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bigasscontinent · 21 days ago

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6.04.2025 sweet bread for a serial killer

This week has been pretty spotty dream-wise so I haven't written down much.

june 1

I was at a graduation type ceremony that I don’t recall well. A dance was scheduled for that evening but I didn’t have a nice pair of shoes to wear. I saw two girls wearing sparkly dresses with a car that was covered in sparkly rhinestones to match. I wanted to find sparkly heels I think. I believe stores were closed and I didn’t have time to find a pair so I decided I would just have to wear sneakers. I made it to the dance but I wasn’t there for very long. I linked up with my friend and we went to take a peek around the outdoor amenities. We saw a photo booth and climbed in without even verbally communicating it to each other. We took some pictures without caring if we had cash. It did feel a little rushed. At some point I looked down and noticed I had a magenta pedicure.

Some background:

I wasn't able to go to prom so I get excited when I think about getting ready for a fun dance like that. Alsooo, that friend is spiritual so I enjoy the dreams I have with her. We haven't really talked much though.

Ah I feel pretty lonely. There's a Buddhist temple by my house that I might look into but every step feels heavy in a way. I feel like prey- backed into a corner with my tail tucked between my legs and watchful eyes.

I'm thinking of the lake/oasis dream I had a while ago. The guides told me to hurry while the waters were flowing the same way but I split to grab a pashimina. I have to balance myself to continue on through this time that feels like the desert valley. But it's hard. And my aluminium tongue won't move.

I'm trying to pare down on filler when writing down my dreams so excuse the strikethrough's.

june 4

This is between two periods of sleep. Asterisk means it’s the same as waking life.

First:

There was a pregnant woman. Twice, I told other people that I had dreamt of her birth in which her husband performed a C-section with a dull dagger. One of the people I told was my *dad although I don’t recall what was happening at the time.

Second:

This followed a whole plot line based in a school that I have unfortunately forgotten. I do know there was a serial killer on the loose.

I was walking in a college town neighbourhood during the day. I came across an old man walking about 20 feet in front of me with a worn brown cane in his left hand and a paper bag of groceries in his right. I held a paper bag of sweet baguettes.

He said something slightly threatening to me and I realized he was the one who had been killing people in the neighborhood. I ran away but felt bad so I came back later to make peace.

I arrived at his front yard where he was sitting at a table in his open garage with a man seated on his left and a woman on his right. I offered him the sweet bread, but I had a confident moment where I looked him dead in the eye and announced something assertively that upset him.

His eyes steeled and I knew I had made a mistake. I wanted to run.

--

I feel like this might be a shadow dream. Paring down on describing how I came to conclusions or highlighting my lack of confidence in what I say is hard but says a lot. Why do I feel so discredited all the time?

Anyway, the idea of this being a shadow dream made me laugh when I thought about it earlier. Dreams where I confront the suspected killer in peace but then take it back and *metaphorically* spit in their face are so mean of me. I offered something to him and had the chance to talk to him but rudely turned back.

I wonder if the paper bags hold any significance. We both had one.

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I wanna do dream hypnosis so bad because I can basically feel other parts of the dream in different settings. Active imagination is a great tool that I have yet to fully acquaint myself with. I would so try it tonight but I have to be up early-ish.

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I want to audio record the dreams I have like I did in 2023 ( XIII on spotify hehe ) but every time I open my voice memo app my phone freaks tf out and fully restarts. It's just nice to come to new realizations from speaking them out loud.

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N-E ways, thx for coming to my ted talk. It was jumbled and again, my brain is half of what it used to be so I sound like a alien trying to be human but I'm trying. I did sketch the garage scene but I don't want to transfer it over from my phone.

#dreams #journal #dream analysis

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bigasscontinent · 1 month ago

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5.24.2025 reflection on Metaphysical Explosion and Crone

There are few things that make me feel as elated as realizing what a dream means for me, even years after the fact.

This one wasn’t too long ago but some parts of it clicked for me today when I was condensing the tail end of it to submit for analysis. It’s hard to shorten my dreams sometimes ah. I’m not about to completely reformat everything because of how long it’ll take so this will be structured differently than my last recording. I’m going to copy paste and edit here.

Metaphysical explosion and Crone

April 9 2025

Scene one

Setting: House?

Characters: Male scientist.

Associations: Kinda reminds me of the Arcane Hexcore rupture?

Feeling: Observing something important.

Scene two

Setting: Large building under construction. Lots of obstacles related to work being done.

Characters: One boy who ends up getting his arm chopped off by surroundings, another boy who tries to scope a way out, and myself.

Associations: Reminded me of Mercy hospital in Left 4 Dead

Feeling: Anxious, determined.

Scene three

Setting: Living room house.

Characters: Maybe a dozen girls, probably some boys in there too. Survivors of the previous scene.

Associations:

Feeling: Relief and community.

Scene four

Setting: Very end of a large backyard at night.

Characters: Myself, three other girls, Honey, and a woman wearing all white with a bonnet; not showing her face.

Associations: Worried about Honey running away but she wasn’t dashing.

Feeling: Fear

I can’t remember exactly what set this all off but here’s what I do recall.

A male scientist was attempting an experiment that went wrong. It was very similar to the hexcore explosion in Arcane. I described it as time expansion upon waking. Like the fabric of the dreamscape was expanding with whatever happened to the guy. It felt like a process gone wrong. This happened in a big house although I can’t recall if there were people around or how many.

After that ^ happened with the guy, myself and maybe a couple dozen people (all the same age and mostly guys) were thrown and spread out with the objective of finding him. People died and we were split up for the most part. Looking back, I think what happened is that the building regressed back to mid construction. It also physically expanded to be like Mercy hospital from Left 4 Dead. (lol)

The other scene I remember clearly is closer to the end. I was two boys my age. One guy’s arm was chopped off somehow so I was trying to help him along with the other one I was with. He wasn’t bleeding but you could see his flesh.

We needed to get out of the building to get him help so the safe one had me stay there to be with the injured one while he took a look around at our surroundings (we were in a visually obscured area/incomplete room). I didn’t want him to leave us but he slipped out anyway. He fell from a beam and I’m pretty sure he died.

Somehow, after a scene switch, we made it to the door where the scientist (main antagonist?) was behind. There was light coming out around the frame and openings. I slowly approached the door and opened it. I don’t remember what was behind it but I know it was a big part of the plot.

He had us go backwards in time at some point when I entered. We had to go back to the room/space where it all initially happened. So, this was the second time we all had to look for him.

The next scene I remember was being in a living room with a bunch of other people my age who were in the first scene. It was to celebrate our successful escape. There were a lot of girls. Worth it to note that as far as I recall, the previous happenings only included males for the most part.

Myself and three or four of the girls went outside to chill in some chairs by the edge of the lot closest to a forest. It was night time at this point. It was a long day so they all decided to head back to the house while I stuck around for a little longer.

I then saw my cat briskly walking to the brush beyond the boundary of our lot with her tail horizontal. I usually notice her doing this in waking life when focused. I called out to her so she wouldn’t run away but she kept walking, veering left. That’s when I noticed a woman wearing all white seemingly gathering something. I freaked out and started screaming for help. I remember I cried out “help!” three times. I had more to say but felt the need to cut myself off early to complete the three iterations.

The girls came and got me but one of them was angry with me. She kept throwing shade, blaming me for what happened earlier in the dream. Odd because it was a man who had started the big problem in the first place.

She got into a car at the end and didn’t want me to join. It was packed with other girls anyway.

–

So, it’s my understanding now that houses can represent consciousness and the mind. I think there might be a connection between the “regression” of the building back to construction and enlargement. I did have a rough period of time in 2021/2022 that aligns with that in which I feel like I lost myself in a way. I don’t feel as present or anchored as I used to. I can’t talk or write as well as I used to. I just feel stoopid and incomplete in a way. It feels just like the building I was attempting to circumnavigate. I’ve been trying to find my way back.

So it makes sense now that the girl, possibly an anima figure (?), was annoyed with me for causing everything in the first place and not being able to handle simple things like seeing a woman minding her own business. White is traditionally associated with sanctity and she wasn’t hurting anyone or anything. I panic instead of taking a moment to analyze what’s going on and assess if it’s a threat or not.

Honey (my cat) even approached and walked by her without fear. She was probably annoyed at me too for calling her over so anxiously haha.

My head is hurting and I’m pretty tired after staring at a screen all day at work so I’m just going to stop here and leave this entry with a little poem I wrote on the dream. It ain’t much but it’s honest work.

–

The woman clad in white was picking at the woody brush when I saw her

I can only imagine what her perspective was:

A girl sits on the edge of her property, wide eyed with wild fear

She screams at the sight of someone she doesn’t know innocently gathering herbs (*or whatever it was)

Yet still, she doesn’t see her own role in all of this

She yells for her cat, perhaps for all she lost that day too

While the faceless woman continues her diligent duties

And the girls drag their hysterical companion away

--

Adding now for future reference; I'm once again looking at runes and Nordic folklore as well to try and learn more about the symbol I saw in my dream earlier this month. I'm still pretty curious about what the "top part" that might have fallen off was.

#dreams #journal

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bigasscontinent · 1 month ago

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May 6, 2025 anchor

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bigasscontinent · 1 month ago

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5.23.2025 missed meteorite dream with girl and first tarot spread in a long while

M A Y 23

I want to copy paste some of my other recent dreams and also go into an analysis of the spread I did on the 6th. It fit pretty nicely in the last month.

I just wanna be myself agaiinnnn.

May 6 2025:

I lit some incense and relaxed a bit with deep breathing then shuffled my Ethereal deck by something visions I forgot the name lolol. There wasn’t a specific spread template calling out to me so I just meditated and came to the idea of an anchor. What’s my anchor? Feels like the fabric of time almost kind of slips from me sometimes, making it difficult to feel like my brain is in my body.

Anyways, once I finally felt ready I split the deck into 3 stacks. I pulled a card from the top of each one but did it reversed for whatever reason. Just felt right I guess lol. From left to right: Judgement, The Tower, and The Empress.

Right off the bat, I noticed that the perspective switch in The Tower felt personal. I’m not sure how to explain it exactly but it was like instead of seeing someone fall out of a tower, I was up close and there falling with them.

After examining the spread, I flipped them all. Now, I was back at watching the descent. Thinking back it does feel like it reminded me that “zooming out” of situations, like Tower moments lol, reveals the bigger picture which includes a sort of mindset expansion. Annnd in a way, it is an anchor.

This is the dream I had on May 16, the most vivid one I've had since then.

Notes:

The boss and my work in the dream was not the same as in waking life. I think my job was mainly stocking a convenience store and otherwise helping the owner.

The girl was maybe about 10 and wore a light colored dress, maybe beige?

Time of day was either late afternoon or dusk.

—

A meteorite was going to appear in the city. Gatherings were planned on the bridges throughout the city to watch.

I was rushing to finish some work up so that I could meet with a girl on one of the said bridges. My boss allowed me to leave early and I rushed to meet her. I was afraid of arriving late.

I ran up to the middle of the bridge. She had come from the other side and didn’t cross all the way to the center so I met her where she was. We both looked up to the sky, searching for the expected spectacle. However, the meteorite didn’t pass before I woke up.

The girl wasn’t exactly a family member but we had a personal relationship that felt pretty close to family. I wanted to see her happy by accompanying her to the viewing. I felt a very strong sense of wanting to protect her.

The main appeal of the meteorite was that it supposedly sang as it streaked by, that or it made a certain loud sound.

I submitted this dream to a podcast and it was actually picked! Their input was super valued. One of the insightful things they had to say was the connection between the meteorite and the Judgement card. There’s an impact associated with meteorites, causing subsequent damage. The singing could also relate to the sound of the angel’s trumpets. Judgement for me is mostly internal, so the individual’s own feelings about themselves. It’s a reminder that we can’t hide from ourselves. The more we try, the harder the shame/pain is.

While typing this out I remembered a part of another dream a while ago. I was working as a stocker in a supermarket. I felt super lonely and like I’ve been there forever when a new girl was introduced. Management had her shadow me and we chatted it up. I felt a sort of warmth filling up my chest because I didn’t feel so alone anymore.

I wonder if there’s any personal connection to the act of stocking by myself. That’s a good prompt for another day.

How does it feel to stock, or otherwise work, by myself?

As for last night’s dream, all I could recall was that there was a tiny Jamba Juice either right behind my work or behind one of the cafes. I wishhhh that was the case.

#dreams #tarotblr #tarot #journal entry

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bigasscontinent · 1 month ago

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5.23.2025 volcanic pool campsite & reflecting on water

M A Y 23

I couldn't recall much of my dream from the previous night, just bits. This may be out of order.

I was camping with some other people (can't remember who). There was another group to our lower right who asked if we wanted to take their campsite. They mentioned it was an upgrade as it had a volcanic pool that could fit maybe 5. The body of water was in a pool made of volcanic material from an ancient eruption.

Another part was about a girl I know in my online friend group. We were in call during DND but she got upset and left. She then messaged in the general chat saying that I could keep the weapon. Something pretty close to that happened a bit ago irl except she didn't immediately leave the call and she didn't explicitly tell me to keep it.

In a different scene, I saw my cat looking comfy af in a little white cat bed. It was on top of a bigger pad of the same material.

Later on, I was in my parent's living room stroking my older sister's hair. My toddler niece was there as well.

Sooo not a ton of structured plots last night. I'm glad I worked on recall when I woke up because I could feel the images begin to slip away.

I was thinking about a dream I had sometime in 2020 which I stg was a prophecy lolol. The part that's coming to mind is when I became slightly lucid and asked a question that was accurately answered.

The airplane I was traveling to Australia on had crashed off shore. I was close enough to see the land but it was still kind of far. Once I find the dream recording I will blog it so I might not have the specifics. Like the exact depth of the water lmao. It was either up to my waist or more like mid thigh. I think it was the waist.

This is significant because looking back, I see how it reflects my level of consciousness. That's the simplest way to describe it. I didn't exactly become lucid in the way that I could control what happened, but I felt a presence there above me. It wasn't visible but I could almost feel it.

I asked a question.

"Am I actually going to Australia?" A pause, one where I could, again, feel the entity hesitate before speaking. "No."

And well... COVID hit. The person I was thinking of meeting there flaked. And I never got to go.

My focus here is on the connection between water in dreams and the psyche. I was there, somewhat submerged in the sea, not quite dreaming but not quite conscious. I didn't control the voice. I didn't know what it looked like, just felt it as clearly as a steady breeze. Also, I think there might have been at least one more because the pause felt like it was looking to it's side like "Ah she won't like this" or something.

This felt nice. I have been recording my dreams in docs for years but I'm worried that I might lose it all one day. I like that I can cross reference on here later and maybe idk someone will want to read and analyze... I had one analyzed for the first time this week on a podcast and it was very enlightening. ty

I have to go to bed now but there's so much more I want to share.

I did an "anchor" inspired 3 card tarot pull on May 6; one of my more lucid days this week (+?) it feels like lol. The dreams from that week were pretty cool so I'll transfer them over from my googledoc tomorrow maybe. In case I forget, the cards were Judgement, The Tower, and The Empress. I felt the need to pull them upside down but righted them after examining. However, The Tower felt very personal both ways and seeing it reversed at first felt.. powerful? I guess idk I'll expand on that another day. I used the Ethereal deck.

#dreams #water

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bigasscontinent · 1 month ago

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Hello! If you're in the Bay Area I'm offering these $100 black and white tattoos, The studio is called "old crow tattoo" out of Berkeley,CA,If you're interested, feel free to message me for more info.✨️🙏✨️

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bigasscontinent · 8 months ago

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- pinterest reposting is just modern day hunting -

today was kind of hard. i hurt my back pretty fucking bad by just laying face up on the ground. had a good cry sesh! the tears were flowing as i was picking an ambient rain youtube video by just being 3 minutes into an asmr intro.

#aesthetic #dreamy #moon #celestial #stars #star #elf #silver #lineart

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bigasscontinent · 9 months ago

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