cothrek

[cothrek]

Everyone sees what you appear to be, few experience what you really are.

Alibi

[cothrek]

Kill Me

Tfw your doctors are refusing your medication so you slowly slip deeper and deeper into your depression and schizophrenia and the only thing making you cling to your fucked up existence is one friend and some fucking memes. Oh and don’t forget the drugs you’re smoking now so you can actually sleep at night and find enjoyment in something for more than 10 minutes.

[cothrek]

Unforunate Cynics Pt.6

WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO its been way too long boys, here you go.

Chapter 11

“Okay, with Net and Hailey out of comission for this day of the festival, I’m acting guildmaster.” Zac announced. The gathered members groaned in unison. “Shut up, I’ll be great! Today’s event is the two-v-two duels between guildmates. This is our chance to show Net that we can hold our own.”

“So are the pairings predetermined, or are they chosen at random?” Kara piped up from a nearby booth.

“The teams will be decided right now. The announcer came to each guild this morning and told the guildmasters all the conditions and rules, which he will go over again for the audience. I will be deciding teams based on who I think will work best together. I think an obvious, but unfortunate choice, is Rick and I. Our pairings will be Kara and Dalton, Emily and Ryan, Derek and Cory, and Hannah and Quin.”

After the decisions were made, the guild traveled to the arena in the town center.

“Zac, isn’t this going to suck for you? It’s so bright in here.” Rick pointed to the skylights set into the ceiling. “I get you can sit in here, like yesterday, but how are you gonna fight?”

“Normally yes, but that’s why I have you. You can create storm clouds that will darken the place to make me feel right at home.” Zac tugged his hood low.

The kids crowded into the town hall, straight up to the arena, and stood together. The booths had been taken down. The floor was still stained with the blood of the defeated. A ragtag team of Mane kids sauntered over.

“Now you’re missing your leader just like us.” A boy in a fur vest leaned against the arena wall. His companions jeered. “What’ll you do, Edgelord?”

Zac formed a dagger and picked at his teeth. “Well, our guild master may not be present, but at least he ain’t dead.”

The boy snarled. “Listen. Your leader’s a damn cheater. Only anthromorphs are proper shapeshifters.”

Zac bellowed a laugh. “Fuck you.” He released his dagger and strolled away, presenting his middle finger behind him. His guildmates followed, ignoring the threats of the Mane children.

Soon the announcer began calling out the names in the line-up and the schedule of the tournament. He reviewed the rules for the audience.

“The tournament will include guild members only, in two versus two battles. The pairs have been determined by each guild leader. Aid from team members outside of the arena will result in immediate disqualification. Deadly force is entirely prohibited. A battle resulting in the death of an opponent will see the killer permanently banished. The use of a specialty against an opponent will result in immediate disqualification. Victors will move on through the tournament until a winning team is established. This team will be awarded a request from the governor that he deems reasonable.”

Rick nudged Zac’s arm. “What’re you gonna do now? If you can’t use Eternal whatsit on our opponents, how are we gonna win?”

Zac rolled his eyes and snickered. “Listen. I may not be able to put these goons to sleep, but I can still use it on you.”

“Wait, what?” Rick’s eyes widened. “But-”

“Well think about, doofus.” Zac clasped Rick’s shoulder and smiled. “You can use your powers to full effect when you’re asleep. I can use my powers to full effect when it’s dark. So make a fucking rainstorm, you idiot.”

Rick glared in return. “Fine, I get it, damn.”

Zac folded his arms on the arena wall. “Now we wait.”

*****

“Finally! We’re next!” Zac dragged Rick to the podium. “Let’s beat up some nerds.” Their opponents were two wiry boys from the Mane Guild.

“Damn, it’s not him.” Zac huffed and stepped into the arena. He readied a dagger and whispered, “Eternal Slumber.” He turned to Rick. “So here’s the plan.” He plunged the knife into Rick’s chest and let his teammate fall to the ground.

“What the hell?” The opposing team exchanged a quizzical glance. The taller of the two shrugged and shifted into a leopard. Thunder rolled overhead and darkened the arena.

Zac smiled and faded into the shadows. “Time for some fun.”

The leopard circled the arena, waiting for Zac to make a move. It came from behind him, a slice at his side, he reacted in time to avoid the worst of the damage. A shallow cut appeared in his hide, bleeding superficially. The big cat snarled and swiped at the air, connecting with nothing. The storm clouds looming over the arena began to drizzle.

The smaller boy backed against the wall, trembling. “I told you I didn’t want to fight in this thing in the first place. How am I supposed to fight someone I can’t even see?”

Zac appeared in front of him without warning and grabbed him by his collar. “You don’t.” He lifted the boy and slung him over the wall, out of bounds. “One down.” Zac turned sharply to face his remaining opponent. “One to go.” He took a step towards the leopard and disappeared into the shadows once more.

The Mane boy stood silently, sniffing the air. He growled softly, ears twitching.

Zac’s laughter pierced the air. “You won’t be able to smell me, boy. But you can try all you want.” He re-appeared at the cat’s flank, brandishing a dagger.

The cat lashed out, slashing a vicious wound across Zac’s stomach. Zac stumbled back, barely nicking his enemy. He clutched his torn hoodie against his injury to stave the bleeding. “Bad kitty.” The leopard snarled and slashed again. Lightning crackled between Zac and his opponent, scorching the ground. Both leapt back, glancing towards the darkening clouds overhead. Zac smirked and retreated to the shadows once more, getting stronger as the clouds grew darker. Lightning struck the arena frequently now, singeing the leopard’s fur a few times.

Suddenly Zac unleashed a volley of slashes at the leopard, cutting him multiple times. The boy shifted forms, becoming a timber wolf. He slowly backed himself against the wall of the arena, snarling a challenge. Zac accepted, appearing in front of the wolf, brandishing a short sword. He swung, hacking off one of the wolf’s ears and nicking the other. He planted his boot on the animal’s neck and leaned in. “Yield, or I’ll take your paws.”

The boy returned to his human form, clutching the side of his head. “I surrender.”

Zac tossed his weapon into the air and watched it dissolve. “Great.” He held a hand against his stomach, wincing. “About time.” He strolled over to Rick and yanked the dagger out of his chest.

Rick sat bolt upright with a gasp. “Why the hell are you-” He glanced around and shook his head. “It’s over?”

Zac pulled him out of the arena. “Not yet.” He glared at the Mane Guild’s group across the arena. “We’re taking them down for good before this is over.”

*****

The second Guild Clash didn’t last as long. Many teams were forced to surrender or did so willingly. Either way, Zac and Rick faced their final opponents.

Zac shook Rick by the arm. “It’s him.” He glared at the Mane Guild boy across the arena from him. “He’s the one who accused us of cheating.”

Rick nodded, fists clenched. “Let’s take him down.”

*****

Zac and Rick were carried home by their guild mates amidst cheers. Once the festival was over, they would be free to claim their reward from the governor. The conquering heroes were set on their feet in front of the guild hall.

Kara pulled Zac aside. “You did it.” She shuffled her feet and tucked a wisp of hair behind her ear. “Congratulations.”

Zac glanced towards the door. “Thanks...I have to tell Net.” He unlocked the door and stepped inside, where he was greeted by Nick. The dog woofed and bounded alongside him as he made his way up the stairs while the others poured in. Zac paused outside Hailey’s door and knocked gently. “May I come in?”

Hailey’s soft voice reached his ears. “You may.”

He slowly opened the door, which revealed the same scene he had left that morning. Net remained hunched over the bed, his head resting against his folded arms, sound asleep. Hailey lay propped up against a small mountain of pillows.

She lifted her hand from its resting place on Net’s shoulder and tucked it under the covers. “Can I help you, Zac?”

Zac pretended not to notice her movement. “I just wanted to say...We did it. We won the second Guild Clash and we beat the Mane Guild. They won’t be bothering you any more.” He scuffed the toe of his boot along the floor. “Not that I...did it for you. I just wanted to let you know.” He hurried out of the room and returned downstairs with Nick in tow.

Chapter 12

The last day of the festival was reserved for award ceremonies and clean up work. Zac receive d the Town Partisan certificate in Net’s absence, who remained indisposed due to his injuries. The governor reminded Zac that he was owed a favor, within reason.

“Hmm.” Zac crossed his arms and grinned. “I want you to have a statue built.”

The governor sighed. “I see. Of yourself?”

“No. I want a statue of the greatest guild master in the town, right in the middle of the city.” Zac nodded gravely. “I’m his number one man.”

“That’s...interesting.” The governor shrugged. “Very well. I suppose there are worse things to ask for. He’s the Town Partisan, after all.”

*****

“A toast.” Net raised his mug gingerly to avoid ripping the bandages. “To Zac for not making a fucking disgrace of himself.”

Zac raised his mug in reply. “Now listen…..I’ll take it.”

Net downed his fifth toast. “Anyway. On to more important matters.” He lifted another mug. “Derek. Emily. There’s a task for you.” He gulped down another drink. “I’m not going to explain it, go find out.”

“Oh...umm ok.” Emily took Derek and walked over to the request board. There were not many requests, since the guild was so new, but one did stand out to her.

“Hey, didn’t the announcer say that Net’s responsibilities include border control?” Emily turned to Derek. “This request just says it’s from ‘The Town.’ That must be what this is.” She grabbed the request from the board and skipped towards Net. “Is this the one?” She showed the paper to Net.

He turned towards her and nodded drunkenly. “Sure yeah, whatever.” His voice trailed off into his mug. Nick rattled down the stairs and barked at Net, who patted his ears distractedly.

Derek glanced at Emily and shrugged. “Let’s go, I guess.”

“But where? It doesn’t even say. Should we ask the governor?” Emily frowned.

Zac slung his arms around each of their shoulders. “Liiiisten.” He hiccupped. “I know all the things, guys. Lemme tell ya something.”

Derek cupped a hand over his nose. “I thought Hailey told you not to drink more than one.”

“Hailey-” Zac paused to pull his arm from Emily’s shoulder. “Hailey.” He placed his hand on Derek’s chest. “Hailey isn’t here.” Another hiccup bubbled through his chest.

“Riiiight.” Derek patted Zac’s arm. “Maybe you should take a break.”

“A break?!” Zac swung his arm straight into Emily’s face. “Sorry, baby.” He turned his attention back to Derek. “Now listen...Lemme just...show you.” He formed a pebble of darkness in his palm. “Listen. Lookit- look at this thing.”  He swirled it around his fingers, suppressing another hiccup. “I call this….aaaa….Black hole!”

Derek blinked, brow furrowed. Realization dawned on him suddenly. “Wait, n-no, don’t!”

Zac threw the orb into the middle of the room. Furniture and dishes went flying after it. Several guild members were pulled flat on their faces. Net’s mug slipped off the table. The effects of the skill waned immediately.

Emily took a step back. “I’m gonna...go.” Derek followed her and darted out the door.

Net’s stare slowly fixed on Zac. “Did you just...steal my drink?”

Zac plopped down in the seat across from him. “Listen. Ssso what if-” He hiccupped. “I mean…” He looked down and his eyes widened. “Oh Gods...what if I did?”

Net stared silently. “You owe me another drink.”

“Listen. I don’t take orders from aanyone. Even you!” Zac pointed in Net’s face, his finger wavering. “Either of you!”

“I gave you a chance.” Net grabbed Zac’s arm and yanked him out of the booth. He stomped to the front door, kicked it open, and launched him into the street fountain. “If you dare come in between me and my addictions again, I’m gonna kick you out of the fucking guild.” He slammed the door shut.

*****

Derek watched Zac fly through the air and land in the fountain. “Yeah, I knew that wasn’t gonna turn out well.” He turned to Emily. “Let’s see if we can get a map from the governor’s officials.”

Emily shrugged. “Sounds like a plan.” The pair headed for the town hall and finagled a map from the governor’s secretary. Emily spread the map out in view of the golem on her shoulder. “So we’re supposed to patrol here to here this week, apparently.” She traced a red line marked clearly on the border, which seemed to follow the river.

Derek rubbed his chin. “So...west?”

“No...North.” Emily shook her head and rolled up the map.

“Heh. Right.” Derek nodded wisely and started off out towards the edge of town.

Emily snickered. “That’s south.”

Derek turned around and marched off.

*****

Night began to fall as they reached the river. Derek, wanting to do at least one useful thing today, lit a small flame to shed some light on the path.

Emily grinned. “So you’re bright after all.”

Derek chuckled. “Not especially.”  He raised his light high, peering across the river.

“It’s one heck of a river, huh?”

Derek nodded. “Border patrols must be pretty easy. No wonder Net sent me out on one.” He strolled down the river bank, following the well-trodden path. “It may be all night, but hopefully it’s uneventful.”

Emily matched his footprints in the mud, taking long strides. “Uneventful...You mean boring?”

“Definitely. I’ll take boring over dangerous any day.”

“You literally play with fire for a living.”

“Fair point, but I prefer the devil I know.” Derek continued to walk alongside the river bank. A flicker of movement caught his eye from across the river. “Did you see that?” He raised his light higher and squinted over the water.

Emily lifted the sentry golem off her shoulder and held it out like a lantern. “No, I didn’t see anything.”

Derek pushed his flame through the air, letting it hover at the center of the river. It shed a dim light on both banks, illuminating a group of three people on the other side. Derek nodded respectfully to them and nudged Emily’s arm. “There’s no need to start a fight, they’re just patrolling too.”

Emily placed her palms together and bowed slightly. The group bowed in return and disappeared downstream into the darkness. Derek retrieved his flame and they continued their patrol.

*****

The first rays of sunshine touched the horizon as Derek turned the key and pushed open the guild door. “Oh...Gods.”

Zac lay amidst a pile of mugs, snoring like a wild boar. Net sat still in the same booth, his table littered with empty mugs. He glanced up at Derek, eyelids heavy. “Patrol go well?” He sipped slowly.

Emily unlatched a window. “It was pretty uneventful. We ran into a neighboring patrol, but they stayed on their side of the river.” She knelt by Zac and gathered an armful of mugs to take to the kitchen. “I’m glad you guys had so much fun without us.”

Derek pulled Zac upright and shouldered his weight. “I’m not envious of the headache he’ll have.” He lugged his guildmate upstairs, passing Hailey on her way down.

Hailey stepped gingerly to Net’s table, wavering on her feet. “Net….please don’t tell me you had a drinking contest with a child.” She brushed her long hair behind her shoulder and tugged her jacket closed over the neckline of her nightgown.

Net grinned and raised his mug. “Okay, I won’t tell you.”

Hailey placed her hand over the rim of his mug and gently pushed it back to the tabletop. “Come on. Let’s get you to bed.” She took his hand and pulled him out of the booth.

“Depends on whose bed it is.” Net watched her red hair sway as she led him to the staircase.

“You’re drunk.”

[cothrek]

Unfortunate Cynics Pt. 5

Chapter 9

“Everyone gather ‘round! I have news!” Net motioned everyone to sit. The guild members gathered in the main room of the Guild Hall, seating themselves in various stools and booths. “It’s time for this town’s annual guild festival. The festival helps show off smaller guilds in the town, and lets the various members showcase their strengths.”

Zac jumped to his feet. “If this is an all outdoor festival, there’s no chance in hell I’m going.”

Net fixed his gaze on Zac. “Why must you always interrupt me? Each guild will have an area to themselves in the town hall. There is also an outdoor fair.”

Kara raised her hand timidly. “So...we’re there to show off our skills?”

Net nodded. “That’s the jist. Our guild is small, so all of our members will participate.”

Hailey gathered up empty mugs. “Yeah, about that...There’s no way I’m setting up a fortune telling booth, so you can forget it. I’m staying here.”

Net crossed his arms. “I said all of our members will participate.”

“You can deal with one less. I have things to do, and besides, Nick doesn’t like crowds any more than I do.” Hailey set the tray of mugs on the counter firmly. “I’m not even interesting, no one will care.”

“This isn’t about whether or not the crowds are going to enjoy fortune telling, it’s about the guild.” Net stomped over to her.

Hailey picked up her tray. “I won’t discuss this further in front of everyone.” She retreated into the kitchen.

Net glanced around the room. The members quickly looked away and began conversing amongst themselves. He rounded the bar and pushed open the kitchen door. “So...What’s this really about?” He latched the door firmly behind him.

Hailey turned away, her long braid swinging. “I didn’t think you’d actually follow me.” She emptied the tray of mugs into the deep kitchen sink. “Is it really all that important that everyone goes?”

“If you think I’m just going to let this slide by dodging the question...I’ll wait.” He leaned against the countertop and folded his arms.

“It’s not a big deal, I just hate crowds. Too many possibilities, I can’t see.” She scrubbed a dirty mug vigorously.

“Hailey.”

She set the mug down. “Is that so hard to believe?”

“I’ve known you long enough to know when you’re lying to me.” Net stepped closer. “Or at least bending the truth to make it fit your reasons.”

Hailey scrubbed her hands dry on her apron. “...There are some guilds in town that I don’t need to run into.”

“Are there some heads I need to bash in?”

A light smile spread across her lips. “Well, let’s just say there’s really no reason to put myself in their path when they’re all gathered together.” She tugged her gloves on and patted his arm. “I’ll just stay here with Nick and get dinner ready for when you all come home.”

Net clasped his hand over hers. “Alright...Make sure you bar the doors. You never know what sort of unsavory characters will go prowling around when no one’s at home.”

Hailey nodded. “Of course. I’ll be careful.” She squeezed his arm lightly and pulled away.

*****

The scent of fried food and carnival fare wafted around the town square. Hundreds of people bustled amongst each other, chattering about the things they were going to buy, which guild was likely to be crowned Town Partisan, and that one new guild master who wore a bearskin and had a rag-tag band of untrained but dutiful members. The children darted through the crowd, munching on fried cakes and grabbing whatever free trinkets they were offered, showing off their prizes to one another. Women shopped together in select groups, passing the latest gossip. Burly men perused the blacksmith’s latest wares and argued about which new harvesting techniques were the most effective.

Inside the town hall was a different setting entirely. Each guild had a makeshift booth, their own little area, where the members stood showing off their talents. Elements and familiars flew freely through the air, a veritable wonderland had been created in a matter of hours. In the center of the hall a large ring had been erected. It was crowded by townsfolk yelling insults and placing bets. Here, the annual Guild Clash took place. Any guild master could sign up to take part, where they would be pitted against one another tournament style. The winner was crowned Town Partisan, and given preference when requests came in for help around town. The Partisan was paid to send out border patrols and dissuade skirmishes from neighboring countries. Net was first in line.

An announcer stepped up onto a podium and began proclaiming the rules of the debacle, the first face-offs, and the regulations of the prize.

“Any powers used by the opponents that exit the arena, for any reason, will result in immediate disqualification. Aid from a guildmate will result in immediate disqualification. The use of any unauthorized weapons, spells, or familiars will result in immediate disqualification. Deadly force is dissuaded, but by no means prohibited. Defeat will be determined by the ringmaster. Will our first challengers please approach the podium and have your weapons examined?” The announcer stepped down and inspected the two guild masters who approached him. A few minutes later he returned to his place and spread his arms wide. “Let the battle...Begin!”

Hours passed as guild master after guild master was defeated. Net surveyed the carnage calmly, resting his arms on the wall of the arena. He studied each victor as a potential opponent. He could face any one of them. Finally, the announcer called out the next pair.

“From the Quick Silver Guild, Celer! And from the Guild of Unfortunate Cynics, Net!”

Net eyed his opponent as he approached the podium. A slender, well-built man sauntered up to the announcer. Twin daggers tucked into his belt seemed to be his only weapon. Net drew his axes from the sheath on his back and set them on the table with a resounding thud. The announcer grimaced. “I’m afraid weaponry of this scale has been banned by the governor.” He nodded to Celer. “Yours are adequate.”

Net unclasped the sheath from around his chest and laid it on the table as well. “It’s fine. I won’t need them.” He stepped into the arena and turned to face the smaller man.

Celer drew his knives and spread his feet. “You won’t need them because you won’t even be able to see me to hit me.” He crouched low and took off like a shot, raising dust from the arena floor.

Net’s gazed flickered after him. “So...you can run fast. Good for you.”

“I’ll slice you to ribbons!” Celer’s voice bounced around the arena, his figure became a mere blur. He dashed at Net, carving into his flesh with both daggers.

Net paused for a moment, listening to the roar of the crowd. His hand suddenly shot out, catching Celer by the neck. “What was that about not being able to see you?”

The man stabbed viciously at Net’s arm, gurgling furiously.

Net squeezed slowly, then dropped his prey to the ground, unmoving. He paced to the edge of the arena and gazed up at the announcer. “I believe this match is over.”

The announcer nodded to the axes on the table. “You are free to retrieve your belongings, sir.” The crowd parted as Net returned to his spot. Celer was removed from the arena, and the Clash continued throughout the evening. Match after match was determined, until there were only two contestants remaining. Net stepped up to the podium once more, and let his axes sit with a clatter. His opponent sifted through the crowd. She was a tall woman whom Net distinctly knew to be an anthromorph from the Mane Guild, comprised entirely from members of a race of shapeshifters. She bore no weapons, and wore very little to avoid hampering with her shapeshifting. Net tugged the hood of his bearskin low over his brow and stepped into the arena for the last time.

The woman followed him and stopped a few steps away. She swiveled her hips. “Surely you don’t intend to attack a lady?”

Net set his feet. “You can attack first if you’d like.” He raised his arms and gestured for her to come at him.

She snarled in a rather unladylike manner and melted into the form of a cougar. She pounced at him, claws extended, swiping at his face. Net swiped in return, sending her careening into the wall of the arena.

“You know, for a cougar, you’re rather tame, aren’t you?” Net returned to his defensive position and waited.

The big cat screeched and leapt again, morphing mid-air into the form of an alligator. It latched onto the man’s arm with a crunch. Net set his hand over the reptile’s nostrils. “You might want to let go.” A red mist began to spread through his eyes.

Several moments later, the woman morphed back to her original form, gasping for breath. “Alright, then. Dragons may be prohibited, but this isn’t!” Her shape stretched high and became bulky and shaggy. Within seconds, an eight foot brown bear stood roaring in front of him.

Net chuckled. “I was hoping it would come to this.” His eyes shot blood red. He tugged the bearskin hood further over his face and began to shudder violently. His body began to morph, the cloak he wore stretched with his form and soon covered him from head to toe. Moments later, two huge, angry bears towered over the crowd, growling bloodthirsty threats at one another. The she-bear lunged and sank her teeth into his shoulder, attempting to wrestle him to the ground. The larger male lashed out with both claw-studded paws. Fur flew and blood splattered on the arena floor. They tussled furiously until the crowd could no longer discern which one was which. The jaws of one bear found the throat of the other with a sickening grind. Blood poured to the ground until the victim ceased its struggling. The victor dropped the defeated enemy and lowered itself to all fours, panting, a crimson stream dripping from its tongue.

The announcer leaned over the podium and squinted at the two figures. “Um...If you could re-identify yourselves…?”

The bloodshot eyes of the victor turned towards the crowd. The bear returned to its hind legs and shrank, revealing Net, a little battered and unsteady on his feet, but determined to remain standing nonetheless. He spat viciously out of his bloodstained mouth and brushed loose fur from his wounded shoulder. He stepped over the bleeding corpse of his opponent and strapped his axes in place. He ignored the announcer’s proclamation and headed for his designated guild area. The crowd gave him a wide berth.

*****

Net stomped up to the booth where the Unfortunate Cynics were gathered. He didn’t bother to explain his appearance.

Kara stared, her jaw dropping. “Hailey’s gonna have a fit when she sees...uh...hears what happened.”

Net turned his bloodshot gaze towards her. “Well, we’ll just have to make sure she doesn’t find out, now won’t we?”

Zac tugged Kara’s arm, also staring at Net’s discolored eyes. “Let’s not bother him.”

Net slid his hood down to cover his eyes. “Let’s just say I got in a fight with a bear and won.”

Rick chuckled nervously. “Sure looks that way.”  

Derek threw his fire down onto the cobblestone floor. “Can we please go out and see the fair now? I’m sick of juggling sanction-sized fireballs for the crowd.”

Net took a seat. “Go enjoy yourselves. I’m expecting a visitor, so run along.” The younger members took off, ready to gorge themselves on greasy fair food and spend their savings on cheap trinkets. The guild master sat alone in silence, watching the crowd mull by. He examined the deep wound that wrapped around his shoulder. “Maybe it’s best she didn’t come.”

*****

As night fell, the governor took his place on the stage at the center of the town square. Several minutes of formalities and a boring speech ensued. He blustered about how hard it was to put together a festival like this and outdo himself every year, but how much it was worth it every time. The younger members of the audience yawned and set out to see the last of the fair. The governor addressed the crowd, commending them for the year’s harvest and all their hard work. He thanked the guilds that kept the town safe and reminded the audience that once again, the Guild Clash had crowned the winner Town Partisan. After vigorously battling for the title, here he was, on top of them all, the victor. He awarded the title and shook the man’s hand, then presented him to the crowd to cheers and applause. Net gave a small bow and quickly left the stage to round up his motley crew and return home.

*****

Net paused at the door, key in hand. Something was dreadfully wrong. He peered in the front window. The guild was completely dark. Not even the usual warm glow from the kitchen greeted him. He unlocked the door and swung it open slowly. A faint scent hung in the air, all too familiar. Blood. He crept inside and nearly tripped. Tables and chairs were strewn about and glasses lay shattered on the polished wood floor. The building was eerily silent. Zac stumbled in, the first to return.

Net grasped his shoulder and let him take in the scene for a moment. “Shadows. Now.”

Zac’s eyes widened slowly. He nodded and disappeared. “Everyone else is still at the fair.” His voice faded as he distanced himself from the front door.

Net stepped carefully over broken furniture, not making a sound. He made his way to the back door, which he found slung open off its hinges, and the nearby window lying in fragments on the ground.

“Net! Come quick!” Zac’s voice echoed from upstairs, filled with urgency.

Net bounded up the steps and skidded into the hallway. Zac crouched low on the floor, with a candle in hand, leaning over a prone figure. “She’s really badly hurt.” His voice cracked.

Net grabbed Zac’s wrist and brought the candle closer to the floor. Hailey laid unmoving, a puddle of blood drying around her head. Her quarterstaff was broken in two, the pieces rested nearby. Zac pulled her gloves down to reveal her forearm. “I...I think someone broke her staff...on her.” Her skin was patched in black and blue bruises, covering her arms completely. Zac set the candle on the floor.

Net pressed his fingers to her neck and checked her breathing. “Zac...Get a doctor. Now.”

Chapter 10

While the guild members spent the better hours of the night cleaning up the mess downstairs, Net sat upstairs in Hailey’s small room as a doctor fussed over her, checking her pulse and adjusting bandages.

“Do you have any idea what happened?” The doctor pulled a bottle of liquid out of his bag and carefully filled a syringe with the stuff.

Net blinked blearily and shook his head. “We found her like this.” He swiped at his eyes roughly. It must be nearly daybreak.

“I know a man who reads the past of things. He’s helpful in the judicial hearings and such. You might be able to hire him.” The man pressed the syringe into Hailey’s arm and continued caring for her injuries. “And I’ll have a look at you when I’m done with her. She’ll be fine, but it may take a while for her to recover.”

Net stared at the still form resting on the bed. “Do whatever it takes.”

Zac peered around the doorframe. “I can’t find Nick.” He crept into the room. “You said she’d be okay. When’s she gonna wake up?”

The doctor checked her pulse again. “That remains to be seen. She lost a lot of blood. Even so, she will wake up.” He began swabbing a salve over her splotchy arms.

Net sighed heavily. “You mentioned a man who could read the past. How much would it take to hire him?”

The doctor rose and tended to Net’s wounds. “Well, he’s most likely too expensive for a small guild like yourself. That is all I can do for her for now. When she wakes up make sure she stays in bed, and try not to make her eat too heavily.”

Net thanked the doctor but stayed at Hailey’s side. He exhaled loudly as the doctor left. “Zac, fetch me some water. It’s going to be a long day.”

*****

As the sun rose, Net dozed off, still seated at the stool in Hailey’s room. Zac shook him awake and pointed to Hailey. “I think she’s waking up.”

Hailey’s eyelids barely parted. Her voice wavered. “Net. Zac. Where am I?”

Net leaned in closer, whispering. “You’re in your bed, we had a doctor come and fix you up. Do you remember anything from last night?”

Hailey coughed. “There was an intruder.” She struggled for a deeper breath. “I remember hearing the window shatter downstairs and Nick ran out of my room. I grabbed my staff and…” A tear slipped down her cheek. “It happened so fast, I couldn’t see anything.”

“Do you recall anything? Identifying marks, did they say anything? Anything that might help us find who did this?” Net couldn’t keep the worry he felt from slipping into his tone.

Hailey shook her head slightly. “It was dark, I couldn’t ‘see’. And they didn’t talk...Nick was furious. There was a lot of barking and snarling, but I don’t think it all came from him.” She glanced blindly around the room. “Nick. Where is he?” She tried to sit up, but fell back with a cry of pain.

“Nick. Nick’s gone Hailey. Whoever came in took him with them.” Net replied.

Hailey bit her lip. “Gods, this is why I didn’t go to the festival. I thought he’d be safer that way.” Tears ran freely down her cheeks.

Net wiped a tear away. “Is this about the little discussion we had in the kitchen last night? What guilds are out to get you, and why?”

She gestured to Zac ever so slightly. “I’d like this to be a private conversation, please.” Zac frowned, but exited the room, closing the door behind him. Hailey struggled to sit up again. “They’re not after me. They want Nick. He’s not...He’s not what you think.”

“First of all, stay down. Second, explain.”

Hailey let out a frustrated sigh and relaxed against the pillows. “He’s an anthromorph. Like the Mane Guild. They want him to join them. He’s not a dog.” She turned her face away. “He’s my younger brother.”

Net’s eyes flashed red. “So you believe they did this?”

She nodded, her voice barely raised to a whisper. “Probably.” She faced him again. “I’m so sorry I didn’t tell you, I thought they would leave us alone if I stayed out of trouble. That’s why I never go out on requests or leave the hall often.” A new wave of tears slid their way down her cheeks.

Net growled. “You stay here and rest, I’ll see to getting Nick back.”

Hailey grasped his hand. “Please. He’s just a child. He’s probably terrified.”

“Don’t worry. I’ll get him back, safe and sound.” Net rose and walked towards the door.

*****

The Mane Guild dominated the largest building in town. They had been gathering members throughout the country for over a decade. They were notorious bullies, but the governor never banished them because the village hadn’t had a rodent problem since they moved in. Then again, sometimes they were the rodent problem, but besides general noise, they couldn’t be convicted of any crimes, so here they stayed.

They had huge, oaken double doors at the front of the building, which were left conveniently open to allow easy passage, so Net didn’t have to waste any strength breaking those down. He ripped them off their hinges anyway. An assortment of humans and animals stared at him blankly, unsure of what to make of the angry monster who had come barging into the guild hall. They remained lounging about, languidly, unafraid. It was a mistake they would never make again.

“Where is he.” Net’s low growl echoed through the hall.

“ ‘He’ is safe.” A young woman strutted down the steps. She looked familiar. “Can I help you? We have plenty of other doors that I’d like to remain on their hinges, if you don’t mind.”

Net clenched his fists. “I think you know why I’m here.”

“A little pup is hardly worth the trouble.” She crossed the hall to stand in front of him.

“Then why did you steal him in the first place?”

“An eye for an eye, I think the saying goes. Or a tooth for a tooth.” She spat out the words. “Do you forget your victims so quickly?”

Net took a slow, deep breath. “Your guild master willingly put her life on the line in that battle. Voluntary combat doesn’t allow for petty things like revenge.”

The woman hissed through her teeth. “She would have won if you hadn’t cheated. You’re not a proper anthromorph, how dare you change your form like one of us?” She turned and walked behind the bar, spreading her hands on the countertop. “You’ll get what’s coming to you. If your members are anything like that pathetic wench I met last night, you won’t stand a chance in a proper fight.”

“I’ll do as I please, and what I’m about to do is beat the shit out of everyone in here. Or do you intend to stop me, bitch.” Net growled.

The woman crossed her arms. “Have fun with that.” She slid over the bar towards the back door. “I have a pupil to look after.”

Net unsheathed his axes and roared. “WHO’S FIRST?”

*****

The sun began to set on the carnage that once was the Mane Guild Hall. Anthromorphs lay dead, dying, and severely injured, strewn about the grounds. Net stood throttling the woman who first challenged him.

“So, would you like to tell me where he is now?” The red mist in his eyes began to wane. “Or would you like to join your comrades? And please, lie to me. I really want you to lie to me.”

A whine squeezed out of her throat. “He’s in the cellar. Please.”

“If he’s not in that cellar, me and you are going to have a little ‘fun’.”

She scrabbled at his hand. “He’s there, he can’t go anywhere. He has to be there.”

Net let her fall to the floor. “Don’t go anywhere.” He searched the grounds until he found the cellar doors. A fierce growl greeted him from the darkness, then a pause filled with snuffling sounds. A happy bark echoed through the cellar. Net found Nick chained to the wall, unharmed, bouncing and wagging. He grasped the chain and ripped the links apart. Nick jumped and licked Net’s cheek, tail wagging furiously.

“Calm yourself.” Net took the dog in his arms and carried him up into the guild hall. He set him down in front of the woman, who still lay gasping for breath on the floor. “I’m afraid he doesn’t appear to be in the cellar.”

“What? But he was, I didn’t lie to you!” She slid away from him. “Please…”

Net’s axe bit into the wood next to her head and he leaned in, almost touching her face, “If you ever, ever touch one of my members again this axe is going into your skull next, understood?”

She nodded furiously, eyes squeezed shut. “I understand!”

Net grinned. “Good.” He ruffled Nick’s ears. “Let’s go home.” Nick leapt at the sobbing woman and barked in her face, then trotted out the door with Net.

*****

Net pushed open the front door and Nick bounded in in front of him, barking. Zac dropped the broom he had been attempting to use.

“You found him!” He stretched out his arms to hug Nick, who zipped past him and clattered up the stairs. Zac pouted. “Fine.” He turned his attention to Net. “You’re a fucking mess.”

“Thanks.” Net muttered as he pulled himself up the stairs. He pushed open Hailey’s door. Nick sat with his head resting on her sheets, whining softly.

Hailey patted his ears gently and smiled. “Thank you.”

Net collapsed into the chair next to her bed. “I think you have some explaining to do, but...for now, that’ll do.”

She nodded. “I know. I’ll tell you everything later.” She felt a weight on the side of her bed. Hailey reached out and rested her hand on Net’s head as he dozed.

[cothrek]

Unfortunate Cynics Pt. 4

Chapter 7

Zac sat at the bar, pouring over a letter. He crumpled it angrily. “That won’t do.” Suddenly, he was lifted from his seat by his collar and placed on his feet.

“Let’s go!” Net’s voice rumbled jovially. He tossed a knapsack into the boy’s arms.

Zac stared at him. “I am not going anywhere with you.” He dropped the bag on the nearest stool.

Net laughed, continuing towards the doorway. “Again, I wasn’t asking.”

Zac growled. “But it’s midday. I’m not going outside.” His words fell on deaf ears. He let out an exasperated sigh and snatched up the bag Net left for him, then stomped out the front door after his guild master.

Net trekked tirelessly until nightfall, unfaltering, with Zac slogging behind. As darkness enclosed, his pace picked up and his demeanor brightened considerably. Soon he was back to his usual self.

“So where’re we going? What’s this thing we’re doing? Am I getting paid? Do I get to kill something?” Zac tightened his grip on the darkness around him, forming a blade. “I’m totally ready to slit something’s throat.”

Net groaned loudly. “You’re really talkative now that the sun’s set.”

Zac shrugged and released his weapon. “What can I say? My soul rises with the moon.”

Net groaned louder. “Gods, you’re such a child. We are going to capture some bandits that attacked a caravan recently. We aren’t going to kill anything.” Net paused. “Probably. They’re worth more alive than dead, so hopefully they’ll come quietly.”

“Damn, I wanted to eviscerate something.” Zac kicked a rock off the path. “Can I at least cut some limbs off?”

“The request didn’t say anything about them being intact, just breathing.”

Suddenly, a light blinked to life deep within the forest. Net dragged Zac off the path and shoved him behind a bush. “You stay here, I’ll take care of this.”

Zac snickered.  “Watch this.” His body dematerialized, fading into the shadows.

“Recon?” Net stared at the spot where Zac disappeared.

“I’ll explain later.” Zac’s voice echoed through the darkness.

Net sat silently in the foliage for several minutes. “This is mind-numbingly boring.” He rose to his feet, about to charge the camp when Zac suddenly reappeared, seemingly from nowhere.

“Are you ready to slice and dice?” Zac asked with a grin.

Net grinned. “Always.” He brandished two hand-axes, if you could call them that. They looked more like battle axes to Zac.

As the two moved closer to the caravan through the underbrush, Zac explained to Net what he had seen.

“There are five bandits in total, one on each side of the wagon, and one on the horse pulling it. He looks like the leader of the group.”

Net nodded. “We should take him out first.”

“I could take out the horse by throwing a dagger from up there.” Zac pointed to a rise in the terrain. “Then you could just barge in. I know you like to get stuff done.”

Net chuckled. “True. I can knock a few heads.”

Zac crouched and sneaked up to the rise overlooking the path where the bandits would appear. He created another dagger from the shadows and looked back at Net. “Ready?”

Net just nodded and got into a running position, readying his weapons.

The group plodded into view, following the path diligently. Zac zoned in on the leader, pulled back his arm, and launched one of his daggers straight at the horse’s neck, killing it instantly. Net rushed in after the dagger, roaring.

Chaos descended, the bandits scattered in Net’s enraged path. Zac skidded down the hill, leapt over the horse’s corpse, and rushed the leader, who was fumbling for his weapon.

Zac infused his second dagger with void energy. “Eternal Slumber!” He sunk the knife deep into the man’s chest and stepped back as his target collapsed. “I did it!” He spun around to face Net, who was standing in a clearing littered with the bandits’ unconscious bodies. Zac glared and plopped down by his single victory. “Show off.”

Net began gathering up their spoils. “Nice.”

Zac leapt back to his feet. “It’s my specialty, I could even put you to sleep indefinitely!”

“I’d like to see you try.”

******

Net raised his mug high. “Congratulations, Zac. You didn’t disappoint.”

Zac shrugged, smirking. “Well, of course. What did you expect from a pro like me?”

` Net smacked him upside the head. “That cockiness will get you killed one day.” He dropped a coin sack in front of Zac.

Kara’s laughter floated across the room. Zac glanced her way and scooped up his pay. “I’ve got things to do.”

Net followed Zac’s gaze. “Uh-huh. Have fun, kid.” He quaffed the rest of his drink and repositioned himself behind the bar, closer to the keg.

Zac sidled up next to Kara where she was talking to Rick. “So, you got any plans today besides talking with this loser?” Rick glowered silently, but didn’t offer any resistance.

Kara frowned. “Definitely, if you talk about everyone like that.”

Zac threw his arm around her shoulder. “Only when it’s true.”

“Well, then, you must not hang out with yourself very often.” Kara brushed his arm away and left the table.

Net laughed loudly from the bar.

Chapter 8

“It used to be human. We trusted it. It trampled our homes and burned down our crops.” The village chief grasped Net’s arm. “You can’t trust it. Don’t be deceived.”

Net pulled away. “Calm down old man. Have a seat.” He settled the elder into a cushioned booth. “Hailey! Would you bring our guest something to drink? Something strong, perhaps.” He sat across from the man, folding his arms across his chest. “Now start from the beginning. This..monster. It used to be one of your villagers?”

The elderly man quaked slightly. “Yes. It is most unfortunate. It lived in our village until--”

Zac hopped over the back of the booth and plopped into the seat next to Net. “Damn, sounds like a job for me! Monsters? In a small village? I can handle this by myself.”

Net clapped a hand over Zac’s face. “Please excuse my pupil. Continue. How would you suggest I go about finding this monster?”

The chief stared at Zac for a moment. “It usually appears at night. You’ll know it when you see it.”

Hailey placed a tray of mugs on their table. “Anything to eat? You’re not just drinking at this time of day, Net.”

Net growled and waved her off. “Don’t mother me, woman.”

She sighed. “Don’t let Zac have any.” She placed the mugs on the table and swept off to the kitchen with the empty tray tucked under her arm.

The chief wrapped his fingers around the mug of warm cider and sipped slowly. “I’ll have rooms prepared for you at the tavern. I hope you’ll be comfortable.” He pulled a map from his coat pocket and spread it across the table. “It’s marked here. It’s a good place, but it is also on the outer rim of town. At one time it had been the center of the city, but..the outskirts have since been destroyed by.. ‘It’.”

Net downed the contents of his mug in a gulp and gathered up the map. “We’ll take care of it.” He dragged Zac out of the booth with him. “Go get your girlfriend. We have a mission.”

Zac stumbled in the direction he was shoved. “She isn’t my girlfriend…”

*****

The tavern was barren, perfectly quiet, and like the rest of the outskirts, almost like a ghost town. Net sat at the table, studying the map for the last time. He lifted his axes from their resting place on the bed and stood, fastening them onto his back. “You know the plan.”

Kara secured her bag and slung it over her shoulder. “Right.”

Zac slid off his bed. “I still think I can handle this thing on my own.”

“Let’s go.” Net unbolted the door and led them out into the night.

*****

As the trio approached the edge of the woods, an unearthly roar split through the night. The ground began to quake rhythmically. Kara clung to the nearest tree just to stay on her feet. Zac stumbled and grabbed onto a branch.

Net planted his feet firmly and crossed his arms, unimpressed. “Looks like we found it.”

"Geez, what the hell is that?!" Zac tightened his grasp on the branch and peered into the forest.

Nearby, the edge of the treeline crumbled under the stony foot of a giant statuesque figure. Its head turned toward the group below and tilted slightly to the side, like a curious child. It took a thundering step closer and took a knee, bringing its mountainous head within inches of Net’s face.

Net nodded slightly. “Good evening, golem. Can I help you?”

The golem groaned unintelligibly and brought its house-sized hand down on the man. Net blocked the attack with both arms, skidding backwards from the force, leaving twin trenches in the ground from his feet. The golem jerked its hand away and inspected the damage. Rocks broke from its arm and fell to the ground.

Net rumbled a low, dark laugh. “You can’t even attack me without harming yourself, can you?” He lowered his arms and glared up at the golem, his eyes tinted red. “And I was hoping you’d be worth my time.”

Zac dashed from the cover of the forest, making a beeline for the golem’s flank. Kara called down pure starlight straight into the creature’s face. As it roared out an ungodly shriek, nearby it was joined by a simultaneous cry of a girl in agony.

“It’s weak!” Zac leapt at the golem, readying a dagger. “Eternal Slumber!” The golem dissolved into the earth the second the dagger made contact, and Zac fell on his face. “Every time! What the hell, Kara!” He scrambled to his feet, fuming.

Kara winced. “It wasn’t my fault! You hit it.” She glanced around for Net. “Where’d he go?”

*****

Net followed the trail of vegetative carnage that the golem had left in its wake until he found another, much smaller golem. It snarled weakly at him and scuttled away into the woods. Net stepped into the forest to find another golem. It wasn’t the only one. He followed a veritable trail of small, frail creatures, all unique from each other, until he emerged in a clearing where a girl lay asleep under the shelter of a fallen tree. A tear-stained scarf was tied around her head, covering her eyes.

Zac and Kara crashed into the clearing, panting heavily. Zac stomped his foot. “There you a-”

Net clapped his hand over Zac’s mouth roughly. “Shut up.” He shoved Zac away and knelt in front of the girl. A pebble smacked him in the forehead, bringing his attention to a tiny golem crouching on the log, standing sentry. Nearby the earth began to morph and stretch upwards. Another golem took form, long and lanky, with a jagged mouth.

"-- you. . . Humans. . . You dare come near?. . . What -- you here?" The golem’s voice rattled and rasped, barely making out anything resembling words.

Net growled. “You attacked us first. I merely defended myself.” His gaze flickered from Zac to the girl sleeping on the ground. Zac crept deeper into the shadows and disappeared. Net crossed his arms. “So why? Why did you attack me? And the village?”

"It's simple, really. . . Humans -- greedy. . . Took me - home. . .-" The golem shook violently and crumbled, melting into the ground like its predecessors. Zac reappeared from the shadows behind the girl and shook her awake. She jolted upright and scrambled back. The small golem jumped from the log to land on her shoulder. She tensed away from Zac and grasped at the scarf over her eyes.

“What do you want?” Her soft voice crept through her fingers.

Net’s eyes narrowed. “What do I want?” He took a step closer. “You’re the one who-”

“Don't come any closer!” She shrieked.

Net stopped in his tracks. “Alright…” He sighed. “You’re a real piece of work. You could use a mentor...How about joining my guild?”

The girl turned away and fumbled to take off her blindfold. She pulled another from her pocket and tied it around her head. The golem on her shoulder shifted to keep the group in view. “...No, I can’t. I’m a monster, why would you even ask that.” She choked on her own words, then took a deep breath.

“Aren’t we all?” Net crouched in front of her. “We’re all different from the rest of them. Why not help us use that power for something productive instead of running rampant? Come with us.”

“I...Really? You mean I can?” The girl’s head turned slowly towards him. A glimmer of a smile spread on her lips. Net offered his hand. “Yes.”

*****

“To Emily, the newest member of the Unfortunate Cynics!” Net cheered and raised a mug high.

“So that’s what we’re called.” Zac mused. Various cheers rose up around the hall, welcoming Emily to the family. Emily shrank into her stool, embarrassed to be the center of attention.

“Thanks, everyone.” She replied with a shy smile.

“Introduce yourself to everyone, tell ‘em your speciality.” Net clapped her on the back.

“U-um well my speciality is Living Earth, I can conjure golems from the ground, like this little guy.” She points to the golem on her shoulder. “The bigger they are the slower they are, but obviously they pack a bigger punch. My flaw is that I can only see through the golems’ eyes.”

“Well don’t conjure one here, you’ll ruin my good floors.” Net laughed.

[cothrek]

Unfortunate Cynics Pt. 3

Third set of chapters here we gooooooooo

Chapter 5

Kara stomped through the moonlit woods, muttering sullenly about her place in the world. “So I can’t control it, why don’t they just freaking teach me better? All they need to do is explain it so I can understand and instead they decide I’m the one who’s the problem!” As she thundered deeper into foliage, darkness overtook the forest floor. She slapped a branch aside and grabbed the last of the fading starlight into her hand, forming it into a makeshift lantern.

“And now I’m lost because I forgot the stupid map and they didn’t let me take any money so I can’t stay in a decent tavern.” Kara kicked a rotten log and slumped against a tree, letting out an aggravated sigh. She suddenly became very aware of the sounds of the night encroaching through the darkness. She straightened against the damp tree trunk and lifted her light high.

An enraged squeal of a boar rang through the woods. The rustling of the surrounding woods grew louder, and the night seemed to come alive. Kara dampened her light to a pebble-sized sphere and crouched against the shelter of the tree. She grasped her knees to stop them from knocking together.

“Maybe...the pig’s just...happy?” Kara winced as the squeal rang again, closer this time. She searched for a nearby tree with low branches. She knelt and started crawling to the closest climbable tree. “There’s no chance of anyone being out for a midnight hunt, huh?” She grumbled to herself and brushed through the shrubs until she found the base of the tree she planned on climbing.

Nearby foliage rustled violently. Kara darted up the tree and clung to the next branch, shoes slipping in her haste. A sharp tusk impaled her calf. She screamed and scrambled higher into the tree, favoring her injury. Suddenly the angry grunting and snuffling was silent. Kara chanced a glance to the ground.

A lanky boy in a hoodie stood inspecting the corpse of the hog. He reached down and yanked an inky black dagger out of the pig’s body. It dissipated in his hand and he looked up at her, revealing his face. “Need a hand?”

Kara gasped softly. “Uh, yeah, thanks.” She avoided staring at the shadowy silhouette of the left half of his face.

He helped her out of the tree and gave her an arm to limp to the nearest town. “You won’t find an apothecary open this time of night. I know a nurse who’ll be awake. Want me to take you to her?”

Kara nodded silently, biting back a whimper of pain. “But I don’t have any money to pay you with.”

The boy shrugged. “Whatever. She’ll be happy to help you regardless. She’s nice like that.” He led her through the streets of town to a clean, warm-looking pub.

Chapter 6

“Now that you’re all here, some by force.” Net glared at Zac and Derek. “I’ve gathered everyone I believe to be of use in this town. Let us begin. I plan to make us a great guild, one with many members and many successful quests.”

Zac’s hand rose. “So, what are the rules of this ‘guild’?”

Net sighed heavily. “Well, I’m sorry the middle of my sentence interrupted the beginning of yours; but the rules are as follows: one, whatever I say goes, unless you think you think you can fight me over it.”   

Zac stared at the ground, cheeks glowing red with embarrassment.  

“Rule two, we must complete at least two quests a week, partly to pay for this hall, and partly to help us prove ourselves as a dedicated guild. This will not only show our dedication but also get our name out there.”

Derek piped up. “How much of the money do we get to keep from the quests?”

Net smirked. “You’ll keep half of the wages from all quests completed, the other half goes to keeping this guild up and running. The same goes for me, I only keep half my wages. Other than that, have fun and don’t shame the guild.” Net clapped his hands together, “Now, time for introductions. I’ll start, I’m Net, your guildmaster. My perk is called Spirit of Rage, the angrier I get the stronger I become, the flaw is that a demon possesses my body, he grants me the strength, but he also gains more control over my body the further along I go.” Net looked at the gathered group of people expectantly.

Hailey emerges from the kitchen carrying a tray of drinks and passes them out. “I’m Hailey, I’m nobody special. If anyone needs help, just ask me.” She smiles and disappears into the kitchen again.

“HAILEY, get out here that’s not a proper introduction.” Net roared. Nick barks at Net, but Hailey doesn’t reappear.

Kara stepped forward slowly. “H-hi, I’m Kara. My power is starlight, I can gather the starlight and store energy to use for various purposes. I don’t have much control over this yet. And my flaw is that I need to gather more energy to use this power often.”

Zac stood up straight. “I’m Zac.” He looked over to Rick who was sleeping on one of the tables. “Let me just show you part of my perk.” Zac walked up to Rick and placed a hand on his shoulder and Rick shook awake. “It’s called Sleeping Shadow, I can put people to sleep or wake them up, I can also do this.” He held out his hand and created a dagger of darkness and threw it at Net. Net put his hand up and caught the dagger between his fingers. “I can make weapons from shadows, but my flaw is that I am weaker during the day so my speciality isn’t as useful, and I can’t ever sleep without horrible nightmares.”

“Who the hell woke me up? Well, whatever we are sharing powers right?” Rick said sleepily. “My name is Rick and my perk is called Brain Power, it allows me to control storms but I must be asleep while doing it, although I don’t have a choice either way. I also can control small electrical bolts when awake but every time I use this power it makes me tired so I can’t use my power too much but I think it’s pretty powerful.” Rick returned to the table he was sleeping on and laid down to sleep again.    

“Well, I guess I’ll go next then, my name is Derek.” He said timidly, “My perk is Natural Fire, meaning I can create fire from thin air.” Derek extended his hand and produced a small flame. “The only issue is that I cannot control it once it spreads.”  

“Oh Haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaiiiiiiiilllllllleyyyyyyyy, come tell these wonderful people about your speciality.” Net called out.

Her voice filtered through the kitchen door. “I’m busy making dinner for all of your wonderful guests, you grouchy bear. If you want them to know so badly, just tell them yourself.”

Net growled, “Fine, her speciality is Clairvoyance. She can see at least ten seconds into the “possible” future, her flaw being that she must be standing still. Also she’s blind, but don’t try anything, she can see the future.”

Zac pet the dog. “I like him.” Nick snuffled Zac’s hand and panted happily.

[cothrek]

Unfortunate Cynics Pt. 2

I’m gonna post this twice a week cause we’re writing this pretty quickly. Here’s Part 2.

Chapter 3

Rick’s eyes opened lazily and a sigh escaped his lips. Dusk is a good a time as any to socialize. “It’s not even morning. Of all the times to... Well, I might as well outwit some pub vagrants.” He stumbled down the stairs to the living room, empty as the day they disappeared. He exited his barren house and sauntered into town. “Man, it’s been raining again.” As he approached town a flicker of movement caught his gaze. Suddenly a hulking man appeared out of an alleyway and bumped into Rick, knocking him flat on his backside.

The stranger’s previously wide smile faded and he shifted the sack he was lugging on his massive shoulder. Wait. Not a sack. Is that a kid? Rick slid away slowly from the man, staring, attempting to make sense of this ridiculous scene.

The man paused and leaned over, looking him in the face. “I’m terribly sorry. Can I help you?”

Rick scrambled to his feet and backed away. “No, thank you.” He scuttled away from the giant stranger and continued on his way. Rick opened the doors to the gambling halls and stepped over the threshold. Immediately the dissonance and stench of a popular pub assaulted his senses. Rick frequented this particular place because it was easy to win money from the locals. They always used the same imbecilic techniques. Upkeep for a big house was much easier with a little income, and throwing dice with these idiots was like taking candy from a baby.

“So you’re a gambler too?” A familiar voice rumbled. Rick whirled around and there stood the stranger from before with a toothy grin on his face, sans the...package on his shoulder.

“Are you following me?” Surprise spiked the tone of Rick’s voice.

The stranger bellowed a laugh. “Don’t be ridiculous. I’m just here to pick up some extra pocket change for the guild allowance.”

Rick eyed the nearby table. “Guild? What kind of guild?”

“It’s an adventure guild I founded called Unfortunate Cynics. We’re pretty small, but our members seem to be really happy.”

He seemed nice enough and wasn't as scary as it first seemed. Rick seated himself at a table and with his newfound opponent and proceeded to beat him soundly at every game.

“Gods! Why are you always winning? And here I thought I was pretty good.” The stranger grimaced, rubbing the back of his neck. He noticed something off with the game; Rick won every time, even games of chance he won without any effort. The man was no stranger to gambling and knew that Rick couldn’t have won without using some super natural power.

            “So, what kind of trickery are you using to win all the time?” The stranger’s brow furrowed quizzically.

           Rick’s hand slipped and the dice fell from his fingers. The faintest crackle of electricity clung to their slick surface. It fizzled and disappeared the moment the dice hit the table. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Rick shifted his gaze to avoid the man’s scrutiny.

          “Come step outside for a moment.” The stranger stood.

A light drizzle faded to mist as they stepped outside. The stench of the sewage wafted through the streets, mingling with wood smoke.

“So, what did you wanted to talk about.” Rick glanced around nervously.

“You have the power of lightning I see, it seems your powers can be pretty useful.” The stranger said with confidence.

Rick shifted on his feet. No one’s ever tracked my movements. Who is this guy?

“I mean I do have lightning powers, but I don’t know how to control them yet.” Rick said cautiously.

“Don’t worry about it, if you want you can come to my guild and you can learn a thing or two while you are there.” The strange man’s toothy grin returned.

“I think I’ll take you up on that offer, by the way what is your name master?” Rick could barely contain his glee. A teacher at last!

The strange man walked down the steps of the gambling house and started walking down one of the sideroads. “Well, are you coming?”

“Yes, of course!” Rick trotted down the steps after him.

“By the way, my name is Net.”

Chapter 4

Today was going to be a good haul, Derek felt that he was going to make quite a bit of money from today's street performing. He usually stood on the busiest corner of the city to show off his flame tricks. He hadn't been doing it for long, just a short while to make some extra coin. Generally Derek would start with just showing the viewers what he can do. Thus he would generate some fire out of thin air that would gather people's attention and draw them in. Then he would proceed with some actual tricks.

Most people leave mid-way through the show because everyone has stuff to do, plus the area is right next to the shopping district. But today there was one man who was there the whole show. Derek thought that was a little off, but not unheard of, so he passed that off. The guy didn’t smile all that much, just stared at Derek almost like he was evaluating him, judging him. He wasn't going to let that stop him. It was a busy day at the corner so he couldn't afford to keep thinking about it.

Just when it was getting busiest and he was getting the most coin tossed into his little red satchel, the guards showed up. They never liked him doing his little performances there because they claimed it would be a “hazard to the people.” That never stopped Derek, he would show up often because it was his only source of income. Derek spotted the obvious gold designs of the guards uniform, and right as he saw them the guards were already on their way. Thus Derek ended his act with a bright flash, which was a trick he had recently learned for this exact situation. While the flash was shining and everyone was blinded for a few seconds, Derek quickly grabbed his earnings for the day and bolted away. Heading into the alleyway he had planned to use for a quick escape route, Derek looked behind him to see if anyone was following. To his surprise, the large man who had previously been staring at him was on the podium, standing there, looking at him. Wha...Derek wondered, Why is he just standing there?

Just as the thought ran through his head, he stumbled over a small crack in the path. When he regained his balance he looked again and the stranger was gone. There were only the two guards who spotted him before. Derek brushed it off and kept running. The guards shouted behind him, first calling for backup, then ordering him to stop, Why in the world would I stop when you tell me? Derek thought. He took a sharp right around a corner and used the distance between the guards behind him to safely use his fire ability again, this time producing fire at his feet to try to propel himself upward.

“Shit shit shit, THINK!” Derek muttered as he nearly fell flat on his face. He tried it a little differently the next time, leaping from wall to wall, and reached the top of the building, leaving obvious scorch marks on the walls. Jumping from building to building, Derek headed to his “safe spot,” which was just a small cabin near the outside of town. Derek never liked being cramped in big crowds of people. He always performed on a podium where he wouldn’t be crowded. Plus the guards didn't come around often.

When Derek got to his shack, he counted the money he had earned that day, “Damn.” He finished counting it, realizing that he didn't make a whole lot today. He never went out for a second round, but today he made an exception. He set up in a different spot, but still close to his original place of business. Soon the guards were back, but Derek spotted them later than he should have. There were more than last time, and when he used his flash bomb it wasn't as effective. The guards almost had him surrounded. He used his flames at his feet to propel himself to safety. He had to run further away and ducked into a covered alcove, winded from the pursuit. After a few minutes the guards reappeared. Derek was almost surrounded. He searched the alley wildly and his gaze locked onto a metal door. He tugged furiously at the handle to no avail. Suddenly three loud bangs resounded through the metalwork from the opposite side. The door dented and gave under the onslaught, slamming into Derek and knocking him off his feet. The strange man from his first performance was there, hand extended. Derek stared at his outstretched arm, stunned by the turn of events. The stranger grabbed the boy’s arm and yanked him through the new opening with incredible force. They successfully evaded the guards and took refuge in a modestly sized guild hall. Derek collapsed on the floor, completely exhausted.

The huge man turned to him and crossed his arms. “Hey. Name’s Net.” He settled behind the bar and rested his elbows on the sturdy woodwork. “By the way, you're part of my guild now .”

[cothrek]

Unfortunate Cynics Pt. 1

This is a story I’ve begun writing with some friends of mine. It has elements from Boku no Hero Academia in the sense that most people have a power but it has a flaw of some kind. It also has Fairy Tail elements, such as guilds that complete quests. So far I’m posting the origins of the more important guild members and the first chapter we have written up, as we write more I’ll post more. If it goes well I’ll post the characters in-depth descriptions. We each wrote our chapters ourselves before our editor friend helped us spruce em up a bit. Here goes.

My character’s name is Net, he’s the guildmaster. My friends’ characters are Hailey, Zac, Derek, Rick and Kara.

I’ll be posting the chapters in increments of two, once or twice a week. We already have six chapters so if you want more, lemme know.

A heavy breath, and hunched shoulders. Zac had been running for hours, he had no idea where to, just that he needed to run. He had to escape the clutches of the law, not that he didn’t deserve it. Zac was a known thief country-wide due to his abilities. He rounded the corner and stopped in his tracks. An officer was rummaging through the alleyway, searching high and low. There was only one person he could be searching so diligently for at this time of night. Zac skulked closer to the guard through the shadows. Zac reached one hand out from the shadows and touched the guard’s head, knocking the guard out instantly. He then stepped into the moonlight and knelt by the officer’s side. Government appointed guards were usually pretty well-paid. It wouldn’t hurt to liberate this man of his heavy change. As Zac dug his hands through the officer’s pockets, a cat’s hiss startled him back into the shadows.

A tall bear of a man stepped into view, his cloak swishing against the diminutive walls of the alleyway. He crouched to inspect the unconscious guard. Zac shifted closer. Another easy target? The new stranger seemed easy enough to take down. He looked like an unassuming, bumbling old man. Zac’s hand flashed out and latched onto the stranger’s wrist. In a split second, he was laid out on the alley floor. What..just happened?

A deep, growly voice rumbled into his ears. “Don’t try anything stupid, kid.”

“Don’t underestimate me, old man,” Zac snarled. He held out his hand and gathered the shadows around him to manifest a dagger of darkness. He lept to his feet and stabbed at the stranger, who seemed kind of disinterested.

“Well, don’t say I didn’t warn you.” He stood and caught Zac by the throat, then slammed him into the stone wall. “How about in exchange for trying to jump me, you join my guild?”

Zac choked and his dagger evaporated. He struggled uselessly against the man’s meaty hand. “I’m not joining any feel-good bullshit guild.”

“I wasn’t asking.” The man drew back his fist. The last thing Zac saw was the stranger’s knuckles closing in on his tender nose.

*******

Zac came to with a skull-cracking headache. A cool, damp rag lay on his forehead, and a soft hand touched his cheek.

“How’s your head, hon?” A woman’s voice lilted to his ears. “Net doesn’t usually use this much force on a child.” Disapproval tinted her kind voice.

Zac forced his eyes open and immediately regretted it. “It’s- It’s too bright.” He whimpered. He tried to cover his face, but couldn’t move his hands. He struggled against the restraints on his wrists and glared at his captor, a young woman with long red hair.

The lady rested her gloved hand on his arm. “Sorry, Net said he didn’t trust you around me alone. You did kind of attack him for no reason.” She turned away and called out to someone, “Nick, would you be a darling and turn down the lights?”

Zac closed his left eye tightly. “Please put my hood back up. It hurts.”

The woman reached up, gently grazing her hand along the side of his face, and tugged the hood of his jacket over his eyes. “Sorry. Is that part of your...condition?”

The lights faded to darkness. Zac let his eye slit open. “You could call it that. It’s a bitch-ass flaw, but I guess it’s worth it.”

“Well, there are worse things to be afflicted with.” She smiled gently and lifted the cloth from his forehead. “My name is Hailey, by the way. If you promise to behave, I’ll untie you. I’m not much for combat, so I can’t really stop you if you try to run. Please don’t...He probably wouldn’t be very happy with you.”

Zac pondered for a moment. “I guess...It wouldn’t be too bad to observe him and catch him out when he doesn’t have the upper hand this time.” He tugged at the restraints again. “I won’t go anywhere.”

A big German Shepherd trotted up to the bed and licked Zac’s hand. “Borf.”

Hailey smiled again. “Thank you, Nick.” She untied the rope and stood. “Feel free to find an empty bed in the dormitory, dinner will be ready in two hours.”

Zac sat up and cradled his aching head in his hands. “Looks like I’m stuck here for a while.” The dog rested his head on Zac’s leg. “At least I have some understanding company.” He patted the canine’s ears gently. Nick’s tail wagged slowly, his eyes closed, and he slumped to the floor snoring happily. Zac winced. “Oops.”

Chapter 2

Net sighed a happy sigh, he had finally done it. He had saved up enough money to buy a guild hall, nothing too fancy but it would do the trick. He deemed the guild Unfortunate Cynics and liked it. Now to get members… He had made sure it was stocked up with plenty of food and drinks and he headed out to advertise the new guild. Net wasn’t very good at social interaction, preferring to fight rather than talk. So he decided on flyers. Much like the Hall itself, nothing too fancy, just a simple sheet of paper with a quick rundown of what Net expected out of would-be guildies. He made sure to mention that there would be plenty of ale and food for guildmates. Net then decided to head back to the Hall and wait.

As he turned the corner to the building he saw a dog slip inside, dragging its owner behind it. Net followed behind quietly, wanting to watch the situation first. He saw the dog dart for the leftover lunch he had abandoned on the counter, “HEY, MY FOOD!”

The owner jumped, “Sorry, Nick has a mind of his own.” The owner was a small woman who was led more by her dog rather than her leading the dog. Nick’s head turned, revealing a happy, slobbery face covered in meat sauce. The lady tugged on the dog’s leash, “Again, I’m terribly sorry, I didn’t mean to trespass.”

Net handed her a flyer, “Well, this is a guild hall, are you searching for one?”

The woman took the flyer. “Uhm. I wasn’t exactly, but I wasn’t..not looking for one?” She tugged Nick’s leash gently. “Now don’t make a mess.” The dog licked his chops and bolted, yanking the leash out of her hands. He stopped behind Net and sniffed his boots.

A smile tugged on the corners of Net’s mouth and he patted the dog’s head. “If you need details, everything important is written on that flyer.” He laid the extra flyers on the bar.

The lady stared vacantly at the sheet of paper in her hands. “Oh, well...I can’t…” She turned her face towards the door. “I should be going. Let’s go home, Nick.”

The dog whined, sat down firmly, and let out an angry bark. She sighed. “Right. We’re going home sooner or later, so it doesn’t matter if you’ll just sit there and glare at me. Let’s go.”

Nick barked again and growled low. He nudged his head in between Net’s feet and laid down.

Net picked up the dog’s leash and held it out to the woman. “Don’t worry about it, just read the flyer and if it’s not your kind of guild, toss it.”

She sighed and reached out with a gloved hand to take the leash. “I won’t be much use in an adventure guild like this. I can’t even read.” She glanced up at him, revealing glassy green eyes. “Thank you for the offer.” She tucked the flyer into her jacket pocket and pulled on Nick’s leash. “Let’s go.” Nick whined and followed her to the door.

“There’s more to life than high adventure,” Net called after her. “I’m not just looking for brute strength. And I didn’t catch your name.”

She paused in the doorway. “...You just don’t have any members yet, do you?”

Net rubbed the back of his neck, “Well yeah, but-- look, that’s not the point. I’m accepting any member with a specialty...and you seem pretty special to me.”

A crimson glow flooded into her cheeks. “Oh. Well, I’ll think about it.” She pushed open the door and stepped into the street. “And my name’s Hailey.”

[cothrek]

Her Music

This is music that when i listen to I think of Her from my Her series. Not necessarily music she liked but music that i would associate with her.

Turning Page - Sleeping At Last. I cry every time I hear this song. She used to say it reminded her of me and it now reminds me of her, I’m listening to it now and I can’t stop shaking.

Habits of My Heart - Jaymes Young. It’s lyrics are true to me, I can’t stop thinking of her, I dream about her almost every night now.

Shelter - Porter Robinson. She was my shelter, no matter the storm or trouble I could always count on her.

All Time Low - Jon Bellion, Stormzy. I’m at an All Time Low after all of it and it doesn’t seem like there’s a way up from it.

Let Her Go - Passenger. I Love her to death. You have no idea how much I do. But I had to let her go...

Caroline - Amine. We used to sing this song sometimes, more like she would sing it and dance along to it. It was cute. If I sang it it was cause I was describing her or trying to be silly.

Caroline - All Time Low. She keeps me up at night, for good reasons used to be, now it’s not so much.

Shut Up and Dance - WALK THE MOON. I’d love for her to be my destiny, and she definitely rocked the beat up sneaks look.

All of Me - John Legend. It’s true, all of me loves all of her. 

Just You & I - Tom Walker. I felt unstoppable with her, like we could take anything. She has also been the best thing to happen to me. 

Little Do You Know - Alex & Sierra. I’d wait for her. Quite a while too.

Call You Home - Kelvin Jones. In my mind I call her home, to me.

Shape of You - Ed Sheeran. I’m in love with the shape of her. All of her.

i hate u, i love u - gnash. Self explanatory really, I love her with everything and I miss her, a lot.

[cothrek]

The Other(s).

I have auditory schizophrenia, I hear voices and I have another personality. I leave the s in parentheses because day to day, depending on various factors such as if I forget my meds, the amount fluctuates. If I go without meds, the voices grow in number and volume, my other personality grows in power and I have to fight him for control. I listen to heavy metal to drown them out but if I forget my meds they overpower the music. If I do take them the voices are quieter and easier to drown out. My other half is smaller, I can easily keep control over him. Music is my only savior as I have found few people who actually silence the voices. If the other one gets too strong I have to literally fight him for control over my body, my body erupts in spasms and pain and it’s him trying to gain control. If he gets some control I become so enraged that my blood constantly boils, it happens even if i just forget my meds. It’s gotten to the point where it feels easier to just cut my hand open and let the blood flow out, I have nothing to let that rage out on. All in all, take your meds guys, they’re a huge help and they’re built to help. They save my life and skin. They can save yours too.

Feel free to talk to me about anything if you need help, or if you just want a friend.

[cothrek]

Her Pt. 5

I don’t know why i still think about everything. Everyday reminds me how much I miss her, how much I miss us. It’s whatever at this point, I don’t have the strength to fight the voices in my head anymore. I love her and I don’t know how to stop. Part of me hates that I still do. Part of me still has hope, that part is losing, it slowly gets quieter everyday. But it still persists, it will never burn out completely. I find solace in knowing that I never will fully move on because part of me doesn’t want to. I try so hard to move on and forget but I just CAN’T, no matter what I do or who I talk to the void is still there and the pain doesn’t leave me. I love her. No matter how fucking stupid it is or how much pain it causes I love this woman more than anything and I barely can tell why anymore. I have to read old posts to keep my thoughts straight. Here’s some things I’ve gathered as of late about why I love her.

Her nose: It’s cute, I like watching it scrunch up, for some reason it’s cute and funny.

Her eyes: Man her eyes are gorgeous, like fuck. I get lost staring into them and I can see the vulnerability behind them and god that makes me love her more. Just remembering it overwhelms me.

Her energy: She was always hyper, funny, and a blast to be around. She was full of surprises and good vibes and times. It was amazing.

Her craziness: She was a good crazy, one that brought laughter and fun to my cold heart, warmed it up y’know? It felt awesome to have that around. I know I didn’t show it as much as I should have.

Her compassion: She always told me I was amazing to her, although in my eyes I saw it as I didn’t do enough for what she deserved. She deserves better than me but I want her to be mine. Yet she always told me I was amazing and too good for her. All I can hope for now is that she is well and is being treated as she deserves.

Her thoughtfulness: She put thought into what she did for me, and I loved her for it. Whether it was a letter or some little gift or even it was just a conversation, she thought about me, and cared what I thought.

Her: I love her for everything. As a friend, and more. She was my best friend and more.

[cothrek]

Boiling.

I have random spasms. I can feel the blood boil for release when i have them, sometimes it feels like the only escape is to cut my hand open and let the blood flow. I have yet to succumb to these feelings but I know I will soon. I have no escapes, no one who can stop it. I take meds and they help but at the end of the day the urge is still there. It’s worse because I don’t feel that there’s a need to my life. I have no direction, or reason to live. The few things I had are gone. So now I sit and wait for my demons to take over and finally end it all for me. I’m wanting it more and more everyday.

[cothrek]

Home.

Little update on my life. I am homeless when I finish this semester and I have no one to aid me in that regard. My parents threaten to beat me and they mock my problems. I am trying to hunt for a job and a home but it isn’t going well. My shaking has not stopped, it’s going on 48 hours now. I can’t see a doc till Tuesday. I have passed the threshold for REM rebound so I can never recover from the sleep loss I have received as of late. Eating makes me sick and nothing is appetizing. Every time I think of recent events I double over with anxiety, worry, and sorrow. I shake constantly and I have no escape. The people who assist me can’t help me enough, I’m too far gone to help anymore. My mind is shot and I have no recovery. My only coping mechanism is drinking till I forget or pass out. I can’t be alone or I shake and puke. I have nothing. No escapes, no aid, no motivation to move on or work. I can’t be alone or else I succumb to my demons and worry and cry. I can’t sleep if I’m alone anymore. I have to talk someone till I pass out cause if I’m alone my mind goes crazy and I worry more. I wish to die.

[cothrek]

All Time Low

I’m at an all time low. No reference intended. I’m having my worst panic attack to date and it’s been going on for two hours now. My right arm has been moving on it’s on for the whole time. I can’t get it to stop. I’m having spasms repeatedly and frequently. I can’t sleep, and I haven’t in a long time. My mental health is deteriorating rapidly. More voices are in my head now, they scream at me and at each other. They won’t hush and no matter what I do they don’t shut up. My breathing hasn’t slowed at all and I fear I might collapse soon. Tears stream down my face from all of it and it shows no sign of stopping. I need help. It’s deathly cold and I can’t get warm.

[cothrek]

Jag Hatar

It’s how I’ve always dealt with sorrow, how I’ve gotten through pain. I turn it into anger, hatred. I don’t know why and honestly I don’t care. I’m glad that I can do this because it fuels me. It’s all I have left so might as well have as much as I can. Yet no matter how hard I try I can never make myself hate her. I know she wishes I did, I don’t understand why she would. It doesn’t make sense to me but that doesn’t matter, I won’t. I could hate everything else but I will never hate her. She can hate me or what I’m saying all she wants but I will never return that feeling. A part of myself holds onto her, I’m glad it does. When I think of her it brings pain yes, and fear, even sorrow but never hatred. Yet when I think of her I also feel love and joy and hope. It may never be reciprocated and it may be false, wishful thinking they say. But I will cling to it, because I’m stubborn and wish too. It makes me realize I may one day feel and be myself again. Plus I always hope one day she may return to me. It may never happen and I realize that but if I don’t have hope I have nothing but hate to fuel me.

[cothrek]

Her Pt. 4

Whenever I get sad I think about what I love about her, I don’t know why as it just brings more sadness in. Sometimes I read through old messages and I see how we’ve changed. We were opposites personality wise, it was a good thing I believed, meant we complimented each other well and if ever a problem arose we’d have two different perspectives on it. Not saying our stubbornness wouldn’t hinder that but it was nice to have a different perspective on everything really. But over time I saw us change, in our messages and in life. We switched personalities really. She was energetic and clingy and cute where as I was cold and distant, didn’t really react to much. Near the end we changed, she became cold, distant whereas I became clingy and hyper when I spoke or hung out with her. I believe she poured so much into me trying to help make me not as distant and cold that she forgot to save some for herself, and is now cold like I used to be and am becoming. Anyway, back to the music.

Her conscience: There is an episode of American Dad where when Stan falls asleep his conscience does nice things and is a good person. Not to say she isn’t a good person heheh but rather she would tell me things she normally wouldn’t when she was really tired. We saw each other about a month ago and I witnessed it and it brought me hope. I know it’s probably in my head, wishful thinking, but it felt nice to hear. She would sometimes come into the room I stayed in her grandmother’s house and would lay with me. She would tell me how she loved me and tell me she didn’t want me to leave, she would cling to me and tell me these things. Wishful thinking maybe but it brought me hope for the future.

Her romance: We both had romantic minds, we shared our visions of the future. Of marriage, kids and life together. I still have my proposal ideas in my head if i were able to ask her. I was never able to take her on romantic dates to fancy restaurants or for a night out somewhere special and I always wished I could because she deserved it all. My mind had a part in it, although I was a romantic thinker I wasn’t a romantic person, I was embarrassed by that side of me, but thanks to her I’m more in tune with it and I thank her for it.

Her jealousy: She would get very jealous and protective over me if another girl was there or if someone hurt me. I thank her for being that way, I need someone like that. I never showed how truly jealous or territorial I was about her because I was afraid it might scare her or push her away. In my head, if she wanted to hang out with a guy she would have to have me with her so I show the guy that she was mine and that he wasn’t to try anything.

Her friendliness: She was always friendly to everyone until given a reason not to be, like me, she was lonely and wanted friends. We still are that way, nice and friendly because we wish for friendships. But whenever it was a guy it made me insanely jealous because she would talk to them and try to make friends, I know why she did but I was very territorial and I know how guys will be. For example she was talking to a guy when we had a “break” this was around Christmas and when she told him we had fixed our issues and were back on track he stopped speaking to her. She wants friends but she is an insanely beautiful girl and she is also insanely nice and a cuddly person so it will be tough for her to find guys who don’t have an ulterior motive. I offered her my friendship when we stopped talking, telling I will always be here if she needs or wants to speak with me. But god only knows when we may speak again. Hopefully soon heh. After all I made a promise over a year ago to a crying girl that I had just kissed for the first time that I would never leave her, no matter what happens.

As always my inbox is open and as always these feelings are all true to me.

[cothrek]

Tystnad

Silence does a lot to the mind, it can aid it when overwhelmed or it can destroy it. All silence does for me is the latter, if ever I get silence it brings me pain. I do not wish for silence but it is a necessary element in my life. I hate what the silence does to my head and how it amplifies everything I feel yet I can’t change it. Part of me doesn’t want to change it, part of me enjoys the pain, welcomes it even. I can’t blame it, at least I’m feeling something right?