave before Volt wakes up in the mornings. When this happens he loses weight fast, the missed meals and physical exertion make quick work of fat and muscle alike. At one point he ends up in worse condition than when first realised and Volt has to physically block him from working just to get him to talk to him. It's hard for them to communicate properly after realisation, it used to be inherent, if Eddie felt something so did Volt, now Volt had to make educated guesses, and he got it wrong a few times, but once he finally gets Eddie to talk to him, he makes it his mission to set things right. Volt talks for a solid 40 minutes about how Eddie isn't alone in this, he never was, and "does all that work I did for you and the breaker box mean nothing?? Am I chopped liver??" Pure British indignation. After it Eddie somehow feels better and worse, he likes knowing for a fact that he and Volt are a partner ship, and that Volt cares as much as he does, but he feels awful for dismissing all the work Volt did for him. In the end he apologizes (as well as Eddie is capable of) and instead of coddling him like he once might have, Volt simply tells him to "make it up to me". He really should have thought of guilt tripping Eddie earlier (/j), he gets at least a week of three full meals a day out of it, and the only reason it stops working is because Volt starts to feel bad for it and let's up on him a little. Eddie still slips back into the mindset sometimes, but Volt's learned the signs, reading his body language instead of his mind like he once used to, and no matter how many times it takes, Volt never stops telling him they're a team, that he's in this till the end. And slowly, Eddie starts to believe it. Slowly.

Woah, let's get a little more light hearted here. This might be self indulgent, but I feel like Eddie would get his ears pierced. A small gem, blueish white like Volts hair (if you're in the picture, he'd miss match them, the other side being your favorite color).

Volt would absolutely not get piercings, as an object pain was sort of fuzzy and dull, now as a human so many things hurt and it's so hard to keep track of, especially with Eddie's constant pain removed from his senses, somehow that makes things hurt more for Volt?? He doesn't understand it. He might toy with red hair dye though... Totally his own idea, nothing to do with Eddie's natural highlights.

Their hair grows in the unnatural colors, Eddie has those strips of red no matter what, unless he dyes them, and Volts hair is almost unnaturally platinum. Although as someone with dyed hair I do feel an affinity for the idea of Volt's hair growing in blonde, and Eddie's almost black, and they both feel really weird about it, so they have nights like twice a month where they do each other's roots, and Volt makes them do hair masks or smth so they don't dry their hair the fuck out (really he does them and Eddie makes fun of it so he makes Eddie do one and it's just a routine now). More points if the player also has hair dye or perm or whatever and they have hair care parties.

Eddie discovers 'Lucifer' the show, and it reminds him so much of Volt. Sometimes Volt goes on trips for his marketing and sometimes Eddie comes and sometimes he doesn't, and he always thinks he'll be fine and it'll be fun to have the house/apartment to himself (assuming you're not there or with them, maybe Volt gets two tickets for every trip so he has to choose you or Eddie and you take turns) but Eddie will end up missing him almost immediately, he'll have one afternoon where he orders pizza and puts his feet on the sofa or smth and then he'll call Volt, but since it's a work trip he can't always talk, so Eddie just binges the fuck out of 'Lucifer'. He hates Chloe because he's jealous to the point of ridiculousness. Volt never finds out, but if you do then you watch it with him and start to see the similarities too. Neither of you can hear 'Creep' by radio head without thinking about Volt because of that one episode, even though you both know he would find that song stupid, and has an awful singing voice.

Still I think he absolutely destroys at drunk karaoke.

Neither of them could really get drunk as objects, either because objects can't digest or because they both were so worked at all moments that they couldn't let go like that, so once they turn human they have a few nights testing the limits. Eddie is a quiet and clingy drunk, he gets a little sappy too. And Volt is a fucking animal, he's endlessly horny and has absolutely no inhibitions, Eddie absolutely has a shitty video of Volt doing that stereotype thing where someone dances on a table with a tie around their head, it's one of the only things that can embarrass Volt (he still feels weird/guilty letting his composure down).

Eddie starts to dress with only practically in mind, plain T-shirts, overalls, maybe like two suits for dinners where he has to look fancy for Volt (#trophy wife). But he really doesn't care, he has some gag gifts too, like sweat pants that say 'juicy' on the ass (which he looks way to damned good in) and shirts with shitty comic sands 'the pain is chronic but the tits are iconic' in like Barbi pink letters. He got them from Volt, you, or some dateables that keep in touch, and he wears them to bed/around the house. They're comfortable, and that's all he'll say whenever you or Volt comment on it.

That is all. (I genuinely looked up who voiced Volt when I first played the game because it reminded me so heavily of Lucifer, I might rewatch the fucking show because of this brain rot... Au with Volt as Lucifer and Eddie as Chloe??? Dude if someone writes that **please** tag me, pleaseee)

Asks are open, I'll do little blurbs like this for fandoms I've already written about, or full fics on my ao3 (in my bio).

[axei]

Fandom: Date Everything

More Eddie and Volt head canons, this one is rather misc, spoilers/set in after realisation.

This is just random shit I'm gonna write as I think of it. Immediate stuff can be slightly suggestive, there'll be a warning before the NSFW stuff though. SFW stuff is reader light and GN, NSFW stuff has heavy reader involvement and male top reader.

Volt loves having real hair, I mean Eddie does too, since maintaining it (and having it played with/pulled on) is easier with actual hair, but Volt really likes it. Before realisation you could still touch it, it would feel kind of like touching the screen of one of those really old TV's that only played VHS's (all fuzzy), but it didn't have... Structure, your hand would faze right through it. Now that it can be touched he much prefers it, bro brushes it every night before bed like a middle school girl. He also learns braiding, though he's not very good, the mirror trips him up because it reflects backwards. (He learns how to braid specifically to braid a strand of red thread into his hair like Eddie's died strips, if you're involved he'd also do your favorite color/hair color). He also puts in up a lot, the feeling of it on his neck is sort of odd sometimes, so while he's getting used to it, it goes in a pony tail a good amount of the time.

Eddie learns how to braid to have an excuse to play with Volts hair. When he's going to shower and wash his hair he has to take the thread out and Eddie always awkwardly offers to do it for him (you also take turns doing it for him) so Volt will sit on the floor by the bed or something and either you or Eddie will undo the braid and brush his hair for him, he just likes being pampered.

Eddie (and you if you have/have the right texture of hair) do little threads too, if you know how to braid than you teach Eddie, if you don't than you watch YouTube together to figure it out. You have a bit of blue/white for Volt and deep red for Eddie, he has same as Volt but the white/blue instead of red. Neither of you tell Volt you're going to do it, you just do, he notices immediately and gushes over it/makes fun of Eddie (and you if you're more like Eddie) about it for ever (it's his way of saying he likes it, like cuteness aggression).

Volt really likes water, Eddie could interact with river before realisation, so it's not that new for him, showering every day (lets be honest, every two days, maybe more if he's over working) is a bit odd but other than that he doesn't notice it. Volt however? If he were to touch river before realisation the entire house would lose power and river would get a nasty shock, along with everything else touching her. So when he's finally a human and he can touch water??? He showers every day, he loves it, he spends like 40 minutes in there at least, he prefers it fucking boiling (Eddie (or you) don't mind because it makes him all flushed when he gets out) and shit like swimming??? You take him to the beach or a pool??? You'd think he'd be the mom tanning in one of those chairs, throwing the little toys or whatever but no, he's the one bringing the rings back to you or Eddie to throw for him to dive to go get, he absolutely loves the feeling of water. He has to have an armor of sun screen though, Eddie tans really nicely, but Volt is not getting any darker, just red.

Before realisation Volt doesn't produce heat, he doesn't have blood after all, just electricity, which does have a heat by product but not much, like touching an LED bulb, there's a little heat but... Not really. It only gets worse when he's realised, for some reason he just does not produce heat, Eddie runs very warm however so they're a great match, Volt is the type to stick his cold fucking hands up Eddie's shirt or something just to regain some feeling. Their house is at like 75 (fahrenheit) and they both argue that it's too hot and too cold.

Kinda on the last one, Volt sleeps in long pants, sweats or like the fuzzy plaid ones, he'll sleep in hoodies (probably Eddie's) in the winner if need be. Eddie however sleeps in shorts and a t shirt at most, in the summer it's no shirt and depending on how hot it gets he might not even wear the shorts. They're a duvet x unfitted sheet kind of pair.

Also with Volt taking Eddie's clothes, Eddie says he hates it but he buys over sized just so they can fit Volt (they're still a little tight, really, those two have an insane size difference, y'all, height and bulk).

NSFW

Reader heavily involved, male reader, top reader, bottom Eddie, switch Volt.

CW: I refer to Volt as a whore/slut, it's out of love and just a joke, but if that kind of language isn't your thing I get it, none of that for Eddie's stuff though.

Before realisation they were connected, pain as well as pleasure, it was a little more faint than if it was happening to them, but definitely recognizable. They realised this when during a show you railed Eddie in an employees only room, Volt was hosting when it hit, he had to go on like everything was normal, but everyone in the club that night assumed he was in a bad mood because he was oddly short with everyone, no one brought it up, but he would have played it off if they did. After that Volt told you both what happened and you would tease him or Eddie by doing something to/with the other in eye sight of the second (think kissing the back of their neck or touching their ass/front casually), it was always obvious with Eddie as he'd go bright red, it was more subtle with Volt though, his posture would get impossibly better, or he'd flex his hands. It just makes it all the more satisfying when after the show he'd ask you what you think you were doing, and then kiss you like a starving man.

Like I said in the warning: Eddie is a bottom, Volt is a switch. Volt is whatever he needs to be to make who ever he's with feel good, but he's found with you that being a power bottom is quite fun, making you do all the work and mixing praise with requests. Eddie is a full bottom, sorry but that man does not have a dominant bone in his body, he might top if you asked really nicely but he'd be really awkward and self conscious the whole time, he needs someone to tell him to stop over thinking and let himself feel good.

That being said, Eddie is a little difficult to get to cum, he wants to, he does, but he has that pressure of wanting to make you feel good, and feel like you made him feel good, that be just gets in his own head too much. The best way to get him out of this is praise, a "fuck, baby, you feel so damned good" under your breath, it does wonders. He always hates asking for any kind of reassurance but Volt will tell you he needs it, in a lot of contexts. He can't feel like he'd being coddled though, it has to feel natural, he knows when you're saying something because you mean it, or because you think he wants to hear it. The best way to overstimulate him, or get him all fucked out, is edging, he has a pretty shit refractory time and once he's cums he just wants to fall asleep to the sound of your breathing, so you have to keep him right on the edge, he'll curse at you but you both know you'd stop if he asked, and yet he never does. You fuck into him until that one moment where his thrusts start to studer, and then you stop, dead in your tracks, cock half way out of him, if it's the first time he'll curse at you "what the fuck do you think you're doing?!", but once you start back up again, slow and soft at just the right angle he groans into the back of his hand, all the skin on his face, ears, neck, even shoulders and chest are flushed a pretty pink. If it's the second, third, sometimes you can even get him to four times stopping right before he cums, he'll slowly get less and less combative, if it's the third or fourth he'll whine low and breathy when you stop. He knows you'll only give him what he wants if he begs, and eventually you can get him to the place where he does, his eyes slightly teary, his voice cracking with every movement of your hips, and he'll concede, asking as nicely as he can for you to please not stop, " fucking please, ok?! Please just..." The roughness in his voice cracks and groans under his breath "just let me cum". He'll never admit it but the way you pamper and clean him after makes him feel so fucking special, he adores it.

Volt (just like Eddie) is really easy to get hard, any heavy innuendo or suggestive comment will have him chasing for more, especially physical contact, do that shit where you pass behind him and you put your hand on his lower back? He's finding you the second you're alone. That's where the similarities stop between him and his other half, Volt cums easy, a weaker man than him would be embarrassed but he wears it so well "you're just so talented, live wire, how am I supposed to help myself?", you can get him off with a damn good kiss and a knee between his thighs, he'll grind down, and moan into your mouth without a hint of shame, he revels in feeling you grow hard because of him. He's a whore and show off (affectionate). He has none of Eddie's shyness, and an annoying amount of control, even with your dick up his ass or down his throat. He's very praise forward, mostly because of Eddie, but he reassures in a very natural way, moaning your praises and complimenting your body. While Eddie prefer's having you close and being able to kiss your lips (think Missionary, or really anything front facing) Volt (at least in the beginning of your relationship) prefers quick and nasty, he likes the feeling of being bent over something, having hickeys left on the back of his neck, if you lay your head in between his shoulder blades while you fuck him he'll fall in love on the spot. He's also a slut for holding hands during, hold the back of his hand to your palm and intertwine your fingers while at a slower pace and see just how loud he can get. He also smile/laughs a lot during, not in a mean way, he's just oddly giddy while being railed. Now what we've all been waiting for: how to crack that composure? As I said, he cums easy, and especially before realisation but also after. He has an insane drive and very short refractory time. So Occam's Razer, my friend, just get him off. The longer you can last the better, making him cum twice or even three times before you do, then sucking him off to get you hard again, switching between positions and praising him for how good he's being for you, he isn't used to being man handled, as usually he's the one dominating, so a little "God, the pretty sounds you make for me" or "you take me so well, baby" will get him out of his comfort zone (in a good way) also getting him to cum without touching his dick, while a little more difficult, gets him all fucked out faster. After he's came three times, four, he'll start making less since, moaning louder and talking more. After five or six? He's fucking gone, his voice is ragged and cracking, and his hips jut down to meet yours frantically. Once you've decided he's had enough he's clingy as all hell, barely letting you clean him properly before laying with him. He usually prefers being the big spoon but he almost always wants you to hold him after, if you pepper small kisses across his neck and shoulders as he's falling asleep he'll smile and mumble something about how good you are to him (you can hear the smile in his voice, even if you aren't facing him). In the morning after the first time this all happens he avoids you (assuming this is after realisation) because he's embarrassed, he feels like he let you down somehow, like losing his composure made it worse for you, but if you tell him just how fucking hot you actually found it he'll lighten up on the act/mask a bit, and after a few times this happens he'll wake you up with a kiss, and a hard on. He truly is impossible to tire.

Now, the real question: what's that Eddie, Volt sandwich like?

Eddie is the most likely to be in the middle, one of you taking him from the back and the other either letting him fuck their throat or if it's Volt their ass. It started as a way to tire him enough to make him sleep in his over working days, but even after that it was obvious it's the easiest way to get Eddie extremely flustered and over stimulated, he'll never admit it but he's nearly crying by the end of just one round. You tried edging him once like that but it was genuinely too much for him, he didn't say anything until after but you and Volt both noticed in the moment and stopped for a second, the morning after you had a talk about boundaries and how he needs to be better at setting them, he's much better now, but having mind reader Volt on his side makes it easier.

Volt in the middle. This was yours and Eddie's idea to crack his mask, as this was before you knew how to properly overstimulate him, and Eddie had never gotten him to crack. You both brought it up to him and he took it in stride (the bastard) he honestly thought it was rather amusing, and the attention of you both kissing on him made him shine. However having Eddie painting and whining under him while you fucked into his prostate, his overused cock throbbing in protest and need was a little more than even he could handle. Cumming in Eddie because of your cock inside him was what tipped him the rest of the way, he becomes rather ramble-y when he's overstimulated, where Eddie gets quiet he starts talking more, although it doesn't always make a lot of since, praises and curses and moans, neither Eddie or you know who they're meant for, although neither of you care enough to figure it out in the moment.

You in the middle. If you're ok with bottoming then Volt will take you while you fuck Eddie, similar as with Volt in the middle but with you switched. If you don't like that (I don't) or really either of them don't feel like it either, there's always good old fashioned cuckholding. It's the most fun before realisation, when they share feelings and you could make Volt watch you fuck Eddie while hitting his own prostate from five feet away like a blue tooth succubus, but even after realisation it's still amazing. Making one watch, not letting them touch themselves, "showing you how I'm gonna make you cum once I'm done with him". Volt likes being the one you're fucking more, he likes showing off, watching Eddie's cock strain against his pants as he desperately looks anywhere but at where your hips meet. It's the hardest he'll ever blush. Eddie gets a little self conscious when he's the one you're fucking, having all this attention on him has the opposite affect on him as it does Volt, but you and Volt don't let it get to him. Volt will grind against the chair under him and moan Eddie's and your name, if you notice Eddie becoming a little despondent you make him look over at Volt and kiss his neck, muttering into just under his ear "look how hard you make him, you haven't even touched him and he's already begging for you" if Volt can manage to hold Eddie's eye contact while you fuck into him it'll get Eddie hornier than he can bare. You find however, that no matter who you're fucking and who's watching, if the person watching has a dildo or plug in, so every shift against the chair hits them just right, that's the best, you've gotten Volt to cum just from that, and once you get a remote controlled one? So you can make it vibrate faster or slower in time with your thrusts? It's fucking over for who ever ends up in that chair.

I know I say this every time but Christ this was longer than I thought it'd be, hope this isn't too much word salad for y'all (no ones gonna read this). My asks are open btw, I do commissions for these head canon/blurbs and full fics on my ao3. Just drop an ask for any fandom I've posted about (I'll consider pairings I haven't written about from fandoms I have).

[axei]

Reblog if you're okay with people coming into your dms or ask box with storylines and rp ideas!

[axei]

Spoilers for Eddie/Volt love ending

His name is Eddie... I couldn't figure out the pun, everyone else has puns... Eddie, Edison... Thomas Edison... The eventer of the light bulb. Idk if everyone else knew this already, but I haven't heard anyone talk about it and I needed it to be said. The eventer of electricity.

[axei]

Fandom: Date Everything

More Eddie and Volt head canons, these two will be the death of me. Spoilers for realisation, reader mentioned, mostly platonic, some parts can be seen as romantic/life partner-y.

What would these too do in their down time after realisation? When they were human and had free reign with hobbies?

Eddie would absolutely hate the idea of "down time" but after you and Volt force him to sit down for a while, he'd probably like anything to do with his hands. He'd like old people shit like whittling or something. I don't think he'd like technology very much, the idea of video games would seem stupid to him, why put in all that work if you don't get anything? But if he had to play I think it'd be something survival horror, like resident evil or the last of us, he'd play it on the hardest difficulty because of resource management, he'd be such a horder. I also think he'd like books, but probably in audio format so he can do something while listening. He used to feel pain when working but after realisation a lot of that has left (not all of it, fatigue and joint pain are still in play, just less than his breaker box days) so he'd love doing things that require a lot of detail, (like whittling) because it hurts so much less than it used to. (He'd also be a fidgeter, bro always has to have something in his hands)

Volt is pretty much the opposite, he had so much energy when he was... The embodiment of energy, so being human and having a finite about of charge is very odd at first, he'd have to learn to pace himself and when he gets tired it hits him like a truck. Before realisation he was a very light sleeper but now that he's human he'll conk the fuck out. (Eddie is a heavy sleeper no matter what). Once Volt gets tired it's over, man's loves his naps, like a 20 minute "power nap" is one of his favorite things, around like 3:00 he'll get really tired out of no where and have to sleep for a few minutes. His social battery also has a cap now, he used to be able to talk for hours with people he didn't even like but now if someone is getting on his nerves he has to force the customer service voice. This also means he can sit in silence now, Eddie has gotten more talkative since becoming human and Volt while still loving a good conversation, he's ok with just sitting in the silence, when it would make him wildly uncomfortable before. This also means he doesn't stay up late, he can try to stay up past like 11 but he'll get sort of dopey tired and clingy. This also means he is capable of falling asleep during a movie (even though he hates doing it, he sees it as an insult to who ever he's watching with).

Back to the actual fucking question, he would love reality TV, and social media, just for the drama without consequences (again, projecting, but youtubers like Filmcooper would be his guilty pleaser). Also video games on the switch would be his favorite, animal crossing, Super Mario, that kind of thing, he'd be weirdly good at Mario cart and super smash brothers. He really wants to be good at cooking but for some reason he just can't, standing in one place and stirring something for 20 minutes is just not his thing, he's pretty damn good at baking though, being able to leave something to rise and then come back in 30 minutes is more his style. Eddie however is a weirdly good cook, his attention to detail and timelyness makes him great at it, and Volt loves watching him. They have a "you cook, I clean" set up, but Eddie always tries to help with dishes anyway (if you're in the picture, you get to choose if you wanna help Eddie with food or Volt with clean up, if you're better at cooking than Eddie he will learn dutifully, if not sarcastically, and if you're worse and just like... Chop stuff for him he'll make fun of you like when you were helping in the breaker box, but if you burn/cut yourself he will be on it immediately, even if you say it doesn't hurt. Volt will do everything in his power to keep you from helping with clean up "No reason to get up, live wire! Relax for once, allow us to care for you, this time" he does it every night.)

[axei]

Fandom: Date Everything

Ok, ok, breaker box boys music head canons, I mentioned this is my movies head canons but you don't have to have seen that to read this.

Realization spoilers, player mentioned in platonic way, I mention my last post about what kind of movies they'd like.

Once you realise the boys what kind of music would they like? I'm split on this because I feel like they both would be ok with pretty much anything (although I think Eddie would hate country just on principal, he's a hater).

If they were to go it an actual club I think they'd both be ok with or even kind of like club music, you know, stuff with lots of base about sex en shit, for Eddie it'd just be background white noise, for Volt I think he'd like the atmosphere, he'd feel really confident in the flashing lights and barely audible conversation.

As for what music they'd like when they're just doin' shit and don't wanna sit in silence: I saw someone say Eddie likes dad rock and I agree, he'd really like political music too, ( I might be projecting but these are the bands I think he'd like) shit like Green Day is a given, but for more modern examples I think Moon Walker and Seb Lowe would be his speed, loud with electric guitar but that says something (think 'Monopoly Money' by Moon Walker, 'Ode To Breanna' by Seb Lowe, or even 'Carry on my Way Ward Son' but someone else would have to introduce him to it), also Ren, just stuff that sounds cool when you're not really listening but that has a good message too. Also I think he has a damn good singing voice but he has to be alone or really fucking drunk to sing. If he's doing maintenance on som'it and has shit playing in the background he's singing along, muttering if he's focusing hard.

Volt is a little more difficult for me, mainly because he doesn't really have a personality in canon, he was made from Eddie for Eddie. If you just put bro in a room alone I genuinely could not tell you what he would be doing. His entire thing is bouncing off of other people, taking care of Eddie, or being burnt the fuck out (I head canon that while you're doing repairs with Eddie in game Volt is pretty much dying in their flat upstairs, because when the power surges it doesn't just effect Eddie but Volt too, so Eddie rests while Volt hosts and Volt rests while Eddie works). So giving him something like a music taste that doesn't involve Eddie or the reader is a little difficult, and I think Volt would feel the same way, he would have to adjust to being human, and living for himself instead of surviving for Eddie, so he'd probably listen to whatever you or Eddie like for a while, but I think he'd be slowly drawn to jazz, or really anything smooth. Not old people jazz either, (well older jazz) but I'm thinking 'Moonlight Serenade' by Glenn Miller (projecting, I love that song) or if he wants something with words 'Lucifer, My Love' by Twin Temple, or even some Sam Cooke, maybe 'Twistin' The Night Away'? Like how Eddie likes old gunslingers and the twilight zone type shit I think Volt would prefer older music, stuff that makes you wanna dance, as canonically Volt likes dancing.

Honestly I just don't think Volt would like music- I feel like he's a podcast kind of person, or he's just always on a phone call, if he's cooking or doing something with his hands he'll have someone on speaker phone (you or Eddie) and talk their ear off about whatever he's thinking about (Eddie loves it). True crime podcasts are also something I think he'd like, he'd like reality TV and documentaries so the next step feels like it'd be true crime podcasts, although he might get a kick out of something like The Magnus Archives, but I think Eddie would find that more interesting, but something about it feels like it would unnerve the both of them a bit.

The same way Volt doesn't really get Eddie's love for horror movies, Eddie would absolute not understand Volt's love for true crime, it'd make Eddie paranoid as shit to the point that Volt would make sure to always wear headphones.

Speaking of headphones, Eddie would use wired, Volt would use wireless. They would debate/argue about it too, Volt would argue convince and Eddie would argue that it was "weird" even after someone explains how blue tooth works, he'd still not like it. Like those people who don't use microwaves because it freaks them out, that's Eddie. He likes wires, he used to be wires, he understands wires.

(Speaking on that, I do think Eddie would have the "back in my day" type rants about new shit, like lububus orwhateverthefuck would absolutely kill him. Volt would be super in tune with social media as he is a manager and he'd also look at trends en shit just to see whatever bull crap people are on about this week on tiktok or whatever, just so he could tell Eddie and watch him lose his mind. Eddie isn't one of those "we used to build houses and hunt animals" people, he just doesn't understand a lot of new stuff and thus thinks it's stupid. But like animated movies, once he sees something that is actually good and he understands it, then he'd consed that it's "not awful" or some half assed shit)

[axei]

Fandom: One Piece

To apologize for my last one piece post, here are all the songs that remind me of one piece characters/dynamics, all the characters will have their own warnings and reasonings.

Luffy: 'Little Lion Man' by Mumford&sons, no warnings, slight angst, spoilers for marineford and sabaody

This song reminds me of Luffy, specifically right after sabaody, the darker side of Luffy that we only really see then and after Ace dies, "Weep little lion man, you'll never be as brave as you were at the start" being the main message and theme that reminds me of him, the idea that his travels are slowly weighing on him as time goes on. I also see him as sort of a little brother, so the "it was not your fault but mine" I feel both for myself and Ace, like we're both his older brothers that failed to properly protect him. Lines like "your boldness stands among the wreck" and "spend your days biting your own neck" just remind me of him out of the context of the song as well.

second Luffy song 'Cigarette Daydream' by cage the elephant

This is another one that reminds me of marineford, "hide behind your baby face", "you were only seventeen", and " you wanna find peace of mind, looking for the answers" are all so Luffy reminisct for me, especially the last one, as I see his need to find the one piece as a kind of coping mechanism, "funny how it seems like yesterday", " you were only seventeen" "so sweet, with a mean streak" all being about Ace's death, especially "nearly brought me to my knees". "If we can find a reason [...] to change, if you can find a reason [...] to stay, looking for the answer[...]" The straw hats as a whole change on their quest for the one piece, while Luffy doesn't change, it's just his reason to stay.

Last one for Luffy, 'Don't Stop Me Now' by queen

I don't really think I need to explain this one, just listen to the song with Luffy in mind.

Zoro: 'Mine/Yours' by wilbur soot, (wilbur is awful and I don't condone him, but his music is still damn good... So I pirate it) no warnings.

This one is from the perspective of a lover, probably Sanji, if we're being honest, it can be seen as unrequited love or just Zoro being very stoic.

"You never liked me when drunk, I start to believe, you never liked me at all, and so I agree, and I'll say "fuck you", because I know if I don't, I'll probably say, something stupid and true" this is my favorite part of the song and most of where the Zoro imagery comes from, it's just so him, especially with Sanji in the 'So I'll say "fuck you" part'. "I stand just out of reach of your fists, [...] And dance around the subject [...]" Zoro is the embodiment of miscommunication, and that will the alcoholic mention, idk, I'm a simple man. "I take you for granted, because the alternative's far more alarming" more Zosan, they're so unhealthy. I adore them.

Nami: 'Moral Compass' by Lillian VanDaam (one of the more niche songs on the list, go listen, her music is really good) no warnings, mild spoilers for arlong park.

"It’s hard to love a sailor, it’s hard to love a ghost It’s hard to love a siren, they just want to take your clothes It’s hard to look in the mirror A burning memory of how I left everybody and they all let me leave" this is when Nami first joined the crew, before arlong park when she was planing to leave them, like everyone she took advantage of before. "North, East, South, West This star-coated sky has been mapping my mess" the idea that Nami hated mapping for a while, because every map she drew was drawn with memories of the people she left behind in those places. "But I did nothing wrong, it was siren songI just went along with the waves [...] And you were lying too What was I to do The water’s so tempting, felt closer to emptyThere’s plеnty of reasons to choose not to stay My compass has always been pointed thе wrong way" Nami defending her choice to leave the crew, telling them that she never cared, and she wasn't worth going after. Here's a quick fire of lyrics I wanted to include: "It’s hard to feel this way, blame the roughness of the waves I know you’re only mad to try to save some face", "I never drew maps on where I wanted to sailI never drew maps but I didn’t expect to fail so carelessly", "That time I spent running turned me into a fantasy". There's more, but really just listen to the song yourself, you'll understand.

Second Nami song 'For Misha' by Nicholas podnay, another niche one, listen to it

This song is mostly for live action Nami. I still like her in the anime but something about her in the live action, maybe it's just because I was older when I watched it for the first time but I feel such a protective instinct towards her. The entire song reminds me of her but specifically "They'll their hearts up with your name till they can drift away and leave Louisiana", "but my hearts somewhere in the ocean, and my names somewhere up in the blue, but still my love is oh so sweetly, with you", and " give your all, to everything you want to, and it'll give it's all to you" are just so... Perfectly her, I genuinely don't know how to explain it, it's just the concept of a traveler who leaves a bit of herself everywhere she leaves behind, and it's very Nami esq. Also "keep on giving, giving till your through, and when you do, I'll be standing right with you" reads as Luffy to Nami.

Ussop: 'Johnny Boy' by twenty one pilots. No warnings. This one doesn't really make since so I'm just gonna give you the parts that do

"The man deserves a medal, but he's never really won a prize before" this could either be him talking about himself, or someone else talking about him, honestly it works either way, he does get a lot of shit, that he doesn't always deserve. "He has fallen in love, he knows it's enough, and the world looks down and frowns" this is where most of the recognition comes from for me, because he's the only straw hat with a canon relationship, and everyone kinda shits on him all the time. Also the "get up Johnny boy [...] Because the world has left you lying on the ground" part feels very ussop to me for some reason. Again just listen to the song, there's more.

Another for Ussop: 'The Main Character' by will wood, this one makes far more sense to me. The general cockyness and particularly lines like "Stockholm lust just looks like justice", " beating my dead high horse off the high road to low ground, cause if you shake your fists and snakes and grass it looks like punching down. So god forbid I'm seen as just an average human being", "I'm the gap between the tragedy and comedy, [...] I'm the main character and you have to like me" it all sounds so much like ussop to me, and the entire song is like that.

Sanji: 'Good Old Fashioned Lover Boy' by queen, no warnings

Come on now. "Iearnt my passion in the good old fassioned school of lover boys"... Need I say more? " I can dim the lights and song you songs full of sad things, we can do the tango just for two"... Come on. This is more live action Sanji admittedly, cuz anime Sanji does not have that kind of rizz, but my point stands. "Set my alarm, put on my charm", " I'd like for you and I to go romancing", "say the word, your wish is my command, ohh lover, ooh, lover boy" I rest my case

Robin: 'Killer Queen' by queen, no warnings

This one could go for Nami too, but robin just has that fem fetal feeling to her, especially when she worked for crocodile. Lines like "caviar and cigarettes, well versed in etiquette, extraordinarily nice" feel so much like beginning anime robin.

Brook: 'Piano Man' by Billy Joel. No warnings implied Zosan and namiviv

I made a fanfic about this once, it's one of my oldest so idk if it's any good but my ao3 account is in my bio if you want more indepth about this, but anyway here's all the people mentioned in piano man and who they are in one piece. Brook is the piano man obviously, 'theres an old man sitting next to me, making love to his tonic and gin' is Zoro and the "memory" he asks Brook to play is Kuina, "Now John at the bar is a friend of mine [...] He's quick with a joke, or to light up your smoke, but there's somewhere that he'd rather be" is Sanji, when he says 'I could be a movie star, if I could get out of this place' it's him referencing Zoro, Sanji wants to be a father and a husband but he can't stop his feelings for the other man, "paul is a real estate novelist, who never had time for a wife" that's Nami, and the wife she never had time for is Vivi, 'And he's talking to Davy, who's still in the navy, and probably Will be for life' this could be coby, and I like that idea, but I prefer it being about Ussop, and "the Navy" being his cowardes, like a Brook who just met everyone and doesn't know Ussop's story yet, thinking "ussop, who's a coward, and probably will be for life", 'the waitress is practicing politics' is robin and 'the business men slowly get stoned' is Franky, (also chopper, Franky thought it would be funny to give

The rest are multiple people/dynamics

Monster trio: 'Soldier, Poet, King' by the oh hellos. No warnings or spoilers

This one has been done to death but I still want to say it for myself. "There will come a soldier who carries a mighty sword" Zoro "there will be a poet who's weapon is their word" Sanji, and "there will come a ruler who's brow is layed in thorn" Luffy.

Luffy, Ace, and Sabo: 'Seven Years' by Lukas Graham, no warnings, spoilers for marineford. This one has also been done to death but still

"Once I was seven years old, my momma told me " go make yourself some friends or you'll be lonely" Luffy was seven when he and his brothers met for the first time, he was also incredibly lonely. "It was a big, big world but we thought we were bigger, pushing each other to the limits we were learning quicker" is their dynamic to the T. "I always had that dream, like my daddy before me" could be for Luffy or Ace, Ace wanting to conquer the seas like Roger and Luffy wanting to liberate like Dragon. 'I only see my goals, I don't believe in failure' take your pick, it works for all of them. The whole song works but I wanna point out 'and I had to leave some behind, my brother I'm still sorry" is perfect for Luffy after Aces death.

Also 'Soldier, Poet, King' works really well for them too, but instead of Zoro it's Ace, for Sanji it's Sabo, and Luffy's still at the end. You could possibly switch Luffy and Ace and it would work well because Ace is the pirate kings son.

Also I made a post about it before this one but 'Shrike' by Hozier for zosan, the post is really indepth about it.

[axei]

Fandom: One Piece

Back with another fictional gay people to song lyrics, spoilers for whole cake island. This is angst btw, heavy angst, no comfort.

TW: suicide

Zosan with 'Shrike' by Hozier, let me explain. An AU where everything goes wrong and Zoro has to make good on the promise he made to Sanji on WCI

"I couldn't utter my love when it counted Ah, but I'm singing like a bird 'bout it now I couldn't whisper when you needed it shouted Ah, but I'm singing like a bird 'bout it now" this is from Zoro's POV to Sanji, maybe the reason that everything went so wrong was because Sanji had feelings for Zoro, feelings that neither of them new how to express, maybe if Zoro hadn't hidden his affection, maybe if he had been proud, maybe he if had loved him the way Sanji deserved to be loved. Maybe things could have gone differently.

"[...] Remember me, love, When I'm reborn, As the shrike to your sharp, And glorious thorn" this is Sanji, the real Sanji, his last thoughts. Shrike's are a kind of bird that impale their pray on the thorns of plants, Sanji asks Zoro to remember him when he comes back to him, when he relies on Zoro's swords once more.

"And I'd no idea on what ground I was founded, All of that goodness is goin' with you now" Zoro's response, he may have been a good man once, he may have had honor, but the man who faced Mihawks blade head on to avoid the dishonor of scars on his back is not the same coward who killed his love.

"Then when I met you, my virtues uncounted, All of my goodness is goin' with you now" when they met Sanji was a bright, hopeful young man, he was full of dreams, now, because of Zoro, he'll never be that boy again.

"Hung like the pelt, Of some prey you had worn, [...] As a shrike to your sharp, And glorious thorn" Sanji, hanging limp from Wado, just like every other Zoro had struck down, impaled on a thorn.

"[...] Ah, but I'm flying like a bird to you now [...]" Zoro promising he'll see Sanji again, when he See's Kuina, when he flies like a bird to the two people he failed.

"I was housed by your warmth, Thus transformed, By you're grounded and giving, And darkening scorn" Zoro was changed by Sanji, he can no longer brush this off, he can no longer keep going stoically.

Here I think of the beginning again "I couldn't utter my love when it counted Ah, but I'm singing like a bird 'bout it now I couldn't whisper when you needed it shouted Ah, but I'm singing like a bird 'bout it now" Zoro at Sanji funeral, telling the crew what Sanji meant to him, it won't bring Sanji back, but maybe it will fix some tiny part of the damage he's caused

"As a shrike to your sharp, And glorious thorn" the end of the song, the last time this motif is repeated, but it's no longer Sanji hanging on the thorn, it's Zoro, as the shame and guilt catches up to him, and he commits seppuku after Sanji's funeral.

For added angst, image Luffy lashes out at Zoro, as he doesn't understand why Zoro did what he did, insisting that they could've helped Sanji, they could've fixed him. And then later he (or even chopper) is the one to find Zoro's body.

They bury him next to Sanji. (Nami has to write to Zeff, to tell him what happened. Zoro doesn't have anyone to write too, the straw hats where his only family).

Thanks for coming to my Ted talk, sorry, that being said: there will be no refunds provided. :]

Also bonus second song 'Arms Tonight's by Mother Mother, it's Sanji's POV of all this.