confessionxblog

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Mental Health Hotlines and Resources

Many of these resources are based in the United States. I plan to update this post in the future with expanded resources.

(U.S.) National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: Just dial 988. Crisis intervention and free emotional support are available, which is helpful when you need confidential assistance during a time of emotional distress for you or a loved one. The helpline is open 24/7 and allows for both phone calls and texts. A live online chat is available, as well. https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/

Crisis Text Line: Text CONNECT to 741741. Specialized crisis counselors are just a text message away on this free confidential 24-hour support line. To further protect your privacy, these messages do not appear on a phone bill. The text line also provides services and support if you are upset, scared, hurt, frustrated, or distressed. https://www.crisistextline.org/textline/

Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA): 800-662-4357, SAMHSA runs a 24-hour mental health hotline that provides education, support, and connections to treatment. It also offers an online Behavioral Health Treatment Locator to help you find suitable behavioral health treatment programs. https://www.samhsa.gov/find-help/national-helpline, https://findtreatment.samhsa.gov/

Veterans Crisis Line: 800-273-8255, Text a message to 838255. Operated by the Department of Veterans Affairs, these services aid veterans and their families who may be in crisis by connecting them with VA responders. https://www.veteranscrisisline.net/

Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network (RAINN): 800-656-4673. RAINN is the nation’s largest anti-sexual violence organization. They also have a live chat function. They are a free, confidential service that is available 24/7 for survivors of sexual violence and their families. https://www.rainn.org/

The Trevor Project: 866-488-7386, is also available via text (678678) and online chat; it is the leading national organization providing crisis intervention and suicide prevention services to lesbian, gay, bisexual, queer, & questioning (LGBTQ+) young people under 25. When browsing the website, you can click/tap 3 times quickly to close the page and clear it from your search history. https://www.thetrevorproject.org/

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I’m absolutely sure I’m going to get dumped this weekend. Got the “we need to talk” message and everything. I’m dreading it, but I’m also selfishly relieved. I’ve been wanting to break up for a while but have been too afraid to go through with it.

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my “close friend” didn’t call me on my birthday, apologized because she was busy but said she’d be free soon, then literally never called after that and it’s been a month

i have tried to schedule times to talk several times since then since she has a busy life but have been told “oh not right now for x reason but soon! yeah!” and then it never happens

we made plans to talk this weekend but she completely ghosted then showed back up on monday and made a joke about it (not an apology)

now she is posting pictures of driving from out of town to visit a different friend

i,,,,,,,, don’t know how i’m supposed to not be upset by this. this is more of a rant than a confession but i’m angry and hurt.

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I don’t want to date my girlfriend anymore, but I feel too guilty about the prospect about breaking up with her during quarantine because I wouldn’t be able to do it face to face.

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I live with a roommate (we have our own rooms) and the walls are thin. Last night I heard her with a man. I thought they were just talking and I was trying to sleep but I heard a noise so I kept listening and realized they were having sex. Her little moans and whimpers were unexpectedly a really huge turn on and I ended up masturbating while I listened in.

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how many fucking ways are there to say “I don’t want to be alone right now” without having to say that

how come i’m expected to be the friend who’s always there when you need her but when I’m sending out every possible cry for help, it’s just crickets

thanks

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known

I think you know me as a crater

An empty space, a bowl

An untouched hole

For you to fill

I think I know you as a volcano

A great mountain, a chamber

Bubbling up

Waiting to explode

I see you as something too much

And

You see me as nothing at all

I mistook

Your pulling back

For making room for me

Recognizing what I hold

Letting me pour into you

I should have known you

were only dormant

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I am so unbearably jealous and hurt and upset about this situation and I need to vent. I used to have 2 really close friends at school. One was my freshman year roommate and one was a friend I met through my program; I think I introduced them. The 3 of us were always together, always messaging each other, always involved in each other's lives, planning trips, going out, staying in, laughing, crying - everything. My freshman year roommate, C, is still pretty much my closest friend. I know we've got each other's backs, I can trust her with anything, and I know she knows that, too. I'm not worried about our relationship. We're good. But in the past few semesters, I've had a falling out with L. It happened gradually. It started when she signed up to work at my workplace without asking me first - which, okay. I can get over that. Most of my initial anger at that was just a weird, childish feeling of "no, that's MINE." But I kept thinking about it, and even outside of my selfish reasons for not wanting her there, I had legitimate concerns. She tends to put a lot on her plate and then crack under the pressure, and this job requires a good amount of focus, planning, TIME, and emotional labor - I worried she'd either break down about it OR put it on the back burner because it's not a priority for her. I love my job, and I knew i'd feel hurt if she didn't make it a priority, ESPECIALLY if she wanted to talk to me about it. I worried I'd have to comfort her for not liking a job that I absolutely love. I worried she'd want my advice all the time, or worse - I worried she'd refuse to take any advice and dismiss my experience. I convinced myself I was being silly, that my concerns were unfounded, but within a month or two, ALL of those things happened. She talked about how she wouldn't do the job if it weren't for the good paycheck, and scoffed at me when I told her it meant a lot more to me than that. She came crying to me when she thought she wasn't good at the job, and didn't speak to me for days when I told her that there's always a learning curve and that she needed to work at it if she wanted to improve. She dismissed advice I gave her about scheduling with a "no offense, but forgive me if I don't listen to YOU because..." It was humiliating and I was angry. She'd also act like an expert when someone asked about our work, never mind that she'd only been there for less than a few months and still talked all the time about how she hadn't settled in to it yet. Anyway. The job thing was really only the tip of the iceberg. L thinks of herself as a Great Ally - someone who's always there to listen and learn and admit their fuckups - and that's true, to some extent. She's happy to learn and be a listening ear in terms of greater communities + institutional/social marginalization, and I'm glad. I admire her for that. But she does NOT do that when it's personal, when it's with people close to her, when it affects her directly. If a friend - me, C, or anyone else - tells her that she's made a mistake or done something to hurt us, her immediate reaction is to cry and make it about her. I was angry at her once because I felt like she was cutting me off socially on a trip where I was trying to meet people, so I was trying to keep quiet and keep my distance while I calmed down (hard to do, since we shared a hotel room). She could tell that I was upset, and she burst into tears and kept talking about how she didn't want to ruin my night and how she felt like such a horrible friend, and it got to the point where I ended having to comfort HER even though I was angry. It's not that I wanted her to feel sad, or that I didn't want her to express how she felt, but this is a trend with her - I feel like I'm not allowed to have any kind of emotions or to ever be upset with her in any way, because she reacts by making it about how performatively upset she is. This is ALL THE TIME. "L, I was hurt when you left me out of x." "IM SO SORRY I AM SO AWFUL I UNDERSTAND IF YOU HATE ME" "L, thank you for trying to check up on me, but you're not being helpful right now, please give me space." "OH NO IM SORRY I KNEW THAT I KNOW YOU COPE WITH THINGS DIFFERENTLY AND I SHOULD HAVE JUST LEFT YOU ALONE I'LL SHUT UP NOW YOU SHOULD HATE ME" and in all of these situations, I end up rubbing her back and telling her it's ok and i don't hate her etc. etc. which is all true - I DON'T hate her - but it ends up minimizing the actual problem and turning it into Comfort L Time. And always, ALWAYS, when the comforting is over and she's calm again, she stops being willing to admit to whatever she did, and starts to play it off as "a big misunderstanding" where "everyone overreacted" and "haha but it didn't matter and we're all good now!" Where in my head, I'm saying ".....no, it wasn't a misunderstanding, no, I didn't overreact, no, we're not 'all good' if you're going to pretend you were never at fault." We've been drifting apart for months. I don't want to pretend that she's the only guilty party; I'm sure I've made mistakes, too, but I have absolutely no idea what I did. If L asks me if I'm upset or if she did anything, I'll pretty much always address why I'm hurting (if that's happening) and what I need. If I ask L if she's upset or if I did anything, she'll say some variation of "what? no! we're fine! you're great! lol" and then go to someone else - usually C - upset about how she and I don't get along anymore or there's "tension," but will absolutely never address anything with ME. back to C. Remember how I introduced L and C? I'm glad they're friends. I was glad when we were all friends! We planned a camping trip last fall together at a beach I'd never been to before, and most of the planning was "omg, she hasn't seen this, let's show her x!" It was silly and fun and I was really excited. We didn't end up being able to go - hurricane season hit - but we decided on a rain check. Well, when spring break was rolling around, L was telling me that she and C had been talking about revisiting the beach plans, and that she "wished I could come" but "knew I'd be busy." When I told her that I actually had a lot of free time that week, she was suddenly dodgy about the whole thing, saying "well, who knows if it'll work out," etc. It was blatantly obvious that she didn't want me there. She wanted to take our planned trip with C, without me. I asked C about it and she told me "no... I definitely told L you'd be free... that's why I was pushing for later in the week when you'd be here, but she kept trying to move it earlier while you were gonna be out of town..." So. It definitely wasn't in my head. She DEFINITELY didn't want me to come, and she also lied to C about it - when C confronted her, L claimed she'd never mentioned the trip to me. Ever since then, I feel like L is trying to "take" C from me. I know C is a person and she doesn't belong to any of us, but she and I are really close, and I hate feeling like someone is trying to keep us from spending time together. I would never try to make her choose between me and L; I know she loves both of us and wants to spend time with both of us, and that isn't a problem. But I know for a fact that L doesn't like it when C spends time with me. According to C, if I'm even brought up in conversation, L's attitude changes and she doesn't want to hear anything at all about things that C and I did together. She's also said a bunch of things to C about how she loves being close to her, and keeps guilt-tripping her and saying how she doesn't feel important or special or like a "priority" and it FEELS like she's trying to get C to ALWAYS put her first, ALWAYS hang out with her more, forget about her other friends because she wants to be The Best Friend. And it SUCKS! I know C can make her own choices, but she's uncomfortable, too. She feels isolated. She feels like L doesn't want to share her and it makes her feel cut off from everyone. I'm hurt by it, too, obviously. I see the thousand pictures L posts with C and I know it's irrational, but in my head, I've worked myself up enough to tell myself she's gloating/throwing it in my face. I haven't spent a lot of time with C recently because I've been in and out of town, and L knows that, and with her posting a bunch of pictures, talking/posting all the time about how much fun they're having and how close they are, and even changing her profile picture to a phot with C in it... I don't know. I think I'm just being bitter and overreacting at this point and imagining intentions that aren't there, but when my feelings are hurt, all of it FEELS like she wants me to see that they're closer now. They actually did end up going to that beach without me. C apologized and planned to take me there another time; L never mentioned it to me at all and posted a bunch of pictures from the trip documenting how amazing it was and how much fun they had together. I guess she got what she wanted, but like... fuck. The jealousy I'm feeling is irrational because I know my friendship with C is solid, and good, and healthy, and no one can really threaten that. So, I'm trying to get over the jealousy. I know it's dumb. But the anger? The anger is real. And I feel like the hurt - at least most of it - is justified. I don't know what to do. I just needed to rant.

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me: not gonna get involved, not gonna catch feelings, not gonna care

also me: checks the posts of the guy I slept with to see if he's said anything abt it

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I seem to attract friends with depression. Almost all of my friends have it and I don't. I always thought I was a good friend and a shoulder to cry on, and that I'd be there night and day if my friends ever needed it. My confession is, I was wrong. I'm tired of dealing with their problems. I feel like a bad friend for that and I probably am but I don't want to hang out with people 24/7 just to sit there and try to cheer them up. I hate it. Everyone has stories about friends that they can go anywhere and do anything with, go on adventures, party, spontaneously go for a drive, just hang out and talk about the meaning of life or even watch a movie. I've never had a friend like that, who I can just have fun with without always being sad or talking about their exes or who they're upset with or what's going wrong for every single minute we're hanging out. I'm not a therapist! It's not that I don't care or want them to feel better, but I literally have never had a 100% good time with them without rubbing them on the back and listening to their problems and saying I'm Sorry at least once. I just want friends who aren't sad. It's insensitive and they have it a lot worse actually having depression than I do "dealing with it", but I don't want to listen and comfort all the time anymore.

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no offense but I don't care about Discourse™ on good tv shows..... I don't care that you've decided a 14-year-old side character is satan because one thing she said was Problematique and I don't care that you are Morally Against tagging spoilers because your anger is righteous and Everyone Must See and I don't care that you're mad that a show that handles real, upsetting issues portrayed a real, upsetting scenario in a real, upsetting way i mean, I'm here for calling out legitimate problems on shows with a history of fuckups. but scary or upsetting or problematic characters and dynamics and events don't always reflect Awful Showrunners! have u ever considered..... that as a viewer....... you are supposed to feel and think about things? maybe that complicated upsetting thing on the show is made to make you think and consider the issue at hand??? not hate the writers for writing a scene that makes you feel stuff????? just a thought

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send me confessions of any sort

pls i’m bored

u can be anon

it doesn’t matter

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i can't help falling in love with you

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I have a friend who needs constant validation and it pisses me off. I know it's not her fault and she's had bad experiences, but I can't handle being responsible for cheering her up and complimenting her all the time. I KNOW it's not fair and it's mean of me, but I don't want to play babysitter whenever someone says something mean to her and she cries about it.

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sometimes I submit nudes anonymously to places that post them because I want to see them appreciated but i don't want them linked back to me

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When I was 11, I made up a story about kissing a boy, because my friends were starting to and I was embarrassed that I hadn’t actually done it yet. I told all my friends the story, and got so used to answering questions about first kisses with that story that at some point, my real first kiss came and went. I’m 18. To this day, I genuinely don’t remember who or when my real first kiss was.