comandersprings

[comandersprings]

The Most Dreadful Time of the Year (Yuta & GN!Reader)

Note: Turns out I recently learned that in-universe, Gojo dies on December 24th. Because I find that way too cruel (I hate you, Gege) and I know what it's like to be depressed during the holiday season, I ended up writing this. This is also the first time I post something actually Christmas-related during Christmas, even if this piece is far from being a happy one ^^; Either way, I hope you all like it!

Warnings: Mentions of death

Word Count: 3,239

Summary: Although they say Christmas is the season to be jolly, that's not the case when said season coincides with the anniversary of the death of your significant other. You are deep into your sorrow, but a chance encounter will help you change your perspective.

• • • • • • •

November 14th

Just when you were starting to lift your head and rediscover what it felt like to breathe without the weight that had settled on your chest since that day, it happened.

You were sitting on the couch, watching a TV show. It was nothing to write home about, but at least it kept you entertained. When you least expected it, the show went on a commercial break. You sighed. The ads were all the same as every day and every hour. Although your eyes were still on the screen, you didn’t pay attention to them, but that was until a particular commercial came on. It opened to a bucket of fried chicken. Slowly, the camera zoomed out to reveal a family sitting at the table and in the corner of the dining room, a bushy Christmas tree wrapped in colorful garlands and adorned with shimmering balls.

The weight on your chest returned and suddenly, you were on Shinjuku again with Sukuna’s taunts echoing in your head and Satoru dying in your arms and your throat stuffed with screams and wails you couldn’t let out because you didn’t want him to go with the image of you being a devastated mess. The invisible wound that had finally started to heal gaped open once again somewhere in your heart and with trembling hands, you reached for the remote and turned the TV off although the ad was almost over.

It was like a bad joke. All the progress you had been making seemed to vanish in an instant, but you couldn’t say it was shocking because you knew this would happen. Everyone told you so: anniversaries were hard, especially the first one. 

And just then, you realized his birthday was coming up too. God, Satoru’s birthday. The first one without him. The first one taking the bouquet of blue roses you always got him to his grave instead of giving it to him.

How were you supposed to do this? You desisted on telling people about your grief long ago because you felt you were burdening them. They didn’t say it, but you could see it in their eyes, in the tone of their voice, in how their words of sympathy and encouragement became more and more generic every time, in the way they tried to change the subject when they had the chance…

You lay on the couch and curled up, taking deep breaths to ease the tightness in your chest. The silence of the living room was deafening and you almost turned the TV back on, but what if another Christmas commercial came on and you felt worse? You closed your eyes and let out a harsh exhale. You’ll get through this , you told yourself. You just had to be strong and patient.

December 7th

Like almost every week, you walked into the cemetery. You already knew the area you traversed on your way to Satoru’s grave by heart, from the tombstones to the names engraved in them, to some of the dates of birth and death. It was a familiarity that made your heart shrink, one no one should ever have to fall into and still, despite being used to these visits, today’s felt heavier than all the others. But it was no wonder.

You reached your destination and swallowed hard. Seeing Satoru’s name on that marble headstone still gave you a lump in your throat and a hopeless thought that this was a nightmare you were about to wake up from. That, of course, wasn’t true. However, the sight of new and fresh flowers put a small smile on your face. They were probably from Shoko and his students. It was nice to know that you weren’t the only one thinking of him today. Had that been the case, you would have been crushed.

“Hey, baby,” you said, your eyes fixed on the tombstone, “I’m here again.”

You approached the grave a bit more and crouched in front of it, taking an empty vase with one hand as your other arm cradled the bouquet of blue roses you just picked up from the flower shop. As always, you had ordered it two weeks in advance.

“I’m sure you know what day it is today.” You lowered your head and added, ”Or rather, what day it should be.”

You had put some water from one of the cemetery’s fountains in a bottle so you could fill the vase with it without having to walk away from Satoru’s grave. As stupid as it could sound, you didn’t want to leave him alone even for a second. Especially not today.

You placed the bouquet in the vase, making sure the wrapping didn’t get too messed up. It was something you had done countless times by now, but your hands were shaking and you weren’t doing it as perfectly as you’d like. You shook your head and continued to adjust the flowers until the white cellophane enveloping them was no longer crumpled up.

Sighing, you stood up again and said, “I bought your favorite flowers, like always… But I wish I was giving them to you like I did last year.”

Your eyes stung, but you ignored that. You opened your bag and out of it, you retrieved a small box, a single candle, and a lighter. Inside the box was a simple, chocolate frosted cupcake. You opened that box and took out the cupcake, placing the candle right in the middle. You lit it up and stared at the flame dancing before you for what felt like forever. You were thinking of what to say before blowing it out. There were so many things in your mind you didn’t know where to begin. You bit your lower lip and swallowed once again.

“Things shouldn’t be playing out like this,” you began, “I wish you were blowing out the candles in a big cake, and that I could kiss you like I always did afterward. I wish we were celebrating it with the kids, that you were cracking your usual jokes about being a year closer to becoming an old man…”

You got a bit choked up and a couple of tears escaped your eyes. You wiped them away with your free hand.

“I know I always say it, but you shouldn’t be here and today, I feel it even harder than usual.” Your eyes flickered down to the candle. It had already consumed a little. “I also know you don’t want to see me this sad, but I can’t help it. I need you here.”

You took a deep breath. Getting the words out was harder than you anticipated, but you had to do it. You wet your lips and released another exhale.

“Happy birthday, Satoru. I will always love you.”

Your vision blurred out with tears, but you blew out the candle. The smell of the flame being snuffed out reached your nostrils. You wiped your tears again and gave the tombstone a wistful smile. You were still sad, but now you were proud of yourself… and you were sure Satoru was, too.

December 20th

Christmas had taken over the city like a virus—in your eyes, anyway. You couldn’t escape it, everyone was in a festive mood and everything revolved around Christmas. The lights adorning the streets felt far too bright this year, and the carols blaring from seemingly every shop far too loud. You used to love their lyrics about happiness, unity, love, and family, but now they were a harsh reminder that your sorrow was just a drop in the ocean of the world. Life went on for everyone else, the world didn’t give a damn that you were hurting.

Today, however, you decided to go out for a walk. You had been cooped up in the house for days now, only leaving it to go to the nearest store. Satoru would have told you that staying in for too long was bad in the long run, no doubt.

You took your coat and scarf and headed outside. It snowed yesterday. It wasn’t a lot, but it was enough for the temperatures to go down further. The moment you left behind the apartment’s entrance, your breath froze into a small cloud in front of you.

Besides lights and festive music, the street was also crowded with people. Lots of people. They took up a big part of the sidewalk and you found yourself obligated to walk at a snail’s pace behind them. You were already regretting leaving the house and you did even more when your eyes landed on a couple passing you by, laughing and holding hands without a care in the world. You lowered your head and remembered all the times Satoru took you to see the Christmas lights —and how you two would kiss underneath them— or the various markets around Tokyo. Now you were all alone and surrounded by reminders of what you no longer had.

Because your gaze was on the floor, you didn’t notice a woman walking in your same direction. You ended up bumping into her and she didn’t take it kindly.

“Why don’t you watch where you’re going?” the woman chided, shooting you a glare before leaving you behind.

Maybe it’s her who needs to watch where she’s going, you thought. Despite the incident, you refused to look up. You didn’t want to see the shiny happy people around you, you were only there because you needed some fresh air.

The numbing cold on your fingers made you realize you should have put on some gloves too. You shoved your hands in your coat’s pockets and sighed, your freezing breath making itself visible once again. You weren’t going to spend much more time outside, either way. You intended to turn back after crossing the street. The pedestrian crossing was already visible a dozen meters away, so it wouldn’t be long until you’d be back in the comfort of your home. 

You really couldn’t wait for that, and you could wait even less after bumping into someone yet again. Your shoulders tensed and you braced yourself for another scolding from a stranger but instead, you heard your name spoken in a gentle, questioning tone. Then you looked up and found yourself face to face with Yuta.

“H-hey,” you greeted the boy. Your eyes darted on their own to the scar on his forehead. As hard as you tried to think of something, you didn’t know what else to say.

Yuta scratched the back of his neck and gave you a nervous smile. He wasn’t sure of what to say either.

“Hi,” he said finally. After a pause, he added, “It’s hard to walk around here, isn’t it?”

You snorted and gave him a slow nod. “You tell me. You’re the second person I have run into.”

You two remained silent again, but it was clear there was a conversation to be had. The people walking past you receded into the background and then, Yuta posed the question you knew was coming.

“How are you doing?”

That was a question you had heard a like hundred times at this point. It often came from people who didn’t actually want to know if you were okay, they only asked to make themselves look like good people. In Yuta’s case, however, you could tell he was genuine.

You shrugged and shook your head. “Not good. Everything reminds me of that day.”

“I understand,” Yuta said with a nod, “I know how hard it must be.” He looked down for a moment before landing his gaze on yours and added, “His birthday was a few days ago and the anniversary is also coming up.”

“Yeah…” You pursed your lips together. “By the way, were you one of the people who brought flowers to his grave for his birthday?”

“Yes, I was.” He smiled faintly, although he wasn’t sure if doing so was appropriate. “Itadori and Fushiguro brought him flowers, too.”

You found yourself smiling back at Yuta and without realizing, you had taken a hand over your heart. “Thank you. When I saw the flowers, I figured it was you guys who put them there. I thought of Shoko, too.” You took a deep breath and continued, “I’m glad he’s being thought about.”

“Of course,” Yuta said, “Gojo did so much for us all… It’s the least we could do.”

Damn it. You were feeling that warmth in your eyes again. You didn’t want to cry in front of one of your late boyfriend’s students, but you still got a knot in your throat that prevented you from speaking for a few seconds.

“I always thought you were a good kid,” you blurted out, “and Satoru did too. He was really proud of you.”

A pink hue crept on Yuta’s cheeks. “Oh, thank you!” The cold only intensified it.

You smiled again. It wasn’t a big smile, but it was still there. However, it faltered at the boy’s following words.

“Um, you don’t have to answer if you don’t want to, but… Are you doing anything for Christmas?”

You were quick to shake your head. “No. I don’t think it would be right. Satoru still wanted to celebrate Christmas last year despite what happened to Suguru the day before, but he was great at pretending everything was fine. I’m not.”

“That’s fine,” Yuta reassured you, “It’s like how Fushiguro isn’t celebrating his birthday this year. But still…”

“But still?” You furrowed your brows and tilted your head to the side. 

Yuta jumped a little. He must have thought you were mad at him, but the curious look in your eyes comforted him. “I don’t mean to tell you what to do, but I think you should do something to honor Gojo on that day. It’d give you peace of mind.”

You parted your lips to say something, but nothing came out. Yuta is right. You had been so focused on dreading Christmas time and all the painful dates December brought with it that the idea hardly crossed your mind. You already did something for Satoru’s birthday and even if it hurt, you had to acknowledge the anniversary of his death too. You’d probably feel guilty if you didn’t.

“You know what? I will do it.” You took your hands out of your pockets. “I admit I hadn’t contemplated that until now and I think you’re right: it might help me feel better.”

“Good.” Yuta nodded. “You don’t have to do anything big either, just do what you’re the most comfortable with.”

“I already know what I’ll be doing.” You smiled at the boy. “And I don’t mean to cut this conversation short, but I need to go somewhere for that now.”

“Don’t worry about that. It was nice seeing you.”

“The same to you.”

You were about to bid Yuta farewell, but you changed your mind at the last second and took him into a light parting hug. The boy didn’t say anything, he returned your hug without hesitation and patted your back.

When you pulled away, your eyes were glossy. “Take care, alright?”

“I will,” he said, giving you a weak smile. “Take care too.”

You gave Yuta a short nod and then, the two of you parted ways. You were no longer heading back home. As you told him, you had somewhere else to go now.

December 24th

You had just got home from the bakery. Satoru’s favorite bakery, to be exact.

Before going there, you went to the cemetery once again. You brought him a big fat bouquet of roses, except they were red this time. When you reached Satoru’s grave, you saw that other people had brought flowers this time too. There were even more than on the day of his birthday and the sight —although it was one you wished you weren’t seeing— moved you to tears.

In the bakery, you picked up the Christmas cake you ordered after talking to Yuta—although it was just a piece rather than the full thing. An entire cake would have been too much for you alone.

It was the classic sponge cake with strawberries, the same one Satoru bought for the two of you every year. The whole version had various Christmas-themed chocolates and a Santa Claus decoration, but the slice you got only had the strawberries and a chocolate wreath on top. That’d be more than enough.

You placed the box containing the slice of cake down on the dining room table. Before eating it, you lit up some incense and prayed inward. When you were done, you went back to the table and opened the box. The clerk had included a plastic fork inside the box, so that’d save you having to go fetch one from the kitchen. You took the fork but before finally eating, you still had something else to do.

You lifted your head and looked straight ahead, at the empty seat in front of you.

“This is just like on your birthday,” you said, “you should be here with me, and yet…”

You took a deep breath before continuing, your eyes still on the same spot.

“To most people, today is Christmas Eve but to me, it’s the first anniversary of the day you were taken away from me. From me and from all those who cared about you.”

You lowered your gaze towards the cake. You were getting choked up again. It took you a moment before being able to lift your eyes and continue talking.

“I’m sure you have seen that I don’t intend on celebrating Christmas. I haven’t even put up the tree or anything, but I still got some Christmas cake because I know how much you loved it.

“I didn’t want to let this day pass without doing something to show you that you’re always in my mind, although you already know that. You also know how I’d prefer for this one to be like any other Christmas Eve.”

You thought of how last year, at this same hour, Satoru was still alive. He gave everyone words of encouragement although he had a bad feeling about the whole thing. You did too, but you ignored it. You wanted to believe that everything would go well because it’s what you all deserved. Of course, life had other plans because life often doesn’t care about what people deserve or not.

Finally, you took a small piece out of the cake using the fork. You lifted it to your lips and before eating it, you murmured, “Here’s to you, baby. I love you.”

And you took the forkful of cake into your mouth. It tasted just as always, although nothing was the same anymore.

However, after the second forkful, it was almost like you could see Satoru sitting across from you, on that empty chair. Although you were home alone, you didn’t feel like it. You felt like he was there with you although you couldn’t see him.

You continued eating. The corners of your lips twitched before finally rising into a smile. Your chest felt the warmest it had in a long time and at that moment, you couldn’t be happier you followed Yuta’s advice. You also decided this would be your new Christmas tradition. It’s a season supposed to revolve around our loved ones, so why not include in it the ones who are no longer with us?

[comandersprings]

Moments Like This (Gojo x GN!Reader)

Note: After months of being MIA, I come back with a new fandom altogether lol.

I never expected to become a Gojo fan, but here I am. My brother gave Jujutsu Kaisen a shot earlier this year; it only took him telling me about Gojo liking Digimon and him taking care of one of the characters (Megumi) since he was a child for me to grow interested. He is now one of my main comfort characters and so, I wanted to post something for his birthday. I hope you all like it! <3

Warnings: None

Word Count: 1,285

Summary: In which you and Gojo revel in each other's company before hitting the pillow.

• • • • • • •

“Check this out,” Satoru says as he leans towards you, phone in hand.

He’s showing you a short video of a cat in a banana costume. It’s everywhere and he has seen it countless times by now, but it never fails to make Satoru chuckle and in turn, you chuckle along with him. The video starts again and he lets it play. You lean your head on his shoulder as the images follow one another before your eyes. This time, when the short ends, Satoru scrolls down in search of a new video that’s interesting or amusing enough.

You keep your head on his shoulder, watching and hearing milliseconds of videos as he swipes past them. Soon enough, however, your mind drifts and you no longer pay attention to those fleeting frames. Your thoughts go to how his and your back are comfortably resting against the pillows, how the thick blanket you took out of the closet last week because it was getting too cold covers your legs, how Satoru casually drapes an arm around your shoulder… Moments so mundane, yet so rare with how busy he often is.

As he continues to scroll with his free hand, the one he has placed on your shoulder rubs its thumb back and forth over the fabric of your pajamas. You nuzzle your head against him almost imperceptibly and lift your gaze from the phone’s screen, looking up at Satoru’s profile. He still makes your heart flutter like when you were starting to fall for him, back in your teenage years, and you can’t help the soft smile that crosses your lips as you take in his relaxed expression.

Just as you’re about to turn your attention back to his phone, Satoru looks at you. He flashes an almost smug smile that makes his eyes crinkle. “Caught you.”

You shake your head, releasing a soft snort. “You always catch me.”

You go back to resting your head on his shoulder and when you do, Satoru leans his head on yours. You smile once again because every little display of affection he presents you with makes your heart skip a beat. You watch him scroll past the feed of videos until he reaches one with a black Belgian Shepherd that appears to be frowning.

“Doesn’t it remind you of Megumi?” he asks with amusement —and a hint of fondness— in his voice.

“What?” you laugh, comparing in your mind the dog’s expression to the one Megumi almost always wears. “A bit, yeah.”

The browsing continues for a few more minutes until you notice Satoru’s arm drifting down. You shake him gently and he turns his head towards you, eyes half-lidded.

“Was I falling asleep?” he asks, half-smiling.

“Yes, you were, and you’re not the only one. I feel like I could fall asleep soon, too.”

“Alright, let me leave this on the nightstand.” Satoru puts his phone down and he lies on the bed, extending an arm towards you. “Come here.”

He doesn’t need to tell you twice. You lie down, your head on his chest and his arm around your waist, like every time you get to sleep by his side. As Satoru reaches to turn off the lamp by his side of the bed, you wrap your arms around his frame, but you realize you should be turning off your lamp as well. Although you are way too comfortable now and you’d rather not move, you take care of the light on your nightstand and envelop Satoru in your embrace once again.

You two bid each other goodnight and a light silence falls upon the room; the only sound that can be heard is that of your steady breathings—although for you, it’s also the sound of his heartbeat. If someone witnessed this peaceful moment, they would never guess that you and Satoru often see yourselves in life-threatening situations.

Minutes tick by and although you are definitely sleepy, you can’t seem to drift off just yet. You open your eyes and look up at Satoru again. Turns out he isn’t asleep either: he looks at you the moment you move your head, although his movements are slow and somewhat groggy.

“I hope I didn’t startle you,” you say, placing a hand on his chest.

“Nah, don’t worry. I wasn’t fully asleep yet.”

You smile at him and lay your head on his chest but as you do, an idea dawns on your mind and your smile widens. You lift your head again and shift upwards so you can have a look at his face. Satoru’s eyes are still open and even in the darkness of the room, you can see a glint of amusement in them.

“There’s something I’d like to do, but it might be a bit silly.”

He raises an eyebrow. “A bit silly? You know I like silliness, so don’t be shy.”

You take a moment to answer, swallowing hard and mentally laughing at yourself for feeling almost as giddy as you did when you shared a bed with him for the first time.

“It’s just… I thought we could switch our positions so you’re lying on me.” You lift your shoulders with a coy smile gracing your face.

Satoru grins at you. “And you call that silly?” His smile softens. “I like your idea. Let’s do it.”

He waits for you to lie on your back and he moves downward, wrapping his arms around you and placing his head on your chest, right above your heart; Satoru can hear it racing. A soft huff of laughter escapes his nose, but he makes no comment.

With him snuggled against you, you run your fingers through his white locks and lean down to press a kiss to the top of his head. You can feel him tighten his arms around you ever so slightly and you do the same in return.

You love every moment you spend by his side, no matter if you two are being goofy together, fighting side by side, or “going somewhere nice”—as Satoru calls it when he takes you out for dinner. However, it’s moments like this you treasure the most: the simple ones where you just bask in each other’s company, the ones that make it clear how big of a part he has in your life. You wouldn’t trade them for anything.

As for Satoru, he couldn’t be more thankful to you. When you are with him, he can drop that cocky, “the strongest” persona he puts on to reassure both himself and those around him. You see him for who he is and although he can’t spend as much time with you as he’d like, you never reproach him over it. Instead, you give him unconditional love. Sometimes, he wonders if he deserves you, but he never voices it. He knows you’d look at him all puzzled and say that yes, of course he does.

Satoru can feel himself fall asleep, but there’s one thing he needs to say beforehand. Although you are still playing with his hair, he lifts his head to look at you.

“Hey.”

You stop your motions. “What?” you ask, letting your hand stay on the back of his head.

The passing car that briefly illuminates the room as it drives past your apartment allows you to see the smile on Satoru’s lips and the soft, almost slack look in his eyes.

“I love you, baby.”

You chuckle tiredly, but the grin lighting up your face has the energy of a thousand suns. In response, you hold Satoru even closer to your chest, but not so close your embrace would prevent him from hearing your answer.

“I love you too, Satoru.”

[comandersprings]

[CLOSED] Open For Writing Commissions

I have opened writing commissions again! All the relevant info is in my pinned post. Don't hesitate to send me a message if you have any questions <3

[comandersprings]

Writing Description Notes:

Updated 6th June 2024 More writing tips, review tips & writing description notes

Facial Expressions

Masking Emotions

Smiles/Smirks/Grins

Eye Contact/Eye Movements

Blushing

Voice/Tone

Body Language/Idle Movement

Thoughts/Thinking/Focusing/Distracted

Silence

Memories

Happy/Content/Comforted

Love/Romance

Sadness/Crying/Hurt

Confidence/Determination/Hopeful

Surprised/Shocked

Guilt/Regret

Disgusted/Jealous

Uncertain/Doubtful/Worried

Anger/Rage

Laughter

Confused

Speechless/Tongue Tied

Fear/Terrified

Mental Pain

Physical Pain

[comandersprings]

When I opened commissions I mentioned I could write for Digimon, but I have never made any Digimon-related posts. It's time to change that 👀

A few weeks back, they revealed a new evolutionary line for Impmon. Its design is clearly inspired both by Guilmon's evos and punk music. Today we learned these mons' names: Punkmon, Loudmon, and Heavymetaldramon.

There's something that makes this really amusing to me. I have a Digimon OC who belongs to an ambitious OC centric Digimon fanfiction I never really began working on (besides a backstory piece for one of the characters). Her name is Ayane Eguchi, her partner Digimon is Impmon, and...she wants to become a guitarist.

It almost feels like this new evo line was made for her. However, I'm not ashamed to admit that the reason she gets the classic evo line is that I want her having to deal with crushing on Baalmon (and later Beelzemon). Here's an old Twitter thread with a few more details on that topic, as well as more trivia on Ayane herself.

That being said, I'd really like for her Impmon to at least have access to Heavymetaldramon. I could make it so it's a dark evolution that happens once or twice in a dire situation, or simply an alternate evo her Impmon is capable of depending on the situation, much like with Gammamon and his different Champion forms.

I have no idea how or if I'll go back to that Digimon fanfiction I have mentioned. Its main problem is that there are too many characters that would be part of the story, but I'm really fond of some of the concepts I came up with and I don't want to get rid of them. I'll have to see what I'll do.

[comandersprings]

On Deaf Ears

Note: I want to thank a friend of mine for helping me come up with the title. They go by x_They_Who_Remain_x on AO3 (you can find this fic there too) and their writing is awesome, please go check them out!

Warnings: None

Word Count: 1,148

Summary: Kieran calls out Carmine for having bonded with Ogerpon behind his back. Carmine tries to reason with Kieran and make him see she meant no harm. Looks like neither is getting the other.

• • • • • • •

“You sure are lively for someone with an upset stomach!” Carmine complained as she strode behind her brother, trying to catch up with him.

Kieran had been acting off even before boarding the plane that would take them both back to Unova. He refused to come out and bid farewell to Juliana under a claim of dealing with an upset stomach. Carmine thought nothing of it because she knew her little brother would sometimes eat too many sweets, so it was only natural that his stomach hurt if he did. It wasn’t the first time it happened, either.

However, his behavior during the plane trip made Carmine think that wasn’t the actual reason why Kieran didn’t say goodbye to his new friend. To begin with, when his stomach hurt, Kieran would sort of curl into a ball, yet he was sitting perfectly fine in his seat. He also avoided eye contact with his sister, his eyes always fixated either on the floor or on the window next to him. 

Kieran was awfully silent too. Despite his shy nature, he always had something to talk about when it came to Carmine. After all, she is one of the people he trusts the most, along with their grandparents. Carmine tried to get a conversation going at several points during the flight, but her brother would only respond with monosyllables or—even worse—not respond at all.

So there she was now, trying to find out what was actually wrong with her brother before he entered his room. She had a feeling he wouldn’t leave it for the rest of the day and if they were to talk, it had to be now.

“You can’t keep giving me the silent treatment forever, you know?” Carmine was walking closer to Kieran now, but they were also getting closer to his room.

The boy only looked ahead of him and tried to pretend that his sister wasn’t there, but her constant nagging was making that harder with every passing second. She should know why he was acting that way. To Kieran, while Juliana committed the greatest offense, Carmine was to blame, too. He didn’t want anything to do with his sister at the moment, but it appeared to him that she didn’t get that.

A few seconds later, the siblings finally reached Kieran’s room. The boy took the key out of his pocket and opened the door. 

Seeing how her brother wasn’t going to say anything, Carmine got serious. She folded her arms across her chest. “Are you going to tell me what’s wrong or what?” the girl insisted. Kieran crossed the threshold and tried to close the door, but Carmine put her foot in the way. “I swear I’m not leaving until you tell me what’s up.”

Kieran clenched his jaw. He wanted to tell her to leave him alone, but he knew that’d be useless. Instead, he just stood aside so his sister could walk into the room. He didn’t bother restraining himself when closing the door, slamming it shut before standing in front of it in a not-so-subtle invitation for Carmine to leave as soon as possible.

“You know I don’t buy the ‘upset stomach’ thing, right?” Carmine rested her hands on her hips. “Although I’ll admit you almost fooled me.”

Kieran exhaled and shook his head. “I’m too tired for this. Just come see me later.”

“No, I won’t wait until later. I’m tired too, but I don’t think I’ll be able to rest until you tell me the truth about—”

“You’re talking about telling the truth?” the boy glared at his sister. “Maybe you should apply that to yourself first.”

“I knew it.” Carmine’s gaze flicked upward. “All this is because I didn’t tell you that Juliana and I met Ogerpon, isn’t it?”

“It’s not just because of that.” Kieran approached Carmine with an almost defying stance. “You knew Juliana wanted to keep Ogerpon to herself and you let it happen. I’d even say you made sure it happened,” Kieran accused while pointing a finger at his sister.

“Hey, stop right there!” Carmine raised her hands. “We were just helping Ogerpon retrieve all of her masks. It’s not my fault she and Juliana ended up bonding.”

“Don’t talk as if you didn’t bond with Ogerpon, too!” the boy turned around to hide the way his chin trembled. “You excluded me from that experience despite knowing full well how much I always wanted to befriend her.”

“I’m sorry, okay?” Carmine leaned back. “I didn’t know things would turn out like that, so don’t blame me for any of it.” 

Kieran faced his sister again. This time, his eyes were glossy. “But you could have done something to stop it.”

“Stop what?” the girl spread out her hands. “What did you want me to do, handcuff Juliana to a radiator so she didn’t catch Ogerpon?”

“Don’t try to be funny!” her brother clenched his hands. “You clearly have no idea how hurt I am by all this.”

“And you have no idea how hurt I am from seeing you act this way,” Carmine retorted. She crossed her arms once again. “Trust me, I do understand your frustration, but things don’t always go the way we want them to. You must accept that.”

Kieran’s whole body tensed up as he heard her words, but Carmine didn’t take notice of that until she was done talking. She also noticed the way he stared at her: it was a hard, cold glare. Carmine had never seen that look in her brother’s eyes and she took a step backward without realizing.

“So what you’re telling me is to just deal with it, right?” the boy questioned, his tone just as stony as the look in his eyes. “If that’s what you think I should do, then… Leave.”

Carmine couldn’t believe she was in such a situation. She was the one clenching her hands now. “Do you realize how irrational you’re being now? This is not like y—”

“Leave. Now.” Kieran cut her off as he pointed at the door with a sharp movement.

His sister raised her hands and went silent. She walked past him and shot him one last, worried glance before opening the door. Carmine intended to close it herself, but she suddenly felt Kieran yank on the doorknob from the other side and slam the door shut so harshly that the glass in a nearby window trembled. 

The girl still stood in front of the door as the bang of it being closed echoed on her mind. Kieran was already too deep into his anger and disappointment. It was clear he wasn’t open to listening to others, but she wasn’t going to abandon her brother. Getting through him would be difficult, but Carmine would find a way. Damn right she would find a way. She wasn’t the older sister for nothing.

[comandersprings]

Everyone please take a look at my son 🥹

[comandersprings]

I decided I won't post any future works to SquidgeWorld. I have nothing against the site, but seems it still has a small userbase and my stuff barely gets any hits there (my most seen work has 23 hits). I will stick to AO3 and this blog.

[comandersprings]

Double Celebration

I keep forgetting to come here and post about this, but it was my birthday on the 17th! It was a fun day and I got a cute shirt and a bracelet as gifts...but my birthday wasn't the only thing I celebrated.

The previous day, the results for the university access exam were made public. A classmate from the classes I attended to prepare for the exam sent the link to the class' group chat, so I immediately opened it and saw that my overall score is 7,37, which means I have passed! 🎉 Now, if I had the money, I could study my desired career, which is Spanish Language and Literature. I'd have to find a job and save up first but for now, I'm proud of myself because I finally have that possibility. I'm glad all of my hard work paid off!

[comandersprings]

I'm back!

I've been quiet for a very long time, haven't I? Well, now I'll be around more often: yesterday I finished my university access exams, which means no more classes for me. I'll get the results on Wednesday (which also happens to be my birthday) and I'll keep you all updated on them. I think it went pretty well overall, so I hope my score reflects that.

Now that I have free time again, I can go back to writing as much as I want to. However, my mind feels kinda dense and I think I'm gonna have to adapt to the writing habit again lol. Either way, I'm hoping to deliver something new sooner rather than later 😉

[comandersprings]

Juliette's Moodboard

Here I come with yet another Brave New World-related post (I swear I'll post something else some day lol) 🤭 I suddenly got the idea to create a moodboard for Juliette and I said, "Why not?". It gives me an excuse to share more info about her and to make this blog a little more lively now that I can.

You will find a little explanation for each picture under the Read More. I'll be going over them in order starting by the first one in the top row. Now, without further ado...

This picture reference's Juliette's botany hobby. She already had this interest back in the original BNW...although it was hardly ever brought up, if at all. I want to make this aspect of her character more prominent this time: plants will be a recurring theme/symbol during the story but first, I need to do some research on the topic so I can make cool references without sounding like a fool lol.

No moodboard is complete without a quote and this one includes two of them. This quote reflects Juliette's insecurity around people. To her, meeting someone new isn't a chance to make a new friend, but more like a chance to be disliked by yet another person. Juliette has a history with bullying in Kalos that has deeply affected her confidence and, while she knows that moving to a new region means leaving all those people who hurt her behind, she fears the cycle will repeat in Alola.

If you're a Pokémon fan (which you probably are if you're reading about a Pokémon OC), this picture is self-explanatory. It represents Zygarde and Juliette's connection to it. She will soon get to have it in her team after reuniting ten cells, thus getting herself its 10% Forme. Zygarde will be in that form most of the time, unless particular battles require it to use more power.

This picture is also related to Juliette and Zygarde (if you're curious, she nicknames hers Fenrir) and it's there to explain the reason for her interest in this Legendary Pokémon. Since she was little, Juliette has loved reading about the various myths surrounding the Kalos region and, as a nature lover, she can't help but feel especially enthralled by Zygarde's. A god-like Pokémon that watches over the ecosystem and embodies order, balance, and justice? Of course Juliette is going to love that!

Okay, this one is supposed to represent a little what she looks like (or at least her hair color lol), but it's also a nod to her living in Paniola Town, as the setting of the picture seems to be a rural one. I wanted a picture of a brown-haired girl with her back turned to the camera because I don't like giving my characters faceclaims. There's obviously nothing wrong with that, but I prefer not to associate their appearance to someone else's when my characters already have a particular look in my mind.

This is the last picture I put in. I was desperate because I didn't know what else to include, but this image's vibes made me think of Juliette's bedroom: a cozy place where she can retreat to and spend time on her own or with her Pokémon. Of course, she'll definitely have a plant or two in her room.

Here's another self-explanatory picture. This quote represents Juliette's awkwardness, which is fueled by her fear of saying the wrong thing and messing up in front of others. She really only feels at ease around her family, but as the story progresses Juliette will learn to open up more to other people and not be as afraid to talk.

Another thing that can never be missing from a moodboard is at least an outfit picture. I wasn't 100% sure what to pick here, but I always had clear that Juliette isn't super girly and that her way of dressing is a pretty casual one. As I was browsing through Pinterest, I saw these overalls and now I find the idea of her wearing something like that pretty cute. They are comfortable and on top of that, gardeners are usually depicted wearing them, so this also plays into her love for plants and botany.

And now for the last picture (I'm not sure if anyone will get to this point but if you do, thank you): I obviously had to reference her Kalosian origin. Although her school life there was far from great thanks to the social aspect, Juliette is very fond of her home region. Although the image depicts Eiffel Tower (which would be Prism Tower in the Pokémon world), she didn't live in Lumiose City, but Anistar City: the location closest to Terminus Cave, where we can find Zygarde in XY.

I realize I should have added at least an image that references Necrozma, but the thought completely escaped my mind while I was working on this. Regardless, I'd say I did a decent job. I would like to draw some sort of reference for Juliette, but I'm not very good at art 😅 Anyway, that would have to wait until I'm done with classes, drawing takes me forever as is.

[comandersprings]

I didn't say it in my post from earlier, but the reason I could write that is that I'm currently having four days off class 👀 That means I'll get to work on Brave New World, which brings me to my next point: Zygarde is very prominent in this fic and although it'd be nice to wait and see what new lore they come up with so I can apply it to the story in some way, I'd rather keep working on it and stick to my current plan. Besides, I can always make revisions later on.

[comandersprings]

POKÉMON Z IS REAL!!

I know I'm two days late lol, but I was busy with classes and I couldn't write a post until now.

I can't even begin to explain how ecstatic I am over Legends ZA. As you guys might have imagined by now, I'm a huge Zygarde fan and I've been wanting something like this for ten years. It's a dream that's finally and (unexpectedly) coming true. When I realized that what they were showing was Lumiose City and I saw the game's title on the screen, I was in so much disbelief I felt like I was inside a dream and I would wake up at any time. Luckily for me, LZA is very much real 🤩 It was about time for Zygarde to get the attention it deserves and for Kalos to have its many loose ends addressed. I can't wait for more information on this game!

[comandersprings]

Just dropping by to say I'm chipping away at that Brave New World revival (check this post if you'd like to see what I mean) whenever I can. I have a brainstorming doc and another one where I'm making a rough outline of the events. So far I only have the prologue, but I should be able to add Chapter One soon.

PS: I think I'll use "brave new world revival" as a tag for my posts related to it from now on lol.

[comandersprings]

A Brave New Start

Long time no see! It was about time I posted something here and, while it is fanfic related, it's not exactly the kind of thing I usually post. Now, look at this screenshot:

Brave New World is a very old Pokémon OC fanfiction I started working on back in 2017. It was a highly ambitious project that never really reached its destination, although I managed to write twelve chapters. Most of the tags don't actually reflect characters or events that one could find within these chapters, but rather things that would or should happen in the future. However, these things won't be happening now. In fact, if you go to my AO3, you won't find this fic. I deleted it on January 28th because I'm redoing this story.

Why January 28th? Because it's the day of 2017 I came up with the concept for this Brave New World's protagonist, Juliette Ronson. It's actually pretty silly: it all started because I saw that in one of the shops in SM they had both a cap and a pair of shoes themed after Zygarde. I suddenly thought, "What if I created a Trainer OC whose goal is reuniting all of the Zygarde Cells and having it as her partner?".

I actually started working on this story not long after, but then USUM were announced and I decided to wait and see what happened with Necrozma in these games because I really wanted to include it in the fic. Seeing its tragic backstory in canon made me want to portray it in a sympathetic light with Juliette being its biggest defender, but now that I look at my old notes I can see I gave it all a very melodramatic spin lol.

Many things will change for Brave New World, its main pairing being one of them. As you can see, I intended to ship Juliette with Kiawe. However, Game Freak has recently presented us with a character who, after some time, I came to see as a better fit for her (Hint: read the fanfic's summary and see if it reminds you of someone). I'd love to go on a tangent about this topic, but I'd rather save it for another day. This is not to say that Kiawe will no longer be a part of Juliette's life, they will be friends regardless. In fact, Juliette will still have a crush on him for some part of the story, but she decides it's best to let it go because of reasons (Spoiler: he's taken).

Something that won't change is having my friend as a co-author of the story. Not only she offers interesting ideas and good insight, she also allows me to have one of her OCs in it and I wouldn't have it any other way. My friend's OC is called Luana and she becomes Juliette's closest friend. Their personalities contrast and complement each other at the same time, making them an interesting duo. I can't wait to write about their interactions again!

That's all I have to say about Brave New World for now. I always try to work on the new version's draft here and there, whenever my busy student schedule allows me to lol. I will post stuff about the rewriting process from time to time because I'm pretty excited about sharing this renewed version. I think it will not just show my growth as a writer, but also as a person.

[comandersprings]

Commissions closed

Sorry for the radio silence! Studies are obviously taking up most of my time now, haha.

Just dropping by to say that commissions are now closed! I don't rule out opening them again in the future, once classes are over. I only got a commission, but the friend who requested it has been of great help and thanks to her, I can make the fee's payment without worrying.

Also thanks to the people who still drop likes (I even got a reblog!) to my stuff despite me being M.I.A, I hope to be able to post something new eventually. Take care, everyone ^^

[comandersprings]

I'm going back to school today, which means not having as much time to write. Regardless, commissions will still be open until the 20th, so don't hesitate to message me if you got an idea!