catboy-cassius - Tumblr blog

[catboy-cassius]

[catboy-cassius]

[catboy-cassius]

notes for my impostor syndrome:

• no, it's not painful to walk for abled-bodied people

• no, healthy people don't usually use every chance they get to lean against walls or sit down

• no, ableds don't dream about shower stool

• no, ableds don't celebrate days when they're not in pain. because usually they're not in pain

• no, ableds don't want to stop walking mid-way, lay down on the ground, curl up and cry and whine from pain

• no, ableds aren't exhausted by their own bodies 24/7

[catboy-cassius]

i had an appointment to start the process for gender affirming care!!! i have a follow up in a couple months to start t and im wildly excited :3

[catboy-cassius]

guys you just have to think about it objectively. ai art is AMAZING bcuz it kills creativity and art, meaning that we can exploit artists until they reach their breaking point, and then we can continue to profit off of them forever!!! it's such an amazing tool for late-stage capitalism, i cant wait to see all the progress it's going to make in terms of rapidly bringing us to a complete dystopia!!!

(/s!!!)

If you’re pro AI art then you can kindly smash that unfollow button thanks!!!

[catboy-cassius]

GUYS PLEASE WE NEED FLOUR AND SUGAR SO BAD PLEASE GUYS PLEASE

No vanilla extract because my recipe doesn't call for it.

[catboy-cassius]

guys we're gna have SO MANY STUFFIES

[catboy-cassius]

the usa shouldn’t be the political and economic focal point of the entire fucking planet, actually

[catboy-cassius]

"a narcissist's eyes will turn pure black" you mean like an adorable kitty cat?? an adorable kitty cat who saw a fun toy??

[catboy-cassius]

I love narcissists. I love borderlines. I love anti-socials. I love histrionics. I love the little community of people who see life in the same light as me. I love that alongside the clowns in my askbox, there's an overwhelming amount of support from those with and without cluster b disorders.

Thank you.

[catboy-cassius]

"gifted children" are not necessarily gifted... sometimes kids just get a burst of development in certain areas, and it evens out and stagnates over time. its just how some people develop, you are not "failed" because of it.

[catboy-cassius]

me and @marzannap take turns with the god complex

Me 80% of the time: I hate myself and everything around me.

Me the other 20%: I am a fucking god

[catboy-cassius]

proud to let y'all know that said "bestest friend" is now my fiancée. we're getting married in october and all y'all are invited.

[catboy-cassius]

things i cant get, but would help:

paper plates/bowls

pre-washed/chopped veggies + pre-prepared food(ramen is great but not nutritionally too great and i cant eat nothing but that lmao)

a gallon of water in my room so i don't have to get up to refill my water bottle

similarly, safe foods in my room so i don't have to get up to get them/prepackaged snacks in general

a cane

noise canceling earbuds/earplugs/something to help with sensory issues

id love a working dishwasher, but those cost money, but i think a chair to sit in while i wash dishes would be really helpful

similarly, a chair in the shower

a place to sit/lay that isn't the floor or my bed. it's hard to get up off the floor, and my bedframe is broken- besides, my therapist recommended i only use my bed for sleeping, but i have nowhere else to sit/lay

a weekly pill organizer- although i anticipate struggling with remembering to refill it, it would be so much easier to remember to take my meds+vitamins if they're all portioned out and in my room

dry shampoo. i really struggle with showering already, and now my shower water smells weird and there's a several inch gap in the floor that smells moldy. however, greasy, stiff hair is a sensory nightmare, and the thought of going outside with hair so greasy it looks soaking wet makes me feel really insecure and ashamed.

here's a slight rant:::

a lot of these things are really accessible- like a pill organizer or a gallon of water, but im unemployed. i cant afford a one-time, ten-dollar purchase, let alone a weekly purchase like gallon jugs of water. im in college full-time and it's exhausting, but i feel like i can't leave.

i still live with one of my parents. i was supposed to move out after graduating but i was in the hospital seven times last year so i couldn't hold down a job and move out. my mother really wants me out of the house, and i understand why- i struggle to keep myself and my environment clean, to the point where it inconveniences her. because of this, she only pays for the essentials, which means she'll buy me "staple foods" like bread and eggs, and she pays my phone bill. i appreciate both these things- they help me a lot- and they're not the only things i need to be able to take care of myself. im hopefully moving in with my partner by the end of the year, but even then, i feel terrible inconveniencing her by asking her to buy me so many things when she works minimum wage. i've been trying to apply for disability but the process seems daunting.

rant over!!! i hope you all have a lovely day, and remember to drink some water!!!

[catboy-cassius]

so tired. tired of disability. tired of no support or help. tired of only support being far away.

[catboy-cassius]

dw it's being held up by the power of friendship