cusackswhitehair

[cusackswhitehair]

that’s how it should be… sha sha.. sha doo!

decided to try out some if that sweet forbidden fruit that is helmetless roba💪💪 who would’ve thought roba would be such an interesting trans allegory too, ben jones you rock‼️‼️‼️ ALSO GAP TOOTH ROBA IS GROWING ON MEEE!!!

[cusackswhitehair]

we (yes WE) are celebrating The Problem Solverz’s big (yes BIG) comeback THIS IS SO AWESOME GOD SAVE TPS GOD SAVE ROBA‼️‼️‼️‼️

ROBA stupid robot guy

ROBA

[cusackswhitehair]

fuckass out there acting like he going through immense physical torment and mental anguish beyond our comprehension 😂😂😂🙏🙏🙏🙏

should i write heartwrenching glampire roba whump for ao3 or should i go to the corner store and buy a cola lollipop :O)

[cusackswhitehair]

when the booty too fat idk

[cusackswhitehair]

ACTUAL INSANITY MOOT speechless‼️‼️

yolo: gyaru fantasy

[cusackswhitehair]

another wip……this is actually the LIFE guys what more would I need

WIP of a certain bloodsucking germaphobe dorkazoid

yes i’m right back on the track god has told me to follow, drawing roba again………sigh

[cusackswhitehair]

WIP of a certain bloodsucking germaphobe dorkazoid

yes i’m right back on the track god has told me to follow, drawing roba again………sigh

[cusackswhitehair]

that fucking snail that i hate

[cusackswhitehair]

girls and swords coming exclusively to hulu

[cusackswhitehair]

Alex tweaking at the concept of pineapple on pizza

[cusackswhitehair]

Can i have some stinky pengvin?

Can i have Dratula HCs?

//Desc: FINALLY A DRATULA ASK!!🙏🙏 My day—no, my whole existence is complete, good mornink complete life. Dratula has to be up in the top five of my favorite characters, who could hate such a straight-forward amd honest man. He is Dratula and there is absolutely nothing you can do about that. His halloween animation effects are especially charming, (also I just HEAR how much Vinny enjoyed himself voicing this fine nobleman ) He has never done anything wrong in his life guys…thanks for requesting and enjoy some STRONK headcanons!💪💪 \\

⊱ ۫ ׅ ✧ 🩸 Dratula General Headcanons 🌹 ⊱ ۫ ׅ ✧

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Dratula — being the overly vigorous man that he is, enjoys a lot of vampire media. He’s got it all and he can ( and will ) tell you all about it, his books, reports about real sightings. His personal favorite are old Dracula films, he wishes to know who Dracula is, sounds like a phony, he only knows Dratula. He held Bela Lugosi’s name on such a high pedestal, that he started to speak with a broken transylvanian accent, which only made him even more…peculiar, and resulted in numerous meltdowns from Froggy. “You are not transilvanian, so quit it!!” “OF COURSE, I AM NOT. I AM DRATULA.” “This is hopeless!”

Insecure about his penguinness, which we don’t speak about ( he just has…lopsided feet, okay?! ) Dratula has tried around a couple different methods to hide his tappy little feet. Shoes were immediately out of the question, no matter how stylish he tried to be, they always ended up looking ridiculous on him. He also went to a particular wise man around the Uncanny Streets, hoping to turn his feet normal. The Shaman only made himself disappear and reappear and it made Dratulas’ head hurt, ineffective.

When he finds an individual worthy of his grace and affection,( easier than you think ) Dratula will bring them rocks as prized presents, hold flippers—uhm! Hands with them and help the person preen themselves, showing his deep commitment to them, like all penguins—feared vampires would.

Speaking of affection, Dratula is highly oblivious to all romantic appriaches or signs, so if you expect him to take a hint or initiate, please don’t. “VHO IS THIS HUNK YOU MENTION NIGHT AND DAY? I AM DRATULA.”

Dratula enjoys a sense of routine and tidiness, the castle of his mind stays unoccupied and neat. He cleans his (absolutely non-suspicious) trench coat every three days otherwise he would start to find it uncomfortable and itchy.

His face of paper can infact be stolen off of his head, not sure why anybody would do that! His face is easily detachable, just a matter of your fingers and the loose-hanging tape. Dratula will find this a mortal punishment for whatever he has done. He doesn’t go blind obviously, and God knows what is under that piece of paper, but he will act like an average person with glasses in a cartoon, basically non-functional without it.

While he does hear people’s thoughts, ( it is unknown how this would correlate with his vampireness ) he will only really hear the one’s that would offend him later, he has quite selective hearing!

To get more and more submerged in the culture, Dratula often reads books from the victorian era, ones that sing about the otherworld and such. The only problem is that Dratula has quite a hard time understanding such documents from that time, he will brag about it nontheless. He also likes to write letters, don’t expect no booty-calls from Dratula! Only a letter through pidgeon post, with an adorable stamp, velvety red seal and golden thread. He really tries in this regard.

Dratula is a rather open book, this attribute of his often turns to a dangerous amount of naivity. It’s not a rare sight that Froggy or Coral Glasses have to drag him out of shady scenarios.

When cold, Dratula will crane his neck in and huddle up against anybody to stay warm, anybody who would let him of course. Froggy is obviously indifferent about it, Coral Glasses’ frame is just too small to lean on. “Y’know…sometimes I just really think, you sure do be acting just like a penguin—“ “VHAT!? A VHAT!? HOV DARE YOU!”

[cusackswhitehair]

hey im back again.. would you also be up for doing romantic hcs about the bellham/suspicious man too? this part isn't exactly tied to the request, but i imagine whoever he dates to be super weird too considering he says he has deviant tastes. like he could be walking around smelling like straight ethanol and his spouse would just be like

//Desc: TW: Suggestive content (pretty lukewarm don’t worry) Scurrying back for more love to give to these kooks? Sure thing, would do the same thing. Especially with Bellham, I realized I really like writing for him, the guy is such a character. Writing for outlandishly eldritch-ass characters always hits so close to home, like the man would be tucking you in bed at night, kissing your forehead and in the next moment he’s going “Wrong. Bedbug Infestation.” Bellham, the man you are. Thanks for requesting as always! \\

⋆｡𖦹 🪢 Bellham/Suspicious Man Romantic Headcanons 🧪 ⋆｡𖦹

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Bellham, while he wallows in the thought of others struggling in their own minds’ captivity, he’s quite a hedonist himself. Living for his — and his beloveds’ wayward pleasures and tendencies is a must. He’s also prone to worship his admired lover, to cherish them with his eyes’ field, to make them know their worth and superiority. He will quite literally feed you grapes doused in honey. If you were a jewel, he would wear you everywhere, no doubt.

His headless henchmen will also start to serve you, like a secondary master, jumping at your feet like loyal underlings. They are quite sweet and Bellham ( kind of on a “Mi casa es tu casa” basis ) doesn’t even bat an eye, perhaps he’ll click his tongue in dissatisfaction when the henchmen would get a little too pushy on serving you. He would also pull little pranks on them to entertain you, jingling their bell heads while they run around to get it back, all in vain.

If his darling is willing to do so, he will tell them endlessly about his unquenchable interest about Enas. All his observations and fixation materialize in you getting interested in the matter aswell, leading to many unorthodox conversations.

Bellham has been all around the globe, a well travelled man who would love to share all of his observations about this mad, idiosyncratic world. A lot of travels and escapades come into place, where Bellham will be an eager tour guide.

Despite having a rather unnerving look to him, you can spread him on bread for all you know, he’s a sweetheart is what he is. To you at least. Speaking of hands, if his beloved appriciates physical affection, he is more than happy to give it to them. He does have quite the number of hands on him, hugs from those paws are top-notch. Not to mention he can just yoink you right away with the hand under his torso. “OHH. Precious. You Must Know. That I am. All Hand No. Bite. Heheheh.”

Bellham is inclined to enjoy a little ruthless, cruel fun from time to time, but only to entertain his dear lover, of course! He would trap helpless little bugs with his thread and laugh as they would scuffle, toss and turn around in the red weft. “Caught In A Skirmish. Aren’t YOU? Your Worst. FEAR. Doomed Upon YOU. Captivity.” “Oh, Bellham you’re just so wise!”

Of course, if it’s to his beloveds’ heart ( and because he’s a freak ) he will use his threads on you. Even non-suggestively, Bellham will enjoy tying a knot on your finger to express a form of deep companionship and dependence. If it’s on the other way around however… he knows his way around kinbaku and ropes.

With everything in mind, he isn’t perfect unfortunately. Bellham is terrible at texting. Just don’t expect him to get any better. He capitalizes every single word and puts a period right after, it’s a pain to read it. If he even manages to stumble upon GIFS, brace yourself to get the most cheesy, eye sore of a GIF ( probably one of those disgusting, glittery “Good Morning, Have a Great Day” ones ). You can see he’s trying his best.

With all his deviant tastes, Bellham is still quite old fashoined when it comes to love. He would leave flowers at your door all of the time, so don’t be afraid when his henchmen turn up at your door and summon the most breathtaking bouquet of flowers.

Whether their partner likes it or not, and no matter how hard it is to say this, he does smell funky. But not in a way a human being, or any living organism would define smelling “funky” should smell. It’s more of a chemical smell that pricks your nose awhile, you won’t get sick though. Only lovesick if that counts!

It does take some time to get accustomed to all of Bellhams’ antics, but if you do, the next step is to try to outweird him. He does enjoy his partner opening for his deviancies, and don’t think you can’t surprise the old fellow.

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PS: I’ve temporarily closed requests, hopefully not for long, but a good amount of asks have accumulated, so until I finish all of these, it shall be closed ouuuuuuuuuu👻👻👻 Also I got hooked on the game Thronglets from Black Mirror, so those rascals eat up my time too lmaooo

[cusackswhitehair]

Mooney x Alex is needed

(bonus if Alex hoards gender and pronouns too, they don't discriminate, whatever xe want is hers)

//Desc: Cheese and Rice, dude I LOVE THIS RAREPAIR WITH ALL MY HEART!! Alex and Mooney are a match made in heaven I tell you, too bad I’m gonna’ have to scurry through the deepest catacombs of the internet if I wished to find content about them, and that’s a crime right there! But I enjoy all the breadcrumbs I may receive! We could call the ship “Half Moon” cause Alex stole her other half, haha, peak. Anyways, thank you for requesting and enjoy! \\

⏾⋆ .˚ 🌘 Moony x Hoarder Alex Dating Headcanons 🗑️ ⏾⋆.˚

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Not a day passes without Moony coughing up some puns, that’s just how the world must be. As the Sun has to shine, and the Earth has to spin, the Moon has to…bug her boyfriend with her ungodly puns to death. She should do stand-up really, maybe she could cover up Alex fighting for his life behind her. We must admit, they are terribly tirering and it seems Moony has a goldmine of them up there in her noodle. They just never stop. “Babe—babe what do you think about this one—cough cough How does the moon cut its hair? Eclipse it. Ha-ha-ha—get it?” “Make it stop, per favore Dio! Unbearable!” “Pfft, y’know what they say! Garbage humor: quite a bin-efit! Ha!”

Nobody belived these two were actually together, and even after if became more than obvious…they are textbook definition of a bromamce turned romance. If it wasn’t for the overly passionate nature Alex posesses, nobody would have a clue. He could be giving out the most breathtaking bouquet and Moony would say something along the lines of “dudee, really? For me? Awh, man you’re like, the best…like gadzooks my guy!”

Alex had never admired anybody more, than when he first watched Moony skate down a ramp. She would so effortlessly rock the board without limbs and Alex can barely even stand up straight on one. Moony was eager (as eager as she could physically be…) to teach Alex to skate, but the poor fellow proved to be all fingers and thumbs when it comes to vehicles that are more complicated than a tricycle. Despite this, Alex was avid to show off those sweet moves. “Moony! Moony! I swear, I’ve got it this time!” face plants “Doing great, man, keep it up!”

Turning their back to all the large gatherings of idiots, Alex and Moony often having endless escapades around Alex’s hoard. When the sun peaks on top of the highest part of the horizon, Moony always manages to find something to be awestruck about. What can they do? Real treasure hides under that solid ground of junk. For example, Alex has a few files of whole neopronoun lists lying around, which proved to be quite a chick magnet. “Woah dude!!! You have these stuff??” “What stuff?” “Holy wow, Space/Spaces/Spaceself?! This is neat, let me have this!”

Moony, although very rarely, brings up her weight, a dodgy subject that she’s unhappy about. Ever since that thing with The Great Runas, she has had a little bug up her mind, it’s a major insecurity. Now Alex? He was knocked sideways about this, he surely wasn’t a very self-concious fellow, but Moony? That bit of alright bombshell? After he got a wind of this, he started to leave a bunch of encouraging notes around like “looking hot today babe!” and other laughable stuff like that.

These two are the BIGGEST judgers around, they keep it to their own, but the gossip hits every single time. They would be the sort of couple who would make cringe buttons out of paper and press it ceaselessly and mimic incorrect buzzer sounds between one another.

After a certain suspicious man provided Moony some peculiar looking hemp, the couple would sesh after nights of long days, melting into a sofa with its’ springs out, guzzling diet soda, taking the fattest riffs off the bong. Moony would put up some of her favorite sitcoms to dazily laugh at…now we know where she gets those wacky puns…

This pair shares a mutual passion for complaining about the upmost trivial things, only that Moony goes the more cynical route, while Alex kicks trash cans and rolls on the floor at the smallest inconvenience. Moony monitors this quite “lame” behaviour thoroughly… she calls Alex’s trantrums cringe and that’s enough somehow.

You couldn’t even begin to fathom that battlefield, that is their bed. Not only does it look like a wasteland after nuclear Armageddon, and not only does Alex sleep in the position of a star fish, protecting his valuables even in his sleep, there isn’t a single night in which one of them doesn’t roll down on the floor or finds themselves huddled up in some crazy position in the morning. God knows what they do in their sleep.

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[cusackswhitehair]

Shaman romantic headcanons please I will actually cry🥀🥀

I KNOW WHO YOU ARE. get tf out of my inbox, go do something man.

[cusackswhitehair]

Hey diva, if you've got the time, could u maybe whip up some Hoarder Alex HCs (romantic or platonic, idm!!) with reader who's a crybaby/super anxious? Like at first he finds them annoying but they're so kind to him that he starts to rlly appreciate them? Ty in advance!!! ^^

//Desc: Asks like this are sooo cute dude, I’m shedding tears😢😢 No matter how big of a jackass Alex is, don’t think I don’t see those cracks where it’s obvious he just has a lot going on…most of these things would be easily avoidable if he wasn’t so…him. But there’s nothing a shaking bundle of anxiety can’t fix, he quite literally will forgot about complaining about his trivial nothing burger of problems! He’s got a sweetheart to calm down and nurture. Thanks so much for requesting as always!! \\

⋆𐙚₊˚ 📢 Hoarder Alex with Crybaby! S/O 💐 ⋆𐙚₊˚

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Why, isn’t that just nice? Not only does he has to endure inhumane conditions, dragging and shoving his property about and has to worry about pesky intruders, thiefs! Cutpurses even!! Now he also has an inescapable though engraved into his mind. The first time he had encountered you, you told him you were trying to get trough, and you can’t swim and that you REALLY can’t swim—but not so fast you little pickpocket! He just spat the classic talk and shooed you off, like all the others…something he really didn’t expect was for you to start shaking like a leaf, sobbing, like you were ready to fall onto the floor and roll around. What a damn fusspot.

It became all the more infuriating when you had the audacity to come back later and apologize!? It made him want to tear his hair out! He was being a jerk to you and you apologize!? Oh… After (probably days of) rethinking the situation, he went out of his way and told you that “maybe…you weren’t trying to get your grubby hands on my properties…maybe.”

Your stay around the Uncanny Streets made him realize countless things, one; you’re terrible at managing stress (look who’s talking) and two; you’re disgustingly nice-hearted, even if that sometimes costs you a tear or two. He finds himself thinking about whether a certain hoarded item would make you feel happy, would this tile he kicked off and put away from The Hub make you whine a little less?

Don’t underestimate the might of a hoarder! No matter how smaller he is compared he is, he will pick you up to either comfort you or to distance you from someone bugging you, yelling “THEY ARE NOT INTERESTED, FLY OFF!!” rather calmly.

He might be a nitwit, but he’s a proper one at least. It didn’t take much time for him to learn you and the signs of you getting close to your breaking point. Don’t feel comfortable talking (especially if you’re selective mute) in a situation? No matter, he’ll get you those extra ketchup packets and demand a new burger withOUT pickles! Currently breaking down into an anxiety attack? He will personally escort you out of the space, no matter how many people he has to kick off to manage to do so.

Alex is very considerate and shielding, and when it comes to his most carefully kept jewel, his sweetheart, he will easily blow his stack…But the thing is, he’s not a good fighter. A highly enthusiastic one? Sure, however in the majority of the cases, you’ll be the one getting him out of that deuce of a mess he gets himself into while blindly trying to protect you. He’s unfortunately the type of guy who will jump into your arms, screaming like a girl whenever he’s spooked.

You really are the apple of his censor bar. Alex deep down loves doing small things for you — that will make your nerves soothe, but when you do stuff for him? Lord does he swoon! That ugly, bubbly, warm feeling in his stomach used to bother him when he looked at you, all too clammy, not for the weak. But a smile…and less fussing makes it all worth it.

He tries to make his living space (yeah, that dump) as comfortable as possible. Since the ship wreck is quite a dark place, so dimmer, warmer lights were a given. He always jumps in to absolutely destroy anything around the makes you on edge. He would also hoard a bunch of things just for you. “Oh, tesorino! I’ve got us some weighted blankets!”

He has never had to be delicate with anyone — with anything for that matter. The hoard will be there whether if he’s tossing things on top of it like a brute or if he’s laying on top, like a proud lion. With you though, he knows he has to walk around the edges and reassure you. Baby’s first relationship that requires compassion.

Cuddles. When you’re not crying like a fussbudget and he’s not ranting into the sky about absolutely nothing, that silent language the both of you understand — is cuddling. It doesn’t matter if it’s a little hand holding by the bridge or you with your legs and arms wrapped around him like a monkey on a tree, quietly sobbing into his sweater, he eats it up like the finest meal, all the time. Especially when it’s totally uninterrupted, his tail wrapped around your leg under the covers when you two are sleeping, it makes him feel like he’s doing something right.

If it ever gets to a point where you would have a panic attack, first of all he would panic. But don’t take him for a sissy, he’ll try all the methods in his repertoire. Sometimes, he’ll ask the most outlandish questions to get your mind off of your anxiety and more on the thought “what the hell is wrong with this guy”. “QUICK! NAME FIVE THINGS FROM MY HOARD YOU KNOW I’D NEVER GIVE AWAY—alright, all off them, I let you off easy there.”

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[cusackswhitehair]

HOLY SHIT CUMING AGAIN BRAH. HOW DID I NOT SEE THIS MY MAN, I STALK YOUR TIKTOK STORIES ALL THE TIME WTFFF we have the same mind dude, we just want a fat south italian jerk to hoard us some cute trinkets and waste the day away with doing jackshit….the real american dream

Gulp i drew @cusackswhitehair ‘s human Alex cause we have VERY similar human Alex designs and urs makes me feel incredibly yaoiful and i love how u draw him

[cusackswhitehair]

ohhhhhh my fucking god im flipping out, im deteriorating is this real life, first of all your design is SCRUMPTIOUS and the way you drew mine…. dude salivating on the spot THOSE ARMHAIRS BETTER BE IN MY TUMMY BY NOON. i am eating his hair actuallyDUDE I CANT RIGHT NOW

no lube, no protection, all night, all day, from the kitchen floor to the toilet seat, from the bathroom sink to the shower, from the front porch to the balcony, vertically, horizontally, quadratic, exponential, logarithmic, while I gasp for air, scream, and see the light, missionary, cowgirl, reverse cowgirl, doggy, backwards, sideways, upside down, on the floor, in the bed, on the couch, on a chair, being carried, against the wall, outside, in a train, on a plane, in the car, on a motorcycle, on the back of a truck, on a trampoline, in a bounce, in the pool, in the garden, bent over, in the basement, against the window, having the most toe curling, back arching, leg shaking, cock throbbing, fist clenching, era ringing, mouth drooling, ass clenching, nose sniffing, eye watering, eye rolling, hip thrusting, earthquaking, sheet gripping, knuckles cracking, jaw dropping, hair pulling, teeth jitterbug, mind blogging, soul snatching, overstimulating, vile, sloppy, moan introducing, heart wrenching, spine tingling, back breaking, atrocious, gushy, creamy, beastly, lip biting, gravity defying, nail biting, sweaty, feet kicking, mind blowing, body shivering, orgasmic, bone breaking, world ending, black hole creating, universe destroying, devious, scrumptious, amazing, delightful, delectable, unbelievable, body numbingI AM GOING TO CRYYYY

Gulp i drew @cusackswhitehair ‘s human Alex cause we have VERY similar human Alex designs and urs makes me feel incredibly yaoiful and i love how u draw him