communityincorrect - Tumblr blog

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annie: can you keep a secret?

troy: yeah, we can keep a secret.

annie: what?

troy: yeah, me and abed are like a vault. no one else will know.

annie: no, i want you to know. i don't want abed to know.

troy: if you don't want abed to know, then why are you telling me?

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annie: you know what, britta? you’re pretty cool.

britta: the cooliest?

annie: don’t ruin it.

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britta: hey jeff, what are you looking at?

jeff: [taking a cosmo quiz about what holiday candle scent he is] porn.

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annie: what are you, five?

jeff: yeah, five heads taller than you.

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jeff: raise your hand if you don't like me.

annie: and what do we do if we like you?

britta, both hands in the air: raise your standards.

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troy: that’s it, we're going mattress shopping.

abed: you know, once we get it, we'll have to break it in.

troy: oh, i hear what you’re saying. mattress trampoline.

abed: ...

troy: wait, no, you were talking about sex.

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abed: we tried things your way.

jeff: no we didn't?

abed: i went over it in my head. it did not go well.

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annie: i once had a crush so bad that i didn't know how to handle it so i just filled their room with heart shaped confetti.

jeff: you know, that's so funny, because once i went into my room and found it filled with heart shaped confetti!

annie: really? how fun! i have to go water my dog.

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annie: jeff, do you ever want to talk about your emotions?

jeff: no.

troy: i do.

annie: i know, troy.

troy: i’m sad.

annie: i know, troy.

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jeff: personally, i blame you.

britta: how can it possibly be my fault?

jeff: because otherwise it would be my fault. and that can’t be right.

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annie: wait, you read my diary? that stuff’s personal!

jeff: look, in my defense, i didn’t realize that it was your diary at first. i just thought it was a very sad, handwritten book.

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annie: abed is washing the dishes and i just heard him say, “who do you work for?! who’s your contact?!” while repeatedly pushing a glass under the water.

troy: at least he’s having fun.

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jeff: oh please. you wouldn't hurt a fly.

annie: you’re right. because a fly is an innocent creature who never knowingly did anything to anybody. you, however, i would maim.

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annie: oh, fiddlesticks.

britta: look, i understand this is a tense situation, but let’s watch the fucking language.

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[at a bar]

jeff: i’ll have a beer.

jeff, pointing at troy: he’ll have a capri sun.

troy: jeff, i’m an adult.

troy: i can pay for my OWN capri sun.

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annie: we look cute together.

jeff: i look cute with everybody.

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britta: look at all these lovely married couples.

britta, through megaphone: 50% of you will statistically divorce!