brokeandfrustrated - Tumblr blog

[brokeandfrustrated]

I AM FUCKING LOSING MY MIND AND IT’S NOT EVEN FUNNY. I. NEED. TO. SLEEP. NOW !!!!!!!!!!!!

[brokeandfrustrated]

II

There’s nothing worse than waiting.

When things are out of your control, you feel so powerless and pathetic that you want to scream your lungs out and destroy everything around you. Rage is my master and I’m the puppet. I haven’t slept for 3 days now. - I wanted to destroy everything beautiful I’d never have. Burn the Amazon rain forests. Pump chlorofluorocarbons straight up to gobble the ozone. Open the dump valves on supertankers and uncap offshore oil wells. I wanted to kill all the fish I couldn’t afford to eat, and smother the French beaches I’d never see. I wanted the whole world to hit bottom. I really wanted to put a bullet between the eyes of every endangered panda that wouldn’t screw to save its species and every whale and dolphin that gave up and ran itself aground. I wanted to burn the Louvre. I’d do the Elgin Marbles with a sledge-hammer and wipe my ass with the Mona Lisa. This is my world, now. -

(c) Chuck Palahniuk, Fight Club

[brokeandfrustrated]

- I'm so happy, 'cause today I found my friends They're in my head I'm so ugly, that's okay, 'cause so are you Broke our mirrors -

[brokeandfrustrated]

I

Monday. We made love to David Bowie’s Aladdin Sane album. It felt ethereal. Your touches and kisses were so gentle, yet passionate. Two bodies fused together in one soul as the soft dark night looked into the room. Or at least so I thought. Little did I know I meant absolutely nothing to you.

… When you left, I lit up a cigarette. Never in my life have I felt so lonely. Fuck you. I love you.

[brokeandfrustrated]

X

December 3rd, 2023. I am sitting on the floor in the work bathroom crying silently. Even though I make no sound, I feel like sorrow is eating me up from the inside. Will the pain ever end?

5. I have 5 minutes to get rid of my puffy eyes and red nose. After all, I don’t have the luxury of having a breakdown now, when I’m at work. As I get out, I greet my coworker with a wide smile and a “How are you doing?”. Another day, another step made.