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Top 10 Jams of the Week - 7/10/17

1. 2U - David Guetta feat. Justin Bieber

Another collab blessed by JB’s golden touch. 

2. Dead - Madison Beer

The catchiest. Song. Ever. This has been stuck in my head since it came out, and you can tell how much Madison has grown in her music and voice. I can’t wait to hear more new music from her.

3. God, Your Mama, And Me - Florida Georgia Line feat. Backstreet Boys

I’m not the biggest FGL fan, but I do really like this song because BACKSTREET FOREVER. Country music is what I’ve grown up around, and 90′s pop like Backstreet Boys is what I grew up loving, so this is the perfect combination. 

4. Red Velvet - R5

R5 make such fun, funky music that you can’t help but dance to, and their latest EP was no exception. Red Velvet is my favorite song off of New Addictions.

5. 26 - Paramore

Paramore’s newest album, After Laughter, is so different for them in terms of style, but as far as lyrics go, they’re still the personal, autobiographical words from Hayley Williams that we all know and love to relate to. 

6. There For You - Zedd feat. Troye Sivan

I love Troye Sivan’s voice. It’s so smooth and beautiful and this collab combines that with a beat that makes you want to dance. Plus, the lyrics are super relatable, whether they make you think of your bf/gf, best friend, or family, anyone can relate to this song.

7. 13 - LANY

The lyrics aren’t necessarily happy, but the song still makes you wanna dance. LANY stand out from other alt-pop artists these days, and I can’t get enough of their infectious music. 

8. Legends - Kelsea Ballerini

She’s technically a country artist, but she’s more comparable to Shania Twain and Taylor Swift than to older country ladies like Dolly Parton and Reba McEntire. She’s pop-country at its finest, and this song will make you yearn for the boyfriend you don’t even have. Not to mention the music video is insanely cute - but simultaneously breaks your heart. Her songs are like dessert in music form. 

9. Easy - Sky Ferreira

I just saw Baby Driver. Is there anything else to be said? If you haven’t seen it yet, GO.

10. Stupid For You - Waterparks

I love some good pop punk. Waterparks is like a throwback to the good ole glory days of pop punk - the early ‘00s. They’re perfect for jamming out in the car on a summer drive.

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more story pics

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cool photos for story

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Cool photo of a scary house. Not mine obvi I just like it 

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Top 10 Jams of the Week

1. LA Devotee - Panic! At The Disco

2. Outsiders - Against The Current

3. Losing Myself - State Champs

4. You Don’t Love Me Like You Should - Hey Violet

5. The Feeling - Justin Bieber ft. Halsey

6. 100 Times Over - Forever Ends Here

7. Permanent Vacation - 5 Seconds of Summer

8. Who Do You Love - Marianas Trench

9. You’re Not Alone - Saosin

10. Hell Nos and Headphones - Hailee Steinfeld

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Mood

I find that when I’m listening to music and nothing is really fitting my mood the right way that I always turn to country music, and I’m not really sure why. Maybe it’s just because that’s the most familiar and feels like home. Whatever happens I always have that comfort in country music, I guess, because it’s what I grew up with. 

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Getting Better

I used to think that I would never be able to live a normal life. Anxiety makes that difficult. But I don’t think I want a normal life. That would be too boring. I don’t want to fit in just to fit in. Sometimes that makes things harder though. Being yourself in a world that constantly tries to change you is hard and to me, it’s pretty brave. I try my hardest to be brave. I want to be someone my little sister can look up to and want to be like. And maybe I am doing a good job at that, but not in my head. She wrote an assignment about me at school the other day and the whole time I was reading it I was thinking, “How is this about me? I don’t see myself as being all of these great things.”  The thing about it is you never know what someone is really thinking, like, do you ever really know a person? I guess my sister does look up to me, it’s just I have this stupid desire to be perfect for her. Perfection doesn’t exist, but my brain doesn’t want to believe it. There are so many things I want to do, but fear and anxiety holds me back from doing them. Maybe just because I haven’t reached where I wanted to go yet doesn’t mean I won’t get there...but I don’t even know. Trying to figure out who you are and who to be and what to do and how to survive in the world is overwhelming. Everybody is fucking anxious and depressed and screwed up in the head but nobody wants to talk about it. I think that to move forward you have to accept your problems, you have to look the monster in the eye and be like, “Fuck you.” I admit that it’s difficult. I’m still working through it. Some days my head is filled with anxiety and doubts and negativity and all kinds of bullshit and it feels like you just can’t even get out of bed. It’s that feeling of worthlessness. For me, it can hit me out of nowhere. I can be having a great day, great mood, the weather’s nice, sun is shining, and bam, it slams into you like a fucking train. Moods are so weird. In two seconds my mood can go from happy to sad as fuck, for no rational reason. I still haven’t really figured out a way to deal with those times, I just push through it. Turn on some music, cut off the world and try to think positively. It can be especially hard on those days when you try so much to be positive but it just keeps pulling you down and down and down until you’re stuck at the bottom of a black hole and you can’t get back out. I’m learning that it does help to talk to someone when that happens, but that in itself is one of the most difficult things for me to do. Talking about feelings and emotions and the deep and dark stuff does not come naturally to me at all, and almost gives me more anxiety because I think that the person is going to judge me for how I feel or tell me it’s stupid or to just get over it. But I am learning that the people that are close to me are not going to judge me. It’s still a process, but I’m getting there. Having people to look up to that talk about stuff like this and genuinely want to help and make other people feel like they aren’t alone helps a ton. Just the fact that stuff like this is getting talked about more and more means everything. I’ll go on Twitter and see something Halsey or Ashton Irwin have said and that helps me feel not so alone in the world even when my brain is trying to fuck everything up. Anxiety is such a strange thing. It’s like you’re fighting against your own self, and how the fuck are you supposed to do that? It stops you from living your life the way you want, to the fullest, as cheesy as that sounds. Sometimes I get so scared that in 30 years I’m going to look back and be disappointed in myself for not living my life. I don’t want to see life pass me by. But I’m getting better, I think. The past year has been a big change for me personally. It may not look like it on the outside, but I promise that on the inside I’m fighting it and I’m going to keep getting better. I just want people to see me, as much as that scares the shit out of me. 

But I’m getting there. 

I’m okay.

I’m alive.

I’m breathing.

And I’m getting there. 

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Interviewer: any special talents?

Me: I can recite all of taylor swifts songs start to finish from memory ready HE SAID THE WAY MY BLUE EYES SHINED PUT THOSE GEORGIA STARS TO SHAME THAT NIGHT...I SAID THAT'S A LIE

Me 4 hours later: THE BEST PEOPLE IN LIFE ARE FREE

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I feel sad tonight.

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This is my favorite thing

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x

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R.I.P Pink Egg

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I love love love this. The Summer I Turned Pretty is that to me.

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I just want life to feel beautiful again.

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