bookbeani - Tumblr blog

[bookbeani]

@malus-syl-vestris @the-forest-library I’m not gonna mention blogs because I don’t want to add more fuel to the fire, but two people’s follower bases are at each other’s necks and there are accusations flying everywhere with, like, no actual substance to anything anyone is saying.

I would unfollow but I actually like interacting with people I disagree with on some levels, since I think it broadens my perspectives.

Oh boy the tumblr discourse today is like… people are literally doing backflips to be upset with each other.

[bookbeani]

Tumblr is literally like middle school but with worse takes. “You can’t sit with us.” “Ew, don’t talk to me.” “Everyone do not interact with this person.” “You disagree with me so you’re evil.” Like have y’all heard of nuance????

[bookbeani]

Oh boy the tumblr discourse today is like… people are literally doing backflips to be upset with each other.

[bookbeani]

Can someone pls explain to me why gender pronouns evolved because like, why did we collectively as a society agree to refer to someone based on that?

Why is gender so fucking important that it’s the first thing you learn about someone? Why aren’t pronouns based on, like, profession, or place in society? Why did we decide that instead it would be fucking gender?

[bookbeani]

All of this, plus, I used to think intrusive thoughts were only limited to mainly physical impulses like what was outlined above, but I really want to stress the last point which is that intrusive thoughts are any thoughts that put you in great distress. That can include:

Intrusive thoughts that you are a bad person

Intrusive thoughts that your relationships are fake and nobody likes you

Intrusive thoughts that you are worthless and a burden

Identifying these as intrusive thoughts is crucial, because it's a reminder that these thoughts are not a reflection of who you are. They are a manifestation of your mental illness, and by not identifying with them and removing yourself from them, you can examine them more critically and they will have less of a hold over you.

Things that are not intrusive thoughts:

Lmao crunchy leaf… I should bite it XD

Thoughts, opinions, jokes, etc. you get a sudden urge to post on social media

Thoughts you need to express after something bad happens

Having a song stuck in your head

Things that are intrusive thoughts:

Thoughts about committing violent acts that you don’t actually want to commit (e.g. “What if I just hurt or killed that person or animal right now?”)

Thoughts about self-harm you don’t actually want to act on (e.g. graphic images of yourself sticking a pin through your cheek)

Slurs or cruel things when you look at people that don’t reflect your actual opinions or beliefs

Other violent or disturbing thoughts that aren’t reflective of who you are, but which cause distress because they intrude and force you to think them anyway

Stop calling things intrusive thoughts when they aren’t. All that does is make it harder for people who actually suffer from them to get help. It diminishes the distressing nature of real intrusive thoughts and makes it so people who have them feel like they’re the only ones with those thoughts. People who do experience intrusive thoughts find them distressing because they can have disturbing content or make them anxious because they worry that the thoughts reflect something in them contrary to who they thought they were (which they don’t; intrusive thoughts aren’t reflective of your nature, but the worry that they are is common - that’s why they’re disturbing).

No, not everyone experiences regular intrusive thoughts. No, it’s not harmless to take a term like this and use it as you please if it means changing the definition. Don’t let this become like “triggered.”

[bookbeani]

[bookbeani]

Hi, I'm the scary narcissist that you keep warning people about.

I'm not empathetic, I'm not naturally caring, and I have extreme trauma that has irrevocably affected how I process emotions. I'm selfish, I have to consciously choose to tend others' needs, and I often don't recognize when I've hurt someone's feelings.

I meet the criteria for narcissistic personality disorder. I agonize about making sure I don't hurt people because of how HARD it is for me to perform empathy, which I do not naturally feel.

I choose kindness and compassion, not because they come naturally to me, or because "it's just the right thing to do," but because we have to take care of each other in order to have a functional society.

Every day I make the choice to be as kind and compassionate as I know how, knowing the entire time that there are people who truly, deeply, sincerely believe that this makes me a monster.

I'm not going to torture you for fun. I'm not going to kick your dog. I don't get off on psychologically abusing people. And if you actually care about what it's like to live with a personality disorder, and how HARD it is, extend some of that famous "empathy" of yours and stop treating people with narcissistic personality disorder like monsters waiting to snap.

[bookbeani]

'this book has gay rep' girl the us army got gay rep now you gone have to do better 😭😭😭😭

[bookbeani]

Come into my inbox and tell me why my blog is problematic.

[bookbeani]

😪

[bookbeani]

You don’t need to overcome your disability or mental illness to be “worthy”.

There’s a lot of focus on people “defying the odds” and showing that their disability “can’t hold them back”.

But here’s the thing... sometimes your disability does hold you back. Sometimes, no matter how much you want to, you can’t do some things.

And it’s okay. You’re still worthy.

[bookbeani]

Quick reminder that LGBTQ+ representation is not the only representation out there. I saw some tweet complaining about how diverse netflix shows are being cancelled after one season in favour for “straight stuff” like To All the Boys which, newsflash, is racially diverse.

[bookbeani]

Friendly reminder that someone can be shitty without being abusive. It can and does happen. Stop calling every shitty person out there an abuser, it’s fucking damaging.

[bookbeani]

[bookbeani]

I can only speak to my knowledge as a Canadian, but for international students in Canada it is not like that at all. First of all, Canada doesn’t claim the right to control your every move, so online work, tutoring and the like is totally okay, and if you meet a list of basic requirements (which like 90% of international students do) then you are authorized to be traditionally employed as well. As long as you prove that you are maintaining your student status, you are allowed to support yourself. And that’s how it should be.

The mindset behind preventing international students from working in any way, shape, or form is deeply xenophobic. It is explicitly based on the belief that these students will be taking job opportunities that could be filled by native citizens instead. And it’s especially ridiculous when talking about online work, as if commissioning art for your Czech friend is stealing a job from an honest, hard-working American.

Was anyone going to tell me that as an international student the United States of Hell owns my ass, or was I just supposed to find out the hard way: A Story

So for y'all who don't know, I'm in grad school, but due to extenuating circumstances beyond my control, am no longer receiving a stipend as compensation which would normally pay for my, you know, living expenses. Rent? Food? Clothing? Who needs that, amiright?

Here's where the problem comes in: as an international student, I can't legally get a job. And by "job" I mean I literally can't get paid to do anything. This includes:

Traditional employment where you work for an employer for a fixed wage/salary regardless of whether your employer is in the US or not (as long as you're in the US, fuck you)

Freelance work or self-employment, which includes online tutoring, online art/writing commissions, Patreon, Etsy shops, you fucking name it, regardless of whether your client is in the US or not (as long as you're in the US, fuck you)

Fuck, I don't even know if I'm allowed to have a ko-fi at this point, because how dare I make money while setting foot on sacred and holy US soil?

So, in conclusion, fuck the US. Fuck anyone who complains about immigrants "stealing" your jobs because guess what, I can't even sell a goddamn sticker while I'm in this cursed place.

[bookbeani]

I’m an international student and I use prolific academic for some small income but it’s in the name of my friend who’s in my home country. She cashes out and venmos me with a caption that’s something like “for the 👗, thanks!” or something that makes it look like she’s just paying me back for something I got for her lol. not sure if loophole or I’m lucky but ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

I think Prolific and other reward-based transactions (like paid surveys) are one of the few things that don't count as employment, so you're good :) It is a good way to earn a few dollars here and there, but unfortunately not something to live off of.

[bookbeani]

Me rn.