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The Inner World of the Dissociative Individual

Images of the “Inner World” of Dissociative Parts

Many people with a dissociative disorder (though not all) visualize an inner space or world in which their parts reside, and they may also visualize an image of a particular part. They may describe inner scenes such as hallways with doors, houses with rooms, or particular scenes in which parts “live,” such as a child huddled in the corner, or a teenager with stringy hair who looks very angry.

These images are helpful because they can be changed therapeutically to increase inner safety and communication. For instance, rooms may have intercoms installed for better communication, or the image of a warm blanket or stuffed toy might be added to the picture of a child huddled in the corner to increase a sense of safety and comfort.

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Awareness of Parts for Each Other

Dissociative parts may have varying degrees of awareness for each other. Some are not aware at all of other parts or are only aware of a few other parts. One part may be aware of another, but not vice versa. Some may be aware that other parts exist but do not understand the meaning of those parts. Even when parts are aware of each other’s existence, they often are not in agreement about issues that are important to the person as a whole. One of your goals in using this manual is to learn to develop skills for reaching agreements among parts–which is different from forcing other parts to comply with you or ignoring their needs.

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The Influence of Parts on Each Other

Regardless of the degree to which parts are or are not aware of each other, they do influence each other. Any part may intrude on and influence the experience of the part that is functioning in daily life without taking full control of functioning, an experience referred to as passive influence (Kluft, 1987) or partial intrusion (Dell, 2002). In the previous chapter we discussed briefly some of these intrusion symptoms. You can be influenced by other parts in your thoughts, feelings, body sensations, perceptions, urges, or behaviors. For example, while in a store, people with a dissociative disorder may hear an inner voice that says, “Get out, get out, it’s not safe in here! You have to go home!” even though they know that nothing is wrong. This is more than a wish, but rather a desperate inner voice that comes from another part of the personality that may be visualized as a terrified young child.

Perhaps such individuals might also hear or sense other inner voices that tell the child part to shut up or that complain about how stupid they are to go shopping because they do not need anything. Such people may then feel confused, ashamed, and afraid of what is happening inside themselves and might feel a sense of impending doom, as though something terrible is about to happen. And all the while, they remain aware that they are simply in a store where everyone else is going about their business quite normally.

In addition, they may hear or sense interactions among several inner parts so they feel like a bystander to a conversation or argument in which they are not included. These intrusions have a different quality than the normal distress some people without a dissociative disorder may experience in a crowded store (“This store is crowded and I am eager to finish and leave”). Instead, it is as though a person with a dissociative disorder has (at least) two completely different minds that do not understand each other or are conversing about completely different topics. These intrusions may seem so bizarre or alien that you might have worried that you are insane, but this is not the case. Even though you may not fully understand yet, other parts of you have their own agendas, their own perceptions, thoughts, feelings, wishes, needs, and so forth for good reasons.

Your challenge is to learn about and accept them without judgment, even if you do not agree with them. Only from that point of understanding can you make changes that support all parts in working together more smoothly

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The Basic Functions of Parts of the Personality

Although each person may have some unique features of his or her dissociative parts, there are some typical underlying similarities in the basic functions of parts. When people have been traumatized, their personality is generally organized into at least two types of parts based on functions. The first type of part is focused on dealing with daily life and avoiding traumatic memories, while the second type is stuck in past traumatic experiences and focused on defense against threat (Van der Hart et al., 2006).

The part(s) of the personality that function in daily life often comprise the major portion of the personality. Most people with DDNOS have only a single part that functions in daily life, while those with DID have more than one. This type of part usually avoids dealing with or even acknowledging other parts, though it may be influenced by them in various ways, which we will discuss below. This part may avoid situations or experiences that might evoke traumatic memories. Such avoidance originally helps people cope with daily life while keeping painful (past) experiences at bay. However, over time, it results in a life that becomes increasingly limited. While the part of the personality that copes with daily life is avoidant, at least one other and usually more than one other part remain “stuck” in traumatic memories and think, feel, perceive, and behave as though these events are still happening (at least to a degree) or are about to happen again. These parts are typically stuck in repeating behaviors that are protective during threat, even when they are not appropriate. For example, some parts fight to protect even when you do not need such protection in the present, others want to avoid or run away even though you are safe, some freeze in fear, and others completely collapse. These parts are often highly emotional, not very rational, limited in their thinking and perceptions, not oriented to the present time, and are overwhelmed. They primarily live in trauma-time, that is, they continue to experience the traumatic past as the present, and hold emotions, beliefs, sensations, and so forth that are related to traumatic experiences.

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Experiencing Too Much: Dissociative Symptoms Involving Intrusions

Other Changes in Awareness

Dissociation is strongly associated with other changes in awareness that are common in everyone and are also found in other mental disorders; thus, they are not unique to dissociative disorders. These symptoms may be easily produced by fatigue, illness and stress, and drugs or alcohol, and they are often only temporary. They include not feeling present; spacing out; being very forgetful and losing track of time; inability to concentrate or pay attention; being so absorbed in an activity (for instance, reading a book or watching a movie) that you do not notice what is going on around you; daydreaming; imaginative involvement; trance-like behavior, including “highway hypnosis”–driving so automatically that you do not recall much of your trip and sometimes miss your exit; time distortions; and low mental energy.

These symptoms may range from mild to severe, may be merely an aggravation, or may seriously impair a person’s function, and they may be more temporary or more chronic (Steele et al., 2009; Van der Hart et al., 2006). People who have a dissociative disorder often suffer from many of these changes in awareness to a serious degree, in addition to symptoms related to dissociative parts of the personality or self. In fact, each dissociative part may experience variations of these problems with awareness, and the intrusion or interference of dissociative parts may also result in some changes in awareness.

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Experiencing Too Much: Dissociative Symptoms Involving Intrusions

Dissociative intrusions are those symptoms that occur when one dissociative part intrudes into the experience of another. Intrusions may happen in any arena of experience: memories, thoughts, feelings, perceptions, ideas, wishes, needs, movements, or behaviors. That is why so many different symptoms have a dissociative underpinning. 

Possible dissociative intrusions include flashbacks of past traumatic events; sudden feelings, thoughts, impulses, or behaviors that come “out of the blue;” unexplained pain or other sensations that have no known medical cause; a sense of being physically controlled by someone else or other forces beyond your control; hearing voices commenting, arguing, criticizing, crying, or speaking in the background; or other jarring inner experiences that do not feel like your own. These experiences occur when a dissociative part of yourself enters your conscious awareness and you are privy to at least some aspects of what that part of you is experiencing. Such symptoms may wax and wane, depending on the circumstances and how much stress you are under.

At least in the beginning of therapy, it is often hard to know whether a symptom is dissociative, that is, related to a dissociative part of the personality. It is important for you to take your time in understanding the origin and meaning of your symptoms. One difficulty in recognizing dissociation is that people sometimes do not have words to describe their symptoms. It is important for you to practice being aware of and describing inner experiences, whether dissociative or not. This awareness will allow you to make more sense out of all of your experiences, and it will gradually help you cope more effectively with your inner experiences. The homework exercises at the end of the chapter are designed to help you become more aware of and more able to describe your dissociative experiences.

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Experiencing Too Little: Dissociative Symptoms Involving Apparent Loss of Functions

Time Distortions

People with a dissociative disorder often have related problems of time distortion (Van der Hart & Steele, 1997). They experience time passing by much too slow or fast; perhaps more time has passed than they thought, or an hour seems like an entire day. Some parts of the personality are often quite confused about where they are in space and time, believing they are still in the past.

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Experiencing Too Little: Dissociative Symptoms Involving Apparent Loss of Functions

Some dissociative symptoms involve apparent loss of certain functions or experiences that, in principle, you should be able to own. Thus, you experience “too little.” For example, you may have amnesia, the loss of (“too little”) memory for important events or segments of your life. Or perhaps you may suddenly seem to lose a skill or knowledge that otherwise is a natural part of your life, such as being able to drive or manage money. 

Commonly, people who dissociate report that they suddenly are unable to feel an emotion or sensation in their body: They become emotionally or physically numb. These losses are not permanent or due to medical conditions, such as dementia or neurological problems. They are due to the activity of other parts of the personality that are rather separate from you.

These losses are only “apparent” because the function or experience that tends not to be available to you may actually be available to another part of yourself. For example, although you may not remember being afraid as a child, another part feels fear or terror whenever certain reminders of childhood events are evoked.

You can see from this example that while you may experience too little (emotional numbness), another part of you may be experiencing too much, for example, overwhelming feelings. We will discuss symptoms of experiencing “too much” later in the chapter.

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Experiencing Too Little: Dissociative Symptoms Involving Apparent Loss of Functions

Alienation or Estrangement From Yourself or Your Body (Depersonalization)

Many people normally experience temporary forms of depersonalization when tired or stressed, and it is a common symptom in many mental disorders. There is some discussion among professionals about whether some depersonalization symptoms are dissociative or whether they might be better categorized as other kinds of changes in awareness (Boon & Draijer, 1993, 1995; Steele, Dorahy, Van der Hart, & Nijenhuis, 2009; Van der Hart et al., 2006). We describe these other changes of awareness in the last paragraph of this chapter.  

Feeling estranged from yourself often involves dissociative parts of the personality, for example, one part of you may feel numb, blank, or foggy, but there may be another part that likely is overwhelmed. Or you may have the experience of watching yourself from outside your body, and see another part of yourself doing things as if you are watching someone else. Some people with a dissociative disorder are able to know and recall what has happened in a situation, that is, they do not have amnesia, but they feel as if it did not really happen to them personally, as if it was a movie or a dream they were watching. Or they may know it happened, but they do not realize it happened to them, as though they were watching it happen to another person. In this way, they are able to continue to distance themselves from overwhelming experiences. Disconnection from emotions can make people feel as if they exist solely “in their head,” as if they are dead inside, or like they are “wrapped in cotton,” or feel like “cardboard” or “one dimensional.” It seems as though they are not really in the present; they feel unreal, like they do not really exist or have any control over their actions. Some people also report a sense of being on automatic pilot or like a robot. 

When people with a dissociative disorder are alienated from their body, they may be insensitive to physical pain or lack sensation in parts of their body. Some people report that they do not always properly register heat and cold, cannot feel whether they are hungry or tired, or feel numb in their body. Again, it is typically the case that other parts of the self do feel the physical pain, the hunger, or other bodily sensations. There are many different symptoms of depersonalization, but in every case it seems to be a way of avoiding or attempting to regulate overwhelming feelings or experiences. Depersonalization symptoms may be temporary or chronic.

Coping With Trauma Related Dissociation

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Experiencing Too Little: Dissociative Symptoms Involving Apparent Loss of Functions

Dissociative Amnesia (Loss of Memory)

Everyone has natural amnesia for most of life prior to the age of 3 years because of immaturity of the brain, and people may not recall too much about the years before school. Of course, no one remembers everything that has happened to him or her, and everyone has a degree of normal forgetfulness and memory distortion. But generally people should have a fairly consistent recollection of their lives and the major events in their lives by the time they start elementary school, enough to be able to tell a flowing narrative about themselves.

Amnesia goes far beyond normal forgetfulness. It involves serious memory problems that are not caused by illness or extreme fatigue, by alcohol or other mind-altering substances, or normal forgetting. Amnesia falls on a continuum. People with a dissociative disorder may recall some aspects of an event but not other essential parts of it. In some cases all memory for certain events is unavailable for conscious recall. Some people with a dissociative disorder describe their memory as being like “Swiss cheese holes,” “foggy,” or “full of black holes.” 

They may suspect that something happened, or may have even been told by others that something happened to them, but have no personal recollection of events and often feel afraid to think about them. 

People may have amnesia for longer periods of time during which normal life events took place, for example, a person may report being unable to remember anything from the fifth grade, or from ages 9–12.

People may not only have amnesia for the past but also for the present. This is called “time loss” and is a hallmark symptom of DIDs. People may find themselves in a place and have no idea how they got there, or they may report that there are hours or even days when they do not know what they have been doing. Or they discover that they have evidently done something (such as shopping or going to the library) but have no memory of doing so.

They may meet others who recognize them, but have no recollection of ever meeting the other person. Some people find that others talk to them about a topic as though there had been some previous conversations about it, but they do not recall any conversations, and the topic does not seem familiar.

These symptoms, when they are not due to stressful inattention, are often related to the fact that one part is engaging in a behavior of which another part has limited or no awareness. 

Thus, there are parts that go shopping or to the library, while other parts are unaware of these actions, or in more extreme cases, parts that may have their own friends while other parts have never met these people. Frequent or prolonged time loss is much more common in DID than in DDNOS.

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Experiencing Too Little: Dissociative Symptoms Involving Apparent Loss of Functions

Alienation or Estrangement From Your Surroundings (Derealization)

In addition to alienation from yourself, you may also have the unsettling experience that your surroundings or people around you seem unreal. For example, your own house may appear to be unfamiliar, strange, or unreal, as though you are visiting someone else’s house. Or a person you know well may seem strange and unfamiliar. The world may feel unreal as though you are in a dream or a play. Sometimes your surroundings may appear hazy, foggy, or distant. People’s voices may sound very far away, as if down a long tunnel, even though they are close, or they seem far away visually even though they are right next to you. In people with a dissociative disorder, these symptoms of unfamiliarity or unreality may, at least some of the time, be related to parts of the personality that are living in trauma time, that is, they confuse the present with the past and thus do not experience the present as real or familiar. These parts may influence your perception of the reality to such an extent that you can become confused.

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Many people with a history of early traumatization have not had many opportunities to experience a safe environment or safe relationships, and therefore they have been unable to develop a sense of inner safety and security. Thus, it may be hard for them to even imagine what it feels like to be safe. They may know cognitively that their current environment is safe, and yet they do not feel safe or comfortable at all, as though something terrible is going to happen any minute. And even when their present situation is safe, some parts of them remain stuck in trauma-time, unable to experience the safe present. 

In addition, traumatized individuals often do not feel safe with their own inner experiences, that is, with some of their own emotions, thoughts, sensations, and other actions of dissociative parts. Subsequent avoidance of inner experience makes it hard to stay present, and it sets in motion an inner cycle of fear, criticism, and shame, adding yet more to a lack of inner safety.

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Types of Triggers

Following you will find an explanation of different types of triggers.

Time-related triggers. 

You may have heard of “anniversary reactions,” in which a person has a predictable and involuntary reaction on or around the anniversary of a traumatizing event. This experience is most well known in people who have intense grief reactions each year around the anniversary of the loss of a loved one. But anniversary reactions may be evoked for a wide variety of other events. At first, you may not recognize an anniversary reaction, but you or your therapist may begin to notice that you, for instance, become depressed, or very anxious, or feel suicidal around the same time each year, time after time. 

Time-related triggers may also involve a time of day or a particular period of time, such as weekends or holidays (see also chapter 16). For example,  some traumatized people may become increasingly fearful and anxious as it becomes dark each evening, related to overwhelming experiences that may have occurred around that time.

Place-related triggers. 

Many people find it hard to return to places where they were abused or had other highly distressing experiences. This avoidance can generalize to other places that remind them of the original situation, prompting them to evade more places and experiences to prevent triggering. For example, if a person had been robbed or assaulted on a bus, he or she might be inclined to avoid all busses. And eventually, this person may come to avoid any public transportation, including trains, trams, and planes. 

Many traumatized people regularly report that they are upset or overwhelmed by crowded spaces, such as shopping malls, long checkout lines, or crowded waiting rooms. Their aversion often has nothing to do with a traumatic memory, but rather they feel overstimulated and trapped, which may be similar to inner experiences they felt during traumatic events in the past. Even though some parts may be triggered by certain places, other parts may not be; they may even enjoy, for example, riding in the train or flying, or being at the mall. These contradictory experiences may set up internal conflicts, because some parts may dismiss or even be unaware that a trigger is problematic for other parts.

Relational triggers. 

Relationships themselves are often triggers. Relationships and any perceived threat to them evoke the most powerful feelings in everyone, for better or worse. When you have been mistreated by others, intense feelings of abandonment, rejection, humiliation, shame, panic, yearning, and rage are often easily triggered by the minor ups and downs that are a natural part of even the best of relationships. And when a serious relational disruption occurs, it can feel catastrophic. Some parts of you may always be on guard, looking out for any cues that perhaps you are being rejected or criticized, and thus they may overlook important cues to the contrary. Others may desperately seek out relationships, not attending to whether they are healthy (see chapters 28 and 29 for more about relationships). Many patients with complex dissociative disorders rightly felt criticized, lonely, and misunderstood as children. Anger or critical remarks by a partner or a friend in the present may quickly give rise to a partial reliving of old experiences, such as intense fear of being abandoned or misunderstood, or fear that you cannot speak your mind without terrible consequences.

Internal triggers.

People who have a dissociative disorder have typically learned to avoid much of their inner experience in order to avoid traumatic memories (see chapter 5). Any inner experience may be triggering, such as the sound of another part talking or yelling, certain emotions (anxiety, anger or shame, and so forth), sensations (such as pain, sweating), needs (such as wanting to be comforted), or thoughts (such as “I wish I was dead” or “I am not happy in this relationship”). Some parts may even provoke other parts as an internal reenactment of old experiences. For example, a highly critical part might scream that you are stupid when you are trying your best to cope with a difficult problem at work. This inner experience may be quite similar to some you may have had as a child. 

Sensory triggers. 

Body sensations are a particular type of internal trigger. These may resemble similar sensations that occurred around the time of a traumatizing event. Smells are particularly potent triggers. Other sensations include pain, the racing heart and breathlessness of anxiety, feeling too hot or cold, nausea, thirst, hunger, stomachache, the need to eliminate, or even certain body postures. Some women may be triggered by the sensations that accompany menstruation. The sense of being touched by another person may be especially triggering from some individuals.

Triggers for Positive Experiences

Triggers are usually thought of as negative, but some triggers evoke positive feelings and memories. For example, looking at pictures of a nice holiday that you enjoyed, the smell or taste of a specific food, or particular music may all evoke positive memories and feelings of contentment or warmth. Positive triggers are important because they can help you find some enjoyment and calmness in the present. In fact, your personal anchors are positive triggers that help you stay in the present.

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Understanding Triggers

A trigger (or reactivating stimulus) is something that bears a literal or symbolic similarity to an aspect of an unresolved traumatic experience. It may be a present-day situation, an interaction with another person, an object, or even an inner experience such as a particular feeling or sensation, a smell, or a position of your body.

Parts of you then may automatically react in similar ways as during the original traumatizing situation, that is, parts of you have conditioned reactions that you cannot consciously control. Being able to accept traumatic experiences as your own is not easy, and it may take some time and work before you are ready.

This manual is meant to offer you opportunities to learn and practice the skills you need to be able to achieve the task of fully realizing what has happened to you. In the meantime, you may find that you continue to have problems from time to time with being triggered, because some dissociative parts of yourself remain stuck in trauma-time and thus are vulnerable to reliving past experiences. Therefore, it will be helpful for you to be able to recognize triggers and your reactions to them in order to change these conditioned responses.

Recognizing Triggers

It may be hard to recognize when you are triggered unless you have an extreme reaction. But it does help to recognize some possibilities that you might be triggered:

Your reaction to a situation seems more intense than is warranted, or it is significantly different than your usual reactions.

You are not able to step back and reflect in the situation, but feel stuck in your reaction.

Inner parts of you become activated to the degree that you are aware of them

You have a defense reaction, that is, flight, fight, freeze, or collapse.

You seem to watch your reaction unfold, not feeling in control of it, as though another part of you is having the reaction.

 You switch to another part of yourself and lose time.

You have a sudden flashback; these are almost always triggered by something in the present.

Sometimes you may be able to recognize the link between a trigger and the original traumatizing event. For example, a person might be aware that the smell of gasoline evokes fear and panic because of a traumatic past experience involving gasoline. 

However, at other times, you may not be aware of what has triggered you. Perhaps you have no memory of the event and thus cannot make a connection with a trigger. Or even if you know about it, you may not be (very) aware of the part of yourself that has become triggered, or you may simply not understand the link between them.

As we have noted, the parts of you that function in daily life are adept at avoiding parts stuck in trauma-time, as well as the traumatic memories that they hold, so you may find yourself not wanting to know why you are triggered. Unfortunately, this avoidance has serious disadvantages. When you cannot understand and accept your inner experiences, they become confusing and frightening, seemingly arbitrary and out of control. This only increases your fear of inner experiences and you then make your life ever smaller to avoid dealing with yourself (see chapter 5 on the phobia of inner experience). Therefore, you need to learn to reflect on triggers and the reactions they evoke in you and other parts of yourself.

Although it may sometimes seem as though “all of life” is a trigger, it can be of great help to distinguish specific triggers. Then you can notice that not all situations are equally disturbing to you and that you have already learned to cope successfully with certain triggers.

You may be puzzled by the fact that you can be triggered at one time by a stimulus, but not at another time. Your vulnerability to triggers is determined to a large degree by your physical and mental condition in the moment. If you are more tired or spacey, sick or seriously stressed, or faced with new challenges or problems that seem overwhelming, you are more likely to be triggered. If parts of you are in inner chaos and conflict, you are very prone to becoming triggered more easily. And as you work on particular aspects of your history, the triggers related to that time may be more active for a while. 

Triggers can involve an infinite variety of experiences or objects, depending on what has become associated with a particular traumatic episode. Although it is important to recognize triggers, you do not necessarily need to know at this point in time the history related to the trigger in order to cope differently. In the early stages of treatment you may not yet be ready to deal with painful memories to which they are related.

For example, if you feel panic in crowded stores, regardless of whether you know why, you can begin to help yourself with practical solutions. Perhaps you might choose to shop during times when stores are less crowded. You might make a list before you go, so that you minimize time in the store. You can help parts of you remain in an inner safe place while you shop. You might take your partner or a friend with you. We will discuss strategies such as these to cope with triggers in the following chapter, but your first task is to be able to recognize that you have become triggered and to notice your conditioned reactions, that is, your thoughts, feelings, impulses, sensations, movements, and so forth. To that end, we describe various types of triggers, which may help you become more aware of your own.

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EXERCISE: LEARNING TO BE PRESENT

Sight:

Notice three objects that you see in the room and pay close attention to their details (shape, color, texture, size, etc.). 

Make sure you do not hurry through this part of the exercise.

Let your eyes linger over each object. 

Name three characteristics of the object out loud to yourself, for example, “It is blue. It is big. It is round.”

Sound:

Notice three sounds that you hear in the present (inside or outside of the room). 

Listen to their quality. 

Are they loud or soft, constant or intermittent, pleasant or unpleasant? 

Again, name three characteristics of the sound out loud to yourself, for example, “It is loud, grating, and definitely unpleasant.”

Touch:

Now touch three objects close to you.

Describe out loud to yourself how they feel, for example, rough, smooth, cold, warm, hard or soft, and so forth.

Repeat:

Return to the three objects that you have chosen to observe with your eyes.  

As you notice them, concentrate on the fact that you are here and now with these objects in the present, in this room. 

Next, notice the sounds and concentrate on the fact that you are here in this room with those sounds. 

Finally, do the same with the objects you have touched. 

You can expand this exercise by repeating it several times, three items for each sense, then two for each, then one, and then build it up again to three.

You can also add new items to keep your practice fresh.

Example:

Sight: 

Look around the room for something (or even someone) that can help remind you that you are in the present, for example, a piece of clothing you are wearing that you like, a particular color or shape or texture, a picture on the wall, a small object, a book. 

Name the object to yourself out loud.

Sound: 

Use the sounds around you to help you really focus on the here and now. For example, listen to the normal everyday noises around you: the heat or air conditioning or refrigerator running, people talking, doors opening or closing, traffic sounds, birds singing, a fan blowing. 

You can remind yourself: “These are the sounds of normal life all around me. I am safe. I am here.”

Taste: 

Carry a small item of food with you that has a pleasant but intense taste, for example, lozenges, mints, hard candy or gum, a piece of fruit such as an orange or banana. 

If you feel ungrounded, pop it into your mouth and focus on the flavor and the feel of it in your mouth to help you be more here and now.

Smell: 

Carry something small with you that has a pleasant smell, for example, a favorite hand lotion, perfume, aftershave, or an aromatic fruit such as an orange. 

When you start to feel spacey or otherwise not very present, a pleasant smell is a powerful reminder of the present.

Touch: 

Try one or more of the following touch exercises that feels good to you. Touch the chair or sofa on which you are sitting, or your clothes. Feel them with your fingers and be very aware of the textures and weight of the fabric. 

Try pushing on the floor with your feet, so that you can really feel the floor supporting you. 

Squeeze your hands together and let the pressure and warmth remind you that you are here and now. 

Press your tongue hard to the roof of your mouth. 

Cross your arms over your chest with your fingertips on your collar bones and pat your chest, alternating left and right, reminding yourself that you are in the present and safe (the butterfly hug, Artigas & Jarero, 2005).

Breathing: 

The way in which we breathe is crucial in helping us to be present. When people dissociate or space out, they are usually breathing very shallowly and rapidly or hold their breath too long. 

Take time to slow and regulate your breathing. Breathe in through your nose to a slow count of three, hold to the count of three, and then breathe out through your mouth to a slow count of three. 

Do this several times

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Parts of the Personality That Hold Traumatizing Experiences

There are several typical types of parts of the personality that are stuck in trauma-time. These parts are representations of common conflicts and experiences that tend to be difficult to integrate.  Please note that the following descriptions are general and that the examples that are given may not fit for you. It is important that you accept your own inner experience as it is and not try to make it fit any descriptions in this manual.

Helper parts: 

Some people with a dissociative disorder, but certainly not all, have “helper” parts in their inner world that take care of the well-being of other parts, an inner form of regulation that can be a resource and basis for learning further self-soothing skills. Sometimes helping parts are modeled on a kind person from the past or on an appealing character from a book or movie or television. These parts are the traumatized child’s attempt to soothe and comfort himself or herself. For some people, the major part of the personality who functions in daily life can learn to be quite empathic and helpful for inner parts as well.

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Parts of the Personality That Hold Traumatizing Experiences

There are several typical types of parts of the personality that are stuck in trauma-time. These parts are representations of common conflicts and experiences that tend to be difficult to integrate.  Please note that the following descriptions are general and that the examples that are given may not fit for you. It is important that you accept your own inner experience as it is and not try to make it fit any descriptions in this manual.

Ashamed parts:

Shame is a major emotion that maintains dissociation (see chapter 24 on shame). Some parts of the personality are especially avoided and reviled because they hold experiences, feelings, or behaviors that you, or some parts of you, have labeled as shameful or disgusting. You will need to be especially empathic and accepting toward these parts of yourself.