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ngl sometimes the way white queer people talk sounds like you guys think you own the monopoly on being othered by society when that is very much not how the world works 

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femmes are so cute when you get them flowers. “you remembered my favorite?” like of course i did baby i have a whole list of things about you in my notes app

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just girls talking about frogs

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getting real tired of seeing straight ppl use femme as an aesthetic/fashion term. feeling v protective over yall rn

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watching my femme get ready is such a privilege. waiting on her is such a privilege. i love asking her about what she likes, what makes her feel good. i’m mesmerized. i love pulling up fun questions on my phone and we chat while she’s getting ready. or maybe i just stare at her in silence, or secretly take photos/record her because i just want to capture this moment forever

femmes, please always take your time. it doesn’t matter if we’re late. hell, we don’t even have to go. i just want to be present with you

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Summer Berry Mix 🍓🫐 ♡⊹˚₊

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William P. Welsh - Burlesque Queen (1941)

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The Watermelon Woman (1996)

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every time a fat girl wears a shirt that shows her belly an angel gets their wings reblog if you agree

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In a piece for The New Inquiry from back in 2017, George Dust states that when queer people complain about there being a top shortage, what they really mean is “nobody is fucking me the way I want, and I have no agency in that.” Alongside co-authors Billy-Ray Belcourt and Kay Gabriel, Dust suggests that many queer people align themselves with a passive or “bottom” position because they believe that role will absolve them of the guilt of really wanting things. They present themselves as what they believe to be the sexual party with zero power; the receiver, the accepter of action rather than its cause.

This position is drawn in contrast to the bottom-identified person’s idea of a top: the one who approaches, the person with hungers and desires, the person who decides which sexual activities will happen and how intense they will get. The top, from this perspective, is the stronger, more capable, more dangerous person. They’re the only one who can ever be guilty of intruding or harming somebody else. This power is scary, but it’s also compelling.

Dust calls this fantastical version of a top a “brute” — and they are the most cartoonish stereotype of what it means in society to be a man. Because it’s a cartoonish stereotype, no human actually lives up to it — and we’d probably revile a person even if they could.

Though queer people know we are harmed by the gender binary and heteronormativity and all the social scripts those things force upon us, its biases are still embossed on our brains. Without meaning to, we reproduce tired gender stereotypes in our relationships. And so we see expressing a sexual want as masculine, and being masculine as being more capable of violence and coercive control, and thus bad. We see failing to communicate one’s desires openly as desirably feminine, as well as a sign of blamelessness and purity — because on some level we still feel it is wrong to have desires.

But this entire worldview is a complete lie. Desire is not evil. Expressing attraction is not a violation. Failing to express oneself can be just as dangerous as not listening to someone else’s limits. Women can be abusive. Bottoms can sexually assault. No matter our gender, presentation, or sexual role, we are each capable of harm. And the only way to make a safe, mutually pleasurable sexual encounter happen is by going after it, actively, and communicating from a position of inner strength.

So how do you do that, if society’s been telling you all your life that you’re meant to date by acting like a deer passively snapping twigs in the woods, waiting for some hunter to hear you, and pursue you? (That really is dating advice that Evangelical Christian counselors give to women, if you can believe it).

By not fixating so much on what you’re doing or not doing to draw other people toward you, and instead thinking in terms of what you want and what you observe beyond yourself.

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Aya takano

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lingerie with a single belt loop for your carabiner

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"Lesbian Weddings" by Wendy Jill York

source: The Femme Mystique, edited by Lesléa Newman

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“Playbutch” February, August, September, July

Intaglio with Chine Cólle