blushdollies

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your ed is just as valid if you don’t enjoy hunger. valid if you aren’t a white teenage girl. valid if you aren’t uw. valid if you eat junk and sweets. valid if you don’t purge. valid if you don’t exercise. valid if you do high res. valid if you don’t fast. valid if you have never passed out. valid if you enjoy the taste of food. valid if you don’t like diet coke. valid if your suffering isn’t all perfectly aesthetic and dainty and serene.

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While I stand in front of the mirror,

my eyes jump over my body.

They move fast, from one part to another,

because they –or better, I– can’t stand

staring too long at these ugly flaws

that I carry every damn day.

I try to avoid mirrors,

but whenever I’m not looking,

my mind brings back the painful words

of the woman who is my mother.

Her harsh words wander through my brain,

knocking loud against the walls inside my head.

They hurt,

and even though I tell myself

she’s just throwing her fears onto her daughter,

there’s a bitter taste of truth in them

I can’t shake off.

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idk sometimes it happens to talk with people about eds etc. , especially to my closest friends that are aware of my problem with food, but it makes me SO SICK that people do not take u seriously unless you are deadly THIN. like wdym??

i have been in situations where people eds were being COMPARED as if it was a literal competition and i have been said “your situation is not comparable to hers because your not that deep into it” I DIDN’T EVEN TOLD YOU ABOUT IT??? but first of all WHY ARE WE COMPARING PEOPLE’S ILLNESSES??? dayum

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“i run to burn calories”

“i do pilates to burn calories”

BITCH I PLAY JUST DANCE???

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"having a fast metabolism is so hard 🥺🥺" oh shut the fuck up you know you enjoy being able to inhale the whole mcdonalds menu and stay under 40kg dont even lie

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motives to starve.

- looking as thin as or even thinner than your skinny friends

- wearing those clothes you always were too scared or ashamed to wear

- being the skinny friends

- to not think “oh they must be laughing about me” when a group of girls walks by whispering and laughing

- to be the thinspo

- to not always feel tired and overstimulated by your own appearance

- to look as good as those pinterest girls

- to be able to go out in a swimsuit without feeling uncomfortable

- to make your friends feel bigger than you (i mean it’s time to accept that uno reverse card)

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tbh on my knees for that dress to impress body type

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my mind wants that food, but my body does not need it.

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“we are at burger king, why tf would you order a salad” WELL EMILY NOT EVERYONE GOT BLESSED WITH FAST METABOLISM AND THIN WAIST

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i just wanna be skinny

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can’t do this anymore i’m ashamed of even going out bc of the way i look