childish-husk - Tumblr blog

[childish-husk]

You were not a bad child. You were not difficult. You were not a burden. You were not evil.

You were a child.

It was the people around you who had a problem

And it was the people around you who were selfish enough to take their problems out on a child who was too small and helpless to defend themself.

It was the people around you who raised you to hate yourself.

And it's hard to believe when that awful environment is all you've known

But there are people out there who would be horrified at the way you've suffered

And there are people out there who would think you're amazing

It's not your fault you grew up in an abusive household

They're the ones who chose to mistreat you

And they were the ones who convinced you to blame yourself

And you deserve better

I promise you, you deserve better

[childish-husk]

Your parents may not have called you crazy directly, but they likely portrayed themselves as unquestionable beacons of truth and objectivity, so anytime you disagreed with them they could treat you like you're stupid for daring to go against anything they say. Don't you know they're always right now matter how many times they contradict themselves?

[childish-husk]

Maybe gen alpha would be able to read if politicians stopped cutting funds to schools/education

Maybe gen alpha wouldn't be addicted to tiktok if third places for kids weren't damn near extinct and their parents actually allowed them to go outside instead of viewing anything outside the house as an immediate threat

Maybe gen alpha wouldn't be so disrespectful if their parents actually cared to spend time with their kids and cared about their lives and interests, instead of using a tablet as a babysitter

Maybe gen alpha wouldn't be taking over sephoras if they didnt feel constant pressure from society and the adults around them to be beautiful from such a young age

Maybe instead of blaming little kids for suffering the symptoms of problems they have no control over and their adults keep actively contributing too, we make the world a better, safer, kinder place for kids to exist in.

[childish-husk]

[childish-husk]

abusers when you're in a ton of pain, depressed, anxious, suicidal, but still obeying them and under their control: Nothing is wrong with you

abusers when you're showing a hint of resistance and finding joy in something that puts you away from their control: You're going to go BAD, who did this to you, who changed you? You are Wrong and Stupid and you will WALK INTO YOUR DEATH, you need to be Stopped Immediately, you need to get Help and be return to normal, you are Delusional and Mad!!

[childish-husk]

[childish-husk]

My least favorite trope in shows is when they have an established 'jerk' character, and the reason given for why they're a jerk is 'they won't let me disrespect their boundaries'

[childish-husk]

Just because someone "stops" abusing you after you start doing what they want, (getting good grades, disregarding your own boundaries, suppressing feelings, etc) doesn't mean the abuse was your fault or that is wasn't real, or that you deserved it

[childish-husk]

A lot of people find validation in finding out things from their childhood that traumatized them that they experienced aren’t normal. And I get that.

I just want to also say that even if something is considered “normal”, it’s still okay to be traumatized by it.

Just because something is considered “normal” it doesn’t mean it’s okay and even if it was, it’s still allowed to traumatize you.

[childish-husk]

Me: tries to take a "do you have trauma" quiz

Me: fills out all the questions

Website: we just need your email-

Me: immediately closes the tab

[childish-husk]

I find that often people talk about how resilient survivors are and they mean it as a compliment. But sometimes, we don’t want to hear that. We want to fall apart and have that be okay. We want it to be acknowledged that the hard shit we went through devastated us. So, here’s your reminder. It’s okay to not be resilient. It’s okay to fall apart. And the shit you went through sucked and it’s okay if you act like it sucked.

[childish-husk]

[childish-husk]

This is for everyone who feels like they're going crazy trying to figure out if they were/are being abused.

Not every insult sounds like 'your stupid' or 'your ugly'

Abusers may not say 'your just crazy' when they try to gaslight you. They may say things along the lines of

'you dont even try'

'if you were smarter you would ____'

'why can't you be normal?'

When trying to insult you

They may say something along the lines of

'Well I'm sorry that's what you *thought* I did'

'you need a therapist your mental illness is changing your perception'

'why do you argue everything'

When they try to gaslight you

Lots of abusers try to be subtle about how they insult and manipulate you so they can hide behind plausible deniability.

"we weren't trying to insult/manipulate you we'd *never* do that! I can't believe this is what you think of us. That just shows that *you're* in the wrong. You need to apologize"

Sound familiar?

They're *trying* to make you to feel crazy, it lets them keep getting away with it. And if you think 'they wouldn't do that *on purpose*, it must be unconscious' they want you to think that to. It also doesn't excuse their behavior even if it is unconscious

[childish-husk]

it makes it worse

[childish-husk]

[childish-husk]

It’s normal to mourn who you were before your trauma, or mourn who you think you could have been if you can’t remember life before trauma.

And it’s okay to feel these things. It’s okay to grieve.

I can tell you all the things about how you’re still valuable as you are now with your trauma, and that you can still make a good life for yourself. And those things are true. But you deserve the space to grieve and have feelings about what you lost. It’s okay to grieve and to grieve at your own pace.