caeliajournal

[caeliajournal]

I wrote about him.

I wrote about her.

I wrote about you.

I've been writing to everyone in my mind.

Not in a sense of riddance.

For the first time, I've been writing with a sense of belonging.

But you... of course.

You are the exception.

I'm ready to lose you.

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This took me a week to write because I couldn't bear the pain.

It is still there, waiting for me to let it out.

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Todavía no me reconozco en el reflejo.

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Lately, I’ve been studying and crafting runes from the Elder Futhark. 24 symbols.

I’m 24 years old.

For a little while longer.

Coincidence?

Obviously.

[caeliajournal]

Things I wanna tell each one of my friends:

Truths that they won’t hear, but will definitely read.

“we have grown apart and I am okay with that”

“please, please, please… let him die, bury him deep, don’t leave flowers or promises on his grave”

“I hope that, when the time comes, it hits you hard and makes you soft.”

“take it easy. choices are not forever. you can always change your mind. and yourself”

“do you think of me from time to time?”

“you’re strong. more than anyone here. I admire you for your silent resilience and loud happiness.”

“stop looking for places in hopes that you find a sense of belonging. look inside instead.”

“you have accomplished so much in so little time, against all odds. But most importantly, against fear of uncertainty.”

“honesty to yourself is something no one taught you, and yet, in my eyes you are a miracle made flesh.”

“i would pay to sit with you a sunday evening in a balcony with tea in our hands, stories in our mouths and new meanings in our hearts”

“I will never stop loving you.”

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Someday I will speak. Not loudly, not arrogantly, not with cutting words. Not like I used to. But with determination, with courage, with simple yet powerful words.

And it will be etched in your mind. It will settle and live there for a while... until you can no longer bear it.

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I know it's part of your nature. Part of who you are. When will you realize it is poisoning you from the inside?

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It reminds me of you.

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I've been daydreaming about a fairy of permanence and a fairy of change. And I think it’s the two of us, @bluedelilah.

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Lately I’ve been making sun catchers 🌞✨. It’s kinda more frustrating than relaxing [unlike making dreamcatchers] but I think that’s just cause I’m not used to it yet.

Also, I still can’t seem to hang anything on the walls in my studio. Every hook I’ve tried just ends up falling off. Last night the sun catchers came crashing down and gave me a heart attack . Luckily nothing broke, so all good.

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Feels good dressing like myself.

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A warm embrace.

Whimpers and sleepy nonsense.

The cold morning wind.

Hot coffee in the same café.

A glimpse of sunlight.

A long walk in the park.

An unexpected photo.

The sound of your laugh.

Pressed flowers and old book covers.

A homemade lunch.

Silence, full of meaning.

The smell of paint.

A cozy, fuzzy blanket.

The sound of birds.

The sky at dawn.

Our go-to show while having dinner.

A messy, sleepy routine.

A warm embrace.

[caeliajournal]

Word of the day: osadía.

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No es lo mismo ser la víctima que victimizarse.

Learn that.

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I'm writing letters to all my friends. Honestly, I wonder when I ended up with so many...

Goal for this month: I, L, D, N & S

Goal for March: K, V, A, S & J

[please stop, I don't need more friends anymore. The shop is closed]

I'm also really excited. Yeah, excited. Again.

My creative journal for this year is arriving soon, and I feel like crying because it's just so beautiful and special 🧹🍁🍄