coastalstreetparty

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Some time in June, twenty twenty two.

Some difficult moments this morning. First day back or school for my son who has been away for the past two weeks. Going to school has always been challenging.. school isn’t his favourite place to be. And this morning was another of those extra challenging ones. It’s in these times I reach out to Jesus intensely, desperately.. singing and praying for miracles, guidance, patience, strength, wisdom, and the right words and actions. It was almost time to leave for school, and near those last few minutes he put on his uniform, and we made it to school on time, no rushing, just a whole lot of bravery and strength. I’m so proud of him. I’d really love nothing more than to have an acreage and to homeschool, but I just can’t at the moment.. and I’m devastated and frustrated. But, we made it through the morning and afterwards I drove to the headland, as I often do after taking my boy to school. Even though I don’t usually get out of the car, due to my insanely intense anxiety/cptsd, I still thrive on seeing and breathing in that magnificent ocean and coastal vegetation. It’s therapeutic. I usually sit there watching, in love and marvel at the brilliance of it all, wishing I could just get out of the car and walk and explore and take in all the beauty. Today.. I did just that! I got out of the car. I walked. I marvelled. I explored and took photos and made sure to consciously stop and take moments to breathe and be, to reign in the anxiousness and to savour my presence in amongst nature. My prayers were answered this morning. We moved our bodies to school and I walked. We faced fears. We had a sense of calmness overcome and win over the top of the enemy’s lies and fear mongering. It might not seem like much to anyone else, but we made big steps and accomplishments this day. Praise God.

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A post shared by Coastal Street Party (@coastalstreetparty) on Jun 26, 2019 at 6:10pm PDT

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Anxiety

Anxiety is..

An overwhelming, uncomfortable feeling inside swirling throughout your entire body and soul, not knowing how long it will stay or how concentrated it will become.

A horrible feeling and will come on unexpectedly.

Trying to avoid being the first in line at traffic lights.

Trying to not let the thoughts take over when you happen to be first in line at the traffic lights.

Thinking that reality is a figment of your imagination.

Being terrified you’ll do something stupid or embarrassing.

Trying to act ‘normal’.

Playing back in your mind every little part of your coffee date or catch up with friends from earlier in the day, cringing at the annoying things you said, worrying that you said or did the wrong things, or that people will think you’re annoying.

Trying to make your face be still.

Overwhelming focus on what your face is doing or how you’re walking.

Avoiding pedestrian crossings.

Avoiding eye contact with any men you find attractive (which is so super helpful as a single woman - not).

Avoiding places with lots of people.. especially the ‘cool’ people.

Avoiding places with not many people.. especially the ‘cool’ people.

Having to mentally prepare for hours before leaving the house.

Imagining walking outside the fence.

Being stuck in your mind.

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The secret to a peaceful world is in the transformation of the individual; we do not need to love perfectly or be fully healed, we just need a critical mass of people who understand that to harm one another is to harm oneself. 🌺🌸🐬🙏🏽✨ If you give love, you will see that this is not only medicine for the earth, but also for your soul. 🌺💞✨ ✨ 📸 by @dcvln at the @whalerscovepoipu First quote by the amazing @yung_pueblo… so true especially in today’s time. ✨ #fullyraw #vegan #inspiration #motivation #paradise #love #vegansofig #vegansofinstagram #hawaii #beach #ocean #bikini #health #healthy #vegetarian #mindset #positivevibes #positivequotes #positivity #happy #joy #rawvegan #diet #detox #travelphotography #travelphotography #travel #traveler #island (at Kauai)

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Thank you for supporting small business. It seriously means the world to me.

Thank you so much to all those who support me and other small businesses. Lord knows I need this little empire of mine to grow. I need this so I can survive in this crazy world. I need it so I can work from home and be there for my child. With my anxiety, this business allows me to keep from sinking. Self preservation. My child needs me 24/7, this business will let me be with him. My older children live far away, this business will let me go to them if needed. This business will help me.. To live. To celebrate and dance. To have some nice clothes. To have some little luxuries. To give gifts. To support other small businesses. To help others. To see others be proud of me. I know I don't need these things to BE. But they are super nice. And one day I hope it will allow me to take some vacations and buy a new car and have our own home and escape to the countryside or travel Australia and homeschool. Or not. Who knows. I'm a dreamer. I want to live a peaceful, self sufficient lifestyle. I want to be free. I was a late starter in life. And I know there's others out there like me. I am a survivor. I am a mental health warrior. I want to inspire others who are struggling. I'm doing the best I can with what I've got each and every day. I've come so far, but still, some days are just so hard. Money and time and the lack thereof, are the absolute hardest. Sadly and frustratingly so, lack of money holds so many dreams at bay, it's horrible. And sometimes there seems no way out. Sometimes it's so hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel. I just keep believing and crying out to Jesus. These are tough times. I just need to get through this little bit. Then I can build better, faster and stronger. Thank you for your support and patience. Thanks for sticking by me. I'm learning so much along the way. I can't wait to bring bigger and better things. And so for now. I'm hoping and doing my best to stay positive and beautiful and I'm praying and praying and praying.

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Marvel-ous party celebrations. My boy turned 8!

THE CAKE. This time last week. We were in party mode for my babe's birthday. My anxiety was incredibly high on the day and in the days/weeks leading up. But, I needed to be strong, determined, prayerful and focused on what I needed to do and get done in order to make my babe's day as special as I could possibly make it. Due to my nervousness about all the wheres, hows and intricate details involved with throwing a party, I'd left it too late to order a vegan cake locally (same weekend as Mother's Day!!). Last minute I found somewhere to purchase a delicious raw vegan cake, but I knew my babe had his heart set on a spongy style, tall, layered, Thor inspired cake. So, I had to remain focused and mentally strong.. and.. equiped with a secret recipe (given to me in the few days prior to party) along with some empowering words spoken over me to complete the task, I took the plunge and attempted the cake myself. I baked four successful cakes to layer, and stacked them all together with filling. Then it was time to frost and decorate. After an unsuccessful attempt at fondant, and in the final hours, I had to resort to a buttercream icing.. in baby pink and blue.. rather than Marvel red and blue. Not the ideal or imagined result for either of us, but it was a cake.. and it had a high possibility of being edible (I had tasted one of the layers and the icing and they were good). And, more important, my boy had unbeknownst to me been watching and appreciating the whole thing, all my efforts I had put in to making his day and the cake special (He told me so. My heart was was so full of gratitude at the amount of gratitude he had for me). Finally, I stuck some chocolate lettering and a Thor figurine on top and waalahh! It did the job. And it was vegan! Everyone loved it! Hallelujah! #divineconnections #anxietywarrior #motherhood

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Sustainable clothing. Empowering women.

Empowering the seamstress, weaver, designer... CSP supports fairtrade and sustainable initiatives. The artisans in India who make the fabric are paid fairly, and the artisans and seamstresses at the workshop in India are paid fairly and have a supportive network around them. All involved experience good working conditions and the natural fabrics do not expose workers or the environment to toxins through toxic materials or practices. I am doing the best I can with CSP to empower in the most sustainable and kindest ways possible. I too am empowered. For so long I have experienced anxiety and have previously battled with depression. This creative outlet allows me to work from home where I can feel safe, able to follow my calling and to make an income for me and my youngest child (my two older children have grown their beautiful wings and left the nest). I hope and pray that the world loves my work. This is my happy place.

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Empowering women. Images - Simone Marie, thestyleline, Richard Branson, Lorraine Murphy

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The making of my environmentally friendly postcards and my creative (and getting things done) process.

It always takes me so long to decide on anything, to perfect something and be super happy with my work. And once I've reached the point where I'm in love with my designs, words, artwork or anything, I then need to figure out how to finance it. And then, when I'm ready to go ahead with something, after everything has come together and fallen into place, I start the overthinking and critiquing of my work again. And along with all the doubts and anxieties about whether I still love it, or whether anyone else will love it, the thought process takes me to a point where I have to just take a leap and allow my work to be. To just be as it is. In its beautiful state, as is. Because it is beautiful, the rawness of my mind, out in the world for all to see.

So. For the postcards, right before we went away on our recent trip to Tassie, I made up three designs relatively quickly (over the course of a few hours, and then chopped and changed things over a few days), (over)thought things through, then found myself with enough money in the account to take advantage of the sweet deal PrintTogether had right then just emailed (it came through right when I was having online discussions with my team about the designs, the words and where to have them printed (and by team I actually mean my informal sort of team, my go to people, my daughters, Miss 23 and Miss 24.. my go to advisors, confidantes and ones for me to bounce ideas off and think out loud to. And whilst they may not always be filled with joy with my overexcitedness and anxieties, and may not always necessarily enjoy my constant running by of thoughts and ideas, or even think that my creations are mindblowingly fabulous, they listen and entertain my ideas nonetheless, whether the ideas are small scale or grandiose, it's all super important business in my head, and my gorgeous girls are always constant, beautiful, intelligent, entertaining and super wise. Whilst maybe not always feeling the same feel for what I'm feeling, when they both love an idea simultaneously, it sets my creative pursuits on fire. I love when they love what I'm dreaming up and working on). Where was I? Talking with my girls and receiving emails from the Print Together. So, it all just fell into place, I stopped overthinking for a moment and ordered the postcards. Done. The cards arrived in the mail a few days later (whilst we were away). My mother sent me some photos of them and they looked great. We got home and they looked and felt even better. So happy.

Nb. The creative process. Every single time, my mind just can't help going off on tangents. But in the end it all makes sense. I think.

Love Michelle xo

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A few days ago we (Master 7 and myself) arrived home from a 12 day adventure to Tasmania, and whilst we were away these (top photo) arrived in the post, and they are gorgeous! Postcards! I finally managed to organise some cute postcards for the business. Thank you to Print Together. They are superb quality! (Not sure that I'm a wizard of words or anything, but they certainly printed up beautifully). Quote image via Instagram.

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Never give up on a good thing. #sustainablefashion #design #create #consciousliving #anxietywarrior #thegooddream #organiccotton #coastalstreetparty #whomademyclothes #inspiration #adidaswomen #mamamia4women #ladystartups #richardbranson #inspire #educationiskey #changemakers #australianfashion #fashionblogger #ethicalfashionblogger #ethicalfashionforum Image repost @adidaswomen (at Australia)

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As a young girl I remember playing with my little blue plastic sewing machine and my mother's fancy blue metal one. My grandmother used to whip up the cutest little clothes for me and my Barbie Dolls and my brother and sister. I never imagined I could turn something I loved into a career. And now years later, my calling is clear, I'm finally following my heart, believing in myself, and I'm determined to make this dream a reality. I need this. I want this. In light of all the obstacles and barriers, I will break through. #believing #believer #crochet #sewingmama #grandmother #women #sustainablefashion #design #create #consciousliving #anxietywarrior #thegooddream #organiccotton #coastalstreetparty #whomademyclothes #inspiration #adidaswomen #mamamia4women #ladystartups #richardbranson #inspire #educationiskey #changemakers #australianfashion #fashionblogger #ethicalfashionblogger #ethicalfashionforum

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“Take a chance. It’s the best way to test yourself. Have fun and push boundaries.” - Richard Branson #richardbranson #ethicalliving #consciousliving #sustainablefashion #havefun #workhardplayhard #doit #anxietywarrior #coastalstreetparty #ethicalfashionblogger #crane #egret #palmtrees #blueskies #entrepeneur #dreamhuge #screwitletsdoit #writer #author #inspiration #thegooddream

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The Perfect Party Pants for the festive season are almost here!!! One size 12 has arrived. Yayyyy. You know, I love designing and creating, and with my anxiety constantly playing a part, this sort of work is kinda perfect for me. It allows me to work from home in my own space and create. But when it comes to marketing and selling things, it becomes so hard. I love marketing but I struggle all at the same time. #ethicalfashion #sustainablefashion #anxiety #flurofriday #mentalhealthawareness #organiccotton #botanicaldyes #fairtrade #artisanship #mumpreneur #anxietywarrior #ptsd #coastalstreetparty #partyseason #festiveseason #ethicalfashionblogger #lovepeaceharmony #ladystartups #mamamia4women

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Check out some of the latest photos just in from India of the beautiful team at Zenana Women. These photos show some of the different parts of production of the upcoming garments for CSP. Washing, fabric checking, ironing, cutting, stitching and finishing. I love seeing who makes the clothes for CSP and how the garments are made, and as I'm not able to travel to India just yet, photos are the next best thing. Thank you so much Isha for sending these. 🌿 #ethicalfashion #sustainablefashion #zenanawomen #startupfashion #empoweringwomen #artisanship #ethicalfashionblogger #organiccotton #whomademyclothes

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I love this 

How did you became so confident with yourself?

I have insecurities like everyone else, but learning to love what’s different about yourself makes you the most interesting. I try to get really quiet to hear the whispers of my emotional GPS and trust my gut. 

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Just incase you have been wondering what I've been up to, here's a little update. I've been studying.. all things teaching. And with 2nd semester over, I can now focus more of my time on CSP, with new design preparations in full swing, leading to the release of a few new pieces (hopefully) in the very near future. The beautiful team in India @zenanawomen are making things happen for me as we speak. And in amongst all this study and design, my main and most important role is to be the most beautiful mama I can be to my gorgeous children. So, life is super busy, but super exciting and brilliant all at once. Balancing everything and finding the right paths for me is vital. Anxiety is a constant thing for me, so balance, harmony, self preservation, self love, and holistic and natural approaches are key. And I'm doing it! God is good. I keep taking steps, following my passions, and the paths before me keep opening up to reveal more and more of this beautiful wonderland. My three main passions. My children, my design work, and my teaching career path. Exciting times right now. There just does not seem enough time to experience all the wonderful and exciting things in this lifetime. So, my main focus currently is to balance my three main passions. There are many more things which I'd love to work on and spend more time with, but I know I need to focus and make some progress in these areas first and foremost, the rest I'm sure will follow. Praise God. Why I am completely passionate about these? 1. I want to teach and work with children, helping them to believe that they can dream and become the very best version of themselves. And 2. Making beautiful ethical clothing and decor pieces has the power to transform many lives. And 3. Being the best and most beautiful mother I can possibly be to my heart meltingly, beautiful children is why I'm here. So here I am.. deeply spiritual, in love with my children so so much, I want peace and love to flow throughout the world, I feel beautifully connected to nature, and my head always seems to be in a flurry. I am dancing along to my own music. And I love it. Living consciously. Much love to you and yours Michelle xo Images. - Jelly at Lifehack. - @portiamoodie.bp Instagram. - @kahla.dowler Instagram. - CSP