botanical-bananas - Tumblr blog

[botanical-bananas]

[botanical-bananas]

According to Know Your Meme, on August 18th, 2005, Erwin Beekveld brought forth this work into the world. HAPPY TEN YEAR ANNIVERSARY, THEY’RE TAKING THE HOBBITS TO ISENGARD.

[botanical-bananas]

Spiders and Running Elves

—

summary: y/n, a mirkwood royal advisor, is deeply terrified of spiders. when she sees one on her bed, she runs for the hills.

this story is pretty short, but i thought it was hilarious!

—

—

Y/N’s shrill scream echoed through the palace.

“HELP HELP HELP!!!”

She ran as fast as her little legs could take her. Unfortunately, she gave all of the palace staff (other than a few of Thranduil’s guards) the weekend off. Nobody was there to help her except the King and Prince.

“Thranduil!!!!!” She yells, seeing him in the distance

“Y/N, what’s wrong?!” He asks urgently

Before she could tell him, she slipped. On the ground, she fell. “Ah, curse your perfect shiny floors!”

Thranduil picks her up in one swift movement. “Are you alright?!”

“Spider! In my room!” She exclaims, burrowing her head in Thranduil’s chest

Thranduil’s eyes widen. “Legolas, one of the monster spiders is in Y/N’s room!”

Legolas came running in, bow and arrows in hand. “I’ll protect you, Y/N!”

Thranduil and Legolas ran to Y/N’s room.

“This is why my staff doesn’t have off-days!” Thranduil proclaims

Legolas carefully prods the door open. “Where is it? Did it escape?”

Y/N squeals, almost falling out of Thranduil’s arms.

“It’s on my bed, it’s on my bed!!!”

Legolas drops his bow and arrow. His brow furrowed. Quietly, he stepped closer to her bed.

“That little thing?”

She was beyond horrified. “Yes! Yes! Yes!”

Legolas picks up the spider. Y/N wraps her arms around Thranduil’s neck and refuses to look. He opens the window and throws the little guy out.

“Y/N, is that what you were screaming about?” Legolas says, laughing

“Leggy...s’not very funny! Spiders are scary.”

Thraduil chuckled. “Well then I suppose we can’t let you into the forest anymore.”

Y/N tilts back, looking at Thranduil’s face. Her bottom lip juts out. “Why not?”

“There are these actual, Giant Spiders, that have been tormenting our borders for months. They are the size of me, and I’m over 6 feet tall.” Thranduil replies

“What?!” Y/N yells. “Why wasn’t this addressed in our meetings with all of the other Mirkwood elves?!!”

“Everyone has already known about it.” Legolas replies for Thranduil

“Well we are having a meeting on Monday and we are going to kill all of the big ass spiders!”

Thranduil and Legolas laugh.

“As you wish.”

[botanical-bananas]

GTG IM GRABBING MY FUCKING BLANKET AND BOX OF KLEENEX!!!!!!!! THIS IS NOT OKAY!!!!! I AM NOT OKAY WITH THIS!!!!

[botanical-bananas]

BORMOIR TED TALK

BOROMIR DESERVED SO MUCH BETTER! TOLKIEN IF UR READING THIS, UR MUM IS A HOE! AN ABSOLUTE THOT! IN FACT, YOU ARE ALSO AN ABSOLUTE THOT, TOLKIEN! I AM MAD. VERY MAD.

HE STILL PROTECTED MERRY AND PIPPIN, KNOWING DAMN WELL THAT HE WOULD PROBABLY DIE!

THE FATHER FIGURE!!! SAY IT WITH ME EVERYONE!!! THE FATHER FIGURE!!!! SO MANY ADORABLE MOMENTS WITH MERRY AND PIPPIN!!!!

SHOUTOUT TO THIS BEAUTIFUL SCENE! IT TRULY CAPTURES BOROMIRS UNDERATED BEAUTY!!! THE FALL LEAVES- EVERYTHING!

HE DIDNT TAKE ONE ARROW- BUT THREE F U C K I N G ARROWS FOR MERRY AND PIPPIN!!!!

KING OF WISE ASS WORDS!!! SO THOUGHTFUL- SO WONDERFUL!

i’m still sad about his death. if you couldn’t tell by my aggressive words. anyways i’m an activist for boromir rights ✊

[botanical-bananas]

i wonder how much merry and pippin’s backs hurt from carrying the whole series

[botanical-bananas]

ELROND GIFS AND MY INTERPRETATION

solely for comedic relief

“Ah yes, the tiny people”

•

“That’s right!!!! I command a fuckin army...what about it?”

•

“Y’all hear sumn?”

•

*hair casually smacks face*

•

Sorry but bad bitches with swords only 😩

•••

[botanical-bananas]

Y/N: *staring blankly at thranduil* How much longer will you be sitting there?

Thranduil: Y/N, I have only been on my throne for the past three hours!

Y/N: *exasperated sigh*

[botanical-bananas]

Sassy Thranduil

JUST BECAUSE HES MY DADDY

“The fuck did you just say to me?”

-

*hair flip*

-

*exerts dominance by just fucking walking*

-

CEO of ending yo ass

-

“Leave me, for I must sit on my throne for the next few hours and shit talk about you.”

-

and scene!

[botanical-bananas]

me sitting here, robbed of haldir fics like: 👁👄👁

guess i’m gonna have to get to writing then

[botanical-bananas]

oh, the things i would do to have just one conversation with legolas

[botanical-bananas]

The Fellowship as Camp Counselors and Activities They Teach

PS: THERE IS A BONUS AT THE END, YOU ARE VERY WELCOME

PPS: THIS IS ASSUMED TO BE AN ALL BOYS CAMP

PPPS: GANDALF AIN’T IN THIS ONE- HE IS TOO OLD TO TAKE CARE OF A TON OF KIDS AND RROBS DOESNT WANT TO ANYWAYS

Gimli

- Didn’t make the cut because he was too reckless according to the interviewer

- Was sad but ended up having a fun summer somewhere else

Legolas

- Archery

- Shall I really explain myself as to why he teaches archery???

- The somewhat awkward counselor

- But still takes really good care of the kids

- Tired all the time

- Lets the boys French braid his hair or practice on him if they don’t feel like doing archery

Aragorn

- Rock climbing

- Dad of all the campers

- When kids are homesick they go to Aragorn and he comforts them

- Roasts the best marshmallows

- When campers are injured he always takes care of them as well

- Co-counsels w/ Legolas

Merry n Pippin

- Arts and crafts

- Only reason they teach arts and crafts is because they can get away with the most shit

- More like campers than counselors; but still co-counsel together

- They come up with the most fun pranks for the other cabins

- Teaches all of the kids songs

- Even makes their campers stand on top of the picnic benches

- Maybe challenges other cabins to join in on their songs???

Frodo n Sam

- OLS (outdoor living skills)

- Sam is here only because OLS involves some cooking

- Frodo just seems like the kind of guy who would have enough patience to teach kids about survival

- Sam cried when the campers left

- Plus the two are besties so of course they are together and co-counseling!

- Teams up with Merry and Pippin so that all of their campers can steal food from the messhall

- Legolas and Aragorn saw their flashlights and yelled at them

- But they still got away with it

Boromir

- For some reason I feel like he would do canoeing???

- Like don’t ask why lmao

- The one that kills all of the bugs

- Random kids are always jumping on his back for piggy back rides

- He pretends to be annoyed but secretly loves it

Bonus: Faramir

- Obviously, he co-counsels with Borormir

- Tells the spooky ghost stories at campfires

- Idk why, but I also feel like he’d have something to do with the water...maybe a lifeguard?

- Lets all of his campers have midnight swims

- They invite all of the other cabins

- The pool is super crowded but everyone is having a shit ton of fun

- The kids love Faramir

- Gives the best “end of summer” hugs

[botanical-bananas]

dear reddit...i love you

[botanical-bananas]

Naneth! Pt.2

—

Thranduil x Y/N

—

FIND PART ONE HERE ↓

https://botanical-bananas.tumblr.com/post/617391015283818496/naneth-pt1

—

Y/N watched as Elrond left Mirkwood. It was a bittersweet moment, but it was for the best. She needed to stay in Mirkwood to ease tension and create peace. 

Thranduil came beside her and put his hand on the small of her back. She smiled up at him shyly.

“So you are here to be apart of my council, correct?”

“Yes. Elrond wanted me to stay here in order to help with your mood and people.”

Thranduil chuckled, despite the fact that he disapprove of what Elrond said. It was true. “Well I don’t have any meetings planned soon, so we should be okay with my mood for today.”

Y/N laughed and took his arm in a friendly manor. Elrond had already informed Thranduil that she was rather affectionate. The pair moved with grace as they walked away from the stables in which Elrond had departed. 

“Why don’t you show me around the gardens? That was always one of my favorite parts of Mirkwood. They are unbeatable.”

He smiled at the genuine compliment. “As you wish.”

Thranduil led her to the gardens. While on the way, he charmed her with his stories. Admittedly, he was quite funny and down to middle earth at times. Y/N and Thranduil’s conversation easily flowed.

Y/N was just as amicable as Thranduil. And just as he had charmed her, she charmed him. Y/N was quite adorable in his eyes. Sure, she was not your stereotypical half elf. It was very out of character for Thranduil to fall for someone like her. Normally, he frowned upon half elves.

Alas, Y/N was enchanting. She already had Thranduil and Legolas wrapped around her little finger without even realizing that. Y/N held onto Thranduil, head on his shoulder. It was a pleasant feeling for Thranduil. Affection had been rare for him ever since his wife died.

“Thank you for taking care of Legolas when I couldn’t.”

Y/N smiled up at him. “Of course. He is like my own kin.”

“I’ve noticed. He even calls you Naneth.”

“Yes...he always did that as a child and continues to now. I cannot recall the last time he has called me by my actually name.”

“He is very fond of you.”

“Legolas and I are very close. It seems that sometimes I already know what he is going to say before he even opens his mouth.” Y/N agrees

“Tis good to know that there was someone there for him.”

“Well, now that I’m staying here forever, according to Legolas, someone will undoubtedly be here for him!” Y/N jokes

Thranduil and Y/N laugh. He holds the gate open to the gardens. Y/N thanks him and walks inside. Her eyes darted to her two favorite plants.

“Alfirin and Elanor!” she exclaims

Kneeling beside the plants, she smells them. Her eyes close and she grins. Thranduil was entertained by her reaction.

“Are those your favorites, bunny?”

She blushes at the nickname. “Yes, they smell wonderful and are quite beautiful. When Legolas was young, I would braid his hair with these flowers. They are our favorite.”

Thranduil smiles. “Mine as well.”

He sits down on a nearby bench. Observing her was an activity he was learning to enjoy.

“May I pick a few?”

“Yes, you may.”

After having a handful of them, she skipped back over to him. Plopping down beside him, she smirked up at him expectantly.

“What is it, bunny?”

“Can I braid your hair?”

He stares down at her, considering his options. She stares back at him and begins to pout. Her bottom lip sticks out.

“Pweaseeeeeeeeee Thranduil?”

“Agh, fine!” He submits, rolling his eyes

Y/N cheers. She takes his palms and fills them with flowers. The crown was placed beside him.

“First, I must French braid your hair. The flowers can wait!”

“You know, I already have flowers in my crown.” Thranduil says

Y/N rolls her eyes. “No silly, you aren’t wearing your crown! Not with my beautiful braid!”

“A king without his crown?”

“Yes!”

Y/N’s gentle fingers pulled through his hair. It was silky smooth and lacked knots. Thranduil moaned as she tugged on one of the strands. Both went red in the face. It was a rather awkward situation. And Y/N did not like that.

“My sincerest apologies Thranduil. I have forgotten how sensitive elves can be when you pull on their hair.”

Thranduil said nothing in reply. Y/N began to section out his hair. Piece by piece, it came together. Finally, she completed the French braid.

“Could you tilt your head back for a moment, facing me?”

Thranduil tilts his head back. Y/N surveys his face, making sure there are no stragglers. She giggles at his serious expression.

“Lighten up Thranduil!”

“Lighten up?”

“It’s a figure of speech.”

“Figure of speech?”

“Ah, nevermind! Give me the flowers, please.”

He holds his palms out. She takes an Elanor and threads it into the braid. Before running out of flowers, she took the last two and stuck one behind each ear.

Y/N takes Thranduil’s hand and makes him stand up. A blush appeared on his face as she leaned up and kissed his cheek.

“You look wonderful Thranduil. Just like the elven king that you are.”

“Thank you, Y/N.”

She takes his arm and his crown. They walk to the palace, talking quietly amongst themselves. Though Y/N’s laughter echoed through the kingdom.

The staff was just preparing for dinner as they walked inside. An eager Legolas greeted Y/N exuberantly. She smiled, hugging him.

“Hello Legolas. How was your day?”

“It is even better, now that I have seen you!”

Y/N elbows Thranduil. “What do you think of the hair? Do a spin for us!”

Thranduil rolls his eyes, but does a spin. Legolas and Y/N laugh. It was a demoralizing situation for the other party.

“It reminds me of how you used to do my hair as a child. I love it.”

“Yes, that is why I snuck a few extra flowers in the crown. It was so big that I could fit them in here!” Y/N exclaims. “Now it’s time to do your hair, Legolas!”

“That sounds great.” He says, taking Y/N’s hand

Thranduil followed behind, watching the two interact. It fascinated him to see how close Legolas got with Y/N. He couldn’t remember the last time he had received a hug, or even a praise from his son.

Hopefully Y/N would fix that.

[botanical-bananas]

i am beyond depressed that peter jackson did not depict the mountain scene in the way the book did (refer to GIF above to see the way the book was)

legolas is such a little shit and i think we should all know that as his stans ^o^

[botanical-bananas]

Y/N was Legolas’s old childhood babysitter. Thranduil becomes infatuated with her quickly.

—

Thranduil x Y/N

—

Naneth! pt.1

Elrond and Y/N entered the kingdom of Mirkwood. She smiled softly, thinking of fond memories with the prince.

“Are you happy to be here?” Elrond inquires

“Very. Though I’m afraid Legolas may not remember me, as it has been long since I’ve travelled here.”

Elrond shook his head. “Legolas could never forget someone as extraordinary as you, Y/N.”

When Legolas was a small child and teenager, Y/N would often babysit him. Though never formally meeting Thranduil, she took care of his son like her own. Elrond had recommended Y/N and Thranduil trusted his word.

Soon, Y/N was the only caretaker Legolas ever wanted as a child. He would refuse to have anyone else watch over him as his father was gone on important missions.

Though as he grew up, her visits became less frequent. Their relationship faded over the centuries. But now, Y/N was back again.

Hope filled Y/N’s doe eyes. “Thank you, Elrond. We will just have to see how well I get along with King Thranduil.”

Elrond chuckles. “He’ll come around even if he doesn’t fancy you when you first meet”

A few guards noticed their arrival and bowed. Elrond nodded respectfully and asked for directions to the stables. The guards offer to take their horses so that they could travel on foot to the palace.

Elrond and Y/N dismounted their horses and walked through the village of Mirkwood. A charming place, it was!

“It’s just as I remember it.” Y/N says fondly

Elrond and Y/N locked arms as they walked through the village. They were incredibly close friends. Both knew that their relationship was nothing but platonic, and it was clear to everyone around them as well.

Y/N’s smile grew as they began to walk up the palace steps. She lifted her skirt with her free hand. Once reaching the top, Elrond greets the palace guards. They opened the doors for the two and they walked inside.

Legolas was the first to notice their presence. Without a second thought, he yelled “Naneth!” and ran to her. Thranduil perked up at the name, and turned around to face Y/N.

She opened her arms wide for him to crash into. Legolas nearly made Y/N fall from their impact. She laughed and held him close. His lanky arms encased her curvy body tightly.

Elrond approached Thranduil. Their quiet discussion had begun.

“Y/N hasn’t been here in centuries.”

Thranduil nods. “Yes. And it seems that she and Legolas are rather close.”

Elrond smiles. “It broke Y/N’s heart to not see Legolas, but she knew she had to let him go. He was very attached to her.”

“I can see that. He even calls her mother.”

Elrond freezes up slightly, looking over at Thranduil’s face. It had a melancholic expression as he studied the two closely.

“Y/N was the closest thing to a mother little Legolas had.” Elrond says boldly

“Hello, my dear Legolas. You’ve grown a whole foot since I last saw you!”

He lifted her into his arms and spun her around. Y/N couldn’t help the giggles that fell out of her mouth.

“And you’re as short as ever!” He teased

Y/N nodded. “Yes, the perk of being half human!”

“Why didn’t you come back, Naneth?” Legolas asked, a frown on his face

She smiled sadly. “You didn’t need me anymore, silly. You were plenty old enough to take care of yourself!”

He crosses his arms. “No! You were the best...and I really could’ve used your advice throughout my youth and even now. Naneth, you are staying here forever!”

Y/N laughed. “We will see, Legolas.”

Elrond clears her throat. Y/N goes red, realizing she hadn’t acknowledged Thranduil.

She curtsied at the two kings. “Hello, King Thranduil. I am Y/N. My apologies for not greeting you sooner.”

Thranduil motioned for her to come nearer. She stepped forward, a few feet away from him. He took her hand and kissed it gently, never breaking eye contact.

“Ah, a charmer I see.” She teases gently, a spark of playfulness in her eyes

“Something like that.” He smirks

Legolas and Elrond shared a look. Never had they seen Thranduil so friendly before. Y/N assumed it was normal, as she had never met Thranduil before.

“Hey Naneth, I want to show you around the castle again. My shot has gotten much better after all of this time!” Legolas exclaims

Y/N looks over at Elrond. He smiles and motions for her to join Legolas.

“It was a pleasure meeting you, Thranduil.” She says respectfully

“You as well, Lady Y/N.”

Legolas took her hand. Y/N followed after the very eager Legolas. It reminded her of when he was a small child, always wanting to show her something. He was a very curious elf and loved Y/N so dearly; therefore she was the one he used to always show things to.

“Any ladies in your life, Legolas?”

He sighs. “I’m afraid not. The one who I loved fell for someone else.”

She squeezed his hand sympathetically. “Oh, that is awful!”

Legolas took her into his secluded shooting range. She sat at a bench and watched as he grabbed his bow and arrows. Y/N laughed.

“Do you recall that little bow you used to use? It was always too big for you when you were around 9 years old. You were so eager to learn that you dropped it on your foot, for it was too heavy. Then you couldn’t walk on your foot for the rest of the week!”

He laughed. “I remember that!”

Once knocking an arrow back, he inhaled. It was completely silent where they sat.

Y/N was good at studying people without saying much. After exhaling, he let the arrow go. It flew to the target, landing right on the bullseye. Y/N clapped, pleased at Legolas’s work.

“You have improved so much! Even when you were 15 you couldn’t make that shot!” She praised

Legolas blushed. “Thank you, Naneth.”

Y/N was surprised that he continued to call her mother, even at his age. But then again, he was incredibly close to her so it made sense. In Legolas’s eyes, Y/N could do absolutely no wrong.

Elrond and Thranduil watched from a distance. They stood on a balcony and spoke softly to each other.

“She’s beautiful.” Thranduil admits

Elrond smiles. “Very. Inside and out. Y/N is one of the kindest human-elves I have ever met.”

“She doesn’t have many elven features, other than the ears.”

“Yes, she looks more human. Nevertheless, her mom and dad were only 1/2 elves as well. That explains why she only carries elven ears. But if we are being honest, she’s acts more elf than human.”

“If she has been staying with you for the past 3,000 centuries, I believe it. Did you say she was around 4,000 years old?”

Elrond’s brow quirked. “Do you wish to court her?”

“Maybe.” Thranduil muses

Elrond was surprised, but masked it. “Yes, she is around there. Her parents died when she was 1,000 years old.”

“That is very young...”

Elrond looks over at Y/N pityingly. “It was long ago. She recovered and became one of my best members of my council. And now, I shall give her to you.”

Thranduil was confused. “Do you mean that my own council is poorly run?”

Elrond was quick to defend himself. “No Thranduil. But I know that sometimes it is hard for you to be relaxed, and Y/N is very calming. Not only is she easy on the eyes, but is wise and works with the people. She is fantastic at sorting out issues and working through them peacefully.”

“Well then she will fit perfectly with my council.”

“I will be sad to see her gone, but it was in my vision for her to be with you. It is for the best.”

Thranduil was intrigued. “Did you see anything else?”

Elrond only smirked. “All I have to say is be kind to her. She will be very important for your future.”

Both shifted their gaze to Y/N. She was currently encouraging Legolas to split his arrow in half with another.

“C’mon Legolas, show me some real skill! Be dangerous!!” She yells

He chuckles. “I know my father said not to but...”

“Legolas and Y/N!”

Y/N turned red and spun around obediently. Legolas also turned around, bow and arrow pointed at the ground.

“Don’t you break anymore arrows Legolas! We have gone over this.” Thranduil yells exasperatedly

Legolas snorted, turned around, and shot the arrow. Y/N bit her lip, attempting to stifle the giggle.

“Legolas!”

“Uh oh...”

CHAPTER TWO HERE ↓

https://botanical-bananas.tumblr.com/post/617506467218636800/naneth-pt2

[botanical-bananas]

this is the best fucking video on tik tok